Here's another chapter of my stupid, directionless, boring story! Cheers!
13
It's only five when we leave the bar, but it's already completely dark outside. Between the rapidly falling snow and the Christmas lights shining from nearby businesses and apartment balconies, the atmosphere is festive and the feeling in my chest is light.
"It's fucking freezing out," I complain because being happy doesn't make me immune to the elements.
"Are y'all hungry? I'm starving," Alice announces as we walk back to my place.
"I could definitely eat… again," Edward says, giving me a cheeky grin that makes my face burn. Thankfully Alice and Jasper are ahead of us and don't notice his expression or my reaction.
"So crass," I murmur, and Edward reaches for my hand.
"We can order pizza or something?" Jasper suggests.
"Edward is going to make me dinner," I tell them, emphasizing myself and hoping they can read between the lines that I'm telling them to get lost.
Alice turns around to face us as we wait at the crosswalk and notices my hand in Edward's. Her face doesn't break into a smile, but I can tell she's fighting it. I subtly make a face like play it cool, bitch. She thankfully does.
"Are we cramping your holiday romcom vibe if we're there, too?" Alice asks.
I'm confused about why they'd be joining us for dinner, but remember they lost power and will likely stay with me tonight.
Wonderful.
Nothing less romantic than that.
"Yes. You're turning this romcom into a freaking tragedy," I tell her truthfully… dramatically. "Can't y'all spring for a hotel tonight?"
She laughs.
She thinks I'm joking.
And fine, the idea of forcing my sister and her husband to a hotel when I have a perfectly terrible pullout couch they can sleep on feels shitty. So, I sigh and accept that I will likely be blocked from the cock yet again.
The signal to cross the road sounds and we walk.
"Do we need to go to the store to grab anything for dinner?" Edward asks me. "My car could probably make it since the roads look plowed and not iced over yet."
"If we can avoid driving, we should so let's just order pizza. There's a place up the street we can walk to. But we need more alcohol and some snacks, too."
"Okay," Edward agrees. "But one of these days I am going to make you dinner."
"Twist my arm," I laugh. "You like to cook?"
"I'm not a Michelin-star chef or anything but I have a few meals I can do pretty well."
"But of course," I tease. "You're just the perfect man, huh? You love to cook, you love your family, and you love… pie."
Edward grins but it's Jasper who speaks as we stop in front of my building.
"Who doesn't love pie?" Jas asks rhetorically, thankfully not catching my innuendo. "Why don't Alice and I go grab the pizza and booze as a thank-you for crashing."
I hastily agree to the new plan, desperate for a minute alone with Edward. Alice looks less thrilled about walking further in the snow, but beggars can't be choosers. And cockblockers can't be cozy.
"Sorry about them crashing our night," I tell Edward once we're inside my toasty apartment. "I forgot they'd probably be staying."
He sighs but he doesn't look put out. "I forgot, too, but it's okay. They're cool."
"Yeah? They're not going to scare you off?" I ask, and he sits on the couch after we remove our coats, and tugs on my arm so I'll straddle him.
"Nah. I can tell they love you, so I know they're just looking out. Even if they were scary, I'd put up with their shit for you."
"There you go again, saying the most perfect—" he shuts me up with a kiss, "thing."
"I guess it comes easy with you," he says simply.
I really, really love that.
"Hey, what do you want for Christmas?" I ask.
"You don't have to get me anything, Bella."
"I want to."
"I don't need anything."
"Christmas can be about wants, not needs."
He smirks. "Okay, well… in that case, I want you."
I wait for him to expand. "Want me to what?"
He laughs like he's exasperated. "You, Swan. I just want you. In whatever capacity that means."
The idea of giving myself to him makes me warm. Sensual images flash in my mind—an entire day of just us in bed, no distractions, no cockblockers, just access to each other's mouths and bodies.
"I'll figure something out," I say with a smirk.
"Well, don't think too hard. I'm an easy man to please."
"Aren't you going to ask me what I want for Christmas?"
"No," he says, and I scoff, even though my gift for him is a gift for us. "I already know what I'm going to get you."
This intrigues the hell out of me. "Really?"
"Yeah."
"Did you already buy it?" I ask, excited.
"No."
"Which store will you buy it from?"
He laughs. "I'm not telling you. It's a surprise and you'll find out on Christmas." I pout but love that he already has something in mind. "Let me guess, you were one of those kids who searched for where their gifts were hidden?"
"Yep. And I'd always find them too. That's why my dad started rudely hiding them in the storage unit."
"He probably did that because he loved seeing the genuine surprise on your face when you opened your presents. That's why I'm not going to give you any hints about yours because watching your face when I give it to you will be the fucking best."
My heart softens. "Have you always been this sweet?"
"No."
"I'm serious. You haven't always been this way with all of your other…" I pause because I'm unsure of what to consider us. I'm not his girlfriend and we aren't exactly fuck buddies because, well, the fucking hasn't happened yet. So I settle on, "Girls?"
He laughs. "Girls."
"You know what I mean."
"No, I don't think I've been this way with any other girls," he says again. "I think you bring out my charm."
"Uh-huh. When was your last hookup?"
His smile is smug when he says, "With you."
"Before me."
He sighs. "My last girlfriend. A year and a half ago."
"No one-night stands?"
"I'm not saying I've never had one in the past, but it's been a while."
"You're serious when you say that cock hasn't had an action for a year and a half," I deadpan. "It almost feels like a crime."
He laughs. "It's had a lot of hand action. After my last relationship, I wanted a break from dating. And then six months later I met you, so…"
"Aww. You were waiting for me."
"Well, don't make it sound so lame."
"It's not. It's sweet," I reassure him with a kiss.
"When Alice was interrogating me, I was thinking how unfair it was because I wanted to hear what your answers would have been, too."
"Oh, darn," I say in mock disappointment. "Too bad I wasn't the one being grilled."
He smiles a little. "I'm not gonna let you off the hook."
I sigh. "I don't think this conversation will be very long," I admit. "Ask away."
He gets right to it.
"Last hookup?"
"You," I tease like he did, then say more seriously, "A year ago. Someone Alice tried setting me up with. It fizzled out after a few dates."
"When was your last boyfriend?" he asks.
"Two years ago, I think?"
"Why'd you break up?"
It stings but, "He said I didn't put in enough effort."
Edward regards me and takes in this information. "So, he ended it with you?"
"Yeah, he did. And unfortunately—or fortunately, I guess—I wasn't heartbroken over it. He was right, and it was shitty of me to be involved with him when I wasn't feeling it."
"How long did you date?"
"Three months."
"What was your longest relationship?"
I hesitate then say, "Three months." He laughs softly like it's cute that I've never had a long-term relationship. "Is that a red flag for you?"
"Huge red flag. I'm outta here," he jokes but stays right where he is.
I wrap my arms around the back of his neck and play with his hair. "I've just never felt that thing with anyone."
His smile is cheeky when he asks, "What—orgasms?"
I laugh. "I'm sorry to break it to you, but just because I haven't had many relationships doesn't mean I'm a virgin."
"Dammit, Swan," he sighs, frowning.
A laugh bursts out of me. "What, weirdo? You wanted me to be a virgin?"
"No. Now I'm jealous again thinking of you with other guys."
"No, you're not," I counter.
"You're right. Only because I'm here with you right now and they aren't."
His words make me smile and I brush my fingers over his sexy lips until he's kissing my fingertips.
"I will say that you were the first guy to make me…" I raise my eyebrows a few times. "You know."
He doesn't catch on. "What?"
"You know. With your mouth."
He looks pleasantly surprised. "Really? I was the first guy to go down on you?"
"No." Disappointment floods his features again. "But you were the first guy to make me come by using your mouth," I clarify, which should be an even bigger accomplishment.
His smile widens and he gloats. "Really? Wow. It was truly an honor."
"Such a man," I chuckle. "You probably think you deserve a medal."
"Medal? Make it a trophy."
I roll my eyes. "You want a parade too?"
"Nah, that's over the top."
"Right, right. But an engraved trophy is just right."
He grins and squeezes my thighs before turning serious. "Have you ever been in love?"
I hesitate for at least five seconds. The silence feels like it stretches on and on and on, but he patiently waits for me.
"Even if I want to be open with you, I'm slightly uncomfortable talking about some of this," I admit.
"I'm sorry. Should I have not asked that?"
"It's fine. I guess I've just always viewed my lack of love life and romantic relationships as a reflection of me," I mumble. "I know I don't put myself out there, though. So, if no one has ever been able to fall in love with me, what does that say about me, you know?"
Edward shakes his head. "I guarantee someone has fallen in love with you, Bella," he says so, so softly. "Did you forget about Muscles McGee?" he offers, and I smack his chest.
"I'm gonna hurt you," I laugh, but I do appreciate him lightening the moment. "I don't know. Maybe it's me. Maybe it's not. I've just never felt that thing," I say again, and he hums, his expression tender. "Anyway. One of your ex-girlfriends actually wanted to marry you?" I ask, shifting the attention back to him.
He breathes out a soft laugh. "Jeez, don't sound so surprised."
"I'm not surprised someone wanted to marry you, dummy, but that's just so young for someone to want to get hitched at all."
"Yeah, it was weird. I don't know what her deal was. She suddenly claimed she was religious but we'd been having sex for a while—"
I make a gagging sound. "I'd like to stop thinking about you with other people now, thanks."
Edward laughs. "If it's any consolation, I feel more for you than I ever did for her."
"Lies."
"I'm serious."
My stomach flips. "Really?"
"Yeah, because you and I are friends, you know?"
"No. I don't know," I say seriously. "Why would that make you feel more for me?"
"Because there wasn't any friendship there with her," he explains without actually explaining.
I glower. "Wait. So with her, you just had an intense, mutual sexual attraction," I summarize. "Great. Cute. Love it for me."
He shakes his head. "I don't mean it like that. When you're younger, you don't realize you need more than attraction to make a relationship last. I didn't have anything beyond that with her, but you and I have a solid friendship. I love talking to you and you make me laugh. And it's just a bonus that I find you incredibly fucking sexy and want to eat your pie."
His sincere words soften me, but his suggestive ones make me smile in anticipation.
"All I'm hearing is that you're obsessed with me, Cullen."
"Is that such a bad thing?" he asks in the deepest, sexiest voice before leaning in and capturing my mouth in a kiss.
"It's an intense thing," I say honestly. "But it's flattering and I feel the same way."
"Make out with me for the next ten minutes before those interlopers show back up?"
"Fine," I teasingly sigh, but there isn't anything else I'd rather do.
He gives me the softest kisses. The sweetest kisses. He doesn't try for more, and even if I'm disappointed that he keeps it innocent, it's for the best because I know Alice and Jasper could be back any minute.
"It's weird, right? Just yesterday we'd never kissed, and now look at us," I confess, my lips grazing his mouth and my chest flush with his.
He rubs his hands up and down my back. "Weird in a good way or bad way?"
I smile against his lips. "The worst way. Because how am I ever going to want to do anything else?"
"And you claim I'm the one who says the most perfect fucking thing?"
I shrug. "I guess your vulnerability is rubbing off on me," I say casually, but it's so fucking true. I'm starting to realize that unexplainable thing I've never felt with anyone else is present with us.
He captures my mouth in another kiss, but there's fire behind it this time.
Intention.
Cupping my face, we kiss harder and longer and more intensely than before.
My hips roll ever so slightly.
He kisses his way to my neck… sucking. Biting.
"I know it's risky, but can we lock ourselves in your room for like… ten minutes?" he asks, his voice low and seductive in my ear.
"You know we need more than ten minutes," I murmur as he slides his hand up under my shirt and palms my tit.
"If we're working with ten minutes or no minutes, I'll take what I can get, Bella."
I'm about to say yes, fine, I'll lock the front door, and Alice and Jasper can wait in the hall like the peasants they are while we have quick, raw, sensual sex.
But then the power suddenly goes out.
I sigh into the dark and feel Edward smile against my neck after I say, "Motherfucker."