Disclaimer: It's late, and I own a comfortable bed I want to get in. But I don't own Castle.
Here comes another early update. After this chapter, there is only one more (short) chapter and the (long) epilogue left. I want to have both of them uploaded before 2024, I hope I'll find time for it over the holidays.
There's a lot happening in this chapter, I hope it's not too confusing or hard to read.
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"Alexis!" Kate shouted out in surprise. She quickly took in the girl's face and immediately realized her eyes were red and puffy as if she had just stopped herself from crying. "May I come in?" She asked, and her low and shaky voice confirmed Kate's initial thought. "Of course!" Kate answered without hesitating for a second. She struggled a little to sit up, but the excitement of seeing Alexis overpowered the pain in her shoulder and ribs.
"I'll leave the two of you alone." Captain Gates said, and before closing the door behind Alexis, she added. "We will keep in touch, Detective." Kate smiled at her Captain one last time, and as the door fell shut, she looked over to Alexis. She would take the time to process what had just happened later; now, there were far more important things. Meeting Kate's gaze seemed enough for the young girl to burst into tears again. With long strides, she walked over to Kate's bed and came to a stand a few steps away, seeming unsure how near she was allowed to get.
Her eyes were desperate as she searched for Kate's. "I am so sorry, Kate." She sobbed. "I am so very, very sorry. I acted like a complete idiot." She lowered her gaze and stared down at her feet as her body language nearly screamed for Kate to see how guilty she felt. "Hey," Kate mumbled softly and reached out her hand that wasn't tied to her chest for Alexis, who still stood out of reach. "Come here."
Without looking up, Alexis crossed the little distance to the bed and let Kate wrap her hand around hers. She wanted to say something comforting, but before she could even take a breath to speak, words started to burst out of Alexis's mouth. "I don't know why I let it go this far. I was just so overwhelmed and didn't know what to feel. And I was mad, but not for long, believe me!" She looked back up to Kate, a pleading shimmer in her eyes. "But when I realized I acted silly, I had already pushed you guys away so far, and I didn't know how to revise it. And then the fight with Dad… I didn't want it to go like that! I wanted him to convince me to come home, but then we both got mad, and I couldn't give in, even though I didn't even know why. And then… then… I didn't know what else to do." Kate just looked at the young woman who seemed to lift a heavy weight from her heart as she spoke. She had known Alexis for quite some time now, and never had the young woman looked more like a child to her, vulnerable and insecure. Kate really didn't want to be the reason for Alexis to feel that way. But again, she didn't get a chance to interrupt the words that came flowing from Alexis.
"When Grandma called me and told me what happened, that you are in hospital having surgery… Kate, I am so sorry. I didn't mean any of this to happen. Please don't hate me." Kate just sympathetically smiled at the young woman and caressed her hand with her thumb. She didn't have to think about how to respond. "Alexis, no one hates you. How could anyone ever?" She squeezed the younger woman's hand. "No one is even mad at you at all. We all just wanted to find a way to make all of this work. And we knew it wouldn't be easy. But here you are. Everything's alright." Alexis sniffled and looked down at the sheets as she mumbled, "Dad is mad at me. I'm sure he thinks I ruined this family."
Kate snorted softly. "You don't have any idea how much your father suffered since we last saw you. He is just stubborn as hell, that's all. But I promise you, all of this will be forgotten the second he sees you here." Alexis looked back into Kate's eyes. "You think so?" Kate nodded decisively. "I promise. Otherwise, he'll get into trouble with me. After today, all of us need some peace. And I think we can agree both of you could have saved yourself some grief by reaching out to each other sooner." Alexis nodded softly and still looked not wholly convinced. "I guess a tendency of defiance runs in the family." Kate couldn't stop herself from chuckling. "Oh, don't say that too loud; I really hope it's not genetic!" Alexis joined in with Kate's laughter, and Kate could finally see the young woman relaxing a little.
"So, do you think he would let me come back home? I mean, would it be okay for both of you if I did?" Kate's eyes grew wide in surprise. "Of course! It is your home we are talking about; you can return whenever you want, and everyone would be thrilled to have you back." Kate could see the weight dropping from the girl's shoulders. "Oh, that's good… Because living in a shared apartment is definitely not my thing." Kate raised her eyebrows as Alexis softly shook her head with an absentminded gaze. "So bad?" Alexis closed her eyes for a second as if she was trying to push away unwelcome images from her current living situation. "Worse. Believe me. But I can tell you all about it once you feel better." Kate smiled at her and squeezed her hand once more. "I would love to hear those stories."
Alexis shifted her weight from one leg to the other, and Kate could tell there was more on her mind, but she waited for Alexis to find the right words. "You know, I would really appreciate being a part of this family and being a big sister. I hope I haven't ruined that for myself." Fastening her grasp around the girl's hand, Kate answered, "Nothing has changed since we last talked. This is your family, and it always will be. You will always be a part of it, and we all want you there. And your father the most, believe me." Alexis smiled as Kate's words slowly took down her remaining doubt. "Maybe I should go looking for him then? You should better get some rest anyway."
"Oh, I'll be fine. But yes, look for your Dad; he will be out of his mind to have you back." Kate smiled at the picture in her mind of Castle's face lightening up. "When he's not waiting outside, I would give it a shot and go to Esposito's room. There's a good chance you'll find him there." Alexis nodded and slowly pulled her hand away from Kate's. "Okay, I will try that. And then I'll send him back here." Kate smiled back at the young woman, feeling her heart thousands of times lighter than it had been in weeks. Alexis gave her a little wave and then paused again, looking back at her before she vanished out of the door. "Thank you, Kate." With a little smile, Kate replied, "Nothing to thank me for." She watched Alexis leave and close the door behind her.
Resting her head back into the pillow, that smile spread all over her lips as Kate closed her eyes. Only a few hours ago, her life had been filled with so much worry, fear, and unsolved problems. And now here she was, with a pounding fractured shoulder, aching broken ribs, and still a mountain of thoughts and emotions to process. But even though there was a lot of insecurity lingering about what challenges she might have to face after today, she was happier than she had been in a long time. And on that thought, she slowly let the day's exhaustion drift her back into sleep.
She got torn out of her slumber only a little while later by someone touching her wrist and carefully picking up her hand. Her eyelids fluttered open, and she expected to spot Castle's face, but instead, she was met by her father's warm and familiar eyes. "Dad." She smiled, and he returned it even though his face looked heavy with concern. "Hey, Katie." She had no idea who had called him, but she was glad someone had. "My God, I am so happy you are okay."
Kate chuckled softly, and it caused her shoulder and ribcage to hurt a little more than they had when Alexis had been here, so she figured the medication had probably mostly faded. But her mind felt a lot clearer, too, so she would rather take the pain than return to a dazed state of mind. Still, the stinging pain caused her lips to twitch a little, and her father instantly noticed it. "Are you in pain? Should I call a nurse?"
Kate shook her head as slightly as she could. "No, it's fine. Broken bones hurt. That's how it is." Jim Beckett snorted a little. Yes, this was his daughter, just like he knew her. And he knew well enough that there wasn't any use in starting a discussion. But since he had something much more important to ask her, he didn't mind. He searched for her eyes and squeezed her hand a little.
"Katie, is what the doctor told me true?" His voice was low and a little reluctant. He knew it was true; doctors didn't lie about things like this. And the second he walked into her room and saw the little bump under the hospital sheets, he would have known without the doctor telling him. Still, he needed to hear it from her in person. Kate gave him another smile and gently squeezed his hand back. She had noticed his glance flickering towards her stomach and had no trouble realizing what her father was talking about.
"Yes, Dad, it's true. I wanted to tell you sooner, but when I called you, you didn't pick up, and then all of this started." Jim let out a deep breath and remained silent for a few seconds as he let the information sink in and slowly started to count back the weeks since he had met Richard Castle as his daughter's new boyfriend. His brow furrowed slightly. "And… Is that something you are happy about?" He didn't need to ask her whether it had been a planned pregnancy. Seeing the small but still noticeable bump on Kate's belly, the math he did in his head told him it couldn't be.
But the broad smile on his daughter's face was answer enough. "Yes, Dad, very, very happy." He sighed and pulled her hand up to his lips, placing a soft kiss on the back of her hand. "Oh, that's good." A smile appeared on his face, too. "Well, it seems I'm going to be a grandpa then. To be honest, I didn't expect that to happen anytime soon." Kate let out a little laugh, and Jim started to grin at the sound. "Me neither, believe me. But now I can't wait until February."
"I know what you mean. Your mother and I have been crossing off every day in excitement when we were having you." At the mention of his wife, Jim's smile faded a little. "Gosh, she would have loved to be here." He whispered. Looking at the sad expression on his face, Kate briefly considered telling her father about her encounter with her mother, which sounded more like what it felt like than 'dream'. But she didn't. It felt too private, too precious to say it out loud. She feared that if she told anyone about it, it could lose the feeling of realness it had. No, she wanted to savor it as a memory only for herself. Something she could turn to when she would need to. Because she knew those times would come.
So, instead, she simply squeezed his hand once more and whispered, "I know." Both of them remained quiet for a few moments, then Jim broke the sad silence they had experienced countless times before. It wasn't good for either of them, especially not if there was something else to be more than happy about. He found his smile again and looked at his daughter, who still seemed to be a little caught up in her thoughts.
"Well, it seems like I will have to lead a serious conversation with Mr. Castle soon." Kate looked back up at him and grinned. "Oh, just give him a little time, okay? He's been through enough today." Her voice a little lower and softer, she added, "He's a good guy, Dad; we are in good hands." Jim smiled at her and pulled his hand away from hers to brush a thumb over her cheek carefully. Looking at her, he found it hard to believe that this was his little daughter, his baby, who was now having one of her own. "That's all I need to know, Katie."
Kate smiled up at her father and whispered, "But that doesn't mean it wouldn't be funny to see you scare him a little bit." Jim let out a loud laugh and let his hand sink. "I'd love to." Reaching out again and gently stroking her arm, he said, "I'm going to let you rest now. Call me, okay?" Kate nodded and watched her father head towards the door. "Oh, and tell Rick my congratulations too." Kate smiled at him, using Castle's first name. "I will."
As soon as Captain Gates had thrown Castle and Ryan out of Kate's room, Ryan led Castle down the hallway of the patient's rooms. Looking at the numbers next to the doors, he slowed down his steps and came to a stand. Castle looked at Ryan and quietly asked, "Would you mind to give me a moment?" Ryan nodded. "Sure."
Castle turned the doorknob and slowly peeked into the room to see if Esposito was awake. "Hey, Castle." The other man greeted him immediately. His voice sounded weaker than he knew it, and he looked terrible. Pale, exhausted, and almost his whole upper body covered in bandages, a blood strain shimmering on the white fabric on the right side of his chest. Castle swallowed at the view. "Seems like there are congratulations in order. I would have never expected you'd be able to keep it a secret if you ever got things going with Beckett. And then knocking her up without any of us noticing for months, I have to take a bow." Well, at least he didn't lose his humor, Castle thought to himself.
He walked up to his bed, and Esposito's eyes followed him, looking up to his face. Castle's expression clearly showed him his joke didn't manage to lighten the mood. "Did I cross a line? I'm sorry." Castle shook his head, trying to find his voice again.
"You saved her life." He stated. Esposito smirked slightly and tilted his head. "Well, that's my job. Did nothing anyone on the team wouldn't have." Shaking his head again, Castle answered, "Doesn't matter. You took that hit for her; if you hadn't, she would probably not be here anymore. You risked your life to save hers." Esposito looked down at the sheets of his bed. "Must have been good for something. Now we are all here, and from what I've heard, we'll be getting a new team
member soon." Looking back up, the smirk briefly returned to his lips, but his features turned serious again. "Listen, Castle, if you had told me she's pregnant, I wouldn't have let her come along. It's my fault we even went there in the first place. I encouraged her to let us go, knowing she wouldn't stay behind."
Castle firmly shook his head. "The last person who has to blame himself for anything in this situation is you. If it weren't for you, she probably wouldn't be here anymore. You saved her and my child. And there is nothing I could ever do even to begin to thank you for that." Esposito looked at him, his expression softening with a sincere smile. "No need to thank me, Castle. For me, she's like family, too."
Finally, Castle could bring himself to smile a little, too. "Well, then, I would like to ask you a question." Not being able to let the opportunity slip, Esposito answered, "You're not going to propose now, are you? Because I really don't want a hormonal Beckett coming after me." A little laugh escaped Castle's throat. "No, definitely not; you're not my type, I'm sorry." These few moments of joking around felt like better medicine to Castle than any painkiller had that day.
"Why not? I figured you are into dark hair?" Esposito retorted with a wiggle of his brow. Castle chuckled once more but then returned to a more serious demeanor. "I would like to ask you if you wanted to be the Godfather of our child." Esposito stared at him. For once unable to find a cocky comeback. "Are you serious?" He mumbled. Castle nodded firmly.
"You saved its life before it's even born; I think you earned that spot. Of course, only if you want it." Instantly, Esposito started nodding his head. "Of course! I would be honored." Smiling how sincerely touched Esposito seemed, Castle answered, "No, we are the ones to be honored." Smiling at each other, Castle reached out his hand, and Esposito took it, shaking it more firmly than Castle would've expected he'd be able to, seeing his weakened appearance.
"I'm gonna head back to Kate now," Castle said, letting go of the other man's hand. Esposito chuckled softly. "Man, it sounds strange hearing you call her Kate." Castle headed for the door and said, "Better get used to it." Before he left, he turned around once more and faced Esposito again. "Once again, I can't say how grateful I am for what you did." And instead of saying anything, Esposito simply acknowledged his gratitude with a firm nod. "Castle." He stopped him with a bit of hesitance in his tone just before he slipped through the door. "I know the time probably isn't right, but I should talk to Beckett; I think I have some information she would be interested in." Castle furrowed his brow and looked to the ground. "What kind?" He asked, even though he knew it had to be about Maddox and what happened at his house. "The explosion," Esposito answered in a low voice as if he feared someone could hear him. Castle remembered what Kate had promised him not even thirty minutes ago. A lump formed in his throat at the realization that the first time this promise would be tested seemed to have already come.
"I'll tell her you want to talk to her, okay?" There was no way to keep the information from her Esposito could provide. He would let her decide if she wanted to hear it and hope this time she would be able to resist the temptation it brought. Esposito offered him a soft nod, the concern written on Castle's face telling him he would have to sort this out with Beckett.
Castle stepped out of the room and back out into the hallway. When he looked up, he was met by a sight that stopped him in his tracks. He spotted Ryan, and next to him, like a vision, stood his daughter. His jaw dropped, and before his mind had time to process the situation and say anything, she looked at him and ran the short distance to him. She crashed into his arms, and like he had done billions of times before, he instinctively wrapped his arms around his little girl and pressed her to his chest. He just held her for a full minute and felt her body shaking slightly as she sobbed against his shoulder.
"You're here." He whispered into her hair, briefly closing his eyes and inhaling her scent to make sure his tired mind wasn't playing a trick on him. "Dad, I'm so sorry. I'm so glad you are okay. I'm so sorry." She whispered, still firmly holding onto him. Without hesitation, he answered. "It's okay. It's all okay. You're here." He tenderly brushed his hand over the back of her head.
Finally, she pulled away far enough to look at her father. Her eyes red and cheeks damp with tears, she asked, "You're not mad at me?" He shook his head. Had someone asked him this morning, he would have said yes, he had been mad at her somehow. But the events of this day were proof that life was too short to be angry at the ones you loved. In relief, a few more tears spilled from the corner of her eyes, and he started to wipe them away like it had been his job for nearly eighteen years now.
"I have talked to Kate." Alexis sniffled. "She said I could come home. Dad, can I please come home?" Her voice was pleading and close to cracking. As tears shot to his eyes, too, he pulled her back against her chest and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Just tell me where to get your stuff."
After talking for a couple more minutes, Alexis headed back to the loft to talk to Martha, who was probably worried sick by now and waiting for somebody to call her with some news. Ryan had taken back his spot beside his partner's bed, and after tightly hugging his daughter goodbye with a feeling as light as it hadn't been in weeks, Castle finally started walking back towards Kate's room. He was just a few doors away when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket.
Coming to a stand, he pulled it out and looked at the screen that lit up with the words 'Unknown caller'. Immediately, a cold feeling crept up his neck, and the easy feeling vanished. He didn't need to pick up to know who was calling him. He hadn't heard from him in months and had hoped he would never have to again. But after what happened today, he knew it would only be a matter of time. With his palms growing sweaty, he pressed the green button on the screen and led the phone to his ear. "Hello?" He said, trying to make his voice sound steady. In the short pause before the voice at the other end of the line started talking, he could hear his heart throbbing in his ears.
"That was a close call, Mr. Castle. I thought I had clarified what kind of arrangement I could offer you. You and Ms. Beckett definitely crossed the lines of this arrangement this morning." Hearing this voice again sent shivers down Castle's spine, and he felt his mouth almost too dry to speak. "Just tell me what it means for her, Smith." The other end of the call remained silent for a few seconds. "The best way to say it is that you've been very lucky, Mr. Castle."
"What do you mean?" Castle answered sharply. "Well, in the first place, by the fact that Mr. Maddox wasn't the only one who put surveillance over his brother's house in case someone would at any point be able to connect the dots between them. The moment he knew you were coming for him, I did, too. Second thing, the bomb he had there waiting for you or anyone who would come too close didn't quite do the job. If the detonation had gone as he had planned, that house would've been down to ashes in a matter of seconds. Maybe he should have checked his choice of a security system once more instead of writing the pretentious letter to explain how he would manage to take Ms. Beckett out for good."
"You were there? When?" Castle interrupted him. "At the same time as you, Mr. Castle. While you were waiting for the paramedics, I made sure to get rid of this letter connecting Maddox to Ms. Beckett. It surely wasn't in her interest for it to get in the hands of the police or Maddox's people." Castle tried to breathe through the iron fist that had seemed to have wrapped itself around his chest. "So they were there too?" For the first time, he didn't feel any interest in asking who they were. All he wanted to know was how close they were to Kate.
A dry chuckle rang from the other end of the line. "Of course. But I did my job thoroughly. Every proof of you being at Maddox's house today is gone, including Mr. Maddox and his brother." The air got caught in Castle's windpipe. "You killed Maddox?" He asked breathlessly. Smith answered in a cold and calculating tone. "Just in time before he could reach out to his superior. What leaves them with nothing more than a strong suspicion Ms. Beckett is back on their tracks again. Just not quite strong enough to break the deal I have with them. But I warn you, Mr. Castle, I refuse to step in like this again."
Castle's mind started spinning, trying to process what he had just been told. "Does that mean… Is she still safe?" A few moments of torturing silence followed. "For now, yes. But this is the very last chance I am able to give her. Do you understand me?" Smith's voice fell quiet once more for a moment. "From what I have witnessed at the scene of Maddox's house, your influence on Ms. Beckett might be a bit stronger now than it was when we last talked. You should put that to use, Mr. Castle, if not for her, then for the child she is carrying." Castle tried to put the certainty he had felt earlier when Kate had made her promise to him into his words. "She said she will let it rest."
"Then I hope she means it this time because this is the last you will hear from me, and this is the last thing I do for her. The favors I owe Roy Montgomery have been used up for a long time." Clearing his throat, even though there was nothing but dryness, Castle answered, "I understand." The line cracked, and a fast beeping replaced the voice he had known as Mr. Smith. Castle let the phone sink and stood there, lost in the hospital hallway. Very slowly, his mind started to wrap around the information he had just received. One thing stood out from it, shining bright as daylight. She was safe. As long as she stopped following her mother's case, she was still safe. That was so much more than he could have hoped for. He let himself fall onto one of the uncomfortable chairs in the hallway and ran his hand over his face and through his hair. The anxiety that had felt like it was draining the last bits of energy from his body slowly started to ease.
He thought of his talk with her; he believed her that the fear of losing their child had been enough to finally withdraw her from the danger she was getting herself into every time she touched her mother's case. For a second, he considered keeping the talk he had just had with Smith to himself. Just in case there would ever come a day when she got tempted again. So he would have something to tell her then, something to scare her away.
But he shrugged that thought off right after it had appeared to him. They were past this. Past the secrets and the lies and the try of always having one more card to play in case things got serious. No, they were in this together, in all of this. There was no room for anything else than the truth. He slipped the phone back into his pocket, took a deep breath, and headed towards Kate's room.