Yoichi Shigaraki had been living with the vigilantes who had rescued him for months now. He'd learned how to eat with chopsticks. His language skills had doubled or even tripled. He'd discovered the joy of haircare and baths. He'd read every book in the library containing heroes. He knew how to assemble a gun, load it, and shoot clean through the heart of a target, human or animal.
But sometimes his heroes still treated him like a child. It wasn't fair. Because of his unusual upbringing on the streets with no parents, he didn't know as much as other people. That didn't make him stupid. They were both very gentle with him, always making sure to ask him what he wanted to do and leery of invading his personal space. At first, he'd appreciated it. Now it was getting in the way of his very important goal to make passionate love to both of them.
Yoichi had always loved heroes. Captain Hero had been his first crush. He adored his real-life heroes even more. Kaiji Kudou, with his red spiky hair and smoldering crimson eyes, had muscles to die for. He was gruff yet easily embarrassed, becoming putty in Yoichi's hands when he used the puppy eyes. In a crisis, Kudou would take charge immediately. Yoichi would like Kudou to take charge of him in a different way.
Sanzou Bruce had blue hair so soft Yoichi wanted to run his fingers through it, and muscles as hard as rocks. He always seemed calm no matter the circumstances. Except for that one time Yoichi had eaten a squirrel raw, but now they laughed about it together. Bruce had since explained about the dangers of raw meat. They'd reached an agreement: Yoichi brought back his kills to be properly dressed and Bruce cooked the meat. Bruce always looked after everyone else before himself. He was very serious, but Yoichi loved to ruffle him, and loved even more when he could coax out a smile.
Kudou and Bruce were lovers, as Yoichi had found out that one very awkward time when the door had been locked but they hadn't locked their bedroom window. Although Yoichi would never admit it, he might have looked at the two of them a bit longer than necessary before turning away as they scrambled for their clothing. That sight had haunted Yoichi's dreams every night since. After he'd read a book about a triad, he'd wondered, why not him too?
Although he'd die before admitting it even to himself, Yoichi had exactly one thing in common with his brother: if he wanted something, then he went after it. Therefore, he did some research on seduction and began his campaign.
Wandering into the kitchen, Yoichi said loudly, "I'm hungry."
Bruce was reading a book as he kept an eye on a pot of soup. "Dinner will be ready in half an hour."
"I need a snack." Yoichi went to the freezer and took out a popsicle. Licking it, he made enthusiastic, drawn out "Mmmmmmmmmmmms."
Bruce's eyes snapped over. Smirking, Yoichi licked a drop of his wrist.
Bruce only said, "Don't chew with your mouth open. It makes you loud."
"I'm not chewing," Yoichi complained. Disheartened, he ate the rest quickly and tossed the empty stick.
Kudou poked his head into the kitchen. "Whatever you're cooking, it smells delicious."
"Is it just me or is it hot in here?" Yoichi lifted up the bottom of his shirt and used it to fan his face. Kudou's jaw dropped. Success! Yoichi started to lift his shirt over his head.
Bruce ran over and pulled down his shirt. "Yoichi, you might not be aware, but we undress in our bedrooms, not in the kitchen."
Might not be aware? That was hideously patronizing, Yoichi knew exactly what he'd been doing: showing off his hot abs. Yet he was being treated like a child again. He'd like to talk to sexy Sanzou, not mom Bruce.
What if it was all Yoichi's own fault? What if his seduction skills learned from trashy romance novels were pathetically inadequate? What if his poor socialization had doomed him to a life of celibacy? What if his heroes thought he'd looked silly? Did they find him repulsive after the squirrel incident?
"No need to have a stick up your ass," Yoichi muttered, hanging his head and slouching out of the room. Kudou had taught him how to swear, although Bruce had not been pleased.
A look passed between Kudou and Bruce. Ugh, Yoichi hated it when they exchanged looks behind his back. Even a child would have noticed, they weren't as subtle as they believed. Bruce called after him, "Sorry, I didn't mean to nag."
Yoichi did not reply. He slammed his door, then threw himself on his bed and tried very hard not to cry. The walls were thin. Yoichi would know…because thin walls were the cause of his massive amounts of sexual tension at night and sore right hand.
After some sulking, Yoichi decided he just needed to come up with a new strategy and try again. Captain Hero wouldn't have given up after one defeat. In the romance movies and books, no one ever succeeded with their love interest in the first half of the story.
Yoichi headed for the bathroom, planning to splash some water on his face. He walked quietly out of habit, not deliberate intention. Still, when he heard voices coming from Bruce and Kudou's bedroom, he stopped to eavesdrop.
Kudou said, "Sanzou, you know he hates being treated like a child. His damn brother did enough of that to him."
They were talking about him? Yoichi's ears pricked up. He told himself this wasn't spying, it was gathering intel for his seduction campaign.
Bruce sighed deeply. "I know. I overcompensated. I was about to lose my sanity over him and that popsicle."
"He's doing it on-purpose," Kudou said.
"You can't be sure. Yoichi is very inexperienced."
"Did you see that little smirk? He's doing it on-purpose."
Bruce sighed again. "We've talked about this. We can't respond to his advances."
"I know." Kudou sounded glum. "I'm not a douchebag. We can't take advantage of him. Yoichi has barely been outside a bank vault, thanks to that shitty brother of his. He has nowhere else to go. He's entirely dependent on us. It wouldn't be right. But it's hard to reject him, when I like him so much."
Yoichi's hand went up to cover his mouth. His hero liked him?
"I feel the same way," Bruce said. "It's a bitter combination of guilt and disappointment. If things were different, then we could invite him to join us. But things aren't different. We have a responsibility toward Yoichi." His tone turned fond. "After all, he calls us heroes."
Kudou chuckled. "We have to live up to our title."
It seemed like the conversation was over or nearly over, so Yoichi slipped away before they could catch him.
He did not know how to feel. His heroes were attracted to him too? Score! But they had resolved never to act on their feelings? Bummer! Ugh, why had he gotten stuck in the slow burn type of romance novel?
Yoichi could sort of understand how they felt. When he'd first arrived at their hideout, he'd been in bad shape both physically and mentally. Everything he knew about romance came from his brother, who'd told him that if anyone ever touched him, he should kick them in the crotch. (A vulnerable point for women too, apparently.)
But now Yoichi felt strong, self-sufficient, and ready. He resented being told that he wasn't well enough for what he wanted. If his heroes hadn't desired him back, that would be fine. He'd braced himself for possible rejection. But it hurt to be patronized and treated like a child, because big brother had always smothered him in the same way. What gave Kudou and Bruce the right to decide what Yoichi was ready for? Fine, they had a point about him being dependent, but what could he do about it? In their current status hiding from All for One, Yoichi couldn't get a job. If they set impossible-to-meet-requirements for him, then he'd die a virgin, just like his stupid brother had always wanted.
They were all stuck in this isolated cabin in the woods together. None of them had anywhere to go. Didn't that make them equals? They were all going to depend on each other if and when All for One attacked. Yoichi did not consider himself the weakest of the group. True, he used to be sickly, but his health had improved drastically since his release from the vault. He used his inhaler only infrequently. More importantly, Yoichi had a killer instinct the other two lacked, born of his time on the streets surrounded by adults who'd wanted him dead and a twin brother prone to using violence to enforce his will. Yoichi had grown up fighting All for One. Yes, he'd usually lost, but he'd learned to be crafty and use an opponent's greater strength against him. If it came down to a fight, Yoichi believed he could take either Kudou or Bruce in single combat. He could take both of them if he had the advantage of surprise.
Perhaps it would be best not to tell them that. Yoichi should be more diplomatic. For example, he could ask the two heroes to save him from dying of sexual frustration.
That seemed like an excellent argument to Yoichi. He took a couple days to figure out what to say and how to phrase his argument without admitting he'd eavesdropped. Then the world decided to prove his point about an attack in a much more graphic fashion.
As it turned out, All for One wasn't the first to find them.
On a bright, sunny day, the three of them had gone on a picnic lunch by the lake. Kudou sat on the blanket, munching on a sandwich. Yoichi and Bruce were feeding the ducks.
The ducks scattered, and Yoichi's head shot up, seeking the source of the danger.
Half a dozen men carrying hunting rifles gazed at them. Yoichi's shoulders relaxed. This was a danger to the ducks, not to humans. Hunting had become more common in Japan out of necessity since the food shortages due to the riots. He could tell these men were inexperienced by how they held their guns. They looked pale and wide-eyed. Yoichi felt sympathy for pitiful hunters scared even of ducks. He waved. "Hello! We can share our food. Or would you like us to tell you where to find better game?"
"Metahumans!" one man screamed, and his rifle came up.
Not scared of the ducks, then. In the privacy of the forest, none of the trio had tried to cover their unusual hair colors.
At moments like these, time moved in slow motion for Yoichi. It came from years surviving on the streets. The gun fired. He calculated the trajectory of the bullet, then crouched. He knew the bullet would go over his head. This gave him time to reach for the knife strapped to his ankle sheath.
"Get down!" Bruce screamed, then threw himself on top of Yoichi.
As Yoichi lost his balance, he lost his grip on the knife. The heavy weight of Bruce's body pushed him into the dirt, unable to move. Bruce screamed, and blood dripped down from his shoulder onto Yoichi's face. But Yoichi couldn't move with the heavy weight on top of him. Bruce had gone worryingly still. Yoichi clung to his sanity with his fingernails. Despite having many greater concerns, he felt a sudden intense bitterness that he might be about to die a virgin.
Kudou screamed a long string of curses as he returned fire. Fortunately, Kudou brought his guns everywhere. They were practically his pets.
Inexperienced or not, the enemy had greater numbers. Yoichi fought his way out from under Bruce's more muscular body—just in time to see Kudou collapse with a bullet in the arm. His head hit the ground with a sickening crack.
Yoichi's world went white. HOW DARE THEY? Both of his heroes had been harmed, and he would have blood to pay for blood.
Three of the hunters clustered close together, protecting three injured ones. Kudou had hit their arms and legs only, the sentimental idiot. Yoichi would not be so kind.
Drawing his knife, Yoichi lunched forward. A strange energy bubbled up inside of him, responding to his fury. Green crackled down his arm. An unnatural strength filled him.
Ironically, the sudden awakening of his power saved a hunter's life. Yoichi had been aiming to slit the man's throat, but his extra power made his arm move a bit too fast. Instead, his blow sliced through a shoulder like butter. The man fell screaming.
Yoichi had no time to finish off his prey, because two more men had guns. He sliced one in the stomach, then pivoted and grabbed the last man by the throat. "Stop or I'll bite him and turn him into a metahuman too!" Of course, this would not work, but he'd personally experienced the paranoia of bigots before. The hate groups believed metapowers to be contagious.
Even the wailing of the injured stopped. A strange silence fell over the lake. The hunters had frozen, gazing up at him with terrified eyes. The hostage cried, "No, please! Don't let him turn me into one of them!"
Yoichi could have killed them all, especially with them stupidly frozen, but he didn't have time. His heroes came first. Wild hair fell over his face, his eyes glowed green, and he bared his teeth. He growled, "Drop your weapons and run. If you stop moving, I'll kill you."
They believed him. Gathering those too wounded to walk, they fled into the forest. Yoichi tossed his hostage after them. That man ran the fastest of all.
Yoichi didn't understand exactly what had happened back there. He'd used his new metapower, maybe? Perhaps it had finally stockpiled enough? It didn't matter. Kudou and Bruce were more important.
Kudou was still moaning. Bruce made no sound. So Yoichi went to Bruce first. Panic beat a steady rhythm through his veins. He had no idea how to treat a gunshot wound. He'd never even taken a first aid class. His own body had been unusual since birth, leaving him with even less of an idea what might kill someone else.
Yoichi rolled Bruce over to look at the injury in his shoulder. Damn, that was a lot of blood. Yoichi had a vague idea he should get the bullet out. But he didn't know how. Poking around in the wound seemed like a very bad idea. Yoichi ripped off his shirt and wrapped it around Bruce's shoulder as a makeshift bandage.
Kudou needed help, too. Yoichi ran over. "I'm okay," Kudou muttered, reaching for his gun. "Just a scratch. Hit my…stupid head on the ground…"
"It's over, I chased them off." Yoichi yanked the picnic blanket out from under the food, then used it as a bandage on his hero's arm.
Kudou made soft sounds of pain, then slowly sat up. "Yoichi, are there two of you or is All for One standing next to you?" He went for his gun again.
"Just me." Yoichi shoved the gun away, not wanting to be shot by someone hallucinating his evil twin. "Stop trying to move."
Kudou fell back over.
Shit, shit, shit. Yoichi needed the medical kit back in the cabin. He was scared to move his heroes, but he also couldn't leave them here because the hunters might return.
Yoichi lifted Bruce up onto his back. He nudged Kudou with his foot. "My hero, please. I know I'm asking a lot of you. But I can't carry both of you. I need you to get up. Please. For me."
Kudou cried, "I'll kill that bastard All for One before I let him take you!" Then his eyes rolled backward. He was out cold.
Crap. Yoichi had no choice but to leave and come back for Kudou. But how could he abandon the person who'd saved him from the vault?
Yoichi's desperation activated his power again. Green light covered his vision. Suddenly, he felt as strong as Captain Hero. Yoichi scooped up Kudou in a bridal carry. Then he ran, carrying both men back to the cabin.
Bruce would freak about blood on his sheets. But Yoichi would be happy to face such problems later, if only Bruce would live. Yoichi placed both his heroes down on their bed. Then he ran for the med kit.
Fortunately they had a top-notch first aid kit, stolen from the military. Yoichi cleaned Bruce's injury. "Thanks for teaching me about infections and removing dirt, Sanzou. You might have saved your own life." Yoichi spoke aloud as he worked, a desperate attempt to distract himself from his horror. When he accidentally grabbed the bullet, he breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay, that answers that unsolved problem. Oh my god, you're bleeding too much. Gotta close you up." He dressed the injury, then bandaged it tightly.
Next, Yoichi turned to poor Kudou, neglected too long. Once again, he cleaned and dressed the injury. Kudou had a hole in the back of his arm, so Yoichi thought (hoped) the bullet had gone clean through. He didn't see it, anyway. He used a funny white thing from the kit to plug the hole. Kudou's injury on his right bicep looked a lot less serious compared to Bruce's. Of course, a bullet wound was always serious. "Come on, Kaiji, you're tough, I know you've shaken off worse," Yoichi muttered. "It's the head injury, isn't it? I thought you had a tougher head than this! Sanzou always says you have a skull thicker than the earth's crust." It bothered him that Kudou did not reply, even to moan.
Blood was leaking through Bruce's bandage. Yoichi climbed on the bed and pressed his knee on top of Bruce's wound. Anything to apply as much pressure as possible and stop the bleeding. He joked, "I've always wanted you underneath me and looking directly at my crotch, but I'd hoped for more sexy conditions." His joke fell flat even to himself. There was nothing funny about this situation. His head felt light. But he could not afford to collapse. His heroes were counting on him. They'd done so much for him. He had to save them.
While applying pressure, Yoichi googled on his phone. Apparently bullets didn't always need to be removed so he decided not to fret about it. Stop the bleeding? He was already doing that. Based on the instructions, he moved Kudou into recovery position: on his side with the top leg bent at a right angle. It was a bit harder to maneuver Bruce and still apply pressure. Yoichi checked their pulses and breathing. Steady so far, even for Bruce. "That's my tough hero," Yoichi murmured, caressing Bruce's cheek. Stiches were not always recommended. Since Yoichi had no idea how to stich up an injury, he decided to just keep applying pressure.
Kudou probably had a concussion. The internet said you should periodically wake up people with concussions. "Hey!" Yoichi shouted, slapping Kudou's cheek. His hero was unresponsive. "All for One is here to kidnap me!"
"All for One!" Kudou sat up with a snort.
"Just kidding. Have a Tylenol." Yoichi coaxed Kudou to take the pill with water. Then Kudou collapsed again. Apparently someone with a concussion shouldn't have aspirin because there might be internal bleeding. Yoichi didn't understand why, but he had to trust the random internet commentor he'd found a thread about concussions. Most of the official advice kept telling him to take the victims to a hospital. That was completely useless. "Not everyone has access to a hospital, Dr. Whatever," Yoichi muttered through clenched teeth as he scrolled on his phone.
When Yoichi felt himself losing his strength to keep applying pressure, he sealed his heroes' wounds with duct tape. Then he collapsed on their giant bed next to them.
Yoichi dreamed that his heroes bled to death as he lay beside them, unable to move. Their anguished eyes destroyed him. He woke up screaming.
"Is All for One attacking?" Kudou sat up.
"Sorry, I had a bad dream." Yoichi shoved hair out of his eyes. Sometimes his hair got everywhere, it could be annoyed, but he'd never let anyone cut it short. "How are you feeling?"
"Gotta get my gun," Kudou mumbled, groping around his bed.
"Nope, you might shoot me thinking that I'm my brother." Yoichi grabbed Kudou's hands.
"Gotta go to the bathroom," Kudou said, blinking owlishly. "Now."
Yoichi paled. "Don't you dare in the bed! Sanzou would murder both of us." He ran to fetch a bowl to use as a bedpan.
Helping Kudou was incredibly awkward. Yoichi had wanted to see his hero with his pants down, but his romantic fantasies had been nothing like this. He got it over with as quickly as possible, then tucked Kudou into bed.
Next, Yoichi went to check on Bruce. Not only was Bruce's pulse still steady, he mumbled a little in his sleep, which Yoichi took as a good sign. Leaning closer, he listened. Bruce mumbled, "Yoichi…okay?"
Feeling a surge of affection, Yoichi smoothed back the blue hair. "I'm okay. You protected me, even though you shouldn't have. We'll talk about that later. For now, just rest."
Although already exhausted, Yoichi went to the kitchen to make a meal for his heroes.
First Yoichi fed soup to Kudou, then Bruce. Kudou was semi-conscious, and he kept calling Yoichi pretty and asking if he was roleplaying a nurse. Bruce woke up long enough to drink a few spoonfuls, then collapsed again.
Yoichi felt strange about feeding a mostly unconscious person, because it reminded him of his brother trying to feed him in the vault. The feeling was intensely creepy. The memories all came rushing back, vivid and painful. His hands shook so badly he spilled part of the soup. Bruce was going to be so pissed about his favorite comforter. Oh well, the blood had already rendered it a lost cause.
This made Yoichi realize that he should try to change his heroes into slightly more comfortable and less bloody clothing. The current clothing was a loss, so he cut it off. He swapped out their clothing for pajamas bottoms, not bothering with shirts for fear of jostling their injuries. He lifted each unresponsive limb carefully. (Blurry memories came back to him, that time his brother had forced him into a cuddle in the vault. He bit his lip to keep from screaming.) The sheets would be too hard to change, but he could at least swap in a new comforter.
Yoichi didn't feel comfortable doing any of this, not after his too-recent and scarring experiences being on the receiving end of his brother's caretaking. He was terrified he'd mess it up, that it would turn out he didn't know some basic medical knowledge everyone else with a normal childhood did. Except it didn't matter if he felt comfortable or not. There was no one else. So he had to do it.
Just as Yoichi finished taping up Bruce's wound again, Kudou sat up. Looking around, he asked, "Yoichi? What happened?"
"You got shot. Do you remember?" Yoichi swallowed. "You're safe now. I scared off the hunters."
"Damn, good job. How'd I get back here?"
"I carried you."
"Sanzou!" Kudou's eyes widened. He leapt over and examined his boyfriend. "Oooo, no, that looks nasty." He pressed an ear over Bruce's lips. "Still breathing strong, you tough bastard. Good for you." He looked up. "You did an amazing job dressing his injury. Did you have training?"
Yoichi flushed. "Oh, no, I just looked up what I could on the internet."
"Amazing," Kudou repeated. Then he winced. "Painkillers?"
"I'll bring more Tylenol." Yoichi ran off, then returned.
After taking the pills, Kudou poked his own shoulder. "Did you find both the exit and entry wound, and plug it?"
"Yes," Yoichi said nervously. "There was this white thing in the kit. I used that to plug the hole, it looked absorptive." He'd discarded the wrapper on the floor. Now he picked it up and showed it.
Kudou's ears tinged pink. "That's tampon. You stuck a tampon in my arm."
"Did I do something wrong?" Yoichi asked anxiously.
"No, they're great for absorbing blood. It's just…a tampon…" Kudou broke down in semi-hysterical laughter.
Yoichi twisted his hands, unable to get the joke. He had no idea what a tampon was.
The next few days were rough. Yoichi had never been so tired after constantly tending to injuries, changing clothing, emptying bedpans, making meals, and worrying. A couple times, Yoichi accidentally broke something with his enhanced strength. Under any other circumstances, he'd be eager to explore his new power, but right now, he felt bone deep exhausted all the time.
When Bruce sat up and said, "I don't feel dead," Yoichi nearly wept from relief.
"Sanzou!" Kudou grabbed his boyfriend's face. "How are you feeling?"
"Like hell," Bruce admitted. He reached over and squeezed Yoichi's hand. "You did a great job looking after us. I remember flashes. Thank you."
"It's the least I owe you." Yoichi flushed. "Thank you for saving me from the hunter."
Kudou shook his head. "No, no, don't lie to him. I know you mean well, but he's gotta know the truth, or he might make the same mistake again."
"We could talk about it later," Yoichi said anxiously, afraid to aggravate Bruce's injuries.
"Now," Kudou said firmly. He turned to Bruce. "Yoichi was already dodging that bullet when you shoved him down and got hit. He was reaching for his throwing knife too, and you got in his way. You'd have noticed like me, if you saw him as a fellow warrior and not a civilian. You screwed up because you underestimated him."
Bruce looked at Yoichi. Flushing, Yoichi nodded. Bruce winced. "Shit." The uncharacteristic curse startled both other men. Bruce continued, "I'm sorry, Yoichi. I could have gotten all of us killed by getting in your way."
"Does this mean you'll stop thinking I'm too dumb to date?" Yoichi blurted out. Then he regretted it, seeing the stunned looks on their faces.
"You heard?" Bruce flinched.
Kudou said, "We never thought you were stupid. You saved both of our asses from those bigots, you're damn brilliant. We were worried because you're dependent on us, and you've been taken advantage of enough by that shithead brother of yours."
Since it was all out in the open, Yoichi decided to be honest. "Yes, I overheard your conversation. And you two clearly know that I want you both. If you turn me down me, fine. We can still be friends. But I'm not okay with being rejected because you think I can't consent. That's patronizing. I'm a grown man the same age as you. I've fended for myself longer than you. I'm not weak or helpless. I hate being treated as a weakling. All for One always told me I was too weak to be independent. It hurts that you agree with him."
Kudou winced. "I never saw it that way. We didn't want to be like your brother, we wanted to make sure we didn't hurt you."
Bruce sighed deeply. "I was overprotective. Now that I've been shot through the shoulder because of my own stupidity, I can't deny it. I thought it would be better to err on the side of caution when it came to protecting you, but now I can see that underestimating you has its own negative consequences. Please try to understand, when you first came here and we had to teach you everything, I still do think it would have been wrong to make a move on you. But now you've clearly grown faster than I acknowledged. Treating you as a child nearly got you killed. You figured out emergency medical care on your own, and did as good a job or better than either of us could. You're a genius, Yoichi. I don't know how to express how amazed and impressed I feel about you."
"But am I handsome? I was hoping you liked me for more than my mind." Yoichi felt like he was so close, he couldn't stop here. "I trust you and want you. Trust me to know my own mind."
Bruce coughed and looked away, how he always showed embarrassment. "Yes, you're handsome. You drive me crazy with how insanely attractive you are."
"Whoa," Yoichi said, very pleased with his first compliment to his appearance.
"You're beautiful," Kudou said. "We're both in love with you. It's too soon to say it, but I'll go ahead and admit it. We can barely hold ourselves back around you."
"You mean…?" Yoichi asked hopefully.
"Yes. As soon as I can get out of this bed, I'll take you to bed." Kudou winked.
"Is this one of those metaphors?" Yoichi wrinkled his nose, trying to figure out what it meant. They were already in the same bed.
"It means sex," Kudou said.
"Yay!" Yoichi cheered, pumping his fist in the air.
Bruce buried his face in his hands. "Kaiji, love, must you be so crude?"
Kudou coughed. "Oops, not sex, I meant beautiful and pure lovemaking."
Yoichi insisted, "But the type of love that involves physically showing it, to be clear. I almost died a virgin. Never again."
Kudou laughed, then Bruce started laughing too, and then they were all laughing from sheer joy to be alive and in love. Yoichi couldn't wait for his heroes to recover enough for what he wanted to do to them. (He did have to wait, though. And it was worth it.)
OMAKE TIME!
Yoichi: I feel like by trying to "protect" me, you're condemning me to a life of forced celibacy just like my brother.
Third: It's not the same.
All for One: No one can have my brother's precious virginity. I can't let anyone taint my possessions.
Third: Yikes, I see your point. Fine, let's spite All for One together.
#
Third: We should have a long conversation about polyamorous relationship boundaries.
Yoichi: Say what?
Third: We're polyamorous, didn't you know that when you first started flirting with us?
Yoichi: I don't know what that word means. I just figured if you like someone, you offer to sleep with them.
Third: This is exactly why I worry about you.
Yoichi: People in my books just seem to stumble into relationships. And pretty much everyone in my books who says they're having casual sex is actually in love. Whereas people who start a romance story already with a partner usually break up. I figured communication was a mythological concept like demon kings.
Second: You're just lucky that you were so amazingly unsubtle that it was obvious you wanted both of us as opposed to being a cheater.
#
Third: Yoichi deserves a long courtship and romantic dates.
Yoichi: That sounds lovely but we also need to have sex. I have a quirk to pass along.
Second: Dibs!
#
Yoichi: I learned my subtle seduction techniques from romance novels and anime.
Third: You thought you were being subtle? I don't want to know what you would consider unsubtle.
Yoichi: Well, my yaoi manga and anime taught me that true love is chaining someone to your bed. However I hated my brother's possessive form of love so I wouldn't do that…without consent.
Third: I said I DON'T want to know.
Second: Go on, I'm intrigued.
#
Third: If we're starting a new relationship then we need to be cautious about the power imbalance.
Yoichi: I understand your concern. Yes, I could easily kill you with both hands tied behind my back using only my teeth. However, I would never harm you. There's nothing to fear.
Third: …I perceived the power imbalance as in my favor.
Yoichi: Oops. Please forget I said anything.
Second: Impossible, your feral violence is too sexy to forget.
Third: Stop that! I'm trying to have a serious conversation!
Second: Sanzou secretly finds it sexy too, he's just repressed. You know what would help him loosen up? Being tied to your bed.
#
Yoichi: In order to date me, you must defeat—
Second: We know, your evil villain brother.
Yoichi: Close! You must defeat my evil brother AND my somewhat unhinged mom who lives in his head.
Author's Note: This chapter is LadyoftheNight / stealthsuitdeku's prize for Three Weeks of Trioholders. The prompt works perfectly for this fic, fabulous timing. The omake is a hint for a future fic focused on All for One and his mother's vestige.