Killua marched into Beanz at 10am on Christmas Eve with his head held high. Everything from his waistband to his knees was sore with a vengeance, but he was on enough ibuprofen not to show it. Absolutely nothing was amiss and his entire world absolutely hadn't been turned on its head last night, because that would be completely and utterly ridiculous.
He was dating Gon now, no big deal. All was right in the world.
He was walking back into work just like any other day. Everything was perfectly normal. He'd march passed the booths and tables, kick down the door to the back of house, clock in, flip off the Christmas decorations, claim his place in the drive through, and–
Killua didn't make it two steps into the coffee shop before he was attacked on all sides.
His eardrums rattled with an outburst of incoherent screaming, and so many pairs of arms grabbed, shoved, and wrapped around him that he was overstimulated in under a millisecond.
"God, Jesus fuck!" Killua gasped.
Ikalgo wrapped his arms around Killua's waist and spun him around in circles, "You got laid, I'm so fucking proud of you!"
Palm pounded him on the top of the head over and over again with her fists, "I can't believe you! Why haven't you been answering my texts?! I need details! Every tiny, excruciating detail!"
"Killua's fucking gay! Killua's fucking gay!" Chrollo and Leorio cheered, standing at each of their poor victim's shoulders and shoving him back and forth.
"I called this shit, I called all of it. Just thought I should point that out," Kurapika bragged from where they stood off to the side and watched the chaos unfold.
Zepile shoved his way into the dogpile of coworkers, swiftly shoving everyone off Killua and giving him some much-needed personal space. "Give him some room, guys! Let the man breathe!"
Killua sighed in relief, turning to thank his only civilized coworker–
Zepile's arm locked around Killua's neck, and he hunched him over with a grin that was far too enthusiastic for comfort. "So, where's my wedding invitation?"
The entire workforce cheered.
"Oh my god!" Killua yelled over the noise, his face flaming as he shoved Zepile off and stomped to the keypad to clock in. A parade followed after him, with catcalls assaulting his ears and slaps across the back throwing him off balance. Killua was once again reminded of how much he hated his coworkers.
"Come on," Ikalgo cackled. He skipped alongside Killua as he attempted to clock in in peace. The rest of the assholes were close at his heels. "You've gotta at least tell me what happened, right? I'm your best friend, that means I get special treatment."
"Do you?" Killua asked through gritted teeth. He stomped from the back of the house to his place behind the counter, with the entire workforce still clinging at his heels. Even the drive through wasn't safe. Unheard of.
Killua planted a headset over his hair and leaned heavily against the drive through window. The glass was cold to the touch, a welcome sensation in all the chaos that his life had become. Killua watched his breath fog the glass and tried to ignore the fact that every damned one of his coworkers had plopped down on the floor around him like it was circle time.
The exasperated man finally snapped and spun to face them, "Don't you psychos have anything better to do?!"
Palm gave him a sly smile from where she sat, chin propped on her palm. "Oh please. We know you want to gush all about it. We're sparing our future selves the trouble."
The others nodded in agreement.
Killua scoffed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fine! Fine."
The crowd leaned in closer.
"Gon and I are dating."
A chorus of cheers.
The elderly couple walking in the front door swiftly turned and sped in the other direction.
Killua sighed as he glanced at his phone, a nervous habit at this point. He was met with a wall of notifications, all of them from Gon and splattered across a dozen different platforms. His lips flicked up in a smile.
"I'm really happy," Killua admitted, though he may as well have been stating that the sky was blue. "I've only known the idiot for like a month, and it took a hell of a lot more trouble for us to get together than it should have… but it worked out. So… yeah." He shrugged, hands stuffed comfortably into his pockets.
"Aww," Leorio cooed. Were those tears welling up in his eyes?
"I'm happy for you, child," Kurapika hummed.
"Certainly took long enough," Palm grunted.
Ikalgo pouted, "I guess this means that our bro time is going to be cut in half?"
Killua snorted, "Yeah, I guess so. God forbid."
Zepile smiled warmly up at Killua, "So, will the two of you be spending Christmas together?" He sounded like a doting grandmother. It was ridiculous.
"Yeah, actually," the silver haired man replied. "We're spending the night at Alluka's for Christmas and–" Killua froze mid-sentence. "Holy shit!"
"What?!" the others demanded in unison, their eyes blowing comically wide.
"Oh, god dammit!" Killua gasped. "This is horrible!"
"What's wrong? What happened?" Zepile demanded as he flew to his feet.
Palm screamed as Killua leapt over her head to scramble out of the drive through. "What the fuck, gay boy, calm down!" she yelled.
"Is it aliens?!" Ikalgo shrieked.
"Worse," Killua said ominously. He pressed his headset into Kurapika's chest. "Take this"
"Why? Are you okay?" the blonde demanded, worry flashing in their eyes.
"IS ALLUKA DEAD?!" Leorio screamed with his head in his hands.
Killua stopped in his tracks at that, turning to fixate the idiotic brunette with a side eye that could kill. "No, dipshit, Alluka isn't dead! But I am calling out, Zepile, sorry."
"Excuse me?" the man in question asked. His tone had fallen into what Killua liked to call "disappointed manager mode."
Killua addressed his coworkers with eyes glazed over in horror. "I need to buy Gon a Christmas present." He then bolted, and was out the door without so much as a "Happy Holidays."
…
After approximately seven hours of frantic shopping, Killua turned up on Alluka's doorstep with an armful of shittily wrapped gifts and an overnight bag slung from his shoulders. It had been a close call, but he had managed to find a perfect present for Gon. Crisis averted! If Killua had ended up forgetting to buy his boyfriend a Christmas present then he would have sooner launched himself from Alluka's 7th floor apartment window than look him in the eye ever again.
Alluka's shitty wreath was just as hideous as it had been the first time he'd laid eyes on it. Killua considered lighting it on fire, but it would have been too much work to walk to the gas station and purchase a lighter.
Oh the woes of lacking a nicotine addiction.
Killua knew he should have started smoking in middle school. Shameful.
Once he had given the wreath a healthy glare, he kicked at the door with his toe. His arms were entirely too full of Christmas shit to knock properly. Killua only stopped assaulting his sister's door when he heard a shout from within announcing that they were "on the way" and to "cut it the fuck out."
Killua snorted and glanced upwards. This time when he laid eyes on the mistletoe hung in the doorway, he smiled.
This madness never would have started if it hadn't been for that damned plant.
Killua supposed that it had a few thanks in order. But only a few.
The door flung open to reveal none other than Zushi. Killua's face fell into an immediate frown, but before he could open his mouth to retort the brunette marched up to him, grabbed him by the back of the neck, and pulled him into a firm kiss.
In the spirit of mistletoe, Killua kissed him back. With tongue, of course.
When Zushi broke away he fixed Killua with a grin. "Yup," he declared, his voice too loud. "Killua's a better kisser than Alluka."
"HEY!" came an enraged shout from within the apartment.
Killua cackled. "Are you drunk?" he asked Zushi.
"No, no, of course not," Zushi snorted. He tried to lean casually against the doorframe and only ended up missing it. "Not at all."
Killua rolled his eyes and shoved his way past him. "Yeah, sure." When he entered his sister's apartment he was greeted with even more Christmas decorations (how that was even possible was beyond him), repulsive vintage holiday music, and, sure enough, an impressive accumulation of alcohol.
"Damn, Alluka," Killua said as he scrutinized the stash on the kitchen counter.
"My fake is better than yours!" she chirped, skipping across the apartment to meet him. "Put the presents under the tree!" Killua nodded along, and made the march of shame to place two enormous gift bags and one very obviously wrapped dildo (with Zushi's name on it) in their rightful place.
The moment the presents were safe Killua was slapped across the back of the head. "Ow!" he yelled, whipping around to glare at the evil bitch who had done this to him.
Alluka grinned at him most sinisterly. "So. You finally tied the knot with Gon and thought you could get away with cheating me of all my juicy details?!"
"You're just as bad as all the psychopaths I work with!" Killua shrieked. "I'm just dating someone, it's not that big of a deal." He shoved past his sister to sit next to Zushi on the couch (unheard of, he is aware), who was failing miserably at a game of Tetris with a bottle of lemon flavored vodka clutched in one fist.
Killua made grabby hands for the bottle, which the brunette was quick to pass along. Alluka, however, swiped it from the both of them before she found herself stuck between two drunken men. One was difficult enough as it was.
"Brother, you can't bitch and complain to me for an entire month and then act all cool and suave the second you get what you want," she scolded. "We all know that you're lying. Drop the facade, bitch!"
"Never," Killua declared, snatching the bottle from his sister's hand and downing a mouthful.
Alluka rolled her eyes and dropped onto the couch beside Zushi, tossing an arm around his shoulders as she intercepted the vodka bottle before it could return to him. Killua was nothing if not committed to the bit, and quickly tossed his own arm across Zushi's shoulders in turn, effectively placing the brunette in a Zoldyck sandwich.
Zushi broke down into tears as he lost his ninth game of Tetris in a row.
"What's his problem?" Killua snorted. Feeding off of Zushi's suffering was his main source of nutrition, and he wanted to know who he had to thank for this delectable meal.
Alluka snickered, "He's trying to recover from walking in on you and Gon." She gave Zushi's head a consoling pat.
"Hah!" Killua barked a laugh, not even the slightest bit remorseful.
He was punished with a flick to the back of the head from Alluka. "You turned my boyfriend into an alcoholic, congratulations."
"Trust me, he's better off this way," Killua said dismissively. He regretted the retort when he was given a second flick.
Zushi butted into the conversation, "You should be thanking me, honest. Honesty? Honestly. Yeah, that." He flopped his hand in Killua's general direction.
"And why would I ever thank you?" Killua demanded. "I don't like you, haven't you figured it out yet?"
"Brother!" Alluka scolded.
"B'cause!" Zushi declared. "I knew about Gon wanting to get with you, like, that whole time. He never would have gotten anywhere with you if it hadn't been for me."
"What!" Alluka gasped, "Why didn't you tell me sooner?!"
Zushi shrugged. "Gon said he would like…" he gestured vaguely with his hands, "Eat me or something? I dunno, girl, I dunno."
"Dammit," Alluka whined, "If we'd been working together then we could have gotten the idiots together so much sooner!"
Killua rolled his eyes and tried to tune out the conversation. He'd rather not think that mother fucking Zushi had anything to do with his eternal happiness, and he'd prefer to keep it that way.
"But you can at least thank me, brother, right?" Alluka perked up. She leaned over Zushi and fixed Killua with a dazzling grin.
The silver haired man narrowed his eyes and tried to fight it… but his sister was too powerful. With a dramatic grumble, he relented. "Thanks, or whatever. Bitch."
"YES!" Alluka cheered. "Validation!"
Killua shook his head and chuckled as he watched Alluka dance in circles around her living room. Zushi elbowed him in the ribs as he watched Killua watch the display. "Awww, you love your sister, don't you?" he cooed.
"Not willingly," Killua grunted. He then realized that he was sitting on the couch with his arm tossed around Zushi's shoulders, and quickly withdrew it. The drunken brunette pouted in response.
Then the doorbell rang, and Christmas Eve suddenly got exponentially better.
"Gon's here!" Killua gasped, his face splitting open in a grin as he shot to his feet.
Alluka and Zushi shared a knowing glance as he sprinted to the door. Killua could try to hide how he felt all he liked, but it was more than clear that he was absolutely smitten over Gon. No amount of resolved sexual tension or shitty acting would ever be able to conceal that.
With laughter on his lips, Killua slid through Alluka's foyer on socked feet. He couldn't have hid the pure elation on his face when he ripped the door open if he tried.
For there he stood, the light of his life and the center of all his problems. Gon fucking Freecss. With a familiar grin on his face and a motorcycle under his arm, Gon stood at Alluka's door with his hip cocked and a backpack overflowing with neatly wrapped Christmas presents clinging to his shoulders.
"Gon!" Killua shouted in delight. He flung himself into his boyfriend's arms, who effortlessly caught him with a laugh and a tight embrace.
Gon spun him around a couple of times, before planting him on his feet and cupping Killua's face in his hands. "Oh my god, I haven't seen you in almost twenty-four hours, how are you?"
Killua grinned, "Fine, now that you're here." He felt his heart melt as Gon's eyes crinkled up at the corners. He tossed his arms around the raven's shoulders and basked in the moment. Gon was finally his, and he never could have asked for anything more.
He'd hated Christmas his whole life, but all of a sudden the lights and the obnoxious music and the decorations weren't pissing him off quite as much. Because now, every time he caught a glimpse of a mistletoe or so brightly wrapped gifts, he'd get to think about Gon and all the happiness they'd ended up sharing.
Which is why this time, when Gon's eyes flicked up and caught a glimpse of the mistletoe hanging over their heads, he didn't run or feel his stomach drop in horror.
He took Gon's head in his hands and yanked him into a kiss, because any opportunity to kiss this fool was one that he was more than willing to take.