A/N: I haven't read any of the Ro x Will fics yet that are on here, but I watched "The Next Phase" again the other day and thought there really ought to be a follow-up on Riker's plan to eulogise Ro.

Also, I'm consistently referring to her as Laren here because TNG had her call out Picard on getting the name wrong and then never did anything with that, and considering it's her perspective, I figured it's only fair to use her first name.

A Eulogy… and then some

"I might like to say a few words…"
"You did know La Forge longer than any of us."
"Actually, I was thinking about Ensign Ro."

Those words rang over and over in Laren's head. Once the initial shock about her and Geordi's survival and rematerialisation had passed, both theirs and that of the crew, they had been ushered into sickbay for a thorough check-up, then once the doctor and the counselor were done with them, they had been sent to their quarters to recover, despite their protests – Geordi's that he was needed to give the tampered warp drive a once-over, Laren's that she had spent the last hours unable to do anything and she was itching to get back to her post. Now, the next day, she was finally back on duty… and all she could think about were the commander's words, which she never had gotten to hear and probably never would.

The curiosity was killing her.

Being seated right in front of Riker didn't help, and she imagined that she could feel his eyes boring holes in the back of her head. She had gone over it a thousand times, what he might have wanted to say about her, and come up blank. Frosty as he tended to be to her, trash-talking her at her own funeral didn't seem his style, but she could hardly imagine he had anything positive to say about her either. And he certainly hadn't been going to talk about that…

That was… the incident.

A few months ago, the Enterprise had been boarded by a hostile alien being, who had erased their memories, covertly integrated himself into the crew, and brainwashed them into believing they, the Federation, were at war with some primitive species, his – its people's enemies. They had come within a hair of wiping out an entire space station… and then there had been the incident.

Amnesiacs as they were, Riker and Ro had hit it off right away. Not knowing they were usually less than friendly to each other, nor that they were superior and subordinate, they had…

Afterwards, once their memories had been restored, neither of them had been eager to talk about it, and a brief, wordless understanding to pretend nothing had happened had been all either of them had been willing to allow.

Prone as the commander was to brag about his conquests, somehow Laren found it hard to believe he would have brought it up at, the thought still gave her the heeby-jeebies, her own funeral.

'Is something the matter, ensign?'

She was startled out of her daydreaming. Riker was standing over her, a mix of irritation and concern on his face.

'Sir. No, sir.'

'I asked you for a course correction.'

'I'm sorry, sir. I must have zoned out.'

'Uh-huh. You're sure you're alright, ensign?'

'Perfectly, sir.'

He propped is foot up on the helm console and bent down, voice lowering.

'If you need to take some time off… you've been through a lot, it would be no object—'

'I'm fine', Laren insisted, just as quiet, before adding an even quieter, 'thank you for your concern, sir.'

'Very well.' Riker straightened up again. 'We're going to alter course for a layover at Starbase 512. Proceed at warp 5, ensign.'

'Aye, sir.'

When her shift ended some hours later, Laren had come to a decision: she was going to ask him. If this curiosity affected her performance… the last thing she wanted was an extended talk with Riker at her next performance review. Asking him upfront ought to be easier. 'Hey, sir, so what'd you think about my death?' seemed a little blunt, but she would come up with something.

She tried to linger as long as possible as the officers filed in and out of the turbolifts, but Riker was still chatting with Commander Crusher as he handed over the night watch, and she didn't want to be seen waiting and staring, so she would have to find another opportunity.

'Deck 8', she decided as the doors slid closed behind her.

Waiting outside his quarters seemed to obvious, so she made sure to linger around a public replicator near the turbolift that would let her see Riker when he would head for his quarters. Twenty minutes later, her patience was rewarded when he stepped out of the turbolift. Hurrying down the corridor behind him, she caught up with him.

'Ensign', he acknowledged her.

'Commander', for someone whose palms were sweaty and whose heart was racing, she sounded remarkably calm, 'I wondered if you had a minute?'

He slowed his step. 'Sure. What's the matter?'

What was the matter?

'I've been wondering', think, Laren, think, 'yesterday…'

'Yes, ensign?'

Oh well. Out with it. Prophets be with me.

'You said you were going to say something at our funeral… I was curious.'

The look on Riker's face was priceless. If she hadn't been ridiculously nervous about bringing this up in the first place, Laren might have burst out laughing at the complete derailing, there was no other word for it, of the commander's expression.

'I don't believe that's appropriate', Riker managed after a few seconds. Probably seeing her protest on her face, he added, 'and frankly, it's none of your business, ensign.'

Well, what was he gonna do? Put her on report for asking a question in both their off-duty time?

'With all due respect, sir—'

His face hardened. 'I'm not going to discuss this, and that's final.'

They were only a few metres away from his quarters now. Oh the hell with it, Laren thought. Later, she wouldn't remember what came over her.

'What were you going to say that you're so afraid I might hear?', she shouted at his back as he set off down the, fortunately empty, corridor again.

He froze in his tracks, and for a second, she was sure she had just ended her career aboard the Enterprise or in Starfleet altogether. He turned back to her, and for a few, terrifying moments, neither of them said anything.

'Not out here', Riker decided. He strode towards his quarters, and with no other orders from him, Laren followed. He punched in the key code and the doors slid open.

'One more thing', he added. 'If we're going to talk about this, we leave the ranks at the door. Agreed?'

'Yes, sir', Laren confirmed. 'I mean… yes, Mr Riker.'

'Will', he corrected. 'Come in, Laren.'

Seeing Riker's – no, Will's – quarters again was surreal. The last time she had been here… she tried to push those memories, those very vivid memories, aside for the moment.

'Something to drink?'

Her throat was tight and dry, and she silently nodded.

'A godfather, syntheholic, and a tonic water', Will ordered from the replicator, and if being ordered a drink by him didn't reinforce her sense of déjà vu, nothing could. He handed her her glass and flopped down on the couch with his own. She took the chair opposite him. They sipped from their drinks, and neither seemed prepared to break the silence. Another sip, then another. The tonic was bitter yet fruity – nothing she would get for herself, but the extravagant nature of his drink order fit Will, she thought. He was a man who liked little luxuries.

'I didn't have anything specific ready yet', Will eventually broke the silence. 'No speech or anything. To be honest, I wasn't even sure if I should say anything at all.'

'Ah.'

'How did you know, anyway?'

Right. That hadn't been in her report, had it.

'I was on the bridge', she began, feeling apprehensive. 'I was – well, I thought I was dead. That I had to make peace with my life, say goodbye, all that.'

If Will was surprised by the extent of her spirituality, he hid it well.

'You and the captain showed up and I… sort of eavesdropped on you, I suppose. In the ready room.'

'I see.' Another sip. 'I don't suppose there is a regulation against dead officers haunting their captains.'

That provoked a chuckle from her. 'I guess not.'

'Hmm.' He rubbed his forehead. 'Well, when I got to Ten Forward, I was still hammering out the details of the eulogy, but the party was not what I expected… it didn't seem right to give a sombre speech when everyone was celebrating.'

The memory made Ro smile. 'Commander Data studied five-thousand funeral customs in preparation. You'll have to thank Lieutenant Worf for sparing us the Bajoran death chant.'

'How do you – ah, let me guess: you eavesdropped.'

'Sort of. We hitched a ride to the Romulan ship aboard his shuttle.'

'Now there's a mental image…' He raised what was left of his drink. 'To absent friends.'

'To absent friends.'

When their glasses were empty, Will – it still felt so weird to think of him as 'Will' – took them back to the replicator before sitting down opposite her again.

'So… what were you thinking about saying?', she inquired.

He sighed. 'It's a little… personal.' A rueful smile. 'It's easier to talk about dead people when they're, you know… dead.'

'Will', that was the first time using his first name. 'If you'd rather not…'

Will shook his head. 'I'm not going to run away from a conversation just because it's challenging.'

He stood up and started pacing up and down.

'When I first met you', he intoned, as if addressing a crowd, 'I couldn't stand you. Ro Laren, Starfleet's most infamous insubordinate officer! I couldn't believe it when you were assigned to the ship, much less when the captain offered you to stay.'

That much Ro knew.

'When you began working under me, I was determined to make things hard for you. No accommodations, no shortcuts. If you were going to quit the service, I wouldn't shed a tear. I was convinced you weren't going to make it: you were ill-tempered, thick-headed, not a team player.'

Ouch. Not that he was completely wrong, but… ouch.

'But over time… that began to smooth out. I think it was a few months after you came aboard, when I was doing crew evaluations with Deanna, that I realised my resentment against you had lessened. I began to see your good sides.'

'You did a good job of hiding it', Laren interjected.

'Thank you', he mock-bowed. 'I didn't think someone like you could redeem yourself, not after your trial or the way you behaved at first. Don't get me wrong, I still have a lot to complain about, and frankly, your attitude about authority… but that's not why we're here.'

He cleared his throat.

'When we were transporting over, I was just again ready to tear your head of for that talking back, to be honest.'

'This is not a bright idea', she remembered herself saying.

'But when I heard you'd been lost… my first thought was no different than if we'd lost Brossmer, or McDowell, or any other crewmember under my command. More so, perhaps, I felt like a friend had been lost, someone I cared about more than I'd thought.'

For once, Ro Laren didn't know what to say.

Will coughed. 'I, uh, didn't really have the rest planned out yet, but there was going to be something inspiring in there, about second chances and redemption. And of course all that now was going to be a lot shorter and less negative – it was your funeral after all.'

Laren nodded, more moved than she had expected.

'I didn't know you cared so much', she eventually replied. 'To be honest, I didn't think you would have anything nice to say about me.'

'Yeah', there was that awkward smile again, 'me neither.'

She stood up. 'I'm… well, I'm glad you had the opportunity to say it.'

'Frankly, so am I.'

For a moment, they stood opposite each other, neither saying a word. Then, she started with 'I should be going' just as he started with 'one more thing'.

'Yes?'

'There is also what happened this summer.'

Fuck.

She instinctively expected a belated dressing-down, but none came.

'I realise we were not acting ourselves', Will began, 'but after the whole thing…'

'It's alright', she cut him off. 'I understand if you were freaked out.'

He raised an eyebrow. 'That's not what I was going to say.'

Oh?

'I admit, at first I had trouble reconciling what happened with how I felt about you', he continued. 'I couldn't believe we'd done that, not just as commander and ensign, but also because I could barely stand being in the same room as you. But there was this nagging thought, what if we could get along if there wasn't any of your history between us?'

Laren had asked herself the same question at the time. But apparently unlike Riker, she had rejected the thought as wishful thinking.

'And to be honest, afterwards, I tried to… well, keep an open mind. Not so friendly that people would start talking, but… I tried to give you the same benefit of the doubt I give everyone who serves under me.'

He had eased up on her, she supposed, although she had, at the time, attributed that to either embarrassment, tiring of being a hardass, or an intervention from Captain Picard.

'I appreciate it', she curtly replied.

'Do you regret it?', Will asked, and she thought to herself that she had never heard him so… so vulnerable. This wasn't Commander Riker, William T., and this wasn't Will Riker the infamous womaniser either. This was Will, plain and open.

'I thought I did', she weighed her words carefully. 'I was worried. That you might be even harder on me, or want me off the ship. But considering', she gestured at the two of them, 'this? No, I don't.'

Will had a bittersweet look about him that she had never seen on him.

'Me neither.'

The words hung in the air between them, overwhelming in their implications. She stared at the deck plates below them. There were no particularly strict regulations against fraternisation, Ro's memory helpfully supplied, at least none that didn't pertain mostly to high-security facilities, classified missions, and court-martials.

When she looked up again, Will regarded her with a fond look that she had until now believed exclusive to his friends.

'Laren, if things were different…'

He left the sentence unfinished, but she understood.

'I know. I never thought, but… me too.'

He nodded, seemingly as lost in thoughts of if and could as she was.

'I should get going', she reiterated her earlier words, and Will snapped out of it.

'I suppose you should.'

He crossed the distance and moved to open the door before hesitating and turning back.

'I have to ask… is there any problem between us I should know about?'

Her chest ached, and she was briefly tempted to say, yes, yes there is, can we just…? But instead she shook her head.

'Not from my side… Will. Commander.'

Just like that, he too slipped back into his professional persona.

'Very well, ensign.'

He tapped the keypad and the door slid open. The corridor outside was empty.

'Good night, commander.'

'Laren…'

'Yes?'

'This doesn't mean I won't expect no less than your best performance from you.'

Despite the harsh words, there was a barely suppressed wistfulness in his voice.

'I didn't think so, sir.'

'Very good. Good night, ensign.'

'Sir.'

A/N: And that's that! Considering I wasn't expecting to fill more than maybe 500 words with this, it sure turned out long. Do let me know what you thought if you're so inclined; I love receiving comments and that expressly includes concrit.