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Chapter 4
The sun had been down for quite some time when they arrived on the outskirts of Arendelle. Jack had dozed off about an hour or so before, leaving Elsa alone with her thoughts. It had been many years since she'd been to the village. She would sometimes come down from the forest to the hills just outside the kingdom and look down upon it in the early morning light but she had not gone back to the village proper once she realized her people could no longer see her.
She still thought of them as her people.
She had only ruled as Queen for three years before abdicating her throne to Anna, but all the years of her young life spent preparing for that duty still compelled her to check on them. Her snowbirds didn't only guard the old place gates, they also watched over the people for her.
As the last remaining royal family member, she could not bear the thought of completely abandoning them. She supposed that made her Queen again, in a way, though she only watched over them from afar.
She drove the snow deer to bring them past the mostly frozen harbor and the palace. She glanced up at the high towers, once carefully dotted with her snowflakes all had faded save one. Her eyes landed on her old bedroom window.
She turned away before she dwelled too much on the past.
Driving the snow deer up and out of the frozen water and onto the hillside behind the palace walls was a bit of a challenge but a quick ramp made of her ice eased the steep climb for them. They pulled into the trees and came to a halt.
Checking on Jack she smiled, he was still sleeping, leaning to the side with his staff partly supporting him. She stepped down from the sleigh and walked up to her deer, stroking their necks before gently speaking to them in low soft tones so they would not leave the area.
She turned back towards the distant lights of the village. If she was going to return, she should be dressed for the occasion she supposed; she owed them that honor at the very least, even if they could not see her.
Glancing down at her old worn dress she brought up her hands and started at her neck and moved them in a downward motion. The familiar feeling of her magic washed over her, working its way across her skin, shaping ice into her white spirit dress with a modified touch. Where she normally had the delicate white trains behind her she now had an elegant high-collared cloak.
Something a bit more fitting for a Queen in self-imposed exile.
She examined her work, pleased with the results, and turned back to the sleigh, to find Jack awake and staring at her with wide eyes.
"Elsa…did you just make your clothes…out of ice?" The last words were a few octaves higher than his normal tone.
"Um, yes? You can't?"
"No, I can't."
Elsa looked down at her dress, seeing it in a new light. She could freeze an entire region of the continent if she wanted to, build giant palaces of ice and will alone, she had not ever considered her ability to make icy cloth that impressive.
Jack half floated and half stepped down from the sleigh coming to land beside her. "I had no idea this dress was made of ice when we met." He winced as he knelt down to examine her cloak, "Can I?" he indicated the fabric.
She nodded her permission and he picked up a corner of the cloak bringing it up close to his face to examine, "You have got to teach me how to do this."
"I can try? It comes so naturally to me, I'm not quite sure how to explain it." She frowned as he stood back up. She did not miss the slight grimace that passed over his features. "Jack, are you in pain?"
"A little, don't worry, I heal quickly."
She did not like that answer, "Where, your side?"
He nodded reluctantly, "It was from a Nightmare a few days ago, knocked me out of the sky kinda hard. Really though, don't worry, I've had much worse."
She reached out, her hands hovering over the area, "May I? I might be able to help a little."
"You gonna tell me you can use your magic to heal now too? What's next, talking snowmen?"
She gave him her best queenly glower for that comment, "Ironic, coming from someone who can fly and is friends with Santa Clause. Now, hold still."
Whatever quip was about to leave Jack's lips turned into a sharp gasp as she moved his hoodie aside and pressed her bare hand to his side over the large bruise. He immediately felt her own frost unfold across his skin. It did not swirl in delicate leaf-like patterns like his, but opened up and furled across his skin like a twisting, shimmering, expanding kaleidoscope. It took only a moment for the magic to seep into his side and soothe the low throbbing ache.
He heaved a relieved sigh as she looked back up at him, "It will dull the pain for a while. Something I picked up looking after the people who once lived in my forest." Elsa smiled faintly thinking of Honeymaren and Ryder, they quite often would get into scrapes on their adventures.
Jack spoke softly, "I'm starting to think there isn't anything you can't do."
She looked into his eyes for a long moment, nearly afraid to break the gaze and remove her hand from his side, lest it shatter the spell that had fallen between them.
In the distance, the clock tower sounded the time, with eight bell rings echoing across the village.
"We should get going. Many of the children will be asleep soon." He spoke quietly again.
She stepped back, removing her hand, and nodded, "If we follow this wall we will come to a back gate that will lead us into the palace garden."
"Or we can go my way."
"Your way?" She raised an eyebrow.
He held out a hand to her, "Yep my way." He indicated in an upwards motion with his staff.
"Are you certain you're up for flying?"
"I promise, it's not far, even with two. Plus your extra special magical healing powers have made me feel a lot better.
Elsa refrained from rolling her eyes at his sarcasm, "Nothing crazy alight? I'm well aware of your love for acrobatics." She'd been in enough snowball fights with him now to be very familiar with his antics.
"On my honor!" He bowed deeply in a sweeping motion before holding out his hand once more.
"I will keep you to that, Jack Frost." She placed her hand in his and he drew her to him, setting her hand upon his shoulder.
He wrapped his arm around her waist, "Hold on, here we go."
Elsa wrapped her other arm around his neck as she felt the wind stir the hem of her cloak and dress, to his credit they lifted gently off the ground. It was different from when Gale would help her, with Jack she nearly felt weightless.
They rose above the trees as she glanced back down at the snow deer waiting patiently for their return and then flew over the palace wall, past the old gardens, and over into the village proper. Jack flew like he knew exactly where he was going and headed straight for the clock tower in the town square.
It didn't look like much had changed since she'd last been here, there were more street lights and the handful of cars were very different from the last ones she'd seen. The town center had grown a bit, she was glad to see they appeared to be doing okay, despite the difficulties the illness that was sweeping the world right now had been causing.
Jack had told her about it and she'd fretted a great deal and mentally scolded herself for not checking on the townspeople sooner. But then what could she do for them? Spirit or not, all her powers were nothing against sickness and disease.
The last Queen of Arendelle died during the Influenza outbreak right after the Great War. Anna's great-granddaughter had not lived long enough to marry and have a family of her own. Elsa's gaze drifted over to the cemetery high up the hills on the other side of the fjord, she roughly could make out the pale stones in the faint starlight, the moon would not rise for many more hours.
Before long Jack was lowering them down, coming to alight on the side of the clock tower, right where the well-worn little figures stood before the clock face. He set her down gently first before easing down onto the ledge himself, his bare feet dangling over the edge. She sat down beside him, letting her own feet hang freely. She imagined they'd make quite the sight if there were anyone able to see them.
The Snow Queen and Jack Frost.
A comfortable silence settled between them, Jack lazily kicked his feet in the air and kept an eye on the sky. He stole a glance at Elsa, perched next to him sitting with her back straight and eyes slowly roaming over the tops of the houses, looking every bit a Queen surveying her people.
Jack twirled his staff absentmindedly, creating small bursts of snowflakes. He heard chirping and looked up to see a few of Elsa's snowbirds had flown over to them. Happy to see their creator, she held out her hand for one of them and it landed on her finger. She stroked its little head and it puffed up in joy.
"Elsa, is this where you're from?"
Elsa froze mid-coo at her bird and turned to Jack, he had his staff laid over his knees, watching her with a curious expression. She considered for a moment and thought of her dream and her sister.
She could almost imagine Anna's voice now, "Let him in Elsa."
It did make sense to tell him, it's not like it was a huge secret she was trying to keep. "Yes, I was born here, grew up here," she paused for a beat, "I was Queen here."
She took a quick glance at him but could read nothing in his expression save his attentiveness.
The snowbird gave tiny little coos of approval as she continued to stroke it, "I was born the Crown Princess of Arendelle and spent most of my young life behind those palace walls training to be Queen." Her snowbird chirped at her for more affection, "And trying to learn to control my powers."
"You struggled with them?"
"Yes a great deal, I could not control them for most of my childhood and into adulthood."
Jack frowned at that, "I wish I could have been here, I would have tried to help. Even if you wouldn't have been able to see me."
Elsa tilted her head, "Why would I not have been able to see you?"
Heaving a heavy sigh Jack leaned back on his arms and looked back up into the sky, "For the first 300 years after I became a spirit no one could."
"You mean once you became a spirit you–?" Elsa reeled at that, she had become unseen to her people, and had been for almost a century now, but…300 years?
"I only became visible to some children once I became a Guardian, like—about a decade ago? Still feels like it was just yesterday." Jack smiled, thinking of Jamie now currently off at University. "I mean, I could be seen by other spirits, but I'm not sure you would have been able to see me as a child. You would have had to believe."
"Believe?"
"It's the faith of children that makes us seen, makes us 'real', that's where the Guardians draw their power from. Although–" he rubbed his chin, "Oddly enough, my powers aren't really affected by the children's belief, not that I can tell anyways. The other Guardians become weaker when the children lose faith in them. I become invisible to them, but my powers are always the same. They were just as strong as they are now when no one believed in me."
Belief.
Had that been why Elsa had become unseen to her people? Had she been away so long they forgot about her and without the royal family to keep her story alive it faded from memory?
Perhaps, she wasn't a guardian after all, but maybe there was something to it.
"This is the first time I've been here in many decades. The last time I was here a child walked right through me." Elsa drew up her knees to her chest, her skirts pooling and draping over the edge of the clocktower, "It seems after my sister's bloodline ended the people forgot about me. I'd only met my great grand niece once before she died, when she was very young, I often spent years away between visits. By the time I returned to Arendelle again I'd become only a story to them, sometimes even a scary one."
Jack's heart sank, Elsa was far too kind-hearted to be considered scary to him. He knew fear, better than almost any other, and it saddened him to think some of her own people told scary stories about her.
He thought of the little girl he'd seen that morning, she had been so sure Elsa was real, but he had no way to tell if the story the child had been told by her grandmother was a scary story or not. But the fact her story lived on did mean there was some hope for the future.
"I think that as long as your story still lives, there's a chance for them to be able to see you again. It took me years to figure it out for myself, sometimes I wonder why it took me so long. Maybe if…" He paused then, seeing a telltale glow above the trees. "Ah, right on time"
Elsa followed his line of sight and gasped in wonder as gentle swilling streams of golden sand made their way into the village, at their head small golden butterflies flitted down amongst the homes.
"Sandy is responsible for giving children all over the world good dreams, but even he can't be everywhere at once. He usually travels over large cities himself and sends these out to smaller towns and villages." Jack stood offering her his hand, "I'll need to catch one before they leave and have it deliver a message to him."
Taking his hand they sprung off the clocktower, half floating and half gliding down to follow a butterfly as it flew in through the upstairs window of a home. Jack hovered near the window as they peeked in to see a sleeping girl, tucked safely in her bed. It was the child he'd seen that morning.
Above the girl's head the butterfly floated, golden sand glittering and dropping from its wings. Jack watched Elsa as she peered into the window, her eyes wide as the sand transformed into a dream. She gasped as the faint image of a girl and a boy playing together appeared, in the golden image they raced down a hill in the snow on sleds.
"It's beautiful," Elsa whispered while watching the dream.
"Yea," Jack smiled, never taking his eyes off her, "it is."
The butterfly left the girl and moved through the house to another room. Jack lifted them both up to be able to sit on the window ledge of the next room over.
The girl's brother slept, and now above his bed, a golden soccer game played out. With a last sprinkle of sand, the butterfly headed back out the window and Jack reached out, encasing it in an icy sphere. Holding the bubble between them he smiled, "Sandy showed me how to do this once. Hopefully, I'll be able to leave an impression on the dream weaver so he'll get my message when it returns to him."
Holding the icy sphere Jack closed his eyes, murmuring a quiet message, the butterfly glowed brightly, making the icy bubble almost look like a lamp. With a tap from his staff, the bubble broke apart and the free butterfly floated up, it hovered for a moment and gently circled around Elsa.
She held out her hand and it landed in her palm, its gentle golden light shining in her eyes, making them gleam in the dark night, everything about her glowed, her ice reflecting its light off her dress and the tiny snowflakes in her hair.
Jack had never seen her smile so brightly, he sighed gently, leaning against his staff as Elsa held the butterfly aloft and watched as it floated away. He couldn't help but think he might be willing to do just about anything to see her smile like that again.
The two of them watched the golden sand retreat back over the trees, leaving a quiet dreaming village in its wake.
Looking below the trees Elsa's eyes fell to the hilltop.
"Jack, before we go, can you please take me to one other place?"
A few moments later he was gently setting her down outside the cemetery gates.
She looked up the winding path to the small chapel and back to Jack, "I know you're tired, I promise I won't be long."
Jack waved his hand as he floated up and sat upon the stone wall that ringed the area, "It's fine, take all the time you need. I'll wait here for you."
Elsa nodded and with a swift movement of her hands, she held a bouquet made of perfectly sculpted ice lilies.
After a short walk, she quietly entered the tiny chapel's doorway. It was dark within so she created a snowflake and held it aloft, its soft blue glow filling the room, brightly illuminating the white marble. She walked past several crypts until she reached a rather large one with the name engraved into the marble floor. Lowering herself to the floor she set her flowers down and carefully brushed her hands over the letters.
"Hello, Anna."
Jack watched as Elsa walked up the path toward the chapel.
He'd looked for his sister's grave once, after regaining his memories, but the stone markers of that era were very worn back in Burgess. He had found his mother easily, she was beside his father after all, and that one he remembered the location of. He often wondered when his sister grew up if she'd got married, had a family, and moved to another town.
He had no way of knowing. He liked to think she had.
Seeing Elsa walk up the path, to what he presumed was her sister's grave, he wondered if it was better that he didn't know.
With a sigh he lay down atop the wall, his eyes drifting over the stars above. He breathed deeply, filling his chest with the cool night air and the smell of fallen leaves. His nap on the way here had helped, but he was still bone tired. A small part of him sometimes longed for the days before so much responsibility had been given to him, to be carefree and joyous, a wild thing of nature born upon the wind again.
He closed his eyes and breathed deeply once more. This darkness would pass, no fear, no matter how terrible, could last forever. Joyous days in the sun and snow would come again.
And until that time would come again he would be ready.
It felt like just a moment had passed but Jack was startled when he realized he'd dozed off again. Sitting up he stretched and looked up the hill, he did not see Elsa at the chapel. Perhaps she was still inside?
A tell-tale glimmer of white caught his eye and he saw her outside the cemetery, up on the cliffs at the edge of the fjord.
Jack floated up and flew over the cemetery towards her, gently landing several paces behind her. She was standing before two large stone markers, similar to the ones at the edge of the forest, though these were carved with names.
He held back, not wanting to intrude, but she seemed to sense his presence. Running her hands over the names she spoke, "My mother and father were lost at sea. It wasn't until several years into my reign that my sister and I found out they'd left on the journey to try and find out more about my powers. In hopes of helping me understand and control them."
Her fingers traced the well-worn letters, "After I took on my role as the fifth spirit of the forest I thought I had finally found my place. I still feel like I did, but now sometimes my memories of all of the people I left behind haunt me more than anything else. I didn't understand all of what I would be letting go of when I took up this life. That I would have to keep going, long after they have all become but a memory to me alone. More often than not, I feel as if I have become a ghost."
A few tears escaped her control, "I'm terrified that someday, after so many years I will forget their names, their faces and yet sometimes I wonder if it would be better if I could forget. Then maybe it wouldn't hurt so much."
Jack did not speak, but walked up to stand beside her, his feet crunching in the light snow. Taking a deep breath he watched the ocean and sea ice crash upon the rocks far below. He thought of his mother and his sister, of the life he never got to have, that he spent years not even able to remember but still earnestly missed, of what he'd been given in its stead.
Exhaling, his eyes drifted up to the stars as he searched for words, "It would still hurt," his voice was nearly as rough as the crashing waves, "The only difference would be you wouldn't know why."
Looking over at him, at that moment, Elsa could see every one of his years in the color of his eyes and the crease of his brow. He looked almost nothing like the fresh-faced boy who'd fallen out of the sky and into her life a few months ago.
"When I became a spirit I awoke from beneath that frozen pond with no memory of my past. I couldn't even recall my own name, the Moon told me that." His eyes roamed the sky, the stars were bright but the moon had yet to make an appearance. "I spent 300 years wondering, yearning, desperate to find out who I was, why I was even here."
Jack turned back to face her, "Most of that time I spent being a brat." A mirthless chuckle escaped him, "I pranked and harassed mortals and spirits alike. Bunny still likes to complain about the Easter blizzard of '68. I was so desperate for attention I didn't care what kind it was."
Leaning on his staff, he looked down, toeing the snow, "I spent all those years being mostly an ass, thinking, 'Why me? Why am I here? What can I do to be seen?' I thought I could never know who I am without knowing who I had been. It took Pitch Black nearly swallowing the world in nightmares for me to realize it wasn't about me, only then was I able to get some of my memories back." He shrugged helplessly.
"I'm not even sure where I was going with any of this. But, just…For most of the last 300 years, I had no memory of my family. I could have walked past them in the street and not known them, but I still missed them. I knew I was missing something all that time."
Elsa remained quiet, she had thought his missing memory had been due to his age, but that appeared to not be the case. She felt a little bad now, having brought up his sister and his death. His missing memories had clearly been of great distress to him.
Jack shifted his weight, his gaze returning to the sea below, he hoped her silence wasn't because he'd somehow upset her. "I didn't mean to like – say that it's not painful to remember and miss them, or that feeling one way or the other is better or worse. Just, well both are difficult but –" He stopped when he felt her hand slip into his.
Looking down at their joined hands he swallowed thickly and looked back into her eyes. She gave him a small smile, so fragile and tiny it made his chest ache to see it. Damn, he felt terrible at this, giving deep soul-searching advice was more North's forte, not his.
"I understand what you meant," her words were a whisper, "It's difficult sometimes, especially this time of year. I miss them so much, sometimes it hurts so much that I forget," she squeezed his hand, "that the pain is a reminder of how much I loved them. I would be heartbroken to forget that."
They stood hand in hand for a few moments, silent but for the crash of waves and the hush of falling snow.
Jack flew them back to her sleigh afterward, gently setting her down in the seat next to her scarf before lowering down beside her. He heaved a relieved sigh as they settled in and the reindeer took their place before them.
"Mary."
When Jack spoke, Elsa had just been about to hitch the reindeer to the sleigh with her magic. "Pardon?" she asked.
Smiling Jack turned to her, "My sister, her name was Mary."
Elsa smiled brightly at him and managed to blink away the tears that tried to fall. As they left Arendelle and headed back to the Enchanted Forest it was the first time in many years she had not felt only melancholy for her former home.
By the time they reached near Elsa's home in the Enchanted Forest, it was very early morning, the moon had finally risen and Jack had fallen asleep again. Gale greeted her as she stepped down from the sleigh, swirling around her before going over to Jack, her gentle whirling woke him. With bleary eyes, he reached for his staff and floated up and over to Elsa. With a wave of her hand, she released the snow deer, keeping the sleigh for later sounded like a good idea.
In the distance Jack could hear the rush of water, they were near the river.
"It's not too much further, this way" She motioned along a narrow path and Jack followed after her, half walking, half floating. They ambled up along the path as it grew a bit steeper, the rush of water getting louder until a waterfall came into view. The slope had become rockier as they went until finally reaching what was a bit of a stone plateau. Turning around a narrow corner there suddenly was her home, built into and around the rocky slope it worked with the natural terrain, fitting snugly into the hillside as if it had always been there.
Made from stone and her ice it blended into the environment, flying overhead he might have never noticed it.
With a wave of her hand, she opened the door for them. "Please come in."
Jack ducked a little as he followed her inside. It was dark until she flicked her hand, a bright blue snowflake hovered above her open fingers, offering a gentle light as she shut the door behind them. She created a second one, set it in ice with a flick of her wrist, and placed it on her small table.
"I'll be right back" she hurried over to the far end of the single room leaving the one snowflake on the table and he watched amused as she created stairs from ice as she went to the second level.
Curiosity getting the better of him Jack let his eyes wander, taking in the room. There was a small hearth on the wall that backed up to the rocky hillside, but the fire's embers were long dead. A simple wooden table was nearby, but most of the chairs were made of ice. In the corner was what looked to be a large sofa, also made of ice, but covered with old blankets and furs. There were many books scattered around, along with a very impressive bookcase and a small writing desk. Some of the furniture was very fine, while others were quite rustic as if pieces had been added haphazardly over time. He loved the smell, old wood, and worn fabric, but also the damp soil of the forest and her ice. It gave a pleasant, earthy feel to everything.
The perfect home for a nature spirit.
He'd just run his fingers over the spine of a well-worn book when he heard her returning down the stairs. Her shoes made almost musical sounds as they tapped against the icy steps.
Nibbling on her bottom lip she glanced down briefly as she handed him a stack of clothes, "These were my nephews, sorry they might smell a bit musty, they've been in my trunk a long time. I thought you might like to sleep in something that hadn't been soaked in seawater."
Truthfully, Jack could sleep just about anywhere, wearing anything right now he was so tired, but he appreciated the gesture nonetheless. He stood there awkwardly for a moment before it seemed to dawn on Elsa.
"Oh, here!" she flicked her wrist and created a dressing screen, "I'll just be upstairs for a moment." Elsa quickly went back upstairs and hoped the low light was enough to hide her heavy blush.
Jack watched her hurry up the stairs with a bit of a lopsided grin before heading behind the dressing screen to change.
Upstairs Elsa refrained from grabbing a pillow from her bed and screaming into it, she really had spent too much time on her own. Somewhere Anna must be laughing at her and her apparent inability to function around another person.
She highly doubted Jack expected queenly etiquette from her but this was ridiculous. Shaking her head she flicked her wrist and her dress dissolved and reshaped itself into her night dress. She then removed a spare quilt from the foot of her bed. If he was like her Jack wouldn't get cold, but would still appreciate soft and comfortable things.
She was about to head back downstairs when she realized she was only in her nightdress and stopped, quickly creating a dressing gown to fit over it. After awkwardly standing at the top of the stairs for a moment to give him more time she slowly descended back down.
Her nephew had been very tall, taking after Kristoff, and poor Jack was nearly swimming in the trousers she'd given him. He was currently working on rolling up the sleeves of the dark blue shirt. She refused to let her eyes linger on his exposed collarbone as he bent down to roll the pant legs up.
"Here," she offered him the quilt when he straightened back up, "I can make a bed from ice for you if you'd like?" Her space was a bit small, but she had made room for Anna and Kristoff many times in the past.
Jack shrugged taking the quilt and floated over to the sofa landing with a dramatic flop, "This will do just fine, compared to sleeping in a tree Elsa, this is like – fancy."
Elsa bit her lip, hiding a bit of a smile, and nodded, "Well, goodnight Jack."
"Sweet dreams Elsa."
Elsa turned and headed back up to her bedroom. Removing her dressing gown she hung it on the end of her bed before sliding beneath her old worn blankets. Sleep did not find her right away and she lay there staring at her ceiling, wondering about everything she'd learned today about Jack.
She intrinsically felt something had shifted in their friendship but wasn't quite sure how or what it would mean. At the very least she thought she understood him better than she had before. There was far more to him than just a mischievous spirit who loved pranks and snowball fights. He was a protector of children and his standoff with the Nokk reminded her of how they met fighting Nightmares.
In the months between she'd nearly forgotten about it. He was always so lighthearted when he visited and never complained or bragged and was reluctant to even tell her he'd been injured. He'd been through just as much if not more than she had in the past and had found his place. The more time she spent with him the more she began to see that she still had much she might be able to give to the world.
As she lay there wondering the sound of light snoring reached her.
Jack had fallen right asleep, she could not stop the giggle that escaped her. Below the snoring stopped and she held her breath before it started up again a moment later. A smile lingered on her lips and Elsa took comfort in his presence as for the first time in over a century she fell asleep without the coil of loneliness in her chest.