Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo Ghoul. It belongs to its rightful owners.

CHAPTER FOUR: FONDNESS

NANA

"There is really something special about you that I can't quite explain."

- Unknown

ANTEIKU HAD SLOWLY became the frequent hang out spot for my small group of friends and I. It had became my favorite most anticipated part of the day. Hideyoshi and often found ourselves sneaking off there whenever we were running out of energy between classes for their famous americano coffees. Yumiko tagged along whenever she could get away from her many club activities. Kaneki, though often busy with studies or nose deep into his latest book, was who I usually showed up with. We stopped there every day after classes on the way home to engage in an hour-long study session. Either that, or to just relax and unwind from our busy days.

Slowly, but surely, I was finding my own groove in my little part of Tokyo.

Some days I even found myself sitting there alone. I often jotted things down in my notebooks while the scent of coffee and pastries filled the shop. It gave me a sense of almost . . . existing in a way-to be around the sounds of people living their own unique and separate lives. I couldn't hear it, of course, but I felt the humanity around me with every trip to Anteiku. To see the smiling faces of others stopping by for a moment to enjoy the same coffee made me feel like I was no different than them. They all were no different than me.

There was no hearing. There was no deaf, or blind, or crippled, ghouls, humans, or anything in between. We were all alive, and partaking in the same sweet aroma. We were all alive and existing in Anteiku.

Across the wooden table I sat at, Kaneki gave me a confused look. I had almost forgotten that he was there with me. He was such a quiet person regardless if I could hear him or not. We were in another one of our evening hang outs as we waited for our orange-haired friend to show up and ruin the silence.

Two books sat on his side of the table. There was only one on mine with a notebook and fountain pen in between the two of us for communication. He had been sweet enough to take the time to watch a few online videos on sign language the past few weeks. Not that he suddenly became fluent or learned anything drastic. It was just a few words that saved us time and paper whenever he had something to say. I appreciated him for it. He was one of the only people in my life who had ever gone to such lengths to talk to me.

His hands signed words, shaky and unsure, "Are you okay?"

I smiled and nodded. A light giggle escaped my lips at the boy's attempt at communication. His cheeks reddened as his hand reached up to sheepishly play with his hair. He was trying. That alone was enough to make me happy.

We both had jumped when a hand flew between us to grab the paper and pen. Hideyoshi had finally decided to show up after staying late in his last class of the day. He dropped down into one of the extra seats, face slightly flushed pink, strands of orange hair sticking to his forehead with light sweat, and shrugged the red jacket off his shoulders. He slid the red headphones on his head down around his neck. I assumed he ran all the way here as to not waste anymore time out of the group.

'I leave you two alone for just an hour and you're flirting again. Ugh,' he scribbled boldly onto the paper.

He plopped it down in the middle of the table so that we could read it. My eyes trailed from the note up to meet the slate gray eyes of the boy in question. His eyes were already on mine, brows furrowed in annoyance. He instantly began barking insults at our friend. It was too fast for me to read his lips; I could only make out the words shut up and not funny. Hideyoshi laughed at him.

Kaneki grabbed the pen with a roll of his eyes. 'As we were saying before we were so rudely interrupted-Nana's cooking dinner tomorrow. Are you going to come over?'

Hideyoshi replied, 'Oh, shit! Of course I'm comin'! Whose place are we meeting at?' followed by a serious of happy faces and stars.

'Mine,' I wrote onto the paper. 'Kaneki helped me pass another test. Dinner's on me again.'

Our daily study sessions had been a big help to me. I was very thankful for my friendship with him. Everything that I missed in class, he would fill me in with his notes and vice versa. We were an unbeatable team. I would've been very surprised if we didn't have the best scores in class due to our little alliance. Because of him, I no longer had to give my mother anymore sad text messages about me failing a test. We was part of the reason why the past month we had been inseparable.

He shrugged in a way that meant it was nothing. He had told me yesterday that I helped tremendously with one his story analyses. He was profound in the horror genre and tended to stay on that side when it came to picking apart things to write about. I was more of a mystery and thriller kind of girl, so my input on his books gave it more dimension and a new perspective. At least, that was what our Japanese Literature professor had wrote on his paper in red ink.

I had decided on writing about a coming-of-age story my mother recommended. It was about a woman who moved to Paris to start a new life. I kind of related with her having myself came from a mountain town to the exciting, bustling city life in Tokyo. There, she met the man of her dreams, they quickly fell in love, and he ended up getting her sister pregnant when she flew out to visit. It was a dramatic tale that Kaneki turned his nose up at when I explained it to him. However, after reading my paper on it, he sat across from me as we sipped our coffees, on the eighty-eighth page of the book. Who would've known I'd get him to read a dramatic romance?

I gave Hideyoshi a smile as I wrote to him that he was more than welcome to come. He was no stranger to my home-none of my friends were. My place was often one of our hang out spots if none of us felt like being out in public. He and Yumiko had even slept over before after they had had one too many beers at Big Grill. My home was everyone's home. The door was always open for my friends.

Plus, he was known for eating fast food, convenience store foods, and snacks. Yumiko warned him countless times that if he didn't start eating more homecooked meals that he was going to go into cardiac arrest-however true that was. He didn't care. If no one cooked it for him, Hideyoshi wasn't going to make it, and that was that on that. He was a microwave guy, as he always said.

His eyes skimmed over the words that were written on the paper. I told his that we were going to be studying, reading, and just hanging out in general while I cooked. Kind of like a book club that Kaneki and I had formed within ourselves. His face turned up into a look of disgust. Obviously the idea of coming over for more school was not his kind of party.

'Yeah, actually . . . never mind,' he wrote with a frown.

We laughed at his change of mind. I promised to make extras to pack him leftovers so he wouldn't have to suffer through our 'fun.' At that, he gave a thumbs up of approval, saying he didn't want to intrude on our dinner date, anyways. Kaneki kicked him from underneath the table.

The gray-eyed boy's phone lit up to flash a notification across the screen. He stood up and gathered his belonging meaning it was time for him to leave. I wouldn't have been surprised if he was late for something again. He was good for getting lost in time especially if Hideyoshi was around.

He wrote on the paper that he was to go and apologized for leaving us so soon. We waved him off. After putting his money down on the table, he was gone, weaving out of Anteiku and into the busy streets of Tokyo.

I looked out of the window as he went. You'd be amazed how many people walked around buried in their phones. A group of high school girls in white and red uniforms walked past with sodas and smiles. One of them seen Kaneki walking past and giggled to her friends. Her friends, in turn, glanced back at him and joined in her giggling. High school girls with a crush . . .

Hideyoshi looked from the window, to me, then wrote down, 'What the hell? He just walked past a group of girls checking him out. He's so dense; he never notices things like that. Why don't you and him do each other a favor and start going out? You can both be awkward and antisocial together.'

I didn't know what Hideyoshi's problem was lately. He had been trying to force the narrative that Kaneki and I were flirting with each other for the past week or so now. Kaneki swore he never mentioned anything about it to him. Our friend just decided out of the blue that he wanted us to be together. Much to our dismay and embarrassment.

I made a face and waved him off. 'Not this again, Hide. He's not my type.'

'What is your type, then?'

In all honesty, I didn't know. I never really thought about it. I was usually too busy in my own little world, or imagining the worlds of others, that I never thought of going out with someone.

So, in order to not seem as reclusive as I was, I answered dumbly, 'Tall, dark, and handsome.'

He raised a thick brow. 'So . . . Kaneki.'

'Kaneki is not that tall. He's only a few inches bigger than me. And he's the palest person in the school,' I argued with a frown.

Hideyoshi rolled his eyes. That didn't matter. None of it did. I never thought of dating in the first place.

He sat there intently reading as I wrote the story about my first crush. I was fourteen-years-old at the time. I had already lost my hearing years ago by that point, and in the school years that was the easiest way to lose your friends. I was different than everyone else. I had to stay after school to get extra help. I had to be assisted in things that the other students didn't have to. At the thoughtless age of fourteen, having a disability was a social suicide. More so that I lived in such a town where everyone's grandmother knew everyone's grandmother from the bingo center. The word of me going basically deaf had spread like the plague.

But, there was one boy. I still remembered his face. He was the star of the basketball team-all curly brown hair and blue eyes. Every girl at school had a crush on him. He was my class president and at every event with a white smile. My mother had persuaded me to confess to him saying that the worst he could do was say no. I would miss one hundred percent of the shots that I didn't make. I was terrified.

After school on one spring day, I asked him out. He was covered in sweat having just finished basketball practice. He watched my shaky hands sign my confession to him in confusion. He didn't understand me. I quickly dug in my bag to pull out a notebook and wrote my feelings into words for him. He had scratched the back of his head, looking around us awkwardly, before shaking his head no. He pointed a finger up to his ear then at me. You can't even hear me, he seemed to say.

I thought guys had a thing for girls who weren't like the others. Apparently, I was a tad too much not like them. I nodded shyly before walking home with that notebook page held closely to my chest. My mother cooked me a nice dinner that night in attempt to cheer me up. The damage had already been done. I was never asking another guy out again until I could ask him with my voice and hear his response. If that day ever came.

Hideyoshi looked like his eyes were going to tear up. He picked up the pen lightly as if debating his response to my short story. The words he wrote made me laugh in a way that only he could. Leave it to him to always be my own personal hype man. It was one of the reasons why he was one of my closest friends.

'Guys are such assholes. He missed out, seriously. Don't let that get you down. Any guy in his right mind would be lucky to have you. You're super smart and the nicest person ever!'

Then, next to it in very tiny words, he wrote, 'Kaneki would be lucky to have you. He wouldn't do that.'

I wrote down something to tease him. 'You're so worried about us; why don't you ask Yumiko-chan out?'

His face twisted up again and I laughed. Hideyoshi was so easy to mess with. It was his favorite pass time to fluster the rest of us. When it came to him, though, he felt like he was under a personal attack.

'Ew. Gross. Don't bring that up again. She's like my older annoying sister always telling me to eat vegetables,' was his written reply.

'Stop bring Kaneki and me up, then.'

'Never. It's going to happen. I want it to happen.'

I rolled my eyes. Neither of us had a foot into the romance department. Or, at least, not with our friends-which was how it should be. I was pretty sure Hideyoshi could easily go find him a girlfriend that could make him as many dinners as he wanted. He was funny, protective, outgoing, and was handsome enough with his bright hair and personality. Me, on the other hand, would take some work and someone willing to keep a pen and paper at all times.

'I'll find the right guy one day,' I assured him. 'As of right now, I'm just happy spending time with all of you and finishing school. We're only eighteen.'

Hideyoshi shrugged, and wrote, 'You never know. You could've already met your Prince Charming somewhere. That's how the books you read go, anyways. That's how life works. It's crazy and never works on your time.'

Wasn't that the truth.

I took another couple swallows of my americano as I glanced over at the display television. They had is switched onto the local news station. There was a beautiful green-haired woman on screen explaining that it was going to be windy the next few says. Not too hot, though, and not too cold. At least the days have been starting to get somewhat consistent the past week.

It then turned to a serious-looking crime scene full of caution tapes and flashing blue and red lights. A man came on the screen telling the events that had started a few days ago. There was a crazed ghoul on the loose, he claimed. One without the slightest care who it was, where it was, or what they had going on; if they seen you, you were sure to become it's next meal. It was causing quite the stir here in the 20th ward. There had even been announcements of them considering canceling all night cram schools, classes, and events to be rescheduled to continue at a later date. Some of the afterschool clubs had already began temporarily shutting down.

He begged everyone in the Nerima district to please lock their doors and windows after sundown as most of the murders occurred at night. They had found the mangled up corpse of a forty-three-year-old woman whom was still in her torn up work attire and heels. She must have been walking home from her job by herself when she was spotted. I instantly felt bad for her family when they announced her name. However, she wouldn't be the first nor last victim as the CCG agency had yet to identify the serial killer. Whoever this was was messy and fast. Hopefully, it would only be a matter of time.

I had heard of something like this happening when I was around the age of twelve. There was a ghoul who loved to frequent the onsens. They found at least six bodies in them, and bathhouses lost their popularity for a good four months. It wasn't until they were caught did people think about going again. I could only imagine how many people were thinking about moving their children to another ward. Binge eating ghouls were destructive.

It brought a frown to my face, though. It had been a while since I heard anything major about ghouls. Of course, the occasional dead body would be found of those who thought they were untouchable and shouldn't remain cautious. But, now there was another spree, and a new fear would be present in the community until it was dealt with. I sighed.

Hideyoshi looked away from the television to write on the almost full page of notebook paper. 'It's almost sundown. Are you going to be walking home alone?'

I nodded. It had completely slipped my mind. I should have asked if Kaneki was going home, and if so, would it have been okay for us to walk together. Not only would it be dangerous for me to go home alone this late, but I hoped that he wasn't somewhere out and about it town later on.

Hideyoshi shook his head as if he disapproved. 'I can walk you home.'

It was sweet of him to offer. I accepted it with a smile. He himself only lived a few blocks away from Kaneki and I. I wouldn't feel too paranoid about him walking the rest of the way alone. It was safer in pairs. Still, that was not enough to stop a ghoul, warned the guy from the news station. It was better to stay inside at night until the cause of the problem was found.

We left our money on the table for the waitress as well as her tip. I gathered my things into my bag which Hideyoshi insisted on carrying for me. I had refused at first, but he wasn't going to take no for an answer. He was a gentleman at heart. His mother had instilled that in him saying it was a good quality for a man to have. I told him it was just slightly outdated and women could take care of themselves. He had replied with an eye roll as usual.

The sun had just began to make it's way down the horizon. The sky was littered with swirls of oranges, pinks, purples, and blues. It was the perfect sunset like something imagined for a movie or a photo in a New York art gallery. There were few clouds today. An airplane flew high through them in the air off towards the East. Maybe someone inside was off to one of those art galleries in the Big Apple.

All the high schoolers had started to say their goodbyes to their friends and make their ways home. They tended to stay out later, but the warnings on tv were too much for them to ignore. Even my own mother sent me a text every now and then to make sure that I was at home. She still kept up with my district news all the way in Karuizawa to make sure she knew what was going on. I could imagine what the high schoolers' parents were telling them at home.

Businessmen drove down the streets in their cars rushing each other to go faster. I doubted they were in a rush to get home. A lot of them frequented the bars and restaurants after work to relax themselves. They worked stressful jobs. I couldn't blame them for wanting to get a beer or two in before they were off to go home, sleep, and repeat the day over again.

A few ways away was the restaurant that supposedly served the best udon. A boy with messy, brown hair and bags under his eyes walked out holding a bag of trash, uniform untidy just like his hair. It was none other than Hiroto Anzai on his millionth shift. How he managed to find time to eat between all the classes and work was a mystery. He tossed the bag in the garbage before letting out a tired yawn. One of the cans in the bag missed the trashcan and rolled onto the sidewalk. An instant black coffee drink-of course. He tossed it in and slammed the lid shut.

I raised my arm to wave at him. He seen me, putting a polite smile on, raising a hand to say hey back to me. It didn't last long. His feet dragged him back inside the restaurant where I could hear someone drunk yelling about another beer. I laughed. Poor guy.

Hideyoshi nudged me with his elbow to point at one of the convenience stores up the street. I nodded in agreement. I might as well buy something quick to eat for dinner anyways. I bet he had been thinking the same thing when he seen it. He prided himself on his ability to cook the best instant curry in Japan. It was still packaged at the end of the day, so I swore to him I would try some of his one day in order to see how it was oh so special.

The store was filled with bright lights that lit up every corner. We split up to find the things that we needed to bring home. He went over to the snacks and candies aisles. I parted ways to find the instant foods. It didn't really seem like the kind of night to cook since I would be cooking for Kaneki and I tomorrow. My fridge would be filled to the brim with leftovers.

I picked up two bags of instant curry. It was going to be a quick curry and rice kind of night again. It was a fast meal that would last me a day or two, and I never ran out of rice in my place. That was the easiest thing to get my hands onto on the way home. I also grabbed a few chips, drinks, and a bar of chocolate. They would do me justice with those between class munchies on school days.

Carrying my handful of items, I stopped by the magazine rack to see what was new in the celebrity world. Pregnancy, divorce, and cosmetic surgery. Nothing new.

We bought our snacks-Hideyoshi, of course, demanding to carry those bags, too-and made our way the last few blocks to my apartment complex. Up the street, more caution tape and flashing police cars blocked off one of the back alleys. I nudged Hideyoshi and pointed over to the scene. He shrugged. Hopefully, they hadn't found another eaten body back there. The binging ghoul was starting to get a little too close to home. Kaneki and I only lived ten minutes away from the latest scene.

I invited Hideyoshi in when we got to my apartment. We took our shoes off at the door, set the bags down, and he went to turn on the television. I took off my jacket as the news anchor announced the discovery of a new body. This time, it was a twenty-something-year-old man found with only one leg. Everything else had been torn from his body and taken as lunch. I shuddered at the mental image. It was starting to get to be too much.

Pulling out my notebook, I wrote to my friend, 'Go home. I don't want you to be out all late. It's dangerous.'

He laughed. 'Okay, Mom.'

He picked up his bags and ruffled my hair. I made him promise to text me when he got home. It didn't matter who it was, man or woman, it seemed everyone was getting attacked. He left quickly after that, locking the door behind him. I sighed. I definitely needed to tune out the news for a while. It was making me a tad anxious.

I knew the perfect way to calm myself. I flipped open the laptop that laid discarded on my bed in the corner of the room. My mom's name immediately flashed on the screen and I smiled at it. She must have been thinking about me, too. It was mother-daughter telepathy.

My mother started with video call with a grin. The small wrinkles around her eyes were softened as if she had a good day today. I could see the love in her hazel eyes even though it was virtually. Her purple-black hair was slicked up into a neat bun that meant she must have recently came home from work. She owned one of the resorts in my home town. She always dressed professionally and had the stern no-nonsense work attitude to match.

I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. I didn't brush through it after Hideyoshi messed it up. It was only a matter of time before she said something about it, claiming college was turning me into one of the girls who walked around in flip flops and uncombed hair. Not that there was anything wrong with it. She would almost have a heart attack, though.

"My baby!" she signed to me, grinning and full of obvious excitement. "How are you? How was school?"

I was still attempting to fix my hair as subtly as possible. "It was okay. I passed my Japanese Literature test."

She clapped and said congratulations. She always made a show to show that she was proud of me. My mother herself didn't really have the opportunity to go to college since she fell pregnant with me right after high school. I supposed in a way she was living the life through me. She was always so happy to hear about my college life, tests, classes, and school events. She had even been pressuring me to join an afterschool club.

I had long since told her it was never too late to go. We were in the age where she could even take a couple of online courses if she wanted. It wouldn't interfere with her job. But, she claimed that she was too old, she was already taking over my grandparents resort, and didn't have time for college. It wouldn't be the same as experiencing the eighteen through twenty-something-year-old fun college life. I assumed she got most of that information from movies because college was not full of parties and people running around naked. If anything, we were stressed, tired, and trying not to get kicked out for academic probation.

"How are your friends doing?" she asked me.

My mother hadn't met everyone yet. Yumiko and Hideyoshi happened to be having lunch at my apartment when my mother video called one day. I answered while the two were arguing in the background. She had ignored me and instantly started asking who they were and was happy to meet my friends. They both had got emailed resort coupons that day if they ever wanted to visit town. Hideyoshi had beamed saying he'd never met a mom who gave out fifty percent off hotel room discounts.

I laughed at the memory. "They're okay. Hide just left; he walked me home. Yumiko went to take her little sister shopping today."

"That was nice of him. It's too dangerous out there right now. Oh! Are you coming home for the holidays?" my mother asked. "You should ask Yumiko if she wants to come. She's so sweet."

"I'll ask her, Mom. She still has her coupon, after all."

"Oh, she might as well stay at the house for free!"

Leave it to my mother. She was such a welcoming person . . . unless you worked for her. Then, she was ruthless. The business had been dying when my grandparents passed it own to her. She picked it back up quickly, her first order of business being to change out all the outdated rooms and firing everyone who worked there. One of the kids at school held a grudge against me for her mother losing her jobs for a good six months.

"I have more friends than just them two, you know," I signed to her. "There's this girl in my class: Kimi. We've been pretty friendly lately. There's my friend Anzai, too. He's a fourth-year at Kamii. Oh, and my neighbor, Kaneki. You've seen him, I think."

She nodded. "Oh, the one with the black hair. He has pretty eyes."

I had always thought his eyes were pretty, too. He was the first person I'd ever met with gray ones like that.

"What are you eating for dinner?"

I paled. "Um . . . I picked up a pack of instant curry from the store."

My mother rolled her eyes like I knew she would. "You need to cook an actual dinner not instant meals. I read that freshman college students have the whole instant meals thing bad."

"I do cook! Kaneki is coming over tomorrow, and I'm cooking. I didn't feel like doing it two days in a row."

Her eyes went wide before narrowing into slits. I knew that look. It was the same look Hideyoshi had been giving me all week. It was the look she gave me when I told her I had a crush on the basketball player. It was the look of someone finding out about someone else's love life. Unfortunately, the boy in question would have been Kaneki, which would not be the case.

"Are you guys dating?" She signed so fast I almost missed it.

I deadpanned. "No. What is with everyone asking that lately? Hide just suggested the same thing."

Her shoulders shook with a sudden laugher. "Aw. You're getting older, Nana. You're bound to be interested in boys. Or girls. Whichever you prefer. It's gonna happen."

"Mom!"

I could feel the heat rushing to my face. Was there something everyone else was seeing that I wasn't? Kaneki was just a good friend of mine. He was working his way up to being my best friend. We were together every day, shared everything, lived next to each other, had the same class, and would go out together, but that was it. To me, that was normal friend activity. Right? Did everyone think I was spending too much time with him?

"I have good news!" she signed, and I was thankful for the subject change. "Remember how I told you that I upgraded our insurance plan months back? They finally called me agreeing to cover half the costs of your ear surgery! Hopefully next year I'll be able to cover the other half."

I smiled. "That's good news! I can't wait."

The thought of hearing again kind of scared me. I wouldn't tell her that, though. I would kill her excitement about it. It had been years since I started going deaf. I forgot what some thing sounded like. The world was a soft and low hum to me, so the thought of the sudden loudness was shocking. However, I knew this was a surgery that was ideal.

My mother got it when she was sixteen and it restored her hearing ability almost to one hundred percent when she got the bones separated. I'm older than she was at the time of it. I would be having my own experience unlike hers. I'd been hard of hearing longer than she had. The recovery process took a while in the hospital, too. There were so many cons and only one pro.

A notification flashed across my phone screen. Hideyoshi made it home.

I told my mother goodbye after we finished catching up. I closed the laptop with a sigh, thinking about the future and what was to come. "It's crazy and never works on your time," Hideyoshi had told me. And as I looked over at the television still displaying the caution tapes a few blocks away, I had never thought him to be more right.

I had been sitting at my white chabudai table when Kaneki came into my apartment the next day. I was seven chapters deep into my latest crime mystery and had sent him a text saying to just come in I'd leave the door unlocked for him. There was no need for him to knock extra loud for me to hear it. He'd slipped his shoes off at the door and came in softly as to not disturb me. Dressed in a black long-sleeved shirt and gray sweatpants, I assumed he'd just walked from his door straight to mine.

It was a beautiful day outside. Birds were flying high in the sky in flocks with their friends and families. Children were outside playing; they had a few more hours left before it was time to come inside. It was a lot quieter today than it had been yesterday. I supposed a lot of people decided to stay indoors after the body was found close to the apartment complex.

He gave me a smile when I waved at him. He'd placed his apartment keys on my counter, then walked over to put his books and belongings down across the table from me. Just like he always did. I instantly pulled out my notebook that was already halfway filled with our conversations. It was the fourth one we'd filled up.

He sat down with his legs folded, reaching for the book to write in it. 'How's your day so far?' it read.

I wrote back, 'Okay. Yumiko stopped by to bring me a matching keychain she bought us this morning.'

I pointed over to the keys on the counter by his. On my set, there was a cute little purple fog keychain that stood out against the white countertop. Yumiko's had been green. She had got me the purple one because she said it reminded her of my eyes. It was such a silly small trinket, but it was a gift from my friend nonetheless. She had thought about me while she was out shopping. I had accepted it gratefully and wasted no time attaching it to my keys.

'It's girly,' was his reply with a shrug of his shoulders.

I laughed. Of course he would think it was girly. It was bought for two girl friends.

He looked over at the book I was reading before asking what it was about. I explained that it was a twist on the story of Hansel and Gretel. Instead, it was with two sisters that got lost in the woods. There was an evil witch after them trying to feed their souls to her cursed daughter to keep her alive. It made you feel bad for both sides.

He said something about my love of thriller stories. I couldn't help it. It was something about the way the stories played with the mind of the reader to confuse them and manipulate the situation. One second you were on one side; the next second you were rooting for the other. It was dipping into the psychological workings of humanity and it always fascinated me. Such was the reason why I chose to be a psychologist. The mind would always try to find the hero in a situation, and sometimes it would be wrong.

I placed a bookmark into the book and closed it. It was already early evening time. I should've asked him what he wanted for dinner earlier so I could have gotten a head start on it. Though, I kind of had a feeling what he was going to say.

'What do you want me to make you for dinner? You can have whatever you want as long as I have the stuff for it,' I wrote him.

He mouthed the words hamburger steak just like I knew he would. I was starting to get to know him too well. It was his favorite food; if he could eat it every day he would. We often went to Big Grill, his favorite restaurant, just so he could continuously try to convince me it was more superior than all foods ever made. I had to beg to differ. But, because he helped me get a passing score on my test, I would cater to his request this one time.

Already figuring he would want that, I had went and got the ingredients for it this morning with Yumiko. She herself had to go shopping for her own house as he mother had picked up extra hours at the office. She had brought along her sister which was my first time meeting her. I had been confused when I caught sight of them. She was years younger, but the two looked like twins.

I got up to get started on dinner. He perked up seeing that I was leaving. With as much little confidence as possible, he signed to me asking if I needed help cooking. I nodded. Sure, why not? It would be new to have someone else in the kitchen with me. I hadn't cooked with anyone since I moved out of my mother's house.

We made our way to my tiny kitchen. I began taking out everything I needed for the hamburger, veggies, rice, and miso soup. I wouldn't just be cooking for us two tonight. I needed to have plenty of leftovers, so it would have to be big portions. Some would be going to Hideyoshi, Yumiko had asked to save her some, and I wouldn't feel like cooking tomorrow or maybe the next day as well.

I made work of pulling out the veggies. Retrieving my knife, cutting board, and washing them off, I moved them over to Kaneki to allow him to chop them. Of course, he looked a bit confused. He didn't ask for help as he shakily began to cut up the vegetables. He had tried to cut up the carrots in small, even slices. I got worried a few times that he would cut himself. Maybe this would be a bit more difficult than I thought.

I had just the thing to lighten the mood.

After I washed the rice a few times and placed it in the rice cooker to cook, I got out the lone bottle of sake that I kept in my refrigerator for social emergencies. It seemed like one of those times. The both of us felt a little on edge for some reason in the cramped kitchen. Perhaps there was something intimate about cooking with a friend. Either way, a drink or two would hopefully lighten the mood . . . as well as lighten up the way he was holding the knife.

I waved it over to my friend with a smile. His handsome eyes went wide for a split second before settling into a look of interest. It was almost as if he was thankful for the offer. I had expected him to decline, honestly, but he opened my cabinet to get out two cups, and motioned for me to pass it to him. I did. The two cups were filled and one was passed to me. The both of us took a few sips.

The hamburger steak was molded and placed in a pan to sizzle. The miso soup had been seasoned, boiled, and was cooking silently on the stove. I placed the veggies he oh so professionally chopped up to steam and took a few more sips of our cups.

"You can go back to studying. I got it from here," I signed to him.

I doubt he understood what I said. I pointed at the table, then made a shoo-ing motion with my hands. He got that. He made his way out of the kitchen to leave the rest of the cooking to me. Everything was just about done. We were just waiting on everything to finish cooking, and dinner would be served. I was grateful for his help.

Once everything was done, I plated our foods, and brought Kaneki's out to him first alongside another cup of sake and a bottle of water. He was nose deep into one of the new books he had gotten from the school library. I recalled him explaining the plot, but I had tuned him out, not wanting any spoilers. He looked up at me and to the food in my hand. What he offered me was a sweet smile that told me it looked good.

'Thank you. It looks amazing,' he wrote down on the notebook on the table.

I smiled. Glad to hear it!

I sat down across from him with my own plate of food and sake. He had already began working at the hamburger steak. He was quiet; that was a good thing. A silent mouth was a fed one, as my grandmother used to say.

My television droned on in the background. A show played on the screen about a guy getting a kid's cat out of a tree. I watched as the subtitles danced across the bottom of it. Apparently the kid had a grudge against the guy and demanded that he left his cat stuck in the tree for the fire department to get down. He got his wish for the guy fell from a branch anyways, everyone around errupting into laughter. He rubbed his head with a frown-how embarrassing.

The food was good. It paired nicely with the alcoholic beverage to bring out a spiciness that I usually never cooked with. I was trying to show out a bit for my friend. Thankfully, it worked, for he was even eating the broccoli that was on his plate. Hideyoshi would've had a heart attack if I gave him broccoli.

I raised my then half-drank glass up to him. He stared as if debating if he wanted to join in before slowly raising his, too. Our glasses clinked and we downed them. That would be enough for tonight. No more for me.

When we were done, I stood up to take the plates into the kitchen. He followed behind offering to wash the dishes. I allowed him. It felt good to have some help. He stood in front of the sink with a goofy smile while I made work of storing away the leftovers. I was a bit clumsy due to the sudden wave of alcohol that crashed over me, but we moved good together. We made a good team.

Enough extras were made for me to pack him some soup to take home with him. There was also enough for Hideyoshi who requested food every time that I cooked. I placed his in the refrigerator for the next time I seen him. Kaneki's was put into containers and packed neatly on the counter for him to take. Though, just as I was about to put the bottle away, Kaneki lifted up his glass as if asking me to drink another round with him. I paled. I wasn't intoxicated by any means-perhaps just a bit buzzed-but wasn't too sure if I wanted to keep going.

Screw it. You're with a friend!

He poured us our last cup, putting the top on and placing the half empty bottle back into my refrigerator. He had already finished the dishes and placed them on the drying rack. The counters were wiped down, the food was put away, and everything was back in place. With that said, we took our cups back over to the table.

We spent the next hour exchanging class notes and helping each other with assignments. We had got started on our story analysis essays that were due soon in our class. Well . . . rather he got started. I had formed all of three sentences on my paper while he brainstormed endless ideas on him. Maybe it was the sake we were sipping. More often than not I found myself staring down at my paper waiting for the thoughts to form. All I felt was a dull electricity buzzing throughout my body.

As soon as I thought it, Kaneki raised his glass like I did earlier. He wanted to finish the rest of it. Not wanting to back down, I clinked my glass against his, and he downed our drinks together. Okay . . . now that was the last cup.

I pulled the communication notebook closer to my end to write, 'So, what do you do for fun when you're not hanging out with everyone?'

He tapped his pen against his chin a few times before replying, 'I like to watch movies and read. Sometimes I'll go for a walk. You know, things like that.'

'Oh, you're pretty boring just like me,' was my response as I cackled.

He made a face. It looked like he was offended, and I burst into a fit of giggles. He was so kind and sweet that the angered expression didn't seem to fit him. He looked more like an upset child if anything. He sighed at my laughter.

But, it was true. I was boring myself. Drinking and studying with Kaneki then was the highlight of my week unless you counted homework and studying. My everyday life had started to become routine and mundane. It felt good to have someone to be boring with.

'I'm not boring. You aren't, either. Everyone else is just too exciting,' he wrote.

I smiled. 'I like your way of thinking.'

The conversation ended there. We returned back to our analysis papers. Kaneki's hands were moving a mile a minute with how much he had to say. That was why he got good grades. Whereas I was buzzed and blank, he was buzzed and thriving. I couldn't help but to watch as every new idea lit across his face before he expressed it into words on the paper. It was mesmerizing. Ken Kaneki was a genius in my eyes.

A small smirk had tugged at my lips when his gray eyes glanced up to me. He had caught me. I jumped a bit, eyes immediately returning back to the paper in front of me. I could feel my face heating up from embarrassment. What were the odds that he would catch me staring at him? I had been expecting him to be making a face, but when I stole another glance at him, he was looking back down at his paper with a smile.

There's no way my face isn't red.

Was it me who was acting weird? Was it the sake? I couldn't even tell anymore. I nervously rubbed my hands together, scribbling thoughts that hopefully aligned with the story onto the paper. I would go over it later. Right now, I was replaying the scenario in my head over and over. He caught me staring at him. Why was I staring at him?

About twenty minutes later, Kaneki reached for the notebook in the middle of the table. 'I should get back and start getting ready for bed.'

I nodded. The two of us made work of putting away all of our school supplies. I stashed away the notebooks and glittery pens that laid sprawled across the table. He placed his books into a neat stack to grab. I stood up to grab the leftovers that I had packed for them. He placed it on the stack of belongings with a mouthed thank you.

He smiled again. For the second time, I caught myself staring. He had a cute smile. It was one of innocence and genuine happiness. It was like a cool breeze on a hot day. It was the smile that he usually gave me. It was a smile that was all Ken Kaneki.

I mentally kicked myself. Maybe it really wasn't me who was thinking these thoughts. Everyone had been putting those thoughts into my head and the buzz I was feeling wasn't helping. Kaneki was not cute . . . right? I didn't even know anymore.

I walked him to the front door as he carried everything in his arms. I opened the door, standing in the doorway to make sure he got into his apartment safely. He fumbled with his key a bit, but he got it open, waved, and disappeared into his home. I shut my own door with a sigh. The confusion clouding my mind was a bit too much to shake off. So, as a remedy, I grabbed my cup, went to the kitchen, and poured myself another small glass.

I walked slowly back into the room while I sipped at it. A red notebook laid discarded on the small table. Kaneki had left one of them out of his pile. I sat down with my legs folded on the floor, all reason completely not even thought about. Placing the glass down, I flipped it open to see what he had wrote on the inside.

There was a little schedule list for the week inside. It was sort of like a daily planner. Reminders of his upcoming projects, papers, meetings, and whatnot were wrote inside in red ink. Next to today's date, the words 'dinner with Number 7' were wrote in near perfect handwriting. Smiley faces, hearts, and stars were decorated around it similar to how Hideyoshi wrote his notes. Next on the list read 'practice sign language.'

My lips tugged into a smile at the nickname he gave me. Number Seven? That was what Nana translated to; the nickname itself was clever. It was what my father used to call me before he left. Surely, Kaneki couldn't have known that, could he? I could feel my heart beat pick up a bit at the thought.

I closed the notebook and downed my cup. I would give it back to him first thing in the morning. I also wouldn't bring up the fact that I looked inside. That was totally an invasion of his privacy, but I couldn't help it. At least now I knew what that he thought I was a priority big enough to fit into his schedule. And to learn sign language for. I was truly lucky to have met him.

I wondered what it would have been like if we did date. Would it be like this everyday? Would we move in together after a year or two? Would I cook him dinner while he washed the dishes? Would we read books together and watch movies on the weekends? Would he like to go to Karuizawa with me one day? Would he even like it there?

I blushed at the thought. My face instantly fell into my hands with a groan.

"Oh, my goodness," I wailed. "I have a crush on Kaneki. What is going on, Nana?!"

I stood up to go take a nice, long, hot shower. Hopefully, I could rethink all of this while I washed off the sake from my system. There was no way . . .

Hello, everyone!

I do apologize for going on such a long hiatus. I had a house fire at the end of last year and unfortunately, my computer along with my ideas, stories, and everything was burned along with it. I lost the inspiration to finish my stories, but now I'm back, rewritten, and better than ever! The show must go on! Shout outs will continue next chapter for sticking around with me!

Fun Fact of the Chapter: Nana was originally supposed to have siblings.