"Wait, for real?" I stared at my computer screen in frustration, then hit the SEND button again. The same error message kept popping up: UNABLE TO CONNECT TO INTERNET. "What the hell does that mean, 'Unable to connect?!'" I opened a new tab and clicked on my YouTube icon. In moments, the website popped up, and I clicked on a video.

"Pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows! Pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows!" the song played for a bit before I closed the video. Going back to my email, I tried hitting the send button again.

"Goddamnit!" I growled in frustration as the same error message appeared on the screen. "What the hell is going on with this thing?" I leaned back in my desk chair and sighed, rubbing my nose in frustration. "Maybe it has to do with the connection Athena set up? I guess I could ask her about it."

I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, and wrote her a letter.

Dear Athena,

I have a question about my internet connection. I probably should have asked this a whole lot sooner, but I've been pretty distracted. I've been trying to send a message back home to let my job know I'll be taking some more leave, but the connection keeps on fritzing out. Can you tell me what's going on?

Jethro.

I placed the letter in the fireplace, then lit it. It was surrounded in a greenish flame, then vanished. I'd already tested the letter delivery system she'd promised, and it had worked, but it had taken her about an hour to respond to it the first time.

I stood from my desk and stretched. I'd been distracting myself from my homesickness that I'd nearly forgotten about it, but I'd been given a grim reminder about it just yesterday. The Poison Joke incident had really taught me a valuable lesson about how dangerous Equestria really was, or at least the Everfree Forest. Wars, famines, COVID or not, Earth is my home, I thought as I stared up at the ceiling.

There was a knock at the door. I felt a smile form on my lips as I turned and walked to my door. "That Zebra can be such a worrywart," I said to myself as I opened the door.

Sure enough, Zecora stood there, a large basket of exotic looking fruits in her mouth. "Hello, my savior," she said.

I quickly took the basket from her mouth and set them on the coffee table in front of my couch. "You know, you said two days ago that I could enter your house without permission, so the same can be said of you. No need to knock."

"Force of habit, I'm afraid," she said as she came in.

"Did you come to check in on me?" I asked as I took the basket and held it up. "That why you brought a care basket?"

She chuckled. "Well, you caught me," she said. "After yesterday, I was a bit worried, so I went foraging for some of the rare plants in the forest."

"Including a rainbow apple?" I asked, holding up an apple that had all the colors of the rainbow on it.

"That's actually called a Zapp Apple," she said, "They're only around on the tree for five days. I harvested this one last season and have been keeping my collection fresh using one of my potions," she explained. "Try one."

I looked it over, wondering which side to try first. Going with my gut, I went with my favorite color, green, and took a bite. My eyes widened and flavor exploded in my mouth. The texture was definitely that of an apple, but the flavors were unlike anything I'd ever had. I did taste a distinct apple-y taste, but there was something more. It was like all the different types of fruit flavors had been rolled into one. It was tangy, fruity, earthy, sweet, tart, and slightly acidic. I nearly fell back in surprise, but Zecora rushed over and caught me with her head. "Are you well?" she asked. "Are you still recovering from the Poison Joke?"

"No, that's not it," I said. "I was just overwhelmed by this flavor. That, and I haven't eaten since yesterday."

Her eyes widened. "Why not?!" she asked.

I sighed. "That Poison Joke thing reminded me that this not only isn't my world, but it's much more dangerous than I realized. I should have realized sooner, what with the Timberwolf attack, but aside from that, things haven't been too bad."

She gently nudged me to the couch and climbed up next to me. "You're homesick, aren't you?"

"Extremely." I turned to her. "How do you handle it so well? You smile so much, and you have a zest for life."

She chuckled softly. "I've been where you've been. During my first few months in the forest, I was pretty lonely and missed my home terribly."

"So how did you get over it?"

"What makes you think I completely got over it?" Zecora asked. "There are certain days where I miss home. But I keep reminding myself that I came here of my own accord, doing what I love and having fun doing it." She stopped, and her smile faltered. "But…I guess it isn't the same for you, is it?"

I shook my head. "I've been distracting myself by building the castle and exploring the world in my dreams, but even so, there's still that nagging sense in the back of my head. A sense of longing for home."

"I wish I was able to help you in some way, but I've never heard of such a spell that you say this Twilight Sparkle cast," she said sorrowfully.

"I know you would if you could," I replied, "but I'm starting to wonder if it's even possible to send me back. Why else would Athena have brought my house here and given me the power I have now?"

"Perhaps to protect you from the elements and the dangers of the forest," Zecora reasoned.

"Maybe so…yeah, that makes sense."

Zecora put a hoof on my knee and looked up at me. "Distractions can only lead you so far. I tried the same thing in my first few months, but I realized I was only running away. I can't fully relate to your situation, but I'll do anything I can to help alleviate your fears."

Just then, I saw a bright light from the fireplace. Looking over, I saw a scroll lying in it. "Pardon me, but Athena just replied to a letter I sent."

"By all means," she smiled.

I rushed over and opened the scroll. What I saw made my heart drop.

My dear Jethro,

I do apologize for not informing you about how you have all your amenities sooner. Please allow me to rectify that at once.

When your body was being transported from your world into Equestria, I was indeed following you in and bringing your house with me. However, at the same time I was creating infrastructures that would allow for your electricity, plumbing and internet to work. You can't see them but there are three crystals buried beneath your house's new location.

One turns the magic of this world into electricity. Another drains water from the air and groundwater and converts it into the water you drink. But the third is the largest. I downloaded, as it were, the entire internet as it was the moment of your departure onto the crystal. I'm afraid what you have now is all that you'll get. The portal back to your world wouldn't have stayed open long.

I'm truly sorry. I wish I could do more. I'll understand if you're upset or angry with me.

Athena

I dropped the scroll. I really was alone, now. Zecora was by my side moments later. "Jethro? Is everything alright? Anything I can do to help?"

I looked down at her. "No, but there's not much you'd be able to do to help."

She put her hoof on my arm. "You look unwell."

"I'm just getting a bit overwhelmed with some new information that Athena just sent me, that's all." How dare she? How dare she hide this from me?! She should have told me! As the thought crossed my mind, I came to another realization. If I'd been told just then, I'd probably have had a bigger freak out. I walked to my reclining lounge chair and collapsed into it, sighing as I threw my arm over my eyes.

"Would…you like a blanket?" I removed my arm from my eyes and looked at Zecora. She was standing by my chair and looking worriedly at me.

"No, but I appreciate the offer," I said with a sad smile. "I'm glad you're here, though."

"That is one thing you have that I never did," Zecora said. "Somepony to help you through your tougher times being away from home."

I put my hand on top of one of her hoofs, both of which were resting on my armrest. "Thank you. I really do appreciate it."

"Would you like something to help you sleep?" she asked. "It might help."

I looked up at the ceiling, thinking a bit. "No thanks, I'm sure I can fall asleep on my own."

The next thing I knew, she was throwing a blanket over me, and climbing on top of me, leaning down in a sort of Zebra loaf. I knew from her explanations that Ponies were generally more physically affectionate than humans, but I didn't realize Zebras were too. "At least let me help this way."

"I'm finding it harder to refuse," I chuckled, reaching over and booping her snout. "Thank you. I think I am getting sleepy…" I yawned and closed my eyes. I'm coming for you, Athena…

"That kind of information would have been nice to know beforehand, you know?" I stood in front of a frowning Athena. We were standing deep in the Everfree Forest this time around, far from the castle and farther still from Canterlot. "Maybe a little note before I had to ask?!"

"Jethro," she sighed, "I don't blame you for being upset-"

"Upset? UPSET?! Athena, I'm beyond upset! I'M PISSED!" The ground beneath me shuddered in response to my fury. "I'm grateful to have the internet, don't get me wrong, but it's more of a staticnet now!"

"I wish I could have done more," she muttered sadly.

I took a deep breath and sighed, rubbing my eyes. "I'm more upset that you didn't just send me a letter explaining it."

"I know this is no excuse, but believe it or not, I've been busy with many different things ever since coming back," she explained.

"Like what?"

She chuckled a bit. "Changing your body to better fit Equestria is actually taking more time than I thought. Normally, humans wouldn't be able to live here thanks to certain elements in the air, but I've been slowly changing your body."

I leaned against a tree. "I see," I said absently.

"Believe me, it's taking a lot of magic to change things around for you."

"But wait," I said suddenly, "what about when I go back home? Will those changes be undone?"

Athena's smile faded. "About that…I recently learned something about that spell Twilight used. As far as I know, there was only one way to teleport between dimensions, an ancient crystal mirror which allowed for travel between Equestria and another dimension completely unknown to us. That is, until you told me about the spell Twilight Sparkle used. I don't think that spell is going to work again."

"Why not?" I asked, swallowing.

"Interdimensional travel magic is unstable without two focal points in each universe," she explained. "You've seen Stargate, right? It's the same basic principle. When Twilight cast the spell, it went haywire. It was an extreme coincidence that it reached into your universe." She sat on her haunches. "If I had to guess, the location spell locked onto my magical signature, but since I was near you at the time, it locked onto the nearest native life form."

I slid down the tree, trying to process all that she was telling me. A part of me didn't want to believe her, but lies of omission aside, she'd never once seemed to lie to me before. "Is…there anything else?" I asked haltingly.

"I'm no expert on the spell that brought us here, but if I had to guess, it can't be cast for a long time again, and even then there's absolutely no guarantee it would send you back to your world. The chances are slim to none."

"So…I'm really stuck here, aren't I?" I chuckled mirthlessly. "Until I die…"

"Please don't think like that," Athena said. "You're not alone-"

"Yes I am!" I shouted angrily. "Oh sure, I might have you and Zecora as a neighbor, but no humans!"

"Jethro!" she had her hooves on her hips, looking at me with a frown. "Is that really important that those who help you are humans?"

I froze. I was about to say yes, but immediately felt guilty about it. I looked down. "Yeah…that was a pretty stupid thing to say, wasn't it?"

"Indeed it was," Athena replied. Her voice became softer and she walked over, putting a hoof on my shoulder. "But it's completely understandable. Thirty years of experience in a world unlike Equestria will have lasting effects on you. Why do you think I was so glad when you met Zecora?"

I took a breath, exhaling slowly. "It's just…I miss home a lot. I know I don't show it sometimes, but I do."

"When I was banished to Earth, chaos curse aside, I missed Equestria," she said, sitting next to me and looking at the sky. "It hurt being away from here. After the chaos curse was lifted, I began missing this world even more. Especially when I became alone…"

Damn, I forgot she was alone for so long… I scooted a bit closer to her and looked up at the sky along with her. "I'm still upset that you took so long to tell me, but I shouldn't have yelled at you like I did."

"I understand why you did it, and I forgive you," she replied. "I just hope you realize that you're not alone anymore."

I nodded. "No, you're right. I'm not…" I closed my eyes as the world around me swirled…

When I woke, it was late afternoon. I heard a gentle breathing in front of me. Opening one eye, I saw Zecora still sitting in her Zebra loaf position. I smiled slowly. "I'm glad you're here with me." Reaching for my phone, I opened it up and began browsing the web. "Staticweb or not, there's still plenty of use for you," I chuckled. "Let's get started, shall we?"