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The Glass Horse:
Little Brother
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The memory of the day my father died is sharp and clear. Father had taken his gray mare, Storm, out for an early morning ride, but he hadn't returned by breakfast as usual.

"He's probably nervous about the baby," Grandfather Jonathan had said. "Mithros knows I was just as nervous the sixth time as I was the first. Let him enjoy his ride."

At midday Grandfather changed his mind and sent some of my father's friends out to search for him. It was Lady Knight Keladry, or Auntie Kel, as I called her, who found him. He was sprawled on the ground, his head broken and bloodied on a rock. Storm was nowhere to be seen.

Later my grandmother would demand that a palace mage scry to find out exactly what had happened. That's how we learned of the massive snake that had spoked the usually placid Storm, who had bucked, throwing my father into the air. Uncle Liam tracked down the snake the next morning and killed it, declaring that no one else would suffer the same fate as my father.

Auntie Kel called for help, and some other knights helped her rush my father to the infirmary. Our chief healer, Duke Baird, sadly informed us that there was nothing he could do. My father was gone, likely before he'd even known what had happened.

I remember distinctly the moment when my mother was notified. She had retreated to a sitting room after breakfast, with my Uncle Liam and Aunt Vania to keep her company. I had no reason to doubt my grandfather's confidence that Da was simply out for a ride, and I was sitting on the floor next to Mother, playing happily with my dolls.

Auntie Kel came in with Duke Baird. Her face was emotionless, but her eyes were red and overbright with tears, and when she spoke quietly to my mother her voice was tight. Mother cried out and broke into rapid Yamani, speaking back and forth with Kel. Years later I learned that she had asked to be the one to tell Mother, to offer her that small comfort of speaking in her native tongue.

While they conversed, Duke Baird spoke to my aunt and uncle. I quickly realized that something was wrong. My mother gripped Auntie Kel's arm, then rushed from the room. I followed her, dragging my favorite doll behind me. Father had presented the doll to me on my fifth birthday, a gift sent from my aunt who the Empress in Carthak.

Mother went down to the part of the palace that I liked the least- the infirmary. I had been there before with gentle childhood coughs and bruises. I detested the many odd smells that permeated the air from the cabinets that were stuffed full of herbs and salves. I remember letting out a gasp as I gazed into the room Mother entered. My father lay on the examination table, his form stiff and lifeless. A bandage had been wrapped about his head to catch the blood.

My grandmother sat clutching his hand and holding it to her lips, her head bowed as she cried. Grandfather was at her side, shock and despair written across his face. Aunt Lianne was in the corner. Uncle Liam went to her, putting an arm around her and the other around Vania, trying to sooth his sisters' tears while banishing his own.

The most poignant part of this memory was my poor mother. She stood in the doorway, taking the scene in for a long moment. Both hands were on her enormous belly, which was accentuated by her loose pink gown and open kimono. Her hair was meticulously pinned back, each and every tendril perfectly in place as usual. Her face, though gravely pale, was smooth and emotionless.

I watched her eyes grow bright as she crossed the room. She let her tears fall as she gently ran her fingers over my father's handsome face. Slowly, she sunk down, sobbing quietly into his chest. I started to run to them, certain that if I got close enough Da would jump up and hug me. Uncle Liam was the first one to notice me, and he caught my arm and lifted me away, carefully blocking my view with his broad shoulders. I succumbed to my tears in his arms.

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When I think back to the three days between my father's death and his funeral, I don't remember much. I cried a lot. I was afraid to let my mother out of my sight, so I barely slept. My aunts and uncles saw how broken Mother was and took turns trying to console and entertain me.

I wasn't hungry on the morning of the funeral, but Grandmother made me sit down and eat a meal anyways. Then it was time to get dressed in our most formal mourning clothes. I hated my outfit. The gown was stiff, and the black lace itched against the skin on my wrists and neck. I'd also been forced to wear new shoes that pinched my feet.

I was a very unhappy princess who almost refused to even step foot into the crowded chapel. My grandfather saw me hesitating at the entrance to the chapel. He gave me a small smile. "We have to be steady, Lia," he whispered, as he lifted me to his hip and carried me into the chapel. Before the service began, the family took turns at the casket, gazing one last time at my father.

Mother and Grandmother Thayet went first, while I waited with my grandfather. Mother had adopted her Yamani mask. Later she told me that she'd said goodbye in private because she knew her every move would be watched during the funeral.

Grandfather Jonathan and I stepped up next. Uncle Jasson had returned from his tour of duty in the north just that morning. I had overheard heard Aunt Vania telling him that the servants who prepared my father's body for the funeral had done a good job. Now I secretly disagreed.

Da's face was stiff and somber, but when he was alive his eyes danced, and his mouth was always lit with a smile for me. At least he looked dashing in his shimmering, silver armor, accented with a cape and sash in Conté blue. His hands had been placed at his side, his sword in one.

Kindly, Grandfather did not linger over the casket, and soon I was sitting between him and my mother in the first row of the congregation. Mother pulled me closer as the ceremony began. The priests of the Black God were long winded, and I didn't understand most of what they said. I busied myself by counting all of the blue sections in the chapel's stained glass windows. There were 86.

When the service ended, six of my father's closest friends, Auntie Kel among them, rose to carry his casket down to father's final resting spot in the catacombs. Mother and I led the procession behind them. While the ceremony had been for anyone who wished to attend, this part of the day was only for my father's family and close friends.

Mother and I led the procession behind the casket. She clutched my hand in one of hers, the other firmly pressing her black gown against her belly.

We were halfway there when Mother suddenly doubled over, crying out in pain. I was filled with panic, thinking that I was going to lose her too- I didn't understand that this meant the baby was coming. My grandparents were at her side in seconds. Now Grandfather picked my mother up, carrying her to her chambers. They were followed closely by my "Uncle" Neal. Grandmother Thayet settled me on her hip, shushing me soothingly.

Mother was quickly settled in bed, and I had to wait in the corridor while she was given an examination. Uncle Neal soon announced that it would be several hours before the baby was born. When she heard that, my mother insisted that my grandparents to back and finish out the funeral. It was a spectacular argument, but in the end my mother won. The king and queen reluctantly left her bedside, giving me a chance to climb up.

"Are you alright, Mama?" I asked. Mother gave me a weary smile- the same one that she still wears today.

"I will be," she said, holding out her arm so I could snuggle into her side. "I love you, my sweet Lia," she whispered into my hair. For the first time in days, I felt safe and warm, and I finally drifted off to sleep.

It was some time later when I was gently shaken awake. "Wake up, Sweet," my grandmother's voice called.

"Is the baby here?" I asked groggily.

"No, Darling, not yet," Mother told me, then paused to brace herself against a pain. "It's time for you to wait outside."

"But I want to stay here!" I protested.

"You can't, Lia," my mother said, brushing a stray lock of hair out of my face. "I promise you can come back after the baby is born."

I didn't like this answer at all. It was rare that I pitched a fit, but when I did it was extravagant. In the end, Uncle Neal had to carry me into the hallway. He shut Mother's door, and then kneeled down in front of me.

"Princess, your mum is going to be just fine. I promise I'll take very good care of her," he said, managing to be stern and gentle at the same time. He nodded towards the door opposite Mother's, which I knew lead to a sitting room. "You can wait in there. The king and your aunts and uncles are already there. I'm fairly certain they have snacks."

I nodded, pretending that I was going to follow his directions. However as soon as he returned to the birthing chamber I sat down on the floor next to the door that separated me from my mother.

My hands were folded on my lap as I stared at a tapestry that hung down the hall. Uncle Neal came and went, carrying little boxes of various herbs. He pretended not to see me, though I jumped to my feet each time the door opened, thinking that the baby was finally there.

After a while I could hear my mother's cries growing louder. I leaned back against the wall, covering my ears and closing my eyes, trying not to cry. I felt someone large sit down next to me, but they didn't speak until I dared a glance at them.

"Hello, Princess Lia," Auntie Kel said.

"The baby is coming," I told her.

"I know," she said. "Are you excited?"

I ignored her question. "They kicked me out. Da wouldn't have kicked me out."

"He probably would have, Lia. Your mama has to focus on having the baby right now."

"I miss my Da," I told her.

"I'm so sorry, Lia. I miss him too," Auntie Kel said, her voice thick with tears. I sniffled, rubbing the sleeve of my funeral dress across my runny nose. "Hey now, you shouldn't ruin your nice clothes."

"I hate this dress," I whispered. "I wouldn't have to wear it if Da was still here."

"I'm not that fond of my outfit either. What do you say we go change and find something to eat? I'll have someone come get us when the baby is here." I was about to refuse, but then my stomach put on a exhibition of growls. Auntie Kel smiled at me. "Let me just tell your family where we're going."

She ducked into the room that Uncle Neal had pointed out, then came back and took my hand. We stopped at my room so I could change first. I put on my favorite dress, and Auntie Kel was nice enough not to point out that the blue was not a mourning color.

After that we went to her chambers. Auntie Kel picked up a cloth-wrapped parcel that was on her desk and handed it to me.

"I want you to have something," Auntie Kel said, before she ducked into her washroom to change.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Open it and find out," Auntie Kel called.

I sat on her bed to unfold the parcel to reveal a tiny blown-glass horse. He had flattened ears and bared teeth, making him look maniacal and goofy. I giggled at his appearance.

"Your father gave me that for my first Midwinter in the palace," Kel said, coming back to sit beside me and pull on her boots. She was wearing a gray tunic and dark breeches now. "It looks just like my horse, Peachblossom. I thought you might like to keep it."

"I'd love that," I told Auntie Kel, hugging the little horse close to me. I waited until she had her boots on before I hugged her too.

"Lia, it's okay to be sad and miss your Da," she told me, returning the hug. "Just don't ever forget how much he loved you, and all of the happy things you did together."

"What's your happiest memory with my Da?" I asked her.

Auntie Kel's eyes filled with tears. "I think it would have to be all of the times he stood up for me when we were pages. A lot of people thought a girl didn't belong there, but not your Da. Oh- or the Midwinter party the year your mother got here from the Islands. It was so fun to watch Roald realize that he could fall in love with her." My adoptive aunt used the cloth from the glass horse to wipe her eyes. I admired her so much in that moment.

"Thank you," I told her. "I like hearing stories about Da."

"I'll make sure you never have to go without," Auntie Kel told me. "Now, we should really get some food in you."

After we ate, Auntie Kel and I went back to wait for the baby. Mother was still crying out in pain. Grandfather was returning from the privy when we arrived. He smiled at my blue dress.

"Feeling better, Lia?" he asked. I nodded, letting him pick me up. I was starting to feel sleepy again as I rested my head on his shoulder. "Thank you, Lady Knight," he told Auntie Kel.

I missed her reply, as the door to mother's chamber opened. I could hear the baby crying now, their new voice echoing into the hallway.

"You may go in now, Lianokami," Uncle Neal told me. Grandfather set me gently on my feet, and I entered the room, eager to see my mother. She looked exhausted, but Grandmother assured me that she was unharmed.

"Come meet your brother," she said, nodding to the bundle in her arms.

I set the little glass horse on the night table and climbed up onto the bed. Mother held the baby lower so that I could see him. At first glance, I was rather unimpressed. His face was red and wrinkled, and I secretly thought that he was kind of ugly.

But then he yawned contentedly, and I couldn't help but grin at him. "Hello, baby. I'm your big sister."

"Does he have a name yet?" Grandfather asked.

"Roald and I had decided to call him Kazuhiko," she said softly.

"Hello, Kazu," I said, leaning down to kiss his forehead. "I'm your big sister. I love you." I felt wetness on my hand and realized that all of the adults were crying.

I presented Kazu my finger and his little digits wrapped snugly around it. He yawned again and drifted off to sleep. My brother and I have been close ever since.

Grandfather and Grandmother left soon afterward to share the news with the rest of the family. Mother soon slept as soundly as the baby, with me to keep vigil beside them.

"I'll always take care of them, Da," I vowed.