I have created a Spotify Playlist of the songs used, so you don't have to go hunting for them. The Playlist will be updated as the fic is updated, so there'll be no spoilers about what's coming down the road.
Link is in my Profile.
Songs in this chapter in order of use, and placed in the story when to hit play:
(1) "Back Down" – Bob Moses
It felt like a broken promise from a lifetime ago. Promises of a life together that never came to fruition. Promises he'd made but realized, she never had an intention of holding him to.
It had been an eternity since he'd dreamed about her, which explained his current bout of insomnia. He'd dreamed she there with him again, in his apartment, like nothing had changed. Like his entire world hadn't been utterly destroyed, leaving him to pick up the pieces… alone.
He questioned it at first, but at her sweet musings and calming reassurances, he soon gave into the feeling of having her there again, in his arms. It was warm and soothing, sensations that had perpetually remained elusive to him. He remembered how he'd promised to fight for this, defend it, with every ounce of breath in his being. He wanted it to last for an eternity, the way they'd always said it would.
But that was before her visage grew hateful, spiteful. She asked him, "Did you honestly think any woman could love a half-demon like you?"
The voice was full of vitriol and disgust, as if it was the most ludicrous thing to imagine.
He could feel the cold hands of death on his neck, the feeling of suffocation, the sting of betrayal.
Inuyasha had woken up with a start, gasping for air he thought he was dying for lack of it. A cold sweat covered his face and body, nearly soaking his sheets. He ran his finger through his hair, frustrated. He rubbed the sleep from his face, pressing down on the inside corners of his eyes to help soothe the headache he could feel forming in his temples. When that did little to calm his racing mind, he threw off the sheets, unable to sit there anymore.
He grabbed his notebook that he usually kept by his bedside, just in case there was a sudden burst of inspiration in the middle of the night, as he crossed his apartment towards the large windows that opened to a fire escape. Following the metal steps that lead up to the roof of the building, it was where he found himself now, staring up at the cloudy night sky, a cool breeze fanning his damp skin, wondering why after so long of attempting to block her from his mind, she suddenly reappeared with a vengeance.
'Why?' he wondered.
It had been a few years since he'd last dreamed of her, though he never truly stopped thinking of her. He thought he'd managed a pretty damn good job of trying to leave her behind and move on with his life, thinking that he'd finally freed himself from her haunting memory.
Images of her funeral, her heart-broken family, their last words to one another all came rushing back to him.
"How could you possibly think anyone could love a half-demon like you?!" the words echoed in his mind, invoking that feeling of loss and betrayal once more.
But before he'd realized it, his mind flashed to the girl he'd met not even a few hours ago, whose sweet ocean blue eyes looked at him with interest and awe, instead of revulsion and pity as he was accustomed to.
'She looked so much like her,' he thought.
He'd dared to look at her, repeatedly, still not quite believing what he was seeing. He could tell he'd made her uncomfortable with his stares, but he needed to know if it was her. He just didn't trust his own eyes anymore. He realized he must've been losing his mind. That it just had to be his mind finally snapping, and imagining it was her, after so long of suppressing her presence in his soul. That his memory of her was finally erupting within him to the point of fracture.
'It couldn't have been her,' he came to terms with himself, knowing that he was seeing a phantom.
The only difference that made him understand that she was real were those deep blue eyes. Those were uniquely hers, and no memory could obscure them. They pierced though the mirage he thought he had conjured, and brought him firmly back to earth as he'd insulted her to try and get her to avoid his gaze, unable to handle her own stare. He realized shorty after it did little to dissuade her, and her eyes became fiery, eager to defend herself.
He then went out of his way to be cold towards her, unyielding to his friend's attempts to be welcoming and warm with her. They were right in calling him out for it, and he knew it wasn't her fault. It was his own fucked up mind that was blame.
He sat there on the rooftop, scribbling in his notebook, until the daylight of morning began to break over the distant horizon.
He sat back as the sky began to turn a pale blue, before a murmur escaped his lips, "Kikyo…"
"Have a great weekend, everyone! Please make sure to practice, as performance is only three weeks away. Also, if you still need to reserve seats for friends and family, you have until the 20th to reserve them before they open up to the public," the professor announced, the class barely hearing him over the clatter and white noise of instruments being dismantled and put away.
"Ayumi, you still have that date this weekend?" Eri had asked, Kagome barely registering the light conversation.
"Oh, yeah! We're going to see that new movie that just came out, so we'll see how it goes," her friend answered casually.
"How about you Kagome? Any plans for the weekend?" Yuka asked her, though Kagome wasn't really paying attention. After a few moments of pause, Yuka prodded her again, "Earth to Kagome, you there?"
Kagome shook her head, realizing they were asking her something "Huh? Sorry, Yuka. What'd you say?"
"Geez, you've really be out of it these last few days," her friend commented.
"Yeah, is something up?" Ayumi asked, the sound on concern evident in her tone.
"Oh no, I'm fine. Just getting a bit nervous about the performances I guess, "Kagome lied.
She had been spacing out lately, but it hadn't been because of the upcoming performance. It was a certain dog-eared musician that she had running in her mind for the last few days.
"I mean, that makes sense, "Eri affirmed, "You've got more riding on this than most other students, so it figures. But don't worry, Kagome! You've been practicing so hard, there's no way you won't do amazingly!"
Kagome gave her friend an exacerbated expression before meekly replying, "Uh, thanks, guys."
"So, like I asked, you got any plans this weekend?" Yuka reiterated.
Kagome flatly responded, "Nah, I'm probably just going to practice, honestly," as she reached into her bag to place her sheet music. Kagome felt her phone vibrate next to her hand in the bag, and reached to grab hold of it. She noticed it was a DM request from an account she didn't recognize.
She initially thought little of it, dropping her phone back into her bag before shouldering it to leave. She conversed politely with her friends for a short while longer before she headed back to her dorm room, dropping her bag onto her bed before leaving to shower.
As she returned with her towel wrapped around her, she reached for her phone again to check for any missed messages, and noticed the notification again. Deciding she should check it out, she opened the app and tapped into her unread messages, seeing that first message from earlier. She clicked on it as she sat on her bed to read it.
"Hey Kagome, it's Kouga!"
'Interesting,' she thought to herself, as she continued to read on, wondering how he'd found her social media account, since it was on private.
"I realized I didn't get your number or anything to contact you, so I found you over social. Not tryin' to be a creeper, I promise."
'The intrigue grows,' Kagome giggled to herself.
"I just wanted to reach out and ask if you were interested in being the main artist on the song we recorded a few days ago? The studio exec's loved your voice, and think you'd be a great fit for the song. Let me know what you think, and I hope to hear from you!"
"What?!" Kagome shouted aloud as she reread the message, making sure she wasn't misreading it.
They wanted her as the main artist on the song?
Her heart began to race and her hands flailed, unable to control her excitement, dropping her phone onto the bed without warning.
"Ohmygod, ohmygod, omygod," she nearly hyperventilated, realizing she should probably respond to the message if she was actually hoping to take him up on this opportunity.
She nervously tapped out a response, her hands shaking as she did so.
"Hey Kouga! No worries! My fault for not leaving my contact info with you."
She sent the first reply, giving a bit more thought as to how she wanted to respond to the second half.
"I'd love to be on the song!"
Better to keep things simple. It wasn't long before she saw "Typing..." form under her last response, the sound of her message notification signaling his reply.
"Great! I'll set something up in the next few weeks to lay down the final tracks."
Kagome was on cloud nine, unable to pause before sending, "Thanks, Kouga! I owe you one!"
She couldn't contain herself, she needed to tell someone. She switched apps on her phone to her texts, and tapped away a message to Sango.
After a few moments and getting dressed, her phone began to ring.
Opening the call and switching it onto speaker mode, Kagome barely was able to greet her friend before Sango's excited voice crossed the line, "Are you serious?"
Kagome giggled at her friend's tone, "Right?! I thought the same thing! But yeah, he said they want me to be the main artist on the song!"
"Kagome, that's amazing! I'm so happy for you!" Sango replied with a positive tone, "Did he say when they'd scheduled the final tracks?"
"He'll reach out in the next few weeks to organize it," Kagome answered, grabbing her hairbrush to detangle her still damp hair.
"Just remember what I said about him. If you're not interested in him, make sure you don't lead him on or make him think there's something there, 'cause he will misread it," Sango warned, though it was a bit hard to hear, as she was clearly somewhere where the noise was disruptive in the background.
"Don't worry. I have no interest in him that way. Keeping things professional, that's all I want," Kagome assured her friend.
"Good! Speaking of being interested," Sango prompted, "Would you be interested in coming to a gig tomorrow night? We're playing in Akihabara, and I'd appreciate a friendly face in the crowd."
Kagome paused and thought about it for a moment, "I'm not sure. I was hoping to spend the weekend practicing for the performance."
"Oh come on!" Sango playfully chided, "You can practice all day before the gig, and all day Sunday. Besides, you need some down time to properly rest. Don't want to wear out your voice, now do you?"
Kagome laughed, "No, definitely not. Then what would all this work be for?"
"Exactly! So, you're coming, right?" Sango led on, trying to encourage her friend.
Kagome paused again, hesitant when she thought of Sango's bandmate, Inuyasha, "Are you sure it's okay if I come? The guys won't mind?"
"What are you talking about? The guys love you," Sango tried to ease, "Is this because of Inuyasha?"
When Kagome didn't immediately reply, Sango took the silence as her answer, "Listen, I promise you, Inuyasha's not a bad guy. He's just a bit on the defensive side when meeting new people. I promise he'll warm up to you."
"You're sure he won't mind?" Kagome asked.
"I'm positive. And if he does, I'll just kick his ass out of the band, "Sango joked.
Kagome lightly giggled, "Isn't it his band?"
"Who cares? It'll be my band now!" Sango continued with the charade, hoping it made Kagome feel easier about coming, "I'd really appreciate if you came, Kagome. Please?"
She thought for a moment, letting out a beleaguered sigh, "Alright, you twisted my arm."
"Great! I'll text you the address and when our set starts. Feel free to come anytime, and we'll go for a few drinks after," Sango elaborated.
A smile grew on Kagome's face as she heard the excitement in her friend's voice, "Sure thing, Sango! And thanks for inviting me. You know I have a hard time forcing myself to get out, so I'm glad you haven't given up on me."
"Not to worry, Kagome. I'll always be here to drag you out of your dorm for a night out, "Sango replied with a light tone, "Anyways, I've gotta go, but I'll see you tomorrow! Congrats again on getting the gig!"
"Thanks! See you tomorrow!" Kagome hung up her phone, sitting at her desk, and trying to ease the sudden nervous feeling in her stomach.
'I hope Inuyasha doesn't mind if I come,' she thought to herself.
When she thought back on a few days ago, when she first met all of Sango's bandmates, Inuyasha had definitely caught her eye. When she looked at him, he just… did something to her insides that she couldn't quite explain. She'd never felt that way about a guy before, especially after just meeting him.
But when his attitude came into play, she was immediately turned off by his demeanor, and his comment had been running through her mind for days after.
"Stupid human, of course we're different."
'What an arrogant prick!' she thought.
Kagome double checked her phone to make sure she had the address right, as she looked back at the sign.
'This is it,' she acknowledged, as she approached the doors.
Kagome had never been to a show like this before, didn't really know what to expect when Sango invited her. After paying her entry fee, she walked down the staircase that was covered in stickers, ads, and posters, and lead into a dark and hazy club with quite a few people already filling the space. The bass vibrated through her as she descended into the hidden area. The main floor was probably the size of half a gymnasium, which to her, seemed impressive considering they were underground. It was slightly angled downward towards the stage at the back end, allowing for a large crowd at every point to get a decent view. The ceiling was higher than she would have expected, again, considering the location. Neon signs and orange lights filtered her gaze as they danced in time with the current band's music. Intense shadows shifted and obscured her vision as people moved and danced, and made it hard to discern any individual from the mass of people.
'It's busier than I thought it'd be,' she noted mentally.
She made her way over to the bar and ordered a soda, before finding a small table off to the side of the main floor area, where people were listening to another band playing. The music was definitely lively and fun, something to groove and dance to easily, even if you couldn't dance. Her body just naturally wanted to sway with the rhythm.
Kagome sipped away on her soda before checking her phone for the time, wondering where Sango and the others were – since she was right on time for their set. She figured the sets were just running a bit behind schedule.
Once the current band finished their set, a DJ began playing more generic music and there was a lull in the crowd, with most people moving around to get drinks and find friends who'd come in during the set. Kagome definitely felt a bit like a fish out of water here, but she did enjoy the friendly atmosphere of the space. It felt warm, and she could feel herself needing to remove the long suede coat she was wearing. She shrugged the elegant garment off her shoulders to reveal the outfit she'd worn underneath, and it had gotten some immediate attention.
"You here alone, Higurashi?" came a familiar voice. Kagome looked up from her seat, and saw her classmate, Hojo.
"Hojo! What're you doing here?" she asked, surprised to see him in a place like this.
He laughed politely, "I could ask you the same thing. Never expected to see the star of the conservatory at a club in Akihabara," Kagome smiled at the compliment before he continued, "Actually, I'm here to see the next band. I've been listening to their stuff for a while now, and I wanted to check out one of their gigs."
Kagome looked at him with surprise, "Really?"
"Yeah. I've been looking forward to this show all week," Hojo replied, "So you never answered my question. Are you here alone?"
Kagome nodded, inviting him to sit down at her small table, "Well, sort of. My best friend is in the band, and she invited me to come watch."
"Really?! That's so cool!" Hojo said excitedly, "Any chance I can meet them after the show?"
Kagome wondered if that would be okay. She was already here on a tentative invite from Sango, and she wasn't sure what the guys would think if she was introducing a fan to them like as if she knew them well. She replied, "I can ask, but I'm not really friends with all of them, so…"
"I hear ya. No worries, Higurashi. Forget I even asked," Hojo interrupted but in a way to explain that he wasn't hurt by the answer. Kagome gave him a sweet smile, silently thanking him for his understanding. Hojo had always been an easygoing and considerate guy. Kagome remembered how he'd asked her out during their first year at the conservatory together, and though she wasn't against the idea in its inception, she just wanted to focus on her schooling at the time, and he was more than accepting of her explanation.
"So, you nervous about the performance in a few weeks?" Kagome asked to make polite small talk. She knew the answer already, as she had practicing extensively with Hojo for the performance, but she figured what's the harm in just chatting.
"You have no idea," he replied nervously, "I mean, it's already hard enough to perform in fornt of an audience that'll be as big as it will be, but to perform next to you… I just hope I don't mess it all up."
Kagome blushed at the insinuation to her talent, "Well you've been doing wonderfully in the practices, and I couldn't ask for a better partner."
She could see the massive smile that crossed his face at that comment, and she nervously shrugged it off.
Before they knew it, the lights started to go dark, and the crowd seemed to return towards the stage in a wave. Kagome looked around before Hojo spoke, "Looks like their set's starting. Come on! We should get a spot close to the front."
Hojo took Kagome, gingerly, by her hand as she shouldered her bag and grabbed for her soda before being pulled into the packed audience. Hojo clearly knew how to get through these crowds efficiently, and before she knew it they were only a few people back from the stage with a clear view.
"I take it you come to concerts like this all the time?" Kagome asked him.
"Yeah, I like to see what's up and coming, and I prefer hearing music live when I can," he explained. Kagome nodded, showing she understood.
"So what about these guys' music do you enjoy so much?" Kagome asked, genuinely curious on what he thought of their music.
"Hm… I'd say it's two-fold," he started, knowing he'd be able to hold a more in-depth conversation with her about this kind of thing than most other people. And Kagome knew first hand, if, given the chance, Hojo will speak his mind about the things he's passionate about, and at length, "Firstly is the tone of the music. It's hard to describe, some of their stuff is more rock and funk-influenced, but others are more dance and almost EDM. They almost defy genre, but if I had to nail down what it was it's like a trip-pop rock-funk? Does that make any sense?"
Kagome giggled and nodded, "I get that."
Hojo's smile lit up before continuing, "The second is the lyrics. I don't know which one of them does their song-writing, but I hope they're making good money and they're getting lots of work because I just… I can't remember the last time lyrics hit me in quite the way theirs do."
Hojo was clearly excited by their music, it was evident in the way he talked about it, "You sound like you're quite a Stan," Kagome joked.
He gave her a nervous laugh, embarrassed that he'd let his mouth run away from him like that, "Sorry, I guess I just get carried away by this kinda thing, ya know? I mean, it's why we went to music school in the first place."
Before she could press on with their conversation, the crowd started to cheer, even though it was still dark, you could tell the guys were making their way on stage. Hojo joined in the cheers, and Kagome could vaguely see the outlines of their profiles. Before she knew it, the deafening roar of the audience overwhelmed her as the first few notes began to be played by Shippo, and the lights exploded to life at the first intense line of the song (1).
Caught in the tide of our own divide
Our moment to make a stand
We're all in the fight for a future bright
It's burning inside our hands
Fell on a line on our own this time
We failed the forgotten man
Your reality is our insanity
Our humanity is tearing at the seams
The room was vibrating with energy, the bass from the speakers shook Kagome to her core, in a good way. Everyone around her seemed to move in unison, understanding the fundamental rhythm of the song. Kagome was swept up in it, unable to hold back as she herself bobbed along, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.
Ah, never going back, never going back now
Ah, never gonna back, never gonna back down
Blinded by faith and devotion
Shade the fire inside our hearts
Ties that we've made have been broken by the
Lies that pull us apart
Time that we take will be stolen from a
Dream that was almost ours
Your reality is our insanity
Our humanity is calling to be free
Ah, never going back, never going back now
Ah, never gonna back, never gonna back down
Ah, never going back, never going back now
Ah, never gonna back, never gonna back down
Shippo was having a blast on stage and grooved to the beat that Sango was setting with her drums, a smile plastered on their faces and having the time of their lives. Miroku looked so calm and collected as he strummed on his bass, adding a tone to the song that made it feel despondent, yet invigorating. It was an interesting duality.
Inuyasha, Kagome could tell, was in his own world. The hair in his long ponytail swayed back and forth in time like a metronome as he expertly strummed his guitar. His eyes seemed to just stare through the audience, like they weren't even there; it looked like he was just zoned in on the music. While Shippo, Sango, and Miroku all had their own stage presence that was effervescent and engaged with the crowd, Inuyasha's seemed to be pensive and abstracted.
You and I
Turned away from the promise to try
You and I
Found our faith in the will of a lie
You and I
Kagome was so caught up in the show, her smile never leaving her features. But as she looked back and forth between the guys on stage, she swore she saw Inuyasha spot her, and she wasn't sure, but she thought she saw a small smirk cross on his lips before he turned back and started the final chorus. She could feel her cheeks grow warm.
'I must be imagining things,' she thought, suddenly unable to tear her eyes off his form.
Ah, never going back, never going back now
Ah, never gonna back, never gonna back down
Ah, never going back, never going back now
Ah, never gonna back, never gonna back down
They didn't pause long once the first song ended, with Shippo easily gliding them into their next song.
By the end of the set, Hojo was asking her if she had a good time, and Kagome knew she definitely wanted to come out to more of these shows. It was one thing to hear them play in a jam session at a studio, it was another experience it in a live show. She was hooked.
Bit of a shorter chapter, but I've got the next few outlines, so I'm hoping to have them written over the next few weeks.
Let me know if you enjoyed that by favoring or following the story, and be sure to leave a review! I really appreciate any and all constructive comments.
Until Next Time…