I have created a Spotify Playlist of the songs used, so you don't have to go hunting for them. The Playlist will be updated as the fic is updated, so there'll be no spoilers about what's coming down the road.
Had the air always felt so warm in his apartment? He'd never noticed it feeling so warm. It was… hard to describe.
It was like the room was filled with haze that calmed every part of his mind.
Inuyasha almost dared not open his eyes, or move from the spot, afraid that if he did, it'd all vanish in the blink of an eye.
He knew it was morning. He could hear the faint sounds of traffic from the street, and just enough light entering the space to register to his closed eyes.
But he didn't want this time to end. So, he decided to stay put for a moment longer, his body wrapped around a smaller one. Just one more second. Then another. And another.
Counting every passing second that he got to enjoy this pure bliss. If it was a dream, he'd savor every bit of it for the rest of his days.
It wasn't until he felt the body beside his start to shift a little that he realized that this wasn't a dream.
Kagome had woken up. He could sense her heartbeat change when she moved around, probably looking over her shoulder and seeing him. It sounded like it was racing within her chest.
He hoped it was for the same giddy feelings he was having, and not the sudden realization that everything that happened last night had been a huge mistake.
His arms were loose around her waist as he felt her try to move a little to escape the bed. He decided that now, with no fear that last night had been a hallucination, he awoke, seizing her within his arms and pulling her right back against him, before kissing along the back of her neck and shoulder, earning a delightfully bubbly, but tired, sound from her throat.
"Good morning," she cooed like a siren.
"Where d'you think yer goin'?," he growled back, the sound of sleep in his timbre.
"I was going to make us some coffee," she said back, turning around in his arms to face him, his eyes finally cracking open and meeting her absolutely radiant sapphires matched only by her glowing smile and bed-tossed hair. He realized this was the only way he would ever want to wake up ever again.
"Mmm, coffee sounds good, but there's somethin' even better I'd like first," he groaned before moving in to sweetly kiss her, which she didn't hesitate to match. He could feel the rough drag of her hands over his chest before he tossed her onto her back, effectively pining her beneath him as they continued their sensual caressing.
Kagome giggled against him, her hands holding tight around the back of his neck as his lightly trailed up and down her bare sides, reminding them both of what they'd done together.
When a small interlude was needed for air, Inuyasha leaned back a little, relishing in the vision of the woman laying beneath him. In the daylight, she looked just as flushed and beautiful as she had by firelight. He couldn't help the endearing stare he gave her, raising his hand to brush his thumb over her cheek.
However, he could tell something was on her mind, as she took a deep breath, and her heart started to race again.
Before he could ask her if everything was alright, she knocked the wind out of him with just a few small words, "I love you…. Inuyasha."
Out of all the things he expected her to say, that… hadn't been one of them.
His eyes were wide with disbelief; not sure he'd heard it right.
In all honesty, Inuyasha hadn't even contemplated this idea. All he could focus on was just how good it felt to be with her; physically, emotionally, spiritually. She was the balm that soothed his aching soul.
But in the moment, he realized just how badly he wanted to say it back to her. To tell her with every bit of himself how much she meant to him and how much happiness she'd brought into his life…
But the words wouldn't come.
Something there still felt… wrong. Like it was a step too far.
He knew it wasn't that he didn't feel the same thing Kagome was feeling. But saying it… out loud… it somehow felt like a betrayal. It was dumb. It didn't make sense. He knew it didn't. But that didn't matter. He couldn't force himself to admit it aloud.
After a minute of silence, Kagome began to look panicked. And he realized he was causing that beautiful light in her eyes to fade. She turned her head to the side, suddenly embarrassed, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have sai—,"
Inuyasha immediately cut her off, pulling her lips back to his, in the only immediate act he could think of to show her how he felt.
His hands held her face so carefully, and Kagome, having settled from the shock, began to reciprocate.
Inuyasha gently pulled back, resting his forehead against hers as their partly hooded eyes met. He stammered, "I—I…"
Kagome could tell something was holding him back, and that he was struggling with this. She moved to sit up, holding the bed sheet to her chest, Inuyasha following as they both sat on the bed. Kagome stared at Inuyasha while he fought to try to articulate what was running through his head.
"We don't have to talk about it right now, Inuyasha," she said quietly, "I… I felt like I needed to tell you. And if we're not on the same page, I apologize for making you feel… uncomfortable."
"No, that's not it!" he snapped his focus back up to her, reaching for her hands, not wanting her to get the wrong idea. He refused to let her walk out of this apartment thinking he didn't feel for her the same way she did for him.
Kagome's eyes softened again as she looked down at their joined hands, before asking, "Then, what is it?"
Inuyasha tightened his grip on her hands, tough careful to not to crush them. Kagome could feel him physically shaking, like it was physically difficult for him to verbalize it.
She gave him the room to sort out his thoughts as he started, "I just… I just need some time. It's not that I don't feel the same way; I do."
Kagome's heart seized at his admission, "You do?"
He nodded fervently, "But… I just need to figure out some things…. before I can say it the way you deserve to hear it. I just need some time."
A small smile broke on her lips as her eyes watered, taking her hands from his and slowly moving to wrap her arms around him, hugging him closely, and feeling him return the gesture.
She whispered into his chest, "Just promise me that I can stay with you while you figure things out?"
The small nuzzle against her head, and the light running of his claws through her hair to gently comb out her tussled locks, she didn't need to hear the relieved sigh in his answer to know, but it helped, "Of course. I'd want nothing else."
The few tears she had trailed down her cheeks before she could hold them back. Though relieved he wasn't rejecting her feelings or turning her away, it still caused a small ache in her chest that she couldn't shield against. She didn't want to rush him. She knew he had his own issues to work through, and she wanted to respect his need to process whatever it was he needed to process. Maybe there were insecurities he wasn't sure how to deal with. Maybe he was afraid that if he said it back, everything would come crashing down again, like it had with Kikyo. Maybe he just wanted to protect what they had just found in each other… so they'd never get hurt.
But, she trusted him. And if he said he needed some time, she would give him all the time in the world, so long as they could still be together.
After a few moments of holding one another, Kagome eventually pulled back from his grasp, wiping away at the evidence of her emotions, before asking, "So, should I guess us that coffee then?"
Inuyasha saw the hurt she was trying to cover, could smell it on her. She was trying to distract them both from it. He decided he would show her as best he could what he knew he felt.
He reached out for her wrist, gently pulling it back towards his lips, kissing her along her dainty limb. Kagome froze her movements and felt herself being slowly guided back into the comfy warmth that was his bed, her excuses for caffeine a distant memory.
There was a part of Kagome that wanted to get up and runaway. She'd felt it before. Whenever she felt like shed made a fool of herself, she just wanted to hide.
But Inuyasha was always there to make everything better. Either by making her forget that anything awkward had even happened at all, or being so kind and considerate to her needs.
Kagome had to remind herself that Inuyasha had complex feelings when it came to all of this, and to expect that he would, in one night, forget it all and just proclaim his love for her the way she just had… It's just not where he was.
She wanted to meet him where he was, and show him that there could be a life where they both could be 100% open to each other. It felt like they were already on that path. And she knew what she was getting into when she told him how she felt the previous night. She meant what she said; that even if he didn't care for her the way she cared for him, she still wanted to be in his life.
And by god, if she could be in his life, in his arms, in his bed, even if he was 90% of the way there, she could wait… She could wait for him. She could give him that space that he needed.
"Inuyasha…" she sighed as she felt his lips trail down her body.
He kissed and tasted every inch of her skin, his hands brushing lightly over her breasts, causing her to shiver as if her body was now finely tuned to his touch. His attention fell to her chest, where he gently massaged and sucked at her hardened nipples, eliciting those soft, airy moans of hers again. That sweet song.
Her hands gripped the bedding beneath her to steady herself, attempting to breath.
But Inuyasha soon continued down her petite form, his tongue dragging over her stomach and over the mound. Kagome tempting to look down at him, wondering what he was planning as she gasped, "Inuyasha, wh—what are you…?"
Inuyasha kissed the inner sides of her thighs, sucking on the plush bits of flesh enough to leave a small set of hickeys in his wake, ones only he would ever see. She threw her head back against the pillow, her hips lightly moving towards him and seeking more of his touch.
His breath hovered just over her most sensitive spots as he growled, "I've been wanting to do this ever since I could first smell it on you, Kagome."
That sweet combination of cinnamon and ginger that mingled with her uniquely designed scent —it was like it had been made just for him. It got him feeling possessive and instinctual like nothing else ever had.
She could barely register what he meant before she felt the complete and utter elation of having his tongue dragging over her folds. She nearly yelped in surprise, but instead a long, drawn out moan escaped her throat.
Inuyasha moved his tongue and lips slowly at first, intentionally trying to find every spot that made her jump or cry out. Her hands soon left their tight grip on his sheets and instead flew to his head, and he could feel her uncertainty as she both tried to push him away and pull him closer at the same time. But her hands were gentle, careful to not yank or tug too hard on his hair or ears, which he greatly appreciated.
In all honesty, he had never done this before… not that he didn't want to. The opportunity had just never presented itself.
But with Kagome… she never hesitated or turned him away. Even now, though she was so new to all of this, she didn't push him away or tell him to stop. If anything, she encouraged him onward.
Thank god for that, because Inuyasha wasn't sure he would ever want to stop. She tasted exactly as her scent did, but better. More refined, almost enhanced. Like everything he'd ever hoped she would taste like.
He started to experiment with his lips and teeth a bit more, teasing as he dragged them over her folds, and causing her to let out a deep panting groan, "Inu—yasha…"
Eventually, he found the small bud just above her opening, and decided to satisfy her in every way he could give her. His lips started to suck on her wholeheartedly as his hands wrapped thoroughly around her thighs, pinning her to bed and taking everything she had to offer.
Her moans became more rapid and frantic, and he could feel her hands trying not to pull on his hair, but she was struggling. Gasping for breath, she cried, "Inuyasha… I— I'm gonna…"
He took that as his sign, and used his hands to spread her open even farther, delving his tongue into her depths while his teeth and lips continued their caresses against her.
Kagome was at her breaking point, and even with Inuyasha's hold on her hips, she bucked against him, and soon let out a primal sounding moan that somehow echoed in his mostly soundproofed apartment. Her body went taut, back arching off the bed while she shuttered against his mouth. Inuyasha, greedily, continued to lick and drink every drop that came out from her as she soon collapsed back against his bed, her body covered is a sheen of sweat and her chest heaving deep breaths.
With a final lick, Inuyasha raised his head from between her thighs and gently kissed the spot just above her mound before making his way back up towards her.
Her hair was a mess, her curls from the previous night now a tousled, frizzy mass across the pillow beneath her. Her makeup was smeared just a little around her eyes, and her lips were a little chapped. But dear god, he thought she was so beautiful.
Inuyasha was sure he couldn't be more in love with her.
Kagome managed to pull her eyes back up to him as he leaned over her, her ocean eyes watching as his searched for something. As if asking if she liked it. She reached up for him, pulling him down to meet her lips, hoping to confirm that she was, indeed, completely and utter satisfied. She even enjoyed tasting herself on his hips.
He soon laid beside her, pulling her close, her face barely a hair's distance from his as his adoring stare held her in place. She didn't know what to say. She was genuinely at a loss for words.
Inuyasha started, "I promise… Even if I can't say it right now, I'll spend every day showing you just what you mean to me. Whatever you want… whatever you need, I'll do it. Because there's nothing more important than you."
Kagome's breath hitched and she could feel his arms hold her just that bit tighter.
And finally, that smile of hers, the one that made his heart skip a beat, returned. His chest felt a little lighter as she wiggled closer to him, her hands holding his jaw so delicately and yet kissing him so passionately.
After a moment, she pulled away and whispered, "Thank you."
They'd accidentally fallen back asleep while sweetly kissing one another, but after an hour or so nap, Kagome started to rise again.
She managed to catch Inuyasha while he was still asleep, and savored in this bit of quiet and peace with him. He looked just as content as that morning she'd found him on her couch.
She didn't want to disturb him, and so, she managed to quietly sneak out of the bed, and headed to the bathroom. After a quick shower to rinse her face and body clean and rid herself of the various sprays and creams in her hair, she braided her hair and returned to the main area with only a towel wrapped around her. Her dress from the night before was the only clothing she had with her, and Kagome wasn't sure what to get changed into. She figured she should just put her dress back on, and maybe make her way home…? This was all new territory for her, and she didn't want to over-stay her welcome.
But as soon as she opened the bathroom door, she spotted the bed, now neatly made, and with a small pile of clothes set at the foot of it — a pair of sweatpants, a hoodie, and some socks.
She peaked out and realized Inuyasha had remade the fire again, heating the apartment to a reasonable temperature. And it didn't take long to spot her handsome half-demon.
Inuyasha — fully dressed in a fitted, black t-shirt and sweats of his own — had his back turned to her as he was in the kitchen, the fan going and some delicious smells making their way to her nostrils.
Her dress, instead of a pile of fabric on the floor where they'd left it the previous night, was now draped over the back of the couch, and all signs of his clothes from the night before gone — likely thrown in a laundry hamper or somewhere out of sight.
"Mmmm, smells amazing," she said happily, walking over to the kitchen in just the bath towel.
Inuyasha turned to greet her with a dopey smirk, "I may not cook much, but I know how to make a basic breakfast."
She ignored his adorable frazzled reaction, and leaned up to kiss his cheek, "Are those clothes on the bed for me?"
Inuyasha nodded, turning his attention back to the eggs and bacon he was in the middle of almost burning.
Kagome giggled as she ran her hands over his arm, enjoying the feel of the strong muscles beneath his shirt.
"Thank you, Inuyasha," she said again.
"Keh, don't gotta thank me for nothin'," he replied quickly, keeping his focus on the food, afraid if he turned back towards her, he'd lose control of himself, and the food he'd spent the last five minutes cooking would be a waste.
She made her way back over to the bed, not bothering to redress in private. She slipped into his clothes easily, swimming in the extra fabric as it cascaded over her frame. Even though they were clean, she could still smell something that was uniquely Inuyasha's scent on them. A smile grew on her lips as she threw on the hoodie and made her way back over to the kitchen.
She asked if he needed any help, and he let her know she could set up some dishes on the coffee table — their usual eating spot.
With their breakfast and coffee in hand, Inuyasha and Kagome got comfortable on the couch, enjoying their meal and the warmth of the fire.
After a few moments, Inuyasha said, "So, what'dya have in mind for the rest of the day?"
She thought about it, "Honestly, I'm not sure. I didn't have any plans."
"Really? You and Sango didn't have anything?" he asked.
She shook her head, a bite of eggs in her mouth as she answered, "She and Miroku had some plans together. In all honesty, I was so worked up about last night, I couldn't think past it."
"Well, would you wanna… stay here?" he asked, "We could work on some of the music again. It's been a while…"
Kagome smiled, "Yeah… yeah, I'd like that a lot."
After a beat of silence, Inuyasha said, "Oh, by the way, if you ever need a hoodie or something else to keep ya warm, feel free to take whatever you need from the dresser."
"Thanks, I should be okay though," she said appreciatively.
Inuyasha elaborated "Well… I mean, whenever, not just today…"
She looked over at him, "Really? How come?"
His cheeks were a little red again, though he tried to distract from them by taking a drink of his coffee before answering, "Nothin', just… wanna make sure you have whatcha need, to stay warm an' all."
She giggled, "Well good. I kinda like having your smell on me."
Inuyasha's head spun around to meet her almost adorably devious look.
Kagome tried to piece it together and asked very sensually, "Inuyasha… do you like having your scent all over me?"
He clearly didn't want to admit it aloud, but Kagome could tell by his reaction that he did, "It's okay if you do. Is it a demon thing?"
He turned back to the fire and answered sheepishly, "Kinda… I dunno. It just… It makes me feel good, knowin' your scent's mixed with mine."
He peeked at the corner of his eye, wondering if she was going to start poking fun at him, or thinking he was weird. But instead, her smile hadn't faded and her eyes suggested something… sinful.
"In that case, I'll wear your clothes whenever you want me to. 'Kay?"
He sat back a little, and didn't detect a single hint of deceit or sarcasm. If anything, she was into it?
'Thank god,' Inuyasha whined internally. Kagome was an absolute angel, and he wasn't sure what he'd done to deserve her.
He smirked her way and leaned in when she pulled herself in to kiss his cheek.
They finished their meal, cleaning up and going over their game plan for working on her music. It had been over two months since they'd done any meaningful work on her album together, and Inuyasha would've been lying if he didn't want to know what kinda damage Kouga had done to their work in that time.
They pulled out their instruments and notebooks, and picked up right where they'd left off — like as if the last few weeks had never even happened. They seamlessly fell right back into their old swing of songwriting, and Kagome couldn't have been happier to have him back.
Kagome played some melodies on the keyboard that she'd come up with over the last few weeks, hoping Inuyasha would have some interesting ideas about how to work with them, which of course he did.
The songs started to take a shape they hadn't before. Now that Kagome knew the feelings she'd tried to infuse her songwriting with for so long, everything started to just click.
Inuyasha could tell her writing was getting more nuanced, and it wasn't as blunt as before.
After a few hours of incredibly productive work, they decided to order in some food before curling up on the couch and watching some movie they'd put on. Though it was soon forgotten as they found each other's kisses and cuddles to be far more enticing and entertaining.
The day soon faded away in the blink of an eye, and Kagome was struggling to pull herself from the couch. However, she needed to go home so she could get some sleep before working the next day, asking if he could give her a lift home.
Inuyasha tried his best to hold her against him, but she managed to free herself with a sweet litany of laughter, "Inuyashaa! Haha, I have to go!"
He laid back on the couch, an arm rested above his head as he watched her make her way around the apartment, a hazy drunken look covering his face. He noticed she was starting to undress, as if she was going to change out of his clothes.
"Keep 'em. Wear 'em home," he offered her, causing her to stop what she was doing.
"You sure?" she asked, unsure if it was okay to just take his clothes.
"I'm sure as hell not gonna make you wear that flimsy dress out in the cold," he answered, finally standing from the couch and making his way back around to her. He settled behind her, his hands finding their spots on her hips as she readjusted the clothes back into place, "Besides…" he whispered in her ear," You can just give 'em back to me when I see you next."
That made Kagome's heart race with excitement," Which will be… when?" she teased playfully.
He scoffed as he kissed her behind her ear, securing his arms around her, trying to trap her once again, "Tomorrow… after work. And the next day… and the next?"
She liked the sound of all of that. Kagome nodded, turning around in his arms, "Alright."
He smiled as he kissed her again, never wanting this day to end.
AH, this one took a while to write!
I knew this was going to be a major plot point, and I struggled to write it so that it didn't come off like Inuyasha was just not wanting to say it back.
I hope it comes across that way.
Special thanks again to Ruddcatha for beta-reading this chapter! 3
As always, if you're enjoying the fic, please leave a kudo/fave/comment/subscribe, as it really helps to motivate me to write more.
Until Next Time…