Ianto's bond with Penny grew stronger as the days went by. He should have wondered why spending time with a doll made him so happy, but for some reason, he didn't. It felt so natural to have her by his side. How ridiculous had it been to suspect these dolls being involved in a murder plot?
'Do you have to go?' Penny moaned. 'I thought we'd spend the entire day together in the archives.'
He stood with her in the locker room while the others were preparing for this morning's rift retrieval.
"I can't do that every day, Penny. Gwen's out doing her thing, and they need me for this mission. I can't stay downstairs forever," he tried to explain. He'd been hiding far too much lately. Jack was already starting to ask questions.
"Ianto? Who are you talking to?" Tosh stood in the doorway, looking at him questioningly.
Ianto spun around, hiding the doll behind his back.
"Nobody," he quickly replied. "I'll be out in a second." After a moment of hesitation, he added a smile to his answer.
She frowned at him but eventually nodded. Picking up her jacket, she returned to the main room of the hub.
A calming wave swept through Ianto's mind, dispelling his unease at almost being caught talking to a toy. He closed his eyes briefly and pressed Penny close to his chest.
'I wish I could be enough for you. I'm really all you need to be happy,' she hummed.
He looked at her again.
"No, please, you have to understand. I enjoy talking with you, and I'm glad you're here. But I am part of a team. Torchwood is my life," Ianto whispered and shook his head.
She huffed. 'The team. They don't deserve you.'
"They need me," Ianto tried to convince her.
'Perhaps that's true. But do they love you?' She retorted.
What was she talking about?
'Does Jack love you?' He could hear an edge in her voice.
Ianto hesitated.
"I don't know."
How could she be asking such a question?
'I know I do. With my entire being.' Her voice was soothing, like a warm embrace around his heart.
"They are my friends. Why can't you see that?"
'They are not. You don't need them.'
Penny sometimes sounded like a whiny little child.
"Ianto are you ready?" Jack called from the car park. "We are heading out!"
Ianto gave Penny one last look before stowing her in his backpack and putting it in his locker.
Ianto couldn't get his conversation with Penny out of his head. As they searched the evacuated school building, he was still thinking about what she had said. They searched floor by floor for a hive of marble butterflies.
So far, they had found nothing.
Why would Penny... but Ianto couldn't finish his thought as he opened the next door, and a swarm of wings rushed past him. A moment later, he heard Tosh scream.
"Ianto, what the hell!" Jack yelled as he grabbed the fire extinguisher from the wall, spraying the white foam on a flailing Toshiko until it was empty.
Annoyed, he threw the cylinder away and motioned for Owen to bring over the metal container they'd brought to hold the marble butterflies. Only then did Ianto notice the white foam-covered creatures surrounding Tosh, struggling to fly with their wet wings.
Owen and Jack quickly picked them up and shoved them into the container. Tosh removed some of the remaining butterflies from her hair and handed them to Owen.
"The foam will daze them for a while, but make sure the container is tightly sealed. We can't let even one of them get away," Jack said urgently. Then he raised his gaze to Ianto, who was still standing at the door, staring at the scene before him.
"Why did you open the door? I told you to keep it shut!"
"I'm sorry," Ianto stammered. He'd been so preoccupied with his thoughts that he hadn't even heard the warning.
"Be glad nothing happened to Tosh," he said sharply, then turned to face Toshiko. "Everything alright?"
"Yeah, I think so. I just got scared when they rushed towards me," she said, visibly shaken. She took the scanner from her bag and swept it before her.
"At least we got all of them. The building is clear."
"Good. Let's pack up, we're going back to the hub," Jack looked at Ianto sharply one more time before turning around and walking down the corridor towards the exit, his coat flapping dramatically behind him.
"Tosh, I'm really sorry...," Ianto started.
"It's okay, Ianto, I'm fine," she said as she tried in vain to brush the foam from her leather coat.
"Try to keep your head together, tea-boy," Owen grumbled as he slid the container shut.
"Yeah," Ianto said quietly, following them to the SUV.
During the drive back to the hub, the mood had been tense. Not long after they returned, Jack summoned Ianto to his office.
Standing in his boss's office, he braced himself for a well-deserved reprimand and a lecture on how to be a good field agent. To his surprise, none of that happened. Jack looked at him silently, trying to decide how to handle the situation. Then he let it drop and ordered Ianto to destroy the butterflies instead.
"Do we have to kill them?" Ianto asked, his gaze drawn to a container on the desk.
"Yes. If they lay their eggs in groundwater, Cardiff's water supply will be at risk. We're not going to keep them," Jack said firmly.
Ianto looked at Jack silently.
Sometimes, he struggled to understand Jack. So much compassion for the space whale they had discovered a few weeks ago, despite how difficult it would have been to keep and feed the massive creature. A small swarm of butterflies, on the other hand, had no chance. Jack was so human most of the time until he wasn't. Ianto shivered. He didn't like this version of Jack very much.
"We are not going to keep them," Jack repeated more softly.
"Yes, sir."
Ianto peered through a small window at the flames of the furnace. It hadn't taken long for the butterflies to burn, and the fire was already dying.
His thoughts returned to the events of the morning. He realised that his daily routines at the hub had become so mundane and meaningless compared to his time with Penny that he had become careless. Forgetting to clean up was one thing, but putting his friends in danger was inexcusable.
Jack's anger had been more than justified.
Ianto heard someone enter the small anteroom behind him. He recognised the captain without even turning around.
They stood together for a while, watching the flames. Then Ianto felt a light touch on his back.
"Will you stay at the hub with me tonight?" Jack inquired softly.
The request caught Ianto off guard. He'd expected Jack to want some space after him being such a disappointment today.
He almost said no.
Ianto longed to tell Penny what had happened. Maybe she could give him some advice. He yearned to bask in her soothing presence and be the centre of her undivided attention until he fell asleep.
The night would be very different with Jack, Ianto mused. Maybe a few hours of untamed sex would help him shake the anxiety from his bones and refocus.
"Will you stay?" Jack asked again after Ianto didn't reply.
"Yes."
Ianto lay awake on Jack's cot beneath his office. Jack slept peacefully beside him, one arm draped across the young man's chest.
The small room was hot and stuffy, and sweat glistened on Ianto's chest. They should have gone to his flat. At the very least, his bedroom had windows that let in fresh air.
Ianto stared at the murky stains of the old concrete ceiling above him.
He felt so strange. An odd kind of disconnection from everything around him. From this room, from the way his skin felt against the sheets. From Jack.
A kind of detachment he hadn't felt in a long time.
The last few hours had left him physically exhausted. Sex with Jack was always a wild ride. But it hadn't filled the void in his heart. The hole that Penny made him forget during the day. He listened for her voice but only heard silence. When he was with Jack, there was no sign of her mind connecting with him.
Then it dawned on him, the reason for the hollow place in his heart.
He felt lonely.
Does Jack love you?
He couldn't get Penny's uncomfortable question out of his head.
He could ask him right now, right here.
But he didn't.
Couldn't.
Ianto dreaded the answer.
Why would a man like Jack, an immortal and beautiful being like Jack Harkness, love him, the ordinary Ianto Jones? Yes, he was afraid of the answer. And it reminded him of the old adage, "A sparrow in the hand is better than a pigeon on the roof." He felt safe, not knowing. This was more than he'd ever imagined, and it had to be enough.
Jack shifted slightly. Looking over at him, Ianto saw that Jack was awake and watching him with a worried expression.
"A penny for your thoughts", Jack teased, only half joking.
Ianto tensed, and the bed suddenly felt cramped. He couldn't talk to Jack about these things. And then he remembered how he'd stashed Penny in his backpack the day before and never taken her out again.
He rolled over and rose from the narrow bed.
"I have some things to take care of," Ianto said hastily, grabbing his discarded clothes and climbing the ladder.
"Ianto...," Jack called after him, but he cut himself off when his lover was gone.
Jack wished Ianto would talk to him. Of course, Jack had noticed his distant behaviour, but he couldn't figure out what was bothering the young man.
He needed to find a way to cheer him up.