Here's Chapter 11!
I don't own Naruto except for my bae, Katsumi Uchiha.
Chapter 11: An Unwanted Situation (Part 2)
About three hours had passed since being stuck in the storage room with four eyes, who was taking advantage of the situation by sitting against a pile across the room with his hands linked behind his head as it rested comfortably. To be completely honest, I had no clue how long it had been because there was no clock that told time and there weren't any windows or hole that could hint us if it was at least day or night. If anything, it was possible we were stuck here for a whole day.
As Kabuto rested peacefully on the ground, I on the other hand wasn't relaxed at all. I was literally pacing around the small area, waiting impatiently for someone with a blessed soul to free us or waiting for an idea to hit me. Neither was the case so far and I groaned which caught the attention of a certain medic-nin.
"I don't understand why you're so impatient, princess. Nothing bad is going to happen to us, you know." He commented mockingly, grinning with amusement.
I hated to be told to calm down because for the most part, it just made my mood even worse. Especially those who I hated just as much.
I snapped my glare towards the grey haired bastard. "First of all, stop calling me 'princess' because that crap is getting annoying. Second of all, I have every right to be impatient because there's no telling when or if we're getting out of this dump and I hate being in tight, crowded spaces, it makes me feel uncomfortable and claustrophobic. I feel like the oxygen in this room with decreasing as we speak." I ranted in annoyance, receiving nothing but a blink from four eyes.
Kabuto let out a small grin. "Don't worry about that, there's an emergency oxygen supply here just in case. Plus, someone will free us from here eventually, it's just the matter of when." He commented in assurance.
For some reason, hearing this made me calm down a little bit. I don't know why and how, but it just did. However, it didn't erase the fact that I wouldn't even be stuck in here if it weren't for Kabuto ditching me earlier, forcing me to take his place as Orochimaru's subordinate. The thought of this caused a burning feeling in my chest that inflicted anger and distaste. I prevented the huge urge to scream my lungs out to let out the fire within me because I was under so much unnecessary pressure and being stuck in a closed in room didn't help at all.
"This wouldn't have happened if it weren't for you." I muttered lividly to myself, wanting to say those words out loud without the person I was referring to hearing.
Unfortunately, I forgot that said person's intelligence and ability to read lips matched mine because I then heard a scoff from the male.
"Yes, because everything I do or say is my fault isn't it?" He sarcastically grunted as he threw a sharp look at me.
I gasped in shock when I realized that he was referring to what I just said out loud to myself. I turned to look at him and the look he gave me made me regret a bit for looking.
"Am I right? That it's my fault simply because of my presence?" He questioned again, this time in a harder tone.
I narrowed my eyes directly at him. "I'm not that unreasonable, you jerk!" I snapped.
I heard a 'tsk' sound from Kabuto's mouth after hearing my comment. "You actually are, you just don't know it until now." He retorted in a low voice.
I gapped at his offensive remark, and immediately started defending myself.
"For your information, you were the one who wasn't available at the time that snake wanted someone to complete this damn errand and I happen to be the unlucky one. And you decided it would be a good idea to come down here and bother me, meaning the door was capable of opening before you went ahead and screwed it up. If you'd just mind your own damn business for once, I wouldn't have wasted my time here with you." I explained in exasperation, clenching my fists as I spoke.
Kabuto's only response to my rambling was furrowed eyebrows and a thinned line made by his lips.
"Even if I was present at the time, you shouldn't expect me to do all of the work myself." He muttered indignantly.
I raised my eyebrows. "Oh, really? If I remembered correctly, you're Orochimaru's favourite assistant who happily does everything and anything or his beloved 'Lord' and has no goals in life than that damned snake. So yeah, I did expect you to do all of the work because that's your goal isn't it?" I mocked harshly, placing my hands on my hips.
Suddenly, Kabuto swiftly got right in front of my face, forcing me to step back a bit for personal space. The look he was giving me wasn't like any other look he had ever given me and it kind of brought shivers down my spine. He looked though as if he simply lost all respect and patience for me.
"You know, sometimes I wish I could rip those pretty, lustrous lips of yours right off your face so you could shut up for once." He breathed huskily in my ear which made me gasp at his newly-founded tone.
I noted that he said 'pretty, lustrous lips', which made my stomach twist. Then I remembered the time when I voluntarily kissed him without any warning and the moment when he responded to the kiss as passionate as myself. Does that mean he liked the kiss we shared? Because if he was referring my lips as pretty and lustrous, that meant he enjoyed and savoured it. The thought of that made my cheeks heat up a bit.
Kabuto then retreated his head and gave me a long look. It looked like his eyes glistened in a way that he was hurt by my words.
"You talk as if you know everything about everything, which is inconsiderate to begin with. But going as far to talk about me like you know everything about me… you've crossed the line." He seethed as his eyes squinted by his anger.
I didn't know what to say since it was rare seeing Kabuto genuinely furious, so my best bet was to keep quiet.
"You think you're the only one who was traumatized and went through hell which leads you to believe that everyone should care every single damn about you. For the record, princess, you're not the only one here living in misery for the most part." He added half-heartedly as I could tell that he was trying to hold back tears.
This was the very first time I had seen Kabuto this sensitive before, and I knew right off the bat that he wasn't faking it at all. I knew that he went through a harsh time solely because he warned me when we were on that mission. But back then, he was a controlled face as he didn't feel sorrow at the time I overheard him say it. However this time, he looked as if he was struggling to keep his tears intact and if I was correct, he was considering in letting them fall. I hoped that wasn't the case because I couldn't handle a crying Kabuto or at least I thought I couldn't.
I heard him sigh then he quickly returned to the spot he sat earlier. "Forget what I said." He lowly demanded as he sat back down on the ground with his arms rested on his knees in front of him.
I examined his body language very carefully; his head was hanging as he avoided eye contact, his arms were dangling off his knees as if they had no feeling in them, his back was slouched forward and his whole body was resting against the pile of clutter behind him. I made up my conclusion for my examination: Kabuto was mentally reliving his past which was making him feel overwhelmed and distressed especially after telling me off that I shouldn't be talking about him like I knew him. Now it made sense; what he had gone through was just as bad as my experiences, if not it was similar. All of a sudden, a feeling of empathy grew within my chest with that thought in mind.
This drove the feeling within me to know more about Kabuto and get a better insight of his life. And the best way to do that was to comfort him.
So I went ahead with my mental plan and walked over towards Kabuto. I had a gut-feeling that he knew I was moving towards him but still chose to keep his eyes taped to the floor. I sat down right in front of his lifted knees which were the only barrier separating Kabuto and I. I smoothly reached both hands out towards him and carefully removed his glasses from his face. The slight touch of his skin caused him to wince as he shot his gaze right up to me with his eyes slightly wide and glossy. The look he gave me said along the lines of, 'what are you doing?' as I gave him a reassuring look.
"It's a hassle cleaning the tears off of the lenses, so for your own good I'll hold on to them. You of all people should know that already." I commented calmly as I gently wiped his glasses with a silk-made cloth and then folded them carefully.
Hearing this made Kabuto's eyes widened in shock, founding this new kind gesture of mine surprising which was kind of an offense in my part.
I threw him a soft glare at him. "Hey, I can be nice if I want to." I defended with a small pout.
A grey eyebrow was raised on behalf of the male medic-nin. I huffed impatiently then regain back the patience I had lost.
"Besides, you look as if you're on the verge of crying because you're reliving the feelings you had in your past. It gets overwhelming and painful to the point where you can't hold it inside anymore, that's why you're tearing up, right?" I summarized the situation softly as I played with his short, grey bangs.
Kabuto winced at my kind physically gesture as his body tensed up when I leaned a bit closer to him. I gave him a look to assure him that my sole purpose at this moment was to help him feel better and give him the comfort he desperately needed, whether he wanted it or not. Instantly reading that my heart was in the right, he gave out a grateful sigh as his head leaned towards where my hand was. My hand went ahead and tangled its fingers in his bangs carefully to prevent any tangles. He rested his eyes as his breathing rate slowed down with his lips slightly parted.
"I know— from experience —that talking about it helps rather than keeping it inside all the time. So whatever the problem is, just know that I'm here to listen and I'll do the best I can to make you feel better." I reassured him softly as I watched him open his eyes and saw within them that I now gained his trust which gave me a good feeling in my chest.
After taking a deep breath in, his first words I distinctly remembered was, "I don't know who I am."
I flinched away from him due to the unexpected confession of his. That was probably the last thing I thought would ever come out of his mouth. Then I instantly gained the idea that he meant it not in a legitimately.
"Meaning, you don't know what kind of person you are? Like, you're unknown to your identity?" I guessed thoroughly as I made a thinking face.
Kabuto nodded slowly then he continued. "When I was just a child, I was accidently caught in the battlefield resulting me having severe head and physical injuries. I was found by a nearby orphanage and a woman who nurtured all of the kids and she healed my injuries. They brought me to the orphanage and they discovered that I had no memories of myself or my past, diagnosing me with long-term memory loss." He explained softly as he looked down at his hands that were resting on his lap.
Hearing just the beginning of Kabuto's life already caught my full attention, especially when he mentioned that he suffered amnesia and doesn't remember anything at all and possibly to this day. But there was one thing that I couldn't shake off from my thoughts.
"Wait, if you forgot everything including yourself, then how did you remember your name?" I asked curiously, hungry for an answer to my question.
"That's because it's not my birth name to begin with; I completely forgot my name too." He answered simply as he finally gathered the courage to look me in the eye, but immediately dropped his gaze a second later. "They gave me the name 'Kabuto' when one of my soon-to-be closest brothers placed a helmet on my head to prevent me from getting hurt ever again."
"That makes a whole lot of sense as to where you got that name." I admitted, nodding in an approving matter.
Kabuto shrugged off my compliment and continued in which he placed a microscopic smile on his face. "There was one time I stayed up past curfew and the staff from the orphanage told me to tell them what time was it on the clock and I couldn't tell because I couldn't see what the clock said. The staff thought that I just had a low IQ but the medical kunoichi that healed me caught on that it was my lack of perfect vision and not my intelligence. She gave me her pair that she wore as a gift and told me to keep it, which made me cry in gratitude." As he continued with his story, I noticed that his voice got shakier almost every time he mentioned that woman who took him in and cared for him.
"Who is the kunoichi you keep mentioning about anyway? What's she like?" I asked him as I made myself comfortable.
"Nonō Yakushi, also known as the Wandering Miko. She was captain of the Medic Corps and a former Anbu that worked for Danzo but instead wanted to run and be head of the Leaf's Orphanage. They, including myself, called her 'mother'." He answered softly as he gazed at the ceiling.
"Yakushi…" I repeated deeply to myself, then something popped out of my head in realization. "Wait, I just realized that you took her last name."
Kabuto grunted a 'yes'.
"She must mean a lot to you. I find it very cute that you looked up to her as your mother, and I bet she taught you everything about medical ninjutsu." I remarked as I went back to playing with his light bangs which he didn't mind me doing.
Kabuto lowered his pupils until they settled on me as he looked blankly at me. "Yes, she did. And the glasses in your hand over there are the same ones she gave me." He pointed out as he cocked his head to where he saw the glasses in my grasp.
I gave him a small smile. "So then what happened?" I then asked, wanting him to continue which he accepted.
"Then one night, Danzo and his two Anbu ninja, one of which was Lord Orochimaru himself, encountered Mother and assigned her to a top-secret mission that he states only she was capable in doing. She originally turned down the mission but Danzo didn't accept her answer and threatened to take down the orphanage. She had no choice but to accept the mission but then Danzo also requested one of the orphans to do this mission too, which she immediately refused for that to happen. He ended up threatening the stability of the orphanage which made her cave in. She deeply cared for the kids and the orphanage and she would do anything to protect it from harm." He told me as his eyes once again caught interest of his hands.
This man named "Danzo" had been mentioned quite a bit, and by the sound of his voice, Kabuto wasn't particularly fond with him. However that wasn't the reason why his name caught my interest. I could've sworn I heard of his name before, a long time ago when I was a child. I remembered Itachi mentioning something about him one time when he told me he was off on another mission and he said his name stressfully, as if he was a thorn on his side. This "Danzo" person was probably the worst if he got on the nerves of Kabuto and Itachi and maybe even others. I would look into it on another time.
"The orphan. Which kid was assigned to that mission?" I questioned interestedly as I rested my folded arms on the man's knees.
Kabuto didn't seem to mind me doing this as he answered my question.
"It was me. I volunteered willingly to do this mission." He answered straight-forwardly as he looked strongly at me.
My lips parted on his answer. "But why? That mission could have killed you!" I exclaimed shockingly, dumbfounded by his stupidity.
"I was aware of that, even as a child. But I felt like I had to, as a ninja… that was something I wanted to be when I was really young." He defended himself as his eyelids rested.
I sighed heavily at his answer but allowed him to continue.
"It was then I left the orphanage to carry out this mission. It was a very long one and I was on it for many years, spying other nations as I gathered private Intel from villages for the Leaf. I played countless identities to cover up my true ambition from other villages, it came to the point where I had been every single person I could think of… except for myself. I lost the sense of knowing who I really was. To this day, I still have no clue who I am and my main goal in life is answering that question: just who am I?" He said softly, his voice getting a bit shaky again.
My hand subconsciously gripped his knee for comfort and then I asked him, "What happened during this mission?"
It was after I asked this question, his shoulder microscopically trembled and I could've sworn I saw his lower lip quivered in pain. Probably something big happened I thought that this was the first time Kabuto expressed his true emotions rather than covering them and lie about it.
"It was when I portrayed myself as a shinobi from the Hidden Stone Village. I was suddenly attacked by another shinobi but I easily brought them down. It was then I realized who that person was when I walked over to the lifeless body…" He mumbled as his bangs curtained his upper face.
"Who was it? Who tried to kill you?" I tightened my grip on his knee, begging him to tell me this person's identity.
When he finally gathered enough valor to give me eye contact, I noticed that there were tears in his eyes, prepared to fall at any moment. However his face looked calm and blank as he looked at me; he was probably trying to stop himself from tearing up and I understood why.
"It was Mother. She was the one who tried to kill me." He answered in a wounded voice as the tears in his eyes continued to grow.
I gasped in surprise and in sorrow for Kabuto. I could only imagine how hurt he felt when his only mother figure tried to kill him with no reason given. There was no point in me imagining it because the same had happened to me with my eldest sibling; he tried to kill me without any remorse whatsoever. The fact that Kabuto and I were sort of alike made me a sense of relief and a new-found respect for the male.
"I'm so sorry that happened. But why would she do something like that… why would she ever wanted to kill you? Weren't you like a son to her?" I played with his bangs for the third time; I couldn't help myself, his hair was so soft and smooth.
Kabuto avoided my question as he added, "Not only that. When I noticed it was her, I immediately went ahead and tried healing her. And when she looked up at me with her semi-lifeless eyes, she had no clue who I was… she didn't know who I was at all…"
My eyes widened when he said this. That was an ultimate slap in the face, and I felt disgusted by it. But despite that, he went ahead to defend his "Mother".
"At first, I thought it was because she didn't have her glasses at the time since they fell off when she hit the ground. I gave her my own pair so that she could see and recognize me better. But even improving her sight didn't help her remember me the slightest bit. I was like a stranger to her…" He pointed out to give me a better insight, which made me feel more disgusted and hurt for him.
I glanced aside, processing the information Kabuto gave me as I tried to put the pieces together.
"That makes sense." I commented out loud, gaining the male's attention. "That's probably why she tried to kill you in the first place; she simply didn't know who you are and thought that you were an enemy or something along those lines."
Kabuto's gaze dropped. "Well, you're half right there." He confirmed as I raised an eyebrow, telling him to be specific.
"I ran away from her body without completely treating her, resulting her to die from her injuries. It was then when I was alone once again, I was encountered by none other than Orochimaru. He brought me to one of his experiment labs near the area we were in and told me the real mission Mother was actually assigned to." He told me as I retracted my hand away from his hair, assuming that it was making him a bit uncomfortable.
"What did Orochimaru tell you?" I asked in curiosity.
Kabuto instantly became silent, refusing to answer my question right away. His breathing became unsteady as he clenched his hands together very tightly. This made me anxious; I wasn't sure what he was going to say since he was acting all nervous and pressure that I hadn't really seen before.
"For some reason, Danzo saw me as a threat because I was very skilled in spying, blending in, and gathering crucial information from others, he thought that I would end up putting the Leaf in danger. So he convinced Mother to assassinate me to prevent that from happening." He finally answered my question, which didn't really make a whole lot of sense to me.
"But, how is that possible? To psychologically convince someone in killing someone they cared about? Plus the fact that she completely had no memory of you."
Kabuto gave me an understanding look to my slight confusion and he spoke.
"According to Lord Orochimaru, Danzo never revealed to Mother that she had to kill me; he just said to kill a traitor of him is all. And to make sure she didn't recognize me, they gave her false pictures of me all grown up so that they brainwashed her into thinking that me in those pictures are me and not the one she tried to kill." He replied dully.
After hearing Kabuto's past, I learned two things from it: I knew that he went through a similar fate like mine, and I discovered possibly when he and the snake first crossed paths.
"But, there's something I still don't understand." I remarked simply as I got the male's attention. "Why join with Orochimaru? What does he have to offer to you?"
Kabuto placed somewhat of an offended look. "Because he said that he'll help me find my purpose in life. He said that he'll watch over me, raise me, and become something that I'm destine to be. He said it himself… he'll help me find my identity… and find my purpose in life…" He amended hardly, daring me to rebut.
I decided to keep my mouth shut for my own good. Especially the fact that he was opening up to me, meaning that he trusted me. I wasn't going to lie, it made me feel good that he thought of my judgement very highly.
"Is that the reason why you're so loyal to him?" I assumed blankly, already knowing the answer.
When Kabuto nodded, the tears he tried so hard to hold back fell along his cheeks as his eyes avoided to look at me.
"I figured… if I were to stay with him, I will finally figure out the person I truly am rather than another fake identity. I want to know my purpose…" He told me as his bangs covered his eyes and his tears continued to fall.
I wasn't sure what to say to that because I was an honest person and I said what it was. However, that sometimes came out as "blunt"; I should be more sensitive to this situation than I normally would've handled it. So I decided to say something that a particular someone told me not too long ago.
"Don't let your past affect you because whatever happens, happens, and everything happens for a reason. Don't dwell on the past because it's not worth your time. Just forget about it and move on…" I quoted the advice the medic-nin gave to me earlier today.
Or yesterday, depending on whatever time it was right now.
Kabuto winced at my words; I knew right there he recognized his words being copied from my mouth. His eyes gave off a rare sparkle in his eyes; I was taught that if someone had a sparkle in their eyes, they were unique and their personal couldn't be replicated. In conclusion, Kabuto himself was special, he just simply doesn't know it yet.
"You're going through an Identity Crisis, a period of uncertainty and/or confusion of your sense of self. This is commonly caused by constantly changing your role in society to the point you have no clue of your true identity." I informed him monotonously in which he listened very carefully to my words.
Kabuto furrowed his eyebrows at my assumption. Not in a critical way, it looked as if he was interested in my perception to his situation.
"And if what you're saying is true… what is your suggestion in fixing it?" He inquired as he folded his arms.
"Here's the thing though, about 'fixing' it: it depends on the person." I pointed out nonchalantly. "With you specifically, you rely on others to find your sense of self due to your long-term memory loss; you believe that they'll help you find yourself if you stick around them for long enough. It's because that you depend on others to find who you really are and your purpose in life, it doesn't end up well for you every time."
I had a gut-feeling that Kabuto wasn't really satisfied with my blunt honesty, but he also knew where I was coming from; I knew how he was feeling and he had no clue how true this fact was.
"You were with your 'Mother' since the first day you two met, and she ended up attempting to murder you. You aligned yourself with Danzo and he ended up betraying you. Now you're with Orochimaru and there's no telling what will happen but I'm pretty sure it's not going to be good." I added supporting details to show him that I wasn't speaking by opinion.
"I understand that, but…"
"It's not the matter of understanding… it's the matter of doing…" I interjected carelessly, shaking my head.
Kabuto slowly lifted his gaze until our pupils connected by sight.
"You don't need others to find yourself, Kabuto. You can find your identity, you can find your purpose… you can find your reason for living if you only rely on yourself." I told him softly as he gave me shocked eyes. "I know it sounds selfish, but believe me, being selfish isn't always a bad thing. You, yourself should always be your first priority no matter what. Set goals so you, yourself will achieve. When you fail, get up on your own and improve your mistakes. Be grateful of what you have already instead of being grateful for what others have. Find something only you'll look forward to because that will give you reason to live every passing day."
The baffled look on Kabuto's face paused ever since I listed all of the possible things that could define him as his identity. I could understand why he was so shocked; something so easy to do but hard to complete.
"And, most importantly…"
Kabuto's face rested, prepared to hear my finally word of advice.
I subconsciously wiped his almost-dried-up tears from his left cheek in which he didn't expect that to happen at all.
"Be honest with yourself and your emotions. If you want to stop being someone you're not, then stop lying to yourself and let the real you come out. There's going to be people who love or hate you, but what they think doesn't mean anything. All that matters is knowing who you are and being happy with your identity." I smiled softly as I gently placed my hand on his temple.
He parted his lips in awe. I then stood up from where I originally sat and settled once again on the floor, right next to the grey haired male as I gave him a long look which he returned a look himself.
"And believe me when I say this… you're not a bad person at all. Far from it actually." I mentioned kindly, making his eyes a bit glossier. "When I'm around you, I feel as though you're being yourself and not a stuck-up, heartless jerk. Yes, you're still annoying as hell and still very sarcastic, but that's a part of your personality and the last thing I want is for you to pretend to be someone you're not around me."
The look we gave each other was both strong and compassionate; his deep, dark-coloured eyes were mesmerizing as he was captivated by my own eyes.
I rested my forehead on his as I kept my gaze looking directly into his eyes. "Find your identity for yourself… and be happy for only yourself and no one else… because you're much more than someone's subordinate…" I breathed.
It was after a period of comfortable silence when Kabuto finally spoke up.
"How do you do it?" He asked quietly to himself but I was still able to overhear what he said.
"Do what?" I repeated curiously, moving my head away.
"How do you always seem to know what to say?" He asked me as he wiped away the remnants of his tears.
I blinked at his question he clarified. "I'm an Uchiha. We're always supposed to know what to say; it's a necessary trait." I answered, my tone and look signaling that the answer wasn't complicated.
Kabuto disagreed by shaking his head. "No, I feel like it's much more than that, princess…"
"Why the hell do you call me princess, anyway? It's annoying and I don't see the point in calling me that…" I frowned in irritation.
Kabuto let out a soft chuckle then said something that literally made my heart stop.
"The point in calling you that… you're simply beautiful as one…" He breathed soothingly, giving me a glossy look.
My cheeks immediately turned pink at the boy's compliment; it was one of the nicest comments someone had ever given me. I was speechless because it came from Kabuto's mouth; the same person who I picked on for a very long time. The fact that he literally called me beautiful caused a warm, fuzzy sensation building within my chest; it was such a good feeling I couldn't describe it.
"I-I…" I stammered blankly. "I actually don't know what to say…" I admitted shyly.
Out of the blue, a pair of strong, soft lips pressed hardly against mine, causing me to gasp from the unexpected act. The lustrous lips moved against mine as my mind tried to process exactly what was going on: four eyes' lips were on mine, desperately waiting for me to respond. As my mind cleared up, I eyed the person responsible for taking captive of my lips which was none other than Kabuto himself, like I figured. His lips then moved away from mine and gazed deeply into my eyes as I did the same. I knew my cheeks were still pink and my heart was pounding way too loudly that the medic-nin himself could hear. Said person placed his forehead on mine once again as his hot breath heating my own lips, raising the temptation of wanting his lips on mine again.
"I don't expect you to say anything…" He whispered huskily as my adrenaline sky-rocketed. "I rather not have you speak at all…"
The next thing I knew, Kabuto cupped my face with both hands and forced my lips to press his hardly. I gasped at this sudden movement again, but I immediately recuperated my senses and responded to his lips my moving my mouth passionately against his just as he did to me.
He lovingly licked my lower lip, asking for access in which I gratefully granted his wish; his tongue rummaged within my mouth, tasting every bit of my oral cavity. I let out a wanting moan as his tongue massaged mine, feeling his tongue against mine while enjoying the taste behind his lips. I slid my arms around his neck as I desperately deepened the kiss and he knew of this as he too deepened. I heard his soft moan when his hand stroked my exposed thigh; his hand was addicted to my creamy, lightly-tanned skin as it continued to caress. The hand on my upper limb stroked upward to my side and behind my back as the other hand did the same, resulting in two arms firmly around my waist as they pulled me closer to its host.
I gasped during the kiss the second I felt my body being picked up off the ground and once I was settled, I knew right away I was now sitting on Kabuto's upper laps as he continued to kiss me fervently. His hands roamed all over my slim figure as one of my hands cupped his cheek and the other stroked every muscle lining he had. When his hands sneaked underneath my top, feeling and fondling my abdomen and back, it sent shivers to the very core of me; his skin touching mine was so piercing… yet so enticing.
I never wanted it to stop: his body pressed against mine, his hands roaming on my skin, his mouth tasting my mouth, the sounds of desperate moaning and the need to express our physical attraction.
I was attracted to Kabuto, and I knew full well he was attracted to me. But what was the real meaning behind it anyway?
The shivers of desperation increased when Kabuto finally moved away from my lips and moved down to my chin, kissing and sucking it, making me moan even more. He left a trail of kisses from my chin, down to my neck, causing my breathing to stagger in anxiety and excitement. I pulled my head back to give him access to my whole neck and he immediately took advantage of the offer as he kissed and nibbled on my sensitive skin. I let out a soft gasp as the excitement within me kept building up at a rapid speed by the feeling of his lips on my skin; the craving for more of this was double the craving of his lips on mine. It was too good to be true. I untied his hair, letting it fall gracefully on his shoulders and my hand immediately tangled itself in his light-shaded hair. As I did so, Kabuto went from kissing hungrily on my neck to kissing seductively on my collarbone. I finally gathered the courage to allow a soft cry of thrill to escape my mouth while I leaned against the male closer until my chin rested on his shoulder, gripping his hair tighter as he continued to kiss my neck and collarbone.
My mind started to get frantic with the desperation of tasting the boy's lips again, so I used my grip on his hair and forcibly pulled him away from my neck. He growled in pain with gritted teeth but the second I captured his lips once again with my own, he forgot about the fact that I literally tugged on his hair. The second time our lips made contact, the sync was faster and hungrier than the first; I could literally hear the sound of our mouths parted and reattached repeatedly. Kabuto didn't bother to wait for my permission to taste the inside of my mouth since his tongue swiftly slid inside my mouth and explored every inch of it. At one point, I followed suit and slid my tongue into his mouth and explored just as he did. Overall, this experience was really hot.
With lack of time tracking, neither of us had any clue what time it was and how long we had been doing this for.
That thought crossed my mind when we finally pulled away from the kiss for need of air. I was shocked of how out of breath I was; I never expected it to be this intense when I imagined it. I eyed at Kabuto who slouched against a pile panting as if he had used up most of his chakra right off the bat while I myself panted from lack of air too.
The kiss was intense to say the very least; it was everything above that. The way our movements symbolized how desperate we were to feel each other was over bounding, and how we thought of that the same way. It was as if one person does one thing, the other would respond to it guaranteed. Not to mention how hungry our lips were and the need to feel one's mouth, it felt unruly for the most part and my gut was telling me that the medic-nin in front of me felt the same way. He was questioning about what happened, if it meant something, how our attraction was canny, how there was no formula to explain our chemistry, and many more thoughts that I could write a book about.
Despite this, what really boggled my mind was how seductive his hands were as they ran all over my body and how he desperately wanted to touch me without me clothed. For crying out loud, he almost removed my shirt when he felt my lower torso under my top. I couldn't blame him for being a pervert because in all honesty, I would've removed his shirt and feel every toned muscle his body had to offer. But the thought of him possibly willing to go ahead and take it to the next level right here was something I couldn't shake off. I could understand that he finally trusted me and might even be attracted to me, but to go so far where my virginity and probably his was on the line?
Had I given him false hopes? Was there something more he felt than just attraction?
That could lead to more questions than answers, and for me personally, I felt like I should get the record straight with him or else he would end up being a lost puppy in ninja society because of his "special someone". I wouldn't really classify myself as that really, but for Kabuto… there was a possibility. For once, the boy's thoughts of me relating to this stuff made me feel good and accomplished even.
The fact that I was still sitting on the grey haired male didn't cross my mind until I snapped myself out of my thoughts and said person I just kissed being the first thing I laid eyes on. The look in his eyes were kind of foggy to me because I saw a mixture of compassion, empathy, enticement, desperation… it was literally the tip of the feelings iceberg. I responded to his gaze with a simple but kind look as I cocked my head to the side. With that, I lifted myself off of the boy's laps and sat right next to him once again without any words being said from neither of us. The moment I made myself comfortable on the ground, I noticed that his hair was free of its ponytail. I slightly flushed on that fact; it was me who pulled the hair tie and pulled his hair on top of it.
As a kind gesture, I picked up his hair tie off the ground and reached out to tie his hair back into its usual style as I scooted behind him. Despite not being aware of this, Kabuto allowed me to continue what I was doing: sliding behind him and tying his hair back. Once I adjusted his newly-tied hair, I let my hands to fall on the male's shoulders as I leaned a part of my weight on him. He didn't seem to mind; he exhaled air as he laid his head back towards me, partially resting on my shoulder. When he did this, I saw his naturally tanned neck of his own fully exposed to me, making my mouth water from within. I wanted to resist the temptation of tasting his hydrated skin since what happened earlier was already stressing enough, but it was literally telling me to go for it.
Apparently my will was weak at the moment because I did what my hormones wanted and not my logic. I bent my head over his shoulder and wasted no time in lovingly moving my lips against his skin, kissing and licking it like it was my favourite Popsicle flavour I craved for a long time. There were moans coming from Kabuto's lips indicated that he loved what I was doing and begged to continue by gripping tightly on my leg. I continued to slowly but deeply kiss his sensitive skin below his chin as the owner of the neck my lips were on breathed inconsistently through his tightly gritted teeth. At one point, I heard the grey haired medic-nin whimper in pleasure and excitement, wanting more and more of it.
Once again, my senses kicked in and warned me that this was going too far and if not, it would soon. And though tempting, I wasn't ready nor I wanted to go there… especially so soon. But just before I removed my mouth from his skin, Kabuto swiftly spun around, grabbed my neck and crashed his lips on mine. I groaned in pain from that hasty act but in satisfaction with his lips hungrily devouring mine. He went ahead to nibble on my lower lip which caused me to whimper in pain… pain that was more pleasurable than harmful.
After a moment of kissing and nibbling each other's lips, my hormonal excitement finally stabilized and I pulled my lips away from his, earning a whining hum from the male as he panted. I gave him an apologetic look while I too was panting from lack of air. I don't know why I felt bad for pulling away when he didn't want to since it should only go forth if the couple was ready; however Kabuto was ready, I wasn't.
Just the thought of having sex, throwing my virginity away, and giving up all of my physical assets to Kabuto or anyone for that matter, was too scary and hard to think about.
I huffed out my frustration then I moved away from his personal space and seated myself with my knees just below my chin. I puffed out air the second time as my hands were placed near both sides on the floor while I leaned against the pile behind us. My mind was racing with thoughts and feelings about almost everything, my heart was palpitating out of stress, and I could feel my body temperature increase at an outstanding rate.
Why the hell was this happening to me of all people?
I was on the verge of hyperventilating, until I sensed a cool, refreshing wave of chakra being poured into my body. This surprised me because it was definitely not my chakra, so where was this chakra coming from? I then realized that a hand was taped on my forehead and that it was responsible of injecting chakra into me. I glanced aside and saw that it was Kabuto who was giving me this cool chakra. I raised an eyebrow at this act of generosity.
Kabuto, like always, sensed what I was thinking and called off his healing chakra as he retracted his hand from my forehead.
"You're body temperature was dangerously rising. I figured you'd realize and simply focus your chakra to tend it, but I can see you mind is on other things." He stated simply, giving me a soft look.
I avoided looking into his eyes any longer than necessary and kept them staring at my knees. I knew for a fact he was feeling just as awkward and stressed about the situation just as I was, but he was being the one who wasn't making it a big deal. I respected that, but I didn't expected it.
What was also unexpected was that Kabuto gently placed his hand on top of mine. I winced at his touch and snapped my gaze towards him only to see him giving me a comforting, pure look from those dark orbs of his.
"I'm open anytime if you want to converse about this. But just know…" He soothed as his thumb slowly rubbed my hand. "… I didn't do that just for mere pleasure…"
My eyes twitched wide for a second, stunned to hear his confession behind wanting to kiss me. What was more shocking was the fact that he admitted that he didn't kiss me for pleasure or simply because he was being horny; there was something more he felt than just wanting to make out.
It was just as I feared: Kabuto was starting to carry feelings for me. To make matters worse, I gave him false hopes by doing stuff like I just did. I knew I would be damned if he started falling for me and I would be sent straight to hell if I started falling for him. This was forbidden for so many reasons and it was simply a curse to fall for someone who was supposed to be my enemy. Kabuto Yakushi, the person who cared for no one, lied and cheated his way to success, pushed others buttons for his entertainment, respected one of the most wanted rogue ninja in the land, and who was basically a sociopathic narcissist… was my enemy and I was his, yet we were attracted to each other.
This was a dangerous matter that must be stopped. I shouldn't have anymore any physical attraction with him until my allegiance with Orochimaru finally ended. Until then, I must stay away from Kabuto at all cost; I have to stop myself from having feelings for him or before it was too late.
But a part of me was saying that I shouldn't avoid him at all; I would him hurt if I do. Kabuto had already been through situations where people important to him use him then toss him aside for person gains or out of orders. I knew for sure Orochimaru doesn't care about Kabuto in that sense and I was certain he wouldn't mind if something bad happened to him, despite thinking highly of him. That left only me, the one person who actually was concerned and I guessed cared for him. I could understand where he was coming from, but if he started falling for me, everything I told him was pointless. He should be happy on his own and not with others, but now he had set his eyes on me.
As much as my fondness for him grew a lot over time, I shouldn't let my feelings get involved with him regardless his feelings for me. It pained me to think such a thing, but it was only for our benefit.
With that in thought, I returned his physical gesture by rotating my hand while he still gripped onto mine and gently wrapping my fingers around his hand. As we held hands, we gave each other a long, comforting look; Kabuto gazed at me with pureness and tenderness whereas I gazed at him with sadness, guilt, and empathy.
That concludes Chapter 11! Let me know what you think about it guys, okay? I'll see you in the next chapter!