This tea shop is based on a place I used to go as a student where they sold tea, coffee, chocolate and you could take a seat and sample it. Their products were to die for !
As her Captain sipped some Chinese tea with a hum of appreciation, she caught his amused glance at the amount of whipped cream that topped her hot chocolate.
"I thought this was a tea shop," he rumbled with a gentle smile.
Gwen's heart leapt in her chest; his voice fell when he was relaxed, and the low tones did strange things to her body. And even though she procured all her stock from this tea shop, she loved even more their chocolate section… and the table laid out to treat your palate. This boutique screamed 'Created for Gwen's pleasure', and she was grateful for it. Even more grateful to share it with this incredibly complicated man that was Tōga Taishō.
"Tea shop, chocolate. What's the difference ? I adore all of it. But anyway, about your Hime."
His eyes flashed golden, and she struggled not gawk. Was there any justice in the world that such a gorgeous man would, on top of that, be gifted with an eye colour of molten gold and markings that enhanced his natural cheekbones ? She almost never spotted the blue arrows of the Inu no Taishō; they were playing hide and seek with her sight.
"I guess she was the daughter of a Daimyo if they called her a Hime," Gwen mused.
Tōga nodded; she truly had an incredible understanding of the feudal era in Japan, which was pretty impressive for a twenty-six-year-old British woman. It made more sense since he'd discovered the nature of her former curriculum; ancient civilisations. Hence the reason why she picked up languages so easily, and understood the constraints of remote times.
"How much do you know about her ?"
Breath short, Tōga felt his knuckles clamp around his mug of tea.
"Izayoi," he breathed.
Gwen sent him a worried look.
"Did you marry her ?"
He gulped.
"Twice."
This time, the young woman froze over her chocolate, the steam creating a veil that rose in a dancing plume before her eyes.
"Uh ?"
Tōga ignored the vice grip of sorrow clamped around his lungs and took a deep breath.
"I do not remember if we had a ceremony back then. We made up for it when I met her in this life."
Gwen's eyes widened, then he hopelessly watched a careful mask slip in, erasing the micro expressions of her lovely face. Her eyes, though, filled with hurt and resignation before they flickered to his left hand. Or rather, to the absence of wedding band on his ring finger.
"You are married to your princess of the feudal era," she deadpanned.
And her words tore through him like a scythe through tall grass. For a moment, Tōga considered packing his things and disappearing, to leave all this hurt behind him. To have no one that could remind him of this marriage that had brought equals hopes and despair in his life. Why did it hurt so much, more than ten years later ?
Gwen was waiting, eyes averted, giving him time and space. Leaving the ball in his court, so he could decide whether he wanted to take a step forward, or a step back. She trusted him… could he trust her ? How could silence be so heavy ?
"No longer, she… left me."
"Why ?" she breathed, her eyes almost liquid. As if she was suffering alongside him. As if the idea of leaving him was so preposterous that it touched the realm of impossibility.
"She refused our past. She thought I was constructing defences to handle the things I had to do in the army. That my dreams were just a way to cope with PTSD."
The young lady frowned, and he could nearly see the coils running in her mind, wondering what could have happened to lead a marriage willed by karma to crash. How everything had spiralled out of control, inch by inch, until he was left contemplating the emptiness of his house, and the absurdity his wedding ring on the nightstand.
"How long were you married ?"
Twelve years.
"I… someday, I'll tell you. But not today."
Gwen took the rebuttal with as much grace as she could muster, nodding once. He watched cautiously how she gathered herself from the news, and set her mind into research mode once more.
"So, you say that Yōkai and ningen didn't quite get along at the time."
Hope swirled in the confines of his mind, struggling to surge free. He had burdened her shoulders with his pain, yet she didn't back down. Was it loyalty that kept her at his side ?
"Yes," he said, his voice slightly hoarse. "I was general of the west, and had several human domains under my rule. Most were used to me protecting them from base Yōkai, but they still feared me."
Izayoi never did. She stood up to a creature that could have ripped her apart with a single claw and still found the heart to argue against him.
"Survival instinct."
Gwen's conclusion called him back to the present.
"Do you think her family was well off ? Maybe they accepted in exchange of protection, or out of fear ? I bet you probably gave them tokens of wealth, right ?"
Tōga nodded absently, wondering why it filled him with pride to hear her say 'you' instead of 'Inu no Taishō'. It stated that he was one and the same, that old soul in a human's body. It brought him pride. Suddenly, the loneliness was replaced by an immense wave of gratitude.
"Why do you not work in your field, Gwen ? Your understanding of the past is astounding."
It was her turn to crumple, as if he'd dealt her a blow.
"I… never finished my degree."
"What happened ?"
He watched her swallow another mouthful of cocoa, the mask returning.
"A change of life."
He only arched his eyebrow purposefully, pushing his will into the expression that had reduced grown men to tears. Gwen was not immune to it; she seemed to be shaking, and he immediately withdrew his intention.
"Gods," she laughed, tears slipping in her voice. "You're like a dog with a bone."
Surprised by the sudden onslaught of anguish, Tōga reclined in his seat.
"Forgive me. You don't have to tell me. It's not the Captain asking."
But Tōga, the man, really wanted to know.
They had become closer in their past encounters, the Captain and recruit dynamic slipping away when outside the station. But he never crossed the line. And even though he knew he should back off, he just couldn't. Her genuine sincerity, her regard, her acceptance fuelled his life.
"My mother died," she revealed, her voice absent. "My father couldn't…"
If not for the hitch in her voice, Tōga might have been fooled by the incredible stillness of her body. But he knew that, beside the quiet and stoic façade, Gwen was a being of emotion and deep empathy. And the confession pained her.
"My father couldn't stay in the house anymore, he got a ridiculous price out of it," she scoffed. "With his teacher salary, he couldn't support both my brother and I. So I moved out, and told him I would take care of myself."
"And thus you landed in the tenth firefighter station."
"Hai," she responded, switching her usual 'aye' for a Japanese yes. The difference was subtle, but he could hear it all the same. Hai, she was under his protection now. The sudden urge to fold his long limbs around her and squeeze her into a bear hug almost moved him to her side, but they were in a public setting… and that line in the sand still stood between them.
"What did she do, your mother ?" he asked, seeking to dispel her gloominess.
"She taught mathematics."
Tōga cocked his head aside, finding humour in her path of life. Quiet, determined Gwen had rebelled with her own weapons.
"The reason why you chose history and culture ?"
Her lips quirked slightly, and he congratulated himself.
"Perhaps… perhaps I have lived a life in the past as well."
"As a noble lady, I am sure," he mused aloud.
Gwen's grey eyes widened, her cheeks dusting with red. The movement of her head alone, lashes lowering from the praise, betrayed her easily enough. So many little details seemed to spring to mind; her poise, her piano skills, her quiet contemplation and manners. Even after a few drinks, she didn't laugh out loud, didn't sway her body to attract males, didn't attract attention other than with the simplicity of her presence, and the beauty of her twinkling eyes. Gwen was refined, not by education, but by nature.
And… he'd only had ladies of high birth in his life. Ironic, given his background; the Inu no Taishō was a military man that rose in ranks and power, and ended top dog because of his prowess. He had not been high born like Inukimi or Izayoi. In this life, he'd had middle-class parents, content to go through their lives with their strange adopted son.
The realisation that he was attracted to noble manners startled him, and Tōga took another sip of his tea to hide his flustering.
With her unbound hair falling in a multitude of colours - revolving around dark blonde -, Gwen was far too distracting. His eyes followed absently the tawny tresses as they settled upon her bosom, teasing the delicious cleavage revealed by her wrap over dress. It wasn't overly open, not even remotely vulgar as it just teased the pale flesh and wrapped the rest in satiny fabric; still, it was nice to see that under the uniform hid a woman. A beautiful woman that definitely was in sharp contrast with the standard flat Asian silhouette he had been used to.
Didn't women bind their breast, in Japan, to assume the tube shape necessary for the kimono to look good ? Born of two cultures, one drilled in his bones, and one that had adopted him, Tōga definitely realised he enjoyed feminine curves. And damn this young woman for reminding him how beautiful she was, inside out.
The Captain frowned at his own wayward thoughts.
Tch, he shouldn't be watching her figure. What right did he have to find her pretty ? This was entirely too disgraceful. If Gwen noticed his distraction, she didn't call him on it as she went on explaining the strained relationship with her late mother.
"Noble or not, my mother and I fought a lot about my choice to pursue a career in ancient cultures, but I always felt at ease in old writings."
"Why ?" he frowned. Being a historian and a linguist was honourable. In his time, she would have been revered for her knowledge. Gwen smiled ruefully, the sadness lingering in her eyes causing his breath to hitch.
"Everything that steered from science fell into the lazy or crazy category. Or both."
His frown intensified, anger swirling in background for the judgement this woman had put her daughter through.
"That's pretty…"
Tōga stalled his tongue for fear of insulting a deceased.
"Harsh ?" Gwen supplied in a clipped tone. "Narrow minded ? Yeah. My father was the history geek, she obviously didn't quite share his passion."
Regret oozed from her voice, albeit her posture betrayed more anger than sadness. How difficult it must have been, to come to terms with those feelings about a mother she had lost. The feud could never be mended now. Somehow, it reminded him of his own son from the past. His dreams were still fuzzy, but he knew for sure he had died before repairing the broken bond with Sesshōmaru.
But this wasn't about him, and Gwen's eyes were shining with unshed tears.
"It doesn't matter now. She's gone."
Heart clenching, he reached forward and grabbed her hand in his much larger one.
Gwen stilled. A surge of power burst in his veins, the deep hum of something clicking into place, as if a circle had eventually been completed. Stunned, Tōga wondered if she could feel the vibration that caused his body to flare to life.
For the umpteenth time of his life, the former Inu no Taishō wondered if his human body was capable of producing yōki – the energy that sustained him when he was a full-blooded Yōkai. Was it the reason of his slow ageing? Of his physical sturdiness ?
For a moment, both of them caught their breath, their gaze focused on the sight of their entwined fingers. The hum was now settling around him like a blanket, pushing his shoulders to relax, bringing a form of solace he had not experienced for years.
"I'm sorry," he eventually said, squeezing Gwen's hand.
He retreated hastily for fear of wanting more. And when his gaze returned to hers, he was surprised to see the fire blazing in those incredible grey orbs.
"Don't be, it's not your fault."
Stubborn woman. What right did she have to refuse his compassion ?
"You need to accept empathy goes both ways," he reminded her. "You said once you were sorry I died."
Gwen flinched. "I… how did it happen ?"
Tōga was well aware that she was deflecting, but he allowed it. The memory of his own death was still very unclear; whenever he dreamt, he felt more regret and anger than sadness. As if he had died without having the time to realise.
"I don't know. There was fire, and a dragon as well. But I'm a firefighter, fires are my worst nightmare. So it's like the egg and the hen there, I'm not too sure what really killed me."
Gwen gave him that intense look that cut through his bones and bared his soul; she was using the sight. He shivered, waiting her verdict with bated breath.
"I see a house. No, a castle burning to the ground."
Something stirred in his limbs; the urge to fight. Then Gwen blinked, her gaze returning to normal.
"What if you became a firefighter because you died in a fire ?"
The shiver intensified, wracking his spine from top to bottom.
"Hum…"
"My mother died of monoxide intoxication. It is why I am here."
His breath caught; the last words that passed her lips rung like a court sentence.
"Why are you here, Tōga Inu no Taishō ?"
Believe it or not, the end of that scene caused me to shiver. There are so many things we do without thinking, so many dreams we pursue. If only people knew more about their past lives, they would understand so much more. I encourage you to look, you'd be surprised about what you find.