Gwen's widened when he pulled her by the sleeve and all but dragged her up to his office. There were not many men left in the common room. They passed by in a blur, the young woman struggling to keep up with his hurried steps. Even though he was limping, she nearly had to run to keep up. Didn't the damn dog realise how insanely long his legs were ? She would have snickered at the image had Tōga's energy not been so erratic.

His skin danced out of reach, warm fingers touching and going as he pulled upon the cotton at her wrist. Teasing her as she wondered if he was going to bite her head off anew. She'd poured her anguish and sadness into the piano, leaving her protective walls raw and withering. In her flayed heart, she knew that he had the power to break her. Tears begged to escape, and she blinked them away, wiping the residual moist upon her cheek with her other sleeve.

Her heart thundered a hundred miles a minute when they passed the door. Shaking hands folded in her back, but the mask of indifference refused to settle over her distraught features. Taishō closed the door at her back, brushing so close that she shivered. Then he heaved a great sigh; the sound melted her insides.

Then… silence.

Gwen kept her eyes glued to the floor stubbornly, feeling the tears win the battle against her iron will.

Damnit ! She didn't want him to see her like this. Shame crept up her spine; wasn't she strong enough to grace his unit ? But then, why was she crumbling down now ? It was too much. All too much. To lose his esteem would be to lose the world, but she had no ounce of battling spirit left. A pair of legs, clad in thick cloth and safety boots appeared before her, but the moist brimming in her eyes prevented her from seeing anything else than a dark blur upon the pale ground.

"Gwen."

And his voice rumbled like stones rolling under stormy waves.

"Gwen, look at me."

How could a command seem so regretful ? There was softness in his voice that he usually kept for children, or next of kin. The young woman took a deep, shuddering breath in hopes of chasing away that awful tension wrapped around her lungs. Tears leaked down her cheeks; she allowed them to fall, blinking some more away as she lifted her head.

Molten gold caught her gaze, worry oozing out so strongly that it threatened to shatter that line drawn in the sand. It was but an inch wide; it didn't stop his discreet smell from permeating, neither the energy that so effortlessly reached out, fuelled by his sturdy frame. But the line still stood, solid like a challenge, daring them to indent it…

"I…"

The words wouldn't come out. And thus, thoroughly vanquished by the sight of her distress, Tōga reached out and folded his arms around her lithe frame. The invisible line was blown away with the power of a sea storm, the winds shattering every single ounce of reservation as her body snuggled against him. It felt so right that he wondered why he'd denied himself for so long.

Gwen didn't gasp. Didn't cry out… and didn't push away. Overwhelmed by the encompassing embrace, she felt her control shatter and wither. The sobs came, unbidden and shameful, weakening her stance. The wobble of her knees didn't matter; his strength kept her standing. She wasn't sure her feet were touching the ground anymore. Gwen fisted his dark red t-shirt, anguish pouring out of her in long, heartbreaking waves.

"Gomen," he stated, reverting to his father's language.

An apology. Her heart lurched, wondering why he had to grovel for her mistakes, but she was too busy trying to rein in her tears to communicate it. They just kept pouring, two endless rivers, as if her heart tried to escape its confines. It was downright humiliating, but the rumbling wall of his chest only coaxed more emotions to overflow. He was a pillar of strength around her, safety and acceptance.

Gwen had not cried this freely since her mother's death… A large, warm hand landed upon her head, pressing her cheek into his soaked t-shirt. Long fingers soothingly caressed her hair, diving in between strands to massage the skull beneath. The heart-wrenching feeling slowly subsided, replaced by a sense of belonging that almost caused her to break down again. But the reassuring sound of Tōga's heart, of his arms tightly wound around her brought her such peace that Gwen sucked in a shuddering breath.

Her hands unclenched, one palm resting upon his chest while the other twitched. The need to circle his waist, to rest upon his frame and allow the world to continue its course was strong. But to do so would be to sell her heart; the protective embrace would shift to a lover's embrace. After today's ordeal, Gwen couldn't find the courage to test those waters. Rejection would crush what remained of her.

Yes, the wall had shattered to pieces on her behalf… and she would enjoy every second of it. Eventually, muffled words landed in her hair.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you. You didn't deserve it."

She tensed; had she ever heard the Captain say that accursed word ? Sorry ?

"Yes I did," she responded, her nose still stuck against his shirt. Too bad it was so stuffed from crying that she couldn't enjoy the smell of him.

"Gwen."

There is the stern tone again - Inu no Taishō returns.

Feeling she had overstayed her welcome, Gwen gathered her wits and crushed the instincts that screamed at her to stay put - she pushed away. His arms unwound, releasing her easily. Yet, he didn't move, daring her to take a step back; or perhaps, challenging her into creating that distance again. Gwen steeled herself and retreated slightly, craning her neck to find his troubled features.

"You deserve the suspension," he stated with conviction.

There's no arguing about it, but damn. Does he have to rub it in ?

There was no scolding in his voice, no disappointment. So why did she feel so inadequate ?

"But not the yelling."

Silence stretched as she acknowledged his words with a tilt of her head.

"Alright."

There was nothing more she could say for the regret shining in his eyes was enough; his gaze never lied. Gwen fished a tissue in her pocket and blew her nose; she probably looked a fright.

What now ? Do I walk away as if nothing happened ?

Did he sense she was about to flee ? Suddenly, the legendary Taishō composure seemed to dissolve as he reached for her shoulder. His touch was warm, welcoming, coaxing her to relax. Was it the charm, or his demon soul that tore through her walls so easily ?

"I was terrified, Gwen."

Her jaw fell slack. Inu no Taishō, the Captain, admitting fear ? She wanted to speak, to tell him now you know how I felt but her tongue was glued. His hand retreated from her shoulders, brushing his silvery bangs in frustration. Suddenly, that place upon her upper back felt very, very lonely.

"Listen," he went on. "I know you have a big heart, and a crazy streak. And I know your sense of duty is … well, as strong as mine and you'd jump into the fire for your colleagues. But I just am… more resistant than anyone else. So don't die on my account, OK ?"

Gwen's heart lurched, the memory of that building threatening to swallow him whole embedded in her brain.

"Resistant doesn't mean invincible, Taishō."

He shook his head with a chuckle, rubbing his upper chest absently.

"Believe me, I've had plenty of time to know what I can survive."

A shudder ran up the young woman's spine; there was a story here. Multiple stories, maybe, given his past in the military. But it would have to wait, because he just didn't understand what had pushed her into the fire.

"It's not that…", she started. The certainty of her voice caused golden eyes to snap to attention.

Alert ! You are cornering yourself, girl !

"Then why ?"

Gwen took a deep breath that left her a little lightheaded. The idea to start all over again, to return to their previous relationship was too much to bear. It was time to move on, to say her piece and, perhaps, ask for a transfer.

Time to take the big plunge, then.

"I wouldn't have done it for anyone, you know. I value my life but…"

Time seemed to still as the world was reduced to him. His eyes, wide open to her scrutiny. The tension of his jaw, the pain scarcely hidden, the deep red shirt that contrasted with his sun kissed skin, that waterfall of silver lying still at his back. Glorious, frozen in time.

Unattainable.

"… it's not worth living without you."

For a moment, his face remained stony. An eternity in the form of a millisecond where she was sure he could do nothing else than trample her heart. Then, something ignited in the endless pool of his golden irises and his features brightened in disbelief.

"Are you telling me what I think you are telling me ?" he breathed.

His yōki swirled wildly, and, for a moment, the markings showed on his cheekbones. Then they receeded, and Gwen found herself at a quandary. It was neither confirmation, nor a rebuke. But she just needed him to take position, to crush or elate, to break this damn wall once and for all… to break her, so she could rebuild her world without him in the picture.

"Don't you know ?" she chuckled depreciatively. "Jolyne says it's written all over my face when I look at you."

"I just thought…"

"What ?" she asked defensively. The longer he remained silent, the stronger the conviction that this was the end of the road for them.

"… it was some kind of hero worship."

The blow landed true, pining her heart with its icy claws.

Rejection.

Livid, Gwen nodded and, not trusting her voice anymore, spun on her heels. Her body was already pumping with adrenalin, ready to run dozens of blocks just to relieve the pain that tore her chest apart. Her hand reached for the handle, and she got ready to rip the door off its hinges when it violently clanged shut.

Then, before she could react, his hand grabbed her wrist and pulled, hard. Unbalanced, she felt her body twist under his strength. Gwen fell into her Captain, her hand out with a yelp.

"Wha…"

The exclamation died in her throat when his lips crashed over hers.

So, erm… at last ? I beat my record; first kiss after 25 499 words. The best I've ever done was 60 000 in 'What makes history' :D Not to mention Feä Bond which is much, much worse…