A fine mist hung in the air as Elizabeth rode up to the graveyard. She felt her hands trembling as she dismounted and tied Sergeant to a tree near a patch of grass. Taking her journal from the saddlebag, she drew in a deep breath before entering the cemetery.

As she made her way to Jack's grave, Elizabeth couldn't help feeling the cold seep through her bones. The late afternoon sun was hidden in the mists, creating a chill that felt more like winter than autumn. It could start snowing any day. December was nearly upon them; Christmas was only weeks away. Almost as if in acknowledgement of her thoughts, the wind picked up, the cold slicing straight through Elizabeth's shawl. She shivered, wrapping it more snugly around her body.

When she came to Jack's grave, she stopped and stared at the headstone for several long, quiet minutes. Various emotions swirled through her, emotions she couldn't keep at bay. Tears slid silently down her cheeks, making twin tracks over her face. Feelings she had long stuffed down out of a sense of self-preservation rushed to the surface.

Grief. Anger. Pain. Sadness. Despair.

She sank to the ground, small rocks biting into her knees. She wept without holding back.

Bill was right. She hadn't let herself truly grieve. How had she ignored the pain for so long? It hit her with full force, rocking her body with sobs. She allowed memory after memory to enter her mind. Her first meeting with Jack. Their tension and banter. The day he made his intentions known. Their first date. Their first kiss. All the roadblocks between them, starting in Hamilton and moving to Hope Valley. Their decision to take things slow. The months of courtship that turned to years. Doug's death and Jack's decision to go to the Northern Territories. Her terror at him leaving. His romantic proposal at the school the night before he had to go. The months of worry and fear that something would happen to him. Him being home for what became their last Christmas together. His homecoming and their subsequent wedding. Him leaving once again on a mission that was supposed to be safe. Her leaving Fort Clay, looking back from the stagecoach and waving as Jack waved back, getting smaller and smaller until he disappeared on the horizon. Seeing the Mountie ride into town only weeks before Jack was supposed to come home. Crumpling to the ground at the news of his death, Abigail holding her in support but grieving as well. The sharp pain of knowing she would never see her husband again in this life.

Elizabeth didn't push any of it away. She let herself feel every sharp, painful stab that pierced her heart as she thought of her lost love. She let herself feel the injustice and unfairness of losing Jack right as they had started their life together. She let herself feel the anger she harbored that he'd chosen to take an assignment right after their wedding, right after they'd been separated for nearly a year. As the pain and anger washed over her, she realized with a start that she hadn't forgiven him for leaving her like that. She hadn't forgiven him for choosing the Mounties over her.

She hadn't even known she needed to.

Elizabeth sucked in a sharp breath, dashing a hand over her eyes as the tears threatened to freeze on her cheeks in the biting breeze. She had been so focused on surviving after Jack's death, she hadn't acknowledged just how much it hurt her that he had left after their wedding.

"Why did you do it, Jack?" she whispered brokenly, barely conscious that she'd spoken the words out loud. "Why did you leave me? We had a beautiful life planned out. We'd finally gotten married after you were gone for so long. And then you left again." Her voice cracked and more tears streamed down her cheeks. "Why?" Fury mounted inside, and she slapped a hand against the ground. "Why?" This time, she screamed the word, tears flowing hot and fast from her eyes. She pounded the ground with both fists, needing an outlet for her anger. Sobs shook her, and she let out an anguished scream that echoed through the quiet graveyard.

Elizabeth lost track of time. She had no idea how long she gave vent to her anger and pain. She was consumed by the strength of her emotions, emotions too long pushed beneath the surface. As the anger faded, it was replaced by a grief that rocked her to the core. Jack was never coming back. She would never have an answer as to why he chose to leave her. She would never know what their life would have been like. She would never know what kind of a father he'd have been to little Jack and any other children that had come along.

The thought of children brought to mind the tiny life growing inside of her. She clutched a hand to her stomach, a different pain radiating through her. She couldn't stop the memory of the night her life changed from assailing her once again. She gasped, pressing her hands to her head, trying to block it out. Not here. Not now.

"No!" she moaned, more sobs choking her. Spurlock's evil grin was branded in her mind. No matter how much she tried to shake the image away, she couldn't. Darkness closed in around her. Elizabeth felt faint. For a brief, panicked moment, she wondered if she was going to pass out.

Footsteps broke through her thoughts. She did panic then, realizing that she was all alone in the cemetery with no help to come in the event of another attack. She stood too fast as she tried to back away from the unknown threat. Dizziness enveloped her and she swayed dangerously on her feet.

Strong arms steadied her as a concerned voice broke through the haze. "Elizabeth! What's wrong?"

Nathan.

She collapsed into his arms, sobbing in relief against the black jacket that mostly hid his red serge. His presence banished thoughts of Spurlock from her mind. All her senses were filled with Nathan, with his strong, steady presence and the scent of pine and cedar that she was coming to recognize as uniquely him. He held her close as she cried, one hand firmly pressed against her back as his other hand gently brushed through her hair. His touch was comforting. Elizabeth slowly relaxed against him. She wasn't sure why, but whenever Nathan touched her, she felt safe.

Her sobs quieted long before she was ready to let him go. She rested against his chest, closing her eyes and breathing deeply, letting him soothe away her pain and fear simply by being there. Finally, with a long, shuddering breath, she pushed back slightly, looking up at him. He must have seen the question in her eyes, because the hand behind her back came up to reveal her jacket.

"Bill was worried that you left the house without adequate warmth," he said softly. He slid the shawl from her shoulders, draping it over his own shoulder as he helped her into her jacket. He buttoned it for her, then took the shawl and rearranged it over her coat, giving her an extra layer of warmth. Her eyes never left his face as he completed the task. The tenderness in his eyes took her breath away.

"Thank you," she whispered as his hands dropped to his sides. "I didn't realize how cold it was."

He smiled slightly. "Winter is just about here. Look." He motioned to the sky. Elizabeth looked up. Her mouth dropped as she realized it was snowing.

The first snow of the season.

They stood quietly for a few moments. A slight awkwardness descended as the silence stretched. Elizabeth saw Nathan's eyes dart to Jack's grave and then to her face. It was as if the reminder of her late husband suddenly came between them. Nathan cleared his throat. "I'll go now." He turned to leave. Before she realized what she was doing, Elizabeth reached out, grasping his hand in hers to stop him. Nathan turned back, a question in his eyes.

Elizabeth swallowed hard, forcing herself to meet Nathan's gaze without flinching. "Please. Stay," she said, her voice barely audible even in the stillness around them.

Nathan paused, then nodded slowly. His fingers curled around hers. Together, they turned to face Jack's headstone. Elizabeth leaned her head against Nathan's shoulder, her grief rising again, tinged with anger.

"Why did he leave me, Nathan?" she whispered, the question burning her heart. "We were only married for a couple of days when he accepted that Fort Clay assignment. Why did he take it?"

Nathan let go of her hand to wrap his arm around her shoulders, drawing her closer. "I don't know," he said softly. "I wish I had answers for you, Elizabeth. I really do." He was quiet for a moment before speaking again. "I wish...I wish I hadn't disobeyed orders at Fort Clay. Then Jack would still be here with you."

She heard the pain in his voice. Shaking her head, she turned to face him. "It's not your fault," she said fiercely. "None of it was your fault. You did what was right. Jack chose to take that assignment. He could have turned it down, but he didn't." A tear slipped from her eyes. "I just don't understand why he did that." She sniffed. "Was I not enough? Would he always have put me second to the Mounties?" Her insecurities were laid bare in the questions she spoke to the silence.

Nathan cupped her cheeks, waiting until she met his gaze. "Jack loved you, Elizabeth," he said, his words fervent. "You know that. I don't know why he made the decision he did, but I do know that you were his world. From what I've heard, he had a strong sense of duty to his country. Maybe he was conflicted inside. Maybe he felt he didn't have a choice. But whatever went on inside his mind, you can be sure he loved you with all his heart." His hands tightened minutely on her cheeks as his eyes swept her face. "How could he not?" Those last words pierced Elizabeth's heart. She knew without a doubt that he wasn't just talking about Jack.

Nathan wasn't done. "You were loved and you are loved, Elizabeth," he said, his voice raspy. His thumbs wiped the tears that were spilling down her cheeks. His eyes closed as he pressed a light kiss to her forehead. "And you always will be."

Her tears fell over his hands, pouring down too fast for him to wipe them away. "Why?" she whispered, focused solely on the man in front of her. "I've acted in such an unlovable manner. I pushed you away time and again, Nathan. I hurt you. Why didn't you just give up on me?" She sniffed, looking down. "I don't deserve your love."

Nathan's right hand moved to her chin, gently tilting it up so he could see her face. "True love doesn't fade in the midst of a storm," he said quietly. "We've had a rocky path to where we are now, Elizabeth. But I fell in love with you because of your goodness, your kindness, your love for Allie and for your son. I fell in love with your strength, courage, and grace." He smiled softly. "You were the first one to welcome me to Hope Valley, even when no one else would. I think I started falling for you that day, but I knew I was falling when you showed Allie kindness that no other teacher ever did. I fought my feelings for a long time because of my connection to Jack." He looked at the grave briefly. "I thought falling in love with you would somehow dishonor Jack and his memory. But I couldn't help it. You are the most wonderful woman I've ever met. You care deeply and truly." His hands slid behind her head, threading into her hair. "Now you're my wife, and I promise you I will spend the rest of my life loving you each and every day. No matter what."

Overwhelmed at his declaration, Elizabeth buried her face in his chest, her entire body shaking. Bill's words rushed back to her, words about marriage and commitment and choosing love.

Love isn't just a feeling or an emotion, it's a choice...Choose love, then you feel it.

Nathan had chosen to love her, even when she was unlovable. He was committed to her, to her son, to Allie, not because he had to be, but because he chose to be. Nathan Grant had spent his life for others, asking nothing in return. An overpowering sense of gratitude and longing filled Elizabeth. Gratitude for his love and protection, and longing to show him how much he meant to her. Maybe she wasn't in love with him and maybe she would never be able to give him the fullest expression of married love. But at the very least, she could take Bill's advice and choose to love him day by day in the little things. He deserved that much from her.

She wasn't sure what that would look like. But she knew that she had to try. She wanted to try.

She slid her arms around his back, nestling closer. Though the circumstances that had brought them together were awful, she was so thankful for his calm, loving presence in her life. He had been her rock ever since that terrible night when everything changed. He managed to temper the storm that raged within her. With him, she knew she was safe. She knew she was loved. And she knew her baby would know the love of a father, even if its own father was locked behind bars for heinous crimes. She knew her son would know the love of a father, even though his father watched from heaven.

Letting out a sigh, Elizabeth drew back. She reached up, cupping Nathan's slightly stubble-roughened cheek in her hand. "I couldn't have asked for a better protector," she whispered. "Thank you."

Eyes glistening, Nathan smiled. He let his eyes speak for him, completely open to her. Elizabeth saw how deeply his love ran, and it made her heart skip a beat as butterflies danced in her stomach. His eyes fell to her lips for the barest of seconds. Elizabeth's eyes widened, awareness filling her. Color filled his cheeks and he took a step back, looking at the ground.

"You're welcome," he said finally, nudging a rock with his boot. The snow swirled around them, the ground now coated with a thin layer of white. Nathan met her eyes again. "Would you like some time alone with Jack?"

Heart racing, Elizabeth managed a nod. Nathan nodded back, giving her a little smile, then made his way to the horses. Elizabeth let out a breath, the undeniable attraction between them startling her. If he had tried to kiss her, would she have let him?

She swallowed hard and turned her attention to Jack's grave. Staring at his name etched in stone, she took a step closer. She ran a hand over each letter, feeling sadness fill her once again. But this time, the bitter edge was gone. Her talk with Nathan had somehow diminished her grief over Jack. Hearing him affirm Jack's love for her had been a balm to her soul.

"I forgive you, Jack," she said softly, tracing the K on the stone. "I'm sorry for doubting your love. I know how much being a Mountie meant to you." She was quiet for several moments, her hand lingering on the letters. "I'm still hurt, I'm still sad, and I'm still confused. I wish you were here with me. I wish our son could know you." She sighed. She glanced at Nathan, and a feeling of peace rippled through her as she saw him standing tall and watchful beside Newton. A smile tugged at her lips when she looked again at the headstone. "You would have liked Nathan, Jack. He's protective and kind and loving. He's all the things you would have wanted for me and for our son." She sighed again, this time a little sadly. "I just wish things were different. I wish I had given him a chance for himself, not because I ended up pregnant and needed someone to marry me." She looked down at her journal, forgotten on the ground during her emotional outbursts. Bending to pick it up, she pressed it against her heart. She knew she still needed to sort through her feelings. They roiled through her like a tempest, ebbing and building without rhyme or reason. But she did know she had to let herself move on.

Kneeling beside the stone, Elizabeth kissed the cold marble, tenderly running her hands across Jack's name once more. "I'll always love you," she said softly. "I'll always miss you. You were my first love. You showed me what it meant to love someone deeply. Thank you for that. I'll always be grateful for the time we had together, short though it was." She moistened her lips, forcing the next words from her mouth. "I know you're in a better place, my love. I know you're watching out for me and for our son. And I know you wanted me to find happiness again." She swallowed. "I don't know if I'll ever be as happy as I once was, but I do know that I've found a good man to care for me and for the family we're creating. And to be fair to him, to give him a fighting chance, I need to let you go." Her throat tightened painfully while slow tears rolled down her cheeks. "Goodbye, Jack."

She knelt by his grave for another few moments, the finality of her goodbye making the tears flow faster. It didn't mean she would forget her first husband. It didn't mean she would stop loving him. It didn't mean she wouldn't visit his grave, wouldn't bring their son here and teach him all about his father.

But it did mean she was letting go of the past in order to walk into the future.

Wiping the tears from her cheeks, Elizabeth stood. She bowed her head, praying a silent prayer for strength and courage in the days ahead. Then, with a final look at Jack's headstone, she turned and made her way to the horses. To Nathan.

To her future.