Pacifica was sitting in front of the coffee table eating what appeared to be a burger alongside Viney, Skara and Mattholomue were playing a board game. That game was Mocknopoly. A game where you had to bankrupt everyone of their snails. Even though, it would take hours, days or even weeks to bankrupt someone for, this game.
Pacifica picked up her tape recorder and began recording. "Pacifica Northwest, yup, it's me again and I'm doing okay. I'm still alive after three months of almost starving to death. I got my intended weight back and I can barley see my ribcage. It was all thanks to the Hexside students whom decided to help me even after I snuck around their school, insulted their leader, stole her shower which concluded with a chase around the school that ended with me turning invisible and taking off all my clothes." She stopped recording. "By the way, what did Boscha do with my clothes?"
"Who knows?" Matt responded. "She probably ate them."
Meanwhile, Boscha, in Pacifica's clothes, was admiring herself in the mirror. "Yes! Yes! Oh, Titan I love these clothes. I should have stolen Luz's clothes when I had the chance! Humans make incredible clothes." Miki walked in on her boss, causing the three eyed witch a spot of anger. "Hey! Miki! Get out!"
Back at the house, Pacifica went back to recording. "Anyway, they've been visiting me with a small batch of food to keep me thriving. We usually like to hang out and play board games like Mocknopoly for example."
"Pacifica, you're up." Skara said.
Pacifica rolled the the two six sided die leading her to get two sixes which made 12. She moved her piece to a red patch. Then, some writing appeared on the patch that read 'Next player gives 25 of their snails.'
"What?!" Viney exclaimed in shock as she handed 25 of her snails to Pacifica.
"How are you this good?!" Skara asked with a hint of envy in her voice.
"You've never even played this." Mattholomue pointed out.
Pacifica shrugged her shoulders. "I'm just lucky." She went back to recording. "We have been doing this for three months and I don't know how long I can keep this up before Boscha finds out. On the other hand, today is August 31st. Dipper and Mabel's birthday." Her face then turned sad. "Dipper and Mabel's 21st birthday." She stared at the board with a sad look plastered on her face. "I…Can't believe I'm missing his birthday. I had so much planned for his 21st." She exhaled sadly before coughing. "But enough of that, I will sign off for now and return to you soon." She stopped recording where she noticed how worried the kids looked. "What's wrong kids?"
Skara just hung her head down, Viney rubbed the back of her head while Mattholomue was giving her a deadpan stare.
"We can't keep doing this." Mattholomue said.
Pacifica gave a smug smirk. "Sorry I keep being good."
"No, us coming here." Viney said.
"Boscha, Miki and Roka are getting suspicious." Skara explained. "They keep asking where we keep going with the food and we're running out of excuses."
Pacifica was horrified and shock. "So what am I supposed to do?! Just stay here and starve?!"
"Well…Either that or get captured by Boscha." Mattholomue replied. "But….Since you don't want to be around Boscha, I think your best bet will be to starve."
Pacifica collapsed on her rear in distress. "Oh, God! Oh crap! There's no way I'll live! If I stay here I'll starve, if we continue this we'll be in the detention pit and if I go out there, I'll be turned into a puppet! I don't want that!" She began to hyperventilate and Viney instantly rushed towards her.
"Hey! Hey! Take it easy!" Viney said. "Don't breathe too fast!"
"Well, Dad was right." Pacifica said. "I was born in a mansion and I'll die in a mansion. You might as well just kill me." She handed Viney her laser gun.
"I was going to regret it." Mattholomue said before pulling out a knife that he used to sharpen a machete. "Do you want a nice clean decapitation or do you want it to be slow and painful?"
"Nobody is killing anyone!" Viney demanded. "There has to be another way to handle this! Let's ask a few questions. Where should Pacifica go?"
"I heard a few Coven scouts were hiding on the Knee." Skara said.
"An enemy of their's asking to join them." Pacifica began to pinch her sides. "I think I have enough fat in me for them to devour me. Do any of you eat humans?"
"Not since primitive times." Mattholomue replied.
"Okay, not the Knee." Viney said. "How about you, Matt?"
"Maybe she can live with Tinella." Mattholomue suggested. "I heard she's surviving."
"She's small and she's big!" Viney exclaimed.
"We have shrinking potions." Mattholomue argued.
"Yeah, I'm not living in a mouse hole." Pacifica protested.
"How about we shrink you and you can live at Hexside?" Skara suggested.
"And risk getting caught by Boscha's crab?!" Pacifica exclaimed.
"Palisman." Mattholomue said.
"Whatever." Pacifica said.
"Or, you can stay at Hexside but by sneaking around invisible." Mattholomue suggested.
The woman crossed her arms. "I'm not running around in a building naked again."
Mattholomue shrugged his shoulders. "Well then you're screwed. Or we're screwed."
"Well, there's always being the Collector's puppet." Pacifica sighed. "Least I won't starve and at least in some capacity, I'll be able to see King again." She began to sulk over her current situation. She was now going to starve to death and be unable to be there for her boyfriend on his special day.
Skara walked towards Pacifica. "Hey, maybe we can spend the last day having a party for your boyfriend. Y'know. Do something fun before the inevitable depressing fate that awaits. Which includes starvation. Although, my cousin was once abandoned on an island and they survived by eating everything they had on."
Pacifica then had a thought. "Wait, that's it!"
"Okay then, do you wanna start with your pants or your shirt?" Skara asked. "I'd start with the socks first."
"No!" Pacifica said. "King!"
"What about him?" Viney asked.
"He's been with the Collector for six months." Pacifica pointed out. "How is he alive? He should be skinny as a bone. But from what I've seen, he looks like he's being fed well. I don't know about Eda but…Maybe she's okay. I don't know."
"So, what's your plan?" Viney asked.
"In order to survive, I'm gonna have to give up my freedom to play with him."
The students gasp. "What?!" Skara exclaimed.
"You're insane!" Mattholomue exclaimed.
"But what if they turn you into a puppet?!" Viney asked. "You saw what they did with Raine Whispers."
"I know." Pacifica said as she stood up. "But, maybe I can negotiate with him. They're a kid after all. Just an immortal kid."
"So, you're risking your survival on some immortal god who could turn you into a puppet with a snap from their finger?" Viney asked.
"I was once turned into tapestry kid." Pacifica said. "I'll get out eventually."
The students all gave each other some worried and concerned looks before they approached Pacifica. "We'd come, but we don't wish to take the risks." Skara said.
"I understand, kids." Pacifica gave them a smile. "But trust me, I'm going to be okay."
"Very well." Mattholomue said.
"Farewell." Viney said sadly.
Then, a tearful Skara attacked Pacifica in a massive hug. "Please be okay! If you are not okay then I swear to Titan I will throw Boscha into the detention pit!"
Pacifica returned the hug to Skara and chuckled. "Okay, I will." Then, Viney and Mattholomue joined in on the hug. Pacifica's confident smile vanished when she looked off into the distance with an unsure expression. She wasn't so sure if she'd make it out of this one but she was going to try regardless of what the outcome might be.
A few hours later, she arrived into the town of Bonesborough to find the Collector and King. Thankfully, she arrived when it was their playtime and remained hidden behind a crate until she was sure it was over.
King and The Collector walked up toward the floating star. "Wow! That shrinking adventure was a whole lot of fun!" They exclaimed.
King shrugged his shoulders. "Not a favourite of mine. Probably one of my weaker ones."
"Hey, you know for our next adventure, do you wanna trade bodies?!" The Collector asked as they got on the star.
"Sure, then I'd attack you with belly rubs." King said.
"Not while I have my body!" They began to tickle King's belly, causing him to laugh.
"No! Collector!" King cried. "Stop that tickles!"
But then, their playtime was interrupted. "COLLECTOR!" He stopped tickling their best friend and looked forward to see a silhouette approaching.
King swore that it looked familiar to him. Like a a human he swore had been dead for six months. "No, it can't be."
Pacifica walked past the puppets that were eyeing her. She was creeped out by it but kept on a brave face. "Collector."
Instead of being intimidated by her presence, the Collector smiled. "Yes?"
"I wish to negotiate." Pacifica said.
"Negotiate?" The Collector responded. "Go on."
"Look, I have been living in the Demon Realm for six months…" She pulled out her blaster and placed it gently on the ground. "….And, I have been living off of scraps…" She then placed her sword on the ground. "…Which isn't healthy but…." She took off her shoe to shake a grenade, a knife and another gun out. "…I did what I had to do." She then took off her other shoe to shake out another gun. "So, I will gladly do what ever you please…" She lifted her shirt to remove the gun that was taped to her stomach. "Ow! Just as long as I get some food and water." She arrived close to them, whom appeared intrigued. "By the way, could you remove the gun off my back?" She turned around to reveal the gun taped to her back.
"Okay!" The Collector snapped their fingers, causing the gun to shatter.
"Or…Do that." Pacifica said before pulling her shirt down.
"But, what role should I give you?" The Collector began to ponder. "I could give you the role of Hooty but…" He shuddered. "…That thing scares me."
"Couldn't agree with you kid." Pacifica said.
"Maybe you can be Lilith." The Collector snapped their fingers and in a puff of smoke, Pacifica's clothes turned into Lilith's Coven gear. "Your goal is to chase me, King and Eda played by Terra Snapdragon so you can make us join the Emperor's Coven."
Pacifica admired the clothes she was wearing. "Okay, I might get into this."
But King looked worried for Pacifica. He didn't want anyone else to suffer in the Collector's game. He was okay with Terra well, because she was the worst anyway.
"Wait Collector, maybe there's better use for her." King said.
"What is it best friend?" They asked.
"Look, Pacifica isn't cut out to play our game." King explained. "She's not exactly the type of person who'd play."
"Hey!" Pacifica exclaimed.
"I think she could be better at dealing with Eda." King said. "Lilith and Yunan need help after all."
Pacifica gave a small gasp. She was grateful that Lilith and Yunan were alive but…Was this the best option? Dealing with the Owl Beast.
"You want her to deal with her?" The Collector began floating around Pacifica like he was inspecting her. "I mean, what can this human do?" He tapped her chest. "She has one heart, she doesn't have magic powers and she looks like she could eat a bit more." They poked her stomach causing her some discomfort.
"I'm usually this skinny!" She protested.
"Really?" The Collector asked. "But what good could she offer?"
"Look kid, I survived an apocalypse, a haunting in my own home, being turned into a werewolf, having a demon goblin growing inside me, almost being turned into a locker, surviving the Amazon, running a marathon, fighting robots and…."
"Okay King!" They interjected. "I see your point." He snapped his fingers, causing Pacifica's dress to turn back to her regular clothes.
She groaned sadly. "Did you need to get rid of the dress? It looked so nice on me."
"Hop on my star, Pacifica!" The Collector said before widening the star so it would fit her.
She got on the star but had a bit of trouble balancing before they took off toward the castle.
When she saw the newly decorated skull, she felt a sense of dread and grief. Besides it being how she was cut from the Human Realm and unable to see her boyfriend ever again, it was where her little surrogate brother, Hunter, had died. She loved that kid like he was family and him being gone just hurt her because she knew he could have lived a happy life. Least Belos was gone as well.
They arrived to the main hall where Odalia was awaiting. "Welcome home Collector and…" She froze when she saw Pacifica. "…Oh, it's you."
Pacifica gave her a scowl. "Not glad to know you're alive."
"Likewise." Odalia retorted.
"Look where you are now, servant to a child god." Pacifica said.
"Really?" Odalia yawned. "I don't have time for this. I have to make The Collector's favourite dish. Pizza bagels." She began to walk towards the kitchen to do her duties.
"Yummy!" The Collector cheered happily.
"Oh and Odalia, in case you don't know, your daughter is dead." Pacifica's words made Odalia stop in her tracks. "She died when the skull was being redecorated."
In an instant, Odalia just exhaled. "How unfortunate. She could have lived her life in luxury and as a ruler." She walked away, leaving Pacifica gobsmacked.
"Why that, Conniving, Ugly, Nefarious, Tramp!" Pacifica exclaimed.
"Are either of those swears?" The Collector asked.
"Oh believe me kid, I would have done worse." Pacifica replied. "Now King, take me to Eda."
"Okay." King said before he began to lead Pacifica to where Eda was.
"I'll save you bagels!" The Collector assured him. "By the way, could you tell me what death is when we get back?!"
"Pizza bagels!" Odalia exclaimed.
"Hooray!" The Collector cheered. "Wait, what did I want to ask King? Eh, I don't care."
Meanwhile, King led Pacifica down the corridor filled with tapestries and paintings dedicated to The Collector, the Titans and some other Collectors.
The human woman stared at them for a bit until she was snapped out of it, by King. "I'm sorry, how in the name of Titan are you alive? Marcy said you were dead."
"It was a botched surprise attack." Pacifica replied. "I stop my heart for a brief moment so I can stab Belos in the heart. But…I guess I should have timed it shorter because next thing I know, I'm laying on the Titan's nostril. Look, it's a long story, I'll tell you when we get to see Eda."
They arrived at Eda's enclosure where she was greeted by the sight of the former Coven Heads in their puppet state. She stared at Raine with a horrified expression before being being nudged by her finger.
"They're just on guard." King sighed.
"Do they know that they're puppets?" Pacifica asked.
"Lilith claimed she saw darkness and heard distorted voices." King replied. "So…They've been like this for months. It's very scary when you think about it."
"Hey if Terra or Odalia get turned to puppets, wanna draw on their faces?" Pacifica asked.
"Oh absolutely!" King exclaimed.
Inside the enclosure, Eda was drinking her elixir while she and Lilith were reading Yunan's story. "I'm sorry, so Matt's little sister no longer has a crush on Halle after like, seven adventures and gains a girlfriend?"
"Yes!" Yunan exclaimed.
"That could have lead to a fun running gag throughout the books." Lilith said. "Like, what was the point?!"
"If you don't like it, we could try my other stories where Luz is a quirky journalist who falls for a superhero who happens to be one of her employees. Specifically, the hunky one." Yunan said. "Look, I even drew a detailed drawing." She showed the sisters a very good drawing of her version of Luz. Only it was a good drawing yet, she wasn't.
Eda was amazed. "Okay, that's almost a spitting image."
"But her skin is more beige than tan." Lilith remarked. "I just don't see Luz."
"Well what name would you give her?"
"Lo-"
"Lo and behold, your son has returned!" King exclaimed happily. "Wow, that's a good drawing of Luz, Yunan."
"Okay King, what's the news?" Eda asked.
"Well, during our playtime I saw Boscha's Moms, one of Willow's Dads and I even found Morton." King explained.
"Uh huh." Lilith said.
"I don't know who these people are." Yunan said.
"Oh and me and The Collector picked up a passenger and well…"
Pacifica popped out of the corner. "Missed me, bitches?!"
Eda, Lilith and Yunan gasped in surprise. That had to be some sort of illusion not the very thing. "Pacifica?" Eda reacted.
"You're alive?!" Lilith exclaimed. "How?! Amazing! But how?!"
"I faked my death." Pacifica replied.
Yunan summoned her claws. "Wait, this could be a shape changer. Tell me something only Pacifica and I know."
"You two knew each other for three weeks." Eda pointed out. "But she does raise a good point. How do we know this is the real Pacifica and not some imposter?"
"Yunan, I hate to say it but, the book and ketchup trick worked as well."
In that moment, Yunan retracted her claws and cheered. "Aaahhhh! It is you!" She leaped towards Pacifica and gave her a hug that she returned.
"Hey Yunan." She said before a tearful Eda and Lilith gave her a hug.
King joined in as well as Pacifica happily embraced her teammates after not seeing them for months. She stopped when she realised something.
"Wait, you're not in your Owl Beast form?!" Pacifica exclaimed.
"That's what we want The Collector to think." Eda explained.
"They can't beat the Owl Beast so we're being enclosed in here while we come up with a plan to stop them." Lilith explained.
"But how are you alive?" Eda asked as she and the others got off her. "King said you were dead."
"Yeah, we even made a grave for you." Yunan pointed to the grave of the Northwest.
"I'm flattered." Pacifica said with a cringe. "Okay, long story short. I stopped my heart, Belos stabbed the book and ketchup, tossed on the nostril, woke up to find the Isles being turned to crap, got saved by Alador, I began living at his house, he went out, never came back, got lonely on Valentine's Day so I had a brief relationship with a mannequin that didn't last long, began to starve, talked to my stomach, snuck around Hexside to find food where I find out Boscha is in charge, hogged her shower time, went on trial, escaped by turning invisible, made friends with some of the kids that resisted Boscha's reign of terror, we spent a few months playing board games and now I'm here. Because they were about to be caught by Boscha and I had nowhere else to go."
"Wow, that's a lot of information." Lilith remarked.
"How about you?" Pacifica asked.
"Oh, we've been doing nothing." Eda replied. "Just trapped in here while Yunan picks a healthy lifestyle."
"I'm working on my current project." Yunan showed her picture of Luz. "Like my drawing of Luz."
"It's almost a spitting image." Pacifica remarked. "But Luz is Dominican, not Korean."
Yunan groaned. "Oh! Actually, I like her as Kor-Re-Anne."
Then, Pacifica remembered Luz and gave Eda a saddened look. "Eda, I wasn't the only one on the Titan Skull. I'm sorry, but Luz was there as well. So was Hunter, Amity, Sasha, Marcy, Gus, Willow and Grime."
Eda looked confused for a second before turning to her son. "You didn't tell her?!"
"Tell me what?"
King face palmed himself. "Oh right! What am I doing?! I forgot! They're alive!"
Pacifica's eyes widened. "Wait, who's alive?!"
"All the people you've listed." King replied. "They're all alive in the Human Realm. Safe and sound. I hope."
Tears began to fall from her eyes at this happy news. "Hunter's…Alive. I thought he was dead after all this time."
"I'd question why you began to care about him." Eda said. "But…I'm glad you're happy."
"But the portal door was destroyed as well." King admitted sadly. "I'm sorry Pacifica. Your way home has been…"
Pacifica snatched up the Titan and began to hug him. "That doesn't matter now. Thank you, for getting my brother to safety. I just hope Dipper's taking good care of him." Then, the happy tears turned to tears of sadness. "Dipper. Oh, Dipper!"
"Hey, what's wrong?" King asked with concern.
Yunan held on to Pacifica's shoulder. "She's missing her love. Tell me about it sister." Yunan wiped a stray tear from her eye.
"Not just that." Pacifica admitted. "Yeah, I miss him but…Today is his birthday." She admitted sadly. "His 21st birthday. I had so much planned for him. I was going to have a drinking game with him to celebrate the fact that he can now legally drink."
"You mean, he couldn't before?" King asked. "He was probably dehydrated for years."
"No, she means alcohol." Eda pointed out.
"I haven't see him for six months!" Pacifica exclaimed. "The kids think I'm dead so that means he thinks I'm dead. What has he done? Has he moved on?" She sighed sadly and wiped a few tears. "I just wish there was a way back."
Eda turned to the human and began stroking her hair. "Hey, we're going to get out and get you home. I hope. We have plenty of Titans blood right here." She patted King.
"Just don't use too much of it." King said. "I still need to live."
"We're still trying to find a way to stop The Collector." Lilith explained. "But, I think we're close to stopping that little brat."
"I should hope so." Pacifica stood up. "Because I'm looking to take him down."
"No offence, but you don't have weapons." King said.
"That's where you're wrong." Pacifica said. "Look away." King did as the human was told and turned around.
The human began to unbuckle her belt leading Eda and Lilith to be shocked while Yunan just shrugged her shoulders. "Well, I knew it would come to this." She began to unbuckle her own belt but Lilith stopped her before she went further.
The human pulled down her pants to remove a spare blaster that was taped to her thigh. "Ow!" She pulled her pants back up and spun her gun like she were in a Western.
"Ah, the old hiding secret weapon in thigh trick after looking like you unloaded all your weapons." Eda remarked. "You know my ex husband taught me that."
"Of course Stan did." Pacifica sighed.
"Now, let's start planning." Eda said. "We have all the time in the world."
"Okay, okay…I gave the super hunk a wacky best friend!" Yunan showed everyone her drawing of the Super Hunk's wacky best friend who looked familiar.
"That looks like Goobs." Eda said.
"You mean, Gus?" Pacifica asked.
"Uh! Why do you think my art looks like people you know?!" Yunan exclaimed angrily.