Saturday dawned snowy and cold. Elizabeth felt flutters of anticipation as morning turned into afternoon. Her date night with Nathan was fast approaching, and she couldn't wait. She'd been looking forward to it since Rosemary offered to give them a night to themselves.

Despite the cold, Nathan took the children on a fishing expedition. They returned with two large fish, one caught by Allie and the other by Jack with Nathan's help.

"These are for your date tonight," Allie said, a twinkle in her eyes.

Elizabeth grinned, hugging her daughter close. "I know just what to make with it," she said. "Thank you, Allie." Her excitement built until the moment Lee showed up for the children. Quiet descended on the small house, leaving her alone with Nathan.

He pulled her into his arms, smiling down at her with the crooked smile she loved so much. "This is a nice change of pace," he said, the smile growing. "Just you and me for a whole night." The baby in her womb kicked, and Nathan laughed. "More like you, me, and baby makes three."

Elizabeth chuckled. "Our daughter doesn't want to be forgotten." She reached down to take his hand, tugging him toward the kitchen. "Come on. I thought it would be nice to make salmon chowder with the fish the children caught."

"Sounds delicious," Nathan said. "I have no clue how to make it, but I'll follow your directions." He tied a flowery apron around his waist, then placed his hands on his hips. "How may I be of service, madam?"

Elizabeth giggled at the sight of her strapping husband in an apron. "You can chop some vegetables," she said, showing him the potatoes, celery, onion, and carrots. They settled into a comfortable working silence. Once the chowder was simmering on the stove, Nathan took off the apron and pulled out a book of poetry. They took turns reading each other poems until their dinner was ready.

As they ate, Elizabeth considered telling Nathan about her strange response to his kiss when her father came to town. She had avoided the subject, not wanting to hurt his feelings. The further they got from that little incident, the less inclined she was to mention it. She decided against bringing up an unpleasant subject. Tonight was all about spending time with her husband. She intended to enjoy it fully.

After dinner, they washed and dried the dishes, then made tea and sat down to some lively rounds of backgammon. They shared an easy conversation with lots of laughter. The evening was laid-back and relaxed. Elizabeth felt no sense of pressure, and the lack of pressure served to make her want to draw closer to Nathan.

He beat her soundly at all four games. He chuckled as they put the board away. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think your mind was a million miles away," he teased, grinning at her.

Elizabeth laughed. "I was perfectly present. I just thought I'd let you win tonight."

"Ha!" Nathan shook his head with an even bigger grin. "I think a rematch is in order on our next date night."

Elizabeth smiled at the thought of another night like this one. "You're on." She wondered if they could make this a regular occurrence. Maybe the children wouldn't be able to spend the night at a friend's house every time, but perhaps she and Nathan could sneak a few hours alone together a couple times a month.

Nathan rose and found some music to play. The soft strains of a love song began to float through the room. He came to her with a tender look, holding out his hand. "May I have this dance, Mrs. Grant?"

Her eyes sparkled. "Of course, kind sir," she said playfully, placing her hand in his proffered one. They moved to the music, holding each other close.

As they danced, Nathan's hands rubbed slow circles on her back. His head rested against hers. Elizabeth had never felt closer to him than she did in that moment. Neither she nor Nathan noticed when their feet eventually came to a stop. She looked up into his eyes, seeing his love and devotion reflected clearly in the blue depths. Rosemary's words from two nights ago drifted back to her. Maybe you'll discover you're more ready than you realize.

Elizabeth felt a fire burning inside, drawing her heart to his. With a sudden clarity, she knew she was ready to take the next step in their relationship.

"Maybe we should take this upstairs," she whispered, trailing a finger down his chest, an invitation in her tone.

Nathan's eyes searched hers, hope lighting in his. Elizabeth lifted her chin, silently asking him to kiss her and begin their journey to the consummation of their marriage.

He did. His lips skimmed hers gently, lightly tasting what she was offering. She could feel his desire, simmering under the surface and ready to be lit into a blazing fire. He pulled back slightly, already out of breath. "Are you sure?" he whispered.

His consideration only added fuel to the flames. Elizabeth pulled his head down, kissing him with all the love in her heart. He responded, his passion consuming her like a flood. With nothing held back, they expressed their love freely and fully.

When they eventually broke apart for air, both were breathing heavily. They stared at each other, knowing they were close to the point of no return.

Elizabeth was ready to take that plunge.

She took her husband's hand, leading him up the stairs to their room. She barely shut the door before Nathan engulfed her in his arms, kissing her just as passionately as he had moments before. His lips roamed over hers, hungry and urgent. She closed her eyes, letting him sweep her away in a tidal wave of desire.

His hands fumbled with the buttons on the back of her dress, his lips never leaving hers. He only pulled back when he finished the last button, deliberately sliding the dress from her shoulders to the floor. He smiled as he took her in, reaching a hand to her cheek. "I seem to remember seeing you dressed like this once before," he said with a wink, his hands brushing the thin fabric of her chemise. "You're even more beautiful now."

Elizabeth laughed, remembering being caught in her underclothes before their first date. This time, she felt no sense of shyness. She reached up, pulling Nathan's suspenders off his shoulders and letting them fall at his sides. As she began on his shirt buttons, his lips sought hers again. His kisses were deep, making her forget everything but him. When she finally managed to finish unbuttoning his shirt, she slid her hands inside, reveling in the feel of his warm skin. She pressed close to him, the desire coursing through her strong and powerful.

Nathan's kisses grew more heated. He slowly backed her toward their bed. Elizabeth followed willingly. Before they reached it, Nathan let out a groan. His lips broke from hers and began exploring her face and jaw. Elizabeth tipped her head back, the feelings he evoked exquisite.

Nathan took her exposed neck as an invitation. His kisses went lower, pressing against her throat. All at once, an unwelcome uneasiness began to flicker within her. Elizabeth's eyes flew open. Nathan continued to shower her neck with kisses, but instead of pleasure, she felt a growing sense of dread. She tried desperately to stomp it down.

No! Please, no!

She wanted this night with her husband. She wanted to give herself to him. She wanted to experience the full expression of their love. But the old fear rose inside until she couldn't ignore it.

At that moment, two things happened at once. Nathan's hands gripped her hips, pulling her body closer to his, and his lips found the one spot on her neck that sent her into a full-blown panic.

The scar where she had been held at knifepoint during her assault.

She let out a strangled cry, images from that horrible night flashing through her mind. She could feel the tip of the knife digging into her flesh once more. She could feel Spurlock's painful hold on her hip as he assaulted her. It didn't matter that Nathan's loving hands were the ones holding her; all she could feel was the pain and fear from that night six months before. She pushed away from him, seeing only Spurlock's leering face in her mind. With another cry, she covered her face with her hands, her entire body shaking in fear.

She felt Nathan's gentle hand on her arm, his ragged breathing loud in the quiet room. "Elizabeth?"

She flinched away from his hold involuntarily. "D...don't touch me!" The words came out before she could stop them. She knew in her heart she wasn't speaking to him; she was speaking to a ghost of the past who had come between them as surely as any physical barrier could have. Tears flowed from her eyes as she looked up at him, seeing the shock and pain on his face. Without a word, Nathan turned and walked from the room. She heard the front door open and then close harder than necessary.

Elizabeth slumped to the floor, leaning against the bed for support. Pain of another kind washed over her. Burying her face in her knees, she sobbed.

Nathan barely thought to grab his coat before leaving the house. The freezing air and biting snow barely cooled his heated blood. His body ached, reacting strongly to the passion he had shared with Elizabeth. Passion that would now remain unrequited.

He was furious, but not with Elizabeth. His anger was directed at Julius Spurlock for harming Elizabeth so badly she was triggered by their intimacy. He was angry that she had been emotionally scarred and that she felt so scared. He was angry that she had been hurt and that she still didn't feel safe.

Nathan raked his hands through his hair. If he was honest, he wasn't just angry with Spurlock. He was angry with himself. He'd told Elizabeth they could take things slow. This had been anything but slow. He'd let his desire get the better of him, and his wife had paid the price. He couldn't get the image of her stricken face from his mind, nor unhear her telling him not to touch her.

He wasn't sure how long he walked, but when he stopped, he realized he was on the property that belonged to him and Elizabeth. Their home stood in the moonlight, halfway finished. He eyed the nearby stream, seriously considering jumping in to shock him out of the effects of his actions with his wife. Letting out a harsh laugh, he knew that would be a foolhardy move. Elizabeth would never forgive him if he caught his death of a cold for doing something so stupid on a freezing night.

Taking a deep breath, Nathan walked the perimeter of their home, trying to calm his body and take his mind off the events of the evening. He mentally calculated how much longer it would take to finish the house. Joseph had been right; they should be able to move in sometime in April. One more month before they had a home of their own.

He sighed, sinking to cold porch steps. He rested his face in his hands, unable to stop memories from pricking at him. What had gone wrong? Elizabeth had been open and receptive to him all night. He frowned, trying to remember what the trigger had been.

It clicked like a lightbulb. She had stiffened when he kissed her neck. Her panic had come when he rested his hands on her hips.

What had she suffered that led to such a strong reaction to his touch in those two places?

Another memory tugged at his mind. Elizabeth had reacted the first time he kissed her neck over a week ago. She had brushed it off as though nothing happened, but now he wondered if there was more to that moment.

Nathan got to his feet once more, remorse sweeping over him. She'd been crying when he stalked from the bedroom. He shouldn't have left her in such a state. As he walked home, his mind worked furiously, trying to come up with a plan to help his wife overcome her fears. By the time he reached their rowhouse, he had his answer.

He opened the door, placing his jacket on the coat rack. Without another thought, he climbed the stairs and entered the bedroom.

"Elizabeth?"

She was laying on the bed, dressed in her nightgown. She sat up as he came closer, tear stains on her face. "Nathan."

The single word undid him. He climbed into bed beside her, drawing her into his arms. They lay together, Elizabeth clinging to him as if she would never let go. "I'm sorry," she breathed. "I am so, so sorry. This is all my fault. I initiated that..."

Nathan shook his head, cupping her cheek. "No, sweetheart. Don't blame yourself. I shouldn't have let things go so far. As your husband, it's my job to protect your heart. We moved too quickly." He kissed her forehead. "Would you like to tell me what happened? I think I have an idea, but I want to hear it from you."

She pressed her lips together, trembling. "I flashed back." She swallowed hard. "When you started to kiss my neck, I started feeling memories come back. I tried to keep them away, but then you kissed the spot where he held the knife."

Sorrow pierced Nathan's heart. He held her closer, offering his strength as she continued.

"All I could see and feel in my mind was the press of the weapon. When he held it to my throat, it nicked my skin. I could feel it pressing against my airway. During the assault, the knife kept digging deeper into my neck until it started bleeding. I...I was so scared he was going to kill me after he assaulted me." She started crying quietly. "Your kiss brought that back. I'm so upset that something that should be wonderful between us is a trigger for me."

"Oh, my love," Nathan whispered, wishing he could take away her pain. His heart ached that he could do nothing.

Elizabeth sniffed, then continued. "I think the reason you touching my hips brought back memories is because that's where he held me captive. His grip was bruising. My hip was sore for over two weeks." She buried her face in his neck, her words muffled. "I wish I could forget the trauma. I wish I could give myself to you fully. I want us to truly be husband and wife. I just don't know when I'll get there."

Nathan hesitated, wondering how she would take his next suggestion, the one that had come to him on his walk home. "I think we should take the pressure off ourselves."

Elizabeth blinked, pulling back. Curiosity shone in her eyes. "What do you mean?"

He took a breath. "I think we should wait to be intimate until after our daughter is born and you've healed both from the birth and any lingering trauma from the assault."

His wife's mouth dropped and she stared at him. "You realize that would be at least five months away?" she asked when she finally found her voice.

Nathan nodded, his eyes trained on hers. "I know. But I want our first time together to be memorable, unhindered by memories of what happened to you and hopefully free from pain or discomfort as well." He touched her rounded stomach. "I don't know much about intimacy during pregnancy, but you're six months along, Elizabeth. It might not be comfortable for you right now."

She blinked. "I didn't even think about that." Her eyes lost focus, telling Nathan she was thinking. He let her, giving her time. Finally, a smile graced her lips. "You are the most thoughtful, considerate, unselfish man I've ever known, Nathan. I want you to know that." She swallowed, emotion shining in her eyes. "Thank you for protecting my heart." The words came out in a whisper.

Nathan tightened his arms around her. "You are precious to me, love," he responded. "I want what's best for you."

She smiled, snuggling against him. Nathan had more to say, and once again he wondered how she would respond to his thoughts. "Elizabeth?"

"Hmm?"

"What would you say to a deliberate attempt to desensitize you to your fears?"

She pushed back to look at him, confused. "What do you mean?"

He hesitated. Was this a foolish plan? He bit his lip before continuing. "You reacted strongly to being kissed on your neck and touched on your hips. What if I touched you there daily? What if you knew it was coming and were able to brace yourself? Maybe...maybe eventually you would associate those touches with pleasure rather than fear." He held his breath. "What do you think?"

Elizabeth was quiet for a few moments. When she spoke, her voice was quiet. "I'm willing to try if it means we'll eventually be able to come together as one," she said, tears sparkling in her eyes. "But Nathan...what if there are other parts of my body that react?"

"I thought of that," he admitted. "I think a test of sorts is in order." He sat up and turned to face her. "Why don't we try it now?"

Elizabeth raised a brow. "What will this test involve?"

He smiled, knowing it would take a great deal of self-control not to let himself give in to the desire that was sure to come. "I'll run my hands over your body and see if anything causes a reaction."

Uncertainty clouded his wife's face. "Do you think that's a good idea? I'd hate to put you through anything like what you already experienced earlier…"

He shook his head, cutting off her words. "We both know this won't lead to anything. I won't let it." He smiled. "Trust me?"

Her lips parted as she gave a single nod.

Nathan breathed deeply, forcing himself to focus. "Alright. Let me know if you need me to stop at any time." He placed his hands on her shoulders, slowly and carefully running them down her arms. He moved next to her torso. Elizabeth never flinched. She watched him, the trust in her eyes doing more for his heart than the feel of her body. He avoided her hips at first, not wanting to trigger her again. When he finished at her feet, Elizabeth let out a sigh of relief.

"It's only my hips that react to your touch," she said quietly.

Nathan nodded, knowing the next part could be the hardest. "I'm going to touch them now," he said softly. Fear lit her features, but she nodded her permission. Nathan leaned down to kiss her lips tenderly. "You're safe with me," he whispered. Slowly, his hands reached for her hips, caressing them lightly.

Elizabeth tensed. Nathan paused, then continued his ministrations. Elizabeth closed her eyes and grit her teeth, but she didn't ask him to stop. He could feel her shaking. He lightened his touch even more, barely resting his hands on her body. He slid them up to her waist, giving her a break. She let out a relieved breath, opening her eyes.

Nathan studied her. "Are you alright?"

She nodded, swallowing hard. "It wasn't pleasant, but I think this could work. Given time, I might come to enjoy that touch." She placed a hand on his cheek. "Your gentleness was wonderful. Thank you, Nathan."

He smiled. Elizabeth watched him, looking a little bit like a nervous child. "Are you planning on kissing my neck now?"

"No," he said, laying beside her once more. "I think touching your hips was enough for tonight. We'll try the kisses tomorrow."

"Okay," she said quietly, snuggling against him. She was silent for so long, Nathan wondered if she had already fallen asleep. Instead, he heard her soft voice float to his ears from her spot against his chest. "I love you, Nathan."

His heart gravitated even closer to hers. There might still be struggles ahead, but he was glad they would navigate them together. "I love you too, Elizabeth."