- Chapter 45 -

Case of the Killer Pizzas

Within the sunken Technodrome, Krang and Ch'rell waited before the transdimensional portal. Their patience was rewarded when the portal lit up, sending a Krangdroid carrying three small meatball-like eggs through.

"It's about time," Krang grumbled. "I was getting sick of waiting."

"Apologies, General," the soldier replied. "Crinaix are very protective of their young. I barely got away with the eggs."

Krang took a look, the wrinkles between his eyes furrowing. "Only three? I needed seven!"

"They were all I could salvage!" the soldier defended.

Krang sighed, pinching his brow. "Fine. I'll take what I can get."

"Honestly sir, why do you bother with these useless ingrates?" Ch'rell questioned.

"I have asked myself that question many times," Krang confessed. "Nevertheless, we'll move forward with the plan. If it succeeds, we'll have no further need for these fools."

"Sir, how exactly are we going to be sure the Turtles get the eggs?" the soldier asked.

Krang grinned evilly. "Through their greatest weakness.:

In the lair, Mikey came speeding into the living room, skidding across the rug in excitement.

"Dudes, dudes, dudes, dudes, dudes!" he exclaimed. "You're not gonna believe what I just learned!"

"This oughta be good," Raph remarked.

Mikey waved a flyer around, displaying the logo for Antonio's Pizza-Rama. "Antonio's is having a big pizza bake-off! Free samples! Deluxe pizza prizes! We gotta go!"

"I'm not passing up free pizza," Vee declared, closing the book she was reading and rising to her feet. "Let's do this!"

"Eh, what the hey?" Raph decided. "Count me in."

"Me too," said Hisako. "I've been itching to get out of the sewers now that I'm healthy again."

"Let's go for it," Donnie decided.

Leo shrugged. "Yeah, why not? Should be fun."

"Great!" Mikey declared with a grin. "Let's go!"

In front of Antonio's Pizza-Rama, a small crowd had formed, Casey, April, and Kagome among them.

"Boy, would the Turtles and Hisako love this," Kagome mused.

"To be sure," Casey agreed.

"You bet we would!" Mikey's voice chimed in.

They all turned to see the Turtles and Hisako walk over, the former five in their usual disguises.

"Hey guys!" Casey greeted.

"You're looking better, Hisako," April observed.

"Feeling better too," Hisako agreed.

"Can't say I'm surprised you guys came here," Kagome remarked.

"Hey, we're not missing a chance at free pizza!" Raph told her.

April smiled at her friends, then turned back towards the crowd, searching for someone. Her eyes narrowed as she seemingly came up empty.

"Where is she?" she questioned.

"Who?" Donnie asked.

"Irma. One of our friends from school," Kagome explained. "She said she'd meet us here."

"Hey!" a voice called out. On cue, a girl wearing glasses with black hair and purple streaks ran up. She stopped, panting and out of breath. "Sorry… I overslept."

"Wait… Irma?" Leo asked. "Doesn't an Irma Langenstein work as Kasumi's secretary?"

"She's my mom," the girl, Irma, replied.

"So, you're like Irma Jr.?" Mikey asked.

Irma shrugged. "Pretty much, yeah."

"Do you work at Kohaku Enterprises, too?" Hisako asked.

"No," April replied. "She's an intern at Channel 6."

"So, you guys entering the raffle?" Casey asked, turning to the Turtles.

"You bet!" Mikey grinned.

All six siblings then held up their tickets.

"Oh, thank God," Kagome sighed in relief. "I was afraid Mikey would be entering the actual bake-off."

"He wanted to," Leo admitted. "But we talked him out of it."

"I wanted to flex my skills," Mikey chimed in.

"What skills?" Raph deadpanned, getting a snicker from everyone else.

"Are the pizzas he makes that bad?" Irma questioned.

"He was banned from the kitchen for two years when I first showed up," Hisako explained, thinking for a moment. "What was it he tried to feed me?"

"A pizza topped with pepperoni, peanut butter, clams, and hot fudge," Leo recited, eliciting looks of disgust from everyone.

"Oh c'mon, guys," Mikey whined. "You used to go all out with the pizza toppings just like me."

"Because we were dumb kids," Vee pointed out. "We grew up."

"And you were going to eat that?" Casey questioned, turning to Hisako like she was insane.

"I didn't know what food was supposed to taste like," Hisako defended, holding up her hands.

"Good thing we stopped you," Raph remarked, "otherwise Donnie would've had to whip up a stomach pump."

"Please tell me you didn't actually taste any of that..." Irma begged.

"Irma, let me put this into perspective." Hisako clapped her hands in front of her, her face serious. "I had spent the past ten years eating alien prison rations, and that was then they deigned to feed me. I would literally eat anything back then."

Irma paled. "Yikes..."

"Putting aside Mikey's pizza habits," Leo interjected, "let's go enjoy the pizzas!"

-X-

Unbeknownst to the Turtles and their friends, a Miss Campbell robot was in the crowd. Through her eyes, Krang and Ch'rell saw everything, and noticed the Turtles and co. standing there.

"Perfect, they're all here," Ch'rell grinned.

The robot slipped into the back door of Antonio's, noticing the three prize pizzas sitting there on a table, fresh from the oven.

"The prizes are finished, and just in time," Krang remarked. "Let's add the secret ingredient."

The robot placed the "meatballs" into the center of the pizza prizes, and slipped out. As soon as it had exited, Antonio himself came into the kitchen alongside a delivery boy.

"We just got a rush order, Chet!" he declared.

"But boss," Chet objected, "we don't have any deluxe left."

"Well, take them from the prize table, then," Antonio told him. "I'll make some more for the drawing."

Chet nodded, packaging two of the pizzas and leaving as Antonio got to work.

-X-

As soon as the pizzas were ready, Antonio wheeled them outside, and the raffle began. Eventually, he collected the tickets.

"And the winners are… Hamato Leonardo, Hamato Michelangelo, and Hamato Donatello!" he announced, the Turtles immediately bursting into whoops and cheers.

"I won! I won!" Mikey cheered. "Whoopee!"

"We won!" Leo corrected.

The three Turtles walked up, collecting their prizes and making their way back to the others.

"April, here. You can have this," Donnie said, handing her the pizza he collected. "We eat it all the time. I'm feeling generous."

"Cool! Thanks, Donnie," April said with a smile. "Casey and I can eat this at our place."

Donnie's smile slightly drained at hearing that. "And… why would he be going to your place?"

"She's been tutoring me," Casey explained. "Gotta work on my grades to stay on the sports team."

"Oh," Donnie let out, not comforted by that knowledge in the slightest. "I see."

"C'mon, Casey," April told him. "We've got a lot of ground to cover if you're gonna pass algebra."

The two left. Donnie watched them go, his right eye twitching slightly.

"Relax, Don," Mikey told him, clapping him on the back. "A little pizza goes a long way."

At the 2nd Time Around, April placed the pizza into the microwave to heat it up while she and Casey got to work. Eventually, the microwave beeped, and April went to get it, straining slightly under the weight.

"Wow, this pizza's heavy all of a sudden," she remarked.

She placed it down on the table and opened the lid of the box… instantly jumping back at the sight of a bizarre red creature in the box, having already devoured the pizza.

"What the hell is this?!" Casey demanded, jumping to his feet.

The creature let out a screech and jumped out of the box, glaring at the two with an animalistic gaze. Casey snatched up a bat and swung at it.

"Goongala!" he shouted, swinging and sending it flying across the room. "Take that, ya little freak!"

The Crinaix slammed into the wall, hissed, and scurried into the laundry room.

"So…" April let out, "I'm gonna call Leo and the others now."

"Good idea," Casey agreed, cautiously making his way to the laundry room with bat in hand.

At the lair, the Hamato siblings and Kagome enjoyed their victory pizza, save for Donnie, who just picked at the toppings.

"Hey, if you're not gonna eat, I'll take your half, man," Mikey said, greedily reaching for Donnie's pieces. Of course Donnie slapped his hand away.

"Don't even think about it!" he snapped. "I'm just…"

Hisako pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance. "For the love of Bushido, it's a study session, not a wedding proposal."

"C'mon, Don," Kagome added. "Get a grip."

At that very moment, Donnie's T-Phone went off, and he answered it. "April?"

"Hey, Donnie?" April's voice came, somewhat frantic. "You know that pizza you gave me? There was… something on it."

Donnie raised an eyebrow. "Define 'something'."

In the background, he heard snarling, and a scream from Casey. "Get offa me, you little meatball!"

"Something evil, vicious... and currently running rampant in my laundry room," April clarified.

"We'll be right there," Donnie told her, hanging up and turning to his siblings and Kagome. "You're… not gonna believe this."

The Shellraiser rumbled up in front of the 2nd Time Around, while the others processed what Donnie told them.

"So, April and Casey are being menaced by a… killer pizza?" Vee questioned.

"Killer pizza toppings, apparently," Donnie corrected.

"We'll figure out what it is after we stop it," Leo decided.

They opened the door, and were immediately met with April.

"So, where's this killer pizza?" Hisako asked.

"It's not the pizza. It's the creature that came with the pizza," April clarified, just as sounds of smashing, scurrying, and screaming came from the laundry room. "And it's in there."

The Hamato septet hurried to the laundry room, just in time to see the creature scurry away from Casey and behind the washing machine.

"What on Earth is that thing?!" Kagome demanded.

"I don't think it's from anywhere on Earth, Kagome," Hisako replied. "My guess, it's an alien."

April's eyes widened in realization. "Krang!"

Raph scoffed. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Gotta give Krang credit," Mikey mused. "He basically turned our favorite food into a way to kill us."

"I can't tell if that's low, or just plain desperate," Donnie said sarcastically.

Hisako gasped, a realization hitting her. "Guys, there were three prizes at the raffle, and we won all three. Considering how astronomically impossible that should have been, we have to assume that Krang rigged it so we would get all three. However, only one had an alien meatball."

"What're you saying, Hisako?" Leo questioned, already dreading the answer.

Hisako turned to him. "That knowing Krang, there are two more vicious meatballs out there!"

They all gasped in horror at that realization.

"Okay, people, we need to move!" Leo declared. "Raph, call Antonio's and get the addresses for those deliveries. Donnie, you call Mortu, find out what we're up against."

"Way ahead of ya!" Raph told him.

"You got it, Leo!" Donnie said.

As Raph dialed Antonio's, Donnie called Mortu, quickly providing him with a detailed description of the alien in the laundry room. Once he was done, Mortu did not sound happy in the slightest.

"The Crinaix…" Mortu cursed. "Blast it."

"Uh, how bad is this thing?" Donnie questioned.

"They're vicious when full grown. I'm honestly surprised any of Krang's men were able to steal their eggs and escape with their lives."

"Fortunately, they just hatched," Mikey pointed out. "We got a while before they're a major threat, right?"

"As long as they stay away from water sources."

"Wait…" Donnie let out. "Are you telling me these things grow into adults when they get wet?"

"Unfortunately. So whatever you do, do not get it wet."

"And let me guess, don't feed them after midnight too, right?" Mikey quipped.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Earth reference," Mikey dismissed. "Forget it."

At that moment, they heard something sizzling behind the washing machine and Hisako sniffed the air.

"Is something burning?" she questioned.

Leo and Kagome moved the washing machine, and they all gaped at the sight of a sizable hole burned right through the wall behind it. Donnie turned back to the phone.

"They can generate heat too, can't they?" he deadpanned.

"Yes. Why?"

"Because the Crinaix in April's laundry room just burned through the wall and made a getaway." Donnie informed him.

"Quick!" Mikey shouted. "After that meatball!"

"We can't let it get near any water!" Leo shouted.

Raph finished talking with the people at Antonio's and hung up. "Okay, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is, I found out where the other two pizzas are going, and they're headed to the same place."

"And the bad news?" Kagome asked.

"They're going to…" Raph gulped before going on, "they're going to a birthday party for a little girl named Chloe."

"Wait, Chloe?" Vee asked. "Airi has a friend named Chloe. Tai said that she was going to a birthday party this afternoon."

"Oh no..." Hisako said with dawning horror.

The realization hit them all like a ton of bricks.

"Oh, my God!" Kagome shrieked. "We need to stop them from getting that pizza!"

"Then you better get moving," Casey told them. "April and me will go after the runaway meatball from here."

April looked over the burn hole in the wall and sighed. "Dad's gonna kill me for this."

"Eh, you can blame it on me," Casey offered as they gave chase to the alien.

The Shellraiser screamed through the streets of New York, arriving at Chloe's house just in time to see her father taking the pizzas from Chet.

"Shit, we're too late!" Raph cursed.

"Not yet!" Hisako burst out of the Shellraiser, yanking the pizzas out of the man's hand telekinetically.

"Hey!" Chloe's father shouted. "What do you think you're doing?!"

"Sir, listen to me," Leo insisted. "That pizza is dangerous. I know it sounds crazy, but I'm telling the truth."

Hisako threw open the pizza boxes. Sure enough, the Crinaix within had hatched, and both let out a screech that was echoed by everyone else.

"Everyone clear out!" Leo shouted.

Hisako grabbed onto the Crinaix. "Get the kids out of here!"

The Crinaix heated up their bodies in Hisako's grip and she dropped them in pain.

"YEOW!" she shouted, blowing on her singed fingers. "Hot little sucker."

Chloe's dad grabbed a pitcher of Kool-Aid, running out with it.

"I got it!" he shouted, beginning to throw it.

"NO!" Kagome screamed. "Don't get it-" It was too late. Chloe's dad threw the Kool-Aid onto the Crinaix, soaking them both. "-wet..."

The Crinaix began spasming and screeching, mutating into massive, yellow Xenomorph-like creatures that let out a powerful, terrifying roar.

"RUN!" Leo screamed to the party guests. "GET OUT OF HERE NOW!"

Parents were already scooping up their kids and fleeing. Tai ran over, holding Airi in his arms.

"Leo, what the hell is going on here?!" he demanded. "What are those things?!"

"Crinaix," Leo told him. "Krang brought them here from Dimension X."

"He sprinkled their eggs on those prize pizzas at Antonio's," Raph explained. "They were meant for us."

"Wow," Tai said flatly. "Can't tell if that's clever or desperate."

"Exactly what I said," Donnie remarked before snapping to attention. "Tai, get Airi out of here. We've got this."

"No argument here," Tai agreed. "C'mon, Airi."

He turned and ran, Airi in his arms. As he ran, Airi looked over his shoulder.

"Go get 'em!" she cheered.

Leo ran at the Crinaix, slashing at it with his sword. The creature caught his blade, and tossed him aside before running for it alongside its fellow beast. The seven gave chase, eventually stopping at a hole burned through a sewer lid.

"They went underground!" Leo reported.

"Damn it…" Donnie cursed. "If they touch the sewer water, who knows how big they'll get!"

At that moment, Raph's T-Phone buzzed. He pulled it out, revealing a text from Casey. "Shit, the third one made it down there too! Fan-fuckin'-tastic!"

They hurried down the manhole, arriving just in time to see all three Crinaix standing tall, waist-deep in the sewer water.

"You're too late, Turtles!" They whirled around to see the Ms. Campbell robot from the parlor emerge from the darkness, speaking in Krang's voice and carrying a remote control.

"YOU!" Hisako shouted. "What have you done?!"

"The Crinaix have reached their full growth! Your end is nigh!" The Campbell bot pressed a few buttons and the Crinaix immediately stiffened, turning their gaze on the Hamato septet. "There are your targets. KILL THEM!"

The Crinaix all roared and lunged at the group, but Hisako jumped ahead, restraining them with telekinesis.

"RUN!" she shouted.

The group immediately turned and fled.

"We're just leaving her?!" Raph demanded.

"We need a plan, and she's buying us time!" Leo retorted.

Donnie quickly dialed Mortu as they ran. "Mortu, the Crinaix are fully matured and after us! We need a weakness now!"

"High voltage!" Mortu said hurriedly. "A large enough electric shock will destroy them!"

Donnie quickly relayed the information.

"The power station!" Leo said. "It's our best bet!"

-X-

Hisako strained to keep the Crinaix back as Krang looked on, the face of the Campbell robot lit with unholy glee. "This is it, Oracle! I created you, and I will be your end!"

Hisako fell to her knees, her nose bleeding. "You didn't… create me… And my name. Is. Hisako!"

Her eyes flashed green, and the resulting psionic explosion sent the Crinaix sailing back, along with the Campbell robot. Campbell slammed into the wall behind her, the remote control flying out of her hand and splashing into the water.

"You fool!" Krang shouted. "Without that, the Crinaix are out of my control! They'll destroy everything!"

Hisako panted on her hands and knees, forcing her head up.

"Doesn't make... much difference... since you planned... to do that... anyway." she retorted, still trying to regain her strength. "If I'm lucky... they'll start... with you."

As if on cue, the now out-of-control Crinaix turned on the Campbell robot, swiftly ripping it to pieces. Hisako managed a smirk. "If only that was... the real Krang."

With the bot reduced to scrap, the Crinaix turned on Hisako, drooling and hissing.

"And now… I'm fucked…" Hisako let out.

Before they could pounce on her, Vee and Kagome slid in, grabbing Hisako and taking off in the opposite direction.

"Sis, you gotta take better care of yourself!" Vee remarked as they ran.

"Where… are we going?" Hisako asked.

"The power station!" Kagome explained. "Mortu gave us a weakness! Those things can't stand electricity!"

"Are they following us?" Mikey asked, looking over his shoulder. Sure enough, the snarling creatures were lumbering after them. "Yep!"

"Here they come!" Vee shouted, the group running as hard as they can.

They made it to the power station, and one of the Crinaix lunged, pinning Raph to the wall. Raph scowled, glaring at it defiantly.

"I hope you choke on me, you freak!" he spat.

Just as the Crinaix lowered its head, preparing to bite into Raph, Mikey jumped onto its head.

"Nobody eats my brother!" he shouted.

Raph drew his sai and plunged it into the monster's neck, drawing a gush of amber-colored blood. The Crinaix flung him off with a screech, and loomed over Raph and Mikey, drooling, just as a shuriken hit it in the side of the head.

"Hey, ugly!" Kagome shouted. "Over here!" They all turned to see Kagome waving at it, standing right in front of a fuse box. "C'mon! Yummy, fresh meat right here! Come and get me!"

The Crinaix roared, charging at her. Kagome dove to the side just in time to dodge the beast, who jammed its claws right into the fuse box. It surged with electricity before dropping to the ground, dead.

"One down, two to go!" Kagome boasted.

Hisako threw her tessen upward, severing some low hanging wires in the ceiling.

"Heads up!" she shouted.

Leo ran forward, drop-kicking one of the other Crinaix in the chest. It stumbled back, getting itself caught by the wire. It spasmed as it fried, and collapsed.

"Oooh, shocking!" Mikey quipped, the others shooting him a glare. "Oh, c'mon. Somebody had to do it."

They all turned on the last Crinaix. Donnie twirled his staff, slamming the business end of it into the creature's face, rocking its head back and knocking a few teeth loose. It reeled back, and Donnie slipped his staff behind its legs and tripped it up. The Crinaix fell back, slamming its head into a transformer. A loud crackle sounded, and the beast spasmed violently before going limp.

"Well, that's that," Donnie declared.

"That'll teach Krang to mess with our pizza," Vee remarked.

Hisako glanced out at the city, gulping. "Uh, guys? I… think we caused a blackout."

They looked out at the city and froze. Indeed, most of the city had gone dark.

"...Whoops..." Raph managed.

"Okay," Mikey said, expanding the syllables before raising a hand. "All those for getting outta here before anyone sees it was us?"

"Aye!" Everyone agreed, hurrying down the nearest manhole.

Deep within the Technodrome, Krang sat in his throne room, trembling with rage as he realized what had happened.

"Sir, we can try again., Ch'rell began. "Just because the Crinaix failed-"

"Get out," Krang cut him off, calm but cold. "All of you, leave this room."

Getting the message, Ch'rell and the other soldiers fled the room en masse. Krang stood up, taking a deep breath to calm himself, and failed.

"Those…" he managed, shaking. "Those, miserable, wretched, despicable…" With that, he finally exploded, blasting the walls around him with his arm cannon. "TUUUUUURTLES!"

Author's Note:

For those who don't know, this chapter is an adaptation of the 1987 episode The Case of the Killer Pizzas. The name of the pizza monsters, the Crinaix, comes from the Fantasy Name Generator.

Chloe is from 2012, the little girl Leo has tea with in Slash and Destroy. Her name was revealed in the IDW comic spin-off Amazing Adventures.

Please R&R. Until next time!