Chapter 36: Innocence
January 21, 1998 – Wednesday
Angel's Apartment
The rain poured down. Buffy snuggled cozily against her pillow and reached for Angel.
He wasn't there.
She opened her eyes, remembering where she was, and slowly sat up pulling the sheets across her breasts.
Lightning flashed outside as she glanced across the room.
"Angel?" she called, almost a whisper.
But he wasn't there.
Halliwell Manor
Buffy was about a third of the way up the stairs before Prue called out, "Good morning."
She darted back down the stairs. A little breathless, she said, "Good morning."
"So, you and Angel were going on a simple recon. What happened?" Prue came from the dining room into the front hall.
Buffy stood there looking at her eldest cousin for a moment and then sighed. "The Judge was assembled," she told Prue. "The Judge noticed us. We tried to escape but were caught. I would have flamed out if not for Angel. I did try later after they hauled us in front of the Judge and…"
"It didn't work," Prue said in understanding. She like her cousin knew their powers were tied to their emotions.
Buffy nodded. "Yeah," she sighed. "Anyways due to Angel's quick thinking we were able to exit through a hole into the sewers and made our way to his apartment," she continued. "It was raining and the sewers were running pretty good. On top of that when we got to his apartment I was drenched and cold. He gave me some clothes and told me to change and then tucked me into bed to get warm. I must have fallen asleep. He was gone when I woke up, probably to do some more recon."
"At least your alright," Prue said in obvious relief. "You had us worried when you didn't come home. Go take a shower I'll drive you to school."
"Thanks." Buffy said as she hugged Prue and then headed up the stairs.
"I'll let Piper and Phoebe know your okay," Prue said as she continued past Buffy on up to the attic.
Gateway High School
Buffy and Prue walked through the library's double doors.
"Buffy!" Willow cried.
"We were just going to rescue you," Xander told the younger Halliwell.
"Well some of us were." Willow looked pointedly at Giles.
"I would have." Giles sounded defensive.
Ms. Calendar walked up beside Willow. "Where's Angel?"
Prue frowned as she turned to Giles. "He didn't check in with you guys?"
"No," Giles told her.
Cordelia slid off the counter. "What happened?"
Giles took a breath. "The Judge . . . is he?"
"No assembly required," Buffy confirmed wearily. "He's active."
"Damnit." Giles pulled off his glasses.
Buffy continued, "He nearly killed us. Angel got us out."
"Why didn't you call?" Giles asked more gently.Like a worried dad. "We thought—"
"I've talked to her on her reasons why she didn't call," Prue told the Watcher. "And they were good reasons. I'm not going to have her go into it again."
"So no one's heard from him?" Buffy's voice was little-girl-lost.
"No..." Willow answered.
"He didn't say where he was going?" Ms. Calendar questioned.
Buffy looked at Prue. As if to say I didn't tell you everything. "No, we just…we just split up."
Prue nodded with a sigh. She would talk to Buffy later about why she didn't get the entire story.
Willow came forward and said soothingly, "I'm sure he'll come by."
"Yeah. I'm sure you're right." Buffy sounded not at all convinced.
"Buffy, Prue, the Judge." Giles hesitated, like he didn't want to sound callous. "We must stop him."
"We know," Prue replied.
"What can you tell us?" Giles asked Buffy, all ears.
"Not much," Buffy admitted. "I just kicked him, and it was like a sudden fever. If he got his hands on me . . ."
Prue looked at the ground in understanding. If the Judge had touched Buffy, she and her sisters would have lost Buffy for good this time.
"In time he won't need to," Giles said anxiously. "The stronger he gets, he'll be able to reduce us to charcoal with a look."
"Also?" Buffy added. "Not the prettiest man in town."
Giles sighed in frustration "I'm going to continue researching, look for a weak spot. The rest of you should get to your classes."
"I better go, too," Miss Calendar said, moving toward the door. "I'll go on the Net and search for anything on the Judge."
"Thank you," Giles said sincerely. He then looked at Prue. "Prue, a moment if you please?"
Xander paused at the door. "After classes, I'll come back and help you research."
Cordelia began to sweep by him, then stopped for one last arrow. "Yeah, you might find something useful . . . if it's in an I-Can-Read book." She patted his chest.
Xander was taken aback. Then he shrugged it off and went on his way. The Judge could definitely do a lot more harm than Cordy.
Willow walked with Buffy down the corridor as students bustled around them. She asked, "You don't think Angel would have gone after the Judge himself, do you?"
"No. He'd know better than that. Maybe he just needed . . . I don't know. I just wish he'd contact me. I need to talk to him."
They went up the stairs, unaware that Ms. Calendar lingered behind them, listening and unconsciously tapping her fingers against her mug of herbal tea, deep in thought.
0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0
Giles paced in front of the eldest Halliwell. "I don't mean to pry, but what did she tell you?" he asked finally looking at Prue.
"After Angel got them out down into the sewers they made their way to his apartment. It was raining and Buffy was drenched and cold. She said Angel gave her some clothes to sleep in and put her in his bed to warm her up. She fell asleep and when she woke he was gone." Prue told him. She didn't mention the fact that she was pretty sure that Buffy had slept with Angel. She didn't want to air her cousin's sex life to anyone. But she would be talking about to Buffy later.
0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0
Buffy sat as her history teacher lectured about the current lesson. She looked from the window to her hands and finally at the clock.
"So, can somebody tell me some of the differences between the Bolsheviks and the Mensheviks? What really separated them? Anyone?" the teacher asked looking at Buffy.
Buffy stared at the teacher and then stood up and headed for the door.
"Miss Halliwell, I'm sorry, did you have somewhere important to be?" the teacher questioned as Buffy left the room.
Angel's Apartment
Buffy flamed into Angel's apartment looking around. "Angel?" she called out. There was no response and she flamed out.
Halliwell Manor
Buffy flamed into the foyer of the Manor. Her heart pounded. She was numb with fear and dizzying confusion. She hesitantly opened the front door and stepped into the foyer. "Prue? Piper? Phoebe?" she called out.
Prue came down the stairs. "Buffy?" she said looking at her cousin.
"Angel wasn't his apartment," she told her cousin. "Please help me find him?" she begged.
Prue looked at Buffy for a long moment. Buffy knew how she felt about Buffy and Angel's relationship. But in that particular moment she saw the tears that glistened on her cousin's cheeks as she remembered what they had tried to do for someone she herself had loved. "Of course," she told her cousin. "But Buffy before we go. Care to explain why you didn't give me the whole story this morning."
"You mean about…" Buffy said realizing what Prue was asking about, that she had sex with Angel.
Prue nodded as she saw the embarrassment on her cousin's face. "Yes I mean…You don't think that's why he left?" she questioned.
"No I don't." Buffy was adamant. "I'm sure that's not why."
"Okay I just wanted to make sure. You wouldn't have been the first person to have a one night stand," Prue said as she looked at cousin, who nodded. "Also while you are still underage. I'm not going to admonish you for having a sex life. I wasn't a virgin at seventeen either." she admitted as Buffy looked at her surprised at the revelation.
"You weren't," Buffy asked shyly.
"No, I wasn't," Prue told her cousin with a smile. "I'll go let Piper and Phoebe know I'm leaving. Then we'll go find Angel."
Angel's Apartment
Buffy and Prue walked up to the door of the apartment. "I will stay out here," Prue offered. "If he's in there I will give you two some privacy. Especially when you have something very serious you need to talk to him about."
"Thank's, Prue," Buffy replied as she gaze her cousin a look of appreciation. She turned and let herself into his apartment. As always, it was muted. The soft lighting gave an antique sheen to the objects in the room—the statue in the case, the chair that reminded her of old movies about New York.
Then she saw the crimson pillows, the coverlet. The things he had given her to wear, which she had neatly folded and left on his bed.
She turned at a noise and saw him shirtless, emerging from behind a screen, in black leather pants, putting on his chain.
"Angel!" Joyfully, she ran to him and threw her arms around him. It was almost like a dream, she was so glad to see him. It made her feel like she was spinning.
"Hey," he said pleasantly.
"Oh, Angel, oh, God, I was so worried." Held him so tightly she would never be able to let him go.
"Didn't mean to frighten you." He gave her a little smile.
"Where did you go?" Tears of relief streamed down her face.
"Been around."
She hugged him again. "I was freaking out. You just disappeared. I had Prue driving me around town checking everywhere we thought you might be," she reproved him, unable to keep the happiness out of her voice, managing just a touch of possessive lecture mode.
"What? I took off," he said, with a distinct lack of concern.
"But you didn't say anything," she said, puzzled. "You just left."
He started putting on a gray silk shirt. He smirked at her and said, "Yeah, like I really wanted to stick around after that."
Buffy blinked, as stunned as if he had slapped her. "Wh—what?"
"You've got a lot to learn about men, kiddo. Although I guess you proved that last night." He made a little face, as if he was embarrassed for her.
She went completely numb. 'This can't be happening. He couldn't have said what I think he just said. Please tell me Prue wasn't right,' she thought. "What are you saying?"
"Let's not make an issue out of it, okay? In fact, let's not talk about it at all." He shrugged. "Hey, it happened."
"I don't understand." She could barely get the words out. She had come to him in trust. In love. But the way he was acting . . . it was . . . "Was it me?" she asked in a small voice. "Was I . . . not good?"
He laughed heartily. "You were great. Really." He leered at her. "I thought you were a pro."
She clenched her jaw to keep from bursting into tears. Her stomach was clenching. She was shaking. "Goddess! How can you say these things to me?" she asked brokenly.
"Lighten up. It was a good time." He rolled his eyes. "Doesn't mean we have to make a big deal."
"It is a big deal!" she cried. "It's—it's—"
"It's what? Bells ringing? Fireworks?" he mocked. "A dulcet choir of pretty little birdies?" He sniggered. "Come on, Buffy." He leaned into her, reaching to chuck her under the chin. "It's not like I've never been there before."
She took a step back. "Don't touch me," she whispered.
He smirked. "I should have known you wouldn't be able to handle it."
"Angel!" She stared at him, her heart reaching out to him one more time. Unable to capitulate to his cruelty. Unable to accept that it was her boyfriend acting like this. "I love you."
"Love ya too," he drawled. He went to the door, opened it, his back to her. "I'll call you." He sauntered out. He didn't even look over his shoulder at her. He saw Prue waiting beside the door.
"Angel?" Prue said looking at the vampire.
"Hey, Prue. I tried to let her down easy." Angel replied as he walked on past her with out another word.
Prue stared after him and then hurried into his apartment. She saw that her cousin was trembling with pain and shock. She was sure that as far as Buffy was concerned the world had just ended. "Buffy?" she said as she crossed the room to her cousin, who collapsed into her embrace sobbing into her shoulder.
Gateway High School
"What about the Judge? Where do we stand?" Willow asked as she and Xander walked down the corridor back to the library.
"On a pile of really boring books that say exactly the same thing," he admitted.
"Let me guess. 'No weapon forged . . .'"
"'It took an army . . .'"
"Huh. Yeah, where's an army when you need one?" she asked, rather bitterly.
Xander blinked. Hard. Army?
"What?" Willow asked.
"Whoa. Whoa." His mind was racing. "I think I'm having a thought. Yeah. Yeah, that's a thought. Now I'm having a plan." The lights in the hallway went out. Xander said, "And now I'm having a wiggins."
"What's going on?" Willow asked anxiously.
He took her arm and they both started down the corridor as Xander said, "Let's get back to the library."
"Willow? Xander?" a voice called softly behind them.
They turned. The muted silhouette of a tall guy stood beside the illuminated trophy case.
"Angel," Xander said, relieved that it was a friend.
"Thank God you're okay!" Willow cried. "Did you see Buffy?
"Yeah." Angel sounded calm and collected. He looked around. "What's up with the lights?"
"I don't know," Xander said, gesturing for Angel's attention. "Listen I have an idea—"
"Forget about that. I've got something to show you." He gestured toward the closed doors behind him with his shoulder.
"Show us?" Willow sounded as puzzled as Xander.
"Yes. Xander, go get the others."
Xander moved into action. "Okay." He took off.
"And Willow, come here," Angel said.
Willow walked toward him. "What is it, Angel?"
"It's amazing," he promised.
Willow kept walking.
0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0
Further down the corridor, beyond the set of doors, a strange feeling passed through Xander. 'Something's not right,' he thought He turned, frowned, and started back toward where he had left Willow with Angel.
Willow had almost reached Angel.
"Willow, get away from him." It was Ms. Calendar.
"What?" Willow faced her. The dark-haired teacher was holding a large wooden cross.
"Walk to me," she said firmly.
Willow didn't get it. Hesitating in midstep, she said, "What are you talking about?"
Then Angel growled and grabbed her up, one hand around her neck, the other clenching her shoulder. She struggled, completely freaked, as he practically choked the breath out of her.
Xander ran through the doors and skidded to a stop beside Ms. Calendar. "Don't do that!" he shouted.
"Oh, I think I do that," Angel said viciously.
Willow looked up at him. He was in full vamp face, his eyes glowing golden. "Angel . . ." she pleaded.
"He's not Angel anymore. Are you?" Ms. Calendar asked in a cold, hard voice.
"Wrong. I am Angel." Even his voice was different— mean, savage. "At last."
"Oh, my God," Xander breathed, getting it.
"I've got a message for Buffy," Angel continued, squeezing harder.
"Then why don't you give it to me yourself?"
Angel pulled Willow with him as he whirled around to face Buffy and Prue, who looked hard and fierce and thoroughly ready to kill him if he didn't let go of Willow. Willow allowed herself to hope that she was going to live through this. But Angel was gripping her really, really hard.
"Well, it's not really the kind of message you tell," Angel informed Buffy. "It sort of involves finding the bodies of all your friends." He gave Willow another hard squeeze. She cried out hoarsely, terrified.
Buffy was trying to be strong, but she was shaking. Angel was inches away from strangling Willow right in front of her. "This can't be you," she said, staring at the wild creature who was menacing her friend.
Prue looked at Angel. She had to agreed with Buffy, that this was not Angel, she had never known him to be cruel in the nearly a year that she had known the vampire.
"We've already covered that subject," Angel flung at Buffy.
Buffy couldn't keep the pain from her face and her voice as she fought to get through to him. "Angel, there must be some part of you inside that still remembers who you are."
"Dream on, schoolgirl," he sneered. "Your boyfriend is dead. You're all gonna join him."
Behind Angel, Xander took the cross from Ms. Calendar and began advancing on the vampire.
"Leave Willow alone and deal with me," Buffy ordered Angel.
"But she's so cute." Angel pinched Willow's cheek. Willow gasped. "And helpless." His tone grew husky, insinuating. His claddagh ring caught the glint of the light, and Buffy was almost sick. "It's really a turn-on."
Xander made his move. He darted around Angel's right and shoved the cross in Angel's face. Angel roared with fury and flung Willow at Xander. They both slammed into the wall and collapsed to the floor.
Furious, Angel advanced on Buffy, grabbing her, looming over her. He brought his face close to hers and whispered, "Things are about to get very interesting."
"Buffy!" Prue screamed in sudden concern for her cousin.
Then Angel kissed Buffy hard, a kiss filled with contempt and loathing, then threw her away from himself.
Buffy hit Prue and they fell to the floor as their backs smacked the wall. In shock, Buffy stared while Angel backed through the exit doors, obviously savoring his handiwork, and left.
Xander and Willow ran to her. "Buffy, Prue," Xander demanded urgently, "are you both okay?"
Buffy made no answer. She only kept staring.
Prue looked at Xander, Willow and Ms. Calendar. "Everyone step back, give her some air." She then turned her attention to Buffy. "Buffy?"
Buffy couldn't speak.
0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0
After Angel split, everyone convened in the library. Giles paced around the study desk as Ms. Calendar looked on. Buffy was flanked on one side of the table by Prue, Piper and Phoebe all of whom were trying to comfort her as best as they could. On the other side of the table sat Cordelia, Willow and Xander.
Buffy felt very far away. She could hardly concentrate on what they were saying.
"And we're absolutely certain that Angel has reverted to his former self?" Giles queried.
"Yeah, we're all certain. Anybody not feeling certain here?" Xander asked very seriously.
"Giles, you wouldn't have believed him. He was so . . ." Willow took a breath as it all sank in. "He came here to kill us."
"She's sadly right," Prue admitted.
Cordelia grimaced. "What are we going to do?"
"I'm leaning toward blind panic, myself," Giles muttered.
Ms. Calendar frowned at him. "Rupert, don't talk like that. The kids."
"I'm sorry." Giles struggled to compose himself and rubbed his forehead. "It's just, things are bad enough with the Judge here. Angel crossing over to the other side . . . I just wasn't prepared for that."
"None of us were," Piper admitted. As soon as she and Phoebe had arrived Prue had filled them in on everything.
Buffy held her claddagh ring and slowly turned it in her hand.
Across the table, Willow rose and came round to her. She gently asked, "Are you okay?" Buffy shook her head. "Is there anything I can do?" she tried.
Again Buffy shook her head. "I should have known," she said mournfully. Tears streaked her face. "I saw him at the house. He was . . . different. The things he said . . ." She couldn't continue.
Giles leaned forward, ready to take notes. "What things?"
Prue glared at the Watcher as her cousin looked away. "It's private."
"But you didn't know he had turned bad?" Ms. Calendar asked Buffy.
Phoebe looked from Buffy to the teacher. "How did you?"
"What?" Miss Calendar said.
Willow realized what Phoebe had. "You knew," she said slowly. "You told me to get away from him."
Ms. Calendar shrugged. "Well, I saw his face."
Giles was still analyzing. "If we only knew how it happened."
That caught Buffy's attention. "What do you mean?" she asked, looking at him as he sat at the table.
"Well, something set it off," he explained. "Some event must have triggered his transformation." He noticed the glance that Prue and Buffy shared. "If anyone would know, Buffy, it should be you."
"I don't," Buffy blurted. "I—"
"Well, did anything happen last night that—"
"What part of private don't you understand," Prue snapped at the Watcher.
Blindly, Buffy got up and ran out of the room.
"Prue, I'm sorry but we can't afford to... Buffy!" Giles told the eldest Halliwell.
Willow's gaze locked on Buffy's retreating back as the rest of the Halliwells stood and followed their cousin. She realized what had happened. What had triggered the transformation. She knew. "Giles, shut up," she said levelly, watching Buffy, Prue, Phoebe and Piper retreat through the swinging doors.
0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0
Prue, Piper and Phoebe caught up Buffy half way down the corridor. Phoebe placed a hand on Buffy's shoulder while Prue and Piper both wrapped an arm around Buffy's waist. "Why don't you flame us back to the Manor?" Prue suggested.
Buffy looked at her consins for a moment with a sad smile, thankful for their support. And then they disappear in bright flames.
Halliwell Manor
Buffy moved quietly through her room as Prue watched from the door. She walked to her dressing table, tears still welling, as she touched the silver Carolingian cross Angel had given her when they had first met. It had become a cherished gift. Now it was a source of protection.
Trembling, she let go of it, walking away, blinking back the tears, twisting her ring.
She looked down.
It was the ring he had given her.
The tears started spilling down her cheeks as she slipped it from her finger; by the time it was off, the tears were streaming down her face. She carried the claddagh ring to the bed and lay on her coverlet, her resolve crumbling, grief-stricken. She sobbed into her pillow, more alone than she had ever been in her entire life.
"Piper, Phoebe!" Prue called and her sisters rushed into the room seconds later. The three of them stood the for a moment and then moved to the bed.
Prue climbed onto the bed right away, trailing her hand up Buffy's back then brushing the hair from her cousin's face.
Buffy squeezed her eyes closed and sobbed harder, turning towards Prue and burying her head in her chest.
Prue's eyes fell closed as Buffy clutched to her desperately, like she was her lifeline. "Buffy," she whispered, wrapping her in her arms tightly and kissing her head, "baby girl."
Piper stopped at the side of the bed, hesitating as she fought her tears sparked by her cousin's cries. Phoebe came up behind her and squeezed her hand, nodding toward Buffy and Prue.
Piper slid up beside Prue, reaching for Buffy whose hand shot out towards her and grabbed Piper's hand tightly, holding on for dear life. Piper kissed Buffy's hand and brought it to her chest, reaching out to stroke her face with her free hand in a continuous, soothing motion.
Phoebe smiled slightly at the scene before shaking herself, taking a deep breath and moving around to the other side of the bed. She climbed on behind Buffy scooting as close to her as possible and wrapping her arm around Buffy's middle, burying her face in her cousin's hair.
Buffy's heart-wrenching sobs grew louder, their force raking her small frame painfully as she grieved for her devastating loss in the loving arms of her three cousins.
Buffy's Dreamscape
The crimson sheets undulated; silk and satin, smooth, melting like warm candle wax. Angel's hand stroked Buffy's hair, his lips trailed along her skin, his lips found her closed eyes, the side of her nose, her earlobe.
Her fingertips traced his tattoo; her ring glinted against his flesh; his ring gleamed as he rang a finger down her chin. Their sighs mingled, their moans deep with longing. Muscles tightening, hearts pounded . . . the fires of their passion rose, and yet he was so gentle for her, so careful for her.
"I love you," he whispered.
Then Angelus the demon roared at her—
And walked toward her in a daylit cemetery, where she stood with other mourners before an open grave.
Angel looked straight at her and said, "You have to know what to see."
Bewildered, she looked at him, then slowly swung her gaze to the veiled woman beside her. Dressed all in black, Jenny Calendar pulled her veil over her head and stared with sad eyes at the grave.
January 22, 1998 – Thursday
Gateway High School
Buffy marched into the school, completely ignoring the students milling around her, her cousins flanking her. Without missing a beat, they strode into the main building, down the corridor, and into Ms. Calendar's computer science classroom.
Students were taking their seats. The teacher was chatting softly with Giles. Buffy brushed past her Watcher, as he said, in mild surprise, "Buffy . . ."
In one swift motion, Buffy grabbed Ms. Calendar around the neck and slammed her back onto the desk.
Pencils and diskettes flew everywhere.
"Buffy!" Giles cried, trying to grab Buffy by the arm. He found himself telekinetically restrained by Prue.
There was a calm, deadly purpose in Buffy's eyes as she glared at Ms. Calendar. "What do you know?"
As the students looked on in shock, one of them took off his earphones, half-rising as he called out, "Should I get the principal?"
Giles glanced at him. "No. I'll handle this."
Buffy let go of Miss Calendar, allowing her up as she backed away, but pinned her with an unrelenting stare.
"You're all dismissed," Giles said to the class.
As the kids filed out, Buffy, Prue, Piper and Phoebe never took their eyes off Miss Calendar. "Did you do it? Did you change him?" Buffy asked.
Miss Calendar was catching her breath, and did not speak.
"For God's sake, calm down," Giles ordered Buffy.
"Did you know what was going to happen?" Prue questioned the teacher.
"Buffy, Prue, you can't just go accusing people around you of—" Giles started.
"I didn't know . . . exactly," Ms. Calendar said.
That caught Giles's attention. He stood stunned beside Buffy, Prue, Piper and Phoebe, who waited for Ms. Calendar to spill the rest of it.
Ms. Calendar looked to Giles first, maybe because she couldn't face Buffy.
"I was told . . ." Then she ticked her glance at Buffy, Prue, Piper and Phoebe and looked away, murmuring, "Oh, God," under her breath.
The four Halliwells didn't let up.
Ms. Calendar took a deep breath and met Buffy's eyes. "I was sent here to watch you. They told me to keep you and Angel apart." She rushed on, shaking her head slightly, "They never told me what would happen."
Giles was stunned. "Jenny—"
"I'm sorry, Rupert." She looked down again, as if she didn't quite believe what she said next. "Angel was supposed to pay for what he did to my people."
"And me?" Buffy demanded. "What was I supposed to be paying for?"
Guilt splashed across Ms. Calendar's features. "I didn't know what would happen until after. I swear I would have told you."
The five women were silent for a moment. A silent understanding passed between them.
"So it was Buffy," Prue stated. "She did it."
"I think so," the teacher said sadly before looking directly at Buffy again. "I mean, if you—"
Giles stepped forward. "I don't understand."
"The curse," Ms. Calendar said to him, rising. "If Angel achieved true happiness, even just a moment of it," she glanced at Buffy, "he would lose his soul."
"But how do you know you were responsible?" Giles asked Buffy.
Buffy glanced at him. Something in her look must have communicated itself to him. "Oh." Looking uncomfortable in the extreme, he took off his glasses. Buffy was humiliated.
"Now you understand why I said it was private," Prue told the Watcher. "You don't have a right to know about Buffy's sex life. I don't care if you're her Watcher or not. Some things should be left private."
Miss Calendar began, "If there's anything—"
"Curse him again," Buffy said at once.
The teacher shook her head. "No. I can't. Those magicks are long lost, even to my people."
None of the Halliwells believed believe her. "You did it once," Phoebe said. "It might not be too late to save him."
"It can't be done," Miss Calendar repeated. "I can't help you."
Without hesitation, Buffy said, "Then take us to someone who can."
Enyos Hotel Room
Ms. Calendar led the way into her uncle's room, followed by Buffy, and then Prue, Piper, Phoebe and Giles. She saw the body first, and gasped, "Oh, my God."
Buffy, Prue, Piper and Phoebe stared, and Giles almost lost it. His hand hovered near his mouth.
Then they saw the message on the wall, written in blood, and in Angelus's handwriting:
Was it good for you too?
"He's doing this deliberately, Buffy. He's trying to make it harder for you." Giles said, obviously trying to soothe her.
"Rupert's right," Prue agreed. "He's doing this to torture you mentally."
Buffy kept her eyes fixed on the words. On the cruelty. "He's only making it easier. I know what I have to do."
Piper, Prue, Phoebe and Giles looked at her. "What?" they asked in unison.
"Kill him," Buffy said simply.
Gateway High School
In Giles's office, Xander and Oz deposited an oblong wooden crate on his desk. Back in the library, Cordelia and Willow were loading weapons into a gym bag.
"Happy Birthday, Buffy," Xander said. "I hope you like the color."
Buffy stepped forward, observing while Giles took a crowbar to the lid. Behind them stood Piper, Prue and Phoebe.
"Giles, Prue, we'll hit the factory first, but we may not find them. If they're on the offensive, we need to figure out where they'll go," Buffy strategized. Adrenaline was coursing through her. She was ready to fight.
"Agreed," Giles said, prying open the lid. He threw it back.
Prue turned and looked at her sisters. "Up for trying to scry for him?" she asked Phoebe.
"Yeah, for what he's doing to Buffy," Phoebe said as she exited the office. "More than ready," she called over her shoulder.
Buffy gazed at the contents of the box. "This is good."
Hovering in the doorway, Miss Calendar took an uncertain step forward. "Do you . . ." she asked tentatively, "is there something I can do to—"
Prue, Piper and Buffy didn't even look at her. All they said in unison was, "Get out."
Giles looked across the room at the teacher, as she said softly, "I just want to help."
Giles looked down slightly, then turned his back. "They said get out." No joy there, no anger. Just siding with the Halliwells, that was all. But Buffy scrutinized him, both touched and saddened that he had been forced to pick sides. That any of this had happened.
Miss Calendar withdrew. Xander approached, and asked Buffy, "Do you want me to show you how to use it?"
"Yes, I do." Buffy was all business. "Prue?"
"Phoebe is scrying for him as we speak," Prue answered knowing what her cousin was asking.
0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0
Phoebe stood beside the table, a map of San Francisco laid out in front of her. She had Buffy's claddagh ring in hand using it as the focus as she scried for Angelus's location. She smiled as the crystal dropped. "Got him!" she called out. "I know where he's at."
Stonestown Galleria
The Stonestown Galleria
More specifically, the mall atrium.
Angelus, Dru, and their minions escorted the Judge to the upper level.
As if on cue, an oblivious businessman carrying a briefcase walked up the stairs, directly into the Judge's line of fire. The Judge stretched out his left hand, shooting energy at the man. The man began to burn. Fire blazed from his eye sockets, and then the flames flared out from inside his body.
Within seconds, he was entirely consumed.
Satisfied, Angelus said to his minions, "Lock the exits, boys." And to the Judge, "It's all yours."
The Judge looked pretty darn happy about that.
0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0
The elevator doors opened, and Buffy led the way, followed by Prue, Piper and Phoebe. Giles came up behind them, the oblong box on his shoulder.
"Everybody keep back. Damage control only," Buffy ordered, as they marched down the mall. "Take out any lesser vamps if you can. I'll handle the Smurf." She looked at Prue, Piper and Phoebe. "It's going to be crowded…"
"We already have exposure," Prue reminded her cousin.
"We don't need even more exposure," Buffy countered. "It's one thing for us to be seen as heroes. It's another thing to be outed as witches. Just help them get the innocents out."
Prue looked at her sisters. "You heard her," she told them. "I'll be with Buffy." She looked back at her cousin. "No powers, but just in case."
"Okay," Buffy said as she smiled at Prue. "Then, get the crossbow. I got my gift."
0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0
The Judge took up position on the stairway, flanked by Angelus and Dru. Not so surprisingly the shoppers continued on their way, no one having noticed the annihilation of the businessman.
The Judge opened wide his arms. Fiery pulses emanated from him, connecting to the humans closest to him, then shooting directly through them to others, and to others. It was a connect-the-dots web of energy. The Judge was loving it. Angelus was loving that he loved it.
Dru bounced on her heels and cooed, "Oh, goody."
Then someone shot an arrow directly into the Judge's chest. He winced, stumbling backward, which turned off his power. The people he had attacked staggered and gasped, but for the most part, were alive.
He pulled the arrow from his chest, breaking it off in the process. "Who dares?" he bellowed.
Angelus turned, his eyes wide.
0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0
Prue smirked as traded positions with Buffy. She hopped of the top of the popcorn machine as Buffy climbed on it. They were about fifty yards away from the Judge, who was standing at the top of a double set of stairs. As the Halliwells already knew when Phoebe had scried for Angelus, Angelus and Dru were with him.
"I think I got his attention," Prue told her cousin with grim satisfaction.
The Judge addressed them directly. "You are fools. No weapon forged can stop me."
"That was then. This is now." Buffy took the rocket launcher from Giles. She put it on her shoulder, and aimed. It made a whining noise as it armed itself. The shoppers started screaming and scattering.
She flicked the switch, took aim.
0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0
Across the building, Angelus looked at Drusilla, and she at him. They both knew what was up.
Hurtling themselves forward, they abandoned the Judge, who asked, with mild curiosity and a touch of concern, "What's that do?"
Angelus and Drusilla leaped over the stairway balcony as Buffy pulled the trigger. The package screamed straight for the Judge, made impact, and blew him to bits. His vampire companions were thrown forward by the blast. Drusilla and Angelus both landed hard, as tiny fragments of the Judge rained down on them like a scattershot of rock.
Angelus got to his feet and disappeared. Drusilla was left behind, completely wigging out, scurrying away in a paroxysm of whimpering. Her henchmen trailed after her.
0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0
Buffy took a moment to register the kill as smoke from the blast billowed toward the ceiling. The others peeked from behind the concession stand.
"My best present ever," she said to Xander, handing him the rocket launcher.
Xander took it from her. "Knew you'd like it."
"Do you think he's dead?" Willow asked.
"We can't be sure," Buffy answered. "Pick up the pieces. Keep them separate."
The others moved to obey. But Cordelia grumbled, "Pieces? We're getting pieces? Our job sucks!"
Buffy saw Angelus running across the atrium. He threw people out of his way in an effort to get the hell out of there.
"Prue," Buffy called as she jumped off the popcorn machine in hot pursuit, Prue not far behind her.
Meanwhile, the burning debris of the Judge created a lot of smoke. The smoke set off the overhead sprinklers. Soon the interior of the mall was soaking with water with more cascading down.
Then there they were, confined in a cul-de-sac containing a pastry counter and little else, searching for him. Angelus seized the advantage and attacked Buffy from behind. She went down.
"You know what the worst part was?" Angelus asked roughly, glaring at her through the sprinkler downpour as she got to her knees and faced him. "Pretending that I loved you. If I'd known how easily you'd give it up, I wouldn't have even bothered."
Buffy got to her feet and gave him a sad, mad look. "That doesn't work anymore," she said coldly. "You're not Angel."
"Buffy's right," Prue agreed. "Angel had a soul. You killed him."
"You both would like to think that, wouldn't you? Doesn't matter." He grinned at them, savoring Buffy's pain. "The important thing is, Buffy, you made me the man I am today."
That got Buffy and Prue. They kicked him in the face, then punched his arm. He did them one better and belted first Buffy and then Prue in the face, then the stomach. He grabbed Prue's head and whirling around, laid her out with a sharp side kick to the head.
Prue went down again as Angelus turned on Buffy.
He picked Buffy up over his shoulder and flung her down to the floor next to Prue. They sprang back up, but he blocked their blows and got in a sharp undercut to first Prue and then Buffy's her chins, whipping back their head. Then a left, and then a right.
And then they were down again.
"Not quitting on me already, are you?" he said, reveling in the fear on Buffy's face. "Come on, Buffy, Prue," he sneered. "You know you both want it, huh?"
"Prue," Buffy said with a glance at her eldest cousin. "My fight."
Prue nodded in understanding. This was revenge. She backed off.
Buffy flung herself at him, and the kicks and punches came so fast and furious he couldn't keep count of how many times she'd connected. She used him like a punching bag, and then she dragged him forward, ramming his head through a glass case, then back up through the glass top. She pummeled him. A front kick, a roundhouse. He was thrown backward and landed on the floor.
When he jumped up, he saw that a fireball had formed in her hand. He saw her waver. Her face was a study in pain. He smiled as she extinguished the fireball. "You can't do it," he said triumphantly. "You can't kill me."
"Buffy?" Prue said with concern.
Buffy's pain hardened into anger. Before Angel realized what she was doing, she kicked him with all her Slayer's strength right between the legs.
He groaned and doubled over, mouth open in a silent scream of pain. He couldn't make another sound as he gagged and fell to his knees.
Buffy turned her back and walked over to Prue who wrapped an arm around her as they walked away in the water-sprinkler rain. "Give me time."
0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0
Giles met Buffy, Prue, Piper and Phoebe by Piper's car. "It's not over. I suppose you know that," he told them. The Halliwells nodded slightly. "He'll come after you, particularly, Buffy. His profile—well, he's likely to strike out at the things that made him the most human."
In a hoarse, tight voice, Buffy rasped, "You must be so disappointed in me." She looked from Prue, to Piper to Phoebe and finally to Giles.
"No. No, I'm not," Giles said sincerely.
"Neither are we," Prue added as Piper and Phoebe nodded agreement.
"But this is all my fault." Buffy told them as tears welled.
Prue shook her head. "I don't believe it is."
"Do you want me to wag my finger at you and tell you you acted rashly? You did, and I can." Giles added.
Buffy looked down, preparing herself for words that she knew would hurt.
"But I know that you loved him, and he has proven more than once that he loved you," Giles continued.
Buffy glanced at Giles, Prue, Piper and Phoebe, hungry for forgiveness, starving for their gentle words of comfort.
"You couldn't have known what would happen," Piper told her cousin.
"The coming months are going to be hard, I suspect, on all of us," Giles told his Slayer. "But if it's guilt you're looking for, Buffy, I believe I speak for myself and your cousins. We are not the people. All you will get from us is our support and our respect."
"And our love," Phoebe added.
Buffy's silence spanned the space between them. Her tears ran like rain.
January 23, 1998 – Friday
Halliwell Manor
Prue had told her that the actor's name was Robert Young. Buffy couldn't remember the name of the actress who was singing,"Good night, my love. My moment with you now is ending." They were rich people on a luxurious cruise on a vast ocean of black and white.
Piper came in with a cup of coffee and a tray with four cupcakes on it. One was topped with an unlit candle. She brought them over to the coffee table and sat between Prue and Buffy on the couch. She glanced at the TV and asked, "Did I miss anything?"
Buffy roused herself. "Oh, uh, just some singing. And some running around."
Piper looked inside a wooden box and a round pottery bowl with a lid, and finally located a book of matches. "I'm sorry I didn't have time to bake you a real cake."
"No. This is good." Buffy meant it. 'This is home. With Prue, Piper and Phoebe. The life we don't usually have.' Buffy thought.
"But we're still going shopping tomorrow," Piper reminded her cousin.
Buffy looked at Piper, Prue and Phoebe and smiled at them. They could tell their cousin wasn't back to her old self as the smile didn't reach Buffy's eyes. But they would be there through everything that Buffy needed them for.
Then Piper lit the candle on the cupcake. "Happy birthday," Prue, Piper and Phoebe said in unison.
"Well, go on," Phoebe urged. "Make a wish."
Buffy looked at the tiny point of light. "I'll just let it burn." She laid her head on Prue's chest. Prue stroked her hair.
The black and white people sang,"Good night, my love."
And Buffy watched the candle burn.
Prue, Piper and Phoebe looked at each other and nodded at the unspoken agreement. They would help Buffy to take down Angelus together.