Whilst his lying beside her may keep her heart rate in check, it did not keep the nightmares at bay.

He kept a hand on her at all times, which kept her calm, but she refused to sleep unless he was awake.

It was a good thing no one had tried to give them any District 13 schedules. Taiya had taken to frequently napping during the day. If he was awake, he'd be able to see her first shudder, and he'd immediately reach over and shake her awake before the horrors attacked her subconscious. He always felt horrible waking her and disturbing what precious little sleep she could get. But she begged him to and he could just never say no to her.

"Are you sleeping?" his quiet voice mumbled, breaking the silence she'd lain in for hours.

She didn't want to let him know just how bad her sleep pattern was (he definitely knew), so she tried her best to adjust her breathing, trying to replicate that of a sleeping person.

It may have been too dramatic.

He lifted his head and peered over her shoulder.

"Your eyes are open."

"I was sleeping," she mumbled. "It's fine, go back to sleep."

"Do you want to sleep in shifts?" he offered. "I can keep an eye on you and you can keep an eye on me."

"Trust me, I'm okay," she smiled, rolling over and placing her head on his chest. "See. Super cozy, I'll be asleep in no time."

"Well, you may as well sleep. Because I'm not tired," he said as he tried to stifle a yawn. "I've got you, Ariel," he squeezed her shoulder.

Taiya's head whipped up to look at him. He hadn't called her Ariel in 10 years. The last time he'd called her Ariel was before his Games when they'd said goodbye.

Where would they be if Finnick was never reaped? They'd still be together, that's for sure. That seemed like a fate. Their parents would still be alive, Theo would be alive, and Taiya's dad would still be mayor. They'd be well off. They'd probably already be married with kids, that wasn't unusual for most of their District.

Despite the comfort Taiya had spent her life in, many people in 4 were poor. The only way to survive would be to pool resources through marriage.

Finnick was never well off, though neither was he poor like the Cresta's. But they still would need to marry so he could live in the same comfort Taiya was used to. He'd probably be working on the docks, putting his trident skills to use as he caught fish, no doubt being able to bring some home every night for food for their growing family. She couldn't imagine not being friends with the other victors though. She could only hope they would've linked up and bonded at some point.

Maybe Theo would have fallen in love and their kids would be playing together in the sea while the childhood best friends laughed together on the beach.

All of this Taiya tried her best never to think about it. But hearing the name Ariel come from his lips after 10 years brought this back.

He'd always joked that the mayor, the leader of the District was the equivalent to Triton, and his unruly daughter who loved to mess around with the runts of District 4 was Ariel.

She didn't know whether calling her Ariel was a ploy to make her think of home, but it worked. As her imagination ran through what their lives would have been like, she felt more at peace than she had in days and she gradually drifted off to sleep.

"NO!" she gasped as she flung herself away from the hands that were shaking her awake, her heart hammering in her chest.

"You're ok, you're ok," a smooth, familiar voice comforted her as he ran his hands over her hair.

"Finn?"

"Yeah, yeah it's me, I've got you."

Taiya let out a ragged breath. It was fine. He was here. He was alive.

She flung herself at him, wrapping her arms firmly around his chest as she clung to him.

"You want to talk about it?"

"Absolutely not," she shut down as softly as she could. She could never talk about it.

Lizards mutts.

"Well, on a positive note, that was the longest you slept through without me waking you."

"Really?"

"Really! Going on 3 hours. Score!"

She chuckled lightly as she nuzzled her head into his neck as she breathed in. His scent had changed since he'd been living here. It was missing a touch of home and she missed it.

The salt air smell was all but faded. She'd never wanted anything more than to be back home with him.

After the rebels finished and won the Capitol. Then they could do that.

In the meantime she was determined to stay here, safely protected by the bunkers in 13. It'd survived the bomb attack that Peeta had foiled, so it could keep them safe from everything.

"I know you don't like this idea…" Finnick hesitated. "But some morphling might help? Just a couple drops and you might be able to sleep nightmare-free."

"No," Taiya shut down softly. "I don't want that. Johanna's already losing control of it. I'm not going down that path."

"You need to sleep," Finnick brushed her hair off her cheek. "It's not healthy Tay, you're just going to get worse."

"I'd rather get worse than fall down a path of morphling I can't come back from. I'll be fine, just get some rest Finn. I'll try to sleep."

"Promise me you'll at least try."

"I swear I'll try."

Lie or not, he hoped she was at least telling the truth a little bit. So reluctantly, he nodded before gradually drifting off to much-needed sleep, leaving Taiya wide awake as she struggled to erase the screams from her head.

"Come with us," Buck and Haymitch stepped in front of Taiya, cutting her off so she couldn't continue walking.

"No. That's creepy," she rolled her eyes and tried to step around her, but they countered her step to block her. "What do you want?" Taiya sighed, maybe it was better to indulge the two old grumps.

"We need you to come with us."

"I'm pretty sure serial killers use that line," Taiya deadpanned.

"Right," Haymitch coughed. "Let's just go. We three need to have a little chat."

"You guys are the worst," Taiya groaned. "Lead the way."

She expected them to lead her to one of the compartments, but no. They stopped in front of a supply closet, opened the door and wanted her to go in first.

"No way," Taiya held her finger up to their faces aggressively. "I'm not getting in there. I'm not falling for that again," she snapped at Haymitch.

"Huh?" Buck questioned as he looked over at the District 12 victor.

"When are you going to get over that?" Haymitch muttered.

"7 hours!" she hissed. "It took 7 hours for Seneca and Romulus to find me. 7 hours!"

"To be fair," Haymitch tried to reason. "I didn't mean to leave you there that long. I'd had a lot to drink and I forgot where I put you."

"Where you put… me…" she glared, making Haymitch throw his hands in the air in surrender.

"You locked her in a closet?" Buck's eyes lit up with pure delight.

"She and Johanna wouldn't stop singing," Haymitch shrugged. He had no regrets. "I had to separate them somehow and only one of them would follow me without questioning it. Easy target."

"Rude," Taiya mumbled.

"Haymitch," Buck gave the man a shove, pushing the man through the door first before Taiya begrudgingly followed him in.

"So what do you two want? I promised Finnick once I left my therapy session I'd head straight back. I'm not even meant to be walking around without supervision."

"We're supervision," Buck tried to reason.

"I don't think you two are considered… reliable babysitters," she tried to soften the blow that they were pretty useless when it came to getting Taiya to behave.

"You hear that Buck," Haymitch nudged his arm. "We're too cool to be considered babysitters."

"I was thinking more along the lines of terrible influences," she smiled at him sarcastically.

"Well you never know, it could be good for Finnick's stress resistance," Buck shrugged. "If he has to worry about you going on another attempted murder spree he might build up a tolerance."

"I don't think that's how stress works…" Taiya frowned.

"That doesn't matter right now, we three need to have a chat. But first, you have to swear you won't tell Tyler or Finnick about this," Buck warned her.

"Are we starting a cult?" Taiya asked excitedly.

"No," Haymitch rolled his eyes. "But we do need your word you won't tell on us."

"How old are you guys? 12? I mean, seriously. Tell on you," she mocked. Ok, fine. I give you my word."

"Lock the door," Haymitch nodded at Buck who quickly flicked the lock.

"What's going on?" Taiya frowned.

"What do you think of 13?" Buck asked.

"Huh?"

"Honest thoughts. Katniss sometimes hides out in this cupboard, there are no cameras, no microphones. You can say what you want."

"Hang on a minute, where is Katniss?" Taiya turned to ask Haymitch. She honestly hadn't even cared to ask before this moment. She hadn't seen the girl walking around in the two weeks she'd been in 13.

"She's gone off to District 2 to help fight. After what happened with Peeta, she was really shaken up. She needed to get out."

"District 2? Isn't that super dangerous? Finnick said they're the only District actively fighting against the rebels?"

"Well, she needed to do something," Haymitch shrugged.

"She didn't want to stay here and help Peeta?" Taiya sneered.

"She's been keeping tabs on him."

"It's not the same thing," Taiya crossed her arms. "Thoughts on District 13 though… I don't know, I haven't thought about it too much. They saved us. The President's annoying, but I guess that's inevitable. No major issues. I'm comfortable enough here for now, but I wouldn't want to stay here forever"

"You were right," Buck muttered to Haymitch.

"Right about what?" Taiya frowned.

"Look," Buck hesitated as he worked out the best way to phrase what he needed to tell her. "I'm very glad you're back with Finnick. But you're acting the same way you do when you're at home. When you're safe."

"What are you talking about? We are safe, District 13 rescued us."

"When you're home, and you're safe, you live in your own little bubble of comfort. You don't need to worry because what could happen inside the Victor Village? Nothing," Buck ran a hand over his face before he sighed. "You need to behave like you do in the Capitol."

Taiya's face fell instantly as a chill ran through her body. They weren't as safe as she thought.

"You need to be on edge. You need to be analysing everything. Over analysing."

"Why?" Taiya demanded. She needed to know what she had missed.

"District 13 is… strict," Haymitch tried to explain, but Taiya could see he had been trying to search for a stronger word than strict. "You and Finnick both haven't been deemed mentally stable enough to be giving schedules like the rest of us, but you do NOT go against the schedule. The rules here are rigid and the punishments are harsh."

Taiya frowned. That hadn't been her experience. "I stabbed Plutarch and they let me out in a couple of days?" That didn't seem very harsh.

"That's because Plutarch knows how to play the game. He's spent years observing us, especially you with your being so involved with the Gamemakers," Buck explained. "No one else has been let off as easy as you."

"Why would they let me off easy?"

"Because you're the key to getting Finnick," Haymitch gave her a small smile. "Katniss is the mockingjay, the face of the rebellion, and she may be good with a bow and arrow, but everyone knows Finnick is the most skilled fighter."

"That's true," Taiya nodded with a frown. He'd been somewhat of a child prodigy back in the academy, and his skills had only improved with age.

"They need Finnick on their side. They need him to fight with the rebels. They may train soldiers down here, but none have been in a real life-or-death situation like we have. If they punish you there's no way they'll get him to co-operate."

"Why are you telling me this?" Taiya asked cautiously.

"Because getting you back, rescuing you, hasn't had the effect they were after. It hasn't energised Finnick to fight, it's gotten him to hide away with you in your compartment. They thought he'd be after revenge for what they did to you."

"Finnick's not that kind of person," Taiya shook her head. "How did you find this out?"

"Haymitch and I walked past when Plutarch and Coin were discussing it," Buck explained. "Us being here in 13 isn't out of the goodness of their heart. It's transactional. They keep us safe from the Capitol here, and we have to perform their show."

"Perform how?"

"Whatever they approach you about next, you have to do it," Haymitch reluctantly told her. "It'll be a test most likely."

"Plutarch's idea?" Taiya asked. She didn't like the man after he'd abandoned her in the arena, but she'd known him for years. And the thought of him betraying her again... it hurt.

"I don't think Plutarch will want to upset either you or Finnick. He's patient and he's smart."

"Coin," Taiya sighed. She was the source of the threat.

"Don't mess with her," Buck warned.

"Like it or not, Snow using the two of you against each other all those years was an effective method of control. She knows that. I don't want to see either of you pulled back into the same cycle you've just escaped," Haymitch lay a hand on her shoulder. She understood perfectly. She had to perform. Finnick had to perform. Or they'd hold their love over their heads tauntingly and threateningly as Snow had done over the years.

"What do I need to do?"

"Whatever it is that they ask you to do next. Consider it," Buck offered. "Don't shut it down, and don't stab Plutarch."

"Do it," Haymitch emphasised.

How had she been so foolish to imagine she was free? She'd never be free.

Taiya took one last look at the men before she unlocked the door and stormed out.

Taiya had snuck onto a level she'd never been before. It was the hangar where she'd been brought into the district from.

She'd been pretending to be unconscious that time though, so she hadn't had a proper look at it.

Gloss had called it a war zone, but Taiya had just thought he meant the grey interior design. But after her conversation with Haymitch and Buck, she knew Gloss'd been serious.

The number is weapons in this hangar was beyond belief. It was a stockpile of nuclear weapons.

She knew they were going to war with the Capitol, but after listening to Haymitch and Buck speak, she now had doubts they were doing it for the right reasons.

All these years they had these nuclear weapons ready to go, and instead, they had to wait for a 17-year-old girl to piss off President Snow so they could use her as a campaign figurehead?

It made no sense.

"Taiya?" a vaguely familiar voice made her jump as she spun around.

"Gale," she looked down at the ground, trying to hide the tears that had begun to swim in her eyes.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I got lost," she lied as she looked up and shot him a smile. "Would you mind showing me the way back? These corridors," she tucked her hair behind her ears. "They all look the same and I get a bit disoriented," she giggled slightly.

The boy had seemed to be nice enough to her. And he also seemed well respected around here. If he liked her, she could manipulate that.

"Yeah come on," he nodded. "I have something for you anyway," he mumbled, leading the way out of the hangar.

"You got me a present?" Taiya twirled a bit of hair around her finger.

"Yeah, the uh, straw you asked for. For Peeta."

Taiya immediately released her hair as she looked at him properly.

"Really?"

"Yeah," he nodded stiffly. "I'll bring it for you at dinner."

"Thank you," Taiya looked up at him, and she truly meant it.

"Here we go," Gale clicked a button, opening up the door to compartment O to show Finnick and Tyler pacing back and forward.

"Oh thank god," Finnick breathed, rushing towards her to hug her, quickly releasing her before he looked up at Gale. He didn't say anything to the man, he just nodded at him and ushered her into the room.

"You know I found her wandering around the weapons hangar. It's a good thing someone's looking after her and watching her back," Gale taunted Finnick.

Finnick released his hold on Taiya when they reached Tyler and quickly turned back around to face Gale.

Taiya snuck a quick glance up at Tyler to catch the end of one of his signature eye rolls.

Ahhhh, now it made sense why Gale seemed to be going out of his way to be nice to Taiya. This morning he'd even carried her breakfast tray for her, which Finnick hadn't been happy about at all. But he'd swooped in and grabbed it before Finnick could even offer.

He was trying to make Finnick jealous, and given Tyler's obvious exasperation, this wasn't a new thing.

Finnick didn't say anything to him, he just sauntered forward and pressed the button for the door, sending it sliding closed in Gale's face.

He turned back around to be greeted by Taiya's smirk, and Tyler's exhausted face. Both of which he chose to ignore as he walked over to sit down on the bed.

"Where were you?" he asked quietly. "I was so worried."

"I'm sorry. I really did get lost," Taiya lied. She'd keep her promise to Buck and Haymitch not to tell what they'd told her. "I always walk around with you, so I guess I've never paid much attention to what corridors lead where. I must've made a wrong turn after I left the hospital.

Finnick just nodded as he wiped his hands on his pants.

Taiya frowned as she studied him. He was stressed out of his mind. He was displaying all his tells. Fidgety hands, downcast eyes, tapping food, lip biting.

"Hey," Taiya instantly moved to his side, taking his hand in hers. "I'm fine. I promise," she pulled his face towards hers.

"Finnick…" Tyler sighed.

"I can't," Finnick shook his head instantly. "I just can't."

"Do you want me to?" Tyler asked.

"What's happening?" Taiya asked, looking between the two men. They'd obviously been discussing something before she came in.

"Yeah," Finnick nodded at Tyler, squeezing Taiya's hand even tighter.

"Ty?"

"You need to know what happened whilst you were in the Capitol. What happened to Finnick."

Taiya just shook her head. "No, Finnick told me he wasn't ready to tell me the details." She looked over at her fiancé. "You don't need to tell me."

"No," he mumbled. "It's better that you know. You told me what happened to you."

And so Tyler went on, detailing how far Finnick's mental state fell whilst she was being held captive. How he was borderline catatonic in the weeks following his rescue. How he could barely remember conversations as they were happening. How he would be released from hospital only to be readmitted the very next day. He told her every brutal detail. And she felt her heart shatter.

She also had a newfound appreciation for the girl on fire. She helped Finnick when Taiya was unable to, and for that, she'd be eternally grateful. She could never repay her. This girl whom she'd judged so harshly. Whom she'd hated for unwillingly being the catalyst for the quarter quell. Whom she hated for making the decision that led to Seneca's death. But she'd been the one to stick by Finnick's side and comfort him in Taiya's absence. She was the one who negotiated the agreement with the President for immunity for the victors that was currently keeping Taiya safe from the repercussions of her actions.

It also explained why Finnick's stress increased so much when they were apart. They never needed to be side by side to function, but Mrs Everdeen, Taiya's stand-in therapist, had hypothesised that perhaps this new need they had for each other could cause some toxic co-dependency issues.

He wasn't just looking out for her, and keeping her sane when he held her hand all day, refusing to let it go, he was also tethering himself to his own sanity. Unable to forget the emotional trauma inflicted upon him when they'd been apart.

He'd had nothing to do with his days but stew in all the possible scenarios Taiya could be in.

Whilst Taiya was also tormented by the thought of what could have happened to him after the arena blew up, she'd also had a lot of distractors going on around her. Being told he was dead whilst listening to her friends and family squawk at her through jabberjay voices had kept her mind relatively occupied, and she'd known he was at least free from the Capitol.

But he'd been tortured in a different way. He's been tortured by his own mind.

But what hurt most was that Taiya hadn't been honest with him. She'd told him about the lizard mutt that Snow had locked her in a room with, she'd told him about the voices that would permeate her brain relentlessly, and she'd told him about her visits with Romulus. She'd told him about listening to Johanna and Peeta's screams.

But she hadn't told him the rest.