Chapter 5: Goodbye

When Rick woke up, Michonne wasn't next to him. His attention had been caught by a white piece of paper on the dresser. It was a letter she had written.

Hey sleepyhead,

I guess you're awake if you're reading this. I didn't want to wake you up. I'll be at Sasha's for a few hours since I want to see the twins. I'm going to let them stay for an extra day. Sasha has an appointment in the morning, but Abe offered to watch them till she got back. I hope you haven't forgotten already, but my parents are coming tomorrow, and I don't want the boys around for that first clash. I should be back by nine. And in case you're hungry, I left dinner on the stove, so please eat something. Also, Lori called you, and no, I didn't answer. After everything that happened, who knows? Talking might do some good.

Yours truly,

Chonne

Rick put the note back where he found it, only to pick up his phone to go through it. He saw eight missed calls from Lori. His mind flashed to Judith. Memories danced on the precipice of his thoughts, teetering between cherished moments and painful reminders, threading a delicate line between solace and sorrow. He stood up and walked to the mirror, looking at himself for almost three minutes. He saw a stranger, eyes hollow and listless, the sparkle of life extinguished, replaced by the vacant gaze of nothing. He grabbed the phone to call Lori back.

[Rick, Hello.]

[Why did you call me?]

[I wanted us to talk... Just me and you. I'm in Atlanta…I came hoping you'd meet with me at the restaurant we celebrated our sixth anniversary. Do you remember that?]

[I'll meet you.]

Rick cut her off before he heard the rest of what she had to say. He ate and went to get ready.

…

Entering the restaurant, he saw her sitting in the Centre. He didn't understand why she chose this place, and he didn't want to understand. He told the waiter who he came to meet, and they escorted him to the table.

"Hi, Rick…"

"Good evening."

"Did you come from work?"

"I'm on paid leave."

A heavy fog enveloped her mind, shrouding her thoughts in a grey haze. Not wanting her face to betray her, she wore a gentle smile.

"This place hasn't changed a bit, Don't you think so? I already ordered for us."

"I didn't come here to reminisce, Lori. Let's cut to the chase."

She traced invisible patterns on the tablecloth, a nervous tic that betrayed her anxious anticipation, her mind racing with scenarios of what could go wrong.

"I wasn't a good wife nor you good husband… You're a good man, but you weren't a good husband. But I loved you all the same."

"I could have done better. I know that, but when it came to my children, I really did give my all."

"You are a good father, Rick. A damn great one at that."

"Then why did you destroy our family?"

She took a couple of seconds before answering.

"You know, I was happy when we got married. You were the love of my life, you still are. You were kind, helpful, duty-driven, patient, understanding, and unconfrontational. Ain't every day you meet a man like that. And here you were in front of me, ready to walk side by side, even though that meant never speaking to your mother again."

Her smile became a mere facade, a fragile mask she wore to conceal the bitterness that threatened to consume her, the shadows of her depression dancing beneath her eyes. The waiter brought their meals, placing them on the table. She took a sip of her wine before continuing.

"It comes in threes. That's what my mother told me right after we got married. Three, six, nine, twelve, so on and so on. It was the day of our sixth anniversary in this restaurant at this very table, I realised that everything I loved about you when we first got married was everything I hated about you now."

Rick said nothing. His hands slid down his cheeks, pulling his eyes and lips down with them. He stared right through her, chin propped on his hand wearily. Unexpectedly, he felt calm, his temper nowhere in sight. Maybe it was the adrenaline of the back-and-forth dying out, leaving him exhausted. He simply waited for her to go on.

"We didn't have much money, and Carl was so young. It was the first time in three years that you planned something for just the two of us, and you were an hour late like you usually were. When you came rushing in here, I already knew... Someone needed help, or you got caught up in a case. It was always something with your hero complex... The thing about marrying a kind, helpful, duty-driven, patient, understanding, and unconfrontational man is that he isn't only that way towards you."

They watched the world drift by, not truly seeing anything. The space under her eyes had darkened into sickly purple shadows; she still went on, however.

"Throughout our relationship, everyone seemed to have your time but me. We were together, but it barely felt that way. If I messed up, you would let it go or justify it, almost like I wasn't worth getting mad at."

"I didn't know arguing over things that don't matter was part of being married, Lori."

"It's something every normal couple does, Rick. After that sixth year, I realised I held the title of your wife, but I didn't feel like your wife. It was as if we were just going through the motions."

"You should have talked to me."

"And say what? You work too much; you don't show me enough attention; you don't fight with me like real husbands and wives do... I know how it sounds. Trust me, I know."

"So having an affair with my best friend was the next best thing."

"I felt so lonely. At that point, I think we both realised that our marriage was hanging on a string… Shane had come by our house to see if you were there, but you were with Daryl for some reason. I remembered you took Carl with you, so it was probably hunting or something... I took the opportunity to talk to Shane. I wanted to know if you talked about us and if you did what you said. Then we talked about everything… He understood me, and then one thing led to another… He made me feel good, and I wanted to feel good; I needed to."

She let out a weary sigh, a sound heavy with the weight of accumulated exhaustion, as if the burden of weariness had found its voice in her breath.

Rick gazed at her intently. His expression turned brisk and businesslike. Holding his breath, leaning back, and letting his eyes slowly close, he regulated his emotions.

"Don't stop now; Go on."

"The year when I got pregnant with Judy, did you really not notice? I thought you would notice for sure. I mean, we had sex. What— Once or twice around that month?"

"No."

"I was so scared; I was gonna tell you, but you were so happy, and things between us started changing. So I ended things with Shane."

"Oh, you ended things? I guess I'm gonna have to be thankful that you ended things."

A cold wave of dread washed over her, and she could not bear to lift her head and meet the eyes of her estranged husband.

"When you found out, I thought you were gonna kill me, but you stayed. And when you found out about Judith, I was thankful. I need you to know that."

"I didn't do it for you."

"I know, but you stopped doing it for them too."

"What'd you mean by that, Lori?"

"When did your little affair start?"

"Michonne was never a mistress."

"You hid your relationship for almost a year, and we are still married. She is a mistress, no matter how you twist it."

Eyes venomous, piercing her soul, Rick shot her a glare, filled with a cloud of warning that settled on his face. He pinched the bridge of his nose, and he stretched his neck from side to side before calming and returning to the conversion.

"I told you that I'd stay if Judith was mine. I tried to push everything away and deal with it and I couldn't. I couldn't, and I was just... I hate you with every fibre of my being. I felt lost… Chonne, she's so much more than some mistress; God sent her to me, and honestly, she deserves better than she got... I met the love of my life over four years ago, around that time I told you words I didn't mean. And she gave me two beautiful boys, which God knows I don't deserve. I wanted a divorce because it hurt to stay with you, and those three deserved more than second place, even now."

"Wow."

"You wanted honesty; let's talk honesty. Ain't that what we been doing?"

"Hmm. I knew you were with someone else, but I couldn't prove it. I thought it was just a fling, you throwing a tantrum, but you keep asking for a DNA test. When you got shot, I knew how much I still loved you and couldn't leave you. I knew I had to keep our family together, that I wasn't ready to lose my husband, that my children weren't ready to lose their father. I was determined, ready to be by your side, but I saw her there… I understand, but you didn't have to get her pregnant. I feel like you did it to one-up me. Like you were punishing me, you been punishing me!"

Lori had gotten the attention of the nearby patrons with her last statement. She squeezed her eyes, trying to force the tears from their edges so she could be done with them. Her face was a mask of resignation, a facade that concealed the raw ache of her sadness, her true emotions hidden beneath a carefully crafted veneer.

"Punishing you. You felt like I was punishing you?" His huge blue eyes gave her a predatory look.

"You said that she was the love of your life. So what was I? You cut off your mother for me… Are you telling me everything you did and said wasn't to spite me?"

"Lori I'm not gonna say you were a mistake; after all, you gave me Carl and Judith, if only for a time. I did love you at a point, but in the grand scheme of things, you're a stepping stone. You were that the moment I met Michonne, even if I didn't know it yet."

"Is there really no going back? Is our family really gone? I still love you, Rick."

"No… We can't go back; we've both taken different paths. We both need to let go… On my way here, I had a lot of time to think. I'm not gonna fight you or Shane. I've got three boys that need me, that deserve all of me. I love her, and if in the future she still wants me in her life, I will be there. I've been fighting for so long, I can't do it again. I can't put my family through that again, and I won't."

They stared at each other until the laughter of the pair reared a hollow echo, a reminder of the joy they once knew. Still, they now seemed impossibly out of reach, as if happiness were a foreign language they could no longer comprehend when it came to their current relationship.

"Goodbye, Lori."

"Goodbye, Rick."

When Rick got up, he didn't turn back to look at his soon-to-be ex-wife. He simply paid the bill and left. By the time he got back to the villa, Michonne was there, surprisingly.

I thought she said nine.

"Hey…"

"Hello, cowboy." Her eyes shone with gentle, serene happiness, a tranquil glow that emanated from within.

"You said nine. What happened? Not that I'm complaining."

"Something told me you took my advice. I wanted to be here when you came home… So how did it go?"

Michonne patted her lap, indicating that he come and lie down on the couch. As he did, she stoked his hair.

"It went better than I thought. I think we're both just tired."

"What did you talk about?"

"Everything… From the beginning to the end. It felt good. I feel…Light."

"Things are going to get better from here. I know it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

…

Michonne made it a point to get up an hour earlier than normal. She needed to make sure everything was in order for her parents' arrival that evening. She made a point of cleaning her always-clean house, beginning with the guest bedroom and working her way through the rest. Afterwards went grocery shopping with Rick to stock up on pantry reserves. She made sure to buy a lot of lamb meat and his favourite wine, a Woodward Canyon Sauvignon, because her father was particular, and when they came home at 5:00 p.m., she began cooking.

"I could pick 'em up."

"Rick, I can't do that to you. When they get here, I'll just tell them we had an important something; I'll come up with it when they get here. Knowing my father, they'll be here in ten minutes, so 6:30 on the dot."

"Mhmm…Need any help in here, though?"

"Nope, I'm almost done. The lamb needs like eight minutes in the oven, and I'll be finished with lamb sauce in five, so..."

"Your dad…"

"Don't challenge him; it'll be worse."

Rick was about to answer when they heard a buzz from the gate.

"Oh shit, that's them. I told Mummy the code; she forgot already?"

Michonne made her way to the pad to open the gates, then walked out the door with Rick at her heels. He stopped her

"Did you forget that your sauce? I'll go."

"Oh, alright. Be good?"

He was about to go to the driveway when he was greeted by the voice of an older man.

"I didn't expect you to be here, Richard. I thought you would be with your wife."

"Reynard… How are you?"

"Straining, waiting for you to take these suitcases. Be careful with Marie's, lest you break something. Where's my daughter?"

"Chonne's in the kitchen. She wanted to cook for both of you. Marie, I was beginning to wonder!"

Rick much preferred engaging with his soon-to-be mother-in-law, even though he was sure she was borderline insane. She gave him a warm hug and kissed him on the cheek.

"Oh, Richy! I had a call. Look how handsome you are every time I see you. Si beau! Si beau!"

"It's lovely to see you too. Come on, let's go inside. I'm sure you're hungry."

…

Marie Nadege Lefevre, a Franco-Haitian woman born to a French father and a Haitian mother. Her father, André Jacques Lefevre, built his fortune from the ground up with blood, sweat, and tears at a time when it was hard for a man of his background to have many opportunities. When he'd reached the height of his success at the age of sixty, he met his wife, Margaret Rosena Toussaint, a thirty-five-year-old painter who he was a faithful fan of. The couple married within five months of courting each other and had Marie eight months later. André spoiled Marie rotten. She was his only child, and he believed that with all his hard work, his daughter should have what she wanted when she wanted it. If not for Margaret, Marie would probably be an entitled and insufferable person. It also helped that she was naturally warm, kind, and loving, with an outgoing personality.

"Oh, Amélie, dinner was lovely. By the way, where are the boys?"

Marie couldn't stop grinning; her smile was infectious and genuine, as if happiness had become a permanent resident on her face, an expression that invited others to share in her joy.

"Thank you, Mommy. They're with Sasha." Michonne turned to Reynard "Dad, Sasha said she wanted to take you out tomorrow for some uncle and niece time."

Reynard, who'd been eyeing Rick all dinner, led his gaze to his daughter.

"Why does this feel like a ploy between you and that troublesome child? Are you afraid of something, Amélie?"

She wiped her sweaty palms on her trousers, her nerves betraying her in tiny droplets of perspiration, a visible sign of her inner unease.

"Of course not." her smile was forced as she attempted to hide her nerves "It's just that you haven't seen her in almost a year. Her Noah's gotten big too."

"That's true. I want to see Abraham as well. He's a good man, that one. Your cousin made a wise choice. No other wife, because she's the wife, and no other children. Only my daughter was foolish enough to open her legs to a married man with two kids, one of whom he's not even sure about."

Reynard, stop!" Marie begged him.

"Not only did she openly become a mistress, but she also got pregnant. I have been more than fair to this Godless behaviour, this shamelessness, but you're pregnant again!"

Rick was ready to exchange words with the man when Reynard's final piece of his verbal onslaught caught him off guard. As he stared at Michonne, his already huge eyes expanded into massive circles. Her demeanour was deceptively controlled, her surprise revealed by a quick gasp. She sat transfixed, grasping her partner's shirt and pulling it until it was irreversibly stretched. Marie bit her bottom lip, buried in thoughts of severe ramifications for her.

She had promised Michonne she would tell her father since she was looking for the best time to inform Rick. She would always tell her husband anything, but if her daughter asked her to keep something between them, she did, but Reynard had happened to overhear their discussion. Looking at her child, she could see the embarrassment of her father's words and the shock creeping in. She also knew her husband wasn't done. The person he wanted to hurt wasn't Michonne, but Rick.

"You never think these things through, Amélie. A third child, Amélie? Really, For a man who is still legally married? What the hell does he have to offer? You lowered your panties for a man that can't even give you all of himself, a man with nothing to offer other than a pretty face and babies! Babies! Michonne Amélie Elodie Hawthorne, what did I teach you?"

Her eyes were wide and tear-filled. She bit her lower lip until it bled, the metallic taste a stark reminder of her terror, as if the agony provided a brief reprieve from the crushing panic that threatened to devour her.

"Do not cry; I have given you no reason to cry, Amélie. Now, what did I teach you?"