Chapter 6-Daddy Issues

This kind of serves as a trigger warning for people who have experienced emotional abuse.

Michonne didn't answer Reynard as fast as he would have liked. She withdrew from Rick's touch and swallowed hard, looking down, locked in a cycle of self-doubt.

"Michonne-"

"Amélie. Go on…"

Reynard cut Rick off, keeping his cold, dead gaze on his daughter. His voice was stern but soft. Her jaw trembled, making it hard to speak. She was wringing her hands under the table, trying to regain her composure.

"To be better-"

"I can't hear you, Amélie."

"To be better… I have to be better. Don't make foolish mistakes, and give people room to talk. If I can't honour you, do not shame you."

"Reynard, please." Marie pleaded to her husband.

"You disappoint me, dearest." He placed his arm on the table and rubbed the crown of his head, as if to tell her he was fed up with her nonsense. He went on, however.

"Did I not give everything that others less fortunate than yourself would kill for? You went to the best schools, wore the best clothes, ate the best food... But most importantly, I taught you values. I taught you to work hard, to strive for greatness, to respect yourself... You are a woman and you are black, I made sure you never forgot that… I made sure you were the best, that you were number one in all your endeavours... Let me ask you this, Dearest. When was the last time you practised, hmm?"

"I take cases here and there!" Her voice rose hysterically.

"Watch your tone with me, girl." His icy stare bore into her. "You have not practised in three months, and three months prior to that... Can't find the time to take a case, but all the time to get pregnant... You can't pay your bills by taking a case every three months… Living off your trust fund, no doubt."

"What? Do you want to cut me off?" She let out a lengthy sigh, stretching her right hand out on the dining table, not looking at her father's emotionless face.

"No, nor would it be my place. If I had my way, you wouldn't have had it in the first place, but alas, your mother will always have her way, even if it means to undermine me and spoil you... I have been the best father I could be. While your mother wanted to be your friend, I worked tirelessly and thanklessly to ensure you were the best version of yourself… I remember the first time you became valedictorian. You were four, and you came running, yelling, 'Daddy! Daddy, look!'. You were so proud of yourself, and I was proud of you." He had the slightest smile as he reminisced.

"It was that day I knew you were destined to be even better than me... Yet here you are. It hurts me to see you settle into this ball of mediocrity. How very disappointing."

Her self-esteem began to collapse like a brittle sandcastle, damaged by the never-ending waves of negative thoughts crashing on the shores of her mind. Michonne let out a hollow laugh, and the tears she'd managed to hold back threatened to flow once more. She refused to cry in front of him for a second time, and she shot up from the table without saying anything, heading upstairs to her bedroom.

"Sweetheart, wait!" Marie rushed to meet her daughter.

Rick knew he should have gone after Michonne, but he had some choice words for the man before him. His muscles flicked angrily in the jaw, and his eyes gleamed with ruthless fire. Reynard challenged his gaze, smiling maliciously.

"Say what you want to say, boy." Reynard popped another bottle of wine open and poured himself a glass.

"Do you get off on hurting your daughter?"

"What? Of course not." His brows shot up at the insinuation. "If anything, she gets off on going against me. You aren't the first; she did it with Mike as well, but she understood eventually. With a bit of tough love to push her, she'll come around; my Amélie always does."

His voice was much calmer with Rick, as if he wasn't worth any extra energy. He tossed his wine around in the glass before taking a sip.

"But I have to say, Richard, Michael was a doctor; he had no children nor any long-winded drama or anger issues; however, I knew he wasn't good enough—not for my daughter. He was weak, complacent, and selfish. Even when she accepted his proposal, I knew that she knew, it would never work. She was only twenty-two; she was driven, intelligent, and kind, with a deep love for life. My Amélie was destined for greatness, and she still is. Which confuses me as to why she chose you of all people. It's been more than four years. It worries me that she might actually be serious about this long term."

Rick blinked quickly, trying to grasp the incredible scene in front of him, his mind attempting to reconcile reality with the shock.

"You're not serious, are you? It ain't crossed your mind that we might actually love each other. I love her, she loves me. We're gonna get married. We got two children together. Thank you for delivering the news about the third, by the way."

"You're very welcome, Richard. I think it's a testament to your relationship that my daughter didn't tell you. Everything isn't all dandy, as you say."

"You're saying that she doesn't love me?"

"No! No! My daughter doesn't have a callous bone in her body. I'm sure her feelings for you are genuine, no matter how fleeting they are. What I am saying is that there must be a reason she hasn't told you; she's three months along, as I understand it to be. You didn't even realise. You say you love my daughter, but I don't believe that. I don't think she believes it either."

Reynard relished the simple excitement of living, savouring each sip of wine. It was as though his senses were heightened by his enjoyment. He couldn't stop smiling; his smile was dangerous but genuine, as if happiness had taken up residence on his face. Rick's face flushed bright red. He smashed his hand against the table, the piercing crackling echoing throughout the room, scattering pieces of broken glass and the remnants of his rage.

"I love Michonne; I'm in love with her whether you like it or not! She knows that!"

"If you loved her, you would have waited until you had your divorce instead of making her a glorified mistress. You wouldn't have gotten her pregnant out of wedlock. How much has my Amélie sacrificed for you?"

Rick paced towards Reynard, the force of his footsteps a testament to the restless anger coursing through his veins. His finger pointed directly into Reynard's face as he cornered him. The older man smirked as he poured more wine into his glass and slanted back into his seat.

"What the hell do you know? You don't want her happy! You're gonna make it seem like you want what's best for her; it's all bullshit! You just want to control her. You're gonna sit here and act like you care, but the truth is, you don't like that you're losing control. It ain't sitting right with you that someone else got influence over her!"

Reynard nodded enthusiastically, and his eyes grew wide with excitement as Rick invaded his space. He turned to meet his angry gaze.

"You said all of that just to ignore my question... Richard, I think that part of you knows..."

"What?"

"That part of you knows that you're not good enough for my little girl. Part of you doubts the sanctity of your relationship. Part of you is afraid that one day she's going to realise that you're not worth it."

Rick stumbled back, briefly losing his footing, his body recoiling as if struck by an invisible force by the unexpected allegation levelled at him. As a prolonged moment of silence took hold, his breath stopped, caught in his throat. He looked at the man, trying to find the right words, before turning on his heel and walking up the stairs to his and Michonne's bedroom. Outside the door, he could hear two women talking in French. He didn't bother to knock before he entered.

"Ah, tu es là, Richard! I'll go clean up downstairs." She kissed his cheek. "Amélie, prends ton temps. D'accord? Je t'aime." She gave her child one last look.

And with that, Marie left, giving the couple their space. Rick walked to Michonne, whose eyes were red and puffy. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't maintain eye contact. She rubbed the backs of her crossed arms gently.

"We need to talk, Michonne."

"Do we have to do this right now?"

"The baby thing? Yes! Yes, we do." His voice had dropped an octave and was gritty.

"What do you want me to say, Rick?"

"How about you start with how long you've known, Chonne?"

"A little over a month..."

"A little over a month. And you didn't think that I should know we're gonna have another baby? I should've known! I should've been the first one to know!"

"I had my reasons, Rick! You know I did…"

"And yet it's those reasons that concerns me! You made an active choice to hide your pregnancy from me for reasons I can't even begin to comprehend… Your mother knows, and your father knows enough that he can throw it in our fucking faces! Let me guess: Sasha knows as well, which would make me the last to know. Ain't that just fucking something?"

"I didn't tell you because of everything going on. Lori, Judith, and the stress of everything else! You had so much on your plate. I was waiting for the right time."

"And when was the right time, hmm?"

"Rick…"

She couldn't answer, nor did he want her to. She reached out to grab his arm, but he pulled away from her, and her shoulders slumped. The room felt suffocating; the air was heavy with an oppressive sadness that clung to every corner.

"The truth is, you don't trust me to be man enough and deal with my shit. Like I'm a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. I see it in how you treat me when I deal with other people. I know I got my issues, but you got no right like I'm some broken toy. Part of you agrees with your father-"

"That's not true!"

"We both know it's true! You've never defended me in front of your father. Not once."

He rubbed his hand over his face after watching a tear fall from Michonne's eyes. She held his hand.

"Rick, baby, I don't want to fight."

"I don't wanna fight either. I don't wanna say something I can't take back, so I'm gonna go."

"Where? Baby, it's late!"

"Daryl's"

"That's an hour's drive-"

"I know. I'm a grown man… Look, I ain't gonna go on some rave, okay? This thing, with your father and the baby, I just need time to get my thoughts straight."

He took his phone, his baseball cap, and his jacket and left. Michonne sat on her bed and hugged her knees to her chest, rocking back and forth, seeking solace in the rhythm of her own desolation as she thought of all that happened tonight.

…

"Hey, man. You didn't call."

"You got someone coming over or something."

"No. What's going on? Trouble in paradise?"

"My father-in-law's in town. Let's just say we had an oh-so-colourful dinner…"

Rick threw himself on the couch, putting his arm over his face to cover his eyes from the light. Daryl went to the kitchen to grab two beers to join him.

"Michonne's pregnant. Found out tonight."

"What? You ain't want it?"

"That ain't the problem. Her father is the one who let the cat out the bag. She hid it."

"She ain't want it?"

"It's not that... I know she thinks I can't handle another kid. And not just another kid; she doesn't think me reliable at all. She's gonna start showing soon. How long was she gonna hide it for?"

"She said that?"

"No, but I know it."

"Rick-"

"If we didn't have the boys, I got no doubt she would have left me a long time ago. I know it."

"Rick, that girl loves you."

"Yeah. Well, love ain't everything; you, of all people, should know that."

"Leah and Michonne ain't the same. Come on, Rick. You ain't exactly been the best partner, Rick. This ain't the 1950s; if she wanted to leave, trust me, she would, especially if her daddy been begging her for years. Them kids ain't gonna stop shit. Stay the night; clear your head, but you're gonna go home in the morning."

"Hey, Michonne wanted to have a small get-together on Friday; you coming? It's for the weekend."

"Alright, just text me the time... And Rick, some parents, they don't got to beat you to damage you."

Daryl stood up and went to his room, leaving behind his best friend. Rick took out his wallet to retrieve a photograph from within. It was of him and Michonne with the boys at their christening. This is a special occasion for both of their families. He and Michonne weren't religious, but it was a custom shared by both of their families, which was unusual for the two. Both of their parents were in the back, bathing in the joyous atmosphere of the blessing and celebration of their children. He traced his fingers along the old photograph, a bittersweet caress that brought memories to life. His fingers lingered on its surface, as if, by touching it, he could somehow find solace within it.

…

"Bonjour Amélie. Comment vas-tu? I see Richard hasn't returned… Do you want to talk about it?"

"Morning, mummy…" Her lips pulled together into a half-formed smile.

"Darest, I spoke to your father last night... Don't take it to heart; he's a stubborn old fool. He only wants what's best for you."

"Best for me? Is insulting me and the father of my children, is what's best for me?"

"Amélie, Your father has his flaws, but he's sincere. I like Richard, but let's not act as if he had done right by you."

"Why are you entertaining the girl's foolishness? What life has she lived to be able to question me?" Reynard said, entering the kitchen.

He was wearing a maroon Ralph Lauren sweater with a grey shirt underneath and long khaki pants. He wore his glasses today, and he carried his laptop and iPad with him.

He seems to be occupied for the day. That means he'll be out of my hair for a while. Should I bring the boys back?

"Good morning, my sweet. You look handsome; you were in rare form last night."

"Is breakfast finished?"

"Oui, hungry?"

He didn't come last night; he slept out. I get he's angry, but to take that shit out on me! And he wonders why I acted the way I did. Shameless man!

"Amélie?"

I wonder what time he's coming back. We still need to talk, but that temper! Still, I'm not completely in the right either, and he honestly held it together pretty well. Then again, he never really lost his shit with me, even last night.

"Amélie!"

"What is it?"

"Did you not hear your mother calling you, girl?"

"I'm not doing this shit today." Michonne began to walk away

"What was that girl?"

"Look, I don't have the time. Rick didn't come back last night, and I can't with you right now. I'm tired of this."

"Let's not do this, you two!"

"You seem to forget yourself, Amélie." Reynard ignored Marie.

"The father of your grandchildren left late last night because of your antics; he isn't back yet... Dad, it's not fair what you're doing to my family!"

"Your family? Am I not your family? It seems being away from us for so long has rotted your brain. Even talking back to me, have you lost your mind?"

"No, I haven't!" Her words shattered into the room like shards of glass. "Do you know why the twins aren't here? I left them with Sasha because I didn't want them here with you! I have somethings to get off my chest, and you will listen."

Michonne could see her father fuming, but he remained silent, his arms crossed hard across his chest. It was as though he was waiting to see how far she'd go with her 'performance'. Sweat rivulets formed across her body, and time seemed to slow as the weight of the situation pressed on her. Under his piercing gaze, she could sense her courage wavering. She was adamant, however, knowing that if she didn't express what she wanted now, she might not get another chance. After Rick left, she thought long and hard about everything, especially Rick's words. She hardly slept last night, knowing that he was out and angry at that.

"I am an adult, capable of making my own decisions. And though they aren't always the best, they are my decisions to make." She took a deep breath. "I moved to Atlanta to be my own person. I didn't want to be attached to your name anymore; in everything I did, I had to be careful not to tarnish you because, no matter what, I was only seen as Reynard Hawthorne's daughter. 'If I can't honour you, do not shame you.' Those were the words that kept ringing in my head every single day! Every part of my life you controlled. What clothes I wore, what languages I spoke, what instruments I played, and my likes and dislikes—you even controlled who I was dating!"

"I already know you chose Michael just to go against me. You did it then, and you're doing it now. But I do not hold it against you; all children challenge their parents, and all children rebel. You carried on that charade with that buffoon for almost two years just to spite me, but in the end, you left him at the altar. I raised you, I taught you, and I made you who you were. In this world, I know you better than you know yourself. I do not hold your little outburst to heart, so quit while you are ahead, lest it stop being cute."

"I did stay with Mike to spite you, and I don't regret it."

"You don't regret it?" Reynard asked rhetorically, "Dearest, I told Richard that you didn't have a callous bone in your body; I lied. I knew that I lied because you are mine; you are my daughter, and so you are just like me... But if you must defy me, at least go all the way. In the end, you chickened out because you didn't have the gall. You picked a battle you couldn't win, and I knew you couldn't do it. You see, Amélie, you are your mother's as much as you are mine. You have her unyielding heart."

He walked up to her and took her hands in his. He had a smile on his face, which caught Michonne off guard. His ability to change emotions at the drop of a hat always left her speechless.

"Dearest, you are not experienced enough to navigate the world on your own. I have no doubt that you love Richard; however, just like with Mike, I know this will not work. You think you do as well, since there are feelings involved, but I know better. Have I ever been wrong in the past? You tried it before, but in the end, you walked away like I said you should. Dearest, you are stubborn; you got that from me. What I do is to ensure that your bullheaded nature does not lead you astray."

He softly tapped her palms, as if to offer her comfort. When she looked at her father, she was met with that expression. He was smiling, but he had that expression on his face. That very look had haunted her throughout her life. That empty, piercing look probed her soul; what it was searching for, she didn't know. She was looking around his face, as if the shell in front of her was hiding a monster. A firm lump bound her neck, making breathing difficult.

She grew extremely cold and jerked her outstretched hands back, afraid to let him touch them.

"I'm glad you know I love him. This isn't some short-term thing. He's the one I want. I knew that the first day I laid my eyes on him. I didn't care about the consequences then, and I don't care now. I don't care what anyone has to say! Am I a bad person? Yeah! Maybe! I met a married man with two children. I wanted him, I got him, and I don't regret any of it! I love him! I love him! I love him! And I'm going to marry him! And we're going to have another baby! And I don't care what you or her have to say about it!"

Her heart was racing, and her breath was ragged in her throat. It was the first time she denounced her parents. She spoke so quickly that it almost became hard to tell what was said. The face that had held a smile now showed nothing. Not anger or disgust; it was now just expressionless. He walked even closer, barely giving her any room to breathe. Marie, who stood silently the entire time, felt a presence other than theirs. She looked towards the entrance of the kitchen.

"Michonne…"

"Rick, you're back…"

He walked to her and took her hand to leave, not paying any mind to the people in the kitchen.

"Where are we going?"

"Away from here…We're gonna have to talk, right?"

"Yeah…"

…

The couple sat on the park bench, taking in the breeze. A radiant smile swept across their faces, and their eyes glowed with electrifying excitement.

It feels good to be away from everything. It feels freeing.

After last night and this morning, this was a welcomed change of pace for Michonne, and she suspected the same for Rick as well. She turned to look at him, only to find him staring at her with eyes much calmer than they were last night.

"Rick I—"

"I'm sorry, I—"

They laughed a bit, understanding what the other was going to say. Michonne blocked her giggle and said,

"You go first."

"Okay… Chonne I'm sorry about how I left last night. I just didn't want to say the wrong thing…I understand why you didn't say anything; I do. I know I ain't exactly in the best place mentally, and I know your father; he doesn't exactly make it any easier." He smiled sadly.

"What you said last night, about me not defending you... You were right. I just—things with my dad are so complicated; I don't even know how to explain it!"

Rick clasped their hands together, pulling her to him.

"Sometimes parents don't got to hit their kids to damage 'em; Daryl told me that… He may have raised you and cared about you, but that man isn't a good father; it's time you stop acting like he is." He pulled her hand to his lips. "I thought about our family all last night, and I want us all to work. I need us all to work, but if he can't be better, I'm sorry, baby; I don't need him around my kids or us... I overheard what you told him; in fact, I was eavesdropping a while before I entered the room. Does that make you mad?"

"Kind of, but I'll get over it." He chuckled at her.

"Darling, you are enough. I need you to know that."

Her lips trembled as she tried to stop the overwhelming emotion. She managed to form a slight smile that gave way to what she was trying to overcome, although one couldn't tell by looking at her face that both her hands, even the one he held, were shaking.

"What I said—didn't it change what you thought about me? How you see me?"

"No, sweetheart, it doesn't. If anything, I'm relieved; you were too perfect, and you still are to me. You have the right to be selfish; ain't nothing wrong with that. Everyone makes mistakes. I've done made a whole lot; it's a wonder you're still with me. I've said it before: what happened with Mike wasn't great, but you saved him and yourself from what was gonna be a terrible marriage... You're not a bad person for wanting to live for yourself—as yourself."

"I think most people would disagree with everything I've done to this point."

"You don't need to care about everyone else. We just have to care about each other and be the best that we can be for our children…Chonnie, you're not some homewrecker either; we both made a choice, and my marriage had no saving to be had... I was happy with what you said to your old man. Not just because you stood up to him, but hear that you truly want to be with me despite how messed up I am or everything with Lori or that we got kids; that you want me."

"You are messed up, but so am I. The truth is, you're getting better. You were a good man before me and Lori, and you're a good man after, but I'm—what I've got, there's no fixing that."

He wiped her tears from her cheeks, tracing his fingertips along her bottom lashes. As she buried her face in the flesh of his neck, he wrapped her in his warm embrace and tenderly kissed the top of her head. She had managed to deceive him for so long while suffering so much.

Four years, and I didn't know. You deserve better.

"Next week, I want you to join me in my sessions with Dr. Job. Okay? I won't take no for an answer."

"Okay."

"We're gonna be just fine, darling. I know it, and if we're not, we'll make it work. Not just for us, but for our family. It ain't gonna be easy; we'll do it though, and we'll be strong for each other. From now on, we live how we choose."

"I love you..."

"I love you more. "

The pair was in a better emotional state after having a fully open discussion. They picked up the boys and decided to spend the remainder of the day having fun as a family. When they got back home, they fully expected an argument between the two sides; however, they kept their words limited. Rick suspected it had to do with the twins being present. The same happened the next day as well.

…

Friday evening came quickly. Michonne, Rick and Sasha had rented out a guest house for the weekend, where Maggie, Daryl and a few others were present. They were going to bring the kids, but Marie had offered to babysit them. It was a peace offering, no matter how temporary it was Rick and Michonne agreed. Maggie rode with them.

When they got there, Sasha, Daryl and Michonne's friend, Rosita, were already there, along with Rick's friends Carol and Morgan, who would arrive the following day. Michonne and Maggie hopped out of the car, leaving Rick to bring the bags in. Daryl, who was smoking outside, went to help his friend. Sasha and Rosita, hearing the car, came out to see.

"Heyyyy bitchessss!" Sasha yelled at the top of her lungs.

Michonne and Maggie hugged everybody around them, their passionate actions a tribute to the overwhelming happiness that flowed from their spirit. Their laughter resonated like bells in the air, a melody of pure delight that raised everybody's mood.

"Where's Abe?"

"He's staying with Noah till his sister comes to take over tomorrow. Until then, I'm free whores!" She laughed, pushing out her tongue. She already had a shot in her hand.

"How much have you had to drink?"

"She has six shots!" Rosita made it known before Sasha could lie.

"We're here for a break from life; what the hell did you expect? Come drink with me!"

"I can't." Maggie shut her down

"Chonne can't either."

"What?"

Everybody other than Michonne and Daryl watched Rick as he took the last bag to head inside, confused as to why he was speaking for her. Maggie looked at Michonne while the rest fluctuated between the duo, putting two and two together."

"Noooo…" Rosita covered her mouth.

"You guys got knocked up again! Whatever bug you two have, you better keep it to yourselves! I'm not playing!"

"Would that be so bad?"

"Shhh, Mags; he may not be here, but he might hear you. He's been begging for a girl!"

The air ignited with an electric charge, such that everyone in attendance swirled with eagerness for what was to come, infusing the occasion with an irresistible energy.

"Guys, come inside!" Rick called out to the girls.

…

…

…

Author's note

This chapter was kind of hard to write (I had to take breaks) because Reynard is a combination of elders I have had in my life, including my parents and grandparents. A bit exaggerated since this is a story, but it is realistic to what I have experienced. I think minorities Black, Asian, Latino, etc... can somewhat relate to the toxic need of the 'You have to be twice as good as them' mentality and that everyone, regardless of background, has an elder in their life that hurt them even if they didn't mean to. I also think Reynard sees Michonne as an extension of himself and sees her as something to mould. I wanted to do the entire get-together but I needed to end this chapter on a lighter note, mostly for myself.