Four

Mothwing had never believed in StarClan until the day of the battle. She used to think it was just a story made up to scare kits into submission. When the battle started, she saw dark figures leaping in and out of the shadows. At first she thought she was hallucinating, until the screeches of pain started. That was when reality crashed over her like a cold wave. She had to think fast and fight alongside her Clanmates, though it wasn't enough to save them. Leopardstar had already been on her last life at the time, and it didn't take much for her to fall at the claws of their enemies. Mistyfoot soon followed, along with every other cat in the Clan.

It took a while for the dust to settle around them. Blood roared in her ears as she struggled to stand from sheer exhaustion. By the time she was able to see and think clearly, she saw the horrors of that battle. Bodies littered the clearing. Some had drowned in the lake trying to flee their enemies. Blood stained the ground where she stood, the stench causing her fur to stand on end with horror.

It was only then that she finally understood the weight of her role as a medicine cat. Maybe if she had believed in StarClan, she could have gotten a proper warning. Maybe this mess could have been avoided if she listened to Leafpool. It was too late for regrets though. The loss weighed down on her heavily as she slunk around the clearing to figure out where to go from there.

What she didn't expect to find was a survivor amongst the death. Hope swelled within her when she found Minnowtail alive and well. The dark gray queen had been crouched over her tiny bundle of kits. She fought with the ferocity of a queen, ensuring that they survived the fight. She was covered in scratches and other wounds, but she was alive. At least one of her Clanmates survived this battle.

Now she had the daunting task of looking after the survivors of the battle. She hadn't realized that cats from other Clans survived as well. She was relieved to find that Hollyleaf, Dovewing and Tigerheart were still alive. In spite of her earlier misgivings, the other Clan cats seemed to be okay. Well, aside from Dovewing.

Mothwing understood exactly what Dovewing was experiencing. She knew what it was like to grieve over the loss of family. While she and Hawkfrost had never been close after he admitted that he faked her sign to ensure a role as medicine cat, she still grieved over his loss. Tadpole's death hit her the hardest. They had been so young at the time, and reckless. That recklessness cost Tadpole his life, and she still lived with that regret to this day.

She let out a heavy sigh as she found herself checking the herb store.

There were so many problems now that only one medicine cat could handle. On top of it, the others agreed to let her take the lead since she was the oldest cat there. She had no idea what she was doing. She was never meant to lead the Clans or even become a medicine cat. That was all Hawkfrost's doing. Her tail lashed with annoyance at the thought of being leader material.

"Mothwing." She nearly leaped out of her fur when a voice cut through the comfortable silence. Mothwing whipped around in time to see that no cat was around. She blinked a few times in confusion. "Mothwing, relax… I'm just grateful that you're able to see me now."

Her eyes widened in surprise when the faded image of a cat appeared before her. The cat itself looked incredibly familiar. The only main difference was the fact that their fur was coated with starlight, giving them a brilliant sheen.

"Leopardstar?" she asked in surprise. "I… I didn't expect to see you again."

Shame crawled through her at the thought of not being able to process what other medicine cats could. She was still struggling to comprehend the fact that StarClan existed in the first place. All those moons of not believing were thrown to the side the moment that battle occurred. She had a feeling that Leopardstar had known at the time. The older leader never pointed it out though, much to her surprise and relief.

She would have likely felt incredibly embarrassed that her own medicine cat didn't believe in StarClan. After all, StarClan was sacred to the Clans, much like the warrior code. Mothwing looked down at her paws guiltily as she found herself wondering what was running through Leopardstar's mind in that moment.

"Considering what has happened, I can't say that I blame you," Leopardstar replied with a shake of her head. Mothwing tilted her head to one side when Leopardstar gestured for her to follow with a wave of her tail. "StarClan approved the idea of letting the Clans merge into one. For now, it is the safest route." The former leader led the way into the clearing where the other cats were resting. "Don't worry, they can't see either of us."

Mothwing couldn't help but gape at the prospect of not being seen. Then she noticed that her paws were faded as well.

"Why are we here?" she asked warily.

Leopardstar looked at her in amusement before glancing towards the small group of cats. Smoky and Floss were sitting apart from the others, whispering to one another. Minnowtail hadn't left the nursery since the kittypets arrived, having complained about their stench. Not that Mothwing couldn't blame her for feeling so wary around them.

"You will need guidance to help these cats cope with their loss," Leopardstar explained. "You will also need to choose a leader who can help guide them."

"They asked me to lead them," she admitted guiltily. "I'm not leader material… I can barely handle being a medicine cat let alone lead an entire Clan."

The dappled she-cat purred in amusement once more, "Mothwing, you have always been a capable medicine cat. You only doubt your skills because your brother was foolish enough to betray you. The Clan already has a chosen leader… she just doesn't know it yet."

Mothwing followed her gaze, eyes widening in surprise when she realized Leopardstar was pointing her muzzle towards Dovewing.

The gray she–cat hadn't left her position beside Tigerheart. Mothwing knew the two were close, probably before this battle started. Seeing them together made her realize what a good pair they were. Tigerheart cared for Dovewing in a way that left her heart longing for something similar.

"She's not in any condition to lead the Clan," she deadpanned.

"Obviously not now," Leopardstar rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Give her time to grieve. In that time, she will be stronger and adapt to her role." Mothwing closed her eyes for a moment to let those words sink in. "Take care of the Clan, Mothwing. You've more than earned your role as medicine cat."

She opened her eyes in time to find herself back in the medicine cat's den. It took a few seconds for her to register the fact that that really happened. She looked around warily to find that the herb store was already organized. Or what was left of their store. She would need to collect more herbs if they wanted this Clan to work out.

She tasted the air, and to her surprise, Leopardstar's scent was still strong.

That really did just happen.

Her eyes widened once again when she realized that she had been right. The moment she started believing was when she finally saw a StarClan cat. She knew then and there that Leopardstar was right about her role.

...

It was well past sunhigh by the time Mothwing talked to Hollyleaf about what she saw. She wasn't even sure where to begin when it came to the strange vision she experienced. Or if it could be called a vision. When she mulled over the possibilities of telling anyone what she saw, she knew Hollyleaf was the right cat to talk to.

Hollyleaf once trained as a medicine cat apprentice before switching roles with Jayfeather. Mothwing hoped she didn't sound too insane when she explained what happened. Fortunately, Hollyleaf was wise beyond her years. The two of them went 'herb collecting' to discuss matters of the vision. She was grateful for the distraction, especially with the other cats in the clearing eavesdropping on them.

Ever since her injuries were treated, Hollyleaf tried making herself useful around camp. She had been forced on light duties until the wound itself looked better. Mothwing checked on it regularly to make sure that it was healing properly. Thankfully it looked as if the worst of the injury was healed. Hollyleaf still walked with a limp, but it wasn't as bad as it had been.

The biggest challenge would be to determine whether or not Hollyleaf walked with a permanent limp now.

Those kind of injuries weren't common in the Clans, but it was possible. She remembered hearing stories of a WindClan warrior known as Deadfoot who was born with a deformed paw. From what she heard, he went on to become deputy of WindClan before he retired. In spite of his disability, he didn't let that stop him from fulfilling his duties as a warrior, and she doubted Hollyleaf would either.

"She's so young," she admitted while searching for signs of goldenrod or comfrey. "I'm not sure if it's such a good idea to let a cat that young lead the Clan."

"She is rather young to lead anyone," Hollyleaf agreed with her. "But if a cat from an opposing Clan agreed that she should lead, then you know that you need to follow through with their suggestion."

Mothwing paused for a moment when she realized that Hollyleaf was right. Dovewing was a former ThunderClan cat. The last thing she anticipated was Leopardstar of all cats agreeing to that decision. There was a time when Leopardstar used to oppose anything to do with ThunderClan. She never fully understood why that was the case.

There were stories revolving around how ThunderClan always felt righteous and determined to help those in need. It often led to conflict between the other Clans, along with the reputation that ThunderClan cats were too soft to rely on. When she saw how Hollyleaf and Dovewing worked together and helped bury those bodies, she knew that wasn't true.

"When do you think we should tell them?" she asked warily.

"Sooner rather than later," the black she-cat replied. Mothwing looked at her in surprise. "The Clan is going to need the support of their medicine cat and a leader that was chosen by StarClan. It will give anyone that tries arguing less of an opportunity to do so."

She was taken aback over the idea that someone might oppose the idea of letting another cat lead. Then she thought back to Minnowtail's reaction over the kittypets being allowed in camp. She knew Minnowtail wasn't the friendliest cats in the Clan. The dark gray queen never had many friends in the Clan to begin with. She was always secretive and aloof. Her tail curled at the thought of what to do with the queen.

"Thanks again for your help," she meowed after finding a small patch of comfrey. They gathered a small bundle of goldenrod and horsetail as well. She wanted the den to be well stocked before the herbs shriveled up in the heat of greenleaf. "I'm not that great at making these decisions on my own."

Hollyleaf looked at her thoughtfully as they finished collecting what they needed.

"You used to doubt StarClan's existence, didn't you?" she asked curiously.

Guilt crawled through her as she nodded, "It wasn't until this battle that I changed my mind… it's funny how that works. I never saw or spoke to a StarClan cat until I started believing."

The black she-cat merely purred in amusement and led the way back to camp. Mothwing still had her reservations when it came to StarClan. She found it odd that she didn't see a StarClan cat until that point. She supposed it was psychological in a way, but that didn't help alleviate her confusion or her growing concern.

The sun was just beginning to set when they finally returned to the medicine cat's den. Mothwing paused in her stride when she noticed the anxious look written across Tigerheart's face. When they left earlier that sunhigh, she checked in on Dovewing. The gray she-cat seemed to be fairing well under Tigerheart's care. But when Mothwing checked on her again, she noticed how thin Dovewing was compared to the others. Her eyes widened in alarm when she realized why Tigerheart was so anxious.

"She isn't eating properly," he complained. "I tried making her eat a mouse while you and Hollyleaf were gone."

"It looks like she ate it," Mothwing meowed after noticing the lack of prey in the area.

"She threw it up shortly after."

Mothwing's fur prickled with unease as she understood the gravity of the situation.

She wanted to dismiss the thought that something else was going on. But as a medicine cat, it was her job to care for others, especially those suffering from grief. She let out a sigh and acknowledged Tigerheart's desperate plea with a nod. Someone needed to talk to Dovewing. While it wasn't the most effective method of treatment, it would help with the healing process.

Carefully she approached the younger cat, not missing the haunted look written across her face. Dovewing barely had the strength to look at her when she reached her. Mothwing couldn't help but feel sympathy for the young molly. It wasn't as if she asked for this kind of grief. She hadn't asked for the Dark Forest to attack the Clans and kill everyone they cared about.

"Why don't we go for a walk?" she suggested.

Dovewing looked at her in surprise when she finally noticed her presence. Thankfully the young warrior didn't bother arguing. Mothwing watched her carefully as she rose to her paws on trembling legs. The whole thing was pitiful at best. Dovewing wasn't deterred though. Once back on her paws, Mothwing led the way out of camp where they could talk privately.

"I know what you're going through." Dovewing blinked a couple of times when Mothwing looked at her steadily. "Grief is never something anyone should experience. We've all lost cats that we care for during that battle."

They sat by the lakeside to talk. Mothwing glanced at their reflections thoughtfully. Mudfur had done the same thing when she started showing signs of grief. He took her outside camp and to a running creek nearby where they could talk. At the time, she hadn't been thrilled with the idea of sharing her feelings to an older cat.

The old medicine cat might not have had the kindest words to share, but his speech was effective. It reminded her of the fact that she had so much to live for. That she could honor Tadpole's memory by getting stronger and fighting for the Clan. So she did just that. She trained hard to become a medicine cat that RiverClan could be proud of. While her faith in StarClan was shattered by the time she became a full medicine cat, that didn't stop her desire to help cats that needed it.

She wished Hawkfrost could have had a similar experience. She suspected that was why he went down a darker path. It didn't help that their grandfather came to him in his dreams and whispered words of encouragement, though that was a whole different topic, and it was a topic they would have to discuss sooner or later.

"I just… it feels awful knowing that I survived while they all died," Dovewing finally admitted. Mothwing's eyes widened in surprise. "I keep seeing them in my nightmares… Ivypool accuses me of fleeing when the battle started, and I can't help but wonder if she's right."

"Dovewing, you know as well as I do that circumstances kept you and the others alive," the medicine cat reminded her with a pointed look. "What you're experiencing now is survivor's guilt. Ivypool would not have wanted you starving yourself just because you survived."

The gray molly didn't look any happier with that warning. She glared down at their reflection, swiping her claws across the water.

"I hate myself for not doing more," she muttered crossly. She shook her head as droplets splashed across her face in the process. "They deserved better."

"You did more by providing them with a proper burial," Mothwing deadpanned. This time it was Dovewing's turn to look surprised. "And you can do more by providing this Clan with what they need: A proper leader." Dovewing's eyes widened with disbelief when Mothwing told her that. "The Clan will need someone who has compassion and empathy. From what I've seen, you have both of those qualities and more."

It took a few seconds for her words to sink in.

"I'm supposed to lead this Clan?" she asked in disbelief. "I can hardly take care of myself let alone lead an entire Clan. What sort of mousebrained fool came up with that idea?"

"The same mousebrained fool that once led RiverClan," Mothwing replied without missing a beat. That seemed to catch Dovewing's attention. "Leopardstar told me herself that StarClan approved. I think it's safe to say that you're the right cat for the position, whether you want to be or not." Dovewing looked even more confused as realization dawned on her. "You won't go through this on your own. I'll be there to help you, along with Hollyleaf and Tigerheart. The Clan needs a proper leader, and I have a feeling that that leader is you, Dovewing."

That didn't make her feel any happier, though at least she didn't bother arguing. Once it became clear that she would have to accept the position, Dovewing bowed her head. Mothwing hoped that she was making the right choice in sharing this news right away. She knew it would take time for everyone to adjust to their new roles. It would be difficult for Dovewing to adjust, especially after everything that happened. The best thing they could do now was hope for the best possible future, and work together to ensure that future happened.

AN: I always liked Mothwing as a character... I haven't read the newer series, but I would hope that she's still alive. And Leopardstar has redeemed herself enough times that she deserved a bit of attention as well.