Nine
Another day passed since Tigerheart and Forestpelt left to search for potential recruits. Since then, Dovestar had begun making progress in her role as leader. She met up with Hollyleaf and Mothwing to discuss ceremonies and other important aspects of being Clan leader. Her experience was growing in those areas along with training Olivepaw. She never had the chance to mentor an apprentice before, so that experience was necessary. Learning about the ceremonies was equally important. Once she had one ceremony memorized, she quickly learned another and soon had most of them memorized.
Mothwing and Hollyleaf had also become great mentors in those aspects. She knew somewhere deep down that she would have never made it this far without their help. Mothwing had the experience of a medicine cat. She was much older than the rest of them, and she also trained as a warrior apprentice before she became a medicine cat. So Dovestar relied heavily on that knowledge along with Hollyleaf's knowledge of the outside world to guide her.
Thank StarClan they're willing to share that knowledge with me, she thought guiltily.
She knew she would have made a fool of herself if it hadn't been for them. Minnowtail made that perfectly clear when the dark gray queen blatantly pointed out her mistakes.
"It's good to see you happy again." Dovestar flinched when Mothwing spoke up. She went out earlier that day with Olivepaw to practice some fighting techniques. Fortunately, Olivepaw was a quick study. It didn't take long for her to pick up on some of the techniques Lionblaze taught her mentor. "You've been down for the last couple of days since Tigerheart and Forestpelt left. I've also noticed that you aren't sleeping properly."
A knot formed in the pit of her stomach as she realized what Mothwing was implying.
Truthfully the nightmares had begun eating away at her again. She knew it wasn't fair to pin the blame on anyone. Any cat that struggled with trauma would face something similar. Even Olivepaw suffered from an occasional nightmare since she was brought into the Clan. This felt different, like a repetitive dream that never ended.
"I don't think there's ever going to be a proper way to approach that subject," she admitted guiltily. Mothwing's ears pricked forward with alarm as she let out a heavy sigh. "I keep having the same nightmare over and over again, only in this nightmare, no one survives. Everyone keeps blaming me for their deaths and the fact that I managed to survive."
She mentioned something similar before she became leader. Before the Clan held a proper vigil and buried the bodies, she suffered from numerous nightmares revolving around a similar topic. This time it felt worse because she had to face the nightmares alone. At least back then she had Tigerheart to provide some comfort.
The last thing she wanted was to mention the fact that Tigerheart had been avoiding her. She was still confused as to why he went out of his way to avoid her in the first place. But it wasn't just confusion she felt. She was also frustrated over the fact that he seemed to think that he was helping her by avoiding her.
"We talked about this before," Mothwing meowed thoughtfully. "Maybe seeing Olivepaw and hearing her story triggered those nightmares."
Dovestar flinched when she realized Mothwing might have made a valid point. The nightmares had begun to pick up ever since she started working with Olivepaw. Between overexerting herself and learning about proper ceremonies, she didn't have time to think about anything else. It didn't help that she didn't have anyone else to talk to about said nightmares. At least when Tigerheart was with her, he would provide some form of comfort.
"I'll try and get some proper rest tonight," she muttered after mulling over the possibilities.
Mothwing tipped her head in understanding, though she didn't look convinced.
"Flosspelt's kits won't be due for another few moons," the medicine cat suddenly changed the subject. "I'll have to gather more borage and burdock root before the supply runs out."
"Send Olivepaw with you to collect them," she deadpanned while glancing in the apprentice's direction. Olivepaw was lazing in the sun, stretched out with her eyes half-closed. "She could use the exercise and it might be good for her to get to know the other Clan members."
The medicine cat narrowed her eyes at the prospect of dealing with the annoying apprentice. In spite of getting along with their training, Olivepaw was still as snarky as ever. She only tolerated her training with Dovestar because she wanted to learn how to defend herself in a fight. Dovestar was well aware of the tension brewing between them. She knew sooner or later that tension would escalate into another fight, regardless of whether or not Olivepaw learned to respect Clan life.
To her relief, Mothwing didn't bother arguing and instead went over to the apprentice. She watched from a distance as Olivepaw scowled when her nap was interrupted by the older cat. Olivepaw was ready to snap when she seemed to think better of it.
Good… she knows better than to argue with a fully trained medicine cat, she thought with a roll of her eyes.
She knew Mothwing could easily take care of herself, having trained as a warrior before she became a medicine cat. She hoped that Olivepaw would learn how to get along with other cats in the Clan. She was doing her best to stay patient with Olivepaw, but there had been moments when she snapped. She shook her head at the thought, deciding that for now, Olivepaw was another problem she would have to deal with. Her lack of sleep was something she needed to take care of sooner rather than later, especially if she wanted to properly lead this Clan the way StarClan intended.
She let out a heavy sigh and returned to her den once she was sure Mothwing would be in safe paws. Hollyleaf had gone out hunting with Smoketuft guarding the camp's entrance. One cat on patrol was dangerous enough, but Hollyleaf had been on her own long enough to know how to defend herself. Dovestar knew that the Clan needed numbers now more than ever if they wanted to take care of themselves. Especially with the threat of Lightning and the Dark Forest looming over them.
...
"They're back!"
A yowl of alarm startled Dovestar from the first fitful sleep she had in days. She leaped to her paws and stared around warily before realizing that she fell asleep inside her den. She held back a sigh of frustration and made her way to the clearing to find that Smoketuft was eyeing the newcomers curiously.
Sure enough, Tigerheart and Forestpelt had returned with a small group of cats. She eyed the cats warily after noticing how young some of them were. One was a dark gray she-cat with younger cats on either side of her. Another was a young gray tabby apprentice aged cat practically bouncing around. The other two were clearly siblings, a ginger and white molly along with a dark ginger tom with piercing green eyes. Tigerheart's warm gaze finally reached her, and Dovestar averted her gaze as embarrassment swept through her along with something else.
Why would he suddenly be so concerned when he left me? she wondered angrily.
"This is the group you were talking about?" the dark gray queen rolled her eyes in exasperation as she wrapped her tail protectively around the younger cats. "They're nothing more than a ragtag group of rogues like ourselves."
"We're more than meager rogues," Minnowtail spat from the nursery's entrance.
Dovestar threw the queen a withering look before reaching the small group. It consisted of six cats total. That would certainly improve their number to an extent where they could defend themselves. She wasn't sure how Forestpelt managed to convince these cats to join them, but she was grateful nonetheless.
She had her doubts over whether or not he could be trusted. Considering he appeared out of nowhere and then lied about Olivepaw's age, she wasn't sure if she should trust him. Seeing the new group of cats that were with him and Tigerheart gave her a new sense of hope. She wanted the Clan to survive now more than ever, especially in light of recent events.
"We may seem small now, but our numbers will build once we have established ourselves," she meowed.
"Forest told us how you took him in and took care of him and Olive," the young gray tabby exclaimed with wide eyes. Dovestar looked at the younger cat in amusement, noting how enthusiastic he was in spite of his nervousness. "Is that true?"
Her ears flicked back when she heard Mothwing arguing with Olivepaw in the distance. She could tell they were on their way back, which gave her the perfect opportunity to display what it was really like to be involved with the Clan.
These cats needed to know what they were getting themselves into before they jumped to any conclusions. She didn't want them to think they were risking their lives by joining. Though the hard truth was, they were risking everything by joining the Clan. Especially with threats like Lightning and the Dark Forest out there.
"You can ask Olivepaw herself when she returns," she replied with a wave of her tail.
The young tabby's eyes widened once again as the two cats chose that moment to return. Mothwing was carrying a bundle of herbs while Olivepaw looked more than annoyed at having to do some task she wasn't comfortable with. Dovestar watched the scene unfold with amusement. The gray tabby barely gave Olivepaw the chance to recover when he nearly bawled her over with his enthusiasm.
"Get off of me you idiot!" Olivepaw scoffed in annoyance, though there was no bite in her voice like Dovestar expected. In fact, she picked up a hint of affection in Olivepaw's voice. "I'm clearly still alive, in spite of what everyone was led to believe."
"I just had to make sure that I wasn't seeing a ghost," the tabby purred in amusement. "When we found out what happened, Molly thought for sure that you and Forest didn't make it."
He shot the dark gray queen a withering look as her ears flattened in annoyance over being called out.
"Well, contrary to belief, we both made it out alive," Olivepaw rolled her eyes. "What are you doing here?"
Dovestar cleared her throat, and both young cats looked at her sheepishly. Though Olivepaw's eyes flickered with defiance as she glared back. Dovestar held back another sigh before allowing the cats to introduce themselves.
The gray tabby was known as Percy. Apparently he was also the only kit in his litter to survive Lightning's attacks. The dark gray queen was known as Molly, while her kits were known as Night and Pepper. The ginger and white she-cat was known as Ember while the dark ginger tom was known as Maroon. It didn't take a genius to figure out why.
"Right… I'm not sure if there is a proper way to go about this with so many cats," she admitted sheepishly. "In this Clan we uphold ceremonies and such to provide proper names. But since there are so many here, I will only ask that you promise to uphold the warrior code, and defend this Clan, even at the cost of your own lives."
She knew it was a heavy burden to bear. All cats looked at one another uneasily at the prospect of sacrificing their lives for cats they hardly knew. Eventually though they reluctantly agreed, though Dovestar didn't miss how hesitant Maroon was with his response. Giving them names was a difficult task enough without having the entire Clan watching her every move.
Aspen had become known as Aspencreek. Dovestar hadn't missed the deep blue within her eyes that seemed to stand out. They reminded her of the way the water along the lake's surface shimmered blue on a cloudless day. Her kits became known as Nightkit and Pepperkit. They were still too young to become apprentices, but it wouldn't be long before they joined Olivepaw and Percy in the den. Percy had become known as Perchpaw since he was around Olivepaw's age, with Hollyleaf being his mentor. The deputy was more than happy to take on such a task, if not a bit perturbed over the young tabby's enthusiasm. Maroon was now known as Maroonpelt, while Ember was now known as Emberleaf.
Once that task was established, the new cats started learning what it was like to be involved in a Clan. Dovestar kept a careful eye on cats like Minnowtail. She could tell the queen was furious over the fact that another queen had joined the nursery with two more kits. Nightkit and Pepperkit were old enough to eat fresh-kill, which made life a little more tolerable. Maroonpelt was still on edge over being surrounded by strangers, though at least he had his sister to keep him company.
"It seems as though Forestpelt is strangely comfortable around these cats," she mused when Tigerheart finally joined her.
She wasn't sure what to say regarding the distance they put between themselves. Most of that mess had been Tigerheart's fault in the first place. He thought he was doing her a favor by avoiding her, but in all reality, she missed his company. She missed the comfort he provided her whenever she suffered from a nightmare. More importantly, she missed being able to share tongues with him without feeling self-conscious about it.
"Apparently they all knew each other," he explained. Dovestar's ears pricked forward with mild interest. "And they all have a common enemy in Lightning. From what I've gathered, he's been causing trouble for quite some time now."
Dovestar let out a thoughtful hum. She doubted Lightning would stop his attacks on the patrols. So far the attacks themselves hadn't been anything worth investing in, but she knew it would get worse now that more cats had joined the Clan. They couldn't dismiss the potential threat Lightning and his gang posed on the Clan.
"We'll need to think of a way to keep Lightning from attacking our patrols," she said quietly.
She didn't want to scare the newcomers when they were already on edge. Tigerheart must have been thinking the same thing, because he nodded in agreement.
"There seems to be a consistent pattern with Lightning," he started while eyeing the newcomers thoughtfully. "His gang only attacks families with kits, which means that they're likely taking healthy kits and forcing them to join their gang."
That sent a shiver of unease through Dovestar. She heard horror stories of something similar happening to other cats. One leader would get bold enough to steal kits from families and train them against said families. One cat in particular was infamous for training kits, though that was more of a horror story than anything else.
"We need to be prepared in case he tries doing the same thing here," she decided.
It's bad enough we still have the Dark Forest cats to worry about, she thought bitterly. Now we have this problem on our paws.
"There's something else I've been meaning to tell you," Tigerheart suddenly added. Dovestar glanced at him warily as she guessed where this was headed. She had been wondering how long it would take for him to tell her to get lost entirely. Considering he wanted to put a safe distance between them for personal reasons, she braced herself for what would follow. "I know I should've been more upfront about it before, but—"
"You can save your breath," she cut him off with a withering look. Tigerheart flinched as if she personally clawed his ears off. "I already know what you're about to say, and I don't need to hear it out loud. As far as I'm concerned, I need to focus on my duties as leader of this Clan."
Tigerheart's ears flattened when he realized what she was implying. She was ready to leave when he suddenly put a paw on her tail. There wasn't enough force to his step to cause harm, but it was enough to stop her in her tracks. She turned to glare at him, but she was met with something akin to guilt sweeping across his face.
"That's not what I was going to say," he deadpanned. Her eyes narrowed with annoyance as she debated whether it was worth indulging in this conversation. "Look, I know I made a mistake in pushing you away. It was stupid of me to think that would help." Dovestar's heart nearly skipped a beat when she realized what he meant by that. "I love you."
It took a few seconds for her to register what he said. She simply stared at him as if he'd grown wings. She imagined that this was nothing more than a dream, but she knew this was reality. She was wide awake and staring at the cat that had been part of her life for as long as she could remember. Though they had been in separate Clans at one point, they could finally be together without breaking the warrior code.
"What did you say?" she finally spoke after the world suddenly started spinning.
"I love you," he repeated himself in such a firm voice that it nearly knocked the breath out of her lungs. "Dovestar, I've loved you for as long as I've known you… I only wish I could've told you the truth sooner."
For a while, it felt as if they were the only cats in existence. Her mouth opened and closed a few times as she struggled to find something to respond with.
She kept her own emotions and feelings at bay for so long that it almost hurt to expose them in front of the cat that she loved. There was no denying the fact that she loved him. She cherished the moments they had together when they were younger. Even if they had been breaking the warrior code at one point, that didn't stop her from loving him.
"I love you too, mousebrain," she finally purred once she was able to speak again. Relief swept across his face when she brushed her muzzle against his. It was the first time in days they could be themselves without worrying about anything so petty. And she relished every second of it. "I've been in love with you long before this Clan was formed."
If he wasn't surprised before, he was now as realization dawned on him. Dovestar stifled a purr of amusement when she realized how difficult this had been for the both of them. Now she didn't have to hide those feelings anymore. She knew then and there that his feelings had always been there. He just had a harder time admitting them out loud. And for the first time in moons, she felt strangely at peace with herself. All because the cat that she loved finally admitted his feelings to her.