Chapter 114: The Replacement

"Hey." Xander says.

"Ah." Building Manager, Linda says

Xander wipes his hand on his shirt-tail and offers his hand. She shakes it, unimpressed. "I brought my friends."

"I see." Linda says.

"They wouldn't always be around." Xander says.

Willow nods, "But we're quiet and clean."

Buffy and Riley exit into the bedroom. Willow heads into the kitchen area.

Anya is looking around the living area. "We could have Scooby meetings in the living room. Giles can explain the boring things over here."

"Hey! There's a microwave in here! It would be like having hot-and-cold running popcorn. Only hot." Willow says.

Xander starts looking around.

"Phone and electricity are hooked up. There's a private balcony, ceiling fans, closet space…" Linda says.

Xander opens the door to the bedroom. Buffy and Riley are kissing just inside the door. They jump apart. "You guys. You can't save it for the bedroom?" Buffy and Riley gesture expressively around them at the bedroom. "Okay, good point."

Xander heads back to Linda as Buffy and Riley follow him.

Linda smiles, "I brought an application for you to fill out."

"An application? I can't just, like, tell you my references? 'Cuz there's Albert-" Xander says.

"We run your credit check based on the application." Linda says.

Xander nods, "Oh, Credit check. Little check on the credit. See how credible my checks are, ha ha."

Linda smiles, "And we'll be asking for first, last, security and a small cleaning deposit. The total's at the bottom of the sheet."

Xander looks at the total. Buffy and Riley look at it over his shoulder. Xander does a good job of not reacting. But Buffy and Riley exchange a look-Buffy shakes her head slightly.

Anya joins them. "He'll take it! Xander, go get the furniture, I'll wait here. He lives in his drunken parents' basement where something urinated on the hot plate."

"Um, let's talk quietly over there. Xander says. "Excuse us."

Xander pulls Anya to one side. Buffy and Riley are left smiling awkwardly at Linda as Willow joins them.

"We…um…we like the ceiling fans." Riley says.

"Very, you know, kind of Old south." Willow says.

"But without unpleasant slavery associations." Buffy says.

"But why can't we have it?" Anya asks.

"I told you. The construction job is ending, I'm not going to have any money coming in. And, by the way, you do have your own place." Xander says.

"So when I want to visit you I have to be in that awful basement?" Anya asks.

"Not forever. Just until things come together…" Xander says.

Anya just gets more shrill and upset. "Which is when, Xander? 'Cause right now things are looking pretty un-together and you can't expect me to just wait around-"

"Quiet, please. Anya, what is this? What's going on with you?" Xander asks.

"What's going on is my arm is hurt and I'm tired and I don't really feel like finishing the tour of beautiful things I can't have." Anya says. With that she spins around and storms out.

Embarrassed, Xander turns to Linda. "Guess I'll just start on that application. Think you'll like it. I've been told I have lovely penmanship."

Looking very skeptical, Linda hands him the application.

Later at the Magic Box, Willow pages through some of the shop's collection of books. Buffy, Riley, and Xander watch as Giles demonstrates how he fought off the demon.

Giles swings a sculpture wildly. "Like this… and this!"

"That's thing's pretty heavy." Riley says,

"It's Oofdar, Goddess of Childbirth. Got some nice heft to her." Willow says.

"How badly did you hurt him?" Buffy asks.

Giles sets down the sculpture. "Well, hurt… maybe not hurt…"

"I'm sure he was startled." Willow says.

"Yes, yes, I imagine it gave him rather a turn."

"He ran away, right?" Buffy asks.

Giles nods, "Sort of, more… turned and swept out majestically, I suppose. Said I didn't concern him."

"So a mythic triumph over a completely indifferent foe?" Buffy asks.

"Well, I'm not dead or unconscious, so I say bravo for me." Giles says.

Willow hands Giles one of the books. "Good demons in this one. See if your guy's in there."

Giles starts looking through it.

"So you bought the magic shop and you were attacked before it even opened. Who's up for a swingin' chorus of the "We Told You So" symphony?" Xander says.

Riley is taking a few practice swings with the sculpture. "Owning this place does seem kind of dangerous."

Giles looks up from his book. He looks blankly at Riley. "Toth."

"What?" Riley asks.

"He called you a toth. It's a British expression. It means, like, a moron." Buffy says.

Giles shakes his head, "No. Toth is the name of the demon. Ancient demon… very strong… last survivor of the Tothic Clan. It also says that for a demon he's unusually sophisticated."

"Sophisticated? I talk men's fashion with him while I cut his head off?" Buffy asks.

"They're referring to the fact that he does not fight barehanded. He uses tools, devices. He's also supposed to be very focused. An since he mentioned "The Slayer" I think we know what the focus is-" Giles says.

Riley turns grim. "He mentioned Buffy? Where do we find him and how hard can I kill him?"

"There's no mention of the types of places he might frequent. But I have an idea. He had a specific… olfactory presence." Giles says.

"So it's off to the old factory. I hate that place." Xander says. "I'm joking. I know what it means. He smelled."

"Some demon rituals involve anointing with oils. Was it kind of sandalwoody?" Willow says.

Giles shakes his head, "Hmm. Not even remotely. But it was very… distinctive."

Later that night at the City Dump, Buffy, Giles, Willow and Xander walk gingerly through the dump carrying crossbows and axes.

"The city dump, where smells go to relax and be themselves." Buffy says.

"People say they're recycling." Riley says. "They're not recycling."

"I found a spell so you can't smell anything. But it does it by taking your nose off. So, no." Willow says, looking at Buffy. "Sounds like a personal gain spell to me and that would be one big a consequence."

"Agreed," Buffy says.

The group rounds a corner, startling Spike, who is rummaging through some discarded items.

"What are you doing here, Spike?" Riley asks.

"Oh, there's a nice lady vampire who's set up a charming tea room just 'round the next pile of crap - what do you think I'm doing? I'm scavenging, ain't I?" Spike says as he indicates a small pile of salvaged items. Spike holds up an attractive old oil lamp.

"Very pretty," Willow says.

"Spike, we're looking for a demon. Very tall, robe, skin kinda hanging off, deep voice…" Buffy says.

"What, you mean a great tall robe-y thing like that one?" Spike asks.

The Scoobies turn and look behind them. Toth looms lover them from a nearby hill of garbage, holding a black rod. "Die well, Slayer"

Toth rushes forward as Giles and Riley circle around behind him, axes ready as Toth raises the rod.

"Hey, big guy! Kick 'er ass!" Spike says.

Buffy sees the rod in Toth's hand - a fighting staff? She picks up a length of pipe.

Xander sees that Toth is aiming the rod at her. "Watch out!"

A blast of sparks erupts from the rod and a pile of garbage next to Buffy explodes!

"Take cover!" Riley says.

Riley grabs Willow's arm, pulls her away from the action. Toth fires the weapon again. Spike's new lamp is hit, shattering in his hand.

"Oh, very nice. I was on your side!" Spike says.

Toth has Buffy in his sights. Xander knocks into Buffy causing her to flame out just as a blast of magical force erupts from the rod. The force hits Xander. He is flung to the ground in the shadows.

Buffy flames back in, "Xander!"

The gang run to Xander as Riley helps him up.

"Man, you okay?" Riley asks.

Buffy looks around for Toth, but he's gone. Xander allows himself to be supported between Buffy and Riley. The group moves away slowly.

"I'm okay…I'm fine…" Xander says.

The dump is empty now. Except that something lies half-buried in garbage, unnoticed. It's Xander, still lying unconscious where he fell. So who just went off with Buffy?

The next morning at the Manor Buffy and Riley are in her bedroom.

Buffy hangs up the phone. "They hung up." She goes back to loading weapons into her weapon bag. "Okay, the guy wants to fight with weapons, I've got it covered from A to Z. From ax to… ze other ax." She smiles at Riley. He forces a smile back at her. "Relax. Another day, another demon."

"Right. It'll be good." Riley says as she kisses him. He kisses back. Right away, the sweet moment is spoiled by vigorous gagging noises. Riley and Buffy look over to see Dawn, standing in the doorway.

"My friend Sharon's older brother knows a girl who died 'cause she choked on her boyfriend's tongue." Dawn says.

"Go away, Dawn." Buffy says.

"Hey it's my room, too." Dawn says.

"Get out of here!" Buffy says.

Phoebe passes by, and Dawn stops her.

"Phoebe, I can stand in Buffy and my room, right?" Dawn asks.

"She's watching us like a big freak." Buffy says.

Phoebe rubs at her forehead and looks at the heavens, "Prue why did you curse me to be the middle sister for everyone in this house." She looks to Buffy and Dawn. "Buffy it is her room also. Dawn if Buffy would like some privacy it would be very grown up of you to give her some." She walks off.

"She didn't say I couldn't stand here." Dawn says.

Buffy sighs, "Dawn she also said if I want some privacy for you to act grown up and give me my privacy. If you had a boyfriend I would give you some privacy if you wanted it."

"Really?" Dawn asks.

Buffy nods, "In this house, yes. With five of us living here, privacy is something you really should cherish and get whenever you can."

Dawn nods, "Okay, but you owe me." She turns and closes the door behind her as she leaves.

"I guess I should go. I'm thinking maybe the guy actually likes smelly places. So I'm going to do a whole tour de funky, starting with the sewers." Buffy says.

Riley shakes his head, "I'm coming with you."

"Um…." Buffy says.

"I never told you this about me, but I love the sewers. Probably get a place there when I retire." Riley says.

"Riley, this Toth guy walks softly and carries a big blasty rod. He almost hurt Xander - I'm not going to let him hurt you." Buffy says.

"I don't know. I don't like you facing off alone with these creeps who come gunning for you. I mean, first it was Dracula-" Riley says.

"Dracula wasn't the first guy to come Buffy Hunting. Lots of baddies want the Slayer or Charmed One trophy kill. I can handle it." Buffy says.

"I know... And if you want me to stay out of it, that's cool. But you can't blame me for worrying. Your job makes you a target. I mean, who knows how many bad guys are out there just waiting for their chance." Riley says.

Later in the day at the Manor; Piper, Phoebe, Paige, Buffy, Giles and Riley listen to Xander. Buffy's weapon bag lies nearby and a map of the sewers is pinned to the wall - looks like a strategy session got interrupted.

"It stole my face. We have to fine it and we have to kill it!" Xander says.

"Don't worry, Xander. Whatever stole your face - it has to deal with the Charmed Ones now." Buffy says.

"What's intriguing is that there are any number of demons with the ability to mimic a simple form, but this sounds like more than that—" Giles says.

"Hold up. Do we really have to figure out what it is? Let's just go kill it." Xander says.

"Yeah. When the imposter is killed, the body'll probably turn back into whatever it really is, and then we'll know." Riley says.

"It doesn't always work that way," Piper says. "Some demons can't be vanquished simply by physical means or by a spell. Sometimes you need a potion made of its own flesh. Knowing which demon this is will help us to determine if it's one Buffy deals with as a Slayer or one we have to deal with as Charmed Ones. Then we determine how to kill it."

"Toth. The demon with the creepy-stick." Buffy says.

"Toth." Xander says.

"It's gotta be. He hit you with the blast and somehow that allowed him to take your form. Giles, couldn't that be what the stick-thing did?" Buffy says.

"I suppose... yes, it makes sense. A shape-shifting device." Giles says.

"It does make sense. It must be Toth." Xander says.

"Well, I was looking for Toth anyway. I guess now I start, you know, looking for you." Buffy says.

"Should I go with you? I told Anya to meet me. I'd feel a lot better knowing she's safe from this creep." Xander says.

"Go be with her. If you were running around looking for the double too... well, let's just say I don't want to run into you and kill the wrong one." Buffy says.

Xander is already up and heading for the door. "Good thinking. When you kill the guy you'd better make sure you've got the one who's actually-"

Later that evening Buffy lifts her weapon bag onto her shoulder as Riley looks at a map of Sunnydale and Giles pages through a book.

"So you're thinking we split up." Riley says.

Buffy nods, "Right. You hit all the places he might go to blend in as Xander. I'll keep checking out the places Toth might hang—"

Willow bursts in, out of breath, able to do nothing but pant for a second.

"I swear, that time I know I had that locked." Giles says.

"Buffy! Toth looks like Xander!" Willow says.

"We know it already. We're on our way—" Riley says.

"Wait. Willow, how do you know about this?" Buffy says.

"He came to me. I mean, Xander did. He's in terrible shape. We need to help him!" Willow says.

"He came to us, too." Riley says.

"No! We each had a Xander. I mean you didn't have a Xander! You had a demon in a Xander-suit!" Willow says.

"But, wait, what make you think yours was the right one?" Buffy asks.

"He knew stuff. He did the Snoopy dance. Buffy, it was Xander and he needs us!" Willow says.

Giles looks up from his book. "Oh dear lord." The others ignore him.

"Buffy... Our Xander. Did he seem a little...?" Riley says.

"He was kind of... forceful and confident." Buffy says.

"That's not Xander!" Willow says.

"I said oh dear lord." Giles says.

"You always say that." Buffy says.

"Well, it's always important! Neither one of the Xanders is a demon." Giles says.

Piper frowns, "They're not?"

"Um... is one of them a robot?" Willow asks.

"What? No. The rod device, it's called a Ferula-gemina. It splits one person into half, distilling personality traits into two separate bodies. As near as I can tell Toth was attempting to split the Slayer into two different entities."

"Two Buffys?" Paige asks.

Giles nods, "Yes, one of them with all the qualities inherent in Buffy Halliwell. The other with everything that belongs to the Slayer alone and maybe even the Charmed One: the strength and speed, the heritage, your powers. When it hit Xander, I think it separated him into his strongest qualities and his... weakest."

"But which one is the real one?" Phoebe asks.

"They're both real. They're both Xander. Neither of them is evil. There's nothing in either of them that our Xander didn't already possess." Giles says.

"I still don't get the original plan. Why do it? The Slayer and Charmed half would be like Slayer and Charmed-concentrate. Pretty unkillable." Riley says.

"But the two halves can't exist without the other. Kill the weaker Buffy half and the Slayer and Charmed half dies." Giles says.

"So, same thing for the Xanders, right? Both of them need to stay alive or they both die." Buffy says.

In Xander's new apartment, the two Xanders face each other warily. Anya stands at Xander-Double's side.

"He's the demon! Or possibly a robot! Look at me Anya! Look in my eyes! Can't you see it's me?" Xander asks.

Anya hesitates. She thought she was sure, but... "I don't know."

"Please! Look at him! Listen to him! He's all smooth! You have to know me!" Xander says.

Xander-Double pulls Anya in closer, possessively. "Don't worry Anya. I'll get rid of this thing. I'm thinking this is gonna last about fifteen seconds."

Xander-Double releases Anya and takes a threatening step toward Xander.

"I'm thinking less." Xander says as he pulls out a gun and points it at his double.

Riley and Buffy are in Giles' car, racing to Xander's apartment.

"Can't this thing go any faster? Ultimate Driving Machine my ass. I could flame faster than this." Buffy says.

"We're pushing seventy." Riley says.

"Hey, Riley. Do you wish –" Buffy says.

Riley shakes his head, "No."

"No? You don't even know what I was going to say!" Buffy says.

"Yes, I do. You wanted to know if I wished you got hit by the Ferula-gemina. Got split in two." Riley says.

"Well, you have been kinda rankly about the whole "Slayer and Charmed One" gig. Instead of Slayer Buffy or Charmed One Buffy you could have Buffy Buffy." Buffy says.

"I have Buffy Buffy. Being the Slayer and Charmed One is part of who you are. You keep thinking I don't get that, but –" Riley says.

"I just know how unfun it can be. Bad hours, frequent bruising, cranky monsters-" Buffy says.

"Buffy, if you led a perfectly normal life, you wouldn't be half as crazy as you are. I gotta have that. I'm talking toes, elbows, the whole bad-ice-skating-movie obsession, everything. There's no part of you I'm not in love with." Riley says.

Buffy thinks about his answer. After a quiet beat... she allows herself a little smile. "We better get there soon. If Xander kills himself, he's dead. You know what I mean."

In Xander's apartment, Xander-Double looks on as Xander and Anya grapple over the gun.

"Let go! I have to kill the demon-bot!" Xander says.

Anya wrenches the gun from his hand and it falls to the ground.

Xander-Double scoops it up. He points it cooly at Xander. "Anya, get out of the way."

Startled by his cold determination, Anya steps away. Suddenly, Buffy and Riley burst in! Riley is carrying Buffy's weapon's bag.

"Xander!" Buffy says.

Both Xanders turn and look.

"It's all right Buffy, I have him." Xander-Double says.

"No! Buffy! I'm me! Help me!" Xander says.

"That's my gun! He has my gun!" Anya says pointing at the gun.

"You own a gun?" Riley asks.

"Xander- Gun-holding Xander. Give it to me." Buffy says.

Xander-Double hesitates, his finger hovering over the trigger. Finally he flips the gun expertly in his hand, expelling the bullets onto the ground and handing Buffy the now-unloaded gun. Buffy hands it to Riley who tucks it into his waistband.

"Buffy! Which one's real?" Anya says.

"I am!" Xander says.

"No. I am." Xander-Double says.

Xander, infuriated, launches himself physically at Xander-Double. Buffy grabs him mid-launch and throws him up against a wall.

"Ow!" Xander says.

"Thank you!" Xander-Double says.

Buffy grabs Xander-Double, puts him up against the wall next to Xander.

"Ow!" Xander-Double says.

Buffy holds them both pinned motionless against the wall with a hand on each chest. She looks back and forth between them.

Riley comes up behind her, looks too. "Wild."

"Yeah. Okay, look, Xander...s. You've been split in two. You're both Xander. And you can't kill each other. I mean you can, but it would be bad." Buffy says.

The Xanders look at each other.

"No way." Xander-Double says.

"He can't be me. He's all... fancy." Xander says.

Buffy cautiously steps away, unpinning the boys.

"We can prove you're both Xander." Riley says.

"Yes! How?" Buffy asks.

"Well, there has to be a way." Riley says.

"What number am I thinking of?" Buffy asks.

"I don't think that's how to—" Riley says.

"Eleven and a half." Both Xanders say.

"Wrong. Oh! But, see?!" Buffy says.

Xander shakes his head, "No. We're not the same. We're all different."

"Different properties went into each of you, but you're both Xander." Riley says.

"Different properties?" Anya asks.

"What different properties?" Xander asks.

"Oh... um... sense of direction, good night-vision, stuff like that." Buffy says.

"But he has a thing! In his pocket! A shiny disk that stuns and disorients!" Xander says.

Xander-Double pulls the disk from his pocket. "What disk? This?"

Xander screams and clamps his hands over his eyes. "Cover your eyes! It'll melt your brain!"

Buffy takes the disk from Xander-Double and pries Xander's hands away. She shows him the disk. "Look."

"It's a nickel someone flattened on a railroad track. I found it on the construction site and I thought it was cool. It's not magic." Xander-Double says.

Xander takes it. "No! It- Huh. It is kinda cool. Washington's still there, but he's all smooshy. And he may be Jefferson."

"Isn't anyone going to tell me why there are two Xanders?" Anya asks.

"We'll explain on the way to Giles—" Buffy says as Toth blasts into the room

Toth sweeps in through the resulting smoke. "I will not miss again, Slayer."

"Oh great. Rod boy." Buffy says.

Xander quickly steps behind Xander-Double. "The gun! Pick up the little gun-pieces!"

Toth aims the rod at Buffy and fires. She flames out and the blast leaves a harmless charred area on the rug. She flames back in where she stood moments before.

"Hey! I just made a small cleaning deposit!" Xander-Double says.

Toth is aiming again when Riley comes out of nowhere and jumps him from behind, attempting to disarm him. Toth throws Riley aside easily, but the distraction allows Buffy to catch him by surprise. She catches him with a flying kick, follows up with punches... and finally sweeps his feet out from under him.

"Sword!" Buffy says.

Riley is at her weapons bag. He opens it and tosses her the sword.

The Xanders wince as Buffy stabs Toth.

Out of breath and victorious, Riley crosses to Buffy. The demon Toth lies dead at her feet, the sword imbedded in it.

"Oh yeah, that cleaning deposit's gone." Xander-Double says.

"I was thinking the same thought." Xander says. "Hey- do you suppose we're both Xander?"

Later back at the Magic Box Piper, Phoebe, Paige, Giles, Buffy, Riley, both Xanders, Anya, Willow are there. Giles is drawing a pentagram on the floor with chalk. Everyone else is looking at the two Xanders. Xander-Double has put on the duplicate of Xander's outfit, and is just finishing buttoning his shirt. Buffy and Willow examine their faces close up, comparing.

"Look and admire, ladies." Xander says.

"It's like... there's a little scar here, then there it is over there." Buffy says.

"It's all doubled. This zit, and this kind of funny dippy place and this weird little hair that grows the wrong way—" Willow says.

"Okay, back off, ladies." Xander-Double says.

"Psychologically, this is fascinating. Doesn't it make everyone want to lock them in separate rooms and do experiments on them?" Riley says. "Just me, then."

"So, you Xanders, you really do have all the same memories, all the same... physical... attributes?" Anya asks.

"We're completely identical." Xander-Double says.

"Yeah, we checked over some stuff in the car on the way over." Xander says. "Fingerprints."

"Maybe we shouldn't do this reintegration thing right away. See, I could take the boys home, have sex with all of us, then we could just slap 'em back together in the morning." Anya says.

Piper, Phoebe and Paige roll their eyes.

"She's joking." Xander-Double says.

"No she's not! She entirely wants to have sex with us together! It's wrong, and, and... it would be very confusing!" Xander says.

Giles finishes the pentagram and stands up. "Now, we need to arrange the candles. Also, we can continue to pretend we heard none of this disturbing sex talk."

Buffy laughs, "You should live at the Manor. I get to hear it from these three on a regular basis."

"Check. Candles and pretense." Willow says.

Willow, Buffy, Anya, Riley and Giles each take a candle, light it, and place it on a point of the pentagram.

"It's not like it'd be cheating. They're both Xander." Anya says.

Everyone pretends they didn't hear her.

Xander turns to Xander-Double. "Now, hold on a sec. If you weren't putting the whammy on people with the shiny thing? How did you do it? How'd you get the promotion?"

"Well I'm good at that stuff." Xander-Double says.

"I am?" Xander asks.

Xander-Double nods, "Yeah."

Xander smiles, "Hey, how about that girl, the apartment manager?"

"How weird was it when she called me 'Mr.'?" Xander-Double asks.

"We're ready. We should do it now." Willow says.

"What do we do if it doesn't work?" Anya asks.

"Kill us both, Spock!" Xander and Xander-Double says as they both laugh, cracking each other up.

"They're kind of... the same now." Buffy says.

"Yes. He's clearly a bad influence on himself." Giles says.

"Summon the goddess, chant the chant. Let's do it." Xander says.

"Actually, it's not that hard. See, your natural state is to be together. Toth's spell is doing all the work of keeping you apart. Buffy and I just have to break it. You two stand here. Side by side." Willow says. "Don't want you to end up with two fronts, do we?"

The Xanders stand where she positions them.

"You sure you know how to do this?" Xander asks.

"Here we go. Brace yourselves." Willow says.

"Let the spell be ended." Buffy and Willow says.

"You've got to be kidding. "Let the spell be ended"? That's not gonna work! Oh." Xander says as he looks at himself. Looks around. There's only him.

"I liked it the other way. Put 'em back." Anya says.

The next day Buffy, Riley and Dawn are helping Xander pack his things. Anya is sitting on the workbench, watching the activity. Incidentally, Xander looks a lot like Xander-Double, clothes and hair at their best.

Buffy, carries an armload of clothes as she approaches Xander. Dawn is packing a box nearby. "You look good, Xand. Clothes, hair... I think you came out ahead in this whole thing."

"Well, I got a job and an apartment. If the hair's grooving along with the new vibe, I'm okay with it." Xander says.

"I guess maybe we shoulda kept both of you 'til we had all the heavy lifting done, huh?" Buffy asks.

"Yeah. But, really... it was too weird. And my... Um... less cool half... a sweetheart of a guy, but still, just on the clumsiness issue alone, I don't think anyone would've wanted him around much." Xander says.

Riley carries a heavy box by, and Xander helps him. Buffy also moves off.

Dawn is left as she says wistfully to herself, "I would've wanted him." She picks up her box and exits out the basement door. Riley and Xander carry their box to the bottom of the stairs. Xander looks around the near-empty room.

"Getting nostalgic?" Riley asks.

"I don't know. At first it's just a place, and then you start to make memories and then it's like... that's where Spike slept, and there... that's where Anya and I drowned the Separvo demon and right here, here's where my heart got all ripped out... I really hate this place." Xander says.

"Hey, Anya, I see you've joined the not-sling-wearing crowd." Buffy says.

"Yes. I'm feeling better and I anticipate many years before my death, excepting disease or air bag failure." Anya says.

"Ah. That sounds... good?" Buffy says as she heads out with a box.

Xander comes over and hands Anya a box.

"Oooh, a present!" Anya says.

"Not unless you want my collection of Babylon 5 commemorative plates. Which you cannot have. I just thought you could help carry a little." Xander says.

"Me? Buffy has super strength, let's just load her up like one of those little horses." Anya says.

Xander sighs, "Anya. Please."

"Fine. I'm just your slave." Anya says and she carries the box out the door.

Xander turns to Riley, smiles wryly. "How is it that she can always make me feel like Suave Xander has left the building?"

"You two have your friction, but she digs the whole package. It's obvious." Riley says.

"Still, I do envy you sometimes. I mean, for the sanity. Not that I'm still into Buffy. Not that I ever was." Xander says.

Riley smiles. "Hey, I'm well aware of how lucky I am. Like, lottery lucky. Buffy's like nobody else in the world. When I'm with her, it's like I'm split in two - half of me is just on fire, going crazy if I'm not touching her. Other half is so still and peaceful, just perfectly content. Just knows: this is the one." He pauses in his reverie, turns to Xander. "But she doesn't love me." He says it without bitterness, merely with quiet acceptance.

Xander doesn't know what to say.

Buffy and Dawn reenter, Dawn going for a nearby box as Buffy moves to Riley.

"You got more for me to carry?" Buffy asks.

"You can help me pack this." Riley says.

"Sure." Buffy says as she gives Riley a quick casual kiss and then they pack the box together. Xander watches.