Chapter 133: Loss

Valencia Street Serra Mortuary

Piper moved through the darkened room full of coffins, stopping in front of one. It was at that moment the harsh fluorescent overhead lights washed the room in a sickly yellow light. Piper not expecting the harsh light started for a second before she noticed her sisters followed by Dawn, Giles and the funeral director.

"Piper. There you are…" Phoebe said as she walked toward Piper.

"Are you alright?" Giles asked with concern. He remembered how Buffy and Piper had taken Prue's death and was obviously concerned for Piper who had lost yet another member of her family.

Piper nodded as she wiped a tear from her eye. She looked at the casket directly in front of her. She knew the caskets in this room were top of the line. But she knew without a shadow of a doubt this one would be the right one for her sister. She just didn't know how she was going to pay for it. "Yeah. I…" she started.

"Did you find something?" the funeral director interrupted.

Piper nodded and pointed at the casket. "That one," she told him.

"That model is beautiful. In fact, all of the caskets in this room are top of the line. However, given your budget, it might not be the—" Before the funeral director could even get the words out of his mouth, Giles raised a hand silencing the man letting him know that he would take care of it. "It's a fine choice. It speaks to your deep feeling for the deceased."

Piper nodded as she started to head out of the room when she noticed that Dawn was staring at her choice of casket. "Dawnie?" she said as she noticed how uncertain her baby sister was with her choice. "You don't like it?"

Dawn shook her head. It wasn't that she didn't like it. She thought it was perfect. But was it what Buffy would want? "It's not that," she told Piper. "It's just - what if Buffy… What if she'd like something else better?"

Piper let out a sigh. "Dawn—" she started.

Dawn looked at her eldest cousin. "I mean, how do we know?" she interrupted. "For sure? She's the one who has to be in it forever."

Piper couldn't think about that fact, it hurt to much. After all Dawn was not the only one to have lost Buffy. "Dawn. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea, you coming along…" she said, not unkingly.

"It's fine. It's just—" Dawn started.

"Dawn Marie Summers! I'm serious," Piper interrupted. "You shouldn't have to deal with this stuff—"

"If you'd like a few more minutes to decide—" the funeral director asked.

Piper held up her hand silencing him. "No. It's fine," she said looking straight at Dawn. "Okay?" Dawn reluctantly nodded. Piper nodded as she followed by Giles and the funeral director left.

Phoebe and Paige glanced at each other and then moved over to Dawn, pulling their baby cousin into their arms.

Halliwell Manor

That evening Piper and Phoebe sat at one end of the dining room table going over paperwork and reviewing Buffy's funeral arrangements. At the other end of the table Paige and Leo sat with Dawn, Wyatt and Celia. Paige was feeding Celia while Leo was feeding Wyatt. Dawn just sat there, her food untouched.

"I checked prices with a few different florists. The funeral home is competitive," Phoebe told her big sister.

Piper sighed. "Let's just go with them, then. It's simpler."

"What color flowers?" Dawn wondered as she looked down the table at Piper and Phoebe.

"White. They're nice," Piper offered before returning her attention to Phoebe. "What about an announcement? People are going to be expecting a wake after the burial if we don't say something."

"We could put a line in the program," Phoebe answered. "Expressing Buffy's preference not to have one."

"There's no wake?" Dawn asked surprised.

Piper glanced at her baby cousin again and sighed. "After Prue's funeral Buffy said she didn't want one."

"I didn't know that." Dawn says remembering Prue's funeral. "Are we going with a Priestess like we did with Prue?"

"Yes."

"What about the mausoleum?"

Piper shook her head as she remembered what she had discussed with Buffy about her prefences should the unforeseen ever occur. "We may put a plaque next to Prue's. But Buffy didn't want to be buried in the mausoleum. She said and I quote, 'I want to lie back and look up at the stars.'"

Dawn smiled, she could picture Buffy saying that. "That's nice," she said. "She actually said that?"

Piper smiled at her baby cousin and nodded. "Yes."

"You better get working on that dinner," Paige said noticing that Dawn hadn't been eating. "You've barely touched it."

Dawn sighed. "I'm not feeling very casseroley."

"Shouldn't stop you," Paige offered. "Eating can provide pleasant numbness."

"You should eat, Dawn," Piper added.

Dawn sighed and looked at her eldest cousin and then nodded as she reluctantly took a bite.

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Dawn was in tears as she flipped through hers and Buffy's Book of Shadows, well just hers now. She cast the Power of Four spell, a modified version of the old Power of Three spell, hoping that Buffy would return. "Hear now the words of the witches, the secrets we hid in the night. The oldest of Gods are invoked here, the great magic is sought." A candle flickered. She sat surrounded by herb jars, chalices and other ritualistic items. "In this night and in this hour, I call upon the ancient power." She looked up and closed her eyes. "Bring back my sister. Bring back the Power of Four."

She kept her eyes closed for a prayerful beat, then she opened them and looked at the candle, but saw nothing. Blindly determined, she started flipping through pages until she found another spell, To Call a Lost Witch. She expertly found and mixed certain ingredients: rosemary, cypress, yarrow root into a silver bowl as she chanted from the book.

"Power of the witches' rise. Course unseen across the skies. Come to us, we call you near. Come to us and settle here," Dawn said. Then, she found an athame and sliced the left finger of her left hand so that blood could symbolically spill directly from her heart and into the bowl. "Blood to blood, I summon thee. Blood to blood, return to me."

A faint gust of wind flickered the candle, but not much else. Dawn buried her face in her hands in defeat.

"Dawn?" A voice asked.

"Buffy?" Dawn asked, looking at the candle.

Piper and Phoebe walked into the attic. "Honey, it's 4 in the morning," Piper said.

"What are you doing?" Phoebe asked.

Dawn didn't answer, she just stared blankly at the book. Piper noticed Dawn's bleeding finger and glanced at Phoebe who nodded in understanding. Dawn had been trying to bring back Buffy just as Piper and Buffy had tried to bring back Prue two years before.

Phoebe turned around found a clean cloth. "You're bleeding," she said as she turned back around.

Dawn didn't notice, didn't care. Phoebe took her baby cousin's hand and wrapped the wound as Dawn spoke, "I don't understand why magic can't fix this. And why I can't bring Buffy back. It's not like she hasn't cheated death before. I don't understand why this time isn't any different."

Piper sighed. "Because she's not meant to Dawn," she said. "Remember when Buffy and I tried to bring Prue back." Dawn nodded. "We couldn't do it then either. And when we talked to Grams she told us we weren't allowed to see her yet either. I just—I thank God that Phoebe, Paige and I didn't lose you too." She hugged Dawn before pulling away. "We have to get some rest. Buffy will never forgive us if we look bad at her funeral."

Dawn couldn't help but smile through the tears at that. She stood, looked down at her Book of Shadows one last time before closing it.

Arm-in-arm with Piper and Phoebe, Dawn walked out of the attic, Phoebe shutting the door behind them. A beat, then the mysterious wind returned as the symbol, moon and triquetra, on the cover began to glow. The mysterious wind reopened the book and magically turned to a previously blank page. Upon the page was a one line message in Joyce's handrwriting.

"I am so sorry, my little pum'kin belly."

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Later that morning Victor sat in the parlor. Phoebe, dressed for the funeral, came down the stairs and approached her father. She could see that Victor was staring vacantly at the floor. She knew he had never truly seen Buffy as his niece despite the fact she had been. That he had, like with Dawn and Paige, had always seen Buffy as his daughter. So the grief he showed on his face was that of a parent who had lost a child.

Phoebe smiled as she kissed kisses him on the cheek. "Can I get you anything?" she asked.

"Oh, no thanks sweetie," Victor said.

Phoebe nodded as she sat down next to her father. "It's unreal isn't it," she said.

"Yeah," he agreed as he finally looked up at Phoebe. "Two daughters in the span of two years. No parent should ever have to bury their child, let alone two of them."

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

In Piper and Leo's bedroom, the scene is eerily reminiscent of the day of Prue's funeral. Piper sat still in her dressing gown brushing her hair absenmindly.

"Piper?" Leo said as he eased open the door. He noticed there was no reaction from his wife, except that she kept brushing her hair. He stepped into the room and slowly approached her. "Piper, we have to go."

"I don't want to go." Piper objected.

Leo sighed remembering Prue's funeral how neither Piper or Buffy wanted to go then either. The loss of a sister was only surpassed by the loss of a parent. He slowly knelt down next to her. "Why not?"

Piper finally set the brush down as she turned to look at her husband. "Because if I go, that'll mean that Buffy's really not coming back," she told him, "and I don't know if I can handle that again. I've already lost Prue…"

"It'll be okay, Piper," he said trying to soothe her. "Just like it was after Prue died."

"How can you say that?" Piper yelled. "I've lost two members of this family in the space of two years!"

Leo sighed as pulled Piper into his arms, and as he tried to comfort his wife he felt her tears hit his shoulder.

0 – 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Dawn sat in her own bedroom, she unlike Piper was dressed and ready. But she had yet to move from the rocking chair as she slowly rocked Celia back and forth. She just sat their holding her niece, her goddaughter, her link to Buffy.

Westfield Cemetery

A beautiful ivory-colored coffin sits on a pedestal amongst the flowers. An ivory-dressed, Wiccan Priestess stands before a blue silk covered altar table, which was adorned with a chalice. A tied, silver cord lay before the chalice, three lit candles surround it; symbolizing birth, death, and the rebirth.

Dawn, Leo, Victor, Darryl, Piper and Phoebe were seated close to the priestess. Piper, Phoebe, and Dawn dab their eyes.

At the very back of the assembled group stood Hank. He had been filled in by Dawn, with Piper's blessing, on Buffy's life and death, about her being a Slayer and being a Charmed One. He couldn't have been more prouder of what his daughter had accomplished.

"That which belongs to fellowship and love. That which belongs to the circle, remains with us. The wheel turns. As life is a day, so our sister has passed into night. Nothing is final, and we who remain behind know that one day, we will once again share the bread and wine with our sister. O' blessed spirit, we bid you farewell, for you await a new destiny" The Priestess said.

With that, she untied the silver cord and gently lays it into the chalice. She blew out the candles.

Darryl was first to go over to Piper, Phoebe, Dawn and Victor to hug them. He was followed next by Giles who stopped in front of Dawn and kissed Celia on the forehead as he hugged each of them. He was followed by Willow, Tara, Xander and Anya who also hugged the sisters and Dawn.

Dawn glanced around looking for Angel half expecting to see him there, then she remembered it was daylight out and he would very likely be by after the sun went down to pay his respects.

After everyone else had left Piper, Phoebe, Paige and Dawn stood looking at the tombstone as they grieved for the loss of another member of their family.

PAYSON (BUFFY) PATRICIA HALLIWELL

1981-2001

BELOVED MOTHER, SISTER and COUSIN

DEVOTED FRIEND

THE POWER OF FOUR WILL SET YOU FREE

Folsom Women's Facility

A few days after the funeral in the Los Angeles County Jail, Willow was visiting her sister. She had come with the express purpose of telling Faith about Dawn and about Buffy's death.

"Hey Hope," Faith said. She had expected Buffy to be with her sister. After all Buffy usually drove them down. "Where's Buffy? You two usually come together."

Willow looked down unable to meet Faith's eyes.

It was in that one gesture that Faith knew something was wrong. She had seen her sister enough times in the last two years to know Willow always looked her in the eye. "Hope? What happened?"

"Buffy's dead," Willow reluctantly admitted.

"So when are Piper, Phoebe and Paige bringing her back?" she asked knowing that everytime that Buffy had died she had been brought back by CPR or other means.

"Their not."

Faith stared at Willow for a moment as it began to sink in. She was now the only Slayer. "How?"

"She died protecting her sister," Willow said as she finally looked up and into Faith's eyes. "She died protecting Dawn." She went on to tell Faith about Dawn being the Key and how Buffy had come to make the choice that she would die so her sister could live.

When Willow was finished Faith nodded. "Blessed be," she said.

"Blessed be," Willow echoed.

Author's Note (2013): As you see this chapter is an amalgamation of several episodes in both BTVS and Charmed. There are two scenes from Charmed Again. One Scene from Forever and the tombstone (modified) from The Gift.

I thought I would send out this one also today. See what folks though of Buffy's funeral. The next chapter will be Bargaining Pt. 1 which takes place 3 months after this chapter.