(Shows Deadliest Fictional Warrior Hosts Matthew and Jesse standing at a table. With them is guest host Dr. Rachel Diaz, a Latina women with black hair and brown eyes. She is wearing a white dress shirt, short black skirt and high heels and a white lab coat.)
"First of all, I would like to introduced Dr. Rachel Diaz, she will be filling in for Dr. Ronald today," Matthew said, "And what a battle we have today, a medieval battle of the sexes."
"It's a honor to be here right now, and yes this will be a good match up," Dr. Diaz said, "Joan of Arc was a rarity, she was a young peasant female who lead the French army against the English and win."
"But the man we are pitting her up against isn't gonna just let her win easily," Jesse said, "William Wallace fought the English as well and he is considered a patriot by the Scottish today."
"This will be a great match up today," Matthew said with a grin.
(Shows a skinny female in plate armor. He has short blonde hair and blue eyes. She takes out her sword and rises it in the air and roars in defiance.)
Joan of Arc, the French peasant girl turned leader of the French army because she was on a mission from god.
(Shows Joan kill a English Knight with a stab to the neck with a sword.)
vs.
(Shows a man wearing tan shirt with a plaid kilt. He has brown hair and blue eyes and half his face is painted blue. He is roaring in rage with huge sword in his right hand.)
William Wallace, the Scottish rebel who along with his rebel army, went to war with Edward the Longshanks and the English.
(Shows Wallace decapitating a English Knight with his huge sword.)
WHO...IS...DEADLIEST?
To find out, the history of war and modern science collide, as Biomedical Scientists Matthew Roth applies 21th century technology to unlock new data on some of movies, video game, and comics greatest weapons. ER doctor Dr. Rachel Diaz will assets the damage made by these dangerous weapons of war. And Computer Whiz Jesse Jacobs will input the data in the battle simulation that will determine the winner. Two of media's greatest warriors will be put into the battlefield. History will be written. But only one will be crowned:
DEADLIEST FICTIONAL WARRIOR
Welcome to the fight club, where we set up a high tech battle zone. We assembled a team of scientists, doctors, computer experts and weapons masters. All to simulate a one on one death match between two warriors who gave medieval England a ferocious fight.
First Up, Joan of Arc, the peasant girl turned French general who believed that god chose her to lead the French Army to victory.
Joan of Arc Stats:
1413-1432
Appearing From: The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc
Portrayed by: Milla Jovovich
Armor: Steel Curiass, Grieves, and gauntlets
Loyalty: God and France
But her opponent is a savage Scottish rebel who brought the English to its knees.
William Wallace, the Scottish knight who inspired his country men to fight for their freedom.
William Wallace Stats:
1270-1305
Appearing From: Braveheart
Portrayed by: Mel Gibson
Armor: Riveted Chain Mail
Loyalty: Scotland
(Shows a woman with shoulder length black hair and blue eyes. She wearing a black tank top, sweat pants and shoes. She take a sword and thrusts it into a foam dummy.)
Representing Joan of Arc is Sophie Fournier, a French native and a expert on the life,weapons and tactics of Joan of Arc.
"Joan has god on her side in this fight, and Billy the Scot will fall by her blade," Sophie said with a huge smile.
Born in 1413, Joan lived quietly, thou some found her unusually religious. However, when she was young, she had a violent and supernatural vision. When she returned to her village, it was being attacked by the English. Her sister Catherine protected her by hiding her in a closet, but she was raped and killed in front of Joan. Years later, Joan convinced the soon to be King of France that she was sent by god to lead the French to victory against the English. Joan twice gave the English to peacefully surrender but were refused, which led to French victories.
When both armies faced each other in a large grassy field in Orleans, France, The English army turned and left. However Joan had become a nuisance to the new King for trying to press the war with the English and wanted to use diplomacy. He conspired to get rid of Joan by letting her get captured by the English, who wanted her burned at the stake. She was captured and was burned at the stake. Her legacy would continued and she was Canonized as a saint in 1920. However, there are still rumors that Joan had made up her visions to simply get revenge on the English.
"By the will of God that William Wallace will met his end at Joan's hands.
But our William Wallace expert believes that Joan has picked the wrong fight.
(Shows a muscular man with short brown hair, beard, and eyes. He's wearing a plaid shirt and blue jeans. He takes a hammer and smacks a wood dummy with it.)
Representing William Wallace is Angus McNamara, a native of Scotland, he is a authority on the weapons and tactics William Wallace used.
"I think Sophie and Joan play on this god thing a little to much," Angus said, "Wallace was religious as well but he knew that battles are won by the power of a man's will."
Born sometime in 1270, Wallace saw first hand the treacherous actions of Edward the First aka Longshanks. When his father and brother were murdered, Wallace was taken by his uncle Argyle and educated both mentally and physically. Year later, Wallace returned and married a local girl. When the local lord found out of this marriage(since English lords had primae noctis or the right to bed newly married women) had the girl killed. Wallace would defeat the English and would start his rebellion against the English.
At the Battle of Sterling, Wallace and a combine Scottish army defeated the English. Now name protector of Scotland, Wallace continued the war. However, political infighting caused the Scottish to betray Wallace at the Battle of Falkirk. Wallace managed to escape and continued a guerrilla war on the English and getting revenge on the nobles who betrayed him. Wallace was captured during a meeting with Robert the Bruce and convicted by the English for treason. After Wallace was choked, racked and disemboweled alive, the English gave Wallace a chance for mercy is he swore loyalty to the King.
However, with the last of his strength, Wallace screamed for freedom for his people and he was beheaded. After his death, the Scottish won their freedom and is considered a patriot in modern day Scotland.
"Joan's has no chance against William, instead of being burned at the stake, her head will be cut off by William." Angus said with a grin.
But how would the protector and patriot of Scotland fair against the Maiden of Orleans, Joan of Arc.
"I have to give it to Joan, her armor and protect her from most of Wallace's weapons," Dr. Diaz said.
"This is Wallace's fight, his weapons are meant to either go through armor or cut through unarmored areas," Jesse said.
Both come in with medieval cache of weapons.
Joan of Arc Weapons:
Flanged Mace
French Arming Sword
Steel Crossbow
Morningstar
William Wallace Weapons:
War Hammer
Claymore
Ettrick Longbow
Ball and Chain
In our first series of test, we examine the warriors close range weapons, Joan smashes in with:
The Flanged Mace, a mace that can crush bone.
(Shows Joan caving in a English knights skull with the mace.)
Steel
Length: 2 feet
Weight 5 pounds
"This is your standard medieval mace used in Joan's time," Sophie said, "This can break bone and will destroy Wallace."
"OK, we have a gel dummy for you to destroy," Matthew said, "We want to brain this dummy."
"You bet," Sophie said.
With her mace in the hand, she approached the dummy and waited for Matthew for the signal.
"ATTACK!" Matthew yelled.
With a war cry, Sophie smashed the mace into the dummy's head. The dummy's head exploded in a mess of fake blood and bone. After that, Dr. Diaz came in to check the carnage.
"Well, if you see the gray matter, your dead," Dr. Diaz said.
"See that Angus, Billy won't survive this," Sophie bragged.
"Your hitting a half a man that doesn't move, but I have a weapon that's lighter and can go through armor." Angus said.
When it came to short range, Wallace weapon of choice was:
The War Hammer, A weapon that had a pike to rip open armor and a blunt end to smash heads.
(Shows Wallace hit a knight with the pike end of hammer in helmet, and blood flying out of the hole.)
Wood shaft and Steel head
Length: 27 inches
Weight: 2 pounds
"The War Hammer is what Wallace would use to beat a knight to death, it was weapon to be feared," Angus said.
"OK we have the same test, but instead of one we gave you two," Matthew said, "We want you to hit the first one with the blunt end and the second one will have a helmet on, hit it with the pike end,"
"Time to let the psychotic peasant girl meet God," Angus said.
After that, Angus walked up the two dummies and had his war hammer at the ready.
"ATTACK!" Matthew said.
Angus roared as he took the blunt end of the hammer and smashed it into the first dummy's head. The blow caused the head the crack at several places. He then switched targets and slammed down on helmeted dummy with the pike end. The pike went through the armor and penetrated the skull. Angus left the hammer in the skull and Dr. Diaz stepped in to check the damage.
"OK, the first one fractured the skull, which means bleeding in the brain, its a mortal wound but not a instant kill," Dr. Diaz explained, "The second one on the other hand, the pike did its job and got through the armor and caused a instant kill."
"I think your little nut case is done for Sophie," Angus said in sarcasm.
"Whatever, Billy won't even get that weapon close because Joan would have dropped him with the mace," Sophie said.
Joan's Flanged Mace or Wallace's War Hammer, who has the superior short range weapon.
"It's close but the numbers we ran show that the mace has better killing potential than the War Hammer," Jesse said.
In Short Range Weapons, EDGE: Joan of Arc
Now our warriors pull out their mid range swords. Joan comes to battle with:
French Arming Sword, a deadly straight blade from medieval France.
(Shows Joan kill a English archer with a thrust to the chest with the Arming Sword.)
Steel
Length: 3 feet
Weight: 3 pounds
"The French Arming Sword was a straight sword with a narrow tip, it made it easy to get between gaps in plate armor," Sophie said.
"OK we have a test for you, we want you to hit this gel torso with a replica William Wallace's riveted chain mail," Matthew said.
"Sorry Billy, but I going to have to ruin your nice little shirt," Sophie said mockingly to the gel torso.
With her weapon in hand, Sophie waited for Matthew's signal.
"GO!" Matthew yelled.
Sophie gave a war cry and she thrusts the sword into the chain mail. The sword penetrated the chain mail and went several inches into the dummy. After getting the sword out, Dr. Diaz looked at the wound.
"This is the best shot you could get, you hit the aorta, which means he bleeds out in a matter of seconds and die," Dr. Diaz said.
"Seems like your little tin shirt won't protect you," Sophie bragged to Angus.
"Whatever, the sword Wallace used will keep you at a distance and will take your head off," Angus retorted.
Wallace's mid range weapon was one of the biggest sword used in combat:
The Claymore, A sword that can lob of limbs.
(Shows Wallace decapitating a English knight with the Claymore.)
Steel
Length: 4 feet
Weight: 5 pounds
"This can cut a man in half," Angus said, "I'll cut your arms, your legs from under you or Wallace's specialty, beheading people."
"OK Angus, this is our test," Matthew said, "We have a gel dummy clad in steel plate armor and helmet, we ant you to behead this sucker."
"I got some to see rather than visions," Angus said.
Angus walked up to the armor clad dummy and got ready with his claymore.
"GO!" Matthew yelled.
With a war cry, Angus swung the big sword towards the neck of the dummy. The sword went straight through the dummy's neck and the head fell to the ground. After that, Dr. Diaz walked in to check the damage.
"Well all I can say is this man is dead, this person's head would still be alive for a few moment before dying," Dr. Diaz said.
"This is ridiculous, this is just a big dumb weapon that you simply swing and hope you hit something," Sophie said disgust.
"You don't even know how to wield this weapon, Wallace was a expert with this weapon and it will preform in the simulation," Angus retorted in anger.
Joan's French Arming Sword or Wallace's Claymore, which mid range weapon give their warrior the edge?
"While the Arming Sword can go through Wallace's armor, the Claymore is a foot and a half longer and will do massive damage wherever Joan don't have armor," Jesse explained.
In Mid Range Weapons, EDGE: William Wallace
Now our warriors pull out their long range weapons. Joan comes in with:
The Steel Crossbow, A murderous mechanical monster.
(Shows Joan firing the steel crossbow, the bolt going into a English soldier throat.)
Steel Crossbow:
Steel and Wood
Length: two feet
Weight: 6 pounds
"This is the original sniper rifle, This thing can fire bolts at 70 to 100 hundred feet." Sophie said.
"OK we have three targets, you'll get ten bolts to take out the targets," Matthew said.
Sophie had the steel crossbow already loaded, walked up to firing line and aimed down range.
"FIRE!" Matthew yelled.
Sophie fired the first bolt and it missed the first dummy. Sophie began the reloading process, which took a minute to reload. When she loaded, she fired crossbow and hit the dummy in the throat. After another reload, Sophie fired again and hit the dummy in the chest. Another reload and fire, the bolt hit the dummy in the heart. Satisfied with her work, Sophie lowered her crossbow and let Dr. Diaz came in to check the damage.
"This is great aim, first hit was in the throat he's dead," Dr. Diaz said, "The next shot hit the aorta, he's dead and the last shot, in the heart, he's dead."
"While you were very accurate, the reload time worries me," Jesse said.
"That won't matter, one shot with this and Billy won't get close to Joan," Sophie said.
"Ya, you bet on that," Angus said, "Once Joan is reloading, Wallace can unleash a torrent of arrows at her."
Wallace long range weapon of choice is:
The Ettrick Longbow, a longbow that was used by the archers of Ettrick Forest.
(Shows Wallace draw a arrow, notches it, fires and the arrow hits a English soldier in the throat.)
Wood
Length: 5 feet
Weight: 4 pounds
"This longbow was used by the archers from the forest of the same same," Angus said, "Unlike that crossbow, I can fire several of these in a minute."
"Alright, we have the same test set up," Matthew said, "Lets get to it."
Angus walked up to the firing line with his longbow in his hand and a quiver of arrows on his back. He waits for Matthew's signal.
"FIRE!" Matthew yelled.
Angus took a arrow from his quiver and notched his arrow and aimed at the first dummy and fired. The arrow flew and hit the dummy in the side, Angus quickly reloaded and put his next arrow into the dummy's chest. He took aim at the second dummy, fired and missed. Another arrow hit the second dummy in the throat. Taking aim at the last dummy, Angus fired and missed. Reloading, Angus fire again and hits the chest of the last dummy. After that, Angus relented and Dr. Diaz came in to check the damage.
"OK, first shot the first one isn't lethal but the rest were kills," Dr. Diaz said.
"Did you see how many times he missed, that is not a effective weapon," Sophie said.
"Whatever, like I said, once you fire that one bolt, Wallace has that one minute to rain down arrows that will kill you," Angus answered.
Joan's Steel Crossbow or William's Ettrick Longbow, which long range weapon gives their warrior the edge.
"This is a tough call and when I run the numbers, the steel crossbow slightly edged out the Ettrick Longbow," Jesse said.
In Long Range Weapons, EDGE: Joan of Arc
Now to finish the test, the warriors bring in their special weapons. Joan of Arc comes in with:
The Morningstar, A heavy ball of brutality swung on a chain.
(Shows Joan killing a English soldier by caving his skull in with a moringstar.)
Iron, wood, and steel
Length: 3 feet
Weight: 8 pounds
"The moringstar is special version of a flail, it has a spiked ball on a chain that connected to a shaft," Sophie said. "This thing is a deadly weapon."
"OK then, we have a gel dummy for you to take a whack at," Matthew said.
Sophie waled up to the dummy wearing a special Kevlar armor on to protect her. She readies her moringstar and wait for Matthew's signal.
"ATTACK!" Matthew yelled.
With a war cry, Sophie swung the moringstar and it the dummy in the side of the head, breaking the neck. She then does a overhand strike and smashes the head in. After that, Dr. Diaz walks in to check the damage.
"This is as good as it gets, first shot broke the neck, next shot caved in the skull, both are kill shots," Dr. Diaz said.
"Nice show but I have a heavy hitting weapon that can destroy Joan," Angus said.
"I can't wait to see this waste of time," Sophie said in sarcasm.
William Wallace comes in with:
The Ball and Chain, a heavy ball attached to a chain that can be used up close or thrown at a opponent.
(Shows William Wallace beating a English knight to death with the ball and chain.)
Iron Ball and Steel Chain
Length: 3 feet
Weight: 12 pounds
"This mean weapon can be used to hit some one at close range and crush bones, or can be used to throw at a shield line," Angus said.
"We've seen this weapon as a long range weapon, now we want you to use this as a close range weapon," Matthew said, "We have the same weapon for you."
Angus walked up to the dummy and waited for Matthew's signal.
"ATTACK!" Matthew yelled.
With a mighty roar, Angus used a overhand strike with the ball and chain. When the ball hit the dummy, the head exploded in a shower of blood and bone. After that, Dr. Diaz came in to look at the damage.
"You literally brained this dummy, what ever you hit, it will hurt or killed," Dr. Diaz said.
"HA, that is a pathetic weapon, its clumsy and heavy," Sophie said smugly, "The moringstar is ten time a better weapon than that clumsy weapon."
"Did you see what I did, if I hit that little French nut case, she's dead," Angus said, "And I also have the option to throw this thing as well."
Joan's Morningstar or William's Ball and Chain, which special weapon gives their warrior the edge.
"This is another hard one, but the ball and chain better damage and the option to throw it, so it gets the edge," Jesse said.
In Special Weapon, EDGE: William Wallace
With our testing complete, we are one step closer to seeing who is the Deadliest Fictional Warrior.
Review:
In Short Range Weapons, Joan's flanged mace destroyed William's War Hammer.
EDGE: Joan of Arc
In Mid Range Weapons, William's Claymore decapitated Joan's French Arming Sword.
EDGE: William Wallace
In Long Range Weapons, Joan's Steel Crossbow out shot William's Ettrick Longbow.
EDGE: Joan of Arc
And in Special Weapons, William's Ball and Chain gave Joan's Morningstar a beat down
EDGE: William Wallace
Jesse will simulate a one on one show down five thousand times. Joan of Arc or William Wallace, Who will be the Deadliest Fictional Warrior.
Jesse hits the enter button to start the battle.
The Battle:
In a forest that transcends space and time, Joan of Arc was praying to god. She was hoping for a French victory against the English. She got up and walked up to her horse but heard someone walking towards her. When she turned to see who it was, a tall man wearing a plaid kilt. This was the Scottish rebel William Wallace, who was coming back to his camp from a battle with the English. His blue eye's met hers and both looked at each other with suspicion.
Finally Joan decided this was an assassin sent by the English and grabbed her steel crossbow, aimed it and fired. The bolt flew towards him but Wallace managed to side step it. Wallace pulled out his Ettrick longbow while Joan tried to reload her crossbow. Wallace notched his arrow and fired, the arrow hit Joan flush in the chest but it was deflected by her armor. The blow force her to drop the crossbow and she pulled out her flanged mace and ran into the woods.
Wallace chased her into the woods and had his longbow at the ready. When he rounded a tree, Joan came out and hit the bow with the mace and broke it. Her sudden strike made Wallace back up, he dropped the bow and pulled out his war hammer. Both warriors circled each other before Wallace began to swing the hammer at Joan. Joan backed up and dodge the swings, she then took swings at him as well. The two exchanged blows until Joan managed to smack Wallace's war hammer with her mace.
The blow made Wallace retreat and Joan chased him with her mace. Wallace managed to get his ball and chain out and swung it at Joan. The blow it her in the chest and dented her armor. Joan hit the ground with the air knocked out of her. With her mace gone from her grip, she pulled out her Morningstar. As Wallace attempted a overhand strike with the ball and chain but Joan managed to roll away and get back up. She began to spin the spiked ball of the morningstar. She then swung and the spike ball hit William in the arm, forcing him to drop the ball and chain and to the ground. Wallace managed to get up just as Joan got the spiked ball spinning. As she was just to swing the morningstar, Wallace punched Joan with a wicked right cross.
The blow caught Joan by surpise and she hit the ground and let the morningstar. William allowed her to get back up and both decided it was time to bring in their main blades. Joan drew her arming sword from her side, while Wallace drew his claymore from his back. The two again circled each other until Wallace took a few swings from his claymore, which Joan barely managed to dodge. Joan managed to take a few swings and a stab but they were all blocked by Wallace. Wallace then did a spinning swings that force Joan to fall backwards. Realizing she will not win a sword fight with Wallace, Joan grabbed a hand full of dirt and threw it in Wallace's face.
The dirt blinded Wallace enough to allow Joan to get up and make a break for her horse. When Wallace was able to see again, he looked around to spot Joan. He then heard hooves coming his direction. He turned to see Joan on her horse with her arming sword in the air. Wallace held his sword and roared in defiance, and Joan let out a battle cry. As the horse got within range, Wallace looked like he as going to strike at Joan, but the strike is low, into the horse. The horse topples forward and Joan is launched in the air and hits the ground. As Joan gets to her knees, he last sight is Wallace with his claymore. Wallace takes his claymore and takes a big swing. The huge blade decapitates Joan, her head rolling a few feet and her body slumping to the ground.
With his victory secured, Wallace raised his Claymore and screams:
"FREEDOM!"
OVERALL WINNER: WILLIAM WALLACE
"When I ran the simulation, I saw that William Wallace won 2,698 battles to Joan of Arc's 2,302 battles won," Jesse explained
William Wallace's Claymore sword proved to be his mos Effective Weapon.
William Wallace Weapon Effectiveness:
War Hammer- 46%
Claymore- 60%
Ettrick Longbow- 49%
Ball and Chain- 52%
Joan of Arc's Flanged Mace was her most effective weapon but it could not save her from the ferocious Scotsman.
Joan of Arc Weapon Effectiveness:
Flanged Mace- 54%
French Arming Sword- 40%
Steel Crossbow- 51%
Mornigstar- 48%
"This came down the fact that Joan didn't protect herself from Wallace's weapon and the fact Joan more of a inspirational leader and not warrior," Matthew explained.
"I knew all along the William Wallace would win, he is the embodiment of the Deadliest Warrior," Angus said with a smile
(The last scene shows Wallace roaring in victory over the headless body of Joan.)
Next Time on Deadliest Fictional Warrior, watch two tough cops from different coast go head to head as:
(Shows a tall man with blue eyes and brown hair. He's wearing a gray suit jacket, white collared shirt and tie, gray pants and black shoes. He points a huge revolver at the screen.)
Inspector Harry Callahan, San Francisco's hard nosed cop who will do anything he believes is justice.
(Shows Dirty Harry killing the Scorpio Killer with a shot to the chest with his signature revolver.)
vs.
(Shows a man with gray eyes and short brown hair. He's wearing a white tank top, black pants and tennis shoes. He points his pistol at the screen as well.)
Detective John McClane, The maverick NYPD detective who has to be the hero, cause no one else wants do.
(Shows John getting in a firefight with Hans Gruber men.)
Who will be the Deadliest Fictional Warrior, Stay tuned!