Trigger-Warning
This chapter contains mentions of torture, death and suicide.
Harry had a smile on his face while he walked down the corridor of Hogwarts, his hand's in his pockets and Dawn on his shoulder. He was actually whistling a simple tune he had heard on the wizarding wireless this morning. It was a day after th fight with Draco and his goons but he couldn't care less.
Of course, Professor McGonagall tore into them while they were in the Hospital wing, took points and handed out detention. What had vexed Harry at that point was that while she yelled at them, the stern head of house never tore into him, never called him out. es he was yelled at too, but only as part of the group. Once again he was the exception, he was the golden boy and he HATED it.
It made him so mad that he had stomped off without Professor McGonagall's consent and just moved to the Gryffindor common room.
Yet, what happened after that was what had given him the good mood the last evening and the entire morning.
Harry sat in the common room on a couch, staring into the crackling flames in front of him. Dawn had huddled into his lap, where he was petting her dark feathers. The phoenix cooed softly due to the ministration, trying to calm his boiling nerves and thoughts.
He knew he should be pissed because of the detention he was getting. That would be normal, but while he was pissed to no end and annoyed, he knew it was not wrong he got punished. He knew he was lucky that no one knew he had taken Malfoys broom or it would have been worse.
He was angry at McGonagall because she treated him like a raw egg! He was pissed because it seemed no matter what he did he couldn't stir wrong for those people and all because of this god damn piece of scar tissue. He angrily scratched his forehead only to get a slight jab from a beak into his stomach because he stopped his petting. Harry's hands returned into black feathers and Dawn purred and vibrated in content.
The portrait swung open and Ginny dashed into the room. She looked around for a moment. There were only a few people there, most were out using the last hour before curfew. Her eyes wandered over the warm and comfortable room until her eyes settled on the black-haired boy in front of the hearth. Quickly she made her way over, sitting down next to him.
Harry didn't acknowledge her for a while, only petting Dawn and staring ahead.
"Harry?" She asked carefully. His head snapped around glaring at her.
"What?!" He bit out, his green eyes flashed for a moment in the colour of the killing curse. Ginny jerked back, surprise on her face before she scowled and leaned closer.
"Don't you snap at me Har!" She hissed, poking his shoulder. Harry was ready to return the angry his but he felt the distraught feeling that washed over from Dawn and suddenly he saw clearly what he was doing. Ginny didn't do him any wrong. She was just worried, that was it. He deflates at the same moment, shaking his head.
"Sorry Gin. It's just..."
Ginny nodded, leaning against him and placing her head on his shoulder, looking into the fire.
"That was just shit." She murmured, getting a nod from Harry. Both stared out. Then Harry snorted in amusement.
"But it was fun too. I mean, it was kind of exciting." He said with a grin. Ginny chuckled slightly, nodding in the process.
"Yes, it was. And it was fun riding a race on such fast speeds. I have never really done anything like that. I fact, I think this was my first broom race and I almost won!" She chuckled again cuddling closer. Harry put his arm around her and snorted in amusement.
"Yeah, because you cheated in the start." He answered, enjoying the warmth of the fire and his girlfriend. He knew his emotions were flip-flopping at the moment, but he didn't care the least.
Ginny laughed, winking at him with a turned head.
"Fred says if you don't cheat you don't want to win hard enough." She stretched her tongue out. Harry grinned.
"That sounds like something he would say." He whispered, leaning closer, looking her right in the eye. Ginny blushed slightly then they both leaned closer kissing for a while, meanwhile, Dawn cooed slightly due to the fluttering feeling from Harry. His fingers still played with her feathers.
Then Ginny leaned back. She stared at Harry intensely and suddenly got up from the couch and stretched her hand out. She had a grin on her face.
"Come!" She said with sudden energy, her face a little blushing. Harry looked confused as he took her hand.
"Where are we going?" He asked while she pulled him to his feet. Ginny got to her tippy toes and pecked him on the lips.
"You will see." She said with a wink and pulled on his hand. Harry almost stumbled when he followed her, securing Dawn with one hand on his shoulder. The warmth and light of the common room were replaced with the little bit colder air of the corridors.
"Remember curfew is in one hour." The Fat Lady called out to them while Ginny led Harry away. She turned her head and called. "We will remember." To the painting. A few corners later, Harry realised Ginny was leading him to their special room. He pulled making her stop in the process. Ginny stopped, turning to him. Her eyes shined in the moonlight.
"Something wrong Har?" She asked, stepping closer. Harry put his arm around her, pulling her closer and kissing her forehead. Ginny leaned into him.
"No, just...do you want me to get the whiskey?" He asked with a smile. Ginny chuckled but shook her head. She leaned closer and whispered into his ear.
"No, I have something else on my mind. You still get your price for winning the broomrace." Her voice was husky and Harry stiffened, his face instantly reddening. Ginny leaned closer and pressed her hip right into a section of his body which right now got more attention from his bloodstream than any other in Harry's body. He blinked rapidly.
"Y-You mean?" He blurted out confused and surprised. Ginny smirked, kissing him again, with a lot of tongue and biting his lower lip.
Harry's mind after a few moments of kissing finally caught up with the real world and when Ginny pulled back, he had a goofy smile on his face.
"You sure?" He asked. She nodded, even though she blushed furiously. Harry smiled and brushed her hair out of her face, holding her around the hip. A bug was sitting in the red mane and he plucked it absentmindedly out of it and threw it away. A black blur dashed from his shoulder and Dawn chased the bug through the corridor.
"You are so beautiful," Harry whispered. Ginny blushed even more and leaned forward to kiss him again. Then she pulled back and laughed, taking his hand.
"Come on." She said with a grin. A slightly dumbfounded Harry followed. He barely registered Dawn's return to his shoulder and her annoyance that the bug had escaped through a window crack, to small for her to follow.
Harrys memories from the last evening. There had been a lot of kissing and making out. They didn't go all the way though. While both of them had been hot and bothered, they wanted to keep that for a little longer before they did. Still, their makeout session had turned to petting and a little bit of fondling. Ginny was still developing in her chest area, still touching and seeing her breast had made Harry almost die in blizz.
Even better, the evening had ennded when Ginny had whispered she wanted to try something. Sliding down his sitting person, she had unbuckled his pants. Harry still swallowed hard when he thought of her pulling him free, smiling up at him with her brown chocolate eyes. What she did after that with her mouth and tongue had been out of this world. And he had been even happier when she agreed to go to the New Years Dance with him.
Harry felt himself harden just thinking about it and he quickly looked around, adjusting the problem real quick.
He almost skipped down the main staircase, the marble steps clean like all the time. He rounded the corner and walked to the great hall. He was quite late right now since Dawn had stolen his shampoo in the shower this morning flying off with it and it had taken him about ten minutes of playful fighting to get it back.
But it was no problem since it was Saturday and also it was Hogsmead weekend. Harry was already excited to take out his girlfriend for the first time. They had already agreed on spending the day together, first alone and after half the day they would meet up with Lara and Sara.
So Harry mind was pretty occupied at the moment, so he walked into the Great Hall, his head full of ideas what to do today where to go when he stopped in his tracks. Almost everybody was staring at him when he came in even the Head table and quite a few from the foreign delegations. He blinked in surprise, coming to a full stop. People pointed and whispered, some holding the newspaper in their hands. Harry frowned in confusion and the whispering was intensified. Turning to the Gryffindor table, he also saw people staring. He found his girlfriend at the centre, her face purple-red and she quickly got up almost running towards him.
He frowned moving a little to the side when she reached him.
"What is going on?" He asked in a whispered manner, looking out into the room.
"Why did you tell someone?" She asked, glaring at him but also looking almost like she would cry. Harry looked confused.
"T-Told? What are you talking about?" He asked no idea what she meant. Ginny gritted her teeth.
"You know what I mean, what we did yesterday. Why did you tell?" She asked, now tears in her eyes. Harry stared at her in bewilderness.
"I...what? I didn't talk to anyone Gin. Why would I do that?" He answered. Ginny shurrged.
"I don't know, bragging or something?" She said blinking the tears away. Harry raised his eyebrows, reaching out for her shoulder.
"I would never do that to you Gin. You were the last person I talked to yesterday and this morning no one was in the dorms anymore."
Ginny was about to answer when polite coughing from the side made him turn his head. Standing there, with a slight scowl on her face was Daphne light blond hair was flowing free today, no braid on it, but he hung almost to her hip. She also had a Daily Prophet in her hand.
"Uhm, good morning Heiress Greengrass." He said, still confused. She nodded in return, still scowling.
"Good morning Lord Peverell, Miss Weasley. Lord Peverell, may I have a word?" She asked her voice ice cold.
Blinking in surprise he stepped over. "Just shortly." He said. To his surprise Daphne stepped even closer, whispering in a hissed manner.
"I don't really care what you or Miss Weasledo in your own time and between the two of you but you need to be more discrete at it." She snapped it almost at him. Harry frowned.
"I don't even know what is going on here." He said, still confused.
Daphne thrust the paper at him, scowling still. "House Greengrass can do very well with its ally not being on the front page of the Daily Prophet in such manner."
With that the Ice Princess turned and walked away, leaving a flabbergasted Harry behind her. Then it slowly dawned at him and with a slight panic, he looked at the papers in her hand.
Our hero has grown up already?
By Rita Skeeter
It seems like it has only been yesterday when our world was turned upside down. The war tore our country in half and all the sudden it was over. That fateful Halloween, quite literally overnight, one boy turned it all around. Being only a year old at the time, our beloved boy who lived changed the course of history. It feels like it has only been a few days since that fateful night. Yet, it has been over thirteen years since that night and the time moves fast.
And our boy hero is knocking at adulthoods door, taking first tentative steps in the world of adolescence. The boy who lived is fourteen years of age now and as we all know, dear readers, this is the time where children find the interest in the other sex.
Harry Peverell (formerly known as Harry Potter) is there no exception. After a short liaison with the fourteen-year-old Ravenclaw Cho Cheng, he now looked closer at home, in the Gryffindor common room to be clear. There he found his new girlfriend, Virginia Weasley. Ginny for her friends is a beauty with the same red hair that is spread all in her family and she is walking beside the boy who lived at this time.
But while most would think that most children at this age would be content with holding hands or a peck on the lips, Miss Weasley is different and an early bloomer as it seems.
Me, myself and I have been informed by trustworthy sources, that Ginny and Harry did more than just kiss. The boy who lived was pulled from the common room just last night, leading him off into the depth of the school. This seems to be a recurring happening since our hero asked her if he should 'Get the whiskey'.
This was denied by Virginia, who with her body language and whispered words made clear, that she had a different kind of celebration in mind at the time. A very physical one. While me myself and I think that they are both a little young for this kind of activity, I don't judge. Love finds its way and expressing it in a physical way is something teenagers are known to be unable to resist.
Still, honoured reader, I ask you, should we be worried. There are potions and charms but young people in love often lose themselves in it and we don't want our boy who lived to do something that would have lifelong consequences if this union would bear something new.
For more on the ins and outs of pureblood heredity and what a child in wedlock means for a noble house read on page 6.
Harry looked up and suddenly he felt every pair of eyes on him more than ever. His face was turning bright red, he wasn't sure himself whether it was due to anger or shame, probably a mix of both. He felt like everyone in the room was sniggering or mocking him. There were sniggers at the Slytherin table, some of the older Hufflepuffs looked at him with somewhat concern and pity, but the worst was the Gryffindor table. Not only did Fred and George glared at him, but Hermione also looked at him with those eyes that made his blood boil.
"Harry." A panicked voice spoke next to him making him flinch in surprise. He had totally forgotten that Ginny stood next to him. He turned but Ginny wasn't looking at him. Her eyes were fixed upwards. Harry followed her gaze and he paled when he saw Erol the old Weasley owl with a burning-red letter in his beak. The old owl wobbled slightly while flight.
Harry turned to his girlfriend. "Don't worry we will..." His voice trailed off. He had no idea what they would do. His fingers curled around her elbow, trying to find words to say. The one thing that came to his mind was that no matter what were the circumstances he wanted to yell at Molly Weasley. Ginny was embarrassed enough with this horrible article. She didn't need a howler in the middle of the Great Hall. Yes, she didn't need that.
"Lord Peverell?" A new voice asked from his side and he just snapped.
"What?!" He almost yelled, glaring around. There stood his head of the house, raising an eyebrow in displacement. Harry was ready to go on with her, but he shook his head. Not here, not now.
"I'm sorry, Professor. I'm a little on edge at the moment." He said with a sigh. Erol had taken an extra lap, his old eyes searching the crowd. Most eyes followed the circling old owl.
McGonagall nodded, accepting the apologie. She then stepped a little closer.
"I would like you to accompany me right now." She said with a firm voice. Harry took a moment, then he shook his head, stepping a little closer to Ginny and put his arm around her shoulder.
"No Professor, I'm sorry. But I don't let Ginny take the whole force of that in the Great Hall by herself." He pointed at the circling owl, who finally found them and swooped down, landing less than graceful. McGonagall scowled when she saw the red letter.
"I see. Let me put the letter in stasis." She cast a quick spell on the shacking and shivering letter, freezing it. Ginny let out a sigh of relief. McGonagall turned to her.
"This will not stop it only delay. Maybe it would be better if we escorted you to a free classroom, that you can hear it in a more...private fashion." The older woman said, putting her arm around Ginny's shoulders, who had an ashen face, but the tears stopped. She nodded numbly. Together, the three of them left the Great Hall. Directing the two children, they walked through the school in a quick manner, the old deputy moving in firm and purposeful steps.
Finally, they reached a classroom, McGonagall opening the door.
"Miss Weasley, I will place silencing charms on the room, so you can listen to this distasteful piece of mail by yourself. Rest assured, I will send a pointed letter to your mother myself."
Ginny nodded still staring at the letter, while she moved inside. McGonagall stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.
"I know it seems like the end of the world right now, but it will pass by. I wish I could do more for you, Miss Weasley. Lord Peverell has urgent business to attend to, but I will return as soon as I escorted him."
Again Ginny nodded numbly. Harry stepped closer, taking her hand.
"You want me to stay Gin? I would if you want me to."
Ginny for the first time lifted her gaze from the envelope and she smiled at Harry. Her own thought from the day before flashed through her mind. She needed to be a good girlfriend, not a clingy one, she said herself.
"Thank you, Har but I'm fine."
Harry nodded stepped closer and kissed her on the forehead. She then stepped back and moved into the room. McGonagall swung her wand, a shimmer went over the door and wall. Then she stuffed it away.
"All right, let's move on Lord Peverell."
Harry nodded, following only a few stairs down and into another room. It was what looked like a classroom but with two armchairs, a thick carpet and paintings on the walls. More a sitting room than nothing else. The floor was wooden and the walls smooth and clean. There was someone standing on the window, turning around.
"Hello, Harry." Sirius said. He wore formal clothing, his long black hair bound to a ponytail, the robes dark green and onyx and a Black crest on his chest. Harry stooped a few feet into the room, staring at his godfather. McGonagall took hold of the handle.
"I will leave you to it." She said. Sirius nodded. Dawn fluttered her wings at him.
"Thank you, Minerva." He said in a firm but a strange voice. The door closed behind Harry. Quiet filled the room. Sirius slowly moved over, waving at the armchair.
"Please sit down Harry, we have to talk." He said. His voice was still strange, Harry couldn't put the tone. The black-haired boy didn't move still staring at the older man.
"Why are you here?" He finally asked, blinking. Sirius sat down in his chair.
"Please, Harry. Sit down." He said, his voice now strained. Harry crossed his arms scowling.
"So you can yell at me? Was I improper? Is that it?"
Sirius shook his head. Harry continued.
"Not? Is it for the reputation of house Black? Is it because that damn Skeeter woman got wind of me and Ginny? Are you ashamed of me now or what?" He yelled, glaring at the man. "Or is it because of my fight yesterday? So what I cursed Malfoy, he had it coming." He spat out.
Sirius again shook his head, not angry, just...sad.
"No Harry. I'm not here for that. Even though Hermione wrote to me about you, asking for help."
Harry almost exploded. "She did what? Fine friend she is, always placing her nose in other peoples buisness. A snitch! Good, we aren't friends anymore!" Harry growled out.
Sirius shook his head a third time, still sad.
"Harry...this is about something different. Please...sit down." The last words were quite forceful. Harry stood still for another moment, then he stomped over to the chair. He wanted to get over with this, so he could return to Ginny. She needed him more. Harry threw himself into the chair. Dawn fluttered over and landed on the knee of the now also sitting Sirius. He sadly smiled at her, rubbing her cheek.
"First off, I want have spoken with my Cousin Andromeda yesterday. I'm worried for you. She is a mind-healer and I want you to speak with her soon."
Harry snorted, but said nothing. Like he would speak with a shrink, fat chance. Sirius said nothing more of it, just shaking his head slightly.
He then jerked slightly, nodding to himself.
"Harry, I'm not here to yell at you or something like this. I wish it was something like that. Amelia came visiting this morning, she told me about something. She-"
-The night before-
Amelia Bones straightened her dark navy coat and corrected the black scarf. Nothing about her outfit showed her wizarding heritage, with the minor exception of the small crossed bones and crown on the end of her scarf, showing the coat of arms of house Bones. Her look you could call timeless in the muggle fashion sense, as she started walking from the Auror floo. With determinant steps, she moved along the nightly street, a strong wind ruffling through her clothes. Her steps were quick and she shot up a small gaze to the thing that was bathing the entire surrounding in green light.
Hanging under the clouds was a large green skull, biting on a snake. It was a relic of a past, the wizarding world wanted so hard forgotten. You-know-who's Dark Mark. It brought back memories long buried in her mind, memories of her brother and his wife.
Jacob and Emily had been wonderful people. Her brother had been a quiet man, not very social. He had been one for the books, one of the few Ravenclaws in House Bones. It was to this day mindboggling to Amelia that her wallflower brother would find a woman like Emily.
She was a half-blood witch and quite a personality. She was funny, outgoing and really beautiful. While she had been at Hogwarts, all the boys wanted to be with her and all girls wanted to be like her. She flowed around the school, always surrounded be a group of people. While at school, Amelia never would have guessed that her younger brother would be with THE Emily Watson.
Both never told her how they found each other. Every time someone asked, the two of them would just smile and look at each other. They said it was love and didn't need to be explained what so ever. And that love showed when Susan came into the world only a short time after their marriage.
They had been a happy family. A really happy one. Amelia wasn't someone who was easy to tear up, but only the thought of her brother with his wife and child tended her to tear up. What could have been? What should have been? But it wasn't.
It was actually a lucky coincident that Susan was even alive. She was with Amelia that day because Jacob and Emily wanted to do some Christmas shopping, planning on meeting up in Diagon Alley at two afternoons. Amelia had been late. Susan, little rascal she had already been at the meagre age of one had covered herself from head to tow with mashed peas and carrots in the time Amelia had needed to turn around and place a bowl in the sink. To this day Amelia was certain it was accidental magic because the way the infant giggled and gurgled in her high chair, mashing her hands together ins a gleeful manner, it was too quick.
So Amelia had to wash the little terror, growling and murmuring the entire time. Amelia hated it to be late. She was an Auror, and being on time was a big thing in the corps. Being late could cost someone his life.
On that day, being late saved her life. Two o'clock sharp, He-who-must-not-be-named himself descended on Diagon Alley and wrecked chaos and mayhem. It had been a massacer, twenty-seven people dead almost no inquired, only those who hurt themselves in the process of flight. You-know-who didn't come to attack, he came to kill.
It was only five minutes before Dumbledore came and the two of them duelled for a short while before the Dark Lord fled the scene. Amelia had been late for ten minutes only, with Susan but to this day, she believed that this saved her life.
Sadly it was not the same for Emily and Jacob. Both of them had been under the first victims of the attack and Susan only short meant stay turned into a permanent.
Amelia knew there was a letter in her house, a letter from Jacob that explained a lot of things, like how he and Emily got together. He was a member of house Bones, a light allied house, brother of an Auror and married a half-blood. He was clever enough to know he was in danger. Amelia knew that Susan had found and read the letter, but to this day, she couldn't bring herself to read it.
To her, it didn't matter why they had ended up together. It had been love and that was all that mattered.
Still, the sight of the Dark Mark had brought a lot of memories back so she quickly looked away, moving along the street to the place where the mark hung. It would be a long day for the obliviator department, that was for sure. She looked at the house for a moment. It was looking so normal, for muggle standards. Her stomach crunched. She knew this house.
No fire, no crater, nothing. Just a plain brick house. Except for the Aurors that were standing around, looking for anything really. Of course, they were too dressed as muggles and a muggle police force was there as well. They were keeping an eye out so no one would sneak in. Someone had already placed a muggle notice me not spell on the dark mark. Dispelling it would take time but that would lessen the work for the oblivious.
She walked towards the police line and just held her hand out, with nothing in it but her Auror batch. For the muggles eyes, it was a high ranking special police force batch. Scotland Yard or something. There was a slight compulsion spell on the batch, making muggles believe they were outranked.
One of the policemen nodded, lifting the yellow strip of tape for her to duck under. A person was already moving from the house in her direction.
"Good evening Director." Kingsley said, nodding to her. She nodded in return, her eyes not leaving the house.
"Evening Kingsley."
"I'm surprised you come out here yourself Director." He said, his voice gruff while he took place beside her. She shrugged slightly.
"The Dark Mark is a big thing. Fudge would likely flip if I wouldn't come here. What do we get?" She said moving to the door. While the outside looked completely fine, the inside was thrashed. Scratch marks on the walls, broken furniture, a few scorch marks. On the floor covered with a piece of fabric was a person. Kingsley started his report.
"At ten o'clock the police was alarmed by the neighbours about screaming in this house. When the policeman arrived, he found the door apparently open and someone was screaming in pain inside, so he went inside. He died here." He pointed at the covered person. "His partner called for back up and they moved in with more people. But when they came here, they found no one alive. The only person there was apparently the husband. It is...disturbing. We do the same thing we do every time something like this happens. Murder-Suicide, so the muggles don't search for someone they can't deal with."
He pointed at the door to the living room. She moved on and flinched back when she stepped into the living room.
The smell of blood was almost overwhelming. The red liquid was everywhere, colouring the carpet and the walls dark, slowly drying. Things were burned and shred to pieces. The source of the blood was still hanging on the wall, the vague outlines of a man, dead. His eyes were missing, he was covered in welts and cuts. Both of his legs were lying on the floor below him cut off at the knee. One arm was twisted the wrong way around.
Kingsley grimly continued his tale. "He was dead when we came here. Apparently ony a spell kept him alive long enough for the police to find him. They heard him whisper over and over again.
"My wife, she has my wife." before he finally found peace. The pictures suggest that this is his wife."
He handed her a broken picture frame. Amelia's stomach almost turned when she looked down at the family of three on the picture. She knew who they were.
"We are still trying to figure out who they are or a motive. We are searching their belongings in hope for a name but that might take a while and-"
"No need." Amelia said, cutting him off, speaking for the first time since they came inside.
"I know them. Please call Lord Black. He needs to know about this."
She looked one more time up to the mangled person, feeling sick to her stomach. The words "The Dark Lord will return." were written over him with his own blood.
No one, NO ONE deserved that. No matter what they did.
Not even Vernon Dursley.
Harry stared at his godfather, who looked at him with sad eyes. He was frozen. For a while he said nothing then slowly he stuttered out.
"They...they are dead?" He felt numb empty really.
Sirius sighed slightly. "We don't know about your aunt yet. But es, I'm sorry Harry, your uncle is dead. I know you didn't like him, merlin I didn't like him and I met him only for a short while, but still..." He trailed off, looking down.
Harry nodded numbly, his mind still trying to understand.
"And...and Aunt Petunia?" He asked slowly, not sure what to say.
Sirius slowly shook his head, dragging his hand through his hair before folding them in front of him.
"Amelia and her Aurors do their best to find her, they have pulled ever available force in." He answered, his grey eyes fixd on his godson. Harry stiffened slightly, before swallowing hard.
"But?" He asked, dreading the answer.
Sirius sighed, shaking his head. "It's unlikely that they will find her. I talked with Albus about this and..." He sighed again and stopped talking.
Harry shivered a little. "And?"
Sirius looked up at him again, shaking his head a second time. "HE concluded that it has to do with the ritual you escaped from. Part of it is 'Blood of the enemy' and since Petunia is a blood relative of yours...We don't have hopes."
Harry flinched, shaking his head in confusion. "But the headmaster said there were protections around the house!" He yelled.
Sirius looked down, knotting his hands. "Those were blood wards, wards that have to be refuelled by presence. When I took you from there this summer, they weren't charged yet."
Harry's throat felt like he was unable to move it, feeling dread and panic rise in himself.
"Who did it?" He asked, croaked, shivering.
"Someone caught a glimpse at the attacker and we confirmed after taking the memory, that it was Alecto Carrow."
Harry flinched, remembering the dishevelled and twitchy woman that had put him under imperius during his short stay in Grindelwald's fortress. He swallowed hard. He blinked rapidly.
"So...Voldemort has her. There must be something that can be done! He said the only need a drop of blood!" Harry hastily spoke, but Sirius looked at him only with sadness.
"Harry." He just said, making the boy twitch a little. Finally, it caught up with him.
"This is my fault." He whispered starring at the floor. Dawn shuffled closer and rubbed her head against his stomach. But this time his hand didn't come up to pet her. It was
Sirius sat up more straight shacking his head with vigour. "Harry! This is not your fault! None of this! It is Voldemort! If anything it is my fault, I took you, I didn't care for the blood wards! I should have...done something! This is not your fault."
Harry blinked slight tears away, shaking his head. "No! They came there because of me...if it wasn't for me they would be still alive." With these words Harry jumped from the chair, tumbling Dawn out of his lap and dashed to the door. Sirius also jumped up.
"Harry, wait!" He called, his hand stretched out. But the boy was out of the door already, Dawn flying behind him chirping loudly. Sirius sprinted out of the door, following his godson as good he could but the boy was faster than you would think and soon he lost him. Sirius still ran, trying to find him, until he had to give up, panting.
"Damn..." He coughed. Twelve years in Azkaban aren't easily shaken off.
What now?
Harry ran through the school, tears streaming down his face. His chest was burning with painful breathing. He ran and ran, not thinking where he was going just running. He had lost his robe somewhere, he wasn't sure whether his impaired vision was due to the tears that filled his eyes or that he may have lost his glasses somewhere along the line.
He kept running, only stopping once when he heard people in front of him just around the corner. He didn't want to see anyone, not Siris, none of the students, no one. He didn't even realise that Dawn was flying behind him, chirping, trying to his attention. Of course, the Phoenix would be able to catch up with him if she wanted to, her wings being powerful enough to keep up with a Firebolt, never mind a scrawny fourteen-year-old on foot. But she felt he wanted to be alone, so she kept a little away.
Phoenixes don't understand emotions as we humans do. Some are quite the same, like joy or the comfy feeling of being home, love and friendship. All those were easy to understand, but some of the feelings her bonded human could experience she had no understanding for. There was this strange feeling he had when this morning everybody was whispering and staring. Dawn had no idea what that was or what it meant. She understood it was a bad feeling and she didn't want her beloved boy to feel any of it, but what it really was, what caused it and what it means, that was completely lost on her.
This doesn't mean that phoenixes are dumb creatures. They have human-like intelligence and could understand complex scenarios quite easily. But certain things are quite alien to them. Try to explain to a blind person what the difference between red and blue without words.
The same was right now. She felt this burning, tightening feeling from her friend. This feeling she could associate with drowning, but hot and angry, but also sad. It was a weird feeling a feeling of hate and sadness combined but at the same time pointed inwards. For the young phoenix, it was difficult to understand how someone could dislike himself. Her animal mind couldn't understand what that meant since nature dictates that you put yourself and yours first. So hating yourself was something that didn't fit with the thought process of her at all, yet her bonded human did just that.
Dawn was at a loss, while she was a master in love, in fury, in pride and in sadness, all emotions she had mastered in her young life, this was none of those.
Because phoenixes don't know the emotion of guilt. While she was pondering over these thoughts, her human dashed to the side, into a room. In front of them a group of students passed by, as she turned, flapping her wings in the try to stay still in the air. Her human had thrown the door closed behind him, either not wanting her there or not knowing that she had followed him. She wasn't sure what would hurt more. The door just had an -M- on the front, as she flew closer, scratching the door in an attempt to open it or get his attention. She chirped loud and desperate, wanting to be with her human wanting to feel him close and make the hurt feeling go away. The young phoenix chirped louder more desperate, as she kept scratching.
Harry on the inside heard none of this. In his turmoil of emotions, this current of anger, sadness and self-hate, Dawn's desperation mixed into it, being so similar to his feeling that he didn't notice. Like you can't hear a voice in a room full of conversations. He tumbled forward after he had turned the key. He was in a bathroom somewhere in the school. The tiles were white and clean, some stalls on both sides of the room and sinks and mirrors in the front. He stumbled over to the sinks, his vision still blurred. His hands found the corners of the white porcelain and he leaned forward staring into the mirror into his own eyes.
It was his fault. He was at fault. He had hated the Dursleys, he really did, in his darker moments wishing them the worst of fate. but now that it happened all that was left was guilt. It was his fault. They didn't want him. They had made this plainly clear over all those years that they didn't want him. And now, they paid for his failings. They paid just because they were near him. Just like Gryph did. Just like his dad had done. Like his mom had done. No matter if they loved him or hated him, the people close to him always got targeted. People got hurt, like Ron, like Hermione, like everyone. All he did was bringing pain and sorrow. Was he cursed?
Harry chocked on a burst of laughter. Yes, he was cursed. Being Tom's polar was the curse. That crazy bastard would stop before nothing to get to him, to use him. And it would all be his fault! Harry stared into his own eyes, eyes that he had been told over and over again that it was the eyes of his mother, his mother who loved him so much he died for him. His mother who had been one of the first to pay the price of closeness to the human disaster that was called the boy who lived. Again acid filled his veins. He lived while everybody died.
Harry couldn't stand it. His own eyes, his own face. He brought his fist back, slamming it into the mirror, shattering it in the process. It stung, it hurt like hell but it also stopped him from looking at himself. At the failure he was. At the curse, he was for all those near him. Who would die next? Who would be the next person that paid the price? Would it be Sirius? Hadn't he suffered enough?
Would it be Narcissa? Had getting shunned by her own son not been enough? The Greengrasses? Hermione? Dawn?
He shook his head before stilling. He couldn't allow it. He wouldn't allow it. He suddenly had an idea. He wouldn'T allow anyone more to die on Voldemorts quest for ultimate power. Harry knew he could beat him, he knew could stop Voldemort from ever achieving his goal. He stared down into the sink, looking at that what was lying there.
Yes, that would do.
Daphne hadn't gone to Hogsmead today. Peverell's little news story had seen to that. There was a multitude of reasons not going to the small town that day. For one, she hadn't spoken with her father et, seeing what his thoughts on the entire thing were and it was important for them to be on message with this. And they had to be because she was sure while most saw it just as a scandal story that was embarrassing for the Peverell family, it also had real consequences in real life. Business could suffer on this, people who were calculating for a marriage contract with Lord Peverell, while a futile attempt still a useful tool of negotiation for House Greengrass, would look with a frown on this story.
Also, there was no way the media was around that day in the town and she wouldn't talk to them, not before she spoke with her father. So she had written him a letter, expecting an answer in a few hours.
Also, there were people in school she had needed to talk to, try to smooth this over. No matter what she said to Peverell this morning, they were still allies and would remain so and she needed to catch the blow if she could. There were some she wasn't worried about like Susan Bones since she was friends with Harry or Malfoy, to whom it was futile to speak, but others were more important to get on board, like Abbot or Digory. Those were on neither side and so she had spoken with the two and a few others, trying what she could so that no bridge was burned there. Most of these talks went smooth. While shy and socially sometimes a little awkward, Peverell was also known as an honest and good guy. Most people had a somewhat good impression of him which made her work easier.
Weasley was the bigger problem. For one, Daphne didn't know a lot about the girl. Of course, she had done her research about the girl when Peverell started dating her, of course, she did. Main problem was that there wasn't so much to find. Apparently a loner during her first year, Weasley only had a small circle of friends and those were Gryffindors. While Daphne didn't take much stock in house rivalry, a pointless endeavour in her opinion, the Gryffindors wouldn't tell a lot to a snake. That made finding something more difficult, but what she found didn't sit well for her.
The girl was hot-headed, fierce and obviously for a long time in love with Peverell. She was a typical Gryffindor like you would write about them in a book and that could be a problem since it was the kind of mindset that cultivated rash and boneheaded decisions. Also, the timing of their relationship was suspicious.
She had no idea where Peverell went during the time in the first task, but where ever it was, it changed a lot. For one, he wasn't hanging out with Susan Bones and Neville Longbottom anymore really. Before, while he wasn't inseparable from those two like he had been with Weasley and Granger, he still spends a lot of time with them. And speaking of Granger, Daphne had noticed the falling out of Peverell and his remaining best friend. It was really hard to miss if the last two piece of the 'Golden Trio' were separate ways. It didn't seem like a good thing and shortly after his relationship with Weasley started.
Daphne had seen the look Peverell had given the girl before the first task. Embarrass and maybe nervous. He seemed to not like her advances. She hadn't said anything, this was a private matter, so he kept her mouth shut. Still, this suddenly changed and still, she seemed a lot more invested in that relationship than he was.
All of that she could somewhat ignore it wasn't hers to judge, but no that they were in a physical relationship, that changed a lot. Daphne didn't want to think what would happen if a child came out of wedlock, that would be a disaster for their families and their standing in the pureblood society. And no matter how much Black scowled at it, it wouldn't be a good thing for them if something like that happened. She had mentioned it to her father in her letter, so he could inquire discretely with Lord Black if Peverell had 'The talk'.
There were other things she was worried about. And those were larger ones. For one there was the day when she found Dawn outside in the rain. The black phoenix was wet and cold, looking absolutely miserable on that window seal. Daphne had taken her in, dried her and even caught her a small bug to feed. This had been highly disturbing. Peverell never left the phoenix alone, was always with her. To find her alone, cold and miserable was quite unnerving. The fact that he wasn't tearing the school down searching for her spoke volumes about the problems that were there. After that, both of them had been extremely close, which could either mean nothing r everything so she had dropped it. She was no expert in familiar bonds, having not formed one herself yet.
Then there was what happened this morning. While she was hissing at him for the scandal he was causing with these stupid escapade making its way to the papers, she had leaned in really close. And while she did, Daphne caught something that made her worry even more. She had been too angry to notice right away, but while she had stormed off, fuming at this idiot of a guy, her mind had played out his face over and over and over. And while it did a detail sprang to her mind. The eyeballs of Peverell had an ever so slight colouring of yellow. Not much, not something someone would notice if a few feet away, but it was there.
What was worrying in this was, that she knew what this could mean. Yellowing of the eyes was a possible sign for overuse of Dreamless sleep potions. You weren't supposed to take more than a few at a time. There were other reasons for yellowing of the eyes, but this was the first and most worrying one she could think off. Taking to many over a longer period of times could cause emotional problems and psychosis. Also since dreaming was used to cope with problematic events, shutting those off could cause these wounds to fester and grow.
Daphne wasn't a mind healer or something like that, but even for her, the combination of shutting himself off his friends, getting into more trouble than usual, the aggression, the Dawn incident and taking Dreamless sleep potions were a serious problem.
So she was on her way to find someone. It had taken her almost an hour to track her down but finally, she saw a pointed hat and green robes.
"Professor!" She called out, speeding up her steps. Minerva McGonagall turned her head, looking surprised.
"Miss Greengrass, good evening. You are not in Hogsmead today?" She asked curiously. She just had come from Miss Weasley, who was now back at Gryffindor Tower, after they had talked for quite some time and was now on her way to her office to write the promised letter to Miss Weasley's mother.
Daphne shook her head. "Not today Professor. I have a lot to do today." She said honestly. "Ma'am, there is something I need to talk about with you." She said a little bit more quietly. Minerva raised her eyebrow.
"If this is about the test in two weeks don't worry Miss Greengrass I think you will be more than capable of-"
Daphne shook her head, stepping a little closer. "It's not about that Professor, it is about Lord Peverell."
Minera stiffened a little, then nodded. "I see. One moment." She pulled her wand and waved it around muttering to herself. A slight dome surrounded them and Minerva nodded.
"All right, now no one can listen in on us. You said there was something about Lord Peverell? He is with Lord Black right now, but I'm worried about him."
Daphne nodded in agreement, lowering her voice even though she knew no one could hear her.
"I think he has problems right now."
Minerva raised her eyebrows a little. "Problems...I see. Would you elaborate on that?"
Daphne nodded again, feeling a little nervous. This was a little like betraying Harry's trust even if it wasn't.
"Ever since the First Task, he is strange. He isn't associating with the people he normally does, he isn't showing up to our revisions and he has even left Dawn to herself one time."
Minerva nodded."Miss Greengrass, I agree with you. What happened during the First Task was...traumatic. I don't know what exactly happened, Professor Dumbeldore wants to keep it under wraps but we Professors were told to be lenient with him. Still, he got into more trouble as of late and seems depressed. But that alone wouldn't bring you to me, Miss Greengrass, what else is there?"
Daphne nodded, appreciating the cleverness of the Deputy headmistress.
"This morning I saw a yellow tint in his eyeballs while we talked. I know there could be different reasons for this but the one I could think of is the overuse of-"
"Dreamless Sleep potion." McGonagall finished, her eyes wider. "That indeed is worrying. Thank you for bringing this to my attention I think-"
But her words were cut off by a black blurry form that dashed at the two of them. Daphne screamed a little in surprise, raising her arms up to shield her face due to the sudden movement. But nothing hit her, only something strong janked on her sleeve, almost tipping her over. She looked up seeing Dawn, her wings battering pulling and tearing on her arm. She stumbled a little.
"Dawn! What is going on?" She blurted out, but the phoenix only pulled harder. Daphne stumbled two more steps, before waving slightly at the strong bird.
"Okay! OkayI will follow." She breathed out, moving into the direction the bird was pulling her. Dawn again pulled, marking her urgency. Daphne started running, following her lead.
"Professor! I think something is wrong." She called over her shoulder, but it was unneeded. Professor McGonagall was already running after her, one hand holding her pointed hat on her head. Both witches weren't accustomed to running both their positions wouldn't do with running around like children but this was a special case. They followed the black phoenix down to a flight of stairs and down a corridor until the creature stopped in front of a men's bathroom, the door covered with scratches, attacking the wooden object with beak and claws. Apparently Dawn had tried to get inside that bathroom. Her chirps were more like shrieks and splinters dropped to the floor.
Daphne turned to the Professor in confusion.
"I think there is something in there." She said breathing heavily. Minerva nodded and stepped closer, pulling on the handle.
"Locked." She said, pulling her wand.
"Alohomora." And with a click, the door unlocked and opened. Like a black flash, Dawn dashed into the room, out of sight. Daphne was standing a little behind McGonagall, but she could see clearly into the room. It was a boy's toilet, white tiles on floor and walls, a single line of lights on the ceiling and white stalls with brass handles on either side. Behind that was a row of sinks made from white porcelain and brass, with mirrors. One of the mirrors was broken and beneath the underlying sink was something.
"Dear Merlin." Minerva whispered out in shock, before Dashing into the room herself, running faster than she thought she would ever run wand in hand.
Harry was half sitting, half lying under the sink. His head was hanging down, they couldn't see if his eyes were open or not. His clothes looked dishevelled and ruffled. Dawn was sitting on his shoulder, rubbing her head against his through his black hair and let out a wail like a song that was heartwrenching in and of itself and spoke volumes about her pain. Tears dropped from her eyes on the boys white hands.
But Daphne didn't notice any of it. The only thing she saw was the blood that was in a pool around his legs and soaking the front of his clothes. His one wrist was lying in his lap, the source of the blood, ouuzing out from a cut right across it. The tears dropped on the cut but it wouldn't close.
His other hand still held the shard of mirror class he had used to open it up.
Oh boy, this is something I know. I know a lot of you will be put out by this or pissed. I know this is a real gut punch but I can say, it just feels right at this moment of the story. This chapter just kept getting longer and longer but I knew what my last sentence in the chapter should be and I had to add more and more. Some things changed but mostly I knew what I wanted to write and it just kept growing. I have been waiting for this chapter for a long time, I would say about the time I introducted the new schools, ever since I worked to this point.
A few things. It almost feels long ago, but Harry and Ginny getting frisky. No, they had not sex, Skeeter is just claimed it had happened. I don't want Harry to have his first time with Ginny, but at the same time I felt like this would be something a teenage girl might to in trying to "Keep Harry." if you know what I mean. Some stupid decision that love could be created by that, one she will probably regret later in life. Ginny isn't dumb or an evil bitch or something, I want to write her as a teenager who tries so hard to be what Harry might want that she forgets being herself or so.
Next up, Howler. I dislike those HARD and one of the nastiest things Molly did was use those. Embarrassing your children is not parenting. So yeah. I first wanted it to go off in the Great Hall but it didn't feel right for Harry to abandon Ginny when it happens so yeah had to change that.
Sirius. It might sound a little harsh as he is telling what happened to Vernon and Petunia. Also, you would think how could he tell Harry something like that in Harry's state. Remember, Sirius has not really an idea what Harry feels like right now. He is not at Hogwarts. He only knows Harry shut himself off, but anyone who had teenage children would also not mind too much of it. This WILL change now.
Vernon and Petunia. For a long time, I thought we wouldn't see them again in this story. But in the end, this just felt right. I have never seen someone use Petunia that way in a fic, even though it is always "her blood" that keeps Harry safe and also "Blood of the enemy"it just felt it should come together. Also, it was a little bit of punishment for Vernon. It, on the one hand, felt good giving him some pain back but on the other hand this felt gross, writing that someone being tortured to death by those he always feared and just hoped they wouldn't affect his family. And in the end, he was somewhat right. Harry was the reason his family got hurt.
Harry's reaction, I think I don't need to explain too much. Guilt is a strong emotion and it can eat you alive. Guilt and Selfhate can do nasty things and more often than not are really hard to spot from outside. This is why Harry acted out and got into fights. He wants to be punished because he believes it is his fault that all those died. His ideais, if I die, Voldemort can't get his polar, stopping everything, making his idea pointless.
Why did Dawn not flame inside or use her tears? She isn't strong enough for flaming right now. Her last is only a few weeks back and you need time to recharge for that. As for tears, she did cry, but she is still too young for those to heal.
Someone wrote that Minerva is dumb for not noticing what is going on with Harry, saying she acts bad for someone who knows what Harry went through, something I have to disagree on. Minerva doesn't know everything, since Dumbledore like he always does keep a lot to himself. Also, Minerva is transfiguration teacher and has no psychological background. She tried been emphatic, while still keep her distance as a teacher. Not the best idea but all she sees is Harry closing off and getting angry. She tried balancing helping with being fair to her other charges the other students.
I long had the plan for this suicide in my mind. It is brutal and honest. It is something the strongest can be tempted with and the signs can be slight and you can easily miss those.
Like always thoughts, ideas and all keep them coming.
Next Up: Turningpoint
Minor spoiler:
From here on out, we end the chapter about Harry's depression and work on healing. We hit rock bottom and now the curve will go upwards for those who are worried it wouldn't stop.