New Beginnings for Snow
Chapter 1. Raindrops of Forgiveness
Come with me into the trees
We'll lay on the grass and let the hours pass
Take my hand, come back to the land
Let's get away, just for one day
"It is still raining," he responded, surprised. The words between Lucy Gray and him hung in the air like mist. She knew he was withholding things, that behind his cold gaze, a storm raged. "I'm not made of sugar, you know." Lucy Gray gave him a smile and disappeared outside the cabin's door. He remained, alone with his thoughts.
Raindrops fell like echoes of his past sins into the lake. He watched as the weapons silently sank into the murky waters. His gaze fixed on the dark water, as if peering into the abyss of his own decisions. A mix of relief and uncertainty engulfed him. A subtle pain gnawed at him as he became aware of the weight of his own transgressions.
Memories of betrayal and Sejanus's death weighed on his shoulders. Sejanus hadn't been his friend; he despised him. Still, he hadn't expected Dr. Gaul to ever hear the jabberjay. It was meant to be an empty gesture. He thought his wealthy father could buy him out of everything. But he hadn't wanted it to turn out this way.
Where was Lucy Gray anyway? Fear gripped him as he looked around and couldn't find her. Had she connected the dots, realizing his betrayal? That he would leave her now that all incriminating evidence was destroyed? That she was the sole witness to his deeds? No, that couldn't be. Lucy Gray was smart, but not that smart.
With the rifle in his hands, he ventured into the woods, each step accompanied by uncertainty. The rain intensified, as if nature itself wanted to witness his inner turmoil. His thoughts raged. In a moment of weakness, he had lied to her, attempting to burn the bridge between them before it was even built. Trust was crucial to her, and he had foolishly not spoken the truth. They could have found a solution if he had simply been honest.
Raindrops ran down his face and blonde hair. The green of the branches shimmered with moisture. His steps quickened, his thoughts louder "Lucy Gray!", his cry shattered the silence, echoing through the trees, but there was no response. Only the relentless drumming of the rain could be heard.
Where the hell was his girl? His heartbeat accelerated as he rushed, desperately searching for any sign of Lucy. The trees blurred into gray shapes. Panic tightened his throat. The arena, the hunger, the power – everything had driven him to the brink of madness. Yet Lucy Gray, the singer, the free spirit, had touched something in him, he thought was lost. A longing dormant deep within him.
She wasn't just a person; she was his key to humanity. "Lucy Gray! If there's an issue, we can talk about it," his voice pleaded. Had she left him? Doubts tormented him as he roamed through the thicket. After all he had done for her? He had given up everything for her. They just didn't fit together, something he should have realized earlier. Blinded by the idea that he could be someone different, he loved control while she loved freedom.
Suddenly, he noticed something on the ground. His hand clutched his mother's scarf, the one he had given Lucy Gray. A snake leaped at him, and he barely shook it off, narrowly avoiding its fangs. Did Lucy Gray do this? Was she seeking revenge? What did he really know about her? She was a victor, a killer, just like him. It was right not to trust her; she was unpredictable. Did she want to kill him?
She left him no choice; she had a large knife, and he had to defend himself. She had to disappear. Never again would he allow himself to be vulnerable and embrace such humanity. The Capitol, a place of power and intrigue, had shaped him. The world was a playing field, and he had been determined to be the best player. The idea that love, friendship, and trust were weaknesses rooted deep in his mind. How could he have thought for a moment that he could abandon all his convictions? He wouldn't lose.
There was a crack, then a rustling. He sharpened his senses and pursued. Adrenaline surged through his body. It was the mockingjays, softly mimicking the melody of a voice. Was it her? And was she mocking him? He followed the voices deeper into the forest. They grew louder until they almost sounded like unbearable screams. He ran and ran. It had to end.
And then, suddenly, it was silent. The rain had stopped.
Coriolanus stood rooted to the spot. And then, amidst the rain-soaked leaves, he saw her. Under a natural canopy of branches, Lucy Gray stood, collecting herbs from the damp forest floor, softly singing the sweet melody of one of her songs. He held the rifle aimed at her. She hadn't left him. And he had been capable of killing Lucy Gray, the one he had tried to protect all along.
In this rain-soaked forest, he saw what he had become. A mirror image of his father. She looked up, noticing him, and interrupted her song. "Coriolanus, what are you planning with the weapon?" Lucy Gray asked, her eyes widening. He stepped out of the shadow of the trees, looking at her like a vision. "You weren't at the lake. I was worried something happened to you out here," he said with a broken voice, slowly lowering the weapon.
"I needed a moment to think," Lucy Gray replied. Lucy Gray seemed to be the only source of light within his somber inner self. And when he thought she had betrayed him, he had sunk into darkness, and it has completely consumed him. "I couldn't find you, and you didn't answer me. I found the scarf. And then there was a snake. I thought you had left me, Lucy Gray," he confessed quietly, sinking to her knees. Her gaze pierced his soul.
"When it rains, they always come out," she murmured. An oppressive silence settled over the forest. "I am now the only thing that could prevent you from returning to your old life. There's no way back for me to District 12. Death awaits me there, and I would only endanger the Covey. But you are free. I won't betray you," she said. I said I would accompany you; you didn't force me. I'm here because of you, so we can be free together" Coriolanus objected.
"Then tell me the truth. How can I trust you when you trust no one but yourself? Who was the third?" Lucy Gray said, her eyes narrowing slightly. He lowered his gaze, his eyes on the wet ground. Then he slowly lifted his head and said, "I've done things I can't undo. I've hurt people, influenced lives. Sejanus, I bear the guilt of his death, Lucy Gray. I knew we were being listened to. I should have somehow prevented it, but I didn't know how. I carry that with me forever," the words rose like steam from his mouth, carried by the uncertainty of the cold air.
That wasn't the whole truth, but it wasn't a lie either. His gaze sought signs of judgment in her eyes. What could he tell her? That he was a product of the Capitol, molded by the ideals of a system that prioritized power over humanity? That he sank the weapons out of fear of losing his own power play? "Yesterday, they offered me an officer's career in District 2," he began, but Lucy Gray interrupted him.
"Have you ever considered that it might be a trick? That they know what happened? You know the people in the Capitol better than I do. But we both saw what happened to Sejanus". Or worse, what Dr. Gaul would do to him, he thought, recalling Clemmie's grim fate. Maybe she wasn't entirely wrong; he hadn't thought about it much until now. "I won't go back," he struggled with these words, not out of a sense of insight but out of the unbending pride of his own.
"Lucy Gray, I..." The words choked in his throat. "I don't want to be who I once was any longer. This burden, it's crushing me. But I don't want to lose you. You're the only thing I truly value." He felt exposed, not by the rain that had soaked his clothes but by the revelation of his own inadequacy. Lucy Gray took a step closer, gently placing her hand on his cheek.
"You have to change if we're going to have a chance. I can't stay by your side if you linger in the darkness." An internal struggle unfolded within him, between what he had learned and what he was just beginning to understand. "The Capitol teaches us that weakness is the path to downfall. I've always strived upwards, done everything to survive. What else does the world have to offer me?" Lucy Gray looked up, "Life is more than survival. It's about love, trust, finding freedom amidst the chains. The true poison lies in the beliefs you carry in your heart."
Their eyes met, and in that intense moment, he recognized the vulnerability in her gaze. "I've spent so many years running from my own demons," he admitted. He knew he had spoken the absolute truth this time. "Coriolanus Snow," she said gently, "we can't change the past, but we can shape the future." The uncertainty of the past faded before the certainty of the moment. "Let's be free here together," Lucy Gray whispered.
As she spoke, a sunbeam pierced through the cloud cover, bathing the forest in a warm light. His thoughts wandered to moments of loneliness in the Capitol, to the intrigues and machinations that defined his life. Yet here, amidst the trees, he found a fleeting moment of redemption. The distance between them began to dissolve. He embraced her tightly, full of longing for forgiveness. And then he kissed her like never before, as if she were his breath, necessary for survival. His Lucy Gray.
"Come," Lucy Gray smiled at him, her hand firmly in his. She led him through the forest, interwoven with a silver veil of rain. The soft rustling of leaves accompanied their steps as they entered a clearing. The sun definitively broke through the cloud cover, and the light danced on the droplets, glittering like diamonds on the leaves. It was only afternoon; the storm had made Coriolanus lose all sense of time in the woods. The rain had stopped, but the air was filled with the freshness of a new beginning. Together, they returned to the cabin by the lake, ready for what lay ahead, ready for a new beginning. An inner restlessness coursed through him as he thought about what he might still have to do. But at this moment, he knew he had made a choice.