AN: Hi! Thanks for reading and reviewing last time and welcome back. This is a longer chapter and we see some interesting confessions. I know I said this last time but this is my favorite chapter so far. I really hope you enjoy and I'll leave you to read and enjoy! Let me know what you thought.

Things had been uncomfortable after the first time Kendall kissed me in that dressing room. But at this point, we had unlocked a new level on the awkward scale. It had been three days since Nashville, we were in Atlanta now, and Kendall and I avoided each other like the plague. When we were onstage that first night we managed to smile but both of our faces were bright red by the end of it. Offstage, he seemed to be back to his old self, he made shitty comments left and right.

"That's what you're wearing?" He asked as I walked to the front of the bus. "Wow."

I looked down at the shorts and tank top I had on. Self consciously, I folded my arms across my chest. "Yes, it's hot out. Do you have a problem with it?"

He looked me up and down and sneered. "I just thought you might want to try wearing clothes for once. Because that's not doing much to make people think you aren't a slut."

A frown pulled at my face. I couldn't even form words, as disgusting as it was, I was nervous around Kendall. I hated to admit it but I wanted him to like me. And to have him be so rude like he had been in the very beginning hurt.

"I-I like what I'm wearing and I don't see how it concerns you."

Kendall stood up, towering over me. It seemed so simple, all I had to do was reach up and kiss him. But I didn't. I stayed rooted to the ground. He looked down at me, his eyes settling on my mouth before sighing. The tension was painful. He reached up and tucked some hair behind my ear, his hand rested on my cheek.

"I just thought you'd want to try harder to not be the girl from that video." He said simply and then shrugged."I guess you can take the girl out of the bathroom but you can't take the bathroom out of the girl."

I blinked and swallowed the lump in my throat. "Screw you."

"No thanks. I doubt you use protection and I'd rather not get every disease in the book."

So yeah, things between Kendall and I weren't great. But maybe a bit selfishly, I was glad I wasn't the sole cause of his bad mood. I really hadn't been trying to eavesdrop but being on a tour bus made that hard. Two days had passed since our kiss. Kendall had been shitty but distance, always frowning at his phone. The guys were playing a video game in the back and I was on my laptop in the front. We were in Alabama and just finished up a show, it was the same as usual. So when I heard shouting I jumped.

"Well, I'm sorry I didn't memorize your shooting schedule so I could call you!" Kendall was shouting outside into his phone. "I have a schedule too you know!"

From where I was sitting I could see him. He was standing next to the bus and he ran a hand over his face, anger was clear on his face. Whoever he was talking to said the wrong thing because he stomped his foot.

"I didn't realize it was the Jo show and that my career wasn't important. You get like this every time you go shoot something, you turn in this arrogant person. I get that this film is important but so is this tour." He shook his head, his eyebrows pulled together. "For fuck's sake did I say it was your fault? Yes, you do get like this! Your head gets so big it overwhelms anything else that's going on."

The windows on the bus were tinted so he couldn't see me staring. He groaned at whatever Jo was saying and I was surprised. When they had said goodbye the first night of tour they seemed close. And whenever Kendall would visit the set when I was there with Jett they were almost nauseating. Jett and I used to joke about how we were much cooler than them. Hearing them fight, well half of their fight was new. I almost felt bad for Kendick as he frowned.

"I'm just saying maybe you need to come back down to earth with the rest of us. Take some time, film your movie and focus on yourself." He lit a cigarette as he spoke. "I'm not saying we break up but this is important to you I guess."

They weren't as tight-knit as I thought. The selfish part of me was relieved that this could have been some of the reason Kendall was in such a bad mood. Jo had been upset when the magazine article came out about us. Maybe this had been a long time coming.

"Fine! Whatever call it what you want. Honestly, I don't care."

With that, he shoved his phone into his pocket. I scrambled to look casual and I shoved my headphones back in so it wasn't as obvious that I witnessed everything. He stormed onto the bus when and I caught his eye he sneered.

"Can I help you?"

He didn't wait for an answer and stomped to the bunks, sliding the door behind him.

That had been last night. And when you combined whatever was happening between him and Jo with our kiss, things were strained. We were tense and we were both rude to each other. But Kendall had found a new level to sink to. Each comment was cruel and yet he'd let his eyes wander over me. When I walked past in the narrow hallway next to the bunks he let his hand smack my ass. It was flirty at first but now it felt embarrassing. I wanted him to like me, this back and forth deal was too much. I had been dealing with a knot in the pit of my stomach for days, worried about when he'd be an asshole next. But right now, that knot was for a different reason.

"Dude you're totally going to get nominated, why wouldn't you?" Logan patted my shoulder. "Breathe, Elle."

"I know, I'm just nervous. The last time I was up for an award was for my last album before Jett." I admitted, shifting my weight anxiously. "I know the tour is going well but what if it's not good enough?"

Today marked the start of the summer awards season. There were three big award shows over the next few weeks. First was the Golden Star Awards which were in Orlando, then three weeks later was the Young Hollywood Awards in New York and then there were the Tween Choice Awards in LA at the end of the summer. The Tween Choice Awards were the biggest award show for artists like Big Time Rush and myself. But right now, I chewed on my thumbnail as we waited for the Golden Star nominations to come out. This was a smaller, but still important show. The announcer was finishing up the actor nominations.

"And finally, Jett Stetson is nominated for Best Male Actor for Chasing Chances."

Seeing Jett's face did nothing to help my mood. He had started filming this movie shortly before he attacked me. I had helped him with his lines for his audition. James squeezed my shoulder and gave a supportive smile. The announcer read the nominations for the bands. Big Time Rush was nominated for Best Group and Best Group Single.

"Congrats you guys." I said after they finished cheering. "I'm not surprised though."

"Thanks, we won't be surprised when you're nominated you deserve this." Carlos pointed to the laptop. "Seriously you've worked so hard."

I was too nervous to say anything as more nominations came out. We watched for a while and when I saw my face I screamed.

"Elle Harper is nominated for Best Music Video. She's also nominated for Song of the Summer for Night Like This featuring Kendall Knight."

The guys cheered loudly and all patted me on the back. I was pulled into a group hug and I couldn't help it when I started crying. There had been a point when I thought I'd never be nominated or make another song again. But here I was up for two awards and back on tour with a popular video. Tears leaked down my face and I sniffed a few times.

"We told you!" James gushed, hugging me tightly. "Congratulations."

"I'm proud of you."

"Me too, seriously you deserve this," Logan said, high fiving me. "Not that I'm surprised."

I was a mess of tears and smudged makeup as I shook my head. "Thank you, guys."

"Those better be happy tears I see," Liz said, climbing onto the bus.

"T-They are." I croaked. "Two nominations."

She brightened and pulled me into a hug. "I knew you could do it!"

"Thanks for not ditching me after everything." My words were genuine as I spoke. "I couldn't have done it without you."

"I'd never ditch you. I'm proud of you." She rubbed my back. "There's a nightclub across the street. We'll celebrate tonight with champagne and bottle service!"

"I can't think of a better way to celebrate."

We had a soundcheck to get to so Liz herded the guys off of the bus. I lingered, wanting to compose myself and clean up a little. When I came out of the bathroom I was startled to see Kendall leaning against the counter.

"Hey," I said quietly.

"Hey." He echoed, running a hand through his hair. "Congratulations."

"Thanks. I mean you helped write the song."

He scoffed at this. "Hardly, it was mostly you."

"Well, thank you, Kendall." I cleared my throat, feeling awkward.

Unsure, he took a step towards me. We shook hands and I could feel his shaking, we stared at each other and I wasn't sure if he wanted to kiss me or insult me.

"If I didn't think this was one of your slutty games I'd kiss you." He sounded a little bitter as he spoke. "But oh well."

And just like that, the moment was ruined. "You started it. You treated me like shit so I fought back."

He rolled his eyes. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Whatever you say, Kendick. The game may be over but at least you gave me something to sing about."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

As I walked past him, I tried to keep my tone light. "You'll just have to wait and see."

"Again I just want to tell you that you're the best fans in the world." I said later that night on stage. "I think a new song is the best way to show you how grateful I am. How does that sound Atlanta?"

The crowd cheered and I smiled. The concert was going well and I was in a great mood despite Kendick. I looked over to the side of the stage where he was waiting to come out to sing. He huffed when I gave him a small wave.

"I don't have a title for it yet, but let's just say someone gave me something to sing about." I winked at Kendall who shook his head at me. "I hope you like it."

The drums and guitars kicked in and I moved to the music.

"I've got a lot to say to you. Yeah, I've got a lot to say." I sang, glancing at the side of the stage. "I notice your eyes are always glued to me, keeping them here it makes no sense at all. They scribbled out the truth with their lies, the little spies."

Kendall was never shy about letting his eyes wander and at first, it hadn't made sense. He hated me, or so I thought. And unfortunately, his perception of me had been warped by the video of me and what the media said. But despite all that he got under my skin. I made a point to look at him during the next line.

"Crush, crush, crush."

I whispered into the mic, grinding against it. He bit his lip and I watched as he folded his arms. He was clearly agitated and it served him right. I could hardly keep the smirk off my face as I reached the next verse.

"If you wanna play it like a game, come on, come on let's play. 'Cause I'd rather waste my life pretending than have to forget you for one whole minute."

As much as I hated to admit it, I had developed feelings for Kendall. The way he looked at me made my stomach turn over. And even though it started as a game I didn't want to play anymore. But if that's what he wanted so be it. His face was stony and James said something to him. He scowled and James chuckled, apparently, I struck a nerve.

My favorite part of the song was coming up. I turned so I was facing Kendall and not the crowd. I nodded to him as I danced to the music. There was always this tension between us, whenever we were alone it felt like we would burst into flames at any second. Ever since that night in my hotel room, but especially since the video shoot, part of me hoped to be alone with him.

"Rock and roll baby, don't you know that we're all alone now? I need something to sing about. Rock and roll honey, don't you know baby, we're all alone now? Give me something to sing about."

I pointed to myself and rocked my hips back and forth. Kendall was clenching and unclenching his fists and I recognized the look on his face. His green eyes burned with a mix of anger and lust. The same way they did the first time we kissed. The song built to a crescendo and I jumped around the stage. The song was full of anger and energy and it felt good.

"Crush, crush, crush." My voice was breathy. "I guess I'm dreaming again, let's be more than this."

The fans seemed to like the song because their response was overwhelming. I couldn't keep the grin off my face even when Kendall came out to perform with me.

"What did you think of my new song Kendall?" I asked smirking a bit.

He had a fake smile plastered on his face. "Well, I think the fans liked it."

We performed well, hitting all the usual cues and interacting every so often. But he didn't flirt with me, his eyes barely lingered and when he thought I wasn't looking I saw that he was glaring at me. Thank god looks couldn't kill.

"My friends and I will see you in a bit." Kendall promised as he gave a wave. "Thank you, Atlanta!"

He rushed off stage after that and he disappeared, he didn't stick around to watch my set. Honestly, I was fine with that. Having his eyes on me made me nervous. It wasn't until Big Time Rush's set was about to start did he reappear. When he saw me his face was taken over by a scowl.

"I don't have a crush on you, I'm not 12."

Putting on my best nonchalant face, I shrugged. "Who said it was about you Kendork?"

"You made it pretty fucking obvious. But anyway, you're not the only person who has something to sing about."

He looked pleased with himself and smiled the way someone did when they had a secret. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I just think you should stick around for our set instead of going to your dressing room." He leaned down and he overwhelmed me, his voice buzzed in my ear. "You won't want to miss this."

"The suspense will surely kill me." I deadpanned, folding my arms. "But it won't be as good as my song, but you can try Kendick."

He didn't respond to that, instead, he gave me a wink before walking onto the stage. Even though I had put on a calm face in front of him, I was nervous. Gustavo had recently let each of the guys debut a solo song, it was good for publicity and they each wanted to explore different sounds. Logan and Carlos had performed a few weeks ago, James was still working on his. It was Kendall's turn. I had changed into a new outfit and lingered by the side of the stage just like he had asked. The show was going well, everyone was enthusiastic and the guys' vocals were strong, there was no sign of something suspicious until Kendall spoke.

"How's everyone feeling tonight?" The crowd cheered in response. "That's good to hear Atlanta. Now as you know we're working on our new album which means we're exploring lots of ideas. Gustavo has graciously let us each take a crack at performing solo songs. Tonight's my turn, how does that sound?"

The other three guys were hanging out on the stools that had been brought out during Worldwide. I tried to gesture to them to see if they knew what was coming but they didn't see me. But Kendall did, his smile was wide and smug.

"This one's called One Track Mind."

It was about me. Not that I was surprised but I didn't expect Kendall to be so on the nose about it. I had told him he had a one track mind time and time again. The song had an electric sound to it and Kendall launched into it with gusto.

"Everything that you do sounds like records on repeat and I try but I can't feel a vibe. I don't want that."

So far, it wasn't awful. I bobbed my head along as he sang about breaking all the rules. As he reached the chorus and he looked over at me, he looked cocky.

"You ask me why I think you're always wrong, why we don't get along and why I like that song." His grin grew wider. "Cause I've got a one track mind, yeah I have a one track mind."

My heart was in my throat and I felt an embarrassed flush creep up my cheeks. It was obviously about me, I had asked him all of those questions. He danced along to the music which was full of guitars and synth, he seemed a little too happy.

"When you speak it's like notes out of key, I give up trying to see what you're saying to me. And you'd think it'd be nice if I took your advice I don't want that." He moved to the beat of drums and nodded at me. "Say your piece, make your case and get out of my face. I don't care what you say."

Again, he was just repeating things we had said to each other. It wasn't the most original songwriting method but I admit to admit it was good. The fans were into it, but not as much as he was because he still smirked. He went back to the chorus and laughed a bit as he sang. He was full of attitude and bravado and I got the sense he had been working on this for a while.

The music slowed a bit as it reached the height of the song. Kendall let his gaze fall on me, a mischievous smile played at his face. He was proud of himself and he thrust his hips the same way he had on the set of my video and in my hotel room. He looked at me like we were the only two people in the entire stadium.

"Cause I want that yeah, I want that yeah. Because I want that yeah." His wink made my stomach twist into knots and his whole energy was sexual. "Cause I want that, cause I want that, yeah."

Somewhere between my embarrassment and anger, it occured to me that, he was saying what he had said to me in my hotel room back in Texas. I had asked if he wanted to fuck me if he wanted that. Now here we were weeks later and he was telling me again. Green eyes wandered over my body, leaving me feeling exposed. The song reached its peak and he belted out the last chorus.

"Yeah, I've got a one-track mind." He sighed into the microphone and before the music stopped. "That was fun, wasn't it guys?"

The arena was a cacophony of cheers and screaming, this only added to Kendall's smug attitude. He winked at me and I gave him the finger in return.

"I'm going to kill him," I told Liz as she handed me my microphone. "What an asshole."

"You probably should wait until you get off the stage."

"Yeah, we'll see," I grumbled before walking onto the stage.

I squinted for a moment letting my eyes adjust to the light. I waved at the crowd and hugged the guys as they greeted me. Kendall gestured to me and smiled.

"Look who it is everyone. Elle, what did you think of my song?" He raised an eyebrow and tilted his head.

The scoff I gave was unavoidable. "It wasn't as good as mine, who was it about?"

At the sound of his nickname, he glared. "Like you don't know. Who was your song about?"

Before I could speak, James cut in and steered the conversation towards our performance. It was tense and uncomfortable, Kendall was red in the face and clearly upset. When he came near me I elbowed him in the ribs.

"Oops," I said sarcastically. "My bad Kendork."

The audience laughed at my nickname and Kendall was clearly embarrassed. He scowled and brushed past me. We went into our performance of I Know You Know. I danced with the guys trying not to feel how Kendall focused on me.

"It's no lie, it's the truth." I gave James my best smile. "Just want to say I have a big time crush on you."

James draped an arm over my shoulder, he wasn't expecting that. I hadn't been flirty onstage with the guys for a few days but he was more than happy to oblige. When I caught Kendall's eye his face was twisted into a grimace, but it wasn't me he glared at. It was James.

Was he jealous? This was an unexpected development, Kendall was cranky in the past but always at me. I tested my theory as we sang Count On You. Logan and Carlos received lots of grins and winks and Kendall stared them down. When I hugged them as I left the stage I made a point to ignore Kendall. His face fell and he ran a hand through his hair. Once I was out of the fans' sight I gave him a small wave. He could claim what he wanted but the song was obviously about me.

The rest of Big Time Rush's set seemed to go well. Or at least, it sounded that way from my dressing room. I wasn't in the mood to stick around. Kendall had left me in a bad mood. Maybe it was the heat, maybe it was the constant mood swings but I was exhausted. Just when I thought we had understood each other, maybe even cared for each other, he ruined it. It wasn't one thing it was the way they had piled up. It was the small digs, snarky comments and smug assumptions he made. So when there was a knock at my door, I was irritated.

"What?" I snapped.

"Whoa, sorry." Carlos walked in. "You okay?"

I ducked my head. "Sorry, Los. It's been a bad day."

"Kendall?"

"As always," I said dryly.

He sat on the edge of the couch. "What happened between you guys anyway. Is it the game?"

"It was a game but then things got confusing. I think things went too far and now I don't know where we stand." I vented, it felt good to get it off my chest. "I know he's your friend but he's a dick. I mean, you guys see how he acts like we're friends and then insults me right? He fucking hates me."

Carlos nodded and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, we told him to chill but you know how he is. It's not right, he's been an ass since day one. But for what it's worth he doesn't hate you, Elle. Ignore him, come out with us tonight. The club is across the street and we're all going. It could be fun."

I weighed my options. I could pout all night and feel sorry for myself, or I could enjoy the night with my other tour mates. The choice was easy, especially when Carlos gave me an anxious smile.

"Fine." I chuckled. "But you're buying me a drink."

He gave me a high five. "Of course. It's going to be a great night, you'll see."

Just as Liz promised, the champagne flowed in excess and bottle service was delivered to us. Out of habit, I refused to put down my cup until it was empty. But our security stayed close by so I tried to lighten up a bit. After all, this was a celebration. I had been nominated for two awards and so had the guys. The cherry on top was the fact that once our albums were released we could be nominated for Album of the Year. Between the good news and the alcohol, I felt loose and invincible.

"Elle, come on we have to do shots!" James guided me to our table. "The hangover is going to suck tomorrow but it's a party!"

I giggled as I sat between Carlos and James, my dress rode up my thighs. I thought I saw Kendick's eyes roam but it was too dark to tell. We clinked glasses and downed our shots, the fire burned its way down into my belly. The bass was loud and pounded in my ears. Logan refilled our glasses and stood up and shouted over the music.

"To Elle and to us, let this be the first of many nominations!" He slurred a bit, we had pregamed on the ride over. "Let's get shitfaced!"

"Shitfaced!" We cheered before drinking.

"I want to dance, come with me." I insisted as I grabbed Carlos by the hand. "You guys too."

James and Logan seemed down for this because they followed me out onto the floor. For awhile we danced together, moving to the music and continuing to drink. I was buzzed enough that I felt good but not vulnerable. It had been ages since the last time I went out. Dancing with the guys felt save. Even though I was pressed against Logan and let his hands find my waist, or let Carlos hold me close, I knew I wasn't in danger. It was a welcome change.

"You look lonely," I shouted at James. "Come m'ere."

He flashed me a wolfish grin before taking my hand. My fingers tucked into his hair and our foreheads pressed together and James' hands strayed. He pressed his lips to my ear a few moments later.

"Don't look now but Kendall's pissed."

I glanced over my shoulder to see Kendall gripping his beer and scowling. If he kept it up his face would be stuck like that. I rolled my eyes and turned back to James.

"When isn't he pissed?" I asked, laughing a bit. "He'll probably call me a whore later. Fuck him."

James shook his head. He said something that I didn't quite catch but I let it go. Eventually, Logan and Carlos both found girls to dance with and at my prompting James went to talk to the brunette he had been eyeing all night.

"You sure?" Tequila wafted from his breath. "I don't wanna leave you alone."

I patted his face. "I'm a big girl James."

"Just shout if you need me." He kissed my cheek before dashing off.

It was hot on the dance floor so I pushed my way through the crowd to the bar. Kendall was leaning against the counter a few feet down. He took a shot and snorted at the pink drink I had in my hand. He spoke to the bartender and a shot appeared in front of me. He held his up in a silent cheer, we both drank and he ordered another round. Clearly, this was a competition. I drank again and sent Kendall a shot, when he coughed after drinking it I smirked. He wasn't as badass as he thought he was.

"What's your name?"

I turned to see a tall blonde grinning at me. I grinned back at him, tossing my hair over my shoulder.

"Elle." I held out my hand.

He shook it and kept hold of it. "Liam, do you want to dance?"

"After you." I gestured and looked back at Kendall. His eyes were narrowed and he stared daggers at Liam.

Liam took me to the edge of the dance floor. He turned me around so my back was against him, one hand held me tight and the other trailed up my leg. I gave Kendall a small wave and he rolled his eyes.

"You're hot."

I turned and looked him over. "You're not so bad yourself."

We danced and let the music take over our bodies. Liam's hands weren't shy and they explored my chest and ass and after a while, I turned and put my arms around his neck. He certainly wasn't ugly but he had blue eyes instead of green and where a sugar skull tattoo should have been it was just skin. His eyebrows weren't as bushy and his hair wasn't the same sandy shade of blonde. When he pulled me into a hug there was no mint, smoke or soap, just heavy cologne.

"How about we get out of here?" He asked over the music. "Somewhere private."

Nerves filled my stomach and I chuckled. "Oh yeah?"

He pressed his lips to my neck and groped me. "Mmmhmm."

Our flirting came easy and we were both laughing with each other. Liam was trying to get me to come back to his place, I was actually considering it. I was just about to explain how I had to get on the tour bus when he stumbled backward. Kendall was fuming, smoke was practically coming from his ears.

"Dude, what the fuck?" Liam asked. "Babe you know this guy?"

Kendall sneered at him. "She does, bye"

He took this as a sign and wandered off, his eyes following a skinny blonde. Kendall dragged me through the crowd towards our booth. I pulled away from him and hit him on the shoulder.

"What the fuck Kendick!" I shouted, slurring a bit. "Who the fuck do you think you are?"

His face was flushed and he was clearly a bit drunk too. "Stop that."

"Stop what, you dragged me away. Seriously Kendork, what's your damage?"

"My name is Kendall. Not Kendork, not Kendick, Kendall!"

My laugh was instant. "That's what you're pissed about? My name isn't slut or bitch or Eleawhore."

"Well, you are a bitch so it fits."

I shook my head, the alcohol had gone to my head and I was the cliche, emotional, drunk girl. "You're so mean to me! Why the fuck did you pull me away from him? To yell at me?"

The music was loud and our bodies buzzed with the vibrations from the bass. "No, he was looking at you. What's with you and blonde guys anyway? There's Jett and that guy you were just with. "

"He can look at me if he wants." I threw my hands up in frustration. "Also, why do you care who I like? Can I not like blonde guys if they aren't you?"

Kendall ran a hand over his jaw. "He looked at you like you were a pair of tits."

I scoffed, indignant at the situation. "And you don't? You literally judge me because of a video."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you fucking do," I yelled. "Well only sometimes because you have mood swings every two minutes."

He crossed his arms. "Do not. It's just annoying to see you hang all over every guy you meet. And I don't have mood swings."

"You called me a slut and then kissed me. You act like I'm trash and then you check me out." I jabbed a finger into his chest. "And then you kissed me in the music store and now you're dragging me away from guys, being an asshole."

Kendall shifted a bit. "You're being dramatic."

We were both really drunk because tears pooled in my eyes. "I'm tired of the back and forth. Some days it seems you like me and others it's like you hate me. It's exhausting and I'm s-so tired, Kendall."

My tears seemed to surprise him. "Shit Len."

"It's true." I croaked out. "You treat me like complete shit. What gives?"

Even in the flashing lights of the club, I saw how he looked conflicted. "I-I can't have you like me."

"Why not?" I asked, my voice was high and strained. " I'd rather have you like me or hate me. I'm tired of this in-between, it's giving me whiplash."

He laced his fingers behind his head and groaned. "Len, c'mon, it's not like that."

Anger burned in my veins, he wasn't going to get out this so easily. I was tired of the games and the bullshit, all I wanted was a straight answer. I shoved him and gripped his shirt, my voice was a bit hoarse. My eyes were still filled with tears, it was liquid courage that propelled me.

"How the hell can you say that? You call me awful names, slut shame me and belittle me. And at the same time you kiss me, flirt with me, hell you even wrote a song about me."

He looked away and sighed. "No I didn't."

"You're a liar. In San Fransisco I asked why you liked a song, when we fought I asked why we don't get along. One day I told you that you had a one track mind, which happens to be the title of your song."

"You're drunk and have no idea what you're talking about." He hissed, prying my hand from his collar. "Just shut the fuck up. You don't get it."

My laugh was cold and humorless. "That night in my hotel room, I asked if you wanted to fuck me. You said 'I want that yeah'. Just like your stupid fucking song."

He was pissed and rubbed his fists into his eyes. "Please stop talking."

"How come? Because you know it's true? Seriously what gives?" I shouted at the top of my voice. "Stop being an ass and just be honest with me."

It seemed like he deflated a bit, his shoulders slumped and he frowned. "Y-You can't like me."

"W-Why?" I wiped at my face as hot tears finally overflowed. "Would it be so bad if we got along? You're pretty great when you're not being a dick all the time."

The air in the club was stifling, between all the bodies and the alcohol the atmosphere was electric. My heart pounded in time with the music that was starting to deafen us both. Kendall's hands were balled into fists and the anger rolled off of him in waves. He didn't say anything but in the flashing lights of the club, I watched several emotions play across his face. I was properly crying now. Weeks of us fighting and his mood swings had finally taken a toll on me, and I was drunk which only heightened things.

"Why do you hate me?" I asked meekly. "Just tell me why we can't get along?"

It was like a switch flipped. He tipped his head and yelled out of frustration, tugging at his hair.

"Because it would make what I feel for you even worse!" He finally admitted, screaming in my face. "Because I think I like you more than I should. I think I have from the start."

My mouth fell open and I shook my head, I didn't know what to do other than laugh. It came out low and full of disbelief, I took a step back and held my hands up.

"You're not funny." I was shaking. "That's not fucking funny. Y-you don't like me."

"Maybe at first, I didn't. And yeah, maybe you piss me off sometimes." He began, his eyes were sad but the ghost of a smile brightened his face. "But you're funny and talented. You're confident and don't give a shit about what other people think of you. A-And I feel something when I see you that I don't understand."

I felt like a deer in headlights as I stared at him. My eyes were wide and my mouth was dry, part of me wanted to see if there were hidden cameras. But the way he covered his face and rocked on his feet told me this wasn't a prank. He took a step towards me, his fingers brushed against mine. We held our breath as the throng of people danced around us, oblivious to our private revelations.

"And you're confusing." His other hand reached up to wipe my cheek. "And you're pretty and I want this."

Without thinking, my hand held the back of his neck and brought his face down to mine. Our lips pressed together and his arms wrapped around my waist. It wasn't angry or forced, it was warm and time stopped. The music faded, the bass stopped pounding in our ears. He tasted like whiskey and shitty cigarettes and it was intoxicating. But then, I turned my head and the world came rushing back into focus.

"Len, I'm sorry I said all those things." His voice was pleading, dripping with apologies. "I never should have said anything. I'm a fucking idiot."

"You are an idiot," I replied and his face fell. "You made me feel like I was nothing."

Kendall let go of me and hung his head. "I'm sorry, g-god just forget it."

"But I-I want this too." I admitted and I wasn't sure if it was to myself or to him. "I feel something too."

He studied my expression, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Cautiously he closed the gap and held my face.

"Len?"

I was quiet for a moment, thinking of our duet, the game we played, the music shop. I thought of the way my stomach twisted when he stared at me, how his hands were hot on my skin, his smile. Part of me had known for a long time but I was finally ready to accept it.

"I want this too." I said quietly. "You, I want you."

His eyes crinkled around the corners as he gave me a nervous smile. He was shaking as his lips found mine for a moment before he took my hand. We pushed through the crowd and out the doors, the air was cool compared to our hot skin. Everything felt rushed and frantic as we ran across the street to where the bus still sat at the venue. His hands were sweaty as he punched in the code to open the door. We tripped up the stairs and were both breathless.

"Back room?" I asked, looking around the empty bus. "It locks."

This was good enough for him because he kissed me and stumbled backward. We laughed to ourselves as we kicked off our shoes and made our way into the lounge. My hands twisted his shirt, wanting to take it off.

"You really want this?" He asked it was almost shy. "Me?"

"Yes." My answer was instant.

Kendall unzipped my dress and let his fingers trail down my spine, making me shiver. Both his hands gripped my ass and he pulled me into him. I peeled off his shirt and he pushed my dress down my shoulders and I stepped out of it. Kendall raised his eyebrows and his eyes raked over my chest, down my body and back up. He had done this hundred of times before, but this time it wasn't malicious. He undid his belt and I tugged his pants down his legs.

"Do you really think I'm pretty?"

He laughed at this and sat me on his lap. "You're beautiful."

My cheeks warmed and he ran a hand across my back. From where I sat I could feel his dick press against my thigh, unlike the night in my hotel, it wasn't a shock. His tongue explored my mouth and I wrapped my arms around and his neck played with his hair. I rocked my body against his and our kiss deepened, my heart pounded in my ears.

"I've wanted this for so long." He said between kisses to my neck. "Can I take this off?"

"Y-Yeah." My stomach was in knots and my hand found his crotch. "I've wanted this too but I didn't want to admit it."

He smirked to himself as he took off my bra, he groped at my chest. "You ever think about me?"

"Sometimes. Did you think of me?"

He let out a low groan when I pumped my hand. "A-All the time."

Kendall left a trail of kisses down my neck and stomach and his hand wandered up my thigh. I drew in a sharp breath and rocked my hips. My fingertips skimmed across his skin, across his tattoos and up to his face. It felt so right but then somewhere in my drunken brain, a thought occured. I broke our kiss and sighed.

"What about Jo?" As much as I wanted to be with Kendall I wouldn't let him cheat on her. But I didn't want him to know I overheard anything. "You're dating, right?"

"I don't know." He frowned and cleared his throat. "We're on a break I think, she wants to focus on the movie."

"I'm sorry." I brushed my thumb across his cheek.

"It's okay." He reached up to grab my hand. "I think it's a sign that I needed what was in front of me."

His words were honest I was enticed by his eyes and his smile. His admission eased the guilt I felt so I kissed him. It was gentle, soft. Kendall took a hold of my hips and pulled me back onto his lap. He still strained against his boxers and it jabbed me in the thigh.

"Let's just do it, it's been building to this Elle." He said quietly. "I want to be with you."

My heart was in my throat and I ducked my head. "Kendall."

"Hmm?" He had his face in my neck, leaving small bites.

I hated how my hands shook and the panic that set in. "I haven't had sex since Jett."

He blinked hard, clearly surprised. "Really?"

"Y-Yeah. And I like you and I want this. But I-I'm not ready." I said quickly, avoiding his eyes. "I'm sorry."

I heard him sigh and when he tightened his hold on me I felt sick. I waited for him to turn angry, for him to take what he wanted. But instead, he guided my face so I was looking at him.

"That's fine. We're drunk and you don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"Really?" My voice was soft.

He laughed a bit. "I want this, I want you but I can wait."

My anxiety eased and I kissed him. "Thank you."

"I know we're not gonna fuck but how about some pictures?" He held up his phone. "Something to look at later?"

The last I had been intimate had been against my will and filmed without my knowledge. But not this time, this time I was in control. I nodded and let him take a few pictures of me, each one more liberating than the last. Kendall grinned to himself and his eyes were hooded. Eventually, I took the phone from his hand.

"How about I give you something to remember later?" I breathed into his ear.

He gave me a shaky nod and he dug his nails into the couch as I got down in front of him. Before I could do anything he stopped me.

"I'm sorry for everything, Len. I just wanted to say that before you do this." He flashed those green eyes at and squeezed my shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Thank you." I freed him and took him into my hand. I couldn't help but smirk. "I'm sure you'll find a way to make it up to me."

He gripped a handful of my hair and gave a throaty laugh. "Absolutely. After all, I gotta give you something to sing about."

From where I rested on my knees, I leaned up to kiss him. After that he guided my head to his lap, sighing a bit. My heart was pounding in my chest and he gripped my shoulder.

"Fuck, Elle." He groaned.

It was reckless and fun and it would be burned into my brain for the rest of my life. And for once, I was okay with that.

AN: Look who finally admitted their feelings for each other! #Kendelle is finally honest with each other, what do you think will happening in the morning. I really enjoyed this chapter. And I hope you did too. Also, I hope you guy see that I explained what's happening with Jo. Stay tuned next week for the fallout of Kendall and Elle's actions. See you next week and thanks for reading. Let me know what you thought!