AN: Happy Wednesday Rushers! Welcome back, sorry it's been so long. I've been busy with work and needed a wee mental helath break but I'm back! This chapter picks up two weeks after Ch. 24 and follows Kendall and Elle making some big choices! I hope you enjoy and review. Thank you for the feedback last time!
Kendall
"Thank you, Buffalo! My name is Logan!"
He gave a large wave and took a bow as the fans cheered.
"I'm Carlos and you've been a killer crowd!"
"You guys are the best fans in the world. My name is James Diamond and we love you!"
The audience screamed even louder when James flashed them a bright smile and blew a kiss.
"I'm Kendall, thank you so-"
He couldn't even get the words out, the boos that overtook the arena nearly drowned him out. It was mostly Elle's fans but some Rushers too, he frowned. James finished the outro they always did as they sang the chorus once more. Kendall staggered behind them as they danced and he felt sick.
"You've gotta live it big time!"
There was a final burst of fireworks and lights as they waved. Kendall was the first one offstage, it's not like the fans wanted to see him. Every solo he sang or word he spoke had been drowned out by boos ever since he leaked the photos of Elle. It had been almost a week and a half. Each night was worse than the last. Not that Kendall noticed too much, he was half drunk, half high or both most of the time. But Gustavo and Kelly noticed.
"Kendall! You were a whole beat behind during the second half of the show." Gustavo barked as soon as he was disconnected from his mic. "It ruins the flow of the choreography."
"And I know that's not water in that bottle."
He shook his head at Kelly. "Yes, it is."
"Dude we could smell your breath from across the stage." James countered as he swiped the bottle. "It's vodka."
Kendall went to snatch it back but James held it out of reach. "What do you guys care?"
"Let's see, the fans came to see Elle Harper and Big Time Rush. You've already managed to fuck up the first part and now you're drunk on stage!" Gustavo was shouting now. "This is terrible for your image and the band's."
He scoffed and shrugged. "Kick me out then. The fans already hate me."
"Then you'd be free to cause havoc in LA where she is and that would look even worse."
"Gustavo-"
He held his hand up. "Out of my face, I expect you to be sober tomorrow morning. No more drinking."
"Whatever."
He grabbed the bottle from James' hand and stomped off. After a quick shower and a change of clothes, he was settled in his bunk. He had smoked so many cigarettes that his lungs ached. He had stopped drinking and his head was still spinning. He could barely focus long enough to text but he wasn't as aware of the hollow feeling in his stomach.
Still sorry and I still miss you...
Gustavo may have told him to stop drinking but he said nothing about being high. The few hits he had taken made his head feel fuzzy but he wasn't as sad. His grief had transitioned into anger. So he was grateful to be headed back to the car after a meet and greet. The tour had taken them to Pittsburgh and the weather was dreary just like his mood. It was still the morning but he was already drained and annoyed.
"That one girl gave me a letter to give to Elle." Logan held up the thick envelope. "I think she wrote her a book."
The sound of her name made Kendall's stomach swoop. He missed more than anything but knew he couldn't afford to get upset over her with any alcohol or weed nearby. So he leaned up to turn on the radio. He needed something, anything, to distract him. But this only made it worse.
"My reputation's never been worse, he must like me for me."
It was the song Elle had written about him after they had sex for the first time. She had worked so hard to fix her image but he ruined it in three seconds flat. He groaned and turned the station.
"Big Time Rush is here in Pittsburgh today. Still, no word if Elle Harper will be rejoining the tour not that we blame her though. Especially after Kendall-"
"Jesus Christ." He grumbled and switched the station again.
"Anything can happen on a night like-"
"Everything is blue-"
"Fuck!" He hit the control panel with his fist and turned off the radio. "Goddamnit. She's fucking everywhere except where she needs to be."
Every song was one of Elle's or the radio hosts were talking about her. He couldn't avoid her or the mistake he had made.
"You mean she's not where you want her to be?" Carlos's tone was short. "Of course she's everywhere. They're supporting her."
Kendall pulled his hood over his head and rubbed his fists into his eyes. "Why did I even make that stupid bet?"
"Because you're a moron."
He slumped in his seat. "Tell me something I don't know."
4 Months Ago
"Can you believe we're touring with Elle Harper?"
"She is the hottest girl I've ever seen."
Kendall scoffed as he watched his friends lose their shit about the news they got yesterday. Apparently, Elle Harper wanted to make a comeback and Gustavo thought it was a good idea for her to open for them this summer. His friends had been talking about it nonstop and his head was starting to ache.
"Can you talk about anything else?"
James shook his head from where they were watching a music video she had done. She was almost naked and grinding her hips to the music. She gave the camera a flirty smile and tossed her dark hair over her shoulder.
"She's just wow, she's hot. I mean do you see how big her-" James trailed off and groped the air in front of his chest. "And she's a really good songwriter."
"Ah yes, tits and songwriting. What more do we need for an opening act?"
Logan shoved him a little. "You're just jealous that the three of us can ask her out. And she's really nice, you can't say she isn't. Whenever we see her at award shows she's always sweet."
"Not to Jo. She and Jett always acted like they were cooler than us whenever I visited Jo at work."
"Okay, but they are cooler than you no offense. I mean they made a sex tape, win all their awards and were a power couple." Carlos chimed in after tearing his eyes from the video. "I mean you and Jo have picnics in the park and they go to Fashion Week."
"The tape is the problem. You saw how her career tanked, do we want that attention on the tour?"
This didn't seem to bother his friends, especially James. "We all send nudes, it's not that big of a deal. And we want a more adult image this time around. I'm getting tired of not being to write what I want. I'm 22, I have sex, I should be able to write about it."
Kendall stood from the couch. "I don't know guys, she seems like trouble. And she's kind of a bitch to Jo."
"Yeah, yeah. When you come to our wedding I'll make sure to have Carlos or James give the best man speech."
His friends were now watching another music video of Elle's. They were engrossed in it so Kendall left the room, fishing his phone from his pocket when it buzzed.
Looks like you guys won't have to fuck fans this summer. Jo told me Elle's opening for you guys.
It was from Jett, he wasn't sure why his number was in his phone. They had only just buried the hatchet so to speak. They were friendly, but not friends. But he texted back anyways.
The guys are stoked about it. I know Jo isn't.
She's not stoked about anything these days other than the movie in Italy. Too bad you won't get the chance to tap that.
Kendall snorted at this but tried not to think about how distant he and Jo had been. She was leaving to film a Newtown High movie overseas this summer and it had consumed her every thought. Jett texted him again.
Your friends might though. She's desperate for dick and attention. She'll fuck anyone, even if you're an ass to her.
Is she that desperate?
Hell yeah, dude. I bet you that you could be a total dick to her all summer but she'll still let you do whatever you wanted. Get her a little drunk and she's easy af...
This peaked Kendall's interest just a little. Every interaction he had with Elle Harper had included her rolling her eyes, calling him and Jo boring or her being mad that Jett flirted with Jo. It pissed him off when Jo would ask him if she was dull or too nice after Elle would say something catty. He and Elle were acquaintances at best but he always thought she was slutty and rude. The idea of having the summer to get back at her for that had crossed his mind when Gustavo told them yesterday.
I could be rude to her and still fuck her?
I guarantee you. You could call her a whore and she'd still spread her legs. She's not a bad fuck either, your friends are going to be entertained. Bet you couldn't though.
Why not?
Dunno, it just seems like you don't have game. You and Jo are like 80-year-olds. My grandpa has more skill than you do Kendork.
Irritation coursed through him. Jett always thought he was so much better than he was, he and Elle both did when they were dating. He called him Kendork which pissed him off. He hated to admit it, but he hadn't flirted in a long time and his friends were right. Jett and Elle had been cooler than he and Jo were.
I have plenty of skill.
Oh yeah? I bet you couldn't get Elle to fuck you.
You said I could be rude to her and she'd still do it. I so could.
There were three dots that meant Jett was typing and when his message popped up Kendall almost dropped his phone.
Are you and Jo going to do that thing where you're half broken up while you're both away?
During the summer there was an unspoken rule that Jo needed to focus on whatever film she was doing. They'd go weeks without talking and Kendall had always been free to 'look after himself' as she called it. She knew it was unfair to him. But this time things felt different like he and Jo were barely hanging on.
Yeah, why?
What if we make this interesting? I bet you can't fuck Elle because you have no game.
Kendall felt his stomach twist like he was doing something bad for even considering it. He still had the skill to pick up whoever he wanted to, Elle seemed easy enough. And Jett was right, he was kind of unattached this summer. It would be hilarious, Jo would appreciate the joke.
I bet you I can fuck her without even being nice. I could be a complete dick to her and she'll still fuck me.
You're on. Get me nudes, good ones with her face and maybe then I'll say you're a little cooler.
That's all I get?
You get to fuck one of the hottest girls and you get my respect. But I'll throw in $500. But if you don't you have to accept that you're hopeless and you owe me $500
Deal.
Kendall's friends weren't amused at all by the bet.
"Dude that's gross." Logan groaned when Kendall finished explaining it to them. "Who bets on something like that?
He rolled his eyes. "You were all talking about her tits a few minutes ago."
"Yeah, and they're great. But she's a human being who I'd ask out first and get to know before I tried to sleep with her." James seemed dismayed. "And that's coming from me. If I can show respect so can you."
"Yeah, not cool dude." Carlos echoed. "And you think it'd be funny because she was rude to Jo and Jett's her ex? That's a reach at best."
Kendall dismissed this with a wave. "It's also to prove that I have game."
"I wouldn't do it. That's really shitty, especially if she's trying to make a comeback."
"Nothing's going to happen anyways. She knows you're with Jo."
Kendall just shrugged and gave a coy smile. "Anything can happen."
He shook off the memory and tried not to brood on the fact his friends had been right. This was never supposed to happen, it was supposed to be a joke, he wasn't supposed to fall in love with her. But here he was, alone and full of regret. Kendall just sank lower into his seat and looked out the window.
"I miss her. I made a mistake."
"So, you can see there's plenty of support and the contracts have been rewritten." Liz pushed the paperwork towards me. "But the label is fully behind pushing back the release date of the album. No one is going to make you do anything you don't want to."
I carefully read over the contract and took note of the changes. The timeline of my album would be pushed back for the winter and I'd go on tour in the spring. But then I looked at the tweets she had printed out.
Fuck him, come back on tour. We love you!
If Elle doesn't want to come back to the tour I'll understand. But I hope she knows we support her!
Those were just two of several thousand tweets I had received. Most of the fans were willing to support me with whatever I chose. Today marked two weeks since I had left the tour. In those fourteen days, I had stayed hidden in my apartment. I had written a few songs and had been trying to mend myself. It had also been two weeks since I had last spoken to Kendall and the guys. If I was being honest I missed them, not Kendall, but the other three. They had become close friends of mine. I sighed and pushed my chair away from the table. I walked over to the window and looked out at the skyline.
Los Angeles was blisteringly hot and in the middle of a drought. I thought of the last city I had been in, it was New York and the rain been coming down in sheets. The bright sun was almost mocking my dark mood. I pressed my forehead to the glass and groaned. My apartment was on the 22nd floor and the view to the ground was dizzying. The thoughts whizzing through my head made it even worse.
"What happens if I don't go back?"
"Public support is on your side. So we don't have to worry about fan retention, and you've already put out enough music. We could make it an EP and throw in an unreleased song and put it out to tide people over until the album drops. From there we would need to discuss refunding tickets and if we want to reschedule stops on your next tour."
I didn't hesitate. "We absolutely are giving back every fan their money and giving them all upgrades when we come back to their city. Just because Kendick fucked my life up doesn't mean they should miss out. What happens if I go back?"
"Well, uh, there are a few options. We could go back to normal, which I personally don't advise. We could maintain a distance between you and Big Time Rush. And then the lawyers and I discussed two other options."
I turned when her voice trailed off. "Which are?"
"A restraining order against Kendall." She cleared her throat. "Or, um, we could file charges."
Her answer made me choke on the air. "What?"
"Technically there's no law about revenge porn in New York, but the lawyers think they could get it brought back to California because you both live here."
"C-Charges?"
Liz was ticking off points on her fingers. "And he did shove you which could count as assault in New York. But the lawyers think it could be a good path to go down. At the minimum, it could be a fine and at the max, it would be six months."
The idea of Kendall spending time in jail was enough to make my stomach turn. I was pissed at him. I was gutted over how he treated me. But I never could justify him being arrested. Especially when Jett was still free to roam the streets.
"Absolutely not." I tugged at my hair. "Jesus, I mean that's extreme. What do the guys think?"
"The guys?"
"Carlos, Logan, and James? Do they even want me back?"
They may have been my friends this summer but they had known Kendall since they were in elementary school. I had caused their friend to look terrible in the press and put a damper on their tour. I wouldn't blame them for being mad at me.
"They seem supportive from what Gustavo has said. I could set up a conference call right now if you want. It's only 4 pm out east, they shouldn't be in a soundcheck."
I wrapped my arms around myself and nodded. "Set it up."
A few minutes later I was in my room with the phone to my ear. Liz had set up a call for me and the guys, it connected and my hands started shaking.
"Hello?"
"Elle!" They all greeted at once.
I sighed. I had missed them, we hadn't talked in two weeks and it was bittersweet.
"Hey, guys."
Logan was the first to speak. "How are you? We were so worried about you."
I looked down at the bandages on my arms. "I-I've been better."
"We're so glad you're okay. Well we know you're sad but I'm happy you're still here."
"Thanks, Los."
James cleared his throat. "Yes, 100% I'm glad you're okay."
They were so sweet and concerned but I found myself sniffling. "I'm so sorry."
"Hey, hey, hey. Why are you sorry?"
"Because. I ruined your tour and now fans aren't happy and I just fucked it all up."
"Elle, come on. You know that's bullshit." Logan was gentle. "It's his fault, you did nothing wrong. It was all him. I'm just glad you're safe, I missed you. We all did."
My teeth sank into my bottom lip. "I missed you too. Does he know we're on the phone?"
"No, he's drunk in his dressing room." James' voice was harsh. "He barely knows what city we're in."
"Okay, good. I need to talk to you. I'm trying to figure out what to do next. If I were to come back on the road, would you want me?"
There was no hesitation. "Hell yeah, we would."
"In a heartbeat."
This was reassuring and a smile pulled at my face. "For real?"
"Of course," Carlos promised, his voice was warm. "We love having you. You're our friend."
"What about him?"
"Who cares. He's not the guy we've known since we were kids right now." James explained. "If you want to come back, you should. Don't let any of us influence that."
"I'm just scared about seeing him."
They were silent for a minute. "We could make sure he leaves you alone."
"Yeah! Your personal bodyguards." Carlos was passionate now. "We'll keep you safe and away from him."
This was tempting but I still felt so goddamn exposed. I wasn't sure if I wanted the world to see me. But on the other hand, I missed touring and didn't want to go into hiding as I did after Jett. I rubbed my hand over my jaw and thought about my options. In the end, it was clear.
"I think I know what I'm going to do."
My eyes burned. I wasn't sure if it was from not seeing the sun for two weeks or the cameras flashing in my face. I pushed my sunglasses up my nose and kept my head down as my security team moved me through the crowd. The questions were being shouted one after another and were mumbled together.
"Elle, how long were you with Kendall?"
"Elle, did you try to kill yourself?"
"Are you dating Kendall?"
"Elle has no comment and you need to back up," Liz demanded as we walked through the doors. "We'll release a statement soon."
I pulled my hood over my face and wrapped my arms around myself. When I looked up I saw that we were almost to the car, I breathed a sigh of relief. And then when I saw a group of girls I smiled.
"We love you!"
"Welcome back Elle!"
A small gathering of girls was standing near the SUV. They held signs saying they were proud of me and that they supported me. My heart warmed a little as I took the flowers one girl held out.
"Thank you."
"I'm so glad you're okay."
The fan hugged me and I signed a couple of autographs. All I could do was say thank you for the support before I climbed into the backseat. As we pulled away I let out a shaky breath. This was a complete 180 from the last time. Instead of supporters, there had been protestors at each stop. Liz noticed this too because she rubbed my arm.
"Are you alright?"
"That was a warm welcome, I didn't mind it."
She seemed to catch the hint that I didn't really want to talk and let it go. I looked out the window as we merged onto the highway. We were in Detroit, the next stop on the tour. We were hitting places that had been missed at the beginning of summer before heading west then back east. None of this mattered though, all I could think about was how I would be received by my tourmates. They had encouraged me to come back when I spoke to them yesterday, but he had no idea. I was dreading seeing him. I just hoped it went well.
"Okay, I'm going to go get Gustavo and Kelly just to go over a few details. Are you okay?"
I made my way to the craft service table. "I'll be fine."
With that, Liz disappeared down the hall. I looked around the backstage area, it was identical to every other one and it felt like home. From where I stood I could see the stage. I pushed down the memories of the last time I had been onstage. Carlos and Liz had frantically waved me offstage as everything started to fall apart. But for now, I tried to think of the positives. I had written a few new songs that I would share soon, I was back to doing what I loved instead of hiding. I busied my hands by making a cup of tea. I shook my head and smiled slightly when I heard my name.
"Elle?"
I looked over my shoulder and saw James, Logan, and Carlos. They pulled me into a group hug and I clung to them. For the first time in two weeks, I felt safe. So I couldn't help but sniffle when we broke apart.
"It's so good to see you." James kissed the top of my head.
Logan echoed this. "I'm glad you're safe."
"I missed you!"
I sighed and shook my head. "I missed you guys too."
"You're back on tour?"
My answer was shy and I kept my eyes on the ground. "If you want me back. I know I caused a lot of drama and-
"Elle, of course, we'll have you back." Carlos held up his hand to stop me. "None of this was your fault and we missed you."
The corners of my mouth twitched with a smile. "I missed you guys too."
"And listen, we're so sorry for how he treated you. We had no idea he was actually going through with the bet or that he was still with her. I'm not justifying anything but we made sure he knows he fucked up." Logan was full of contempt. "We're glad you're okay."
I appreciated that they hadn't said his name. "I know he's your best friend, but thank you for standing up for me."
"How are you feeling?"
I shifted my weight from one leg to the other. I felt like Kendall was going to pop out at any moment, I glanced over my shoulder.
"Can we talk somewhere else?"
We settled on a couch in a fairly empty back room. I sipped on my tea for a few minutes before speaking again. I wanted to collect my thoughts.
"I got your texts, you know after I left and texted him. T-Thank you for that."
The guys' faces hardened and James bit his thumbnail. "We're just so glad you're okay. He shouldn't have said that to you. It was terrifying not knowing if we'd ever see you again."
"Well if I had it my way, I wouldn't have seen any of you either." I pushed up my sleeves and sniffed a little. "This is going to be a bitch to cover up."
Carlos looked like he was ill. "Elle, no."
"It wasn't b-bad I promise. He just got into my head so I found sleeping pills from the last time and did this to my arm. Not that it mattered, I threw them all up anyways. But that's a different story."
"What happened?" James' voice wavered. "What do you mean last time?"
I bit on my lip. "When the Jett tape came out I tried to kill myself. And just like last time, there was a very brief moment when I thought Kendick got me pregnant."
They all begun to talk at once. "Holy shit."
"Please tell me he didn't."
"You can't have a kid with him."
"I'm not, false alarm I guess. It would be just my luck." I gave a dark laugh and shrugged. "It was from all the alcohol I tried to poison myself with."
James seemed overwhelmed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm glad you're not hurt. We wouldn't know what to do if we lost you."
"Kendick would celebrate."
"That's not true. He was a wreck when you left." Carlos avoided my eye as he told me this. "He cried for a while."
I felt zero sympathy for him. "So was I and I actually liked him."
Logan nodded to my bandaged arms. "You can't do this to yourself."
All I could do was throw up my hands as a lump grew in my throat. "I'm so embarrassed."
"Don't be, he's a dick."
"James is right, he's a dick. We won't let him near you."
Now that we were talking, it all spilled out. "I-I just feel like some of this was my fault. I shouldn't have tweeted something about him. I don't want him to be mad at me. Which is so fucking stupid but it's true."
"Elle, this isn't your fault. Kendall's an idiot and he's always had a little bit of a temper."
"Has he?"
They all nodded and James started to explain. "When I auditioned for Gustavo, he told me I had no talent. Kendall lost his temper and was an asshole to him."
"And then he showed up at Kendall's house and one of the first things he said is that they both have anger management issues." Carlos backed up what James had said. "He's always been a little bit angry. If we lost a hockey game we'd know to stay away from him for a couple of hours. This wasn't your fault."
"I don't want to be shoved again," I said as I folded my arms. "I'm avoiding him at all costs."
"Of course. And he feels guilty, for what it's worth."
"So he's only slightly better than Jett. Jett never feels guilty, not about the tape, the bathroom, and when I got preg-." I stopped myself mid-ramble. The guys were caught off guard. "He and Kendick are both shitty."
"Jett? You mean he got you-?"
Fuck. They had no idea about the Jett incident. But something inside me told me I should tell them, I would probably make the favor I was going ask them more likely to happen.
"I h-have to tell you something." My voice cracked when I spoke. "I haven't told anyone other than Liz and you can't tell him or anyone else."
Carlos had moved to pat my shoulder. "Elle, what happened?"
I wrung my hands together and the words were stuck in my throat. I felt my body start to shake and let out a breath. They were patient and looked on with worry. It came out so softly I was surprised they caught it.
"The Jett Incident. T-That video. H-He forced himself on me and I got pregnant."
It was like all the air had been sucked from the room. No one said anything for a moment and I immediately regretted telling them. What if they didn't believe me?
"I shouldn't have said anything, I'm sorry." I hastily wiped a tear that fell down my cheek. "I-"
"What?" Logan shook his head. "I'm so sorry that happened to you."
"God, Elle it's not your fault okay? It's absolutely not your fault."
No one had told me that in a long time. It was comforting to hear and I let myself cry a little, I held onto their hands. Having it a little more out in the open was liberating. And now that I had told them it all spilled out of me.
"H-He put something in my drink and he held me down in the bathroom. And I tried to go to the police but he put the video out to stop me. I-I didn't want to, so being with Kendick was a really big step for me and then he-"
"He fucking made it worse. Shit, does he know? Why would he make a bet with him?"
"I was scared to tell him, to tell anyone. That's why him sharing those pictures is such a big fucking deal. I was finally able to get close to guys again but he fucked it up. H-He made me want to die just like Jett did. I-I tried then too but this was so much worse. It hurt so much more."
James cautiously hugged me. "It's all going to be alright. You're so damn brave."
"Can you keep him away from me? I know we're on tour and he's your friend. But please, I can't see him. He may not have done what Jett did but in some ways, it's worse. Please, I just can't look at him. I just want to see my fans."
"We will do whatever you want. We'll keep you safe."
"Thank you."
The four of us sat in silence for a few minutes while I got myself together. It felt like a tiny weight had been lifted off my shoulders like I wasn't carrying the burden on my own. A quick knock made us all jump and I feared it was Kendall. But they assured me that he didn't know I was back and that he was probably drunk on the bus.
"Elle? It's me, are you okay?" Liz was on the other side of the door and looked concerned when she saw my tears. "What happened?"
"I'll tell you later," I promised.
"Gustavo and Kelly want to talk about you coming back on tour."
I looked over my shoulder at the guys. "I'll be right back, s-sorry."
"Take your time."
Walking into the room Gustavo was using as an office was nerve-wracking but when Kelly hugged me, I was at ease.
"Thank god you're okay."
"Hi."
Gustavo took off his sunglasses and sighed. "Elle."
"Hey Gustavo," I said warily. "Listen, I don't want to cause any issues."
"I want to apologize for how Kendall acted. I want to apologize for how everything went down this summer. He was unprofessional and inappropriate. From his comments in interviews and in private. And especially for what happened two weeks ago. I'm sorry."
Hearing him be so humble was strange but I was grateful. "That means a lot to me."
"Now Liz told me you want to come back to the tour. And obviously we're happy to have you but what do I need to do to make this easy for you? Liz already gave me some terms but I wanted to hear it from you."
When the Jett Incident had happened, no one other than Liz took the time to ask what I wanted. I exhaled and rubbed the back of my neck, my answer was immediate.
"No more duet. I know it's popular but I can't do it. I can't sing with him. As for the other songs I sing with BTR, maybe he could not sing them?"
"Done. What else?"
"My own bus. I can't be so close to him."
Kelly nodded. "Already taken care of and it will be here by the time we leave tonight."
"Thank you. I think that's it really. I want to be here, I'm happy to be here, but I want to avoid him as much as I can for now."
Gustavo agreed with me and signed off on what I had asked for. "We can do all of this. There may be a time where you have to be in the same room or onstage but I will avoid it as much as possible.
"I really appreciate all of this, thank you."
"Do you want to perform tonight?"
That was all I wanted, I wanted to feel normal again. "Yes, and if it's okay, I'd like to do a new song instead of the duet."
I could tell that the producer in him was impressed. "You've got it."
With that, I decided to settle in my dressing room, before Kendall started roaming the venue. Once we were tucked away behind the closed door Liz turned to me. "What happened with the guys?"
"I told them everything," I admitted. "It felt good."
Liz softened. "I'm proud of you."
"Me too."
She squeezed my arm and I knew we were both thinking about the day I told her. It had happened just after the video had been released to the press.
"No! We don't have a game plan right now. Call me back when you have a real answer about suing him." She hung up her phone and groaned. "Elle?"
I heard her voice but I couldn't respond. All I could do was stare at the screen and the way Jett held me to the counter. My name and face were everywhere, it made me sick. I was shell-shocked. I couldn't form words but Liz was in my face and speaking.
"I know this looks bad. But I can spin this, I can fix this Elle." She was smiling and nodding. "We'll say you're a young couple in love, you both were drunk and you're in love."
Tears pooled in my eyes and I furiously shook my head. "I-I don't love him and I know he certainly doesn't love me. Don't make me say t-that. Please don't, I can't."
"Elle, what is wrong with you?"
Inside I was on the brink of panic but I was too shocked to give in completely. I watched as he kissed my neck and the way my body was limp underneath him.
"Eleanor?"
My voice was raspy and I blinked through hot tears. "J-Jett raped me."
The words hung in the air, it was the first time I told someone. Confusion morphed to anger and she gasped.
"What, when?"
I gave a jerky nod to the TV. "T-Then, right there."
"Jesus. We need to call the police, you need to tell them this."
A sob bubbled up from my chest. "I can't."
"Why not?"
I rubbed my hand over my face. "I t-tried, I wanted to. But look what happened."
"You mean he put this video out?"
All I could do was hold myself as I cried. "I'm sorry."
Liz hugged me tight and smoothed my hair. "It's not your fault, it's all going to be okay."
I brought back to the present by Liz swiping her thumb across my cheek. Her smile was gentle and she was cautious. I hadn't realized I had been crying.
"Are you okay?"
"Y-Yeah. I feel safe this time, and seeing the fans will help."
She pressed my cup of tea into my hands. "Do you want to try and find an outfit for tonight and do a soundcheck?"
The normalcy of this was comforting. Just two weeks ago I thought I would never perform again. Either because I was dead or the fans wouldn't want me. But here I was doing a soundcheck. I was grateful for the second chance.
"God, yes."
Liz held open the door for me and we started down the hallway to where my costumes had been stored. A few crew members and makeup artists smiled when I passed. The warm welcome was nice. It felt like home.
"Now, I'm thinking that half sleeve black number would look pretty." Liz was saying as we walked. "It's up to you of course."
"I think you're right. And it would cover my arms a little bit."
"You're absolutely right. Great idea. Now for the setlist, I feel like we-"
Liz's words fell on deaf ears because every part of my body went numb. The hair on my neck stood on edge and my stomach clenched. I dropped my tea, not even flinching when it splashed on my leg. I couldn't feel a single thing. There was no air in my lungs and all I could do was stare. Green eyes looked back at me, there was a hint of bruising around one of them but they were both filled with shock. His mess of blonde hair looked greasy and tangled and matched the scruff on his face. I practically could smell the smoke and mint from here. An unlit cigarette dangled from his pink mouth. The ghost of a smile pulled at the corners.
"Len?" He breathed.
I blinked hard, hoping that he wouldn't be there when I opened my eyes. But there he was, just as still as I was. Our gazes were locked and it felt like I was looking into the eyes of a total stranger. I didn't know him and I never had.
AN: Kendall knows she's back! How do you think they'll react to seeing each other? Elle is officially back on tour, I'm so proud of her. We also saw Kendall making the infamous bet with Jett! My favorite parts of this chapter were Kendall flicking through the radio stations and being sad, Elle confessing her past to the guys and the final scene with Kendall. What were yours?
I apologize for taking so long to update but I've been busy with work and stressed out. I will update again sometime this month. Going into to late fall and early winter you can expect regualr updates again! Things are getting juicy, so let me know what you think!
Stay tuned and please review!