AN: Welcome back! Thank you for all the feedback, I really appreciate it. This chapter follows more of Elle's inner turmoil as the summer starts to wind down. I wanted to get it up before midnight! So please disregard any typos because I am currently editing. Thank you and please let me know what you thought!

A little-known fact about touring was that it was basically a huge competition between you and other artists. And not just for awards or ticket sales, but for space. If you ever looked at a list of tour dates and wondered why an artist had a show in LA one night, Vegas the next, only to return to San Francisco instead of doing the California dates first, it was because of this. Venues only had so many free nights for bands to play and there were also sports teams to compete with. Tours booked any date that was relatively reasonable and this could mean hopping a flight for one show, driving through the night, or if you were on the Count Me In Tour, it meant a long bus ride back in the direction we had just come from.

When I rejoined the tour we were in Detroit and then Green Bay. That was because when we were in the Upper Midwest the first time, around when I filmed my video for Night Like This, there had been other tours and sporting events. So we had gone all the way back to the west coast to where the tour had started. We hadn't played in Seattle or Portland that first week because the arenas were already booked. Now that those dates were done we were in the home stretch of the tour, only three weeks to go. We had left Spokane three nights ago, played a show on the other side of North Dakota and were now in Bismarck. After that, we had four special days and then the Canadian leg of the tour. Things were wrapping up, including all the guys' hard work.

"Big Time Five officially has an album cover!" Carlos exclaimed as he walked in my dressing room.

"Please tell me you aren't calling it that?" I deadpanned. "I thought you had a title?"

"No, it's still Don't Stop. Although Big Time Five has a nice ring to it." James flopped down next to me.

"Yeah because that's what we'll call the band when I join it of course." I joked as I put down my lyric book. "We'll combine forces and make a super band. But you have to be excited."

Logan trailed in after his friends and was scrubbing his face with a makeup wipe. "Fuck yes. No more photo shoots or makeup and we're officially done with the album. It comes out next week and life is good."

"The four of us will have to celebrate. This album is going to be killer, not as great as mine. But still great."

James rolled his eyes and shoved me playfully. "Yeah, well, we can't all break records. But we can knock you from the number one spot."

"We'll see about that. I believe in you and everything, but my album is a banger."

They laughed at this but Carlos didn't seem too bothered. "Keep your number one spot. All I care about is that this time tomorrow, we will be in the great state of Minnesota."

The mention of their home state seemed to take their mind off the album. James and Logan were unabashedly excited and fist bumped. They had been talking about it all day and I was confused.

"Finally. We've been close to Minnesota three times this summer and haven't been there. What gives?"

Logan looked offended. "What gives is that we are approaching Big Time Rush Day."

"Big Time Rush Day?" I snorted in disbelief. "What the hell is Big Time Rush Day?"

James cleared his throat and gave me a smug expression. "This Tuesday is the day that the mayor of Shakopee declared BTR Day. On this day, the whole town celebrates us."

"You've got to be kidding me. Is there a parade?"

"Well, no." His face faltered. "I mean, we've tried to convince him but something about traffic jams."

"It's more of a date on the city calendar but it's pretty cool. So we try to make sure the tour stops there on that date." Logan clarified as he tapped away on his phone. "We have traditions too. See."

He had pulled up the city calendar and there it was. Big Time Rush Day was this upcoming Tuesday and the show was being promoted. It was sweet that their hometown did this. But I grumbled to myself as I handed him his phone.

"The city of Phoenix has some explaining to do."

"Sorry what? I can't hear you over the sound of my holiday." James cupped his hand to his ear. "Call me when you have your own day."

I shoved him and he fell off the arm of the couch. "Sorry, I didn't catch that. My record-breaking album is too loud."

We all laughed with each other and it felt good to be happy again. It took my mind off of everything. The past few days had been great with the album and the shows, but personally, it was draining. We had done interviews and CD signings. Jett had been texting me about how he missed me and wanted to catch up. Kendall had been wandering around like a kicked puppy ever since our little reenactment of The Notebook. And I was fucking exhausted. But luckily, I had seen a doctor yesterday and my prescription for sleeping pills would be available in a few days in Minnesota. But overall, things were going well.

"Elle?" When I looked up, the guys were waiting for me to answer. "Hello?"

"Hmm?"

"Carlos said what are you doing with your two days off?"

That was the other exciting thing. We had some time off coming up. We would have a day off tomorrow, a show the next day, another day off, and one more show in Minnesota. From there it was the fourteen-hour trek to Canada. So technically, it was like having three days off. I was looking forward to the R and R.

"Sleep for sure. Maybe I'll spend some time on the studio bus."

"You just put out an album."

I shrugged and thought of the song swirling in my head. "A bonus track for the deluxe album."

"Such an overachiever." James teased.

"And yet, I don't have a holiday."

There was no time for a comeback because Kelly opened the door. "Soundcheck, you guys."

"I could perform the show in my sleep at this point," Carlos complained. "Seriously, I could probably do it backward."

I jostled Carlos' shoulder and sipped my tea. "Come on, soundcheck is always fun. All the fun of performing, none of the sweat. Come watch mine."

We rounded the corner to head to the stage and I collided face first. I threw out my hands to steady myself and an arm went around my waist. When things settled my tea was down the front of Kendall's black sweatshirt and his arm was around me. We stared at each other before he scrambled to let go of me.

"Sorry, I uh, I didn't see you." He ducked his head. "Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah. Fine. Sorry about your shirt, send Liz the dry cleaning bill. I'll handle it."

He cracked a small smile. "It's black, it's fine. Seriously, don't sweat it, Len."

The use of my nickname made my stomach turn over in a familiar way, but I shook my head. "Well, uh, sorry if I burned you."

"Thank god you take it with ice water." Kendall joked and rubbed the back of his neck. Although, I probably deserve a third-degree burn at this point."

I gnawed on my bottom lip and fought a smile of my own. "I have soundcheck."

He held my gaze for another minute and patted my shoulder. "Good luck, not that you need it."

With that, I pushed past him, fighting the heat that burned my cheeks. The guys let me go first and it took everything in me not to see if he was still looking. Once we were out of earshot, James turned to me.

"You okay? You don't have a problem?"

"I don't have tea." My words were biting. "That's the only problem."

The soundcheck wasn't anything to write home about. Like Carlos, I could perform the set in my sleep. I wished I couldn't though because the fact that I could do it on autopilot meant my mind could wander. I spent the soundcheck consciously trying to not think about Kendall. But I kept circling back to the argument we had in Seattle.

"I have feelings for you, Elle. And I think you still have feelings for me too."

It was hard to tell what I found to be more annoying. The fact that I couldn't shake Kendall's words or that the words got under my skin. I knew he had feelings for me, everyone on tour could see it, the fans could see it and the press could see it. But I sure as hell didn't return them.

And after soundcheck was over, things were only more awkward. The guys and I were hanging out in my dressing room when there was a knock. Kendall shyly walked in as he balanced a paper cup. I could see the steam curling over the lip.

"I owed you one." His tone was light but his body language was full of nerves.

I took the cup and nodded. "Thanks."

Kendall smiled at me and shifted his weight. I knew him well enough to recognize that he was nervous. I tried not to think about all the times I had seen the way his eyebrows pulled together and how he ran his hand through his hair. The day in Nashville stuck out like it had happened yesterday. He had kissed me in the back of the music store. It had been our real first kiss, not because he was jealous, or because I wanted to get back at him. It was because I had wanted nothing more than that. I shook my head and realized I had been silent. He was staring at me with an amused expression.

"Maybe you need a nap instead." He laughed a little. "I don't know if tea is enough."

"Yeah, maybe. Thanks."

Thankfully, he left after that and the guys were quick to look at me. I rolled my eyes as I sipped from the cup.

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing." James held up his hands.

"Then why are you staring at me?"

Logan raised and lowered a shoulder, his voice was low. "That was...intense."

"It's tea."

"Yes but then there was before soundcheck. You two could have been the cover of a Fabio novel."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever."

"Is he still trying?"

"Did you not just see him make me tea after literally sweeping me off my feet?" I swirled the teabag around the cup. "Yeah, he's still trying. But I'm not interested, you saw how he acted. It was disgusting and I don't forgive him."

They agreed with me on this. "Yeah, what he did was awful."

"At this point, we just run into each other when we smoke outside. But even that's rare."

"How do you feel about that?"

"Okay, Dr. Logan." My tone was good-natured. "It's fine. I liked him, past tense. And maybe I still have lingering feelings but I don't trust him. And summer's almost over and after that, it's over. I'll go on a long vacation somewhere nice and only see him at award shows. The four of us will still hang out though."

They didn't know what to make of what I just said, so James nodded. "Yeah, he's an asshole for doing that to you. But he's determined."

"Just my luck."

"Is there anything else bothering you?"

I shook my head, I had unloaded enough on them for one day. But when my phone buzzed, I groaned.

I regret posting that snap where I turned your song off. In fact, I'd do anything to turn you on.

Jett had texted me again. It happened at least twice a day. Sometimes he 'blessed' me with a selfie, his words not mine. He'd say he missed me or that he liked a song from the album.

"Well, there's also this."

When they read the text they also groaned.

"He said Kendall didn't have any game? That text is a shame on our whole gender, it's not even clever." James scoffed. "We could beat him up too."

"Thanks but no thanks, who knows what other blackmail he has on me." My head ached and I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Let's just say Elle Harper is done with men for a while. Between Kendall, Jett and their bullshit, I can't sleep. I'm beyond ready for these days off."

Even though I was ready for a little relaxation, it didn't mean I didn't love being on tour. The show was a lot more entertaining than the soundcheck had been. The music pulsed through my body and I let myself get lost in it. The fans sang every word to every song, even the new ones and it warmed my heart inside and out. My set was just about over so I paused for a moment.

"I just want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for your support this summer. It's no secret things haven't been easy, but I wouldn't have gotten through any of it without you guys." I gushed into the microphone. "So thank you for believing in me no matter what. I have one song left."

By the end of the song I was dripping with sweat and my feet ached. I gave a large wave to the audience and bowed a little.

"Thank you, Bismarck, my name is Elle Harper and your love is my drug!"

The final notes blared as confetti rained down on all of us. The paper stuck to my damp skin and I ran offstage, I wiped my face with a towel. Kendall was right there when I pulled it away.

"Good show, as always."

"Thanks, uh, have a good one." I forced myself to sound pleasant. "Night."

Liz ushered me away from him and I shuddered. He had been lingering a little too much today and even though he had been nice, it still stung. I had been fooled by that smile before and I wouldn't let it happen again. But my mood shifted when Liz kept me company while I freshened up in my dressing room.

"Hey, I have good news. Your prescription is waiting for you in Minnesota, I can pick it up the day after tomorrow."

I could have cried as I walked out of the bathroom. "So only two more nights of not being able to sleep?"

"Yep. God, you need it too, look at you." She turned my head from side to side with her hand and tutted. "These bags are something, did you get any sleep last night?"

"A few hours, thank god for caffeine." I drank from a cup of iced coffee. "And I'm pretty tired tonight, it's been a busy few days. I'll probably crash after I sing with BTR."

This lie seemed to assuage her because she nodded. "Good. In fact, I'll stay on the management bus. I won't keep you up with my conference calls."

The thought of being alone for once was exciting. "That's great, thank you."

"Only two songs stand between you and sleep, so let's get out there."

I always tried to be by the stage one song early, that way if there were any mic issues we could fix them. So even though I had been boycotting their set most nights due to Kendall, I still saw some of it. They were just finishing up If I Ruled The World when I made it to my waiting area. They launched into the next song with gusto, it was new. I tried to keep my face neutral as I watched them. James was flashing the crowd a super white smile.

"When we dance heaven opens up."

But when Kendall started singing, it was hard not to frown, especially once he looked over at me with a small smirk.

"I promise you'll be back for more." He rocked his hips to the beat. "I wanna touch you like I did before. I'm gonna make you love me again."

My scowl and middle finger weren't what he was expecting because he cringed. It served him right though, he didn't get to sing about touching me again. If I had it my way, after tour he would never even look at me again. But soon the song was finished, and I was proud of my friends for their mature sound. As per my agreement with Gustavo, Kendall left the stage while his friends announced me.

"North Dakota, you haven't seen the last of me!" I teased as I walked on stage. "I hope you don't mind if I crash the party."

Logan, Carlos, James and, I sang the two group numbers together. Even though they were romantic I still enjoyed singing them, maybe it was because I didn't write them, but they didn't twist at the hole in my heart.

"I've got a big-time crush on you." I crooned and smiled at the guys.

Over their shoulders I caught Kendall staring. He wore a stupid lovesick expression but quickly turned a shade of red when he realized he had been caught. If I hadn't been so sleep-deprived I probably would have flirted with his friends to get under his skin. But soon enough both songs were over and I was already taking out my inner ear pieces.

"Elle, good show tonight as always."

"Thanks, Gustavo. I know I was a little flat during I Know You Know, but I'll work on it."

He shook his head. "You were great. Take a breath, the album's out, the tour is sold out. You're crushing it just stay in one piece."

"What he means is please get some sleep." Kelly pressed as she handed me tomorrow's schedule. "Do you see this giant empty space? That's a day off, use it, enjoy it."

"Please do. I almost want to set up an IV full of coffee for you." Liz agreed as she rubbed my arm. "Go get unhooked and get to bed."

I rolled my eyes at the three of them. "Okay, okay. Goodnight."

While a roadie disconnected my mic pack, my stomach sank. I could hear Kendall's voice, he was playing that stupid fucking song again.

"We just don't make sense. We're so not right, but that's what makes you mine."

His voice was rough from all the cigarettes he smoked. The lyrics still hit me right in the heart and I couldn't get out of there quick enough. I was more than ready to fall into a deep, much-needed sleep.

Everything was wrong.

My bed was lumpy, the bunk was drafty, and it felt wrong. I had laid in bed for four hours before realizing sleep was futile. Of course, it wasn't for a lack of trying. I had showered and meditated but sleep just wouldn't come. It had to be the bed. Logically, I knew it was the exact bus and exact same bed as the other one but it felt different. I had really thought getting three hours of sleep for the past few days would be enough but I was wrong.

And now, I found myself breaking into the safe of my own bus.

I guess it didn't really count as breaking in. After all, the code was the release date of my first album like it had always been. But for some reason I still found myself checking over my shoulder. Liz was on the management bus for the night. And as much as I loved her I knew chasing after me must be a handful. So I was certain we both didn't mind the alone time.

"Yes!" I cheered as the door swung open. "Exactly what I was looking for."

The bus safe contained the essentials. My passport, various important documents, and the most important thing, alcohol. Every single gift basket I had received for my album had contained some kind of liquor. And Liz, being the proactive manager she was, had locked it away. But a little nightcap never hurt anyone. Hopefully, it would put me to sleep.

I swiped a bottle of bourbon before locking the safe. That was all I needed before I climbed back into bed, I pulled the curtain shut and cracked the seal. The large swallow I took burned my throat and stomach in the best kind of way. I shut my eyes and leaned my head back. My brain had been overrun with thoughts. From the Tween Choice Awards nominations, song lyrics, to Kendick. The Tween Choice Awards were the show of the summer, winning there would prove to the world that the Kendall Incident wasn't going to stop me. The song lyrics would work themselves out eventually.

It was Kendall that was causing my headache. Today had been weird, to say the least. I could still feel his hands on my waist when I crashed into him. He had made a joke about deserving third-degree burns from my spilled tea. His dry humor was something I didn't know I had been missing. And of course, the nervous way he brought me a fresh drink had been sweet.

Another shot burned down my throat.

I didn't miss him.

His friends had said we seemed 'intense'. The only intensity I felt for Kendall was intense disgust. There was zero chemistry between us, there never had been. It had all been artificial. And even if I did miss him, I deserved better than him. I rolled onto my side and drank deeply. The bed beneath me felt cold and too big for my frame. The air conditioning was way too high and there weren't enough blankets and my skin was covered in goosebumps. My phone buzzed and I nstantly took another drink when I saw the message.

Missing that body of yours.

It was Jett, being his usual self, with no respect for boundaries. I deleted the message and a distant memory bubbled to the surface but it wasn't of Jett.

We had been in Chicago, we had filmed my music video when my phone buzzed in my bunk. The sender has surprised me but the message had even more.

I was looking at you and thinking about what was under that coat.

Kendall and I had flirted all night while filming and he had wanted to continue. It took a good deal of scrolling but I found the old texts. Our banter had flowed easily and the sexual tension was obvious.

Yeah, one look at your pants it was pretty obvious. Even with your tiny boner.

I cringed at my own words. I could practically feel the way he pressed into my thigh as we made out in the back of the cab. Our texts grew more frequent from there, especially once we had admitted our feelings for each other. At one point I had sent him the pictures we had taken before the New York award show. We were both dressed up and he was kissing the top of my head as we posed in the mirror. It was crazy to think about how drastically things changed just 24 hours after the photo was taken.

"I'm too sober for this."

After a few more long drinks, there was a buzz in my veins and I was able to read through our messages. My stomach twisted when I saw the next set of texts.

I did everyone a favor.

That was the moment I had tried to kill myself. I had been drunk, bleeding and alone. His reply was still enough to make my throat go tight.

Wait, what?

Holy shit, please don't hurt yourself baby.

I'm coming out there, just hold on. Please?

Knowing that he would have killed himself if I hadn't woken up made this even more emotional. When he had drunkenly stumbled into my hotel room the other night, he had confessed that he didn't want to be without me. He didn't want to be alone.

And I didn't either.

My legs swung over the side of the bed and I climbed out. I turned off the air and moved my hands over my arms. I hadn't realized I had even been crying until I caught of glimpse of myself in the dark windows of the bus. My face was streaked and I had the tell-tale flush of someone who was drunk. It took some digging but when I found the sweatshirt I tugged it on. The smell had grown faint but it still clung to the dark green fabric. It was comforting and familiar. The mint and soap were a far cry from the weed and alcohol that wafted from him now.

"Fucking pathetic, Eleanor." I hiccuped to myself as I looked through the photos of us. "Crying over fucking, K-Kendick, drunk and alone."

But I sat in my bunk anyway, wearing his sweatshirt with a belly full of liquor. As I curled up on my side I finally was brave enough to realize why I hadn't been able to sleep.

I couldn't sleep alone.

The bed wasn't too big, it was too empty. I didn't have too few blankets, I didn't have a warm body next to me. I couldn't sleep without him. Even being drunk hadn't made me tired. The loneliness clawed at my insides and I rubbed my fists into my eyes. A cry forced its way out of my throat. I was exhausted and alone. It was like I was on autopilot as I tapped at my screen. My vision was bleary and I hit send without thinking.

Kendall?

The three dots were almost instant and I wondered if he couldn't sleep either.

What's wrong?

Can u stop the buses? I need to come over.

He didn't reply and I regretted it almost instantly. It was one thing to privately miss him, but to drunk text him, that was messy. The bus continued to roll along but I heard the hiss of the brakes. Before I could stop myself I was leaving my bus. My pillow was under one arm and the bourbon was in my hand as I stepped out into the night. Cars whizzed past me on the highway as I walked back towards the second bus. I stumbled a bit as I climbed up the stairs. The back of the bus was dark and Kendall's face was lit up by the dim glow of the recessed lights.

"Elle, what's wrong? It's three in the morning."

"I'm tired." I swallowed thickly. "So fuckin' tired."

"Okay?"

I rolled my eyes and my words were slurred. "I can't sleep w-without you."

That's when he noticed the bottle in my hand. "Are you drunk?"

The look in his eyes was almost accusing and I shook my head. "Oh no, you don't g-get to judge me for being drunk."

"You are drunk." He scratched at his beard. "No judgment."

"Good, you don't get to judge me f-for anything. You're the one who fucked up."

He held up his hands. "I know, I know."

I took another drink and wiped my mouth. The alcohol heightened every emotion I felt for Kendall as I stared at him. I was angry, disgusted and hopelessly and miserably nostalgic for him. My eyes were tearing up again and he looked panicked.

"Hey, don't cry. I'm sorry."

When he handed me a tissue I waved him away. "I can't sleep. I'm so fucking tired and my body is betraying me because I can't sleep alone. And Liz took my sleeping pills because," I hiccuped a bit and thrust my finger at him. "Because someone made me overdose. But that someone, unfortunately, also happens to be the one person I can fall asleep next to and it's all your fault. It's s-so stupid, I'm stupid."

I rocked on my feet as tears fell down my face. Kendall steadied me by grabbing my shoulders, his face was pulled into a deep frown. "You're not stupid, you're tired. When was the last time you got any real sleep?"

A yawn interrupted my crying. "A few days. M-Maybe four."

"Baby, you need to sleep."

"Don't call me that. I'm not your baby." I scowled at him. "I know I need sleep."

Instead of cowering, he rolled his eyes. "You came over here. I didn't force you. I've seen you for the past week. You look like you can barely keep your eyes open. I'm worried about you "

"I know I came over here." My words weren't as biting as I had hoped as they ran together. "Trust me, if I could sleep on my own I would. And you should have thought how worried you'd be before you ruined me."

Kendall watched as I took another drink from the nearly finished bottle. He gently pried it from my hand and placed it on top of the cabinets. "I think you've had enough, how about some water?"

The room was beginning to spin a bit and I held onto the counter. "No."

"Elle, c'mon."

"Let's go to bed." I pleaded with him and reached out to him. "T-Take me to bed"

Kendall bit his lip and let out a sigh. "You're drunk, I don't want to take advantage."

Now he decided to not be completely scummy. He was also bold enough to assume I wanted sex so I clarified. "I want to sleep next to you, not with you. This isn't in any way a sec- a second chance."

"Len."

He was taking too long to answer and I gripped my pillow and pushed past him. "I'll sleep with Logan or something. Move."

His jaw clenched and he shook his head. "Absolutely fucking not."

I was too tired to point out how jealous he sounded. I shifted my weight from foot to foot, my voice was high and thin. I hated how desperate I sounded as I spoke.

"Can I sleep here or n-not?" I looked up at him through my lashes and my words were shaking. "I feel like I'm going to collapse but I can't sleep alone. I can't sleep without you."

He gave me a once over and finally nodded. "Yeah, sure."

I nearly wept in relief and turned to go to his bunk. I swayed and tripped over my feet but he was right behind me and wrapped his hand around my waist.

"Easy, Elle. I don't need you getting a concussion and people thinking I did it."

"Already shoved me." I huffed as I turned around. "Sorry, was that rude?"

"It's true, I'm sorry."

My head was throbbing and my thoughts were jumbled. "I'm so fucking drunk."

A smile twitched at his mouth. "I know, the bed's right there."

We reached his bunk and he boosted me up. He climbed in behind me and pulled the curtain shut while I made myself comfortable. I moved his phone and smiled at his lock screen. It was the same picture from New York that I had been looking at earlier. I didn't mention it as I handed it to him. The bed didn't feel empty, I wasn't cold, and I felt the tension melt from my body. Kendall kept his distance but reached out to touch my face.

"I have to be honest." He began as he stroked my cheek. "I can't sleep either."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I haven't been able to since you left. I end up thinking about everything and writing songs."

"You sang about me tonight." I hummed and pointed at him. "That song where you say I'm yours."

Kendall looked sheepish. "I did. I won't play it anymore if you don't want me to."

"It's a good song," I answered without thinking, so I backpedaled. "The fans like it."

He wasn't drunk so he noticed my choice of words. His green eyes were vulnerable. "What about you? Do you like it?"

I had invited myself over, climbed into his bed and was literally less than a foot from him. But none of that influenced my meek nod. "Well I'm not yours. But y-yeah, it's sweet. Even if love songs are cheesy."

This brought a smile to his face, it was nice to see him smile again. "It's for you, it's your song. I started it before everything went wrong, I've written so many songs about you."

"No one's ever written a song about me before you," I admitted as I tried to stop the room from spinning. "J-Jett just raped me and sends gross texts."

The smile slid off of his face when he heard this. "He's texting you?"

"Just stupid stuff like he misses me. It's part-partially why I'm drunk right now."

"Why else are you drunk?"

I buried my face in my pillow, I regretted saying anything. "I was hoping it would make me fall asleep and I-I may or may not have missed sleeping next to you."

"Well, I miss you too, Elle. I miss you every day even when I'm next to you."

His words tugged at my heartstrings because I missed him too. I missed him right now even though my body was pressed against his. We laid together while being miles apart. The hand that had been touching my face moved to my waist. Tears stung in the corner of my eyes and Kendall was visibly concerned.

"Please don't cry."

I was more irritated with myself than anything else. "I hate that I miss you. I'm so fucking mad at you but I miss you sleeping next to me. I'm scared, I'm so scared."

He was quiet for a long moment and he bit at his lip. "Of me?"

"Of you, to forgive you." I rattled off and my voice was small and timid. "And because I'm pretty sure I feel the same way you do."

And there it was. My big, drunken mouth had admitted that I still had feelings for Kendall. Of course, I did. How could I not? No matter how hard I wished, it wasn't something I could turn off like a tap. I had spent the summer falling for him that didn't disappear overnight. Kendall's eyebrows shot up to his hairline and a shocked laugh slipped past his lips.

"You feel the same?"

"Unfortunately." I burrowed deeper into the blankets. "But I'm scared and angry and don't forgive you. I'm not getting into it."

"We don't have to talk about it." He scooted in closer and rested his forehead on mine. "But just know I miss you too and I will never hurt you again."

My eyes were growing heavy and my head was foggy. "Whatever you say. And this isn't a second chance."

"It's not a second chance."

I was sniffling as I let myself sink into his arms. "I just wish I knew if you were s-serious about me, us, whatever."

I felt his lips kiss the top of my head. "I'll prove it to you, I swear to g-god. I love you and I miss you. I love you and miss you so much."

For the first time in days, my eyes fell shut and sleep lured me in. The bus rocked gently and Kendall murmured apologies into my hair, it felt like nothing had changed. And as I finally dozed off two words left my mouth without a second thought.

"You too."

AN: Do you think Elle meant I love you too or I miss you too just now? It's obvious she's hurting without Kendall but doesn't trust him. Would you trust him if you were Elle? Do you think they could ever be happy? My favorite part was the conversation they had when Elle went to the BTR bus and the scene with her and the guys at the beginning. The next chapter takes place in the guy's hometown and a few unexpected things happen.

We are now moving into the final arc of this story and I'm so excited for you guys to read it. I hope you stick around for the ride. Thank you and please let me know what your favorite part was! I'm so close to 60 reviews! :)