Hello hopefully you guys will like this update! Sorry this chapter isn't beta-ed pls bear with me. T.T

SORRY FOR MY GRAMMAR, PLEASE LOOK BEYOND IT AND JUST ENJOY THE PLOT THANK YOU! AGAIN MY APOLOGIES WITH MY GRAMMAR. IF ANYONE LIKES TO HELP BETA MY STORY PLS PM ME IF NOT THEN THATS FINE TOO HAHAHA.

REMINDER: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER JUST THE CRAZY PLOT MY MIND CREATED HAHAHA

Hermione's POV

When I got back I got an earful with Ginny, luckily Harry wasn't here to gang up on me as well. After the long sermon, Ginny then convinced me to tell her everything that happened when I went to Ron's condo.

"We told you Hermione not to go to Ron's place. Ever since the break up he has been a complete arse far worst than Malfoy I might say. I have not thought of him as a brother, ever since you both split up. If I was there I wouldn't care if I used every hex in the book on him. Because that prat deserves it!" Ginny said furiously with arms crossed on her chest.

I can feel Ginny's anger towards her brother. Was our break up really that bad because the disgust on Ginny's tone of voice levels up more than I have ever experienced from the past, nothing compared to this moment, and it doesn't even come close when she found out that Ron acted like a jerk when he found out that I was Viktor Krum's date during our fourth year.

"I know Gin. But if you and Harry are going to keep me in the dark then I will try to find some answers. Even if it means begging Ron for an explanation." I paused and inhaled slowly wanting to hold back the small lump forming in my throat and the tears that wanted to spill down from my eyes. "Because Ginny." I pointed to my heart. "My heart, even if my mind tries hard to explain that things are over between me and Ron, doesn't want to give up yet. Right now my heart is beating only for Ron even if he is continuously breaking me apart, I still love him."

Ginny came closer to me and hugged me to comfort me.

"Ginny did I do something? Was he maybe unhappy that I didn't give my virginity to him? Or maybe we did it but he was unhappy with my performance in bed? Was I unfaithful? Because Ginny it hurts so much! I miss him so damn much! I thought that I had everything planned out. That my future was set with him. I miss everything about him Ginny. I know I sound so unlike myself. I am one of the golden trio who defeated the most darkest wizard of our time, I should be strong. But why is it with Ron I just easily break apart like this? Because this person I am right now I don't know who she is." I finally said to Ginny not caring of how I sound with my bold demeanor of questions and the desperate tone in my voice that was seeking answers. I just let my tears fall freely from my eyes unable to keep myself from sobbing.

"Hermione for the record you never told me anything if something happened between you and my brother, and frankly I have never been interested with Ron's or any of my brother's sexual experiences. And even if I was interested, I knew that both of you would never easily talk about it out in the open especially to me." Ginny spat while giving a look like she is going to vomit which I couldn't help but return with a small smile. "For now Hermione, just give time for yourself. I may not know the feeling of losing one's memories but I can tell you this, that its ok to break down once in a while, we are human. It's better letting it out then keeping it all bottled up inside. And my advice is cry and hate on Ron now and tomorrow you will be good as new. But seriously Hermione don't think of going back to Ron's place. You need to rest and not stress over my prat of a brother. Have you taken your potion yet?" Asked Ginny trying to change the subject and was now stroking my hair.

"Thanks Ginny. Yes I have. I think it's too strong for me. I easily get headaches, but nothing that I can't handle. But Ginny I have been resting for two months which I am getting tired off." Ginny just nodded and said,"On your next follow up we will ask the doctor to lower the dosage then." I didn't want to argue anymore about Ron. Or agree just yet about not going to see him. I know that I will just hurt myself more. But it's better to experience this pain then later so that I can open my eyes and it might help me move on.

I will admit I am easily tired, maybe due to the stress, and probably the effect of the potion. I don't know if it's working at all. But I really do want to retrieve my lost memories. It's frustrating me so much to not know what happened to me these past four years.

I know I sound like a broken record but I can't help but feel like I am missing so much about myself that I don't know if I will ever get back.

What happened to me and Ron when I knew we were both so in love back then? Did I cheat? Did he? When did we both fall out of love? These are the questions that constantly pop up in my mind.

After what seemed like hours I feel the darkness consume me and I felt myself wander off to sleep.

Here I am outside of Ron's condo because I was able to escape Kreacher again.

I know that I am an idiot coming back here, knowing very well that I might or will get hurt again, but it's better doing something than nothing.

I just realized when I was standing outside of his condo that it was made for our kind, but if any muggles would see it, they would just think of a normal condominium and everything was bewitched that if there was anything involving magic they wouldn't see it. So it's ok if they occupied it themselves knowing that it was safe and they wouldn't be caught.

I know I couldn't enter, not when Lavender made sure that the guards wouldn't let me in, by personally giving them a picture of me to keep an eye out for me. So it was quite hard to enter, I would try to apparate but the condo has an anti-apparate ward so that we wouldn't surprise or get caught by muggles.

As all my hope of getting into the condo seemed hopeless, my luck changed when there was some muggle students who were selling cookies going inside, my chance to blend in with them. I thank that I was able to get in and not spotted by the guard. But thank goodness the elevator doors closed on time before the guard could spot me. And now I was free to go to Ron's.

Finally I came back face to face at Ron's door. But the memories of the past came flooding back to me. It's funny how time flew making me and Ron drift so much apart without me knowing why.

I don't know what came over me but here I am knocking on Ron's door lightly; but still no answer. I knocked more aggressively until I could feel my fists becoming immune to the pain. Seeing that Ron wasn't answering I turned my back and just slowly slid down and my back leaning on his door.

I bit my lip trying to prevent myself from sobbing uncontrollably and just hugged my knees towards me.

Why did this happen to me? Was this how I felt back then when Ron and I broke up?

"Bloody hell Hermione!" I knew that voice anywhere and I looked up seeing Ron and I slowly stood up not breaking eye contact with him. I looked at his face which became handsome even though he matured a bit. But the once gentle and concerned look he had years ago for me were replaced by a look I didn't recognize. All I saw was him shooting daggers toward me with his deadly glare. "How did you get in here Hermione?" He hissed with a sound of bitterness in his voice.

At least he wasn't calling me by my last name. I am grateful for that. But with how he was talking to me, I realized that reality slapped me hard telling me that the love he showed me were things in the past. I am a fool for hoping with our confrontation now that things would be different guess it didn't meet my expectations.

I couldn't help but plead with him even if I sounded like a mental desperate woman begging, at least I did something. "Ron, can't you love me like you use too? Can't we go back to the way we used to be?"

Ron was taken aback with what I said; until he snapped out of it and gave me an amused look. "Hermione are you mental?"

"No Ron, I am completely sane. Can't a person, or I in the matter, just wake up one day and realize that I am still in love with you?"

"Wow! After four years?!" His voice raised with sarcasm and I could see his hands turning into fists as he looked away from me.

"Can't you see that Ron? I love you so much that it hurts."

"No you don't Hermione! You made that clear when you ch--" Ron stopped before he continued and tried to compose himself.

I couldn't stay quiet so I continued, " But I do Ron. Please remember the years we've been together and how happy we were." I said in a whisper while trying to avoid Ron's sharp gaze at me. Then Ron slowly moved towards me while I advanced back only to feel his door behind me, then his both arms were now beside my head locking me on the position.

"I am engaged, Hermione. I am getting married." He said calmly while staring intensely at my eyes.

His words cut me like a knife and were replaying over and over in my mind like a broken record. No I can't accept this. Why can't the ground open up and swallow me right now. I feel so embarrassed by telling Ron my feelings only to get rejected. If only someone would be here willing to save me, because I am falling so deep in this pool of pain.

In this moment, I didn't notice Ron who was still talking, all I could think of was this four years of me and him being over didn't I have anyone? A potential suitor or maybe a new boyfriend?

If there was how come Ginny and Harry never mention anyone? Did I even get over Ron? Was I that ugly and unlovable to not have a new love life?

Suddenly I felt pain radiating in my head causing me to get caught off balance and fall to the floor clutching on my head. The headache was more severe than the last. I blame the stupid potion for this. Why did I have to feel this now and show Ron my condition?

"Hermione!" I heard Ginny's voice rushing towards me.

I could see Ron helping me sit up and pulling me into his arm calling my name. But the pain was tremendous and I couldn't take it anymore. But before I could pass out I manage to see a blurry yet tall and pale figure wearing a black suit not far from us staring at me.

And with that I allowed the darkness to envelop me.