I don't know how often I'm going to be updating this story since today NaNo starts. But this story seems to be flowing and I'm going with it.

The song Dirty Little Secrets is now living rent free in my brain.

DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS

CH2

ROSE

Of all the people to see me here it had to be him. No one besides my mother knew I was here, not even Lissa. I had planned on keeping it that way, no one needed to know my dirty little secret. It wasn't just mine it was also Jesse's, but he could go on with his life like nothing happened. Me on the other hand had to be sent away in secret so that no one would know. The only good thing that came out of this was that I would never have to be his Guardian again. I had brought shame to the family, who claimed I was a blood whore, not knowing it was their son who indeed was the whore.

I couldn't have been more grateful for when I first walked through the doors and was greeted by Alberta. She has always been like a mother to me. She grabbed me in a bear hug and we both sobbed. She never judged me or even said she was disappointed in me. That night I spent it in her room while I told her everything that had led me here.

Alberta told me we were getting a new male Guardian; she just neglected to tell me who. I was headed to her office right now to give her a piece of my mind.

I didn't even bother knocking and just went right in.

"Good morning Rose." She said without even looking up from her desk.

"Don't good morning to me, Bertie."

"What's wrong today?"

"Don't pretend you don't know. Why didn't you warn me that he was our new Guardian?"

"Would it have made a difference?"

"Well no, but a little heads up would have been nice."

"Look I know you're upset, but I got a lot on my plate right now. I just got an email that we are getting another new girl, she will be our first Moiri."

"What? How?"

"She was in a relationship with a Dhamphir."

"Let me guess her parents are embarrassed their daughter tainted their line with getting pregnant by a Dhamphir?" She nodded her head.

"I hate it here. Nothing is ever right or fair."

"I know kiddo."

"You put her in a room yet?"

"Not yet why?"

"It's been a bit quiet in mine since Meredith left. Could the new girl be my roommate?"

"I think that would be good for the both of you."

"I better get going then and get my room picked up." I stood there because I didn't want to leave, I wanted her to hug me and tell me everything was going to be ok.

"So what are you still doing here?" I sat down in the plush chair she had put in her office just for me.

"Because I feel like crawling into a little ball and hiding. Of all the people it had to be him."

"What do you think he's going to judge you? You know I go through a very stringent screening process before I bring on any male Dhamphir."

"No it's not that. I know he wouldn't judge me. It's just…"

"Spit it out." She said while finally looking up from all the stuff on her desk.

"I know how he felt about his sister getting pregnant. He was disappointed in her. I don't want him to be disappointed in me." Tears started to fall from my eyes.

"Oh honey." She stood up and came around her desk, hobbling all the way to me. She grabbed me by my cheeks.

"Look at me none of this is your fault, you know that right." I barely shook my head. Everyone here kept telling me that, but I didn't believe them. I was a trained killer. How in the world did I let some asshole do this to me?

"Just talk to him, he may surprise you."

"Ugh,do I have to?"

"Not today, but eventually yes. Now get out of here so I can go back to work." I stood up and hugged her goodbye and was on my way to my room. It was a hot mess, I guess impending motherhood didn't change my messiness.

Well I wouldn't, couldn't be a mother. My son or daughter would be taken away from me as soon as they were born. They would go straight to the nearest Dhamphir orphanage where they would live till they were old enough to go to an academy. Did I want to be a mom,no. But at the same time the thought of my child becoming just another number for our ranks. Thinking they were just born because we needed guardians broke me. I grew up that way, yes I had a mother, but she was all about duty. I was four years old when I was dropped off at the academy. Come to think of it, Alberta was there to hug me that day too.

Even if I did want to be a mother, I couldn't. I didn't have a choice but to let them go to the orphanage. My mom made me come here and told me she would have a job waiting for me when I left. She never once asked what I wanted, never once asked what happened. She just assumed like always that it was my fault. I was the one being promiscuous and got myself in trouble. She was wrong oh so wrong. Dimitri was the first person I ever slept with, he was supposed to be only. Funny how things turned out.

DIMITRI

I needed to talk to Alberta. I had to tell her about mine and Rose's prior relationship. I had turned the corner to the hallway where I was told her office was. I saw Rose as she was headed in the other direction. Thankfully she didn't see me, I didn't know what I would say to her right now.

Her door was closed so I lightly knocked.

"Come in Dimitri." I had a confused look on my face as I opened the door.

"I have a camera right outside my door." I look up to finally see the camera right in my face.

"I also knew you would want to talk to me." I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Have a seat." I quickly sat down.

"I know why you're here, it's about Rose?"

"Yes." I said very cautiously.

"I already know about your past relationship with her." Ok that's not what I expected.

"I'm not here to judge, in our line of work our lives can be short. If you're lucky enough to find love, well I believe you need to embrace it."

"You don't think it's going to be a problem and you still want me here?"

"I do. Let me be honest with you. When I saw that you were back in the Guardian pool I immediately put in my request. I knew that you would treat these girls with respect. Plus,Rose has always been like a daughter to me and I care for her more than I should. When she walked through those doors it broke my heart. She really needs someone on her side right now."

" I did her really wrong. I'm not sure it's best for her to be around me."

"You'd be amazed at how forgiving she is. You both have been through a lot in such a short amount of time. Would what happened to her still happen if things were different between you two? Probably.

" It's happening way more now with the age decree in place. We are building another house because we are running out of rooms. We have lost so many of our newly promised Dhamphirs. The Moiri are terrified that there won't be enough Guardians to go around. Unfortunately for the girls here they've been caught in the crossfire."

"I didn't know how bad it was. I've been so lost in my own grief. I'm terrified of what's going to happen to my youngest sister. She's in her last year at the academy and will get her promise mark this May. She's barely sixteen." I was starting to get lost in my emotions over everything.

"I'd like to tell you everything is going to be ok, but I can't. What I can tell you is that we are doing the best we can for any girl that comes through our doors. I wish I could do more for them and their babies, but my hands are tied. If I had the resources I would give these girls the world. They deserve better, we all deserve better."