TW. There is mention of miscarriage and rape in this chapter

DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS

Ch 3

ROSE

I must have fallen asleep after cleaning up my room because before I knew it, it was the after one and I had missed lunch. I was only fourteen weeks into this pregnancy and it was kicking my butt. I was awoken by a knock on my door. I groggily said come in and Celeste peeked her head around the door. She was one of the female Guardians that lived in the house with us. She was pretty chill and I liked her. She was actually one of the first Dhamphirs to come here. Her daughter was five and now at St Vladimir's. She was one of the lucky ones who was able to be in their child's life.

"Sorry to wake you, but I've got your new roomie." I sat up trying to make myself somewhat presentable.

"Bring her in." She opened the door and stepped inside followed by the young Moiri that would be my new roommate.

"Rose?"

"Jill?" She came running up to my bed.

"I'm so glad to see you. We were all worried when Jesse came back to court with a new Guardian. No one knew what happened to you or if you were ok." She hugged me. Little Jill, we had all met her after the attack on the school. She was interested in using her magic to fight so Christian took her under his wing and our group treated her like a little sister. The last I saw her was over the summer when I was at court with Jesse and his family.

"I'm going to leave you two to get caught up." Celeste said before leaving and closing the door.

"What happened? How did you end up here?" I motioned her to sit next to me on my bed.

"The same thing that happened to you, I fell in love and got knocked up."

"Jill, you're only fifteen, what do you know about love?"

"I'm sixteen. I could ask you the same thing: what do you know about love?" She said with an attitude I didn't know she could have.

"I know a lot about love, but a lot more about heartbreak."

"I'm in a relationship. He loves me and I love him. We never meant for this to happen, but we are both excited to have this baby. I know I'm young, but the way I see it we just started our family a little early." Poor Jill she really didn't understand what was going on and there was no happily ever after.

"Jill, you do know what this place is and why you were sent here?"

"So I can still go to school and not be a distraction for the other students. They will take care of me till I have my baby.Then after the baby is born we can go home and be a family."

"Oh Jill, that's not what happens here."

"What do you mean?" She asked with such innocence.

"This place is a secret to the Moiri society. They send Dhamphir girls away when they get pregnant. Their babies go straight to an orphanage, so no one ever knows. You're the first Moiri that's ever stayed here. I'm assuming since you got pregnant by a Dhamphir that's why you're here"

"No, no that's not true. That's not what Tatiana told my parents!" The Queen, what did the Queen have to do with this?

"How did the Queen get involved?" I was very curious because Jill wasn't a royal, so why would the Queen care?

"I don't know, but somehow she found out I was pregnant. My guess is because Lissa is always with Tatiana and Eddie being one of Lissa's Guardians is always with her."

"Eddie?"

"Yeah, we've been dating in secret for awhile now. We only had sex once, but that was enough to get me pregnant. My mom and dad were upset at first, but then very supportive. They were going to let me come live with them at court and go to school there, and since Eddie is a court with Lissa he would be around. Tatiana showed up at my house about a week ago and told my parents about this place. She made it sound like it was a school for girls who got pregnant and that when I had the baby I could come back home."

"I'm so sorry Jill, but no one that stays here gets to keep their baby. You're having a Dhamphir, they will go to an orphanage till they are old enough to go to an academy to train. "

"No, there is no way my parents agreed to that. They were excited to have a grand baby." She started to cry on my shoulder.

"I know it's hard, but that's the life of a Dhamphir."

"Well I don't agree with it and neither would Eddie."

"How did he take it when you told him?"

"He was scared at first like I was, then he was so happy. He said he would do everything in his power to make sure we were both taken care of. He wanted to be in his child's life, he wanted to help me raise our baby." That sounds just like my Eddie, he was a good guy and like most Dhamphir men never thought about having children of their own. We can't procreate with other Dhamphirs, just Moiri. So most Dhamphir men never have the chance to have their own children.

"Eddie's a good one, but if the Queen is involved he most likely never got to voice his opinion."

"I need to call my parents." She grabbed her purse and went through it, then dumped it out in a panic. I knew she was looking for her phone, but she would never find it. They don't let you keep your phone if you have one. We are essentially cut off from everyone.

"Jill, they don't let you have phones, like I said this is a very secretive place. Granted most of us don't have anyone to call." She started to cry even harder.

"But how am I supposed to talk to Eddie?"

"If Tatiana is involved then his phone is probably being monitored so it wouldn't be safe for you to contact him."

"Oh Rose, this is so unfair." I grabbed her a tissue off my nightstand and handed it to her.

"Hey, I'm sure I could talk Alberta into letting you call your parents. Ok." She shook her head.

"Thank you."

"Not to be nosey, but how did you end up here? Last I heard you were hot and heavy with Guardian Belikov and I know he couldn't have gotten you pregnant." She said as she wiped her tears away.

"I was, but after Ivan, his charge, died he just wasn't the same."

"I remember hearing about that, it happened so close to court."

"He went back to Russia never speaking to me again. Then Jesse started community college and now I'm here."

"So who's the father?"

"Jesse."

"So you and him?" I grabbed her hands.

"Jill there is a lot in our society that is going on and pushed under the rug. They neglected to tell me part of being someone's Guardian also meant being forced to have their baby to repopulate."

"Rose, are you telling me that he..?"

"What? Raped me? Yes he did. You'll find that most of the girls here have had the same thing happen to them."

"Oh Rose I'm so sorry."

"What's done is done. I'll have my baby then go back to being a guardian."

"You don't care what happens to your baby?"

"It's not that I don't care. It's just being a Guardian is all I know. Plus I honestly don't know if I could love my baby."

"How could you say that? I already love this little clump of cells more than anything."

"How could I, the baby would be a daily reminder of Jesse and what he did. That's not fair to them to have a mother that's incapable of loving them."

"I don't believe you're incapable of love." She hugged me again.

"Ok enough of this. Let me show you around." We got up off my bed and she followed me to her side of the room.

"Here is your bed, you have your own dresser and nightstand. We share a closet, I don't have much so you will have plenty of space. We are lucky and have our own bathroom. Me and Meredith would always be in there throwing up at the same time. I'm glad it was only the two of us fighting for the toilet." I giggled.

"Did she have her baby?"

"She had a miscarriage." I didn't really want to talk about it. I remember the night it happened like it was yesterday. She woke up in the middle of the night screaming in pain. There was blood all over her and the bed. There was nothing I could do for her, but hold her hand. I held her while she cried after they told her there was nothing they could do and she was going to lose the baby.

Jill looked panicked.

"Hey, it's going to be ok. It's very rare for any of us to have a miscarriage."

"I feel so bad for her. I wonder if it's the same Meredith that is now Jesse's new Guardian."

"What did you just say?"

"Jesse's new Guardian her name is Meredith."

"What's her last name?"

"I'm honestly not sure, it was Eddie who introduced her to me and it was by her first name. She has red hair." No, there is no way they allowed her to become his Guardian.

"I need to go talk to Alberta. Unpack and make yourself at home. I'll be back in time to go to dinner." I practically ran out of the room and towards the main house. I wasn't even wearing any shoes and it was in the middle of February. I needed to know why Alberta allowed this to happen to Meredith.