Chapter 1

"This is not fair, May!" Jacob shouted as he chased me out of the house. I laughed at him.

"It's not my problem that you suck at video games," I rolled my eyes at the irritated expression on his face.

"No, you cheated." The accusation was written all over his face.

"I did not, and you know it too. So just stop complaining." I said, and his eyes narrowed at me.

"You are so dead." He said, running towards me, and I ducked by his side and ran inside the house again.

I could feel he was right on my heels.

"Jake!" I shrieked as he held me by my waist and twirled us in circles.

"Now, who's complaining, huh?" He put me down and started tickling me.

"No, no, stop!" I said as tears started to form in my eyes. He stopped and then fell on the couch, taking me with him.

"Why are you so good at all the games we play?" he asked as he tried to tame my hair after all the running and tickling.

"Because I am awesome."

Jacob and I have been friends since third grade. The day my mother moved to La Push was the luckiest day of my life. Jacob and I have been inseparable since. The whole town knows about us. Part of it goes to the mischiefs he and I did, including Embry and Quil. Jacob is not an easy person to live with; his mood swings have increased a lot since he 'turned .'He is a lot more intense and grumpier now.

But I love him anyway. Yup, I do love him, and I have loved him since he spent all his day baking me my favorite cake on my fifteenth birthday. He was covered in flour from head to toe, but he was so intent on making me a cake that my heart melted right then and there. And the glow he had on his face when he asked me to taste the cake altered something in me, and I was like, "How can I not love this amazing guy right in front of me?"

And from that moment, my heart wasn't mine anymore. It belonged to him. Even though the cake he baked tasted like shit.

"Earth to May," he said, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Why do you keep thinking about me when I am right before you?" He asked with a smirk, and I hit him on the chest. He is huge, standing next to me. The top of my head hardly comes to his shoulders. And with all his muscles, he makes me look small, standing next to him.

"Who said I was thinking about you?" I said, getting off him. He crossed his hands behind his head and watched me make a sandwich for him. I know, right?

"Well, I can see it in your eyes. And plus, I am your best friend." He said, and I stopped for a second. Best friends. This is what I am to him, just a friend.

"Yeah," I said as I concentrated on my work.

"What is that tone?" he straightened on the couch.

"That's my normal tone." Before I could finish my sentence, he got off the couch to come near the kitchen counter.

"No, that is not. You know you can't hide anything from me." He said, and I sighed, putting the knife away. Just then, the ringing of the phone saved me from answering.

"I'll get it." The relief in my voice just made him shake his head.

"Hello?" I asked, picking up the phone.

"Oh hey, May, is Jacob there?" Bella. I cursed her internally. Why does she have to call now? Why now, when I was having a moment alone with him?

Just say no, May. Say no.

"Yeah, he is," I paused momentarily before calling out to Jacob. It never gets easy.

"Jacob?! It's Bella." I called for him, and he suddenly appeared out of the kitchen. The eagerness he showed was a little upsetting. But then, he is Jacob, and she is Bella.

I am just May.

"Great," I mumbled, and he saw the puzzled look on his face- which I decided to ignore. He was talking to Bella in hushed whispers, and he took every ounce of my self-control to not roll my eyes.

Embry entered the house as I started eating the sandwich I made for Jacob.

"Hey, May," he said as he plopped down on the couch beside me.

"Thanks for knocking," I greeted him.

"Aw, I missed you too. Can I have a bite?" he asked, reaching for my sandwich, but I held it back.

"No, I am hungry," I said, but he kept trying to grab it.

"Embry Call, I swear- "he snatched the sandwich from my hand and was about to put it in his mouth-

"Don't! I swear I won't talk to you ever!" I threatened him.

"Can you guys please keep it down? I am on the phone." Jacob said firmly. However, the tone of his voice didn't sit well with me. Embry looked at me with guilt plastered all over his face. I walked out of the house with my sandwich.

"So, he is talking to Bella, huh?" Embry followed me outside.

"Isn't that obvious?" We sat on the porch stairs.

"He is just stupid, May. I don't know why he is pinning after Bella when he has you." He said, and I tried to smile with my mouth full of food but failed.

"I mean, look how beautiful you look with all that food in your mouth!" He teased.

Chewing fast, I gulped down my sandwich, "Why is he stupid? He doesn't owe me anything." My brain understands this, but it's a little difficult for my heart. It's never easy to say or think that someone you love so profoundly loves someone else. But I know that you can never control the way someone feels. Or I try to.

"He does. You guys are meant to be together. It was decided—"

"—by whom? Who decided this, Embry? Not me, not him. We are just stuck because some weird supernatural entity or whatever thought how great it would be to meddle in people's love lives." I cut him off because this is not the first time we have had this conversation. I am so tired of people looking at me as if I am some pitiful person.

"It's an honor, May. To be able to find that connection with someone—it's amazing."

I know he meant every single word that he spoke. For Embry, imprinting is everything. It is the best part that comes with being who he is. It's an honor, as he mentioned. I agree. But that is not the case for everyone, at least not for me and Jacob.

"I know, Em. But you should also acknowledge that not everyone is waiting around to find their better half. Or accept them."

"He will come around, May. He will realize what an idiot he is. And he will come to you." I am tired of hearing this. It took everything in me to not roll my eyes at him. I know that he means well.

But I couldn't stop myself from asking this one question, "And what if he doesn't?"

He took a moment to answer, "He will." The determination behind his sentence was strong, and it made me smile. He pulled me to him, and I let my head rest on his broad shoulder. I could argue with him all day on this topic, but I want someone to believe that everything will work out. Because I don't. You can never force someone to love you. And I don't want to do that to Jacob. I love him too much to put him through something like this.

If he wants to be with Bella or any other girl, it's okay. He shouldn't be held responsible for following his heart. It confuses me sometimes that people are okay with me loving him because it is correct and meant to be. But what about him? What about what he wants? I could never be happy knowing he is with me just because that is what was decided for him.

"What are you guys doing?" Jacob asked, looking at us. He tried to hide it, but I could see he was irritated. The clenching of his fist was a dead giveaway. Sometimes it is difficult to understand his reactions. He doesn't like it when I get close to other people. But he never says anything about it.

"Just chatting," Embry said as he pulled me up. "I came to ask if you guys will come to Emily's place."

"No, I am going to hang out with Bella." He said, looking at me. I maintained my expression because I didn't want to give away anything I felt. Embry felt the change in the air around us and asked me if I wanted to come with him.

"No thanks, Embry. I have to help my mom with dinner."

"Okay, I'll see you later," Embry smiled as I waved him bye. "Later, Jake" We watched Embry leave. I turned to go inside when Jacob stopped me.

"Do you want to tag along with me and Bella?" He asked, and I looked at him for a moment. He is asking me to hang out with Bella. Really? I mean I have nothing against her apart from the fact that she is stringing Jacob along in her drama.

"Thank you for the invitation, but as I said, I have to help my mom cook." And it was the truth. He just looked at me without blinking. And it was tough not to fidget under his gaze. He does this sometimes—he looks at me without breaking his gaze. I don't know why he does this or what he expects to find, but I never ask him. Because I am always too busy to calm my heart. It should be illegal how fast he catches the change in my expressions.

"Well, if you are done with your regular full-body scan of me, I have to start preparing the dinner. I would ask you to join us, but as I am aware of your plans, I won't. So, bye." I said as I tried to go past him. His warm hand on my arm stopped me. It was really warm. And his smell—I think I can write a full-length research paper just on his physical appearance. I wouldn't publish it, of course. It would be just for me. I made a point not to look into his eyes because it is dangerous territory for me.

His palm burned my skin.

I could feel that he wanted me to look up at him, but I resisted.

He knows how I feel.

He knows.

Even though I have never mentioned it to him except that one time. And I don't plan to do it ever again.

He is my person. He is still my person.

I wished nothing changed between us. I want us to be the way we were before—laughing, teasing, and bothering each other without having to delve too deep into what the future holds for both of us. But now, everything is different. When we are close, it feels like my body is physically being pulled in his direction. I start feeling weak and irritated if I don't see him for one day. His touch is like a balm to my soul. I didn't want to believe in imprinting, but whenever I feel my body betraying me like this, I have no choice but to agree that there is another force at play. And it hurts that the Universe found my soulmate, but he wants nothing to do with me.

Talk about rejection.

"I'll see you later, Jacob." I pulled my arm from his grip as he said my name in his gentle tone. If only he knew how much self-control it took me not to hug him and melt in his arms. That's why I try not to let situations like this come up. I joke and argue with him because that is the only way to mask my emotions. That's the only way I can control my expressions around him.

I gave him a small smile and closed the door. My lips wobbled as I tried to blink back my tears. Fuck, not again. I promised myself that I would not let Jacob worry about me. And I know that he is still on my porch. If he hears me sniffle—he will come inside. A hundred percent. And that's not a conversation I want to have.

"See you tomorrow, May" His voice was low, as if it was difficult for him to get these words out. I heard him walk away and breathed a sigh of relief. At least now I can sulk alone in peace.