A/N: And here is Part 2 of our big flashback to what happened with Tori, Sam and Mia prior to the events of chapter 1.
WARNING: This one will get heavy, so if you're triggered by troubling things like violence and depression - Please PM me and I can give you a summary that spares the details.
Tori's phone rang and she was surprised to see it was the dance studio.
"Hello?"
"Yes, Tori! This is Whitney, Mia's dance instructor."
She nodded, "Yeah, is everything okay?"
There was a moment of silence.
"Forgive me but are you picking up your daughter? The other kids have gone home..."
"What are you talking about?" asked a confused Tori. "My husband Sam is getting her."
This next pause made her concerned. The next response made her scared.
"He hasn't come and Mia's still waiting. I can't be here for very much long-"
"I'll be right down!"
Tori hung up and quickly grabbed her apartment keys. Sam had the car, so she had to hail a taxi if she was going to be there ASAP.
That seven-minute cab ride was the longest seven minutes of her life. Sam didn't show to pick up Mia, which is impossible. He would drop everything for that girl, and he never broke a promise. No new texts, nothing. Tori tried to call Sam, but it went to voicemail. She clutched her stomach, fearing the worst.
Once the taxi parked in front of the studio, Tori paid her fare and raced up the stairs.
"MOMMY!"
Mia knocked the wind out of Tori who barely got down to her level when she latched on.
"Are you okay?" she asked her daughter.
She nodded and tried looking behind her mom.
"Where's daddy?"
Tori bit her lip and looked at Whitney, who was holding her pocketbook.
"Daddy probably lost track of the time; I'm sure he's alright."
Mia glanced at the clock hung high on the wall.
"But daddy always knows class is done at four," she said.
She scooped up her kid and thanked Whitney for sticking around and calling her.
The pair got into another cab and went home. Mia was chatting up the driver through the partition while Tori was getting even more worried. She kept trying to contact Sam and it remained one-sided.
"Something's wrong," she whispered. "Oh, God, please!"
A horrible feeling burned inside when they parked in front of their building and an LAPD car was there. One of the uniformed officers was talking to Miles. He caught sight of Tori and Mia, and his eyes gave it away. Something was wrong.
"Miles, what's going on?" she asked, shaken.
He dropped to his knees and started sobbing. Mia quickly hugged her uncle and Tori started crying herself.
Down at the station, the police told them what had happened.
Sam was doing some errands after dropping off Mia. Knowing he had an hour, he got to work. First, he went to the mechanic for an in-and-out oil change. Then he went to pick up some incidentals at the grocery store.
Unfortunately, a man who was fired from the store had returned with an assault rifle and tons of ammunition in one of the brown bags with the store's name on it. Fueled by rage he opened fire on 26 unsuspecting shoppers, a third of them children. Half were seriously injured while the other half had died. It would've been more if an off-duty cop in the store hadn't helped forces on the outside coordinate an opportunity to take the shooter out.
Sam Larson, sadly, was among the ones that didn't survive.
Tori was devastated, rocking back and forth in her chair.
(How could this happen? I saw him at lunch and now he's NEVER coming home?!)
She looked over at her daughter and her heart dropped to the floor.
(Oh, God! How am I going to tell Mia!)
Miles took over with paperwork and other questions the officers may have, leaving mother and daughter alone.
Tori took Mia over to a sofa that was at the end of the hallway. Nobody else around.
"Mia, honey...I need to tell you something...about daddy."
"Where is he?" the girl asked.
The Latina did her best to hold it in and be strong, but she couldn't do it. She hugged the girl, stroking her hair.
"It's bad, isn't it?"
"Yes," Tori sniffed. "Someone who wasn't well hurt a lot of people. And daddy was one of them."
Mia understood what death was. She had a hamster named Fidget and she loved that little rodent. One day, there wasn't much movement in the habitat and Tori was concerned. She reached in and dug through the cedar lining the floor; sometimes Fidget liked to hide. Only this time, Tori felt something cold. She pulled her hand out from the cedar and Fidget was laying there, stiff as a board.
That day, Sam and Tori had a long talk with Mia about death. They wanted to be honest, but they had to explain it in simple terms. Mia learned that when someone dies, their body just stops working, like they go to sleep and never wake up. Mia asked if Fidget was hurt by dying but Sam came in and said he doesn't think so. And Tori added that Fidget was very happy with them and loved having Mia as an owner.
The little girl teared up and they all hugged each other. Mia was very sad and when they had a little funeral for Fidget, she said a few words and said she'll miss her. What mattered is that they knew Fidget and they made her very happy while she was alive.
But this wasn't a pet.
You can say all you want about how the death of an animal prepares you for a family member or a friend, but it doesn't. Especially a parent, someone you trusted implicitly. Someone who made you feel safe. When they're gone, how can anything be good ever again?
"Mommy?"
Tori nodded.
"Daddy's dead, isn't he?"
A single tear rolled down her chubby cheek and the floodgates opened for mommy as well. The two embraced tightly, crying for what seemed like an eternity.
Eventually, Mia tired herself out and Tori carried her home and put her to bed.
Now in the living room, all alone in the dark, Tori fell to the floor and sobbed until fatigue took her.
That first year was the worst year ever.
Every little thing - birthdays, holidays, first day of school, every possible milestone was undercut by the clear absence of Sam.
Tori took some time off of work while Miles overtook the shop.
He was grieving, too but he was the sort of man who needed to keep busy while his mind sorted things out. Miles was worried if left to sit around, he would likely start drinking. It wasn't supposed to be this way! How dare the world take his little brother before him?
She checked in on the store and it would break her heart seeing Mia just sit there, passively looking at the store. It used to be a fun place, a magical place. And now it's just an empty place in her eyes.
It also didn't help Tori's nerves in the months since people coming in and asking about what happened to Sam. Then there were some who had heard the news and offered their condolences. They hugged Tori and Miles, but the former just let her arms hang down. The once exuberant woman looked like a husk of her old self.
Things came to a head when Tori had a nervous breakdown in the middle of the store. Keeping her emotions at bay, trying to deal with them one at a time, had failed and Tori just collapsed from the weight of her sadness. She crawled behind the counter so she wouldn't be seen.
"That's it!" she said, once making audible words was possible again. "I... I can't...do this anymore."
Miles sat beside her.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"THIS!" she sobbed, her hands indicating their surroundings.
Tori held her head in her hands.
"Not without him!"
He rubbed her back as she continued to weep.
"I understand," Miles said. "It's hard."
This record shop was a passion project of Sam's. He loved sharing it, but Tori wrestled with the question: does she have any right to keep it going without him? Maybe it was that. Or maybe the absence of Sam gave the store a new feel that didn't bode well with Tori.
Maybe a combination of the two.
Miles wanted to talk her out of it, but it was ultimately her decision as Sam's widow.
He was disappointed but he'd be lying if he didn't see where she was coming from. Tori can't change that she's now all alone to raise Mia. But she'll be damned if this place where she met Sam is going to constantly remind her of his absence.
(This was Sam's store, and it will always BE Sam's store!)
Tori came to rationalize that this thing represented her late husband and closing it for good felt right. In her mind, Sam and For The Record were permanently linked. She would lock up the shop, almost like a museum. Except you can visit a museum.
It became clear to Miles and eventually Mia that this more of a tomb, like the pharaohs of old.
Sam Larson, husband and father, was dead. And his treasures were to be locked away.
Mia was completely upset, as anyone who lost a father would be. But as a child, when you're still mentally and emotionally developing, how do you process this?
She was so confused.
As time wore on, Mia's sadness and confusion turned to anger.
(How could this have happened? He was MY daddy! WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE?)
It didn't seem fair. Not by a long shot.
Her dad was the kindest, funniest, most generous, and greatest man she ever knew.
And someone just comes along and shoots him dead? Where's the justice? How is that fair to him!?
How is this fair to her...?
By fourth grade, she began to act out. In fifth grade, Mia got detention for the first time.
Middle school harbored regular fights for the girl. She wasn't always the one that started fights, but her attitude made her a magnet for mayhem.
In eighth grade, Mia was finally expelled from school when she was caught breaking windows in the old gymnasium. Of course, her "friends" all scattered, leaving her to take the full brunt of the principal's wrath.
Tori was understandably fed up.
She had talked with Mia more than once about applying to Hollywood Arts when she was old enough.
Mia was reluctant, not just for how it was her suggestion, but also how would she apply? She didn't sing, or act, or write. But Tori asked about maybe dancing.
That made the young teenager tear up.
Whether it was taking her to practice or participating in one of her little shows; Mia's dad was ever-present in her love of dance.
How could she dance without him?
But she was smart enough to know when her mother meant business. Tori tried counseling and other methods, but nothing was helping with Mia's attitude problem. She remembered how things went from bad to worse when Mia started running with the wrong crowd. Tori couldn't help but recall how wonderful her friends were at Hollywood Arts.
Maybe a better caliber of friends would help her daughter as well.
Mia auditioned and, after some help from Lauren, was accepted.
It was certainly awkward, going to the same school that her mom was a teacher. Tori wisely made a point as to never have her as one of her students. She wanted to make things better for Mia, not worse. Indeed, the retiring of Helen Dubois and the appointment of Tori as acting principal added a new wrinkle to Mia's situation.
Some students avoided her on the basis that she was the principal's daughter. Others were naturally fearful of the girl, her reputation proceeding her. Mia's resting bitch face wasn't much help, either. But she eventually cultivated her friend group. After Lauren came the newcomer from the east coast, Chase. And the start of her third year brought the statuesque Jenna. Even she was a little standoffish of Mia, but it became clear that she was actually cool when you weren't a total ass to her.
Which is more than one can say for Savannah Gilmore.
Those two didn't get along from the jump. First of all, Savannah was a spoiled rotten valley girl, through and through. Tori thought the Northridge girls she knew from her youth were bad, but compared to Savannah they were small potatoes. This girl saw herself as the pride of Hollywood Arts. Now Jade West may have had a high opinion of herself but at least had the talent to back it up. Savannah acted and sang but she barely passed the bar.
Secondly, Savannah was openly dismissive of anyone who wasn't lily white. So, she especially hated the brown girl who didn't take any of her shit. She often wrote off Mia and her friends as a gaggle of "rejects." Lauren oftentimes had to calm Mia down ("Don't give her satisfaction. That's what she wants!").
Her friends were more like hangers-on that just tried to glob onto her popularity and by proxy money. And she was definitely from money. Her father was Theodore "Ted" Gilmore. He was the proprietor of several business in town, including a few restaurants.
Speaking of restaurants, Mia applied to one of these establishments. Cordelia's was a server of Italian cuisine and they had a help wanted sign for waiters and waitresses. Little did Mia know who the owner's daughter was. And wouldn't you know it, she was given a cushy job of helping daddy wade through resumes. Savannah automatically threw away any names that sounded "too ethnic" in the bin. Of course, when she came across the girl she despised from school, Savannah really rubbed it in.
"Oh, I'm sure you'll get over it. Perhaps you would be more comfortable at a fruit stand or, I know, mowing lawns. Maybe if you're nice to me I can convince my father to have you do our..."
Savannah was met with a headbutt. Her fault for standing too close to Mia. Before storming off, the girl pointed down at Savannah and told her to fuck off an die.
Mia tried her best, she really did, but that girl knew just had to push her buttons.
Tori continued going through the motions in the beginning but ultimately threw herself into her work. Things seemed like they were finally looking up when Mia got accepted into Hollywood Arts. At least her two worlds can co-exist. She had felt stretched thin for years.
Miles visited from time to time, offering up his services as a babysitter. But as her daughter got older, she didn't need to be watched as much. Mia was sixteen now. She even got a part-time job. There was this deli round the corner and Mia was making deliveries for them. They weren't far (Mia used her bike) and it was only a couple nights a week.
She was proud of how far her daughter was coming along but something still felt off.
Tori knew that her relationship with Mia wasn't the same as her and Sam. She would look back and see her little girl's face looking up at her dad in admiration. Nowadays, Tori felt like Mia was regarding her with mild contempt.
Some nights, the tired mother would lay awake at night, terrified that one day she will come home and Mia will be gone. No note, no phone message; just gone. And she will never come back. Tori wondered if that was why Mia was so eager to get a job to earn some money. It wasn't like Tori hadn't been giving her an allowance for some time now.
(Was she hoarding cash away?)
(Is she planning to leave me?)
Wouldn't that be the final nail in the coffin!
Disgraced pop star Tori Vega, having found the love of her life and started a family, only to have this happy world disintegrate. Now, she would be left alone.
And Tori couldn't shake the feeling like she deserved to be alone.
(Who cares what you lost? You could have been a better mother! No wonder Mia's planning to ditch you!)
She tried to keep a brave face, especially in the beginning, when Mia was around. But when she was by herself, Tori had nothing but her thoughts. And they weren't good. It doesn't happen very often but she had her moments.
One night, feeling particularly low, Tori sat on the bathroom floor for a really long time.
She held the green plastic stick in her hand. It was one of the box cutters from the store. Tori knew a screwdriver opened the case up, revealing the exposed razor blade. She had to switch out the dull blade for a fresh one a few times.
Tori held the shiny blade, not a spec of dirt or imperfection on the business end. As sharp as you could get.
She stared at it for a while, holding the thin piece of metal between her fingertips.
The turning of the knob made her jump and drop the blade onto the linoleum.
"Mom, why is the door locked?"
(Oh God!)
She held her chest as she got her bearings and unlocked the door.
"What's going on?" Mia asked.
Tori covered the blade with her foot.
"Nothing. Sorry I didn't realize I locked it."
As Mia entered the bathroom, Tori quickly picked up the razor and left.
She threw it into the trash and flopped onto the couch.
If Tori didn't feel bad already, the thought of wanting to end the pain made her feel worse.
(I can't believe I almost...what about Mia? You're so STUPID!)
Tears streamed down her face but she kept her sobs silent so Mia wouldn't hear.
Tori grabbed a photo of Sam and hugged it to herself.
"I'm so sorry. It should have been me," she whispered.
A/N: Sorry I brought you all down with this one. Next chapter we are back to the present and we see what everyone is doing.
Also, I don't want you to judge Tori too harshly in her decision to close the store. She clearly tried to make it work but the agony of Sam's absence is most felt down there. It wasn't selfishness or anything like that. Her reasoning was bore out of grief and respect for her late husband.