Chapter 1 - Capture
Plot: Found and raised by Sidious, Anakin is on Naboo when the Jedi find him. Given an offer to help the Jedi against a rising threat greater than both the Jedi and Sith, Anakin reluctantly accepts. He's left in Obi-Wan's custody, and the two have to move past their differences to work together. Except, more and more Anakin begins to question if being a Sith is what he truly wants.
Author's Note: I've seen countless Sith-raised Anakin fics, but I've honestly never liked how he's portrayed in any of them very much, so I decided to do my own take on that in here. :)
~ Tirana Sorki
PS. This is a gift for Avaricious_Trash on ao3, and it's for the Obikin 2023 bingo. :)
~ Amina Gila
The Force is always overwhelming. It always has been, though once, years ago, before Ankin's training started, he couldn't feel it so strongly.
It didn't burn in every inch of his body, didn't ache so badly he can hardly breathe.
The Force is what makes him useful, but sometimes, it just hurts. Sometimes, he doesn't want to be able to feel every ache and worry from those within a hundred klicks, wishes he didn't have to feel the pain and death and hurt.
He tried telling his master that once, after an explosion, after he felt the deaths of dozens of people, felt as their lives were ripped away, ripping out a piece of himself along with it. It had hurt, but all his master said was, "their pain makes you stronger, my boy. It is a gift, to be cherished", which did very little to help.
It didn't. Never has. Couldn't.
But Anakin knows better than to question his master.
Anakin is used to death – he grew up on Tatooine, and his Mom –
He can feel death from even farther away sometimes, especially when he's meditating. It makes him a living conduit of the Force, and Sidious always tells him to use that to destroy, and there – there are some people who deserve to be destroyed, but Anakin can't – doesn't know how to hurt people.
But something is wrong.
It's far away and elusive, but it's twisting and burning in the Force, doing the same in his mind. He can't place it now more than he has since whenever it first showed up, but it's getting stronger. Worse. It's something destructive, something that it feels like he should do something about, but he's not done training yet.
Doesn't... want to be done training yet.
But something is wrong, and his master is still away to some political meeting, and Anakin doesn't want to be alone.
The only other one here is Threepio, and Sidious had him shut off a month ago.
He – he came with Anakin when Maul took him from Tatooine, and he's all Anakin has had since, except his master.
But... Sidious isn't here now. It isn't like he'd know if it was for just a few minutes, right?
Sidious is his master. He raised him. He – he took care of him, and Anakin shouldn't do something that he told him not to, either. It's – it's complicated, because he's terrified to be stuck here alone right now.
The place – Sidious' mansion on Naboo – is too big. It's too quiet, and it feels like something's coming.
It was his fault, really, not Threepio's, and he still doesn't think it's fair to leave him off for so long. Not that he dares push the matter with Sidious though, so he doesn't order the droid dismantled altogether. Anakin had been the idiot who thought giving the droid a lightsaber was a good idea, anyway. He shouldn't have – if someone came and saw lightsaber marks inside Palpatine's home, it would incriminate them both. He could've gotten them killed or – or something, and it was an accident, but that doesn't make it okay.
He misses Threepio, and he wants to talk to him again, even if it's only for a few minutes.
He –
Doesn't want to be stuck here alone.
Something's wrong.
Something's happening, and Anakin is used to being absorbed in his mechanical madness – he likes building and fixing things, and it's good at distracting him – when he's not learning. It helps, but not right now.
Something's wrong, and it's itching and burning inside him, and he can't keep ignoring it.
Sidious would be so angry if he knew, but he... doesn't have to? Not if Anakin's fast and careful. The meeting wasn't supposed to be over for another hour or so.
He waits a little longer, until the silence starts grating on him beyond the point of ignoring, and he finally stands, tossing aside the tools he was using to fix the ship he was working on. Sidious hates it when Anakin gets grease all over his clothes, but he's only ever been used to fixing machines, and he can't imagine doing anything else.
Threepio has been kept in the back. Anakin knows where he is, and he carefully steps around the mechanical parts strewn on the floor in the back room of their garage area, hand hovering a moment longer.
It still feels like he's doing something terribly wrong somehow by simply wanting this, but he needs – someone. He's desperate enough for someone that he doesn't even care right now.
The droid whirrs back to life the moment Anakin flicks the switch.
"Master Anakin?" he yelps, jerking.
"Shh," Anakin cautions immediately, "We just have a few minutes."
"Oh my," the droid yelps, "I believe my joints are getting rusty from sitting."
Anakin winces. "Yeah, it's been a few weeks. I miss you." He glances towards the doorway instinctively, but there's nothing. Of course, there isn't. He's just being paranoid. "Something's wrong," Anakin continues, "I sense a disturbance I can't make sense of."
"I'm afraid I do not understand this Force," Threepio complains.
"I know," Anakin reminds, "But... I don't wanna be alone right now."
"Oh, dear," Threepio says, instantly freaking out, "Did Lord Sidious permit you to –"
"Turn you on? No," Anakin answers, "But something's wrong, and he's not here." He's not that young anymore, but he still has no idea how to deal with this. It's not... what he was trained for. He was supposed to be with his master for longer, and something's about to change.
He doesn't know what.
But something.
Anakin doesn't understand it, but he doesn't like it. He doesn't know what Sidious has felt either, because his master always knows these things before he does. That shouldn't be possible – Anakin is far stronger than him, but he still doesn't pick up those things.
And predictably, right when he's mid-thinking that, he senses Sidious.
"Oh, no," Anakin breathes, eyes wide. "He's back."
He shuts Threepio off mid-protest.
He wasn't supposed to be back already, and if he finds out, Anakin has no idea what he'll do. He doesn't want to know.
His master steps in before Anakin has time to get to a non-incriminating part of the room.
"Anakin," he says icily, and he flinches back instinctively, "I told you to stay away from that droid."
How – how is he even here? He wasn't supposed to be back until later, and he wasn't supposed to know, and why did Anakin think this was a good idea? He has no idea why he just did that, why he thought it was a good idea in the first place.
"I – I –" He has no idea what to say, and it suddenly feels like he's young again, trapped on Tatooine with no way out, caught by Watto doing something. It could've been anything – maybe he misplaced something, maybe he was caught trying to –
Something. Anything.
Sidious has hurt him, but it was never like the masters did on Tatooine. He shouldn't expect him to hurt him, but his master is angry, and Anakin has never seen him this angry since a month ago when he tried giving Threepio a lightsaber for the first time.
"I was very clear," he hisses.
His heart is hammering, and he feels cold. Freezing. He can't lash out, but if he could, he would, purely out of fear. The Dark Side is fueled by fear, and he should let it fuel him, but he can't think about anything other than a panicked I shouldn't have done that and the desperate hammering of his heart.
"I know," Anakin whispers, voice tiny. He wants to disappear. He wishes he could disappear into the floor, that he had somewhere to go, but there's nothing he can do except stand here and wait for whatever his master will decide.
He often finds Anakin's habits annoying, but he rarely gets angry.
He wants to cry. Or hide. Or something. If he'd only waited ten minutes longer, Sidious would've been back, and they could talk, and nothing would have had to go wrong.
"Do you understand what will happen if you lead the Jedi to us?" Sidious demands.
"Yes," Anakin mumbles.
"Evidently, not clear enough."
He feels something in the Force, something dangerous approaching, but Anakin can't focus on anything except Sidious and the fact that he's blocking off the only doorway in the room, not as if he'd run, anyway. He feels trapped, and he has nowhere to go, and even if he did, he wouldn't leave.
Couldn't.
He's a Sith, and Sidious is the only person he has. There's no other place he can go. He can't hide from the Jedi. Sidious has to hide him and – and – Sidious freed him. Anakin owes him everything. He's been raising him for the past six years, ever since he was rescued from Tatooine. He was nine then, and he's fifteen now.
Sidious is about to say something, but danger flares in the Force, and he pauses, turning.
There's knocking from the front door. It's loud, hard, and Anakin immediately has a very, very bad feeling about this.
They're on Naboo. It's a peaceful planet, aside from when someone gets on the Trade Federation's bad side. The corporation is ruling the planet now, and if anyone goes against what they want, they'll send their droids after them.
Is – is something wrong? Is that why he came back early? Did they – but Palpatine is one of the people in charge, and has been ever since he left office after his first term as Chancellor.
They came to Naboo, so his master could focus on Anakin's training, but they were careful. They were always careful. How could someone have realized?
"It's the Jedi," Sidious says, voice still as icy as ever.
"What do we do?" This is undoubtedly Anakin's fault somehow. Either he did something stupid, or they finally sensed his presence for the first time. Sidious had to hide him in the Works the entire time they were on Coruscant, because his presence was so bright.
Naboo is calmer, and quieter, and he has no right to complain about being overwhelmed here.
"To start," Sidious snaps back, "Quell your fear, or you will alert them."
"Sorry," he mumbles, knowing it won't help, but he – it –
He has no idea what'll happen now. The Jedi's presence may not mean they were caught. It – it could be something else, and Anakin struggles to tell himself that as he draws his shields up, trying to hide. He's good at hiding, but his presence is so strong it will never stop radiating everywhere. It annoys Sidious, and it annoys Anakin, too, because he's supposed to be better than this. He's supposed to be a Sith, and he's not supposed to let his master down.
The entire galaxy is counting on them to save it, to rebuild from the ashes, and there's no time for him to panic about things. They can fight if they have to. It's not that hard. They know what to do.
Anakin stays a distance behind, carefully out of sight when his master goes to the door.
Something's about to happen – he can feel the way the Force is burning around him, tensed with action. Something's about to go downhill, and fast, and it... won't be pretty. Or pleasant. Something's changing, and Anakin has sensed that for a long time, but it's happening now, and he's not well sure he likes it.
Anakin can make out the voices clearly, hearing Palpatine asking them neutrally what they want.
"In the name of the Republic, you are under arrest," replies one of them. Anakin can't see him from here, but he feels darker in the Force than he thought the Jedi were supposed to.
Force. The Jedi know. They know, and Anakin has no idea how that's possible. How could they have found out? They were always careful, and he – He doesn't remember doing anything stupid that could possibly have led to this, but this was everything they couldn't have happened. The Sith's plans have been in the works for a millennium now, because they were good at hiding in plain sight, so how were they caught? And what will they do now?
They can fight their way out of here, but what then?
"On what grounds?" Sidious demands sharply, and Anakin can feel his anger. Something he'll undoubtedly be facing more of later, and he's almost more afraid of that than having to fight through the Jedi. It will be the first real fight he'll ever have fought in, at least against Force wielders.
And he's not supposed to be scared, because Sidious told him to stop and he's a Sith so he's supposed to be stronger than this, but he can't just make it stop.
"You're a Sith," the same voice replies, chillingly cold.
"Surrender, and this won't need to be a fight," another voice interjects. It's deeper, but somehow not as sharp.
Anakin doesn't know who reacted first, but he hears the sound of lightsabers activating and that's his cue to join. He's not going to just stand there and watch as the Jedi hurt his master. He has to help, even if he's never fought for real before. The one benefit they have is that the Jedi couldn't – shouldn't – have been able to account for him.
Sidious already has both his blades in hand, jumping at the Jedi in front when Anakin rounds the corner, igniting his own lightsaber. The Jedi he's attacking has a purple lightsaber – it must be Windu; Anakin's seen him briefly on the holonews before and now that he thinks about it, the voice was familiar.
Of course, they'd send someone that important to deal with Sith, but it's still a little unnerving to see.
There's a Kel Dor and a Zabrak there too, though the fourth one – a human – catches Anakin's attention a moment longer. He seems significantly younger than the others, probably not old enough to be a Jedi Master, not that it matters.
All that does matter is getting out of here.
"An apprentice," the fourth one realizes, his accent distinctly Coruscanti.
Anakin doesn't wait, lunging at them. His red blade clashes against the Kel Dor's first; the other three are focusing on trying to fend off Sidious, who's very obviously going for the kill. Which is what they have to do, if they're going to get out of here.
But that doesn't mean Anakin can well imagine the thought of actually killing someone. Yes, he already knows that's what he's been taught to, trained to do, but he hasn't actually done it, and he can't imagine... Though this would be entirely in self-defense, because the Jedi are trying to kill them, aren't they? That's what Jedi do.
Doesn't mean Anakin is any more comfortable with the thought of actually killing anyone.
Windu is doing surprisingly well against Sidious, even if all four of them are moving in a constant blur of blue and red, too fast for Anakin to keep track of. Not that he can, when he's focusing on fighting the other Jedi.
He's never done this before against a real opponent – sparring against Sidious doesn't count; he has before and the Sith master certainly never went easy on him, but he knew he wouldn't kill him – but he's learning fast how to counter every move the Jedi throws at him, fending him off.
Throwing every ounce of the desperation he feels into his moves is easy. He lets his fear fuel him, because right now, it's the easiest emotion to reach. He can't find the hate and anger Sidious always seems to fuel himself with – for Anakin, though, fear has been a natural part of him that he's felt ceaselessly even on Tatooine, so it's not hard.
But the Jedi Master is still good. Anakin's just an apprentice, for all his strength in the Force, and he's not skilled enough. He isn't winning the fight fast enough.
Electricity strikes the Zabrak, flinging him across the room, and Windu uses the moment to shove him back. The Kel Dor pushes Anakin back, spinning and swinging for Sidious, trying to find an opening while he's momentarily disoriented, though his master is already recollecting himself, hastily blocking the blow.
Instead of instantly pressing the attack, Windu turns away, going for Anakin instead. He hastily brings up his blade to deflect the purple one, and he can see that determination, that loathing, in the Jedi's eyes of what he is – so unlike what the Jedi preach to be.
Windu is using every move Anakin fuels with the Dark Side against him, though. He's... countering it easily, far much more so than the Kel Dor was. He's – he's better than Anakin, and there's no doubt about that.
The other three are... doing poorly against Sidious' without Windu's help, but if –
Windu strikes faster than Anakin can block, blade burning across Anakin's left arm. It's not that bad, but it burns, and he jerks back instinctively with a hiss.
Long enough that Windu twists his blade, sending Anakin's lightsaber flying from his hands. He steps forwards swiftly, catching Anakin's right arm so he can't Force-throw him or get away, leveling the lightsaber at his neck.
Anakin can feel the heat of the blade against his neck, and he presses away from it instinctively, but he can hardly pull away without getting himself killed.
"Surrender," Windu orders, a distinct note of dark satisfaction in his voice. The implications are obvious enough to not need to be voiced.
And here Anakin genuinely thought the Jedi were above things like this. He has no idea why.
They're going to kill him anyway, and even if Anakin doesn't have that much he cares for, doesn't have many people alive who would miss him, he doesn't want to die. Certainly not like this. He doesn't know how he let himself get defeated and whatever happens next will be his fault and –
Sidious pauses, turning towards them, expression darkening. "Or what?" he asks, mockingly, though Anakin can hear the suppressed fury, "Killing him is against the Jedi way, is it not?"
"Surrender," Windu repeats, voice icy, and Anakin struggles against him, but there's nothing he can do. He can't pull away, unless he wants to get beheaded or stabbed two seconds later.
He could swear the blade moves just slightly closer, which is so totally against everything the Jedi preach, but he's not really surprised about that.
Sidious glowers at them – Anakin's fairly certain that glare is directed just as much at him, but he'd rather not find out – but after a very long pause of silence, he flicks off his lightsabers.
One of the Jedi steps forwards, snapping stun cuffs onto his wrists, or at least that's what they look like, but the first thing Anakin feels with jarring sharpness is the way it closes him off from the Force.
Force-restraints, then, probably standard protocol when capturing Sith.
He doesn't even care what they're for or why they're being used. Can't think about anything other than how he suddenly feels completely empty and dead and if the entire galaxy died in a heartbeat, Anakin wouldn't even know, and then, he'd be the only person left alive, and what would he do then?
... That is such a stupid thing to panic over, but now that it's crossed his mind, it's stuck, and he tries to force air into his lungs, stumbling forwards blindly when one of the Jedi pushes him forwards.
Being able to feel so much is overwhelming and it burns, but that's better than this.
The Kel Dor Jedi leads him outside – the rest are gathered around his master, which Anakin has to admit is probably wise for them – towards the nearby shuttle.
Sidious glances his way a few times, but Anakin can't read his expression. It's probably either anger or worry, or a bit of both, he doesn't really know. He can't feel him, can't reach out with the Force like he wants to, to see if – if they're alright or what's happening or anything at all.
He settles back against the wall once they're taken aboard, closing his eyes. He's already exhausted, and his head is pounding.
His arm is still burning, throbbing, and Anakin is accustomed to pain enough to not even be phased by it.
Doesn't mean it's comfortable.
Nothing about this is.
He just wants to be back at home, and he can feel the vibrations as the engine picks up, and they take off. He doesn't want to go.
He knows where they're being taken, and he doesn't want to go. Doesn't – he might not always have been the most hopeful on Naboo, with his training, and sometimes, everything felt lonely and impossible, but it was still something. It wasn't like now, when he has no idea what's about to happen to either him or his master.
They don't have a way out, and he can't use the Force. He can't try jump-attacking the Jedi or... any of the things he'd do otherwise. He's supposed to be a Sith, and not fall for something as stupid as this.
Sidious is sitting next to him, and Anakin glances sideways at him, but his master says nothing. Not that they could talk privately right now anyway. The younger human Jedi is back here, sitting on the opposite side of the room, watching them with a scowl permanently fixed onto his face.
Sidious probably has some way of getting them out of here, because he seems impossibly prepared for every possible contingency, and Anakin can't imagine his master not being so in control of everything happening. Maybe that's half of what makes this so terrifying, because it was definitely never supposed to happen, and he has no idea what they're going to do now. And he can't ask either.
The door to the hold opens sometime later, after they've made the jump to hyperspace, and the Kel Dor approaches them. "You were injured," he says, by way of explanation, crouching on Anakin's left side.
... What?
Why would he care about that? The Sith are their enemies, who they wouldn't hesitate to kill without a second thought, if Windu is anything to go by. Unless the Kel Dor is just an exception. Maybe he is. There are exceptions to everything, right?
Anakin nods uncertainly, staying still as the Jedi leans forwards, carefully tugging up his sleeve to reveal the wound. The burn looks about as awful as it feels, but he doesn't think it's that deep.
It's hardly comfortable to be letting someone who's his enemy touch him this personally, especially when he can't even sense him or his intentions. Feeling so much had hurt, but feeling nothing hurts even more, and it's far more terrifying.
He's not expecting the Jedi to be quite so gentle about treating it, either. No one's really taken care of him since his mom. And that was so many years ago, he'd long forgotten what it was like. It was something he knew he'd never have again, because she's gone.
Grief still threatens to overwhelm him when he thinks about her too long, remembering her smile and her gentleness, and – He'd lost her not long before becoming a Sith, and he was still struggling with that, with how was he supposed to just move on and keep living when he'd ended up with Sidious.
"Use your pain to fuel you. It... is a gift if you choose to use its power," Sidious had always told him. It took him time to understand how that even made sense, but that never made it stop hurting.
And... Now is not the time to get lost in thinking about her.
But it's jarring to see a Jedi acting the way Anakin always imagined they did, back in the days he was still with his mother and dreamed that one day he might become one. That changed after it was the Sith who rescued him, after he realized how corrupt the Jedi truly were.
They left him on Tatooine, like all the other slaves, because they never mattered. They didn't think his mother mattered, either, and she died because of it. That... isn't something he can forgive.
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