Dipper's journal entries are great, 'cause they help me remember what the heck I wrote in the last one lol. By the by...have you ever read the Gravity Falls Lost Legends? They're four graphic novels by the creator. You should totally read them.

June 4th

Technically, it's June 4th, since it's after midnight… It's currently almost 2 o'clock in the morning as I'm writing this. We went to a party today. Uh, yesterday? McGucket decided to hold a party at the Northwest manor, which he owns, and invited the whole town. Grunkle Stan didn't want to go because he "didn't feel like putting pants on", so he stayed home with Bud. Amy didn't want to go either, but Mabel insisted and ended up clinging to her leg until she agreed to go. Ford came too, only to keep an eye on Bill and catch up with McGucket.

It was great to see everyone again and catch up. We met up with Mabel's friends, Grenda and Candy, and we got to hang out with Soos and Wendy. We even ran into Gideon, briefly. He, uh, crawled out from under one of the tables. Not sure what he was doing under there. Spying maybe? Weirdo. They all know about Bill now, though, and I'm glad they do. Just in case. Mabel and I made plans to meet up with Soos and Wendy at the Shack this Sunday.

Speaking of Bill… He didn't really do anything the whole time at the party. I was half expecting him to pull something, but maybe he didn't want the whole town to know about him yet? Or maybe Amy told him to behave. Either way, all he did was hang around Amy and talk to her. I don't know what they were talking about though, but apparently it was funny, whatever it was. Other than that, they did share a dance when one of those fancy waltzes played. I didn't take Amy for the type to know how to waltz. Oh! She also has this super nice convertible. It's practically brand new! Who knew? She said it was a gift. I wonder who from?

Other than Grunkle Stan, the only person we didn't see at the party was Pacifica. We saw her briefly at some point last summer but didn't really get the chance to talk to her or anything. I'd like to find her and catch up. See how she's doing and all… I'll make a point of it this time.

Anyways, it's after two now and I'm tired. I think I'm going to sleep in today.

…

Amy leaned on the shovel's handle and watched as Mabel ran, screaming, from the angry rooster. The hens clucked and fluttered out of the way as the two ran past, scattering feathers in the wake. Bud, normally calm, was barking loudly at them from the porch. Suddenly, Mabel tripped and the rooster jumped at her, but Amy was already upon them and blocked the chicken with the shovel head. The rooster's talons scraped against the metal then the chicken dropped to its feet and tilted his head to look up at her. After making a few curious clucking noises it turned and strutted away calmly as if nothing had happened.

Mabel sat up, panting. "Oh boy, I thought that crazy chicken was gonna get me for sure!"

Amy stuck the shovel head into the ground. "I told you, if you run, he's going to chase you."

"I know, he's just so scary!"

"What's all the commotion out here?" Dipper asked as he exited the house.

Amy shrugged. "Your sister insists on befriending the rooster, but he disagrees. I mean, it's kind of his job to protect the hens and the eggs."

"Why doesn't he attack you?" Dipper asked.

"I raised him. Also, I have a shovel." She pulled the shovel from the ground and walked off to place it inside the old barn. She looked around as she exited the barn. "All right, everything looks to be in order… for now. If you two don't mind, I'm just going to be lazy today and read a book. I trust you can entertain yourselves?"

"I will do my best to keep Mabel away from the chickens," Dipper saluted as his sister took off excitedly somewhere else.

Amy shook her head with a small smile then walked over to the pond and sat at the weeping willow's base. The tree was large and its branches and tendrils were long and hung low, almost touching the surface of the water. Sitting beneath the old tree on nice days was relaxing, enchanting even, as the green tendrils swayed slightly with the breeze. The shady curtain it made was peaceful and gave off a strange sense of security. She was so relaxed that she almost didn't hear Bud's footsteps as the dog brought over a black book with a pen hanging from its spine and placed it in her lap. "I wanted to read," she smiled at her dog. "This is my sketch book."

"Oh?" a voice from above caused them both to look up. Bill was sitting amongst the base of the branches and looking down at them. "What do you draw?"

"Usually whatever I see, but I haven't drawn in a long time." She watched him jump down from the tree and sit down beside her, all in one quick movement. "What are you climbing trees for?"

"Why? Are you worried?" He snatched up the book and began to skim through it.

"No, not really," she laughed and took the book back. "Should I be?" She looked through a few old sketches of animals and creatures that she remembered seeing and drawing. The last drawing was of the tree hanging over the pond; the drawings were well kept.

"You should be, but not for me." He crossed his arms behind his head and leaned back against the tree.

Amy flipped the page and began to draw. "Good thing I'm not then," she smirked. After a moment of silent drawing, she spoke again. "You heard it too, right?" She looked up at him. "In the forest."

"Nope."

"Liar."

"Then why did you bother asking?"

"I usually hear whispers there every now and then, but that eerie silence was different. It was like everything was holding its breath, even you." Amy eyed Bill, but as usual his expression was rather unreadable.

After a moment he looked at her. "Well, it's not me that they want. If anything, they just want me to leave."

She waited a moment for an explanation, but he seemed to have gotten distracted watching her draw, or maybe he just didn't want to explain. Either way, Amy decided that they likely weren't much of a threat, at least not to them. She looked up briefly to catch a glimpse of the twins standing near the sheep fence and wondered if she should tell them to stay out of that part of the woods. Maybe she should tell them not to go there, at least not without her, but then again that might make them want to go.

Sensing her slight unease and hesitation, Bud stood up and trotted around the pond to go check on the twins.

"Hey there old doggy," Mabel patted the dog's head as he came to a stop in front of her. Bud sniffed at her feet then looked up with his tail wagging and tongue hanging out. "Do you want to play with us?"

He barked.

"All right!"

"Wasn't one of Amy's rules not to mess with the sheep?" Dipper asked as his sister climbed over the wooden fence.

"Don't be such a downer," Mabel laughed. "You comin' or what?"

He looked confused. "Eh, no thanks. I'll pass. I'm going to go check out that fairy door again." As Dipper headed back towards the house, Bud glanced from brother to sister and eventually followed after him.

Upon entering the house, Dipper noticed that it was very quiet, aside from Stan's snoring and the TV of course. He figured Ford was likely in his room, probably working on that secret thing he'd been working on since they got there. Dipper took out his journal and sketched a quick drawing of the fairy door. After a few minutes, Bud whimpered and walked to the stairs, stopping just at the base before turning back to look at the boy. "What is it, boy?" As Dipper approached, the dog began to climb the stairs. He waited at the top for Dipper before walking down the hallway.

For a moment Dipper was uneasy as he stared down the dark hallway. The upstairs lights were off and there were no windows in the hallway. It was actually the first time that he had gone up the stairs as everything he needed was on the first floor. After his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he was able to locate Bud standing patiently by a closed door to the left; it was the only door on that side. As he came to the door Bud began sniffing at its base as if the dog wanted to go inside. Dipper tried to look through the old keyhole but could only see a curtain-covered window whose light faintly outlined what looked to be a grand piano covered by a white sheet.

"Amy's room is the attic," he mumbled. "So, what's in there?" Standing up straight, he slowly turned the cold bronze doorknob and was surprised to find that it was not locked. The old door creaked on its hinges as it slowly opened on its own weight. Dipper was hesitant to enter the dark room, but Bud stepped inside almost as soon as the door was fully open. "Well, she never mentioned any rules about going in here," he said as he entered as well and felt for a light switch. Finally, he located the switch and flipped it on. As the lights came on, he found himself face-to-face with a full seven-foot tall raptor skeleton; he yelled and fell backwards, breathing heavily. Bud was quickly at his side sniffing him over. "I'm fine, I'm fine," he brushed himself off.

As his breathing steadied, he looked around to find that the room was very large and took up the majority of the left side of the second floor. There were two windows both covered by dark blue curtains, one across from the door while the other was at the other end of the room where the front of the house was. The room itself was filled with all sorts of items and knickknacks but for the most part it was neat and organized in its own way and the center of the room was kept clear aside from a strange red and gold colored rug splayed out on the floor. The objects appeared to be from places all over the world, from vases to jewelry to figurines and books, as well as many other artifacts. Some items looked new while others appeared ancient, but despite the cold empty feeling, there wasn't a speck of dust to be found.

"Whoa," he looked around curiously at the vast number of items; large objects on the floor and smaller, less heavy-looking ones resting on tables and shelves. He stopped at the edge of the rug to examine the strange pattern displayed on it. The rug itself was a dark red and golden lines and markings along it formed the image of what looked like a western style dragon breathing fire. There were images of lightning depicted above it as well as rain drops and lines that seemed to represent blowing winds. At its feet were flowers and stones, and the earth cracking under its claws. "Something to do with the elements maybe?" he thought aloud. The image of the creature was fearsome but at the same time it gave off a sense of balance and harmony.

Bud's bark startled him and broke his focus and he looked up to see the dog staring up at a dark red, wooden pedestal. Atop the pedestal was a dull brown book with the same image as the rug displayed on its cover, but silver instead of gold. Not wanting to step on the rug, Dipper maneuvered around it to where the pedestal and book were and carefully opened the book. After flipping through a bunch of pages he looked down at Bud. "It's blank," he closed the book to examine the cover, "but there's some weird writing on the front. I've never seen symbols like this. I wonder what it means." He picked up the book from its pedestal and hurried out of the room, across the hall, and knocked on Ford's door.

"Dipper," Ford looked a bit surprised when he opened the door. "Did something happen? What do you have there?"

"Great uncle Ford," he held the book up for him to see. "Check this out! This book looks ancient, but it's completely blank."

Ford skimmed through the book and, sure enough, it was all blank. "Hm. Where did you get this?"

"In the room across the hall," Dipper said. "Uh… Bud led me to it." The dog entered upon hearing his name and barked once at the sight of the book.

"Dipper, you can't just go through Amy's belongings…" He examined the cover. "These symbols… I've never seen these before."

Dipper ignored his first statement. "Darn, I was hoping you knew what they said. Maybe I should ask Amy, but she might get mad at me for going through her stuff. But it's not like the door was locked…"

Amy shut her book as she finished drawing and stared hard through the willow tendrils at Mabel who was in the sheep pen. Without a word, she stood up straight and walked over to the pen. Bill nosily followed her. She stopped at the gate, head tilted, and a confused look on her face, as she watched Mabel decorating the sheep with colorful bows and glitter. Some of them even had little stars sticking to their wool. The sheep obviously didn't care as they simply continued to graze while she decorated them. "What in all of creation did you do to my sheep?!" Amy shouted.

Mabel smiled widely. "I made them stand out from each other! Now you can tell who's who and they have style." She placed a pair of glasses on the sheep beside her.

"Sheep aren't supposed to stand out from each other," Amy said. "And that's what they have ear tags for! Darn it, Mabel! I raise sheep to sell their wool. Now I'm going to have to clean the glitter out."

Before Mabel could retort, Dipper came running up to them with Bud and Ford not far behind. "Amy, I… What happened to the sheep?"

"Your sister, that's what." Amy huffed then noticed the book he was holding. "Why do you have that?"

"Huh? Oh, uh… Bud wanted to go into that room upstairs and… Sorry. I just wanted to know what these symbols on the front mean, and why is the book blank?"

Behind Amy, Bill narrowed his eye. Amy stared down at the book for a long moment, as if debating something. "That… was my father's. It's called the Enchiridion, but the symbols say 'All Knowing.'"

"'All Knowing?'" he echoed. "But it's empty."

"Yes," she nodded. "It's magic."

Mabel leapt over the fence at the word. "Magic!? Like unicorns and fairies?"

"Ugh, unicorns…" Amy looked annoyed for a moment. "The Enchiridion is supposedly infused with dragon magic. Words and images appear in response to questions, even, sometimes, three-dimensional images that move. But it doesn't always respond. It depends on what you want to know I guess."

"No way, really?" He looked excited. "How does it work?"

"Yeah, show us!" Mabel chimed in.

She thought of something to ask it. "Hm… All right. Where is my rooster, Chuck?"

The book suddenly flew open in Dipper's hands and quickly flipped through several pages before coming to a stop. A holographic-like image sprung from the pages, showing the rooster strutting around the chicken coop. They looked back towards the coop to see the exact scene the book had displayed.

"That's incredible," Ford remarked. "Why, you can even hear the sounds as well! So, this 'book' shows real time occurrences?"

She shrugged. "Past or present but not the future. My father used it for research. It was gifted to him."

"By who?"

Amy went silent. "Um… a friend of my mother's. Hm, you can hold onto it for a while if you want."

"Really?!" The twins were excited.

"You're going to let those pests use the Enchiridion as they please?" Bill shot her a look.

She returned the glare. "What's it to you? It's my book. Besides, only dragon magic can damage or destroy it, so it's not like they'll mess it up." She huffed and turned away from him.

"Ugh."

…

"She gave it to them…"

"He's still there."

"That is to be expected... You know that… He knows we are watching."

"I know… His powers are broken. We could kill him."

"I could never."

"I could."

"You won't."

"Oh?"

"…You won't. It wouldn't stop what is to come anyhow… Ragnarok doesn't need him anymore."

*Hiss* "Don't speak that name!"

"Fine… Let us go to Gaia."

…

The two siblings and Waddles sat around the book placed on the floor in their room and stared at it, thinking. "What should we ask it?" Mabel spoke up. She gasped. "We could ask it about Amy's parents!"

Dipper seemed hesitant. "Hmm, I guess… Okay, Enchiridion, what exactly happened to Amy's parents?" The book was unresponsive.

"Try something else," Mabel said.

"Okay. How…old are you?" The book flipped open to its first page and strange symbols began to appear. "It's those weird symbols again, like on the cover."

"Aw," his sister said. "Can't this thing write in English?" A big 'X' appeared on the page in response to her question.

"I guess that one means no," Dipper crossed his arms. "Maybe we should ask something different? Okay Enchiridion, what happened to Amy's old toaster?"

Mabel gave her brother an odd look as the book began to turn its pages.

He shrugged. "Amy mentioned something about it and I was curious," he explained.

The pages settled and the book began to show them something, sound, color, and all, like watching a small 3D movie.

Bill was in the living room, laying across the sofa with his arms crossed behind his head and legs crossed and propped up on the arm. Amy passed through the room and went into the kitchen. Suddenly, there was a shout, a sound like something breaking, and a strange snarling sound.

"Bill!" She ran back into the living room.

He looked at her. "What? What did you do?"

"ME?! What did YOU do?!"

"Today? Nothing, really."

"Why is my toaster eating the blender!?"

"Huh?" He looked mildly confused. "What kind of toasters do humans make nowadays?"

"Don't play dumb!" She pointed back towards the kitchen and they heard another crash. "It's only been two weeks, and weirder stuff than normal has been happening since you came here. That was a perfectly non-appliance-eating toaster this morning, so what did you do!?" 'Non-appliance-eating toaster' was a phrase Amy never thought she would say or even hear in her life…

He sat up. "I'm telling you; I didn't do it! At least…not on purpose." He shrugged. "I mean, I've been having these random spurts and surges of energy, but it's not my fault."

They heard the toaster snarl and break something else. Amy cringed. "Bill! Go get rid of that thing before it destroys all of my kitchen!" She stormed off towards the front door and snatched up her car keys. "I'm going buy a new toaster that doesn't eat the other appliances." She poked her head into the kitchen for a brief moment then said, "And apparently a new blender…" She left the house.

"Sheesh," Bill muttered as he got up, "a bit snappy today, aren't you…?"

He went into the kitchen and found the toaster scurrying across the countertop on four tiny black feet. The two slots on the top of it had turned into two mouths, both filled with needle-like teeth, and the cord was whipping around like a tail. It stopped to look at him and snarled as he approached, lashing the cord aggressively.

Bill laughed at it. "Haha! Look at you! You're kind of cute. Hey little bastard." He held a finger out to coax it over. "Come 'ere."

The toaster snarled loudly at him and threw itself from the counter in an attempt to run away. Unfortunately for it, Bill had expected as much and caught it. It thrashed angrily, causing him to tuck it under his arm and use his other hand to grab the cord before it could hit him in the face.

"Ha! Nice try, pal! Hm… I can't seem to use my magic right now… Ah well!" He carried the angry creature through the house, down the hall, and opened the basement door before tossing it in and slamming the door shut. He paused a moment as something else snarled from within the basement; it sounded like a bear… "Eh." Bill shrugged and walked back towards the front of the house.

The images faded away, leaving Dipper and Mabel staring down at a blank book again. "Huh," Dipper said. "She was serious about the toaster thing…"

"What else should we ask it?" Mabel smiled. "Oh! I know!"

…

It had been just over two weeks since they had arrived in Africa. So far, things were going as planned, aside from the fact that Amy had yet to encounter the person she had gone there to see. Of course, she already knew going into it that he would be a difficult person to find. Especially considering he could change his appearance… When she wasn't exploring or researching, she was staying at the hotel. At all times, she was accompanied by both Bud and Bill. Bill seemed to be enjoying himself the most out of them, though he was a tad bothered when Amy told him that he could no longer set the local wildlife upon tourists. She ended up having to specify that she meant all the people and not just the tourists.

One evening, Amy had decided to go have dinner at the bar next to the hotel. She had left Bud in the room and made her way out to the place. It was an outside location, but it had a very large covered area with a thatched roof. It consisted of the bar, a dance floor, and several tables and chairs located around the edge of the dance floor. The place was rather lively, with quite a number of people either sitting at the tables or dancing to the upbeat music playing overhead.

She took a seat at the bar and picked up one of the menus to look it over.

"Ah, here you are!"

Amy did not look up from the menu. She had not been surprised by his sudden appearance. She was used to that by now. "Hello, Bill."

He leaned his elbow on the countertop and quickly scanned over the menu she was holding. "Decided on something yet? The locals keep insisting on the fried fish."

"And for good reason!"

They both looked up at the bartender that had popped over to see them. He was a local. Dark-skinned with a thick accent and a friendly smile.

"I use only the freshest and finest fish! Only the ones I caught this morning."

Bill stood up straight and watched him carefully while Amy responded. "So, you cook the food here then?"

"I do everything here," he told her. "Cook, brew, serve, clean."

"Why don't you hire any helpers? This place is pretty busy, it seems."

He shrugged and poured something into a glass then slid the drink across the bar to a waiting customer. "I never have much trouble. Besides, why hire anyone else to do something I can do best?"

"All right then. Sure, I'll get the fish." She set the menu back where she had retrieved it.

"Excellent!" The bartender smiled brightly. "Care for a drink?"

"Just water, please."

He quickly filled her a glass of ice water before leaving. When he returned later, he placed a plate of fresh fried fish and grilled vegetables down in front of her and placed a lemon slice on the side. "Enjoy. I am absolutely sure that you will."

"Thank you."

Bill huffed a laugh. "You're real sure of yourself, eh pal?"

"Of course! But what I am most sure of is my alcohol. I have a lovely collection of branded drinks, but I also offer my own personal brews. Guaranteed better than anything you can buy in a store. And guaranteed stronger, too."

"That so?"

"You doubt my words. I can see it in your expression." He chuckled and reached below the bar for something. "Well, my friend, I can assure you that I will have the last laugh with this one." He produced a large bottle wrapped with a blue paper and placed it on the countertop. "This, my friend, is my most special brew. And my most potent. It would give Spirytus Rektyfikowany and Everclear a run for their money."

Bill eyed the bottle. The liquid inside was clear but there were very faint, tiny sparkles within it.

"What?" Amy eyed the bottle incredulously. "Two shots of those drinks straight can put an adult human in the emergency room. They're ninety-five percent alcohol. What in the world do you have that's stronger than that? One-hundred percent? No way. And no way that it's legal."

"Ah, but those two are okay if mixed with other things. Use them as a base or so. Yes? As for my pride and joy here…" He caressed the front of the bottle. "I cannot allow it to be sullied in such a way. Of course, that means I cannot offer it to customers."

"Then what do you do with it? Use it for cleaning?"

"Nonsense my beautiful flower!"

She winced a little at the term 'flower' but decided it was a coincidence.

"I drink it!"

"Are you insane?!"

"Perhaps." He grinned, looking a tad mischievous now. "Absolutely. It's certainly dangerous for humans. Deadly, even. … Care to try some?"

"No!"

He laughed. "That is probably for the best. Ah, you are a wise flower. Wise beyond your years."

"I'm not wise," she retorted, "I'm just not stupid."

"Indeed! But you are also wise." He looked to Bill again. "Perhaps Toxiká Astéria would be dangerous for you, but your friend here on the other hand…"

"You want me to drink that?" Bill laughed. "I'm more of a champagne or wine guy myself." He thought for a moment. "Blood suffices at times, too."

Amy sat up straight. This bartender…

"Oh, come now," the bartender said. "You won't be in any danger from it. Human alcohol does nothing to even get a buzz out of someone like you. But I guarantee that you won't make it through a quarter of this bottle without losing your senses. This drink is powerful enough to intoxicate even the Gods!"

Bill placed a hand on the counter and leaned forward with a wicked grin. "Well, I'm no God."

The man matched his grin. "Oh, believe me. I know." He smiled brightly and threw his arms out as he took a step back. "Do with it as you will, my friend! It is on the house! Consider it a gift from me to you."

Bill snatched the bottle up by its neck and opened it, wrinkling his nose at the smell.

Amy looked startled. "You're not actually going to drink that, are you?"

"Of course I am." He took a swig straight from the bottle and pulled a face that caused the bartender to laugh loudly. He grunted. "This stuff burns like Hellfire."

"More like star fire," the bartender said.

"I see…"

Amy sighed and shook her head as he took another drink from the bottle. She looked up at the bartender. "You. You're Dionysus, right?"

He smiled at her.

"What in the world are you doing in Africa?"

"Is that all you came here to ask?" He laughed. "I decided to take a vacation!"

"By working at a bar?" She briefly glanced at Bill as he walked away.

"Mortals are fun to play with," Dionysus replied. "Especially when they're drunk." He pointed over at Bill who had joined a group of strangers and was laughing jovially with them about something. "But I found a way to get immortals drunk faster. Ha! Look at him! What did I tell you? I should have made a bet…"

…

The Enchiridion stopped and turned a page. It seemed to have skipped forward a bit.

…

"So, that's it then?" Dionysus mused; his accent had changed. "Well, I suppose I can do that much. Ah, so much for my vacation." He shrugged. "Sounds fun, at least. Speaking of fun…"

"Hm?" Amy turned to see what he was looking at just as Bill appeared at her side and slammed his hands loudly on the countertop.

"Amy!" He said cheerily, grinning when she jumped from the loud sound.

"Bill! Don't do that!"

He leaned towards her. "Aw, don't be mad. Haha! You should relax more."

"I was perfectly fine until you nearly gave me a heart attack."

"Don't be silly! There are no heart attacks in your future. Not for you, at least! I mean, probably. Ya know, for most people, I can see parts of their future. Even their exact time and date of death. Even the cause! Ha!"

"That's great, Bill."

"Yeah! Except you though. Probably 'cause you're half –" He accidentally knocked something over and quickly bent to catch it before it hit the floor. "Whoops!" He laughed and placed the empty bottle on the counter.

Amy recognized it. "Did you drink all of that stuff?!"

"Yup! I feel great!"

"Do you?"

"Mostly!" He tried to stand up straight and stumbled backwards a few steps before catching himself and laughing again. "Wow. Feels like I'm on a boat. …Are we on a boat?"

"No."

Dionysus laughed too. "If you were, you would probably be able to walk straight."

They both laughed while Amy muttered, "You're both idiots…"

…

June 5th

Today was supposed to be an uneventful, lazy day, but I ended up coming across something pretty cool. While Mabel was giving the sheep makeovers, I went inside to check out this little fairy door. Still don't know how to open it. There isn't even a doorknob or handle or anything. There's a little latch on it but it doesn't budge.

Bud ended up leading me upstairs and into this big room full of all kinds of stuff. There were seashells, statuettes, pottery, instruments, books, photographs, drawings, raw gemstones, and even a full skeleton of a dinosaur. All kinds of stuff from all over! I think the dinosaur is called a Utahraptor. There was also a grand piano and a big rug with this picture on it…

Amy said that most of that stuff was collected by her father. Apparently, he was like some kind of adventurer or explorer? He might have gotten to be good friends with great uncle Ford if they had the chance to meet.

I want to go poke around in there some more later, but for now, the most interesting thing I found in there was this old book. The front cover has the same image as the rug, with some weird text along the top that even Ford has never seen before. Amy said that it reads "All Knowing". Although the book is pretty big, the inside is completely blank. Until you ask it a question, that is.

Amy called it the Enchiridion and said it was supposedly infused with dragon magic. Are dragons actually real? I mean, I can't doubt it, considering all the other, weirder stuff I've come across. Maybe they're extinct? Anyways, she told us that it knows everything and that it can show the present and the past, but that it will never show anyone the future. Even then, for some reasons, it doesn't always respond to every question. I tried to find a pattern in the types of questions it wouldn't respond to, but I can't figure it out. Maybe there are some things it thinks we're better off not knowing? Maybe it doesn't actually know everything?

When it does respond, though, it will flip through a random number of pages before settling on one. Then, it will either show text and images on the pages, or it will produce this 3D hologram-like image that moves and has sound and everything! It's like watching the past or present as a movie! It writes in that same weird text that's on the cover, so I can't actually read it. The only things I've worked out is that an X means no and a diagonal line from top right to bottom left means yes.

Oh, I guess I should mention that Amy does know that I have it. Actually, she let me hold onto it. I wonder how often she's used it? Bill didn't seem to like it when she said that Mabel and I can use it.

Mabel and I were playing around with it earlier and asking it all kinds of different questions. It responded to most, but there were a few it didn't want to answer. It wouldn't show us anything about Amy's parents. Like, at all. Which was kind of weird. Mabel asked it about Bill's parents. The book wrote something in that weird text then crossed it out with a big X before it all faded away, so not sure what that meant. I've suddenly realized how great this book could be for spying. It would be a disaster if it fell into the wrong hands. I'm sure Amy knows that, but she trusted us to hold onto it anyway. Better make sure Gideon never finds out about it…

Grunkle Stan wanted to see if he could use it to cheat at cards. We said no.

Mabel and I also asked it to show us something from when Amy and Bill were in Africa. I think she was expecting it to show us lions or something. Instead, it showed us Amy and Bill at this bar/hangout place by a hotel. The bartender was this really friendly, confident guy that seemed to know that Bill wasn't really a human. I don't think the bartender himself was. Amy called him Dionysus at some point. That's the name of the Greek god of grape harvest, wine, fertility, vegetation, orchards and fruit, festivity and theatre, ritual madness, religious ecstasy, and straight up madness. (I had to look all of that up…)

He and Amy seemed to know each other, so I went ask her about him. She said that that was the first time they met in person. I was going to look on the internet or something to learn more about the guy before I remembered how complex and confusing the Greek mythology is. So, I asked Amy instead for the truth.

She told me that most of the Greek gods are fictional and, therefore, most of their stories are fictional too. But apparently some of them are real. Or, at least based off of real things with similar names. Dionysus is one of those things.

The fictional Dionysus is the half-human son of Zeus and a human lady called Semele. He was raised as a girl to hide him from Hera's wrath. Apparently, he could take different forms, like a bull or a leopard. He was married to Ariadne and had nine children. Eventually, he was cursed with madness by Hera and forced to roam the land introducing people to the wonders of alcohol (wine). He became extremely violent and cruel with his punishments, but he was apparently kind to humans. Those who partake in his offer of alcohol end up possessed and empowered by him. Eventually, he was torn apart and eaten by the Titans. Wow.

The real Dionysus:

Amy said that some of that stuff is sort of true but also completely wrong. Apparently, the real Dionysus was not eaten by Titans. Or by anything, actually. However, he is half human, which is interesting. He's the son of someone Amy called Zae-us and a human peasant girl. I wonder if the name Zeus comes from Zae-us?

Anyways, apparently it was a one-night stand and Zae-us didn't want anything to do with her or their kid. Not wanting to be associated with them, Zae-us killed the lady and was going to kill the little Dionysus too before he was caught in the act by someone called Icarus. (Amy didn't really explain who these people were/are) Icarus threatened to expose Zae-us for what he had done if he killed Dionysus. I guess whoever this Icarus guy is, Zae-us couldn't just kill him too, so he left the kid alone. Icarus took Dionysus and brought him to his father, Ouroboros. But Dionysus is a (demi)god of life and fertility, so Ouroboros said that he could not stay with them. So, Ouroboros brought him to Gaia. (These names are all so familiar, but I just know that whoever these people are that Amy was talking about are definitely not the ones I know from stories)

Gaia (whoever that is) raised him as her own. He knew that she was not his real mom, but apparently, she had never told him the truth behind his birth or who his real parents were. No one was allowed to talk about it. Ever. But, one day, Dionysus met someone from another dimension. A powerful being that told him the truth. After learning the truth, Dionysus became angry with Gaia for not telling him and he ran away. He went find his father, Zae-us, and killed him… Amy said that the death of Zae-us caused the destruction of the world that he was from. Gaia was heart-broken, but Ouroboros was furious. He sent Icarus to judge Dionysus.

Amy told me that Icarus judges all the living, sapient things. Both mortals and immortals. If he ever goes to "judge" an immortal being, he's actually going to punish or even kill them for their actions. But despite what had happened, Icarus could not bring himself to kill Dionysus, because despite Dionysus' egocentric nature and his act of blind fury, he still held a kind-hearted compassion in himself for others. But Icarus had been commanded to punish him, so he cursed Dionysus with madness and sent him away to the human world.

According to Amy, the real Dionysus is a type of shapeshifter. He can take the appearance of any kind of creature, even a human. So, what does his real form look like? She doesn't know either. He can make plants grow in a matter of seconds, change his voice as well as his appearance, and consume a disturbing amount of alcohol without getting drunk. He's completely mad and has a huge ego, taking great joy in violent and bloody things. But his human half gives him a lot of empathy towards others, especially towards humans and their daily struggles and challenges. Unlike most immortal beings, Dionysus understands humans, and he has a soft spot for them. He even helps them out a lot without asking anything in return. Bill could learn a thing or two from him… Still, he can be dangerous and scary sometimes, what with the whole "cursed with madness" thing.

Bill heard us talking and said that Dionysus likes Amy a lot because she's also half human, like him. He also casually mentioned that he's the one who told Dionysus the truth about his birth all those years ago…

Speaking of Bill and Dionysus… From what I saw in the Enchiridion, I don't think Dionysus holds any ill will towards Bill. I just rhymed three times in one sentence… The two of them were pretty civil with each other. Actually, they were kind of friendly together. Dionysus gave Bill some kind of super strong alcoholic drink that got him drunk pretty fast. He still drank the whole bottle! Gotta admit, it was pretty funny watching Bill stumble around and dance with other random drunk people. He ended up making Amy dance with him. She looked embarrassed but also like she was trying not to laugh at him.

The Enchiridion skipped over the conversation that Amy had with Dionysus. Not sure why. I didn't bother to ask yet. It also stopped showing us all of that stuff after past Amy mentioned something about getting Bill back to the hotel so he would stop embarrassing her. Don't know what happened after that. I wonder if she had trouble getting him to cooperate after? Maybe she had to get Dionysus to help her drag him there. Ha! I mentioned it to Bill and he looked almost afraid for a moment until I told him where it stopped. I asked him what happened after and he replied, "Nothing, you nosy little –" and then Amy cut him off. He was totally going to call me a swear word… Jerk. He was probably too drunk to remember anyway.

Guess I'll go to bed. It's late and Mabel and I are going to the Shack tomorrow to hang out with Soos and Wendy. I can't wait to show them the Enchiridion. And tell them about drunk Bill.

To be continued…

Lol