"Minx. One kiss is for the first offence. The second offence means that I get to tongue you as often as I please."
The blond cocked her hips and raised an eyebrow.
"Of course, as a repeat offender, you will no doubt use the time between my kissing you, to continue your acts of Grand Theft Pudding." Harry poured the juice into the three goblets, passing one to Hermione, who had followed Luna onto the quilt.
"Full access to your pudding, to Lurch, and being manhandled by the man-meat that half the school is drooling over?" Luna melted into a sitting position across from Harry. "I can live with that. But if Greengrass…"
"As long as I have your permission to 'Harem'…" Potter snagged a piece of chicken, and stripped it to the bone, before he chucked towards the greenhouses. Lurch bolted out, running low, his wings slightly spread as aid in his running, and he snagged the bone from the air, as he swung wide and trotted back, cracking and crunching the bone in his teeth.
"Oh Look!" Malfoy drawled from the top of the steps. "The Freak and the Loony out walking their pet… and a feathered lizard."
Rubbing his thumb over his fingers Harry sighed. "As I was telling you earlier, Hermione…" Harry stood.
"The First Warning of the Coming Doom was The Crack!
Beware Fools, Wisemen and the Blind.
The First Sign is the Bitch Smack.
As the Lord repays Slights in Kind.
For now is the Slap-a-gadeon!"
Luna shook her head as if to clear it, then sneered as Harry brought his open palm down across Draco's left cheek.
HPDB
CrAck!
Draco Malfoy folded like a cheap linen sheet.
The trollish lads behind him just blinked.
"Mister Potter!" Snape stepped from the Doorway, "That was unnecessary."
"No Potion Master." the American male sighed. "That was very 'Necessa'. A member of the Ruling Class of Wizards is held to a higher standard. Malfoy claims to not only be of the Ruling Class, but the 'Prince of the Realm'. As an American, As a Champion, and As a Man, I can not allow his behaviour to go unchecked. If You will not or can not check him, then it falls to me to do so." Harry turned his head, and inhaled deeply. "I have just short of an hour before the Storm hits, and I would like to finish my lunch before it drives my companions inside."
"You are just like your Father." The greasy wizard sneered.
"Good looking? Full of Himself? A real Cock of His Walk?" Harry cocked his head to the side. "I never met the man. I would not know. But I do know this. I can back up my claims."
"Crabbe. Goyle. Take Malfoy to the Nurse." Snape turned away, disappearing into the castle.
Potter returned to the quilt, "Where was I… oh yes! I was about to Punish Lovegood for GTP!" He dropped to his knees beside her, and cupping the back of her head in his Left hand, claimed her mouth in a kiss.
After a count of three, Granger cleared her throat.
Potter released the blond, and shifted to sit cross-legged and grabbed two half egg salad sandwiches. One he tossed to Lurch, as he calmly ate the other.
"Mister Potter." the bossy brunette huffed, "What gives you the right to manhandle a witch like that?"
"Three things." Harry sipped the juice to clear his mouth, "Three, She unapologetically helps herself to 'my' pudding, knowing full well that I am going to punish her for it. Two, Even now she plans to help herself to my Pudding at our next meal." the blond nodded. "And One. She did not say 'No'."
Hermione blinked, before her kitty face retracted. "You claimed I was a Friend just before Malfoy showed up. You requested that I report any infraction and or Assault from Him or Weasley. Just what do you get out of this? What do I get?"
"Okay, I will be honest and Blunt." Harry waved a hand at the bowl of chicken, a breast jumped to his hand. "It gives me another chance to Bitch-slap the mouthy bastards." He ripped into the crispy skin with his teeth. "What do you want from this?"
"You said Lurch does tricks." Luna piped up, "Show us."
Harry pointed at the chicken bowl. "The Chicken bones. Treat him like a muggle dog of America."
Luna frowned, "You mentioned, 'Shake'."
Lurch perked up, before waddling over, and offered his right clawed foot. Luna smiled, and taking it in her right hand, shook it. "Good boy. Sit." The lizard settled like a hen on her nest. "Roll over." the feathered creature rolled to his left. "Play dead." Lurch stood, 'barked' and fell to the right, limp as a boned fish.
"Is that all?" Hermione nibbled a chicken leg.
"There is Guard, Fetch, Heel, Hunt, and Dig as well." Harry picked a scrap of white flesh from the bones in his hand. "There is also Bath, Nest, Cuddle, and Kill." Harry chucked the bones at the Greenhouses again and the lizard did not move. "Fetch!" the male barked, and the Lizard darted after the flying bones.
Hermione nodded, "He is well trained. What is that noise that I keep hearing?"
Luna frowned, "Noise?"
"A crackling purring sound." Hermione picked out a ham and cheddar sandwich.
"I think you are hearing me and Lurch talking. I have a bloodline trait known as Parseltongue. Its basic ability is to talk to snakes. The older bloodlines can talk to most reptiles, including Dragons, Lizards, and of course Snally Gnashers." Harry snagged another egg salad sandwich, "He only knows about 20 words in English, but in parsel we can fully converse. Granted, he has a three year old's vocab."
Suddenly Harry sniffed the Air. "Damn!" He started repacking the hamper. "The Storm is coming fast. We had best get inside." He whistled, and Lurch was at his knee. "Elf!"
A soft pop, "Yes mister beasty."
"I am keeping the hamper, but the Quilt needs to be beaten, folded and put away. Lunch was great. Can we get another round of pudding for the Table. Thank you." he slung the hamper over his shoulder, "Ladies. Can I entice you to join me at a table in the Hall?"
HPDB
They arrived at Luna's spot, just as the storm broke overhead.
As they sat, Luna frowned "Oh Dear…
The Second Warning of the Coming Doom was the Clap!
Beware Fools, Sages and Those Who Won't Listen
The Second sign is the Bytch Slap
As the Lords Muscles Glisen
For Now is the Slap-a-gedeon!
Luna blinked, before digging into a pudding before her.
"I heard what you did to Malfoy." Ronald Weasley sat beside Harry, and snagged a pudding.
Harry sneered, "That was Mine!"
"It's okay." Ron shovelled a bite into his gob. "We are all Friends here."
Harry elbowed the ginger menace off the bench, and stood. Drawing his hand back, he posed so that his muscles glistened as he waited for Rod to stand up.
"What was that for?" the redhead went red about the ears. "I was just being friendly."
"You touched my Pudding!" Harry roared to the rafters. "You sat beside me, uninvited. You helped yourself to my food, and you did so without asking." Harry grinned, "Seeing as your mother failed to teach you manners… I must." He brought his cupped hand across the redhead's face.
Ron was lifted off his feet and landed ten away.
"Mister Potter!" the Scottish Headmistress glided towards "Why are You striking my students?"
"Manners. Maketh. Man." Potter cracked his knuckles. "Miss Lovegood is allowed to take my pudding as she has agreed to pay my price. Mister Weasley sat at my side, snagged my pudding, and ate it. No invite, no introduction, and no manners. He did not even close his mouth to eat it." He smiled at the witch. "I may be barbaric, but one thing Mother beat into me was my Manners. I was called here, brought here, not invited. My being here is not by my choice, but I will concede that I am here for the duration. I will be treated by the standards of basic manners. Now…" Harry rolled his head. "I will not kill anyone unless they try to kill me first. I will not start anything, verbal or physical, but I will respond to any provocation." He bowed his head, "Right now, these are just 'love taps'. As long as nothing escalates, your students will only receive a hurt jaw and a bruised ego."
"And…" squeaked the half-goblin.
"I just pray that the rest of your students can learn from Malfoy and Weasley." Harry sighed. "Something tells me that those two are slow learners."
Luna and Hermione smothered giggles.
"Professor." a hefty male approached from behind the tartaned witch. "If anyone was at fault, it was Weasley. We have complained about his manners many times. He almost bit Dean in our first year… and you did nothing. Now Someone is willing to teach that arse Manners… and you will do nothing."
"Mister Longbottom…" the Headmistress began.
"What was it the Headmaster said when we complained… oh yeah. 'It will teach them to better themselves, and to protect themselves.'" He crossed his arms over his chest. "Preventing Potter from taking these actions would be in violation of the Headmaster's editic." He smiled, "Or do I write 'Me Gran' that we were forced to endure fours years of abuse by Dumbledor's pet and Snapes' Godson, but when an outsider returns their action to them, He is punished unfairly, and is prevented from leaving as he is a Defacto Prisoner within these walls?"
"Either instruct them properly." Potter spoke softly, "Or I will."
Two witches in green trim approached Luna, "May we join you, at this time?"
Luna waved to the seats across from her. "Tracy Davis. Daphne Greengrass. Are you after his pudding too?"
"No." the darker haired girl smiled. "But we were interested in paying for a pudding or two for you."
Granger snorted. "She is enjoying the payment plan almost as much as the pudding."
"We know." the dark haired witch giggled. "Why do you think we want in?"
McGonagall huffed, and returned to the Head table, stepping over the Ginger wizard on the floor.
As the Bell rang for class, Hermione stood, slung her bookbag, and lumbered out. A Black wizard played a round of 'paper, rock, scissors, with a classmate, and upon losing, drew his wand and levitated the Ginger out of the Hall.
Luna leaned up and kissed Potter, before looking at the two witches. "I am prime." She then skipped out of the Hall to class.
"I take that to mean I am allowed to Harem." Harry folded his hands. "First things first. Are we courting, wooing, or do we need to set something in ink?"
"What are your plans after this year?" The Blond was an emotionless doll. "Where are you doing your Schooling?"
"Wherever my Master is." Potter sighed. "I could take my Fifth year here… seeing as that is the basic level every ICW witch or Wizard is needed to be classed as such. Otherwise you classed as a 'Hedge', and the pay for those jobs suck."
"But you are Potter." the Dark haired witch hissed. "Soon to be Lord Potter of the Ancient and Most Nobel House of Potter."
"You know of my Lordship?"
"Please." the Blond sighed. "All Purebloods know the Prime Twenty-eight, and the Respected Five. We learn from our Mother's knee. Tracy Learned them all by Samhain our first year. While Potter is not of the Twenty-eight, but they were at the right hand of over twenty-three of the twenty-eight throughout our History. It reads as if House Potter was not of the Twenty-eight, because They chose not to be."
"Potters were also very cagy." Tracy smirked. "They did not flaunt their wealth like the Malfoys do, but whenever the Need for coin was there, House Potter was able to cover the bill." She pulled on her braid. "Between their long line and many acts of Heroism, it is whispered that only the Blacks are richer than the Potters. It is from the Blacks that the Malfoys hold their position as the third wealthiest House in England if not Europe."
Luna's Dreamy voice drifted down from the Rafters;
"The Third Warning of the Coming Doom was The Whomp!
Beware Idiots, Schmucks, and those who can not Hear.
The Third Sign is the Thump.
As the Lord's reach is far.
For now is the Slap-a-gadeon!"
"Oh Hell No!" Draco had returned to the Great Hall and seen Greengrass talking with Potter. "The Freak and Mudblood is one thing, but you will not Touch Greengrass! You will walk away now!"
"Miss Greengrass." Harry grinned, "Does That one speak for you?"
Daphne smirked. "No."
"Does He speak for your Father?"
"Never shall he have that privilege."
"Does He have any authority over you?"
"Only in his Dreams." Tracy snickered.
"Permission…" Potter began.
"Granted." Greengrass gave the air that she was bored. "ReEducate him."
Harry stood and dismounted the bench. Two of his long strides brought him to tower over the Blond ferret. "Mister Malfoy. I was having a lovely converse with two very fine females. When like a swarm of Locusts, You fell on us and destroyed the mood. You were not invited. You have no say in our lives. And you were not mentioned until you arrived. So tuck your scaly tail under your robes, and return to your hole."
"You Dare…"
The Strike came from Harry's left hip as he brought his right hand up and across. He used the full muscles of his chest, hips, shoulders, and arm. The Back of his open fist caught the pureblood under the jaw, both knocking him out(glassjaw) and lifting him into the air.
Malfoy hit the flagstones at the troll-twin's feet, completely out of it.
Looking at the brutes that stood two steps away, Harry asked a question. "Do we have a problem?" they mutely shook their heads 'no'. "Would you two do me the Minor favour of dragging him off to the Nurse?" They each grabbed a foot and walked out of the Hall… dragging their Boss behind them… face down.
"A piece of information you will most likely find funny." Tracy stood and slinked up to Potter, before running her fingers over his muscled chest. "Malfoy is a Pureblood. Purebloods often are obliviated after suffering an injury. The Practice is so that they do not have to remember the trauma of what caused the injury. What are the Odds that Weasley and Malfoy are going to have repeat 'Lessons'?"
"Ooh!" Harry cooed. "Slap-ageddon 3, Slaps-giving. The Slap that keeps on Giving!" He inspected his hands. "No-Majs in the Colonies have day spas where they go to do their hair and nails. Is there one nearby?"
"In Hogsmead." Daphne dug a quill and a scrap of parchment from her robes. "This weekend, I will book us a session for three."
"Make it for five." Harry smiled at her. "Luna and Granger will be joining us." Harry looked up and noticed his roommate Blaze. "Hey Zee! You want in on this?"
"Surrounded by pretty girls, getting my nails done… yeah, put my name down too, Greengrass."
Daphne scratched out a note as Harry turned to the Hall Doors. To the Surprise of the females gathered about him, a Snowy Owl winged in to perch on his wrist. His Fist did not move as she settled on his wrist.
Bark.
"Yes, Beautiful. I have a note that needs delivering. Daphne, if you would." Potter held the Owl before the blond.
As Daphne rolled the note into a scroll and using a ribbon from her pocket to tie it to the bird's leg, Blaze snickered, "I heard that Malfoy keeps getting slapped about."
Tracy giggled, "Not Just Malfoy, but Weasley too." Then she frowned at the bare chested wizard, "Better warn him about the Twins though."
"Why would you need…" Left hand twin.
"To Warn anybody…" Right hand twin.
"About us?" both.
"It might be the fact I just bitch-slapped your brother." Harry Flexed his hands.
HPDB
TBC