Beau couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"Have you lost your mind?"
"No." Alice's eyes were on the glossy pages of Vogue. "The party is still on."
The only thing more insane than throwing a party under these circumstances was eating whatever slop was on his lunch tray.
"There's no reason not to go through with it. I already sent the invitations out."
"But the vamp—"
"You already bought my present," Alice reminded him. "You don't have to do anything but show up."
Jessica Stanley was staring at their end of the table. Beau forced a smile. When he spoke again, the words came through his gritted teeth.
"With everything going right now, a party doesn't seem like a good idea."
"Graduation is what's going on right now. A party is such a good idea that it's almost passé."
"Alice, I'm being serious."
She finally looked up the magazine. "There are a few things we need to get in order now, and that's going to take time. While we're all sitting here waiting for the other shoe to drop, why not commemorate the good stuff? You're only going to graduate from school—for the first time—once. You don't get to be human again, Beau. This is a once-in-a-lifetime shot."
"What 'few things' are you talking about?"
Edward kept his voice low. "We could use some reinforcements. Tanya's family isn't the only option we have. Carlisle's trying to track down a few old friends. Same with Jasper. He's considering talking to Maria, but no one really wants to involve the southerners."
"Especially her."
Edward ignored his sister. "It shouldn't be too hard to convince the others to help out. No one wants a visit from Italy."
"These friends you're talking about . . . " Beau pushed the meatloaf around on his plate a few times before giving up entirely. "They're not vegetarians, I take it?"
"No."
"Yet you want them here. In Forks."
"They're friends. Everything's going to be fine. Don't worry. And soon Jasper will be teaching us on how to eliminate the newborns."
Edward's eyes brightened at her words. If Beau wasn't already nauseous by his radioactive lunch, he was now.
"When are you going?"
"A week. That ought to give us enough time."
"Can you throw this away?" Beau asked, not trusting his legs at the moment.
Alice took the tray to the trash barrel at human speed. When she returned, her eyes were on Beau's face.
"You look green."
"It's going to be fine, Beau," Edward told him earnestly. "Trust me."
How in the hell was Beau supposed to do that? Edward was the designated hitter. Beau was just a lowly benchwarmer, waiting for his turn to step up to the plate.
And then it occurred to him: maybe it was his turn.
A week was plenty of time.
"You're looking for help?"
"Yes . . . ?" Alice frowned, trying to see what he was up to.
"What about me?"
"That wouldn't be all that helpful."
"Why not?" Beau demanded. "Eight is better than seven."
Alice, Jasper's trusty lieutenant, became stern.
"It's not enough time to make you helpful, Beau. You won't be able to control your instincts, and that makes you an easy target. Edward would get hurt trying to protect you."
Beau couldn't argue with that.
Edward was kinder about it. "It won't be because you're afraid, remember?"
"I guess."
"Oh," Alice said, a blank look crossing her face. "I hate last-minute cancellations. This brings down the party to sixty-five people . . . "
"So much for that gift of yours being out of whack. Do we even know sixty-five people?"
"Who canceled?" Edward asked.
"Renée."
"Why?"
"She was going to surprise you at graduation, but something went wrong. You'll find out when you get home later."
Beau listened to the voicemail as soon as he got home. Phil had broken his femur at practice while demonstrating a slide into home base, which meant Renée had to help him with almost everything. Simply put, there was no way she could leave him alone.
"Well, that's one."
"One what?"
"One person I don't have to worry about getting killed this week."
Renée was devastated when Beau got her on the phone. His mother talked so much that he barely got a word in. Beau reassured her he wasn't disappointed or angry that she could not attend the ceremony. In fact, it was hard to conceal his glee. Washington was descending into vampiric chaos. All things considered, Beau preferred her to remain in Florida.
She did give him a talking-to about learning of his acceptance to Dartmouth from Charlie. Beau accepted the scolding and promised to tell her about every acceptance letter from now on, in addition to all the boring details from his graduation day. Finally, when she'd worn herself out, Renée had said goodbye.
"Jeez, no wonder they got divorced," Beau groaned.
He'd hopped onto the kitchen counter while on the phone with his mother. Beau leaned back against the cabinets now, shaking his head ruefully.
"She talks a lot and he doesn't talk at all. Total opposites."
Edward walked over to the counter where he sat, pushing Beau's knees apart so he could stand between them. Beau was instantly at attention, in more ways than one.
"Is that your hang up on marriage? The possibility of divorce?"
"Two out of three marriages end that way."
Edward smoothed his hands up Beau's thighs. "I think you'll find the vampire-human divorce rate is a little lower than the average."
"Do you have the data to back that up?" Beau breathed.
Edward, who seemed to enjoy tormenting Beau, finally leaned in to kiss him.
Beau felt like he was floating. He forgot all about his parents, the approaching horde of newborn vampires, even the ridiculous party Alice was throwing in spite of the proverbial sword hanging over their heads.
None of that mattered when Beau and Edward were like this.
Edward pulled away as usual, but he stayed close enough for his scent to hang over Beau. The latter felt like his head was spinning.
"I know you think that I have some kind of perfect, unyielding self-control, but that's actually not the case."
"I understand."
Edward's eyes flickered to Beau's jeans. "Why don't you meet me in the living room?"
"Sure."
Beau spent the next few minutes in the kitchen alone, thinking about every looming threat on the horizon. Nothing killed a boner like the thought of Victoria ripping his head off.
He found Edward had spread all of their papers and textbooks across the coffee table. Beau sat down beside him, sighing.
"We both know I'm the only one who actually needs to study."
"I'm here for moral support," Edward explained. "Tomorrow, though, I'm going hunting with Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie. Just for a few hours—we're staying close. Alice, Jasper, and Emmett will keep you safe until I return."
Tomorrow was the first day of finals. It was only a half-day; that was something, at least.
"I hate being babysat."
"It's temporary," Edward promised.
"Jasper will be bored. Emmett will make fun of me."
"They will be on their best behavior. I'll make sure of it."
Another option drifted through Beau's mind. "You know . . . I haven't been to La Push since the bonfire."
Edward's eyes tightened infinitesimally.
"I'll be safe there," Beau reminded him.
"You're probably right."
"Are you thirsty already?" His irises were still a deep gold.
"Not really."
Perhaps anticipating Beau's line of questioning, he continued, "We want to be as strong as possible. We'll probably hunt again on the way, looking for big game."
"And that makes you stronger?"
"Yes. Human blood makes us the strongest, though only fractionally. Jasper's been thinking about cheating—adverse as he is to the idea, he's nothing if not practical—but he doesn't dare suggest it. He knows what Carlisle will say about that."
"Would that . . . help?"
"It doesn't matter. We aren't going to change who we are."
If something helped the odds . . . and then he shuddered. Was he willing to let a stranger die to protect Edward?
"That's why they're so strong, of course. The newborns are full of human blood—their own blood, reacting to the change. It lingers in their tissues and makes them stronger. Their bodies use it up slowly, but the strength they have from it starts to wane after about a year."
"How strong will I be?"
Edward grinned. "Stronger than I am."
"Stronger than Emmett?"
"Oh, yes. Do me a favor and challenge him to an arm-wrestling match. It would be a good experience for him."
"I will have to remember that."
They turned to their textbooks and set to work. Edward was an excellent tutor—having lived through the entire twentieth century, he had an answer to just about every question that would be on the test.
Beau hoped he could focus on the final. If he didn't watch himself, he might end up writing about the vampire wars of the South.
He took a break from studying to call Jacob. Though it was the middle of the afternoon, the ringing woke him up, and he was grouchy at first. He cheered right up when Beau asked if he could visit the following day. The tribal school was already out for the summer, so he told Beau to drop by any time.
Beau was pleased. There was a tiny bit more dignity in spending the day with Jacob.
"How do you feel you did on your exams?"
Beau watched the trees fly by. "History was easy. I don't know about Calculus. It seemed like it was making sense, so that probably means I failed."
"I'm sure you did fine."
The Volvo turned the last bend. Jacob was waiting by the Rabbit as usual. At the sight of him, Edward sighed.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Please tell me you're not listening to his thoughts."
"It's not easy to ignore someone when he's shouting."
"Oh. What's he shouting about?"
He was surprised to see Edward hesitate. "I'm certain he'll mention it himself."
Beau would have pressed the issue, but Jacob honked the horn twice, scattering his train of thought.
"That's impolite."
"That's Jacob."
Beau waved to Edward before climbing into the Rabbit. He tried not to read too much into Edward's expression. Something about it filled him with unease.
He wished the three of them could do something together. Maybe they could catch a movie, or go for a hike. Both of them liked the outdoors. If his supernatural companions kept a slow pace, Beau might like the hike, too.
He wished the three could be friends. Instead of human, vampire, and werewolf, they would all just be guys.
"Hey, Beau."
"Hey, Jake."
Beau examined Jacob as they drove. He looked different today—sick, even.
"Are you all right?"
"Just tired," Jacob managed to say before a yawn took over. "What do you want to do?"
"Let's hang out at your place. Maybe we can ride our bikes later on."
Jacob yawned again. "Sure, sure."
The house was empty when they arrived.
"Where's your dad?"
"He went to the Clearwaters'. He's been hanging out there a lot since Harry died. Sue gets lonely."
The boys sat down on the couch. "That's nice of him. Poor Sue."
"Yeah, she's having some trouble with Seth and Leah."
"That's got to be hard on them, losing Harry like that."
"Yeah," Jacob repeated, yawning.
Beau watched Jacob flip through the channels. His eyes were glassy, like he wasn't really seeing what was in front of him.
"What's with you, Jake? You're a zombie today."
"I haven't been sleeping much. Sam's making me run double shifts. He doesn't trust your bloodsuckers."
"Double shifts? Is this because you're watching my house? Jake, you need to sleep. I'll be fine."
"It's no big deal." His eyes flickered to Beau's. "Hey, did you ever find out who was in your room? Is there anything new?"
"Um . . . no. Not really."
"Then I'll be around."
"Jake—"
"Come on, I offered eternal servitude, remember? That was the deal."
"I don't want that," Beau snapped. "I want my friend to be okay, not half-dead."
"Look at it this way: I'm helping track down a vampire I'm allowed to kill, okay?"
Beau glared at the television. Some stupid advertisement was on. The jingle would be stuck in his head for days.
"I'm kidding, Beau."
Beau folded his arms and said nothing. He was trying to memorize the jingle instead of talking.
"So, any special plans next week? You're graduating. That's big."
His face, already drawn, looked downright haggard now. Beau realized graduation still had a horrible significance for him.
"No special plans . . . well, that's not true. I have to go to a graduation party. Mine. Alice loves parties and she's invited the entire senior class. It's going to be horrible."
"I didn't get an invitation. I'm hurt."
"Consider yourself invited. It's supposedly my party, so I should be able to ask who I want."
Jacob's eyes closed again. "Oh, thanks."
"I wish you could come," Beau told him. "It would be more fun. For me, I mean."
"Sure, sure. That would be very . . . wise . . . " A few seconds later, he was snoring.
Poor Jacob. Beau studied his dreaming face. When Jacob slept, every trace of defensiveness and bitterness disappeared. He looked like the boy who had been Beau's closest friend before all of the werewolf nonsense got in the way.
He looked like his Jacob.
Beau settled on a cooking show. He felt strangely relaxed. This house was probably safer than his own—no vampires would know to look for him here.
He let his mind wander. Finals were done. Most of them had been easy, with one exception. His high school education was over.
Beau didn't know how to feel about that. The end of school was closely tied with the end of his human life. It was a lot to digest.
If he was being practical, he knew it made more sense to ask Carlisle to change him the second he had that diploma in his hand. Forks was a war zone. Plus, a vampire bite would get him out of the graduation party, if he really got desperate.
But Edward was right—he wasn't quite ready yet.
Beau didn't want to be practical. He wanted Edward to be the one to do it.
It wasn't a rational desire. Beau was sure he wouldn't care who carried it out, in the end. The transformation would hurt the same and have the same result.
It was hard to define, even to himself, why this mattered so much. There was just something about Edward being the one to open that door for him.
Beau would never say so out loud, but he wanted his venom to be the one that did it. It would make Beau belong to Edward in a tangible, quantifiable way. Yet he knew Edward was going to stick to the marriage scheme like glue. It had forced Beau's hand and caused a delay, something he was noticeably enjoying.
Beau tried to imagine telling his parents he was getting married this summer. Telling Angela and Ben and Mike. What could he say? It would be easier to tell them he was becoming a vampire.
Jacob woke up a few minutes later. He rubbed his eyes, clearly trying to get his bearings.
"Hey, sleepy."
"Oh, man! Did I fall asleep? How long was I out?"
"A few Emerils. I lost count."
"I'm sorry about that, really."
"Don't worry about it. I'm glad you got some sleep."
Jacob yawned again. "I'm useless these days. No wonder Billy's always gone. I'm so boring."
"You're fine."
"Let's go outside. I need to walk around or I'll pass out again."
Beau got to his feet. "Jake, it's okay. I'll have Edward pick me up. Can I use your phone?"
Jacob grabbed his hand. "No! Please stay. You hardly ever make it down. I can't believe I wasted all this time."
Beau hurried outside with Jacob. He didn't have much of a choice; Jacob was towing him so hard that he almost couldn't stand up straight.
The air had gotten warmer while Jacob slept, unseasonably so. It felt like the height of summer already. They ended up in the garage, sitting in the truck bed.
Beau wished they'd brought sodas, so he had something to do with his hands.
"I'm such an idiot."
"For falling asleep? Who cares? You needed it."
"I wanted to talk to you. I can't believe this."
Beau was perplexed. "Talk to me now."
But his friend didn't say a word. Jacob was acting weird. Fidgety.
Beau thought back to what Edward said on the drive over. Jacob had been shouting something in his head, something Edward was reluctant to share.
Sweat began pooling on the back of his neck.
"Look, I was planning to do this differently. Smoother. I was going to work up to it, but I'm out of time."
"Jake, I don't have any idea what you're talking about."
Jacob took a deep breath. "I want to tell you something. And you already know it . . . but I think I should say it out loud anyway. Just so there's never any confusion on the subject."
Beau had a bad feeling about this. He folded both arms against his chest as if to shield himself from the fallout.
"I'm in love with you, Beau," Jacob said in a strong, sure voice. "I love you. And I want you to pick me instead of him. I know you don't feel that way, but I need the truth out there so that you know your options. I wouldn't want a miscommunication to stand in our way."
Beau stared at him for a full minute. He didn't know what to say.
Jacob took in his dumbfounded expression with a smile. Beau could give him that much—Jacob always found the bright side of things, even a romantic rejection.
"Okay, that's all."
"Jake—" Beau cleared his throat. "I can't—I mean, I don't . . . I have to go."
But he couldn't move. He sat in the truck bed with his feet planted on the floor. It felt like they had been nailed there.
"Beau, I know you don't feel that way about me. But answer me this, all right? Do you want me to go away and never see you again? Be honest."
"No," Beau admitted. "No, I don't want that."
"See?"
"No, I don't see. I don't want you around for the same reason you want me around."
"Tell me exactly why you want me around, then."
Beau thought about it for a moment.
"I miss you when you're not there. When you're happy, it makes me happy. But I would say the same about Charlie. You're family. I love you, but I'm not in love with you."
Jacob nodded. "But you do want me around."
"Yes."
"Then I'll stick around."
"You're a glutton for punishment."
"Yep." He took Beau's hand.
"Let go, Jake."
"All right."
Beau took a deep breath. "Maybe we shouldn't do that anymore."
"Why not?"
"Because it means something different to you."
Beau looked Jacob in the eyes, trying to make sure he was understood.
"I love him, Jake. He's my whole life."
"You love me, too," Jacob reminded him. "Not in the same way, I know. But he's not your whole life, either. Not anymore. Maybe he was, once, but he left. And now he's going to have to deal with the consequences of that choice—me."
"You're impossible."
Jacob became very serious. He leaned across the truck bed until they were almost nose-to-nose.
"Until your heart stops beating, Beau. I'll be here, fighting. Don't forget that you have options."
Beau wanted to lean away, but he felt like a statue. As if he were a vampire already.
"I don't want options. My heartbeats are numbered, Jacob. The time is almost gone."
"All the more reason for me to fight—fight harder now, while I still can."
Something unfurled in his mind: a memory.
Beau watched it happen again, a voyeur of his own recollections.
Beau was back in one of their many hotel rooms on the road. Jacob had had too much to drink at the honky-tonk bar; he was upset and missing his friends back home in La Push. Following Jacob's example over the past few months, Beau had comforted him.
But as the seconds wore on, a line had been crossed.
This nebulous thing between them had been building for a while, whether the boys wanted to acknowledge it or not.
Beau and Jacob kissed for the first time that night.
Beau still didn't know who initiated it, even now. Maybe it was better that way.
Maybe it was the warmth of that memory.
Maybe something Jacob said had gotten through to him.
But before he knew what was happening, Beau felt himself leaning toward Jacob.
Then he lurched back at the last second as if electrocuted.
What was he doing?
What did this mean?
"Beau—"
"Shut up," Beau snarled.
"It's okay. Don't freak out."
Beau wasn't freaked out.
Beau was enraged.
He felt like a newborn already: dangerous and unpredictable and out of control.
He just wanted everything to stop.
Beau pulled his arm back and drove it into the paneling of the truck bed with as much force as he could muster. Then there was a crunching sound.
"Ow! Ow!"
Pain rocketed across the bones and tendons of his hand. It was broken, he could feel it.
Jacob was stunned. "Are you all right?"
"No, you idiot! My hand is broken!"
"Let me see it."
Beau jerked away from him. "Don't touch me. I have to . . . I have to get out of here."
He glanced toward the cab of Big Red. The truck itself was still hoisted up on the cinder blocks. Even if he could reverse it off the blocks (and hopefully directly into Jacob), he couldn't drive with his hand in this condition.
"I'll go get my car."
"No thanks," Beau growled. "I'll walk."
Beau clutched the injured hand to his chest, deliberating.
It was only a few miles to the border. As soon as there was enough distance between Beau and Jacob, he would reappear in Alice's sight. He knew she would send someone to pick him up.
In the end, Jacob didn't really give him the choice. Beau found himself being steered into the passenger seat of the Rabbit like an invalid. He turned his face away while Jacob buckled the seat belt, waiting for him to stop.
"How's the hand?"
"I just told you it's broken."
"Maybe I should take you to the hospital."
"No, take me home. If you take me to the hospital, I'm jumping out at a red light."
The Rabbit slowed to a crawl. Jacob turned to stare at Beau with earnest eyes.
"Just think of how it could be with us, Beau. You wouldn't have to change anything for me. You know Charlie would be happy if you picked me. And you could stay here."
"I'm not staying here. I'm going to Dartmouth with Edward."
Jacob ignored him. "I could protect you just as well as your vampire can. Maybe better. And I would make you happy, Beau. There's so much I could give you that he can't. I bet he can't even kiss you the way you deserve to be kissed, because he would hurt you. I would never, ever hurt you, Beau."
"What do you think you're doing right now?" Beau asked.
"You were happy," Jacob insisted. "When we were on the run. You were happy with me."
"I don't want that, Jake. I don't want to be happy with anyone but him."
"You'll never be as sure of him as you are of me. He left you once. He can do it again."
"No, he will not," Beau hissed.
Jacob began driving at a normal speed again. "Just think about it, okay?"
"No thanks."
"I know it's probably second nature to you now, but can you quit lying?"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"We almost kissed, then you punched something. You got emotional. I can tell. Maybe you've forgotten, but we've kissed a couple of times."
There was no point in arguing with him; he would twist everything Beau said.
Beau concentrated on his hand. He stretched his fingers, trying to work out where the ache was the strongest. He groaned.
"I'm really sorry about your hand."
"Whatever."
Beau didn't realize where they were going until Charlie's house came into view.
"Why are you taking me here?"
"You wanted to go home."
He was right, but Beau wouldn't admit to that. "Ugh. I guess you can't take me to Edward's house, can you? Cause of the stupid treaty?"
Pain twisted across Jacob's face. It was obvious these words affected him more than anything else Beau had said today.
"This is your home, Beau."
"Yes, but do any doctors live here?"
"I said I would take you to the hospital."
Beau climbed out and slammed the door. "Just go home, Jacob."
Jacob let the Rabbit idle behind the cruiser, but he didn't follow him, which was a good thing.
Beau fumbled with his house key until he managed to get the door open. Then he locked it. It may not have stopped Jacob if Beau was home alone, but with Charlie there, he would have to at least pretend to be human.
"Hey, kid."
"Hi."
Beau went to the freezer in search of the ice cube trays. It was more difficult to do one-handed than he thought.
Charlie must have heard the Rabbit's engine in the driveway. When the chief came into the kitchen, he was puzzled.
"Why is Jacob still outside? And what's wrong with your hand?"
"I don't know. I think my hand is broken."
Charlie watched him struggle for a moment before taking over. He grabbed a fistful of ice, deftly wrapped the cubes in a dish towel, then applied the compress to Beau's hand.
"What happened?"
"I was helping Jacob with repairs in the garage and hit it on something. It's stupid."
Charlie was frowning. "Why didn't you go to the hospital?"
"If we go to Forks Community, we'll be sitting there all night," Beau said impatiently. "I'll have Carlisle take care of it."
"Do you want me to come with you?"
"No, I'll have Edward pick me up." Beau avoided his father's eyes. "Besides, Alice might enlist you in the party preparations."
"Have Dr. Cullen call me after he takes a look, I want a status report. Keep this ice on it in the meantime."
His father had muted the TV before coming into the kitchen. Beau waited until he heard the volume of SportsCenter reach an acceptable level.
Beau dialed Edward's cell phone.
"Beau?"
The tick-tick-tick of the turn signal was audible in the background. Good. That meant Edward was already in the car.
"You left the phone . . . I'm sorry, did Jacob drive you home?"
"Yeah, but will you come and get me, please?"
"I'm on my way," Edward said at once. "What's wrong?"
"I want Carlisle to look at my hand. I think it's broken."
"What happened?"
"I punched something."
Edward sounded confused. "What did you punch?"
"The truck bed. I was angry."
"What were you angry about?"
Beau took a deep breath. "Remember what he was shouting?"
There was a pause on the other end of the line. Beau chewed his lip, worrying for the first time how Edward was going to react once he understood the situation.
Dread crept up Beau's spine at the thought.
"I'm around the corner," Edward said at last.
He wasn't kidding. The Volvo announced its arrival to the entire neighborhood just moments later. The Swans reached the front door at the same time.
Charlie managed to unlock the door and get outside ahead of him. Beau followed at his heels, taking care not to stumble and risk further injury.
Jacob was leaning against the Rabbit with his arms folded. Edward was already marching toward him, faster than an acceptable human speed.
"Are we going to have a problem here, boys?"
The streetlights had caught the fury in Edward's eyes and given them an unearthly glow.
Jacob had his hands in his pockets. Though he had a casual air about him, Beau recognized the tense set of his shoulders.
By the time Beau caught up, Charlie was between the other two, his head moving on a swivel.
Beau didn't envy his position. Though he didn't know it, Charlie was standing between two loaded guns.
"I don't want any fighting. I can go put my badge on if that makes my request more official."
"That won't be necessary," Edward said coolly.
"Yeah. We're fine, Charlie."
The chief stepped away so he could glare at all three of them in turn. "I've been told this was an accident. In other words, everyone's going to take it easy. Right?"
Beau was staring at his shoes. "Right."
"Yes, sir."
"Uh-huh."
Charlie still looked suspicious. He gave each of them a final, disapproving look before turning back for the house. But the twitch of the drapes in the front window told them they were being watched.
Edward finally spoke in a voice that sounded gentle, but promised violence.
"I'm not going to kill you now, because it would upset Beau."
"I don't know about that."
Edward smiled. "It would bother you in the morning."
Beau wasn't so sure.
Edward turned back to Jacob. "But from now on, if you ever pull something like that again, you'll be running patrol on three legs. Do you understand me?"
"Yeah? And what if he wants me to?"
Edward held out one arm to keep Beau at bay. "If that's what he wants, I won't object. You may want to wait for him to say it next time, though."
Jacob grinned.
"One more thing: I'll be fighting for him, too. I'm not taking anything for granted, and I'll be fighting twice as hard as you will."
"Oh, good. It's not fun beating someone who forfeits."
"He is mine," Edward told him. "I'm not going to fight fair."
"Me neither."
"Best of luck."
Beau started walking toward the Volvo. The dread he felt from earlier had wormed its way into the pit of his stomach.
Edward and Jacob didn't need his help to hate each other, but this time, he felt completely responsible for it.
"How do you feel?" Edward asked as they drove away.
"Irritated."
He chuckled. "I meant your hand."
"I've had worse."
"True."
Edward drove around the house to the garage. Emmett and Rosalie were inside, working on the Jeep.
Emmett watched them climb out of the Volvo. His eyes zeroed in on the hand Beau cradled to his chest.
"What's up, Beau?"
"Let's call it another tantrum."
The windows of the garage rattled with his laughter. Rosalie spoke from under the Jeep.
"Jasper's going to win the bet."
Her husband stopped laughing and studied Beau with appraising eyes.
"What bet?" Beau demanded.
"Let's get you to Carlisle."
"What bet?"
"Thanks a lot, Rosalie," Edward muttered, guiding Beau toward the house.
"Tell me."
"It's infantile. Emmett and Jasper like to gamble."
"Emmett will tell me." Beau tried to turn, but Edward's arm was like iron around his shoulders.
"They're betting on how many times you . . . slip up in the first year. Rosalie thinks your temper will turn the odds in Jasper's favor."
"Oh."
The bet was on how many people he would kill after being made a vampire.
Beau felt his stomach twist again. "Jasper's betting high, then."
"It will make him feel better if you have a hard time adjusting. He's tired of being the weakest link."
His newfound appreciation for the quietest Cullen began to dim.
"Sure, of course it will. I guess I can throw in a few extra homicides, if that will make him happy. Why not?"
Edward gave one shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "You don't need to worry about it now. In fact, you don't need to worry about it ever, if you don't want to."
Beau didn't argue. He had already hurt Edward enough for one day.
His hand was broken, but not seriously. Beau didn't want to wear a cast, so Carlisle allowed him to leave with a brace, with the promise that he would be careful and allow it to heal properly. Beau didn't have a choice; Edward and Charlie would fuss over him if he didn't follow the doctor's orders exactly.
Beau's mind wandered as Carlisle fitted the brace.
He went over every minute of the afternoon in his head, trying to suss out what went wrong.
Hadn't he been clear?
Hadn't Beau told Jacob he loved him, but he wasn't in love with him?
Why did Jacob keep pushing? Why did he have to confuse him like that?
Beau had tried to be patient, but Jacob wouldn't listen. Standing firm didn't help, either—Jacob liked to push boundaries.
Punching the truck was stupid, but he had been angry. Angry enough to hurt. He was glad it was his own hand and not Jacob, at least. Though a punch delivered by a human probably did nothing to a werewolf.
Jasper's odds were looking pretty good. Beau had a hard enough time controlling his emotions as a human.
Beau would be the worst Cullen yet: wild. Bloodthirsty. Unable to stop himself from killing people. Strangers, people who had never harmed him. Innocent people.
Beau knew he could trust Edward to do the right thing. He would drag him to Antarctica and hunt penguins if Beau asked.
Would that still be the case, if he knew the truth about what happened in La Push?
Beau was quiet all the way home. The hole that opened in his chest when Edward left had long since healed. But as the minutes passed by in silence, the scar tissue grew tender to the touch.
"Beau, talk to me."
He blinked back tears. "I can't."
"You can tell me anything."
Edward's eyes were full of understanding. It just made Beau feel worse.
Beau felt he had no choice but to confess, if there was any hope of forgiveness.
"Jacob and I, well . . . he tried to kiss me and I almost . . . gave in."
Edward's tone was kind. "I got a fairly comprehensive look."
"I don't know how it happened, it just . . . did. I'm so sorry."
"Why are you sorry?"
It wasn't rhetorical: Edward was really asking him that.
"What do you mean?"
"You don't need to apologize, Beau. Jacob manipulated you. He played with your emotions. I know I said I wasn't going to fight fair . . . but he started it."
"Edward, that's—"
"Jacob's more cunning than I gave him credit for. I should have warned you that he was planning to do something. You might have avoided hurting your hand."
Was that how it happened?
This conversation wasn't going at all how he thought it would.
"You're not angry with me?"
"You're human," Edward said softly. "It happens."
"Much as I'd rather not be," Beau mumbled.
"That's the Beau I know and love."
Edward was at the passenger door in a flash.
Beau took his helping hand and sighed. Suddenly, he was exhausted. Was it really just this morning that he took his exams?
"Are you all right? Is it your hand?"
"I'll be okay. There's some Tylenol in the medicine cabinet."
Edward took Beau's face in his hands when they kissed. "I'll be back when Charlie's asleep."
Beau watched until the silver car disappeared around the corner. Pain, not just from his hand, lingered.
His old insecurities were making themselves known. This afternoon's episode seemed to confirm them—that he was no good for Edward, after all.
Charlie was on the phone when Beau reached the kitchen. "Yeah, he just walked in. Uh-huh. I see the brace now—looks good. Thanks again. Bye."
Beau sank into one of the chairs at the kitchen table. Almost as if waiting for this signal, Charlie went to the fridge. He returned with a soda for Beau and a beer for himself.
Beau wanted to swap their cans around. Anything to dispel the gloom settling into his heart.
"What happened to your hand, Beau?"
Charlie hadn't opened the beer yet. He was sitting across the table with his arms folded.
His father was in Tough Cop mode. A dangling lightbulb and a two-way mirror were all that he needed to make this the perfect interrogation room.
"I told you, it was an accident."
"No, you lied to me. I want the truth, Beau, or I'm sentencing you to a new grounding."
Beau almost welcomed a fresh bout of incarceration. Solitary confinement was an acceptable punishment for his actions.
He thought it was best to go for broke. Someone deserved his honesty today, and in lieu of Edward, Charlie would do just fine.
"Jacob, like, poured his heart out to me this afternoon. I knew he had feelings, but he said we could be friends. And then today, he said he was in love with me. He wants me to pick him instead of Edward."
Charlie didn't speak for a few moments. It looked like he was trying to find the right words. In true Charlie fashion, less was more.
"So you . . . punched him?"
"I didn't punch him, I punched the truck bed."
"Because you were angry?" Charlie asked.
"He tried to kiss me, so yeah, I was angry."
"Were you angry that he tried, or angry for another reason?"
Beau shifted in his seat, uncomfortable with the direction of the questioning. Yet once Beau started talking, he found it hard to stop.
"That's the thing: I don't know. I'm angry at him for confusing me, I guess. Angry that he went back on his word. Angry that he can't understand I'm in love with Edward."
"This love thing isn't easy," Charlie reminded him. "You and Jake spend a lot of time together. Hell, you took a joyride across the country. That's bound to blur some lines."
Beau was staring at the table now. "It feels like every step I take hurts someone."
"I know the feeling."
The hiss of the beer being opened made him look up. Charlie took a gulp from the can and set it back down on the table.
"Yeah?"
Now it was Charlie's turn to look uncomfortable. "I shouldn't have said anything. Forget it."
"What, I have to cough it up, but you don't?"
"At least open your soda, so I can pretend we're commiserating at a bar or something."
Beau obediently pulled at the tab of the can and took a sip. Charlie sighed.
"There's a woman that I like, but she's not . . . available. Romantically. We've been friends for a long time, but she was married, so nothing ever came of it. Now she's not."
"So . . . " Beau paused. "Why don't you tell her how you feel?"
Charlie sighed again. "Well, firstly, it's Sue Clearwater. Her husband—one of my closest friends, mind you—is barely in his grave, and I'm already thinking about his wife."
"Wow. You and Sue Clearwater."
"Me and Sue Clearwater nothing, kid. We buried Harry a few months ago. It's not right. She needs me as a friend right now."
Beau was thoughtful. "Maybe she'll come to you. When she's . . . available."
"Maybe. Though I think someone else likes her, too."
"Who?"
"Billy."
"Ah. I see."
It was a real pickle. Billy, Charlie, Harry, and Sue had been close for years. Charlie was loyal, perhaps to a fault. He would never get between Billy and Sue, even if he really liked her.
Charlie was gazing down at his beer. "She's probably better off with him."
"What makes you say that?"
"Billy and Sue grew up on the reservation. They have the same culture, the same traditions. She and I are just too . . . different. It would never work."
He sounded lonely.
Beau felt a wave of guilt wash over him. Here he was, planning his exit, leaving Charlie alone in this house again.
Beau was determined to change that.
"I don't think so, Dad. I say you should go for it."
"Not right now. Sue needs time. She may want to be single forever. She really loved Harry."
Beau watched his father take both cans to the sink and rinse them out. When he returned to the table, there was a worried expression on his face.
"Listen, Beau . . . I know you can handle this on your own. I don't want to interfere, but as a longtime bachelor, can I give you some advice?"
Beau nodded.
"The heart wants what it wants. You're going to have to choose. Will you hurt someone? Yes. But don't wait for that. Make a decision, and soon."
If he wasn't feeling so down, Beau might have made a joke about the relative corniness of this advice.
Corny, but correct. Beau would have to choose.
Charlie ruffled Beau's hair on his way out of the kitchen. The late-night news was just starting.
Beau glanced at the clock. He had a little time.
He stood up and joined his father in the living room. Evenings like this one were numbered.
The Swans sat quietly, each lost in their own thoughts.
A/N: Canon divergence here we come! This chapter may be divisive for some. I was never Team Jacob in the books, but I think we can all agree how much of a character assassination it was for him to kiss Bella against her will. That never sat right with me.
I felt this change was more than appropriate after publishing Moonrise, my AU of New Moon. Wider repercussions will follow, especially in Compromise (Chapter 13).
Thanks for reading!