A/N: ILY guys for all the feedback I've been getting across platforms. Fanfic . net users, idk why I have such a hard time getting the formatting to be right on here. Any advice is appreciated, lolol.

I wanted to clarify a few things: This will be a long road! Things are gonna get pretty bumpy throughout, but I promise I believe in happily ever afters. Edward and Bella will always be together if I have anything to do with it!

That being said; I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 5

Alice was standing in the doorway when I got inside the house.

"What the fuck was that?" She asked before I was even able to close the door.

I exhaled, closing my eyes. I didn't have time to come up with a fucking excuse, and my head was still swimming with thoughts of Bella and our kisses and her patchouli perfume and -

"Well?" She asked again.

"I don't know, Alice. I wanted to talk to her." I replied lamely as I hung up my jacket and made my way to the kitchen. I grabbed a beer from the fridge, in desperate need of anything that will take the fucking edge off; my nerves were shot.

"You like her."

"I don't… well, I do…" I started, unsure of what the fuck I wanted to say. "We're just friends, Alice."

"It didn't look like you were 'just friends' as you made out in front of our house."

I shot her a glare. I should have known she'd be watching.

"It's okay to like her, Edward." She added.

"Fuck, Alice, please. I don't want to fucking analyze my feelings for Bella, okay? We've hooked up a few times, that's it."

"Whatever you say, Edward, but I know you, and I know I've never seen you with this…" she motioned towards me, "Look on your face before."

I groaned, plopping down on the couch. My sister sat down next to me, not finished with her fucking interrogation.

"Listen, Edward, I won't keep bothering you about it," I shot her a look, and she rolled her eyes. "I won't. I just want you to know that it's okay to fall for someone, you know? I know you put up this tough guy front, like you're incapable of love or something, but I know that's not true. You know it's not true, right?"

"I don't know, Alice." I answered honestly. Was I capable of love?

I loved my sister, and I loved my mother, but those feelings stemmed from my childhood. That was before I was broken by the death of my mother, before my father revealed himself as the demon he truly is.

I wasn't sure that I could feel love anymore. I don't think my brain would allow me. I didn't fucking want it to.

"It's not true." Alice reiterated, standing up and giving me a pat on the shoulder. "I love you, brother, and I'm here if you need someone to talk to."

I went to bed feeling as confused as fucking ever. That little conversation with Alice did not help me sort through my thoughts at all, only making them feel more complicated and layered.

Of course I liked Bella. She was fucking hot, obviously, but she was cool to chill with, too. What's there not to like? I liked Jasper, too, I just didn't want to fuck him.

Did that make it different?

And sure, I was jealous of James for being with her. I was still fucking seething at the thought, truth be told, but he was a fucking asshole and I'd been waiting for a good excuse to knock the prick out for years. Is that why I felt so fucking strongly about this?

Maybe it was all because I heard her in that band room earlier in the day. I could not get the sound of her voice out of my head, or the sight of her sitting at that piano with that glow in her eyes. She'd always had me fucking hypnotised, from the first time we talked at Emmett's party a month ago.

I tossed and turned in my bed for hours, trying to work through my thoughts and feelings and fucking failing hard. It wasn't until I finally gave up and just let my brain drift with thoughts of Bella and tasting her lips that I was able to fall asleep.

The week carried on as normal, for the most part. The only noticeable changes were the small looks Bella and I shared on our walk home with Alice, and that I was cutting most of fourth period to listen to Bella perform in the band room. Secretly, of course.

She was always in there alone, and I wondered how she managed to reserve an entire classroom for herself. Mrs. Cope, the band teacher, probably just couldn't fucking resist her after hearing her play. She had to be the most talented kid in this whole fucking school. She was probably the most talented person on the entire fucking South Side.

I wanted to tell her how fucking great I thought she was everytime I saw her, but I always pussied out. I didn't think she would react well to finding out I'd been fucking spying on her daily. It was just something I'd have to keep to myself, for now.

I remained hopeful that one day, in the near future, she'd play for me if I asked.

Friday after school, as the three of us walked home together, Bella asked us if we wanted to get together later.

"Oh, Bella! I have plans with Jasper, I can't! I'm so sorry!" Alice said, dramatic as always. Bella laughed at her pained response.

"That's okay, Alice. Another time, yeah?"

"Yes, definitely!" Alice chirped in response.

"What about you, Edward?" Bella turned to look at me with that playful look in her eyes.

I felt my eyes light up in return as they gazed into hers. "Yeah, I'm down. What are you trying to get into?"

"There's this bar I go to sometimes, they never check IDs. It's over by my Dad's bait shop."

How the fuck could I pass up an opportunity to go to the bar with Bella? I already knew what happened when we had a few drinks in us.

"Hell yeah, let's do it." I answered her enthusiastically. She smiled at me, hypnotizing me once again with her brightness.

"Cool. Meet you out here around nine?"

"Sounds good to me." I responded, giving her a wave as I walked towards our house with Alice.

"See ya!" She called over her shoulder as she continued down the block to her house.

A shattered beer bottle in the shower let me know Dad had been home, but has since left once again. I sighed, relieved that he was gone but fucking pissed that I had to clean up his mess. Once I did, I took a shower of my own, enjoying my daily masturbation session to thoughts of Bella's giant smile. And the way her ass looked in her jeans today.

There were three outfits laid out on my bed when I got into my room.

"Fuck, Alice!" I called out, knowing she was probably getting ready in her own room next door.

She skipped to my doorway. "I think you should go with the one in the middle, personally." She said. "Though I think you'd look great in all of them."

"This isn't a fucking date or anything, Alice. I'm just going to hang out."

"Right." She spoke condescendingly. "You can still look good when you 'hang out.'"

"Get out, Alice." I said, placing my hand on her shoulder and pushing her backwards, into the hall.

"Have fun, brother!" She called out as I closed the door on her.

I decided to take Alice's word for it and wear the outfit in the middle. It was just black jeans and a tight black long sleeve shirt, but it made me look kind of fucking badass. I decided to seal the fucking deal by popping on my combat boots and leather jacket before heading out to my stoop to have a smoke and watch for Bella.

I saw her front door open at about 9:10. I'd been sitting outside for almost thirty fucking minutes, but I wasn't gonna tell her that. I could at least pretend to have some fucking composure around her.

We met in the middle of the road. Bella smiled up brightly at me as I gestured for her to lead the way. We walked in a comfortable silence, the location being only about ten minutes away. When we got inside and found two seats at the bar, Bella took her big puffy jacket off to reveal her outfit; tight black jeans and a loose fitting black t-shirt that hung off one of her shoulders, exposing her perfect collarbone.

We fucking matched. Again.

I laughed out loud as we took our seats, causing Bella to quirk her eyebrow at me.

Boner activated.

"We match." I commented, gesturing at her body.

She looked me over quickly with a smirk. "I guess we do, huh?"

After a few beers, Bella finally began her inquisition. I knew it was coming; she always seemed to have a slew of questions planned out for me.

"Have you had a girlfriend before?"

"Kind of, I guess. It was middle school." I told her honestly.

"Why'd you break up?"

"Middle school bullshit. I barely remember."

"What was her name?"

"Charlotte."

"Did you love her?"

"Jesus Christ, Bella. Are we playing twenty questions? Because I have a few for you, as well."

She laughed my favorite laugh of hers, the alcohol in her system seeming to make my aggravation even more humorous than she usually found it. "Well, answer mine first." She said between giggles.

"I don't think I loved her, no. I don't think I've loved anyone besides Alice and my Mom." I ran my fingers through my hair awkwardly, surprised once again by how much information Bella could get out of me.

"Do you think you could?" She asked quietly, her eyes looking down into her beer. I didn't like that; I much preferred when her eyes were on me.

"I don't know."

"I don't know if I could, either. Love someone, I mean. Besides my Dad."

We sat silently for a few moments, signaling the bartender to pour us each another brew.

"Will you play the piano for me?" I broke the silence.

Bella's mouth quirked up into a smirk. She took a long sip of her fresh beer before answering. "What's it to you?"

"That's a question," I responded. "I answered enough already. Your turn."

"I guess I can play for you." She glanced up at me with those huge brown eyes. "I don't usually play for people, so consider yourself lucky." She added.

I already considered myself pretty fucking lucky; I'd been listening to her play almost daily, after all, but she didn't need to know that. If I could get her to play for me, I'd finally be able to tell her how fucking great I thought she was without it being super fucking creepy.

"Wanna do a shot?" She asked.

"Who am I to turn down another drink with you?" I responded.

A few more beers and three tequila shots later, we were pretty fucking bombed. Bella was singing her best Bruce Springsteen impersonation for me. Her voice was beautiful, but her impression was so spot on that I was laughing so hard I almost fell off of the barstool. She was fucking ridiculous and fucking sexy and fucking talented and fucking perfect.

"Fuck, I need another drink." I said after regaining some composure. The alcohol helped with the side effects of spending time with Bella; like questioning my every reaction to everything she fucking did or said.

"Let's fucking get one, then!" She yelled, slamming her tiny fists on the bar and causing another fit of giggles to wrack through me. She laughed along.

"I gotta chill with the spending." I told her regrettably. "I'm going broke over here."

"Fuck that, you loser." She giggled, standing up from her stool with a wobble. I reached out and grabbed her elbow to steady her, sending that electric current through me once again as my hand made contact with her skin. She shuddered, and I wondered if she felt it too.

In the next moment, she was out of my grasp and on the other side of the bar. Dumbfounded, I watched as she reached up on her tippy toes, grabbing an expensive looking bottle of tequila off the top shelf. She turned back to me with a smirk before hopping over the bar with a laugh. As her feet planted back on the ground next to me, the bartender's head snapped up, noticing the bottle in Bella's hand.

"Hey! You little bitch, you better give that back."

Bella grabbed onto my hand with a tug. "Come on, Edward!" She yelled as she pulled me from my seated position and started running towards the door.

She was fucking laughing as we made it outside. "We gotta get outta here. He's gonna call the cops, for sure."

We laughed some more as we ran, turning down alleys and jumping over fences as we made our way back towards our block. I didn't really think anyone was actually chasing after us, but the thrill was fucking there. I honestly couldn't remember the last time I'd had so much fun; running after Bella through the south side was potentially the second most enthralling thing I'd done in my eighteen years. Besides fucking her, of course.

We finally settled down in the space between my house and our neighbors. It was a dark little hallway, full of beer bottles and cigarette butts from my time sneaking out here as a kid. It was one of the only places I could escape my father without leaving the property.

Bella popped open her newly acquired bottle of tequila and took a swig. I watched as some of it dripped out of her mouth and down her chin, fighting the urge to lean in and lick it off her skin. Suddenly, her lower lip was between her teeth. Looking up, I noticed her eyes fixated on mine, which were fixated on her mouth just moments before.

Oh, she was doing that for me.

Stepping closer to her, I took the bottle from her hands and placed it against my own lips. I took a slow swig of it, maintaining eye contact with her the entire time. Her pupils dilated as I shot my tongue out to capture a drop I'd missed.

"How do you do this to me?" She asked, quietly and with a slight slur to her words. She was drunk. I was, too.

"Do what?" I asked, my voice coming out husky as I leaned in closer to her.

She exhaled, her breath hitting my face and causing me to shutter.

"Make me want you so fucking bad." She responded as her little hand fisted my jacket and pulled me against her.

"Fuck, Bella," I groaned, letting my lips touch hers but not actually kissing her. "I always fucking want you."

She whimpered into my mouth before pressing her lips tightly against mine. I let my tongue find my way into her mouth, moaning at the contact.

Suddenly, we were interrupted by the sound of my front door slamming open against the house.

"Edward!" My dad screamed from the front porch. "I know you're fucking out there! Get the fuck inside this house now, before I come fucking find you!"

Of fucking course. The man's been basically a ghost since Thanksgiving, and now he fucking shows up.

Bella whimpered against my lips again before I forced myself to pull away. I was fucking tempted to ignore that motherfucker and keep going with her, but I couldn't fucking subject her to that. Who knows what kind of bullshit he'd say to her if he found us back here.

No, I couldn't let that fucking happen. She didn't deserve it, and I wouldn't be able to keep my fucking cool if he disrespected her. The last thing I wanted was for her to witness me beating the shit out of Dad on our front lawn.

"Fuck, Edward," Bella panted, her face still close to mine.

I leaned in and kissed her once more, softly this time. "What are you doing tomorrow?" I spoke quietly against her mouth.

She shook her head. "Nothing. You?"

I laughed lightly, planting a kiss on her forehead. "You can do me tomorrow, for sure, babe."

She laughed with me, her tiny arms coming around my waist and pulling me into a hug.

It was our first hug. I never wanted it to fucking end.

My front door squeaked open again. "Edward!" The asshole continued to scream.

"Go around back, okay?" I told Bella. "I don't want him to see you."

"Roger that." She said, saluting me before turning around and running down the alley and into the darkness.

Thankfully, my dad didn't actually want anything from me. He knew I was outside and just wanted to fuck my night up, I guess. I grabbed him a beer from the fridge, per his request, as he sat half naked on the couch.

"Thanks, son. You're a good kid." He told me as I handed him the beer. Somehow, it was fucking worse when he was being nice to me. I'd much preferred it when he stuck to his asshole M.O., it was less fucking confusing.

I went upstairs without responding to him, eager to finish what Bella started on the side of the house. I took care of myself and fell asleep easily, though it was a restless night.

I dreamt of my father.

"You're a good kid." his voice echoed through my subconscious. The dreams were mostly memories of good times, back when mom was alive.

Playing baseball, the first time I'd hit a home run on the tiny field behind my elementary school. "You're pretty good, kid!" My dad yelled.

Christmas morning, when I'd opened the catcher's mitt he'd got me. "You're a good kid, Eddy. You deserve it." He told me.

Occasionally, a bad memory would creep in.

Mom, wasted and high that same Christmas night. "You're a piece of shit, Ed!" She screamed at my dad. Dad screamed back, fucked up on his own drug coctail. "You dumb bitch!" His hands blindly searching for something to throw, finally landing on a glass plate. It flew across the room, landing across my back and shattering. Blood dripped from my face, where the shards had hit me.

"You good, kid?" Dad asked later, patting me on the back. "You can handle it. You're good."