It was my turn to tell Renesmee a story. A story about my childhood. At the age she was now in her developmental years rather than human years. I didn't realise how much I didn't want to go back. How difficult it would be to take me back to happened in the 1600s. Centuries ago. My mother and father were long dead. And when I looked in the mirror, I looked exactly as I did when my father last saw me. I caught myself looking at my reflection in her bedroom mirror. The boy I was then, looked like the man I am now. But that was impossible. I didn't even feel like the same person, the same vampire I was during that newborn stage. That age of loathing. I winced.

"Everything alright, Pa?" she said in her sweet concerned voice. I smiled at her instantly as she showed her love and concern for her dear Pa. Her chocolate brown eyes were sparkling, but so focused. Focused completely on me as she noticed my internal struggle.

"I'm fine, sweetheart. Come on, let's get you tucked into bed" she didn't protest and pulled back the duvet so she could get under it. She smelled different tonight. A sweet fragrance of lavender which her mother had bought for her to use in the bath. It was so wonderful to have a child in the house. We all loved her so much. We felt like a true family now that Ness had come into our lives. She changed Bella and my Edward's lives forever. And I was forever grateful, no matter what it almost meant for us. We were safe for now, but the Volturi would not rest. Not forever.

"So, Pa, can you tell me a story about your childhood?" she asked eagerly snapping me out of my train of thought.

"Hm? Oh that's a long long time ago Ness, I'm not sure how much I'd remember" I replied. I was only half lying. I did remember the highs and the lows. Those memories that seared in my mind for eternity. Memories that would never truly fade.

"Please Pa! Anything! It doesn't have to be much, I just want to know more about our family history"

I smiled at that. She knew just how to twist my arm as I did love history. I settled down in the rocking chair next to the bed and began to tell her the tale.

I was back in London. I could smell the smoke from the chimneys and the stench from the river Thames. I could smell the intoxicating scent of fresh bread that the Baker used to bake every morning. I could hear the horses hooves on the cobbled pavements, the tradesmen trying to sell their wears and the rowdy cheering from the alehouses. I was just a boy but I knew my destiny from a very young age. I was the clergyman's son, the church were my flock. The streets were my crusade. Bringing the lost sheep to God was our aim, our mission in life. And I loved all people dearly and with all my heart wanted us all to be reunited in heaven one day.

"Carlisle! Hurry up boy! We're going to be late!" boomed a loud domineering voice. I noticed it immediately. My father was glaring at me with disapproval. I moved instantly and ran to reach him. He rolled his eyes and we carried on our journey. It was time for morning prayer at the chapel.

Father always insisted he and I arrived over an hour early, to open the church and prepare ourselves before the congregation started arriving. He had a big black book. A book of prayers and a list of all sins. He insisted all of us write down our sins, document them so we can then ask for forgiveness for them. As many of his congregation couldn't read, he'd insist those that couldn't would verbally ask forgiveness for sins during the prayer meeting. As father had taught me to write, it also meant he could read my sins before anyone else arrived. He tuttered and glowered at me and as usual, without a thought, I hung my head in shame. "Why would you covet your friend's garments, Carlisle? Do I not dress you well enough? The Lord is more concerned in sincerity of your actions than of the clothes on your back!"

"Yes father" I replied sullenly, my head still down. He lifted my chin so I was looking into his eyes.

"You must be the rock in this chapel when the Lord takes me. You must be strong, not weak. My firstborn son will not disgrace me and my dutiful wife. Do you understand boy?" I was terrified and simply nodded in response. He gave me a disgusted look. I knew from his eyes he was disappointed in his 9 year old son who showed no discernible qualities up until this point. His demeanor soon changed once people started to arrive.

"Good morning ladies, please take a seat" he gestured kindly to the wealthy widows who attended all church services without fail. I began to dutifully hand out prayer books, careful not to damage them. They were copies that had been written in English. Many couldn't read or write in English, but it made people feel better holding holy scriptures. As the church began to fill, the judgement began.

I used to switch off for most of it. Try and escape to a place in my head. A place with green fields and babbling brooks. Trying to block out the hate, the despair, the anger.

Father read the first confession out loud and then began to preach. "We must not follow the example of the people in Sodom and Gammorah. Those who do not control their desires, their urges, those evil evil deeds or thoughts, you will burn for all eternity. If you do not turn your back to this sin, your soul will be in torment for all time!" Gasps and cries were heard from the crowd. Some people tutted and started to whisper as they were convinced they knew who it was. Three or four times these confessions would be revealed and my father would admonish it all with his tongue.

"But that's unkind, isn't it Pa? Why would your father say such things? Why would God do such things?" Renesmee piped up, snapping me back to reality for a moment.

"I know sweetheart. But you see Ness, religion is a complex thing. Faith, religion and belief sometimes combat against one another, because knowing the Lord and his love for us vs following the rules don't always align. It's not easy to explain"

"I have time to listen, Pa" she said sweetly.

I moved swiftly to her bedside and stroked her hair. "Not tonight Ness. We'll speak more tomorrow" Her face beamed and she settled down and sighed happily before she closed her eyes. I watched her briefly and then switched off her beside lamp.