It has been several weeks since we last heard from our friends who left with Catalina's household. King Henry is tightly monitoring who is coming and going from Court so Catalina's supporters cannot reach her. We cannot contact them about historical events in case King Henry thinks we're working against him. "I miss them," Mum says. We are in our private bedchamber and working on our own things. Mummy is researching a historical event on my computer while I am listening to the Titanic musical on my mp4 while waiting for inspiration to come to me. I must write a letter to Jane.
"We all do," Mummy says, "but there is not much we can do. If we bring it up with King Henry, he could banish us from Court."
"Yeah, and we have nowhere to go," I agree. "The best we can do is keep our heads down and stay out of trouble."
"Stay out of trouble? I doubt we are capable of that."
I laugh and put my quill down. "No one in our group is capable of that; it's not just us."

Mum sits beside me. "What are you working on?"
"A letter to Jane. I think I encouraged her to develop romantic feelings towards me, but..."
"You don't feel the same way."
"I don't think so. The problem is she told me I will become her secret mistress when she becomes Queen. If I don't love her, there is no point in stringing her along. But at the same time—"
"You must do what's right for you," Mummy says. "So long as Jane Seymour and the rest of Henry VIII's wives become queen in the right order, there cannot be too much of a problem."

I look at the blank page in front of me. "Our friends won't see it like that. As far as they're concerned, history must happen as everything dictates it. But I'm not so sure anymore. It brings us too much pain, and I want to change some things. What is the point of going through history if I cannot help the people I care about?"

Mum sighs. "It is a big decision, but only you can make it. Neither Sarah nor I can convince you one way or another."
"Exactly," Mummy agrees. "We know you too well. If we force you to make one decision, you will choose the other option. As such, there is no point in forcing you."

I groan and move the piece of paper to one side. "But it's so hard to make a decision!" I put my head in my hands. "I don't want to be with Jane, but I have no choice."
"Yes, you do! Don't throw your happiness away just because history says you must."

I look at my desk. Should I tell Jane I love her when I don't? Or should I tell her that our relationship will not work out? If I don't love Jane, I should let her go. She could be happier with someone else. It's the best I can do for her. I pull the page towards me and dip my quill in the ink pot. I write Jane's name but stop. How can I tell Jane in a letter? She'll be devastated enough to hear the news, maybe even more so if I do it in a letter. Maybe I should ride over and tell her.

"Do you think Lady Anne can spare me?" I ask. "I need to go somewhere, and I might not be back for a few days."
"You'll need to ask her yourself," Mummy says. "We cannot always do things for you."
"I know. I'll need to stand on my own two feet by 1894."
"1894?" Mum asks. "What happens then?"
"Nothing important."
"Nothing important?" Mummy shuts the computer. "Emma, your sailing career will mean everything to you! It's not "nothing important"!" She looks out at the window before she faces us again. "You're thinking about Will, aren't you?"
"Yeah. I know I've never met him, but I already know I love him. Is that weird?"
"A little, especially as he's not even born yet!"
"And in the time I was born, he was already dead."
"How messed up is that?" Mum asks. "If things went normally and you lived your life without travelling to Tudor England—"
"I don't want to think about it!"

I cannot imagine my life without the queens. They have been there for me most of my life, and I must pay my younger self back and give her the childhood she deserves. "You do know you will have the same problem with Katheryn Howard and King Henry, right?" Mummy asks.
"I've not forgotten." I rest my head on my arm. "But I don't have a choice with King Henry unless I want to disappear, and I'm not going to do that. I'm not risking our hard work and our lives so I can tell the King "No" when he asks me to marry him!"
"What about with Katheryn?" Mum asks.
"I don't want my first time to be with King Henry, so I might not have much choice."
"What if Will turns up before then?"
"That's unlikely to happen as he's born in the 1870s."
"1870s, got it. When do you meet him?"
"September 1900."
Mum pulls a face. "You have a long wait, then."
"Unfortunately."

Someone knocks on the door. "I'll get it," Mum says. She walks over and opens the door. A courtier I do not recognise walks in.
"I am sorry to disturb you, ladies, but Lady Anne is asking for you. She wants to see the three of you in her bedchamber immediately."
"We will be there." Mum looks at Mummy and me. Mummy places the laptop on the desk, and I move my papers away. We stand out and head out of the door.
"You should bring me with you," K-9 says, rolling towards us.
"No, K-9," Mummy says. "You disappear for weeks on end, and you never tell us what you are doing."
"I am trying to keep history in order."
"If anyone else gets their hands on you, it will change history forever," I say. "We are not risking that."
"I could be useful."
"I'm sorry, but it's too risky," Mummy says. "Maybe another time."
"We can't do that," Mum says. "Emma's right. If anyone gets their hands on him, everything will change and we won't know what to do. No, it's best K-9 stays here." We head out of the room, and Mummy shuts and locks the door behind us.

When we arrive at Anne's bedchamber, we find the door standing open and Anne surrounded by her ladies. "Leave us," she tells them. The other ladies curtsey to her and head out of the door, closing it behind them. It is only a few moments until it is just the four of us.
"Is something the matter?" Mummy asks.
"I have a letter from Catalina. King Henry ordered her to disband most of her household and send most of the ladies either to Court or back to their families. She asks what she should do about our friends who are still with her."
"Historians don't know what Jane Seymour gets up to for the next couple of years, so it could be she returns to her family," I recall. "As for the others, all of them but Maria return to Court. Maria stays with Catalina until next year."
"I will write to Catalina and tell her what you said."
"Are you sure you aren't saying Jane Seymour returns home for another reason?" Mum asks.
"Am I missing something?"

"No, you're not missing anything," I say. "No, nothing at all. It is best Jane returns home so we can keep history on track."
"You're doing it again," Mummy says.
"Doing what?"
"You start rambling whenever something happens you're not happy about. You don't want Jane to return to Court, do you?"
I open my mouth to deny it, but no sound comes out. "...no," I finally say. "But I have no choice about it. She becomes Henry VIII's third wife, so I cannot stop that."
"Is there any way she can become Henry VIII's wife, but you leave Court?" Mum asks.
"No, that won't work. Henry locks me up in the Tower for a month because I'm supposed to be her mistress, but I don't want that."
"Most of us are going through things we don't want," Anne says. "If we could change things, we would. We're in the same position as you; only you know what will come."
"That is true."
"If we have to go through with things we don't want to do, it seems only fair you do the same."
"But our entire relationship will be built upon a lie."
"So is my relationship with the King. Do you think I ever wanted this?"
"No."
"Then there is your answer. You might not want to be with Jane, but history gives you no choice. Make the best of it."

A few hours later, the sunlight is fading from the window. Darkness descends upon the country. I light a candle and pull the letter towards me. Before Jane's name, I now add "my dearest". I stop there and think about what to write next. Anne says her relationship with the King is based on a lie, and I must do the same with Jane. But how can I write something like that? I want to tell the truth since I've lied almost my entire life. What is the point of building a relationship on a lie? Jane will be heartbroken when I finally tell her.

But maybe I don't need to tell her until I bring her back to life. Besides, I only have to fake a relationship with her for seven years before I'm free.

Oh, who am I kidding? Seven years is way too long to fake a relationship with someone. I cannot do that. Maybe it's time I start breaking away from history. It might work if I change small things most people won't notice. It must work. Failure is not an option.

I find a fresh sheet of paper and begin writing my letter again. I must cut off my relationship with Jane before it grows into something I cannot control. I don't want to pretend I love her when I don't. I continue writing until I fill a page and sign the letter off as "your friend for as long as you wish, Emma". I cannot think of a better way to end it, so it must work.

As dawn rises, I am about to find a messenger when someone knocks on the door. "At this time already?" Mummy asks as Mum helps her into her dress. I'm already dressed and waiting for them. "Emma, will you be a dear and get that?"
I open the door to find an unfortunately familiar woman standing there, and it is someone I prayed I won't see for a few more years. Her cold, calculating blue eyes search mine, and I slam the door in her face.

"What is it?" Mum asks.
"Your sister's here."
"Then why did you slam the door in her face?"
"It's a long story."
"We have time." Mum sits on the bed. "What did she do to make you slam the door in her face?"
"Oh, once you hear my story, you'll want to do something far worse than slamming a door in her face."
"I'll be the judge of that."