When Mum and Mummy leave me the following morning, I pack my things and take them to the stable. One of the grooms is there. "Can you please saddle up my horse?" I ask him and give him a coin.
"At once, miss." He gets my horse ready once I point him out, and I ride away with my things before anyone notices I'm gone. At least, I hope no one sees me. Now all I need to do is find my way to Catalina and her household. I cannot be near Jane any longer.

Throughout the journey, I make several stops so I can rest overnight. I don't have any friends I can stay with, so I spend money spending the night at an inn. Each night, I think about Court. I haven't left a note or told anyone I was going. Are they looking for me? Do they even care that I've left?

I quickly banish those two thoughts from my mind. Even if Jane doesn't care, Mum and Mummy do. They'll be searching for me. Have they left Court because of me? If they have left, where have they gone?

The journey is tiring, but I travel for as long as possible during the day. The further I get from Court, the better. Another thought that keeps me going is Catalina. King Henry ordered her to move recently, and I overheard where she was. I pull out a map I brought and look at the stars. If only I could work out where I am through celestial navigation. I must learn that before I join White Star Line. The sooner I start, the better.

The following day, I reach Ampthill and tell the guards I'm there to visit the Queen. She can use the title for now, but there will be a new Queen of England by June. They let me in and tell Catalina I am there. We withdraw into her bedchamber. "I am so glad you came to visit. No one else here knows of the plan, and I dare not let them read my letters."
"I can understand that. How are you holding up?"
"Not that well. I heard Lady Anne destroyed my coat of arms on my barge."
"She did, yes," I say.

I remember the bright May Day clearly. Lady Anne was walking on the boat, the wood creaking under her feet. Catalina's coat of arms was still in place. "Destroy it," she told some of the nearby servants.
"What?" Mummy asked. "Why would you do that?"
"I am going to be queen, and only the queen's barge is good enough for the coronation."

I shake my head and focus back on Catalina. "That is partly why I'm here. I want you to employ me."
Catalina's mouth falls open. "What did you say?"
"It's impossible for me to stay in Lady Anne's household. I can't be there anymore."
"Is it because of the plot? We can always call it off and continue as we should."
"Partly, but that's not why I'm here," I tell her what's happening to me and what I discovered about Jane. "I don't think I can do it with her, but she's the only viable option at the moment."
"At the moment," Catalina reminds me. "That can easily change."

I sit back and look towards the fire. I raise my hands to it, and the warmth from the flames touches my hands. I close my eyes and smile. I could get used to being here. I can finally breathe.

Catalina watches me for a while. "Did you tell your parents you were coming here?"
"No." I fold my hands and place them on my lap. "No one knows I am here."
"You should send a letter to them. Do you want them to search the kingdom for you?" I shake my head. "Then write to them and let them know you are safe."

That night, I settle with Catalina's remaining ladies and write a letter to Mum and Mummy in the morning. I finish writing it and find someone to send it to Court. Whether it will get to them or not will be another matter. I hope it does since they must worry about me and search all over London.

The next few days pass quietly, and we focus on our sewing and embroidery. There is an altar cloth that Catalina wants to make for the local church, so we sew throughout the day and sometimes continue by candlelight. Each day, I go to bed tired but brimming with energy. My fingers hurt from pricking myself so many times. However, I feel the urge to do more than sew and pray. I need to run and dance. I need to feel alive. I felt alive at Court, but I will not return. Not while Jane is there.

It's not just my fingers that are hurting. My tentacles ache; I feel ravenous despite eating normally. My entire body aches with longing, but I cannot place it. What is this new feeling?

In the morning, Catalina and I meet in private, and I try to explain what is going on. Her brow furrows, and she stands up. She begins pacing and wringing her hands. "How long has this gone on for?"
"A few days."
Catalina stops walking and looks at me. "So, as soon as you arrived?"
"Something like that."
She shakes her head. "Do your parents know?"
"No, I did not see a reason to tell them then."

Catalina sighs. "Write to them again and tell them of this development. If I must order you, I will. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Your Majesty."
Catalina shakes her head and laughs. "You do not need to use my title when we are alone. Catalina will do."
I grin back. "I know. I better get started on that letter." Catalina nods and lets me sit at her table while I write. I end up thinking for a long time. How can I word my letter in a way that will make them understand what is going on? It might not be serious, so I will try and express it like that. But what if it is? Should I ask them to come and check on me?

Eventually, I dip the quill in the ink pot and begin writing. I pause several times to find the right words but continue until I fill the page. Before I can change my mind, Catalina takes the letter and asks one of her ladies to send it to Mum and Mummy at Court.

I don't even get a chance to read over it.