One Piece: Strawhat Theater
"Our Mrs. Monkey"
Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan-based work of prose. One Piece is the property of Toei Animation, Funimation, and Eiichiro Oda. Please support the official release.
Thousand Sunny
"Hnnn," Luffy growled, nuzzling Nami as he cuddled her in their bed, "It's been forever since I had you..."
"It was two hours~!" Nami giggled, playfully batting at him.
"That's practically forever," Luffy insisted, slurping his tongue up and down her neck. She gasped loudly, and began to pull his clothes off...
There was an insistent knock on the door. Nami squeaked, and pulled her shirt down as the hatch opened. A small form stood there, dressed in one of Nami's shirts, holding a crude plushy of a reindeer.
"Ace-chan? What is it?" Nami asked.
"Mommy, Daddy, I had a nightmare," Ace sniffled, "Can I sleep with you?"
Luffy frowned heavily. Nami scowled and elbowed him.
"Of course you can, sweetie," Nami said. Luffy pouted a bit but reached out to grab their daughter and pull her up to the bed. He held her as he sat her up on the bunk, and looked her in the eyes.
"What was the nightmare? What happened?" Luffy asked his daughter, his voice soft. Ace wiped her eyes with her free hand.
"I was all alone on Sunny. There was no one," whimpered Ace, "I screamed and screamed and-and nobody came... And some scary monsters came. They ate... Ate everything... You never came...!"
Luffy scowled. He picked up his daughter and headed out. Nami blinked and got up, walking after him.
"Luffy?"
"Come on Nami," Luffy said, in his "Captain's Voice."
They went out onto the main deck. Sanji was keeping watch in the night while Zoro got in a late workout, and both looked up curiously at the Monkey family walking out.
"Everything all right?" Sanji asked.
"What's going on?" Zoro asked.
Luffy set his daughter down, and smiled.
"Ace-chan... No matter what happens, all of us will be here for you," he said. "We're a crew. We'll always be there for each other."
"Really?" Ace asked.
"Sanji?" Luffy asked. "If someone tried to hurt Ace-chan, what would you do?"
Sanji smirked, and flared his Diamble Jambe.
"I'd kick the shit out of them," he swore.
"Language!" Nami hissed, though she looked very touched.
"Zoro?" Luffy asked. Zoro smirked, and held up his sword.
"They'd be in too many pieces to count," he growled.
Nami looked worriedly at Ace-chan, but instead of being scared, her eyes were wide in wonder.
"And me? Any monsters try to get at you," Luffy swore, "I'll take them down."
He bit down on his thumb, flared his Haki, and vanished briefly in an explosion of steam. A moment later, Gear Fourth Luffy emerged, grinning savagely down at his tiny daughter.
"Because there's something all monsters are scared of-ME."
"W-Wow," Ace gasped, "You look so cool, Daddy!"
Luffy nodded.
"And you wanna know who's scarier than all of us? Your mommy," Luffy said, beaming at his wife. Ace looked at her mother in wonder, and Nami smiled. She walked up and hugged Ace-chan tightly.
"Yeah... Nothing will ever happen to you, Ace-chan. Not if I can help it," she murmured.
"You're really scarier than Daddy and Sanji and Zoro?" Ace asked.
"If they know what's good for them," Nami smirked. Zoro scowled, but nodded. Sanji sighed happily.
"Oh Nami-swan~...!"
"So, do you feel better, Ace-chan?" Luffy asked. Ace nodded.
"Yeah! A lot!" She said.
"Can you go back to sleep now?" Luffy asked. Ace beamed.
"Yeah!"
"Great!" Luffy grinned and hugged his daughter. Despite his size, he treated her gently.
"Can I get a snack?" She pleaded.
"Ooh! That's a great idea!" Luffy said cheerfully, looking over at Sanji. "Can we?"
Sanji sighed.
"I'll make something for her," he stated firmly, eyes narrowed at his captain, "You didn't have a nightmare."
"YAY!" Ace cheered, rushing off to the messhall like a shot, waving her stuffed reindeer behind her. Luffy frowned, reverting back to his normal form.
"But I did have a nightmare," he protested. Nami shared his frown. Luffy sounded so serious-Usually a turn on for her, but there was a hint of sadness in his voice.
"When? What happened?"
"Few nights ago," Luffy admitted. "It was back on Drum Island. When I was climbing the mountain in the blizzard. I was carrying you, and Sanji... And Ace-chan..."
His frown deepened, and he looked at the deck.
"I dropped Ace-chan. I couldn't get her in time. Then I woke up."
A moody silence fell. Sanji then scoffed.
"Idiot... If Ace-chan had been there and you dropped her? I'd have caught her."
Luffy looked up in shock.
"Oh! I didn't think of that!"
"You shouldn't have to," Sanji grinned, "Like you said... We're a crew. We'll always be there for each other."
Luffy grinned.
"Thanks Sanji!"
"Yeah... Thank you," Nami said with a smile. Sanji blushed.
"Aw, Nami-swan~!"
"Please," Zoro snorted, "I'd have ended up at the bottom of the mountain and caught her because you're useless with your hands!"
"You'd be lost, dumbass!" Sanji growled back, taking an aggressive drag off his cigarette, "I am NOT useless with my hands! My hands are works of art!"
"That why you can't fight with them?"
"Least they can do more than chop like a drunken hobo!"
"Shitty Cook!"
"Mosshead!"
Nami sighed and led Luffy away from their two fellow crewmembers, as they began to fight.
"Come on. I'll pick the lock on the fridge and get us a snack," she said.
"Really?!" He hugged her. "I love you so much, Nami~!"
"Just-Just this one time!" Nami insisted, blushing hard.
"What if I do that thing with my tongue-?"
Nami bonked Luffy on the head as she blushed down to her breasts.
"NOT IN FRONT OF ACE!"
"Owww! Shishishi~!"
Omake: Buggy Stream
We see a very unhappy Buggy sitting on his couch, sulking.
"Well... It had to happen some time," Buggy groaned, "Of course a show as popular as mine had to be invaded by some asshole-"
"Psst! Captain! Psst!" Galdino hissed from offscreen. Buggy sighed, and threw up his arms.
"Our special guest for this show is a man who invaded my ship and has taken me hostage. Legally, anyway," Buggy groaned. "Say hello to... Ugh... RED HAIRED SHANKS."
The man himself walks out to some canned applause, and sits down opposite Buggy. He smiles at Buggy kindly.
"Hey Buggy! How's being a Warlord?"
"DON'T JUST CASUALLY ASK THAT YOU BASTARD!" Buggy screamed, his eyes bulging. "YOU INVADED MY SHIP AND TOOK ME HOSTAGE!"
Shanks winked and nodded.
"Of course. But later you're going to drive me off with your incredible power-"
"YES OF COURSE I AM! JUST YOU WAIT!" Buggy shrieked desperately. He cleared his throat and settled back on the couch.
"In the meantime: How's life?"
"Pretty good!" Shanks grinned. "I've got another child!"
"YOU TOO?!" Buggy shouted. "WHAT'S WITH ALL THESE PIRATES HAVING KIDS ALL OF A SUDDEN?!"
"Now now, Buggy, I'm sure you'll find the one for you some day," Shanks said, patting the clown-like pirate on the shoulder.
"ARE YOU MOCKING ME YOU BASTARD?! I HAVE ALVIDA, YA KNOW!"
"We're not together," Alvida supplied, walking on camera and giving Shanks some tea. Shanks smiled.
"Of course you two aren't," Shanks teased. "Thanks for the tea!"
"You're welcome, Emperor Shanks."
"GRAH!" Buggy once again focused on composing himself as Alvida slid off camera. "Well... Congratulations, I guess! We'll send you something in the mail for the kid! Speaking of, did you get Strawhat anything for his kid?"
"I might have, but the mail can be unpredictable," Shanks said with a shrug. He grinned at the camera. "Congratulations, Luffy! She's beautiful!"
"I suppose you'd approve," Buggy growled, "Given Captain Roger found you in a chest and raised you on his ship!"
"Hey, he took you in too, Buggy."
"YOU WERE THE FAVORITE!" Buggy growled. "ALWAYS GETTING SPECIAL TREATMENT!"
"You did get the Chop Chop Fruit," Shanks pointed out, "I never got a Devil Fruit."
"LIKE YOU NEED ONE!"
"So you're saying I'm so strong I don't need a Devil Fruit?"
"GAAAAHHH!" Buggy paused. "Wait. You said you had another child? How many kids do you have?!"
"Just two," Shanks said, his smile becoming a bit sad, "One's all grown up now. I'm very proud of her... But she's better off without me."
Buggy gaped.
"That's... Wow... Kind of dark and sad for you, Shanks." Buggy puffed himself up. "You're not so perfect after all!"
"Never said I was," Shanks said, sipping more tea. Buggy winced.
"Damnit... You made me feel bad for being an asshole! HOW DO YOU DO THAT?!"
"It's because you're a much better person than you give yourself credit for."
"GRRRRAAAAHHH! YOU COMPLIMENTING ME PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH!"
He paused.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU GET ME ANY TEA, ALVIDA?!"
"You didn't ask."