Torchwood: Divergence
Book Three: Rheoleiddiad
Chapter 9
Jack heard the door click shut and sighed. Could this day get any worse?
It was hard not to give in when Gwen looked at him the way she had been a few seconds earlier, but he'd been learning to steel his heart to it for some time now. Besides, his number one concern was the young Changeling shivering against his side. Yes, he might still entertain the occasional fantasy about the green-eyed brunette he'd recruited from the Cardiff Heddlu, but in truth he'd given up on any feelings he'd harboured for her when she'd gone through with marrying Rhys. If he hadn't, he probably wouldn't have abandoned the Earth after losing Ianto and failing to bring him back or join him. And Harkness was again reminded of just how scarily perceptive his partner was and always had been… how strong and yet so fragile.
"I… I see the way you look at her sometimes…" Ianto whispered miserably, not even bothering to open his eyes. "You always have done. I know that look… know what's in your heart by what shows in your eyes… know the feelings you bleed without realising it. And I've lain beside you at night in the past when you've been dreaming… heard the things you whisper. I'm not stupid, Jack… and I know you were watching her when we danced at the wedding. Worried when I was blind… listening to the two of you laugh and joke at night.
"I believe you love me, that she loves Rhys. And I trust you… I trust you and I trust Gwen. But it still bothers me… sometimes badly. After the nightmare I had this morning… It may've just been venom induced, but it won't let go… not yet. It hurts… and it terrifies me. I can't ask you to change… I might want to… but you wouldn't be Jack if you did. Most times I can just tell myself I'm being stupid and jealous… Until that dream turns me loose though… I honestly don't know what I'll do. Safest thing is to avoid her. But I don't' want her feeling hurt and angry again… I just…"
Ianto's voice disappeared in a strained, breathless squeak and he tried to turn away from his partner, his expression and behaviour telling the other man he felt he'd overstepped some line between them, and that he feared he'd made him angry. The Captain tightened his arm around the younger immortal, shifted to put his other arm over his upper chest above the surgical wounds and hold him close.
"I won't insult you by trying to deny I have occasional fantasies still," Harkness murmured. "I'm embarrassed and feel like a total ass because you've stood by me all this time knowing it. The fact that you are aware of my selfish little secret and not only still love me, but trust me… that alone will keep me from ever crossing the line, no matter what temptation comes my way.
"It hurts to have you so miserable because of me though, venom induced or not. If you don't want Gwen around until you know you won't panic at the sound of her voice, then I'll keep her on leave or at least away from you, definitely out of here. This room is our safe haven and I won't allow anyone to treat it otherwise. Some new rules are in order concerning that point, but it can wait. All I'm worried about right now is helping you feel secure with us and getting you on the mend. If that means I stay exactly like this with my arms around you till morning or after, then I'm ready. The team can deal with the Rift. If I need to wait for the staples to come out and then kidnap you away somewhere far from Torchwood for a while, I'll do that. Whatever it takes, Ianto… whatever you need."
The T3 Archivist stirred, a choked moan escaping him as he made to turn again. Only this time he eased over to huddle closer to his lover and lean his head on the older man's shoulder instead of moving away.
"I don't mean to cause trouble between you and Gwen," Ianto hissed, what little voice he'd had pretty much gone now. "Friends don't do that… Besides, you've put up with nothing but trouble because of me since before Christmas… and she's been through more than enough lately as well."
"You aren't making trouble for anyone, buddy," Jack insisted, kissing the twenty-six-year-old on the forehead. "You can't help that your luck on missions has been total crap the past couple of months, and any damage you've taken has been to protect others. Gwen's issues are her own, so don't even think about feeling guilty on that front. No, you haven't done anything wrong or caused me anything but worry… and I know I give you just as much if not more. You're still new to the whole Immortal Guardian and Saving the World gig, and it takes awhile to adjust. But you can't go at it twenty-four-seven, or you'll keep crashing every few months. You need a break, and I need some concentrated Barista Boy therapy. We really need to go on dates again, sight see, shop, have meals out. Just the two of us, without comms or PDAs or guns. We need Jack and Ianto time, and not just for the 'dabbling'… though that's always a plus."
"I like this …" the shivering Changeling in his embrace breathed. "Listening to your heartbeat… hearing your voice… feeling you close…"
"I'm kinda enjoying it myself," Harkness half-smiled, glad to feel some of the tension finally leaving his companion's muscles. "In fact, I think Captain Cardiff needs a nap. Give me just a second to ditch some clothing and I'll come snuggle in with you for a bit."
The American helped Ianto ease over against the pillows again, quickly rose to start stripping down.
"Hey, kids," he stated, having activated his Bluetooth. "I know you're all concerned about Ianto. I swear that he's doing fine and just needs some rest, so I'm going to keep him company for a span. You'll know he's up to guests when I come out and issue an invite. Till then please be patient, be careful, keep an eye on the Rift, and try not to worry, yeah? Thanks. Oh, and my comms about to get turned off. See you in a couple hours."
He shut down the device, lait it atop his book on the night table, turned off all but the mock cityscape light over the bed, leaned over to give his partner a very solid kiss, then slid beneath the sheets in just his briefs. Some careful shifting ensued, but finally the pair settled into a reasonably comfortable embrace.
"You are like my own personal space heater right now," the Captain chuckled softly. "Nice. Too bad you have to be healing from something horrific for it to happen."
His voice now gone entirely, Ianto simply gave a tiny nod and sighed as he managed to finally relax. For his part, Jack found his lover's nearest hand and drew it up between them so that he and the Changeling could feel both their hears beating. This was something the two of them had really been needing… down time.
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AN: At least Jack recognises his part in things and is willing to work on being a better partner…
Thank you to those reading the story. And thank you to those who have followed, favourited, and reviewed. NM