Roman was anxious when they got home. That much was obvious. Virge knew they wouldn't get an answer for a few days, and that was almost worse than the testing itself.

Virgil's own testing to be rediagnosed should probably be classified as mild torture. Since they were testing if he was Anxious or Paranoid, he was put in several scenarios that would make one - you guessed it - anxious and paranoid. He doesn't envy Roman. Every test is different, but the more trouble the doctor has diagnosing you, the more bizarre the tests become. At least, from Virgil's experience.

When Roman and Logic got home, it was close to dinner. They had been gone for most of the day, and Virgil knew that meant Roman really got it handed to him. He could see the exhaustion in his shoulders.

"Hey." Virgil said softly from his spot on the couch with Patton curled against him. Despite his low volume, Roman still jumped. He rubbed his face and gave Virgil a half-hearted wave. Virge glanced at Logic, who was slowly taking off his jacket. He had a contemplative look on his face. Virge wondered what all could be going through that brilliant mind. Patton snuggled closer to Virgil in his sleep. Virge wrapped his arm tighter around Patton's shoulders, keeping him in place.

"You survived." Virgil said.

Roman gave a small snort as he approached. "Barely."

Virgil got the urge to pull Roman closer and let him join their cuddle pile. Instead he just smiled and said, "Knew you could handle it."

Roman's surprised smile warmed Virgil's chest. Roman looked away and cleared his throat. "We won't know anything for a while."

"Oh, great!" Virgil said sarcastically. "You love waiting!"

"I could wait longer than you, Panic and Prejudice." Roman grumbled and Virge wasn't sure he was listening anymore, based on his distant gaze. He was staring at the TV, which was currently showing in a commercial for jackets for Fusions.

"I advise you don't stay up too late tonight." Logic said as he finally joined them by the couch. He placed his hand on Roman's shoulder as he spoke. Virgil could see Logic seemed just as exhausted as Roman. Leaning on Roman a bit, he said, "I need to complete a homework assignment before I cook dinner but-"

"Don't." Virgil sat as much as he could without waking Patton. "I can order pizza."

"Pizza sounds amazing." Logic said with a wide, relieved smile. Virgil noticed Roman's expression, the adoration was clear as day. Roman slowly reached his arm around Logic and guided him to the stairs.

He spoke quietly, "I advise you to not stay up anymore. Go take a nap, Lo."

Logic protested as he walked to the stairs, "I have a project that must be completed-"

"When's the due date?" Roman asked.

Logic hesitated. "Well, it's not strictly until next week but-"

"Then you can sleep until it's pizza time." Roman said, "Come on, Lo. You had a long day, too."

Logic sighed, "Very well. Please awake me when the pizza is here?"

"Of course." Roman said. Virgil hid his smile in his fist as Logic pressed a kiss to Roman's cheek. Roman's gasp could be heard across the room; not a second later, his cheeks flushed scarlet.

Virgil bit his lip and looked away, trying to pretend he was watching the TV as Roman came back to the couch. He had a wide, satisfied grin on his face. Roman laid on the other half of the couch, taking up the remaining free space. He rested his legs on Patton's lap and stared up at the ceiling.

Virgil watched him in between glances at the TV. He wasn't even interested in the show anymore; his show had finished four episodes ago. Patton fell asleep on him, so Virgil was stuck watching whatever came on next. Now it was some odd game show and Virgil had to act really hard to seem entertained by it.

"Alright, Jerry, it's time to spin that wheel!" The host of the show said, four eyes shining brightly.

Finally, Virgil spoke, "Did they make you do the clock?"

"Oh my god, fuck the clock!" Roman threw his hands up in the air. Virgil bit back a laugh, instantly relaxing. He held Patton closer, but he wasn't that worried about him waking up. Pat had been really tired lately, and slept like the dead. Well, the adorable dead that is. Roman kept complaining, "It's so boring!"

"Boring?" Virgil did laugh that time. "How long did you sit there?"

"I dunno, a few minutes." Roman said, with a small frown. "Why, what's your record?"

Virgil covered his face with his free hand, then quickly dropped it as he realized he looked stupid as fuck for being embarrased by a diagnosis test. Still, he could hear the whine in his own voice as he said, "Four Mississippi's."

Roman snorted and said, "Four seconds? That's it?"

"Look, it was after they had me watch graphic videos and I was still shaken by that-" He was making excuses, and he knew it. How hard was it to not turn around in an empty room?

Roman sat up suddenly, scooting closer. He lowered his voice as he spoke, "They made you watch porn too?"

"What? No!" Virgil and Roman jerked back at the same time. Cheeks hot, Virgil said, "I had to watch STRESS attacks."

Horror spread across Roman's face. He quickly faced the TV again and said, "Oh."

Virgil looked back to the TV as well, mind stuck on that little detail. When Roman said he had taken tests for Negatives before, he didn't realize that meant, like, all Negatives. Virgil had nothing against Sexually Deviant Negatives like Janus' friends. They were just traits, like everyone else. But it was weird to think, maybe Roman would be one.

"That's kind of fucked up." Roman said after a prolonged silence. Virgil knew he didn't mean the TV show, where the contestant just lost a great deal of money.

Virgil nodded, looking down at Patton. He was still snoozing, unbothered. "Yeah, like. What if you were ace or something?"

Now it was Roman's turn to say, "What? No." Virgil looked up to see him frowning. "I meant them forcing you to watch STRESS events as a kid."

Virgil shrugged, "It was alright; I was a teen when I- um, when I took the test."

Roman shook his head, "Still. That's so shitty. What were the videos like?"

Again, Virgil shrugged, "You know. Like the mall, I guess. Or like on the news. There's a STRESS and it freaks out. Sometimes the cops show up. One time they-" Virgil froze, remembering how that particular video ended. "Uh, anyway, it's just stupid, violent videos to see if I freak out."

Roman repeated quietly, "That's so fucked."

For the first time in a long time, Virgil thought about his rediagnosis process. He remembered the long day, the endless questions and jumpscares. He remembered the exhaustion he felt at the end of it; his trait having been activated over and over.

But then he remembered the joy he felt at getting his new diagnosis. When he received that phone call, forced himself to actually answer it, and was given the key to slightly better social freedom. Switching the 'Negative' title for the 'Illness' one was like being dropped underwater - everyone's hatred of him fell silent. Afterall; how could you harass someone that's sick?

He asked himself that whenever he thought of his parents.

But Roman - he was searching for an Emotional diagnosis. And, unfortunately, there were a lot of Negative emotions. And if Roman is given one of those - Disgust, Envy, Shame, Rage, there were so many possibilities - the Negative label of that trait would outweigh the Emotional diagnosis. If he was any unwanted emotion, he'd become a Creative-Negative and be dropped into the same shameful category as Virge and Janus. Virgil looked over at Roman, the weight of his future - possibly their future - sat heavily on his shoulders. And what would Roman have done to deserve such a fate? What was his crime? Was he too Needy? Too Loud? Too Demanding? Too full of opinions, desires, and life?

"Yeah." Virgil agreed in the low light. "That is fucked."

Skull shattering, splitting, spiraling, spitting and -

And what? He tapped his pen repeatedly, glaring at the words. Words had been filling his mind lately and he was going to drown in them if he didn't get them out. Virgil didn't write much. He journaled as a kid but that was because his therapists told him to. The habit sort of stuck and slowly morphed into a mild appreciation for prose. Not that he'd tell anyone that, of course. Everything he's ever written has either been burned, thrown away, or stuffed deep into his closet to never be found.

Virgil scribbled out the words he wrote. They weren't accurate enough, and it only made him mad. He stared at the page full of half-written lines and decided he should stick to drawing.

"Virge, your 10 o'clock is here." Spunk called, forcing him to get back to work.

He had been stuffing as many clients into his time as he could, trying to catch up from being Kyler for so long. He was throwing a flash sale at the end of the week in hopes of gaining an extra buck. Until then, it was skulls, partner's names, and butterflies. He didn't care what he was drawing, so long as he was able to space out for a while in silence.

Most of his clients today were delightfully silent during the entire process, and Virgil couldn't ask for a better scenario. He had a lot on his mind lately, and yet nothing at all. He couldn't pull a specific image forward; but a lingering feeling planted itself firmly in the back of his mind. It had been there since he unfused and it was really starting to get annoying.

Even more frustrating, the only solution he could think of to get rid of the feeling was to fuse again. But Virgil didn't particularly want to be fused right now. Not as Kyler, and not as anyone else. He liked fusion, but he felt so off kilter after being gone for so long. He was gone. That was it. That was what made Virgil's skin crawl and heart pound.

He was gone.

Could Virgil even say he was alive during those short weeks? When Kyler took over their lives and stayed. Virgil could barely remember it even happened, and that was more terrifying than it should be. Right? Was Virgil overreacting? What was a little memory loss among friends?

No, no this felt weird. He was sure of it. But if fusing for a few weeks was enough to freak Virgil out - how could he ever become Established?

"Sorry, Logan." Virgil muttered as he wiped his arm down with a disinfectant. Maybe he could just keep this one hidden forever? Virge didn't care - he'll deal with the consequences later. Right now he needed some form of control. He didn't have his memories, or his confidence for the future (Did he ever have that?). But he did have clean skin ready for ink.

After Spunk and Elliot had already left for the day, and Virgil finished cleaning up from his last appointment; he got to work. He didn't exactly have a design in mind, but he knew this was what he needed. Whatever the results were - he had to color on his skin or he'd lose his goddamn mind.

He started with black ink, sketching along his forearm. He made a loose outline, small curves forming along the top of the drawing. He wiped away ink and blood as he worked. When he started, Virgil thought tattooing himself would be difficult. But the pain was easy to block out, and sometimes it even encouraged Virgil to work harder. If he was going to be hurt, the end product better look good.

He took his time, keeping his hand steady despite the sparks in his other arm. Once he was satisfied with the beginning outline, Virgil switched to his favorite ink - a deep purple that showed up really well on most skin.

He used the purple as an accent around the lineart and began shading. The purple brought the lineart to life, adding depth and shading in a way that made it obvious what Virgil was making: a thunderstorm.

Yeah, Virgil was afraid of big storms. But this one wasn't big; it was small, to fit on his arm. In his moody exhaustion, it was the best thing he could think of to express his thoughts. As he added darker shading to the bottom of the clouds, he realized he really liked the design. Which was great, since he had no way to erase it.

Lastly, he found a bright yellow, and his white ink. Using both he added lightning striking across the clouds. He finished up with some highlights and as he wiped away his own blood one last time, he finally felt calmness settle inside his bones.

Virgil took a picture before he wrapped his own arm to the best of his abilities. He stared down at his new colorful wound. He didn't have many tattoos, and he knew there was a possibility of them fading or disappearing entirely when he's grown. But as he inspected the thunderstorm, the artwork that he turned pain into; he had only one thought:

I hope this one stays when we're Established.

"Hey, Lo. Are you busy?" Virgil asked, leaning against the nerdy Side's door. Logic jumped when he spoke, and Virgil bit back a grin. Something in Virgil's chest fluttered, but not in a scary way. Whatever magic control Logic had on Virgil's heart - he wanted Lo to make that feeling happen again.

Logic looked between Virgil and the laptop he was always typing away on. He said at last, "Do you require assistance?"

"No," Virgil watched as Shadow walked past him and right into Logic's room. She jumped up on Logic's desk and rubbed her face on the corner of his laptop. Virge never understood why cats did that - it couldn't be comfortable. Logic pet her, a smile spreading across his lips. "I was about to watch a movie."

"Okay." Logic said. He kept petting the cat.

Virgil felt his heart stumble in a much more familiar way. "Uh. Do- do you want to watch it with me?"

Logic's head snapped up to look at him. With wide eyes, he said, "Oh! Oh, I see!" He turned to his laptop once more, contemplating. "Um. Well."

Shadow pushed against the laptop again, knocking the screen down a little. Virgil held his breath. Logic was taking longer to decide than he hoped he would. Mentally retreating, Virgil said, "It's okay if you're busy, I can watch it alone-"

"Very well." Logic said, standing up and closing the laptop fully. He straightened his shirt a little, which Virgil found so cute since he was wearing an old pajama top. Logic smiled shyly and said, "I'd love to."

Virgil couldn't hold back his smile. He led them into his room, where he had the movie already pulled up on his own laptop. He had never seen this one before, but it was a spin-off of one of his favorite series. It was a slasher, where the Established guy with a knife runs around killing innocent Sides, just like every other slasher movie.

"Oh, is it a scary movie?" Logic asked as he climbed into bed beside Virgil. He settled against Virge's pillows so easily, one would think they've done something like this before. Virgil, meanwhile, was almost vibrating from the close proximity.

"Is that alright?" Virgil asked.

Logic rested his head on Virgil's shoulder and murmured, "Of course."

Throat dry, Virgil pressed play.

The movie wasn't bad exactly, more like cheesy and predictable. But Virgil still thoroughly enjoyed every second of it. Every time a Side got cornered by the bigger, stronger slasher, Virgil knew they were done for.

He didn't realize they were halfway through the movie until Logic flinched so hard the laptop jerked and the red progression bar popped up. Virgil paused the movie and looked at Logic, "You ok?"

"Yes." Logic said, although he sounded shaken. "It's a scary movie."

"Yeah, I guess." Virgil said. He had felt Logic flinch throughout the film, but he didn't think Logic was actually scared - just like, startled. "Do you want to stop?"

"No, I'm alright." Logic said, frowning. "But… why aren't you scared?"

Virgil blinked dumbly. "Huh?"

Logic sighed and sat up. Virgil immediately missed his warmth. They had gotten rather cozy during the duration of the movie, and Logic's absence now only made that more apparent. Logic spoke firmly, adjusting his glasses, "It's just that. You're an Anxiety Side; you're more attuned to adrenaline and cortisol. Why doesn't this scare you?"

"Oh. Well," Virgil shrugged, "I guess, I've just seen worse?"

Logic frowned. "So you're desensitized to violence?"

"Um. Maybe?" Virgil shook his head, "I think it's more like, I'm just used to being afraid in general. So watching this doesn't feel much different than a regular day."

Logic shook his head, "You're so brave. I could never be you."

Virgil sputtered, feeling his cheeks heat. "What? No I'm not, I just said I'm scared every day."

"And yet you keep functioning." Logic said with a smile. He was making Virgil feel funny again. Virge swallowed thickly. Logic added, "It's far better than I could do."

Virgil shook his head, "I don't believe that."
"I couldn't think after we unfused." Logic pointed out.

Me neither. Virgil wanted to say, but not for the same reasons.

Being Scrutiny gave Virgil access to endless information, but his mental doom-scrolling was only satisfying to himself. He scared Logic. He couldn't let that happen again. Apparently, Logic had other plans.

"I want to fuse with you." Logic whispered. The way he said it, the way he suddenly couldn't meet Virgil's gaze, Virgil could feel Logic's anxiety as if it were his own. Logic licked his lips and added, "I want to be brave too."

Virgil's chest was warring over what emotion he should be feeling the most. He looked at the posters on his wall, trying to keep his voice even. "Then maybe you should fuse with Roman."

Logic looked at him, his eyebrows pinched.

Virgil said, "I'll just distract you."

"Please," Logic leaned closer, "distract me."

Virgil's face flushed hot. He squeaked, words failing him. He clamped his lips together to keep from embarrassing himself.

"It's just-" Logic sighed, looking back at the laptop. He leaned against Virgil's shoulder again. Despair and exhaustion were evident in his voice as he said, "It's so hard doing it all alone."

Virgil wasn't sure exactly what Logic meant, but he could certainly understand the sentiment. Even though he's irritated by it - there is a specific comfort that comes from being fused. When you're not in the driver's seat, a road trip sounds easy.

"We could fuse again," Virgil said slowly, "Just … not now."

"No," Logic agreed, wrapping his arm around Virgil's waist. "Not now. We have a movie to finish."

Virgil smiled to himself, settled against Logic's side, and pressed play. In the darkness, and with the comfort of a distraction, Virgil shifted slightly so he could hide his face in Logic's hair. It wasn't as soft as Patton's, but smelled just as nice.

"Virgil." Logic said, voice almost hard. Virgil jerked away, both caught and guilty for invading Logic's personal space. Virgil held his breath and awaited rejection. Until he heard, "Is that a new tattoo?"