"Heya Haddy!"

I stop in my tracks, turning to the grinning girl in front of me. Two tufts of hair plled up high almost like animal ears, and an infectious grin.

"...P90?"

"That's me!" She strides right up to me and slugs my shoulder. "Miss me?"

"Like you wouldn't believe." I can't keep the smile off my face. "How…?"

"Oh, it's easy!" She grabs my hand. "They fixed me right up!"

"They?"

She starts to pull me out of the forest into rolling hills. In the distance, a city looms with tall purification walls processing the collapse radiation that sweeps up. It's far in the distance, so far the city is but a speck.

"Who's they?" I ask again, but she keeps pulling me forward.

"Don't worry about it. They'll make you happy! They fixed me right up, they can fix anything!"

"Wait, P90-"

Her grip grows stronger. "We need to go, Haddy. They'll fix everything."

"P90, wait! How can they fix everything? People died! I got people killed! I can't-"

"They brought me back."

"You're…" I pause.

"A robot?" She laughs. "Well, yeah, but they're good at humans too!"

I look back at the wall, now looming overhead, the shadow blocking out the sun. The wall has a logo I hadn't been able to see from a distance.

Paradeus.

I dig my heels in, but P90 continues to pull me forward. "C'mon, Haddy! We've made so many things better!"

"What the fu- P90, why are you with Paradeus?! Don't you know what they've done?!"

"I know, I know, but look at all the good they've done! Everyone's happy inside the walls."

"No." I pull my arm, but she doesn't let go. She's a doll, grip strength so much stronger than I could ever hope for. "No! I spent so many years-"

"And what did those years get you?" P90 looks back at me, finally not dragging me behind her but still holding on. "You lost your girlfriends, your wives, your friends. You sleep in a tiny apartment and fear for your kid's lives."

"I still have my kids." I growl.

"Sector 3 isn't going to last much longer, and we both know it. You're better off joining the winning team instead of resisting. It'll be better for your kids too."

"No it won't! Haven't you seen what they do to prisoners? What they do when you say you don't like something?!"

"Then just don't worry about those things."

"Those things are important!" I roar. "Let go of me!"

"No. You need to enter the city."

I raise my handgun and aim it at her face. "I'm not going."

"I'm telling you that you can be happy." Her face falls. "Don't you want to be happy again? Maybe give your kids the security to grow up?"

"I want nothing more than that for my kids. But, I don't think Paradeus is the way to bring people happiness. They use reanimated corpses to make troops."

"I know. After all, that's how I was made."

I stand stock still for what feels like eternity.

"What?"

"You can't get anything for free, Haddy. Someone had to die so I could live, that's the way the world works, right?"

"No, it doesn't! It only works that way if you give up on everyone else and look out only for yourself."

"And how has looking out for everyone else worked for you?"

"P90, let go."

"Have you talked with anyone recently? Family? Friends?"

"Let. Go."

"Have you lost enough people outside the walls to wish they'd just stop feeding the monsters and let the walls be overrun?" She leans in, forehead pressing into the barrel of my pistol.

"Please… let me go."

"I will never let go unless you shoot me. It's that important."

"I… I'm sorry, P90."

"Huh?" Her eyes widen as my finger squeezes down. "Wait, I didn't mean-!"

Bang

She collapses to the ground, head blown open much like any number of humans I've killed over the years. Human. Not a doll.

It makes me want to puke.

I look up at the wall once more before turning around to walk back the way I came.

"Here, you dropped this."

I accept the rifle from Gentiane. "Thanks. What's the mission?"

"There's traitors in the forest." She points back where I came from, only a few minutes walk away. "I need you to go in there and hunt them down."

"Uh… who is it?"

"No time to explain. Hurry up and do your job."

My grip tightens on my rifle. "Understood."

I march off to the woods, checking I have enough ammo for whoever shows up.

As soon as I enter the woods, eyes appear all around me. Eyes glowing yellow, and red, and green and blue and purple-

A round shoots past my head, and I instinctively duck down and return fire, only to have the bush where I just fired give out a high pitched, mildly electronic scream. Out of the bush falls Honey Badger, dead.

Another shot and I roll to get out of the line of fire, rotating my rifle around to fire at my next attacker.

Another doll falls down dead, only for two more to put their back to trees and poke the barrels of their firearms from around their cover.

I continue to fire as more and more dolls show up to the clearing, the mountain of corpses building up and and up until I can use the pile of corpses to look out over the trees.

SV-98's face stares up at me accusingly as I step over her corpse on my way back to Gentaine.

"Why?" She seems to ask.

"Because, you're traitors." I let my rifle drop to my side.

"I wouldn't! Who says I'm a traitor?"

"It was Gentiane."

"She's a liar!" SV-98's corpse leaps up, one eye missing from where my shot had taken it out. "She's always lying to you, Hadwin! Why would you ever trust her?"

"B-but, she told me-"

"Please tell me you didn't kill us because you thought she wouldn't lie to you anymore." I look over to see AEK, a hole right through her chest, frowning at me. "She's a liar to the core. She'll tell you anything to get what she wants, 'Oh, you're so good at commanding! No, I don't think your family will be in danger. I'll contact you when we've dealt with this Paradeus so you can talk to your girls again.' Has she ever told you anything you didn't need to question?"

I sit down on the pile of corpses and put my head in my hands. No, she… I wouldn't just follow her blindly. I learned that one the hard way.

But then, why did I…?

I look around at the graves around me, with familiar names carved into them.

One of them sticks out like a sore thumb though, a grave that looks like someone's been using it for target practice. Well, that and a canvas for some spray paint, and something to carve epitaphs into.

Mine, of course. I can't see the text, but I know it's mine.

I sit down in front of it, contemplating the stone. This is my fate, after all, A grave defected by all the people I let down, lives I've ruined, people I failed to save.

Littered on the ground around me are small trinkets. Patches I made, little gifts I gave my squad. The patches look like someone took a torch to them too, as if just dumping them in the dirt to decay wasn't enough.

Then I see the silver rings. The rings whose partners I've worn for a decade straight.

I reach out for them, only for the rings to disappear.

"Hadwin, I need you to get up."

"I can't."

RO crouches down in front of me, 15 right behind her with her arms crossed. "You can, Hadwin. You're strong, and we need you to help."

I look up.

M4 and SOPMOD are also here, both of them looking down at me expectantly.

"...But, I just killed…" I look back to see an empty forest, graves gone.

"It doesn't matter." RO reaches out a hand. "We need you right now, and what happened in the past is irrelevant."

"Irrelevant, huh?" My gaze returns to the empty forest.

"Maybe not to you, not now, but in the future you'll see that it's nothing in the grand scheme of things."

15 walks right up to my shoulder and bumps against me. "Still fighting?"

"You know it."

"We're heading for Sector 3." M4 announces. "We've got some Paradeus traitors holed up in a safe house inside the city."

"What? How?! I patrol every night-!" I start, but she cuts me off.

"You missed a few. How can you claim to be protecting people if this is the level you're at?"

"Yeah Haddy." Sop grins. "We've been taking out entire Paradeus bases and you've hardly shut down six small cells."

"He's only one guy." RO pats my shoulder. "Give him some slack."

"Does giving him slack bring the dead back?" 15 asks. "Let's hurry before we let another mistake go."

Suitably chastised, I follow them back to Sector 3, through the ruins of the old city and into the walls where people live blissfully unaware of the world outside. My home, such as it is.

We walk for a bit, through deserted streets, right up to a location I know well.

"Why are we at my parent's house?" I finally break the silence.

"They're the traitors." M4 announces. "Paradeus has your sister and they've been using her to sneak people into the city under your nose."

"That can't be." I reach out to grab SOPMOD before she can run up the stairs, but RO grabs me before I can get to her.

"Hadwin, you can't let your personal feelings get in the way of the mission. Let's go."

She turns and I reluctantly follow her into the house.

The rest of Anti-Rain are waiting inside, weapons at the ready. I bring mine up… but I find myself lagging behind as we creep up the stairs to the bedrooms.

M4 and Sop head for my parents bedroom, while RO and 15 wait for me to stack up on my sister's door. RO holds up three fingers, then counts down to zero, where we burst in.

My sister screams as the crash and lights from our flashlights illuminate her.

Bullets fire from either side of me, RO and 15 riddling the young adult with enough bullets to stop anything short of an ELID. Her face is no longer recognizable, a pool of barely connected tissue, dangling from the neck.

I turn away, unable to look any longer. I feel sick.

RO comforts me, once more putting her hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry about it, Hadwin. Life's just cruel sometimes." She leans in closer. "Actually, it's been a while since we've been together. Can we go back to your place to talk?"

I try to look back at my sister, but she grabs my head and keeps me looking forward.

Always forward.

We get to my house, and she walks right into my bedroom, lying down on the bed.

"Well? What are you waiting for?"

I nod, pulling down my pants, only for tem to get tangled up-

"Ow." I rub my head, sitting up off the floor of my room.

RO's gone.

Fuck, I hate it when I have bad dreams.

I climb back onto the bed-

My phone buzzes, and I look at the screen. It's from Farah. She really shouldn't be up this la-

Dad, there's someone inside the house.

My blood runs cold.

No… not again! I'm not gonna lose my kids again! I don't care if this is another dream!

I grab my sidearm, hand hardly brushing the knob as I prepare to grab it in a swift motion.

My targeting interface kicks on, and two bodies are immediately identified. Through the door, EM signatures showing me where the frames are located.

One of them moves toward the door to my kids' room.

I fling the door open, unloading a few rounds into the face of the first doll, before lowering the weapon to melt the core.

The other doll, one with short gray hair, turns around as I burst out, but I don't give her a chance to bring her weapon to bear, popping rounds into her chest as well until she collapses face down on the floor.

"Farah?" I call out.

The door to the kid's room opens and my three children are standing there.

"Don't look." I command them. "Follow me."

I turn to the front door-

There's someone peeking in through the blinds. Dull gray eyes-

I shove Gertrude to the ground, crouching down and unloading the remaining rounds inside my gun through the glass.

Oliver screams out as panic overwhelms him, and my blood boils even further.

How dare… How DARE you frighten MY CHILDREN?!

I reload my handgun with a magazine I keep stashed in the drawer heading outside the door, and smash this door open as well, gun already poised to fire at the final doll, one walking up tot the door, a gun in her hand.

I level the firearm at the dolls and fire three shots, but this one is ready for it and dodges to the side, firing a round back. The bullet slams into my arm, throwing my aim off even harder.

I jump down the stairs and land on the street turning to see-

416, rifle aimed at me, green eyes burning.

"Scheisse! Hadwin, what are you doing?!" Her voice is pained. "G11-"

I look down, only to find a broken doll, a small girl that used to be G11, flat on her back from where she had been on her tiptoes to see into the house, no doubt wondering what the gunfire was.

"What… what the fuck-"

She raises her gun again, pointing it at my head. "You… Du SCHLAMPE!"

I fire one more round, punching through her head.

It's… it's okay.

This is a dream.

I've had dreams like this before, and afterall, I left her core intact…

I reach over to shake G11's shoulder. "Hey, G? You good?"

No response.

I turn back to my house.

My three children look at me, terrified.

"It's… it's okay kids." I take a deep breathe. "Just some intruders-"

I reach out to touch Gertrude, but she shrinks away.

Farah pulls out a gun, a HK USP.

"Wha- Sweetie, where did you get-"

"Stay away from Gerty!" She yells, bringing the gun up. "Don't come closer!"

"Farah, put the gun down." I take a step forward. "You could hurt someone."

"Dad…" Oliver whispers, eyes still distant. "You just killed auntie."

"...What?"

Farah doesn't put the gun down, but brings her brother and sister back into the house more, letting me walk in to see the two corpses on the ground.

One of them, the one next to the kids' door, is recognizable with the lights on.

UMP 9. Her clothes have been torn away, and the core has been wretched from her back.

Next to her, UMP 45, hair cut short, leaks hydraulic fluid, her own chest shot to bits. She's cradling a core in her arms.

"...45?"

She doesn't look up. "Hadwin. You… you killed my sister."

I look closer. The core is dead, a chunk taken out by a round.

"Oh… fuck."

She finally meets my eye with her own. "I come by to meet my child, and you… you killed us. Not the welcome… I was expecting."

"You can't just sneak up on- I, I'm sorry!" I reach out to touch her, only for her to angrily slap my hand away.

"Go away, Hadwin. You're a psychopath."

"But-"

"Just let me… think of my sisters… instead of your stupid words."

The light fades from her eyes, and my overlay indicates her core is dead.

"No…"

I turn back, only to find my kids are gone.

I run out the door, only to find them running away down the road.

"Farah! Ollie! Gerty!"

Farah turns around, attempting to level the firearm she still hasn't dropped. "STAY AWAY!"

"Farah, I-"

"You keep hurting us! You're so scary, Gerty doesn't talk to you anymore!"

I blink. "No, sweetie, that was the dolls-"

"No! It's always you, trying to kill everyone! Ollie told me you tried to snap his neck when he hugged you the other day!"

I rub my head. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm not really-"

"Mom always sid you were one too many bad nights away from hurting us. I'm glad she didn't live to see it."

This is a dream.

"Okay Farah, you win, okay? Just put the gun down, and… I don't know, why don't you go to Grandma's? Just for tonight, okay?"

"...Okay." She lowers the gun. "If you follow us, I'm calling the police."

I look back at my handiwork. "Don't worry, they'll be here shortly regardless."

I wait for them to disappear around the corner before walking over to the steps leading to my door and sit down heavily onto the steps.

Fuck.

I look back at the two corpses, only to find one of them gone. 416 is nowhere to be found.

God damn it. I wish I'd just wake up-

My arm tweaks hard enough to elicit a hiss, and a damage diagnostic shows up on my HUD. The bullet is still in my arm, and the adrenaline's finally been cut off as I'm out of combat.

Wait.

You can't feel pain in a dream.

I pinch myself, then harder.

No, no no no nonononono-

I turn back to look at the UMP twins, dead on the floor.

45's ring is still around her neck, glinting in the light from the kitchen.

What… what have I done?

Flashing blue lights start to show up on the walls of the buildings, heralding the approaching police cars.

I… I killed…

I raise the handgun, check it's racked and loaded, and point it at my temple.

My kids hate me.

What the fuck did I do to deserve this? I just… I just…

I just always did what someone told me to.

I just did my best to protect those around me.

I protect people in hells of human creation, and this is what it left me.

I pull the trigger.